March 24, 2025 • 34 mins
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Uncertainty paralyzes most men into avoiding decisions entirely or making impulsive choices driven by fear. But what if the very thing you're running from could become your greatest source of strength?
The psychology behind uncertainty reveals why our brains interpret the unknown as threatening. When faced with uncertainty, our amygdala triggers primal responses that once protected us but now manifest as anxiety and avoidance. For men especially, societal pressures to always have answers compound these challenges, creating a dangerous internal struggle between appearing confident and feeling utterly lost.
Enter James, a man whose carefully constructed life imploded when unexpected job loss shattered his sense of security. His story mirrors what many experience – the paralysis, withdrawal, and loss of confidence that uncertainty brings. Yet through radical acceptance and deliberate practice, he transformed uncertainty from his enemy into his teacher, developing an unshakable internal stability that transcended external circumstances.
This episode unpacks powerful, actionable strategies for staying grounded amid chaos. You'll discover how to distinguish between what you can and cannot control, establish non-negotiable routines that create stability, and deliberately train yourself for discomfort. Most importantly, you'll learn to reframe uncertainty as your proving ground – the arena where your character is both revealed and developed.
The strongest men don't somehow avoid uncertainty – they've learned to stand firm within it. They make decisions when others hesitate and take calculated action while peers remain paralyzed. Ready to join their ranks? This episode provides your roadmap to becoming the man who thrives under pressure rather than crumbling beneath it.
Key moments in this episode:
03:40 Understanding the Psychology of Uncertainty
07:51 The Cost of Avoiding Uncertainty
10:39 Strategies to Build Mental Toughness
17:46 James' Story: Embracing Uncertainty
23:18 Practical Strategies for Radical Acceptance
32:10 Conclusion and Call to Action
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man podcast.
It's where we challenge men toredefine success, to lead with
integrity and to create alasting impact.
And today I'm your host, alanDeMonto, and we're going to
tackle some of the greatchallenges that we face in our
modern world.
And today, the challenge we'regoing to tackle is being
grounded amid all of thisuncertainty.
(00:22):
And so, in a world whereeverything really seems to
change in constant flux, being,whether that being in business
or relationships, finances, evenour own sense of purpose, it's
going to be pretty easy, I think, for us to feel like we're
standing on shaky ground.
And the truth is thatuncertainty is going to be
inevitable.
And so the real question isn'tabout having uncertainty, it's
(00:45):
how do we navigate it withoutlosing ourselves in today's
chaos?
And so most men, typically,we're going to react in one of
two ways we're either going toshut down and avoid making
decisions, or we're going toreact impulsively, and so
letting fear dictate what ournext move is going to be could
be very dangerous for ourselves.
(01:06):
And so if I told you thatthere's a way to for us to stay
centered and calm and truly bein control, no matter what life
throws at us, and so, in today'sepisode, we're going to break
this all down for you, with themyths that keep men stuck in our
fear, and the mind shifts thatbuild unshakable resilience and
provide you a powerful strategy,or some strategies that help
(01:28):
you so you can stay groundedwhen it really feels completely
uncertain.
And if you're ready to takecontrol and lean into this,
because this episode could bethe change of everything that
you need in this moment.
Before we get started, there'ssomething very important that I
want you to do for me and do forother men, and that is, if this
topic resonates with you, I'dlike you to hit the like button,
(01:52):
subscribe to our podcast anddrop a comment telling me the
biggest area of uncertainty thatyou're faced with right now.
You see, when men like youengage, it helps us spread the
word and the message and itempowers more men to take
control of their lives.
So just take two seconds, hitlike subscribe and let's get
this conversation going whydon't we?
(02:12):
And with that, let's get onwith today's episode.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
The average man today is sleepwalking through life,
many never reaching their truepotential, let alone ever
crossing the finish line toliving a purposeful life.
Yet the hunger still exists,albeit buried amidst his
cluttered mind, misguidedbeliefs and values that no
longer serve him.
It's time to align yourself forgreatness.
(02:37):
It's time to become arevolutionary man.
Strong, my brother.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Welcome everyone back to the Revolutionary man
podcast, and before we getstarted, I'd like to ask you a
couple of questions.
When was the last timeuncertainty held you back from
making a bold move?
And, as you're considering that, what was the impact as fear
has had on the unknown, and howthat's had a hold on you, for
(03:07):
your leadership, in yourrelationships and in your
confidence?
And if you could navigateuncertainty with complex or
complete clarity and confidence,how would your life be
different?
You know, these are just aren'tquestions.
These are things to help usstart thinking and reframing our
(03:27):
point, reclaiming control ofour lives, and so, as we dive
into today's conversation,consider these questions, and
I'm sure many more are going tocome up for you.
So the first thing I wanted totalk about is the psychology
behind uncertainty.
Uncertainty is going to be oneof those great stressors that
many of us can face, and we allface it at some level, in some
(03:49):
way, shape or form, isn't ittrue?
Because it triggers fear, itbrings self doubt and it's
hesitation, and these threethings alone can be the things
that kill our momentum in bothour personal and our
professional life, and sounderstanding how our brain
responds to uncertainty is thefirst step in learning for us
how to stay grounded even wheneverything feels completely
(04:10):
unstable around us.
So we're going to recognizethat the biological and
psychological mechanisms thatare going to be at play here can
shift us from reacting withfear to responding more to
control, to responding more tocontrol.
So why could, or how could,uncertainty create stress?
That's pretty, pretty basic,don't you think the brain's
(04:32):
reaction to this is completelyunknown, right?
Our brain is just wired forsurvival.
It doesn't matter what agewe're living in.
We're always wired for just tobe able to survive, not
necessarily for success.
So when we're faced with thatlittle bit of uncertainty or
maybe it's a lot of uncertaintythe amygdala, that brain has
(04:52):
this fear.
It's our fear center,interprets it as a potential
threat, and we know this.
Right.
This is basic psychology,one-on-one, and it's when we get
into that mode, though, that ittriggers our fight or flight or
fawn response, and these aretruly primal reactions, and it's
useful when we're dealing withphysical danger, for sure, but
(05:14):
in our modern life it's going tooften manifest as anxiety,
stress and avoidance, and somost of us try to combat this
stress by really seeking someimmediate certainty, and we can
do that by a lot of differentways.
We have these impulsivedecisions right or we're going
to shut down just to avoid theissue and all together and other
(05:35):
things that end up by having isthat when we do that, neither
that approach we're going tolead to long-term stability or
even success for us, and so sowhen it affects, when we look at
it from a male perspective,this is when we have this
pressure where we always have tohave the answers right and I
know I have that on manyoccasions and that we need to be
(05:56):
this provider and maintaincontrol.
And while all of that is sotrue, what makes uncertainty
feel like a personal failurerather than this inevitable part
of life is that it makes it iswhen we start to think that
we're unworthy or not able tohandle this, and so that's what
gets us to feel thisunstableness in our lives,
whether that we're looking atthat from a financial
(06:17):
perspective or just in ourrelationships and even in our
business.
And so when we start tointernalize this as men, this
stress can really be challengingfor us, and we need to be able
to figure out how we can dealwith that head on.
And so, really, that decisionlooks like a lot of different
ways when we're in this fightand flight and fawn mode.
So sometimes that can come fromdecision paralysis right, the
(06:41):
old analysis of paralysis, wherewe're not really taking on and
really doing things lead toburnout, because we're on the
other side of that spectrums,we're overworking it and we're
always in this state of unease.
And maybe you're holding that inyour body and you're holding
that in your chest and yourshort breasts and you're feeling
tightness in your body.
And so these are key things forus to be aware of and to be to
(07:05):
know and understand what'shappening for us, so we can
start to get in front of thesetimes of uncertainty.
And so think about it you're anentrepreneur and you're
experiencing this.
Maybe it's a dip in revenue,there aren't many sales aren't
happening as like you'd like itto see it, and so, instead of
adapting, we're we avoid makingsome adjustments in our business
, and even though we have thisthoughts of failure, it becomes
(07:28):
far too overwhelming for us.
And so what happens is that wedon't take the action that we
need to, and instead of doingthat, we ultimately cause our
true downfall in our business.
And so the reality is that, formany of us is, uncertainty
shouldn't ruin us, but it shouldbe give us the ability to
handle what's going on.
(07:49):
And so let's talk about whatthose costs are.
Right, we were in these moments.
And so when we avoid dealingwith our uncertainty, it leads
to stagnation.
Just finished chatting aboutthat, right?
And so when we have this, weavoid doing anything for
personal growth, we avoid takingthat next step, and even if
it's the smallest and simplestthing and so we still what
(08:12):
happens is we just stay in ourcomfort zone.
It's where we want to feel safe.
Think of your comfort zone.
Is maybe in a moment of highstress and this uncertainty.
It's like standing on a teatowel.
It's not very big, is it?
It's just barely enough to putyour two feet on it and you
don't really want to stepoutside of it.
But I guarantee you that themore that we stay in this, we're
(08:33):
going to remain stuck, andwhile we're doing that, the
world and everything around usis going to move forward.
And so, whether it's staying ina dead end job that you're not
happy with, or you're avoidingthose tough and challenging
conversations you need to havewhen you're with your family, or
you're just refusing to takeany calculated risk, the cost of
avoiding doing any of those islong-term.
(08:55):
In the long run it's going tobe regret, and that's a far
heavier weight to carry than itis to face what we need to face.
So we're really talking abouthere about the difference
between short-term comfort andlong-term regret, and so, for
most of us, the trade orpotential for temporary security
.
But the problem is that morethat we, the more that we avoid
(09:17):
this uncertainty, the lesscapable we become at handling it
when, inevitably, is going tocome our way.
And so again, think about that,the decisions in your life, the
times when you've avoided maybeit was asking for a raise or
you're starting a business andyou're concerned and fear of
rejection, and maybe beinguncomfortable and maybe being
(09:38):
too uncomfortable right now.
But if you think about it andyou took a little bit of action,
five years down the road youcould be stuck in the same place
and still haven't taken anyaction.
Just think about the regretthat piles on.
And so here's the uncomfortabletruth that certainty is a myth.
There's no amount ofpreparation that's going to
(10:01):
eliminate uncertainty entirely.
We're always going to have some.
The key isn't to chaseuncertainty, it's to become so
mentally and emotionally strongthat uncertainty doesn't shake
us when I think of Tony Robbinsand a quote that he has, and he
says the quality of your life isin direct proportion to the
amount of uncertainty you cancomfortably live with.
(10:21):
Think about that for a momentthe quality of our life is in
direct proportion to the amountof uncertainty that we can
comfortably live with.
It's pretty powerful, if youask me.
So how do we stay grounded inuncertainty If we already
recognize that uncertainty isinevitable?
(10:42):
The only way forward is todevelop tools and to help us
navigate through this, thesemoments of uncertainty, with
confidence.
And so the difference betweenthose of men who thrive under
uncertainty and those whocrumble, it's going to be their
ability to shift their mindset,to develop really strong mental
habits and to take control oftheir, of their focus.
(11:02):
And so we're going to start by.
The first strategy and tool I'mgoing to offer for you is just a
reframe, and reframing is thatuncertainty as an opportunity.
Uncertainty is not going to bethe enemy, it's going to be a
gateway, the pathway forward forgrowth.
And so every time that we'refaced with a challenge for us to
overcome, it's going to startwith uncertainty, isn't it?
(11:25):
We're stepping into unknown.
So, instead of seeing thisuncertainty as a threat, we're
going to train ourselves to seeit as man.
Here's an opportunity for me toevolve and to grow, and so
those, those that choose to takethat aren't the ones who are
going to avoid uncertaintyaltogether, but they're going to
be the ones who are going tostep in it head-on and they're
going to extract whatever lessonthey can from that experience.
(11:49):
So then we're going to the nextpiece we're going to look at is
we're going to shift from whatif I fail?
To a different conversation.
In our mind, it says what ifthis is the best thing that has
ever happened to me?
Instead of focusing on what'sgoing to go wrong, obviously,
let's start visualizing what cango right.
Our subconscious mind is prettypowerful and it's going to
(12:10):
respond to any question thatwe're going to ask it.
So, if you're going to ask it,what is it?
What if this goes wrong?
Guess what you're going to findout?
You're going to find out allthe reasons, how it's going to
go wrong.
Maybe that's a great mitigationstrategy and a small step to
take, but I challenge you if youflip that question around and
start to ask your brain aboutwhat are the solutions instead
(12:32):
of the problem that you're facedwith, you're going to have a
much more empowering answersthat are going to come forward,
and so, again, we'll go back tothe idea of being entrepreneurs.
This is something that many ofus strive to do and to become,
and so if two business ownersare faced in an economic
downturn and one panics, cutsback and starts to play defense,
(12:54):
and the other one chooses tosee this as a disruption, as a
chance to pivot, so they beginto innovate and they gain, and
then they start to takeadvantage, while others are
going to be retreating.
Who would you rather be, thefirst business owner or the
second business owner?
Because I offer for yourconsideration that first
business owner is probably goingto have a collapsing business,
(13:17):
and the other business owner isgoing to have an opportunity to
build a thriving business.
So, in order to get there, weneed to build some mental
toughness, and so what are somethings that we can do throughout
the day to help us truly buildmental resilience and mental
toughness?
And so it isn't right when wethink about resilience is
(13:39):
resilience isn't built in crisis.
It's going to be trained daily.
So we can't wait for shit tohappen.
We have to be trainingourselves on every given moment
and every given day, and so wedon't develop our emotional and
mental strength when uncertaintyhits.
You develop it in the monthsand the years leading up to it,
and so think about it.
It's just like going to the gymand practicing.
(14:02):
Mental toughness is built onconsistent training and exposing
ourselves to controlleddiscomfort.
So how are, how do we do that?
What are some key practicesthat we can consider to
implement in our lives to helpbuild mental toughness?
The first one that I justmentioned it was physical
discipline.
It's everything from coldshowers to weightlifting to
(14:23):
endurance training to push usbeyond our mental barriers, and
when we can do that, then westart to strengthen who we are,
because no longer are weallowing our ego mind to dictate
who we are.
Mindfulness, and that controlledbreathing exercises One of the
things that we're seeing moreand more, and I'm seeing
especially more and more indoing men's work is really
(14:45):
helping men understand and getinto their bodies and recognize
what's happening and how.
Again, we talked a littleearlier in today's episode about
how's your breathing?
Have you slowed down yourbreathing?
Have you been able to be incontrol of that part of that
process?
What kind of mindfulnesspractice?
Do you have to stop to meditate, to journal, to do any of these
(15:05):
things?
When you start to do thesepractices and have some a bit of
self-reflection, it's going tohelp us process this uncertainty
that's sitting in our minds andin our lives, and then that's
how we're going to extract andpull all the lessons that's
happening, instead of having usreact emotionally to this, to
(15:26):
what's happening around us.
And so I always like the ideaof the image of a boxer who's
thinking about it.
Okay, he's going to get readyto go into his big boxing match,
but instead of start training,he just waits because he
imagines that he's just nevergoing to be ready.
And so when you think aboutthat, if you were going to get
(15:46):
into a training, into a boxingmatch, you'd start training
today, wouldn't you?
And see?
But most resilient men, they'regoing to train daily, and so
they get prepared for whatevercomes their way.
And you can do that too if youconsider yourself the boxer in
your life, and being preparedand practicing and training
every day gets you ready forwhen the moment comes that you
(16:08):
need to step into that ring.
So the next thing I want you toconsider is what are the things
that you can control and thenjust let go of the rest.
Most of our anxiety is going tocome from trying to control the
uncontrollable.
And so when you can't controlthings like the economy, other
people's opinions, anyunforeseen challenges, those are
(16:31):
the things that are going todrive you up the wall and those
are the things that are going tomake life difficult.
But when you stop to thinkabout what you are in control,
in any situation, you're incontrol of your mindset, you're
in control of how you prepareand you're in control of how you
respond, and so the more thatwe focus on the things that are
outside of our control, the morechallenges we're going to have.
(16:52):
They call that have an externallocus of control, right, and
instead we want to focus on theinternal locus of control, all
the things that I'm able tohandle, and even going into
understanding and payingattention to our body's
reactions.
And so what does thiscontrollable formula look like?
So I'm going to give you alittle formula to help you
(17:14):
really put this together.
So you're going to think aboutwhat can you control?
Okay, I can control my workethic.
I can control my emotionalstate.
I can control my ability toadapt.
What can't I control?
I can't control the past, Ican't control other people's
reactions and I can't controlthe future.
So when I start to shift myfocus entirely from that first
(17:35):
list, then I can free myselffrom making the necessary
changes that I need to in mylife.
And so I want to talk, tell youa little bit of story about a
gentleman.
His name's James, and James hasalways been a man with a plan
and he's had a steady career.
He's got a growing family and aclear trajectory for success.
But one Monday morningeverything changed for James.
(17:57):
His company had announcedmassive layoffs and he was one
of them.
And just like that, the job hehad poured years of effort into
was gone.
There's no warning, no backupplan.
Job he had poured years ofeffort into was gone.
There's no warning, no backupplan, just a severance check and
an empty calendar.
As he walked out of the officewith the box of his belongings,
his mind raced with questionswhat now?
How will I provide for myfamily?
(18:18):
Am I even good enough to startover?
And his stomach tightened, ofcourse, with anxiety and the
cold sweat formed on his brow.
And he had spent his whole lifebelieving that hard work
created security.
But now James was faced withthe unknown and he felt
completely powerless.
And so, the first time in years, james is standing in an
(18:39):
uncertain ground, and he had noidea what to do next.
So soon those days turned intoweeks and the uncertainty
consumed him.
And his morning routine, oncebuilt upon the purpose and
structure, now felt meaningless.
And so he stopped waking upearly, his workouts became
inconsistent, and every jobapplication he submitted felt
like a desperate attempt toregain control.
(19:01):
And the rejection emailsstarted to pile up, each one
another punch to his alreadyfragile confidence and ego.
And so he withdrew from hiswife and his kids and, not
wanting them to see the fearbehind his eyes and it might be
staring at the sin at night,he'd sit there, just stare at
the ceiling, haunted by thoughtsof failure.
(19:22):
But as with anything in life,there comes a moment that
everything changed.
And then, one evening, whilesitting in the dark, strolling
in the mindlessly through hisphone, he came across a quote so
the quality of your life is indirect proportion to the amount
of uncertainty you arecomfortable to live with.
Isn't that an interesting quote, my friends?
And he read it again and again,and it was as if the words were
(19:43):
speaking directly to him.
And for weeks he had beentrying to escape uncertainty,
waiting for the feeling ofstability to come back.
But what if it wasn't theanswer?
And what if certainty was nevergoing to come?
And the only way forward wasfor James to embrace the unknown
.
So James realized that the menhe admired most, those business
(20:06):
leaders, the athletes, thewarriors, they didn't avoid
uncertainty, they thrived in it.
They didn't wait for clarity toact, they just acted despite of
having any clarity.
And he had been lacking andreally looking at what the
uncertainty as this enemy to hislife.
But what if the very thingwould make him much, much
(20:28):
stronger?
And so that night James made adecision he was going to stop
reacting to uncertainty and he'sgoing to start preparing.
And he couldn't control the jobmarket, but he could control
how he approached it.
And so he continued.
He couldn't guarantee hisimmediate success, but he could
guarantee that he would bementally and physically ready
for whatever came next.
(20:49):
And so he went back to settinghis alarm for 5am and he
committed to rebuilding himselfinside out.
He started journaling everymorning, writing out his fears
and countering them with hisactions.
So slowly, james started torebuild his morning workout
routine, and not for hisphysical health alone, but to
(21:10):
train his mind for discipline.
He applied for jobs with adifferent mindset, one of
abundance instead of scarcity.
He stopped seeing the rejectionas failure and started seeing
it as feedback.
Every no was just another steptoward the right yes.
And his wife noticed the change.
First she said you seemdifferent, james.
(21:30):
She said one morning overcoffee, and as he heard that,
the man that once led anuncertain life and was truly
paralyzing he, was now facing itwith confidence.
And it's not because theuncertainty had disappeared but
because he had developed theresilience to handle it.
And so it took about six monthsand James was not just
(21:51):
surviving but he was thriving,and he had landed a new job, and
one that was a better alignedto his long-term goals.
But the real transformationwasn't his career, it was truly
in his mindset.
He was no longer driven for theneed for external stability and
he had created stability withinhimself.
And James understood thecertainty was truly an illusion,
(22:12):
and true confidence came fromhis ability to navigate the
unknown.
And so, as he was sitting athome one evening and he was
playing catch with the sun inthe backyard, he realized
something incredibly powerfulHis children weren't watching
how he handled success.
They were watching how hehandled adversity, and for the
(22:33):
first time in his life, he felthe was setting the right example
.
Now, because James learned thatuncertainty wasn't the enemy,
it was his greatest teacher, andbecause of that, he would never
fear the unknown again.
And so uncertainty is going tobe inevitable.
That feeling lost, anxious orreactive doesn't have to be in
the strongest manner.
(22:53):
The ones that are going toeliminate are really going to be
the ones eliminate uncertainty.
They're the ones who mastertheir ability to navigate it.
So following practicalstrategies is going to give you
this battle-tested framework tohelp you stay grounded, focused
and resilient no matter whatchallenges come your way.
(23:14):
So let's practice some radicalacceptance as our first
battle-tested strategy.
And so why is that important?
It's important because most ofus waste our energy resisting
uncertainty and so trying tocontrol our outcomes,
overanalyzing worst casescenarios or just waiting for
this perfect moment to act.
(23:36):
This is going to only lead tofrustration and paralysis.
We know that.
We've talked about that atlength today.
And so radical acceptance meansfor us to fully accept that
uncertainty is going to be apart of life.
It is what life is all aboutand that fighting it is only
going to make it worse.
And so, once we stop resisting,we can free up this extra
energy now to focus on whatactually we can control.
(23:59):
And so, whenever you findyourself feeling anxious about
the unknown, just want you topause for a moment and ask About
the unknown.
I just want you to pause for amoment and ask am I focusing on
something I can control or am Iresisting reality?
And then write down what'soutside of your control and then
just start crossing it off andthen redirect your focus to the
actions within your own power.
(24:20):
We're going to train our mindsnow, for this radical acceptance
is that I may not control thesituation, but I can control how
I respond.
And so and think about if Ijust had, if I'm, if I continue
to think that I'm just having towork harder so I can eliminate
(24:41):
uncertainty.
We already know we're going tobe in the same position that
James is in, right, and so thereisn't going to be any amount of
planning that's going to removeuncertainty.
It's learning to be able toadapt for real power.
And so I'm not saying to notplan, saying yes, make your plan
.
There's still going to beuncertainty as you execute it.
Stay focused on executing it,and then we're going to move the
(25:01):
second part of thisbattle-tested plan and that's
control what you can framework.
And so it's important becauseanxiety and overwhelm can come
from just focusing on thesethings that have been outside of
our control all these years.
And whether we've talked aboutthat being the economy, other
people, any potential futureoutcomes, even the past, the
most grounded of us are going todraw a hard line between what
(25:24):
we can influence and what wecan't, and so, instead of
wasting time on uncertainty,we're going to double down on
really focusing on our personalpower.
And again, you're going to makea couple of lists here, one of
the things that you can controland one that you can't, and so
commit to only taking action onour first list.
So, going back to that radicalacceptance, we're going to stay
(25:45):
focused on that list.
And what is?
The ones that we can, and ifI'm focusing on what I can, what
I can't control, then I knowthat I'm in the wrong mindset
and I can focus over to thisother list.
And this list can continue togrow, and I suggest that you
keep that because, as everydoubt or every uncertainty comes
into your life, other thingsthat you can control and are out
(26:07):
of your control are going toshow up.
You're going to start to see abit of a pattern, thinking about
worrying about layoffs that wejust talked about.
James he can't really controlcompany's decisions, but he can
control how he can build somenew skills right, he can network
and he can create multiplestreams of income, so he's not
solely reliant on one aspect ofit.
(26:27):
But when we focus on trying tocontrol those external factors,
set up control and controllingour mindset and our habits and
our resilience and we're goingto have a hard time, aren't we?
And so here's a quick win foryou Before going to bed, list
three actions that you took thatfocused you on what you can
control, and the reason why Iwant you to do this is going to
(26:47):
help you reinforce the righthabit.
And let's go to the third part.
We're going to talk aboutestablishing some non-negotiable
routines.
Why is that important?
Because uncertainty justcreates mental chaos, doesn't?
It Just has us thinking in alldifferent directions and we can
get pretty scattered.
But a strong daily structurekeeps us grounded, and so
(27:09):
routine gives us the sense ofstability and even when
everything else is going to beunstable if we have a routine
that we can stick to.
It's going to help us feel thatwe have some control over
what's happening with us.
And so high performing athletesmen, women, anyone who's really
high performer is going to havea morning routine routine.
(27:30):
They're going to have rituals,training and discipline as their
key anchors to help themsuccess and really develop
success in their life.
And so start your morning withan intention, instead of just
reacting to what the day isabout to bring and then really
lock in some form of a physicalpractice.
It could be weightlifting, itcould be running, it could be
(27:52):
stretching.
Your body and your mind needsto be conditioned together.
And so, as we, you know,convince ourselves and we get
ourselves out of bed in themorning, we start to do things.
The more that we do that westart to build resistance.
Everything starts with one in arow, so we'll get your one in a
row started, and most mistakesmost men I can see that when
(28:13):
they we talk about this stuff isthat they're really going to
let stress dictate what theirschedule is going to look like,
instead of really havingthemselves dictate what the
schedule should be.
And so it's a key nuance for usto pay attention to on who's
really dictating that schedule.
Are we allowing stress to dothat for us, or are we taking
control of it?
And so design a morning powerhour, an hour of time where
(28:36):
you're spending with yourselfdoing things.
It could include 15, 20 minutesof meditation, 15, 20 minutes
to stretching, maybe it's 15, 20minutes of journaling or going
for a walk.
Anything but developing a powerhour that's truly for yourself
is a great way to get yourselfset up.
And so, then, the next stepwe're going to talk about is
(28:58):
really training our mind fordiscomfort, because if we only
practice mental strengthstrength when life is going to
be easy and we're not going tohave it when we need it the most
and so men who are comfortablewith discomfort, they can
navigate uncertainty better thanthose who avoid it.
And so controlled, controlledstress, so things like cold
(29:18):
exposure really popular todaynow is doing the cold plunge,
fasting.
That's something that I've beenpracticing here over the last
three weeks endurance training.
This, these types of practiceshelp build real resistance or
resilience for ourselves, and soI just talked about the cold
showers or some hard physicalchallenge I personally have
really started to really fall inlove with fasting and doing an
(29:42):
18-hour fast and I work my wayup to 20 hours here and just
getting into a routine andhaving that be a consistent part
of your lifestyle really helpsbuild some resilience in your
life.
And so a quick win here, a quickway to take, take some action,
is tomorrow morning, have thecold shower.
Do your maybe start your showeras you normally do, but finish
(30:05):
it with a minute or two of coldwater, so you can help feel that
resistance and you can breathethrough it.
It'd be a great way to startreally building a mental focus,
and we can also look at howwe're going to reframe
uncertainty as a test truly ofwho we are as our character,
(30:33):
because uncertainty reallyreveals character to us, but we
have an opportunity to developit and to shape it, and so when
we see uncertainty as a threat,then it's really going to show
up on how we respond, and seeingevery challenge as an
opportunity is a way for us toimprove or to prove to ourselves
who we truly are.
And so maybe there are someways, some things that you're,
the ways you're reacting today,that just you're not thrilled
about.
(30:53):
It's an opportunity for you toadjust and change that to really
shape and hone, develop thatcharacter.
And so, the next time you'refacing uncertainty, I'm going to
have you ask yourself thisquestion how would the strongest
version of myself handle thiswhen you ask yourself that it's
going to really change the wayyou're approaching it?
(31:14):
And so, instead of focusing onthe outcome, you're going to
focus truly on your ability, theskill to navigate the process,
because that's where real changeis.
It isn't in the outcome, it'sthat journey to that outcome.
And so start keeping track ofmoments in your life when you've
stepped into uncertainty andthrived.
You're going to see that yourconfidence is going to grow.
(31:34):
And so most of us are going toseek uncertainty as something to
avoid instead of seeingsomething that we can master.
And I guarantee you that, asyou start to practice and
implement some of these, you'regoing to see that you're
mastering it.
And so the next time you'refaced with an unknown and ask
yourself just ask yourself thisquestion why is this proof?
(31:54):
This is my proving ground.
Let me say that again the nexttime you face an unknown, say to
yourself this is my provingground, and then I want you to
take action.
There's one thing I want you totake away from today's episode,
it's this is that uncertaintyis not your enemy, it's your
proving ground.
The men who thrive in life andbusiness and in the
(32:17):
relationships aren't the oneswho avoid uncertainty, but the
ones who learn to stand firm inthe chaos and to make decisions
when others hesitate, and totake control of what they can
while letting go of what theycan't.
And so we talked about somemyths that keep us paralyzed,
the strategies that buildresilience and then mind shifts
that turn uncertainty into anopportunity.
(32:39):
So now it's time to put it intoaction.
So what are you resisting rightnow?
What situation have you beenavoiding?
Because you're waiting forcertainty.
Your challenge today is simpleYou're going to step into the
unknown with intention.
You're going to apply one ofthe strategies in this episode
and commit to acting despite theuncertainty in your life.
(32:59):
And if you're ready to takethis even further, if you're
serious about becoming the manwho leads with clarity and
confidence, no matter what lifethrows at us, then I have a
challenge for you as well.
I call it the integritychallenge.
This isn't just anotherself-help exercise.
It's a battle-tested frameworkthat's designed to help you
align your actions with yourvalues, develop rock-solid
(33:22):
resilience and become a man whothrives under pressure.
So if you're tired ofhesitation, self-doubt, playing
it small, then this is going tobe your next step.
I want you to go tomemberstheawakenedmannet and
start the integrity challengetoday.
It's free, it's powerful and itwill change the way you
(33:43):
approach every challenge in yourlife.
And so the strongest men don'twait.
They're going to decide, theyact, they lead.
So step up, take the challengeand start building the man you
were meant to be.
I want to thank you so much forjoining me on today's episode
of the Revolutionary man Podcast, and I can't wait to see meant
to be.
I want to thank you so much forjoining me on today's episode
of the Revolutionary man Podcast, and I can't wait to see you
next time.
Until then, stay strong, staygrounded, keep leading with
(34:05):
purpose.
Aho, my brothers, thank you forlistening to the Revolutionary
man Podcast.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the
man you were destined to be?
Your destiny, to become morethe man you are destined to be?
Join the brotherhood that isthe awakened man at
theawakendmannet and startforging a new destiny today.
Welcome everyone to the Revolutionary man podcast.
It's where we challenge men toredefine success, to lead with
integrity and to create alasting impact.
And today I'm your host, alanDeMonto, and we're going to
tackle some of the greatchallenges that we face in our
modern world.
And today, the challenge we'regoing to tackle is being
grounded amid all of thisuncertainty.
(00:22):
And so, in a world whereeverything really seems to
change in constant flux, being,whether that being in business
or relationships, finances, evenour own sense of purpose, it's
going to be pretty easy, I think, for us to feel like we're
standing on shaky ground.
And the truth is thatuncertainty is going to be
inevitable.
And so the real question isn'tabout having uncertainty, it's
(00:45):
how do we navigate it withoutlosing ourselves in today's
chaos?
And so most men, typically,we're going to react in one of
two ways we're either going toshut down and avoid making
decisions, or we're going toreact impulsively, and so
letting fear dictate what ournext move is going to be could
be very dangerous for ourselves.
(01:06):
And so if I told you thatthere's a way to for us to stay
centered and calm and truly bein control, no matter what life
throws at us, and so, in today'sepisode, we're going to break
this all down for you, with themyths that keep men stuck in our
fear, and the mind shifts thatbuild unshakable resilience and
provide you a powerful strategy,or some strategies that help
(01:28):
you so you can stay groundedwhen it really feels completely
uncertain.
And if you're ready to takecontrol and lean into this,
because this episode could bethe change of everything that
you need in this moment.
Before we get started, there'ssomething very important that I
want you to do for me and do forother men, and that is, if this
topic resonates with you, I'dlike you to hit the like button,
(01:52):
subscribe to our podcast anddrop a comment telling me the
biggest area of uncertainty thatyou're faced with right now.
You see, when men like youengage, it helps us spread the
word and the message and itempowers more men to take
control of their lives.
So just take two seconds, hitlike subscribe and let's get
this conversation going whydon't we?
(02:12):
And with that, let's get onwith today's episode.
Speaker 2 (02:16):
The average man today is sleepwalking through life,
many never reaching their truepotential, let alone ever
crossing the finish line toliving a purposeful life.
Yet the hunger still exists,albeit buried amidst his
cluttered mind, misguidedbeliefs and values that no
longer serve him.
It's time to align yourself forgreatness.
(02:37):
It's time to become arevolutionary man.
Strong, my brother.
Speaker 1 (02:47):
Welcome everyone back to the Revolutionary man
podcast, and before we getstarted, I'd like to ask you a
couple of questions.
When was the last timeuncertainty held you back from
making a bold move?
And, as you're considering that, what was the impact as fear
has had on the unknown, and howthat's had a hold on you, for
(03:07):
your leadership, in yourrelationships and in your
confidence?
And if you could navigateuncertainty with complex or
complete clarity and confidence,how would your life be
different?
You know, these are just aren'tquestions.
These are things to help usstart thinking and reframing our
(03:27):
point, reclaiming control ofour lives, and so, as we dive
into today's conversation,consider these questions, and
I'm sure many more are going tocome up for you.
So the first thing I wanted totalk about is the psychology
behind uncertainty.
Uncertainty is going to be oneof those great stressors that
many of us can face, and we allface it at some level, in some
(03:49):
way, shape or form, isn't ittrue?
Because it triggers fear, itbrings self doubt and it's
hesitation, and these threethings alone can be the things
that kill our momentum in bothour personal and our
professional life, and sounderstanding how our brain
responds to uncertainty is thefirst step in learning for us
how to stay grounded even wheneverything feels completely
(04:10):
unstable around us.
So we're going to recognizethat the biological and
psychological mechanisms thatare going to be at play here can
shift us from reacting withfear to responding more to
control, to responding more tocontrol.
So why could, or how could,uncertainty create stress?
That's pretty, pretty basic,don't you think the brain's
(04:32):
reaction to this is completelyunknown, right?
Our brain is just wired forsurvival.
It doesn't matter what agewe're living in.
We're always wired for just tobe able to survive, not
necessarily for success.
So when we're faced with thatlittle bit of uncertainty or
maybe it's a lot of uncertaintythe amygdala, that brain has
(04:52):
this fear.
It's our fear center,interprets it as a potential
threat, and we know this.
Right.
This is basic psychology,one-on-one, and it's when we get
into that mode, though, that ittriggers our fight or flight or
fawn response, and these aretruly primal reactions, and it's
useful when we're dealing withphysical danger, for sure, but
(05:14):
in our modern life it's going tooften manifest as anxiety,
stress and avoidance, and somost of us try to combat this
stress by really seeking someimmediate certainty, and we can
do that by a lot of differentways.
We have these impulsivedecisions right or we're going
to shut down just to avoid theissue and all together and other
(05:35):
things that end up by having isthat when we do that, neither
that approach we're going tolead to long-term stability or
even success for us, and so sowhen it affects, when we look at
it from a male perspective,this is when we have this
pressure where we always have tohave the answers right and I
know I have that on manyoccasions and that we need to be
(05:56):
this provider and maintaincontrol.
And while all of that is sotrue, what makes uncertainty
feel like a personal failurerather than this inevitable part
of life is that it makes it iswhen we start to think that
we're unworthy or not able tohandle this, and so that's what
gets us to feel thisunstableness in our lives,
whether that we're looking atthat from a financial
(06:17):
perspective or just in ourrelationships and even in our
business.
And so when we start tointernalize this as men, this
stress can really be challengingfor us, and we need to be able
to figure out how we can dealwith that head on.
And so, really, that decisionlooks like a lot of different
ways when we're in this fightand flight and fawn mode.
So sometimes that can come fromdecision paralysis right, the
(06:41):
old analysis of paralysis, wherewe're not really taking on and
really doing things lead toburnout, because we're on the
other side of that spectrums,we're overworking it and we're
always in this state of unease.
And maybe you're holding that inyour body and you're holding
that in your chest and yourshort breasts and you're feeling
tightness in your body.
And so these are key things forus to be aware of and to be to
(07:05):
know and understand what'shappening for us, so we can
start to get in front of thesetimes of uncertainty.
And so think about it you're anentrepreneur and you're
experiencing this.
Maybe it's a dip in revenue,there aren't many sales aren't
happening as like you'd like itto see it, and so, instead of
adapting, we're we avoid makingsome adjustments in our business
, and even though we have thisthoughts of failure, it becomes
(07:28):
far too overwhelming for us.
And so what happens is that wedon't take the action that we
need to, and instead of doingthat, we ultimately cause our
true downfall in our business.
And so the reality is that, formany of us is, uncertainty
shouldn't ruin us, but it shouldbe give us the ability to
handle what's going on.
(07:49):
And so let's talk about whatthose costs are.
Right, we were in these moments.
And so when we avoid dealingwith our uncertainty, it leads
to stagnation.
Just finished chatting aboutthat, right?
And so when we have this, weavoid doing anything for
personal growth, we avoid takingthat next step, and even if
it's the smallest and simplestthing and so we still what
(08:12):
happens is we just stay in ourcomfort zone.
It's where we want to feel safe.
Think of your comfort zone.
Is maybe in a moment of highstress and this uncertainty.
It's like standing on a teatowel.
It's not very big, is it?
It's just barely enough to putyour two feet on it and you
don't really want to stepoutside of it.
But I guarantee you that themore that we stay in this, we're
(08:33):
going to remain stuck, andwhile we're doing that, the
world and everything around usis going to move forward.
And so, whether it's staying ina dead end job that you're not
happy with, or you're avoidingthose tough and challenging
conversations you need to havewhen you're with your family, or
you're just refusing to takeany calculated risk, the cost of
avoiding doing any of those islong-term.
(08:55):
In the long run it's going tobe regret, and that's a far
heavier weight to carry than itis to face what we need to face.
So we're really talking abouthere about the difference
between short-term comfort andlong-term regret, and so, for
most of us, the trade orpotential for temporary security
.
But the problem is that morethat we, the more that we avoid
(09:17):
this uncertainty, the lesscapable we become at handling it
when, inevitably, is going tocome our way.
And so again, think about that,the decisions in your life, the
times when you've avoided maybeit was asking for a raise or
you're starting a business andyou're concerned and fear of
rejection, and maybe beinguncomfortable and maybe being
(09:38):
too uncomfortable right now.
But if you think about it andyou took a little bit of action,
five years down the road youcould be stuck in the same place
and still haven't taken anyaction.
Just think about the regretthat piles on.
And so here's the uncomfortabletruth that certainty is a myth.
There's no amount ofpreparation that's going to
(10:01):
eliminate uncertainty entirely.
We're always going to have some.
The key isn't to chaseuncertainty, it's to become so
mentally and emotionally strongthat uncertainty doesn't shake
us when I think of Tony Robbinsand a quote that he has, and he
says the quality of your life isin direct proportion to the
amount of uncertainty you cancomfortably live with.
(10:21):
Think about that for a momentthe quality of our life is in
direct proportion to the amountof uncertainty that we can
comfortably live with.
It's pretty powerful, if youask me.
So how do we stay grounded inuncertainty If we already
recognize that uncertainty isinevitable?
(10:42):
The only way forward is todevelop tools and to help us
navigate through this, thesemoments of uncertainty, with
confidence.
And so the difference betweenthose of men who thrive under
uncertainty and those whocrumble, it's going to be their
ability to shift their mindset,to develop really strong mental
habits and to take control oftheir, of their focus.
(11:02):
And so we're going to start by.
The first strategy and tool I'mgoing to offer for you is just a
reframe, and reframing is thatuncertainty as an opportunity.
Uncertainty is not going to bethe enemy, it's going to be a
gateway, the pathway forward forgrowth.
And so every time that we'refaced with a challenge for us to
overcome, it's going to startwith uncertainty, isn't it?
(11:25):
We're stepping into unknown.
So, instead of seeing thisuncertainty as a threat, we're
going to train ourselves to seeit as man.
Here's an opportunity for me toevolve and to grow, and so
those, those that choose to takethat aren't the ones who are
going to avoid uncertaintyaltogether, but they're going to
be the ones who are going tostep in it head-on and they're
going to extract whatever lessonthey can from that experience.
(11:49):
So then we're going to the nextpiece we're going to look at is
we're going to shift from whatif I fail?
To a different conversation.
In our mind, it says what ifthis is the best thing that has
ever happened to me?
Instead of focusing on what'sgoing to go wrong, obviously,
let's start visualizing what cango right.
Our subconscious mind is prettypowerful and it's going to
(12:10):
respond to any question thatwe're going to ask it.
So, if you're going to ask it,what is it?
What if this goes wrong?
Guess what you're going to findout?
You're going to find out allthe reasons, how it's going to
go wrong.
Maybe that's a great mitigationstrategy and a small step to
take, but I challenge you if youflip that question around and
start to ask your brain aboutwhat are the solutions instead
(12:32):
of the problem that you're facedwith, you're going to have a
much more empowering answersthat are going to come forward,
and so, again, we'll go back tothe idea of being entrepreneurs.
This is something that many ofus strive to do and to become,
and so if two business ownersare faced in an economic
downturn and one panics, cutsback and starts to play defense,
(12:54):
and the other one chooses tosee this as a disruption, as a
chance to pivot, so they beginto innovate and they gain, and
then they start to takeadvantage, while others are
going to be retreating.
Who would you rather be, thefirst business owner or the
second business owner?
Because I offer for yourconsideration that first
business owner is probably goingto have a collapsing business,
(13:17):
and the other business owner isgoing to have an opportunity to
build a thriving business.
So, in order to get there, weneed to build some mental
toughness, and so what are somethings that we can do throughout
the day to help us truly buildmental resilience and mental
toughness?
And so it isn't right when wethink about resilience is
(13:39):
resilience isn't built in crisis.
It's going to be trained daily.
So we can't wait for shit tohappen.
We have to be trainingourselves on every given moment
and every given day, and so wedon't develop our emotional and
mental strength when uncertaintyhits.
You develop it in the monthsand the years leading up to it,
and so think about it.
It's just like going to the gymand practicing.
(14:02):
Mental toughness is built onconsistent training and exposing
ourselves to controlleddiscomfort.
So how are, how do we do that?
What are some key practicesthat we can consider to
implement in our lives to helpbuild mental toughness?
The first one that I justmentioned it was physical
discipline.
It's everything from coldshowers to weightlifting to
(14:23):
endurance training to push usbeyond our mental barriers, and
when we can do that, then westart to strengthen who we are,
because no longer are weallowing our ego mind to dictate
who we are.
Mindfulness, and that controlledbreathing exercises One of the
things that we're seeing moreand more, and I'm seeing
especially more and more indoing men's work is really
(14:45):
helping men understand and getinto their bodies and recognize
what's happening and how.
Again, we talked a littleearlier in today's episode about
how's your breathing?
Have you slowed down yourbreathing?
Have you been able to be incontrol of that part of that
process?
What kind of mindfulnesspractice?
Do you have to stop to meditate, to journal, to do any of these
(15:05):
things?
When you start to do thesepractices and have some a bit of
self-reflection, it's going tohelp us process this uncertainty
that's sitting in our minds andin our lives, and then that's
how we're going to extract andpull all the lessons that's
happening, instead of having usreact emotionally to this, to
(15:26):
what's happening around us.
And so I always like the ideaof the image of a boxer who's
thinking about it.
Okay, he's going to get readyto go into his big boxing match,
but instead of start training,he just waits because he
imagines that he's just nevergoing to be ready.
And so when you think aboutthat, if you were going to get
(15:46):
into a training, into a boxingmatch, you'd start training
today, wouldn't you?
And see?
But most resilient men, they'regoing to train daily, and so
they get prepared for whatevercomes their way.
And you can do that too if youconsider yourself the boxer in
your life, and being preparedand practicing and training
every day gets you ready forwhen the moment comes that you
(16:08):
need to step into that ring.
So the next thing I want you toconsider is what are the things
that you can control and thenjust let go of the rest.
Most of our anxiety is going tocome from trying to control the
uncontrollable.
And so when you can't controlthings like the economy, other
people's opinions, anyunforeseen challenges, those are
(16:31):
the things that are going todrive you up the wall and those
are the things that are going tomake life difficult.
But when you stop to thinkabout what you are in control,
in any situation, you're incontrol of your mindset, you're
in control of how you prepareand you're in control of how you
respond, and so the more thatwe focus on the things that are
outside of our control, the morechallenges we're going to have.
(16:52):
They call that have an externallocus of control, right, and
instead we want to focus on theinternal locus of control, all
the things that I'm able tohandle, and even going into
understanding and payingattention to our body's
reactions.
And so what does thiscontrollable formula look like?
So I'm going to give you alittle formula to help you
(17:14):
really put this together.
So you're going to think aboutwhat can you control?
Okay, I can control my workethic.
I can control my emotionalstate.
I can control my ability toadapt.
What can't I control?
I can't control the past, Ican't control other people's
reactions and I can't controlthe future.
So when I start to shift myfocus entirely from that first
(17:35):
list, then I can free myselffrom making the necessary
changes that I need to in mylife.
And so I want to talk, tell youa little bit of story about a
gentleman.
His name's James, and James hasalways been a man with a plan
and he's had a steady career.
He's got a growing family and aclear trajectory for success.
But one Monday morningeverything changed for James.
(17:57):
His company had announcedmassive layoffs and he was one
of them.
And just like that, the job hehad poured years of effort into
was gone.
There's no warning, no backupplan.
Job he had poured years ofeffort into was gone.
There's no warning, no backupplan, just a severance check and
an empty calendar.
As he walked out of the officewith the box of his belongings,
his mind raced with questionswhat now?
How will I provide for myfamily?
(18:18):
Am I even good enough to startover?
And his stomach tightened, ofcourse, with anxiety and the
cold sweat formed on his brow.
And he had spent his whole lifebelieving that hard work
created security.
But now James was faced withthe unknown and he felt
completely powerless.
And so, the first time in years, james is standing in an
(18:39):
uncertain ground, and he had noidea what to do next.
So soon those days turned intoweeks and the uncertainty
consumed him.
And his morning routine, oncebuilt upon the purpose and
structure, now felt meaningless.
And so he stopped waking upearly, his workouts became
inconsistent, and every jobapplication he submitted felt
like a desperate attempt toregain control.
(19:01):
And the rejection emailsstarted to pile up, each one
another punch to his alreadyfragile confidence and ego.
And so he withdrew from hiswife and his kids and, not
wanting them to see the fearbehind his eyes and it might be
staring at the sin at night,he'd sit there, just stare at
the ceiling, haunted by thoughtsof failure.
(19:22):
But as with anything in life,there comes a moment that
everything changed.
And then, one evening, whilesitting in the dark, strolling
in the mindlessly through hisphone, he came across a quote so
the quality of your life is indirect proportion to the amount
of uncertainty you arecomfortable to live with.
Isn't that an interesting quote, my friends?
And he read it again and again,and it was as if the words were
(19:43):
speaking directly to him.
And for weeks he had beentrying to escape uncertainty,
waiting for the feeling ofstability to come back.
But what if it wasn't theanswer?
And what if certainty was nevergoing to come?
And the only way forward wasfor James to embrace the unknown
.
So James realized that the menhe admired most, those business
(20:06):
leaders, the athletes, thewarriors, they didn't avoid
uncertainty, they thrived in it.
They didn't wait for clarity toact, they just acted despite of
having any clarity.
And he had been lacking andreally looking at what the
uncertainty as this enemy to hislife.
But what if the very thingwould make him much, much
(20:28):
stronger?
And so that night James made adecision he was going to stop
reacting to uncertainty and he'sgoing to start preparing.
And he couldn't control the jobmarket, but he could control
how he approached it.
And so he continued.
He couldn't guarantee hisimmediate success, but he could
guarantee that he would bementally and physically ready
for whatever came next.
(20:49):
And so he went back to settinghis alarm for 5am and he
committed to rebuilding himselfinside out.
He started journaling everymorning, writing out his fears
and countering them with hisactions.
So slowly, james started torebuild his morning workout
routine, and not for hisphysical health alone, but to
(21:10):
train his mind for discipline.
He applied for jobs with adifferent mindset, one of
abundance instead of scarcity.
He stopped seeing the rejectionas failure and started seeing
it as feedback.
Every no was just another steptoward the right yes.
And his wife noticed the change.
First she said you seemdifferent, james.
(21:30):
She said one morning overcoffee, and as he heard that,
the man that once led anuncertain life and was truly
paralyzing he, was now facing itwith confidence.
And it's not because theuncertainty had disappeared but
because he had developed theresilience to handle it.
And so it took about six monthsand James was not just
(21:51):
surviving but he was thriving,and he had landed a new job, and
one that was a better alignedto his long-term goals.
But the real transformationwasn't his career, it was truly
in his mindset.
He was no longer driven for theneed for external stability and
he had created stability withinhimself.
And James understood thecertainty was truly an illusion,
(22:12):
and true confidence came fromhis ability to navigate the
unknown.
And so, as he was sitting athome one evening and he was
playing catch with the sun inthe backyard, he realized
something incredibly powerfulHis children weren't watching
how he handled success.
They were watching how hehandled adversity, and for the
(22:33):
first time in his life, he felthe was setting the right example
.
Now, because James learned thatuncertainty wasn't the enemy,
it was his greatest teacher, andbecause of that, he would never
fear the unknown again.
And so uncertainty is going tobe inevitable.
That feeling lost, anxious orreactive doesn't have to be in
the strongest manner.
(22:53):
The ones that are going toeliminate are really going to be
the ones eliminate uncertainty.
They're the ones who mastertheir ability to navigate it.
So following practicalstrategies is going to give you
this battle-tested framework tohelp you stay grounded, focused
and resilient no matter whatchallenges come your way.
(23:14):
So let's practice some radicalacceptance as our first
battle-tested strategy.
And so why is that important?
It's important because most ofus waste our energy resisting
uncertainty and so trying tocontrol our outcomes,
overanalyzing worst casescenarios or just waiting for
this perfect moment to act.
(23:36):
This is going to only lead tofrustration and paralysis.
We know that.
We've talked about that atlength today.
And so radical acceptance meansfor us to fully accept that
uncertainty is going to be apart of life.
It is what life is all aboutand that fighting it is only
going to make it worse.
And so, once we stop resisting,we can free up this extra
energy now to focus on whatactually we can control.
(23:59):
And so, whenever you findyourself feeling anxious about
the unknown, just want you topause for a moment and ask About
the unknown.
I just want you to pause for amoment and ask am I focusing on
something I can control or am Iresisting reality?
And then write down what'soutside of your control and then
just start crossing it off andthen redirect your focus to the
actions within your own power.
(24:20):
We're going to train our mindsnow, for this radical acceptance
is that I may not control thesituation, but I can control how
I respond.
And so and think about if Ijust had, if I'm, if I continue
to think that I'm just having towork harder so I can eliminate
(24:41):
uncertainty.
We already know we're going tobe in the same position that
James is in, right, and so thereisn't going to be any amount of
planning that's going to removeuncertainty.
It's learning to be able toadapt for real power.
And so I'm not saying to notplan, saying yes, make your plan
.
There's still going to beuncertainty as you execute it.
Stay focused on executing it,and then we're going to move the
(25:01):
second part of thisbattle-tested plan and that's
control what you can framework.
And so it's important becauseanxiety and overwhelm can come
from just focusing on thesethings that have been outside of
our control all these years.
And whether we've talked aboutthat being the economy, other
people, any potential futureoutcomes, even the past, the
most grounded of us are going todraw a hard line between what
(25:24):
we can influence and what wecan't, and so, instead of
wasting time on uncertainty,we're going to double down on
really focusing on our personalpower.
And again, you're going to makea couple of lists here, one of
the things that you can controland one that you can't, and so
commit to only taking action onour first list.
So, going back to that radicalacceptance, we're going to stay
(25:45):
focused on that list.
And what is?
The ones that we can, and ifI'm focusing on what I can, what
I can't control, then I knowthat I'm in the wrong mindset
and I can focus over to thisother list.
And this list can continue togrow, and I suggest that you
keep that because, as everydoubt or every uncertainty comes
into your life, other thingsthat you can control and are out
(26:07):
of your control are going toshow up.
You're going to start to see abit of a pattern, thinking about
worrying about layoffs that wejust talked about.
James he can't really controlcompany's decisions, but he can
control how he can build somenew skills right, he can network
and he can create multiplestreams of income, so he's not
solely reliant on one aspect ofit.
(26:27):
But when we focus on trying tocontrol those external factors,
set up control and controllingour mindset and our habits and
our resilience and we're goingto have a hard time, aren't we?
And so here's a quick win foryou Before going to bed, list
three actions that you took thatfocused you on what you can
control, and the reason why Iwant you to do this is going to
(26:47):
help you reinforce the righthabit.
And let's go to the third part.
We're going to talk aboutestablishing some non-negotiable
routines.
Why is that important?
Because uncertainty justcreates mental chaos, doesn't?
It Just has us thinking in alldifferent directions and we can
get pretty scattered.
But a strong daily structurekeeps us grounded, and so
(27:09):
routine gives us the sense ofstability and even when
everything else is going to beunstable if we have a routine
that we can stick to.
It's going to help us feel thatwe have some control over
what's happening with us.
And so high performing athletesmen, women, anyone who's really
high performer is going to havea morning routine routine.
(27:30):
They're going to have rituals,training and discipline as their
key anchors to help themsuccess and really develop
success in their life.
And so start your morning withan intention, instead of just
reacting to what the day isabout to bring and then really
lock in some form of a physicalpractice.
It could be weightlifting, itcould be running, it could be
(27:52):
stretching.
Your body and your mind needsto be conditioned together.
And so, as we, you know,convince ourselves and we get
ourselves out of bed in themorning, we start to do things.
The more that we do that westart to build resistance.
Everything starts with one in arow, so we'll get your one in a
row started, and most mistakesmost men I can see that when
(28:13):
they we talk about this stuff isthat they're really going to
let stress dictate what theirschedule is going to look like,
instead of really havingthemselves dictate what the
schedule should be.
And so it's a key nuance for usto pay attention to on who's
really dictating that schedule.
Are we allowing stress to dothat for us, or are we taking
control of it?
And so design a morning powerhour, an hour of time where
(28:36):
you're spending with yourselfdoing things.
It could include 15, 20 minutesof meditation, 15, 20 minutes
to stretching, maybe it's 15, 20minutes of journaling or going
for a walk.
Anything but developing a powerhour that's truly for yourself
is a great way to get yourselfset up.
And so, then, the next stepwe're going to talk about is
(28:58):
really training our mind fordiscomfort, because if we only
practice mental strengthstrength when life is going to
be easy and we're not going tohave it when we need it the most
and so men who are comfortablewith discomfort, they can
navigate uncertainty better thanthose who avoid it.
And so controlled, controlledstress, so things like cold
(29:18):
exposure really popular todaynow is doing the cold plunge,
fasting.
That's something that I've beenpracticing here over the last
three weeks endurance training.
This, these types of practiceshelp build real resistance or
resilience for ourselves, and soI just talked about the cold
showers or some hard physicalchallenge I personally have
really started to really fall inlove with fasting and doing an
(29:42):
18-hour fast and I work my wayup to 20 hours here and just
getting into a routine andhaving that be a consistent part
of your lifestyle really helpsbuild some resilience in your
life.
And so a quick win here, a quickway to take, take some action,
is tomorrow morning, have thecold shower.
Do your maybe start your showeras you normally do, but finish
(30:05):
it with a minute or two of coldwater, so you can help feel that
resistance and you can breathethrough it.
It'd be a great way to startreally building a mental focus,
and we can also look at howwe're going to reframe
uncertainty as a test truly ofwho we are as our character,
(30:33):
because uncertainty reallyreveals character to us, but we
have an opportunity to developit and to shape it, and so when
we see uncertainty as a threat,then it's really going to show
up on how we respond, and seeingevery challenge as an
opportunity is a way for us toimprove or to prove to ourselves
who we truly are.
And so maybe there are someways, some things that you're,
the ways you're reacting today,that just you're not thrilled
about.
(30:53):
It's an opportunity for you toadjust and change that to really
shape and hone, develop thatcharacter.
And so, the next time you'refacing uncertainty, I'm going to
have you ask yourself thisquestion how would the strongest
version of myself handle thiswhen you ask yourself that it's
going to really change the wayyou're approaching it?
(31:14):
And so, instead of focusing onthe outcome, you're going to
focus truly on your ability, theskill to navigate the process,
because that's where real changeis.
It isn't in the outcome, it'sthat journey to that outcome.
And so start keeping track ofmoments in your life when you've
stepped into uncertainty andthrived.
You're going to see that yourconfidence is going to grow.
(31:34):
And so most of us are going toseek uncertainty as something to
avoid instead of seeingsomething that we can master.
And I guarantee you that, asyou start to practice and
implement some of these, you'regoing to see that you're
mastering it.
And so the next time you'refaced with an unknown and ask
yourself just ask yourself thisquestion why is this proof?
(31:54):
This is my proving ground.
Let me say that again the nexttime you face an unknown, say to
yourself this is my provingground, and then I want you to
take action.
There's one thing I want you totake away from today's episode,
it's this is that uncertaintyis not your enemy, it's your
proving ground.
The men who thrive in life andbusiness and in the
(32:17):
relationships aren't the oneswho avoid uncertainty, but the
ones who learn to stand firm inthe chaos and to make decisions
when others hesitate, and totake control of what they can
while letting go of what theycan't.
And so we talked about somemyths that keep us paralyzed,
the strategies that buildresilience and then mind shifts
that turn uncertainty into anopportunity.
(32:39):
So now it's time to put it intoaction.
So what are you resisting rightnow?
What situation have you beenavoiding?
Because you're waiting forcertainty.
Your challenge today is simpleYou're going to step into the
unknown with intention.
You're going to apply one ofthe strategies in this episode
and commit to acting despite theuncertainty in your life.
(32:59):
And if you're ready to takethis even further, if you're
serious about becoming the manwho leads with clarity and
confidence, no matter what lifethrows at us, then I have a
challenge for you as well.
I call it the integritychallenge.
This isn't just anotherself-help exercise.
It's a battle-tested frameworkthat's designed to help you
align your actions with yourvalues, develop rock-solid
(33:22):
resilience and become a man whothrives under pressure.
So if you're tired ofhesitation, self-doubt, playing
it small, then this is going tobe your next step.
I want you to go tomemberstheawakenedmannet and
start the integrity challengetoday.
It's free, it's powerful and itwill change the way you
(33:43):
approach every challenge in yourlife.
And so the strongest men don'twait.
They're going to decide, theyact, they lead.
So step up, take the challengeand start building the man you
were meant to be.
I want to thank you so much forjoining me on today's episode
of the Revolutionary man Podcast, and I can't wait to see meant
to be.
I want to thank you so much forjoining me on today's episode
of the Revolutionary man Podcast, and I can't wait to see you
next time.
Until then, stay strong, staygrounded, keep leading with
(34:05):
purpose.
Aho, my brothers, thank you forlistening to the Revolutionary
man Podcast.
Speaker 2 (34:12):
Are you ready to own your destiny, to become more the
man you were destined to be?
Your destiny, to become morethe man you are destined to be?
Join the brotherhood that isthe awakened man at
theawakendmannet and startforging a new destiny today.
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