August 12, 2025 • 47 mins
What if the only thing standing between you and the life you want is the image you hold of yourself?
In this episode, I’m revealing the one thing that’s quietly shaping your confidence, your income, your relationships, and even your joy, your self-image. And no, I don’t mean how you look in the mirror. I’m talking about the mental portrait of who you believe yourself to be.
When your self-image is stuck in survival mode, no to-do list will fix it. But when you upgrade your internal identity, from the inside out, everything begins to shift. In this episode, I’m sharing the exact identity-level process I use (and live myself), called the Inner Glow and Outer Shine Framework - a heart-led guide to becoming the favorite version of you.
✔️ The hidden thermostat that’s keeping your self-worth and income stuck (and how to raise the setting)
✔️ Why "faking it till you make it" doesn't work, and what to do instead
✔️ The 3 identity-level steps to start embodying the woman you’re becoming now
This episode is vulnerable, magnetic, and meant to activate something in you. Whether you’re carrying old stories, hiding behind past survival patterns, or just craving a next-level version of life, this one is for you.
You don’t have to earn your way into your next chapter, you get to choose her today. And I’ll show you how.
⭐ Subscribe and listen now, and if this episode resonates, share it with a woman you love. Let’s rise together.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Rise to Shine podcast with Noel Custis where
we ignite the spark to discover your favorite self.
It is time to get real ladies. Hey friend, welcome back to the
Rise to Shine podcast. I'm your host, Noel Custis, and
(00:21):
can I just pause for a second and say thank you?
Because of you, this show is nowranked in the top 5% of podcasts
globally, and we are setting oursights on the top 2.5%.
That means more women rising, more lives shifting, and more
(00:47):
stories being rewritten in real time.
And today, we're going to be diving into something deeply
personal. And honestly, I believe this is
transformational and that is self-image.
Not, and this is what I want to make really clear.
(01:09):
This isn't all about the appearance kind.
I want to make that, you know, super clear.
I'm talking about this real mental portrait you carry of who
you believe you are, who you believe that you are.
The image that is going to slightly, I shouldn't even say
(01:33):
slightly, I should say it quietly shapes your choices.
It shapes your confidence, yourself, identity, shapes your
income. And I believe it can even shape
your joy even when you don't realize it.
(01:54):
And that's why I felt like this was such an important topic to
talk about right here on the podcast.
So if you've ever looked in the mirror and thought there's more
in me than what I actually see right now, that's where I want
(02:15):
you to know you're also not alone.
And this episode is going to be for you.
Because the truth is, you can only rise as far as you see
yourself going. You can only rise as far as you
see yourself going. And then when you start seeing
(02:37):
yourself clearly, everything begins to change.
So let's first talk about what self-image really is, OK?
Because I don't think that we intentionally think about that.
(02:57):
And again, it's not about how you look in the mirror.
It's that invisible thermostat, OK?
So I want you to imagine this. It's this invisible thermostat
that sets the tone for your entire life.
And it is that quiet story behind every decision that you
(03:18):
make, OK? It's that story.
It's what you believe you deserve or you don't deserve.
It's what you think you're capable of, what kind of love
that you accept in your life, what kind of money you receive.
These are just some of what our self identity says to us, some
(03:42):
of what that is and what that deeper meaning is.
It's also how you walk into a room or how you hold yourself
back from even entering a room. That all has to do, believe it
or not, with self identity and most of us, especially as women,
never realize that this is actually running the show.
(04:05):
And that is what I find so fascinating.
We. Just think that we're stuck.
We think that we lack motivation, we think that we
need more discipline or more willpower, but that is not it.
We're just living out the story that we've been told or the ones
(04:28):
that we have told ourselves because man, are we good at
that. And another important thing to
remember is that most of us didn't choose that story
consciously. It was shaped by things we were
told when we were growing up. So were you someone that was
(04:50):
told you're the shy one? I was always told, oh, you're
built just like your mom. Anybody ever heard that?
What about we're not the type ofpeople who and then just fill in
the blank. That is what starts to shape our
story. Also, what shapes our story is
(05:12):
the trauma that we've survived. That can be a shaper.
Maybe it's society's expectations of what a woman
should be. And I put that in quotation
marks should be. And the roles that we've played,
especially as moms, as partners,as a daughter, these are roles
(05:33):
that we have played and taken on.
And that too starts to shape ourstory.
And the truth is this, your lifeis actually reflecting back the
image that you've been holding, not the woman that you were
created to be, but the one you've settled into based on
(05:57):
your past. But here is the good news in all
of this, because I don't want tobe the Debbie Downer here.
I want you to hear this with my whole entire heart.
You're not stuck with the self-image of your past.
You're not broken. You're not too late to change or
(06:21):
to shift that story or those stories.
And here's the best part. Yourself image can evolve and
when it does, everything else starts to follow and that is
what I get so excited about. That's what I have witnessed
with myself. I've witnessed with my clients,
(06:43):
even family members. As a matter of fact, I just
recorded a podcast earlier todaywith a guest who is fire and she
literally like started to evolveherself with herself image about
10 years ago. And then in the last five years,
she's really started to hone in on herself image.
(07:06):
And then in the last year, Oh mygosh, she's like a completely
different person. And she is a middle-aged woman.
Because this whole idea isn't about fixing yourself.
This is about remembering who you've always been underneath
(07:26):
all of the noise. Like before all the stories
started to build up, this is whoyou've always been.
And I don't believe, in my opinion, no one is meant to be
small and quiet or overlooked. I believe that we are created
(07:48):
for impact. We're created for joy.
We're created for expansion in our own unique, beautiful way.
And that can look different for all of us.
That's what's beautiful about life.
And when your inner image startsto catch up with your truth,
(08:09):
that's when, again, it all begins to shift.
So I want to, you know, define this because I feel like it can
be confused. I don't want to say that this is
about necessarily reinvention. I really have started to
recognize that this is more about a coming home to you.
(08:33):
It's really coming home to the truest version of you.
And in the Glow Up school, we have been talking about this and
we call this beautiful process, your inner glow and your outer
shine. It's kind of the full spectrum
of a glow up from the inside out.
(08:54):
So we're going to talk about that framework.
We're going to talk about the inner glow.
We're going to talk about the outer shine.
And in the Glow Up school, we are really embracing this
because when both of these are aligned, that's when the real
change, it starts to happen in your life.
(09:17):
And that's when it's not just this temporary change, but it
becomes your identity level. It becomes self identity.
So I want to kind of break that down 1st and talk about the
inner glow. So when I'm referring to the
inner glow, this is your root system.
(09:38):
I want you to think about that as the root.
It's the beliefs you hold about who you are.
It is the safety your nervous system feels when you take up
space, when you receive support from someone, or even when you
are allowing yourself to ask formore.
(10:02):
OK, Your inner glow becomes thatsubconscious programming.
It becomes that emotional baseline.
And really, it becomes your relationship with trust.
And that's going to be trust in yourself.
It's going to be trust in your voice, in your intuition.
(10:22):
And the thing about your inner glow is you can't fake it.
You can't white knuckle your wayto confidence or force peace
into a dysregulated body, a dysregulated nervous system.
I used to have these thoughts. OK, So again, want you to just,
(10:43):
if you hear yourself in any of these, gosh, always feel free to
let me know because I love to hear your feedback.
But I used to think if I just worked harder, if I just got
more organized, if I just followed the right plan.
But the thing was, is that no matter how many to do lists that
(11:06):
I made, I felt disconnected frommyself because my identity
hadn't shifted yet. When I was saying all of those
things, I hadn't shifted yet. My nervous system was still
operating in survival mode. It was coming from survival and
(11:30):
it is a process. It is still a process.
It is a journey. I can still fall back into that,
especially when I start to listen to those old stories.
And here's the thing, that innerwiring always overrides your
outer effort. OK, I want you to hear that
(11:53):
again. Your inner wiring, so that
subconscious always overrides your outer effort.
So I want you to try this. Start noticing, start noticing
your default thoughts. What are those thoughts that
come to your mind right away? Those are your default thoughts.
So when you walk past a mirror, what's the very first thing you
(12:17):
think? And don't sugarcoat it.
I want you to really pay attention to this.
When someone compliments you, I want you to think about what
does your body do? What does your body do?
How does it make you feel? Do you shrivel up?
Do you like puff up? You think thank you.
Are you someone that's easily able to say thank you, or are
you someone that shrinks down? These are entry points into
(12:41):
yourself image. And I'll tell you that the inner
glow is where the healing startsto begin, because this is where
you start to remember who you are.
Before you became a mom, before you started taking on the roles,
before all the noise, before allthe pressure that was already
(13:06):
there, That inner glow starts tocome back and starts to heal.
I want you to think about yourself as a little girl.
So that's why I always love looking at a picture of myself
when I was little, because that's where that inner glow for
me starts to recognize like how much I loved her, how much I
(13:30):
can, I can look at her and compliment her and talk so
kindly to her. Because it was before all the
stories, before all the noise and before the pressure.
Now the outer shine, this is theexpression of your glow.
So it's kind of like thinking about yourself image and how it
moves through the world, OK. And it shows up in the ways that
(13:52):
we speak. It shows up in the ways that we
dress, the way that you move. It also shows up in boundaries
that you set or you do not set. And it shows up in the decisions
that you no longer put off. You don't delay them anymore.
And the outer shine does not mean perfection.
(14:15):
I really want you to hear me in that It does not mean
perfection. It just means alignment.
It means that you're aligned. Your habits, your energy and
your presence start to reflect your upgraded self-image.
So I want you to, I want to giveyou an example of this.
(14:35):
I remember this day I wore a dress that I had been, well,
we'll just say I had been saving.
You know, it was that that dressthat you're like, it's a little
too nice for just running errands.
But like, I'm not really sure when I'm going to wear it.
I'll probably just wear it for aspecial event to justify wearing
(14:56):
it, right? But one day I woke up and I was
like, OK, I love this dress. It's so cute.
Why do I keep putting it off? Who am I waiting for?
What? What am I waiting for?
So I literally just put it on that morning.
I was like, I'm going to put it on.
(15:17):
I feel like curling my hair. I want to, you know, put on some
makeup because I don't always wear makeup.
And it wasn't a special occasion, but I was like, you
know what? I am becoming a woman who feels
like I want my days to feel special when I go out and about.
(15:42):
I want those days to sometimes feel special.
And so I was like, well, what can I do in this dress?
And I decided I'm going to go get some coffee.
So I did. I went to a cute little coffee
shop and the coffee wasn't any kind of celebration, but what it
(16:04):
reminded me of is that I got to celebrate because of me.
And that is what I mean by like feeling like her, your favorite
self. Wearing that dress helped me to
feel like the favorite version of myself and going and having
(16:25):
coffee in it and, and, and please no, this isn't like some
semi formal dress or anything like that.
It was just like an extra cute, super cute dress that you, you
know, it's like that in between like you think you have to have
a special occasion for. But I was like, you know what,
I'm going to start stepping intothe energy of the woman that I'm
(16:46):
becoming today. I'm not going to wait for the
special occasion. I'm not going to wait for
tomorrow because otherwise this dress is going to continue to
sit in my closet. And I was like, I'm tired of
waiting. How many of you have clothes in
your closet that you're waiting to lose just a couple more
(17:08):
pounds for? I mean, I, I don't know, this
comes up a lot with my clients that talk about and my friends
and my family. I mean, it, it seems like it's a
running theme. It's like, oh, I have all these
clothes in my closet, but I'm going to wait and wear them and
I just lose a little bit more weight.
(17:30):
And it's not because they don't fit you now.
It's just because you think you need to do that.
That's the story. So having the outer glow is
literally choosing to embody herright now, to walk in her energy
right now, to treat yourself with the same presence and the
(17:51):
same joy and the same respect that she would, who you imagine
as your favorite self. Step into it now.
Even if it's just for a coffee, little coffee run.
Sit there having coffee. And if I'm being super honest
(18:12):
with you, I'm having to live this in real time right now
because I'm working on a projectthat has me completely exposed.
Like big time, raw and real. It is stretching me in ways I
did not expect. I had a feeling it may but not
to this extreme. And it's bringing up a lot of
(18:33):
insecurities I thought I had already outgrown.
And This is why. This is a journey.
But that's what's so great aboutself-image is that it can
constantly evolve. It doesn't stop once you get
there. We don't just get there, and
that's how we are forever. This work.
(18:54):
Literally invites you again and again to tap into the next layer
of her, even when that fear creeps in.
Even when your old identity tries to pull you back.
And that, my friend, is the giftyou get to become more of who
(19:15):
you truly are. One day at a time, one decision
at a time. And sometimes you have to be
Uber brave about it. And let me tell you, I didn't
always have a really powerful self-image.
I mean, I still, like I said, I'm still doing the work in real
(19:37):
time right now. But if you know even a little
piece of my story, you know I'vewalked through it.
I've been through a. Lot of loss.
I've been through divorces personally with my own
ex-spouse, but also I went through divorce as a child.
I've been through abuse, I've been through single motherhood,
(20:01):
I've been through blended families.
I mean, I've done the thing. And there was a chapter in my
life where I didn't recognize myself in the mirror.
I let's put it this way. I had built an identity around
being the strong one. I built it around being the
(20:23):
giver, the helper, the woman whoalways found a way, always found
a way, figured it out. And while I don't regret that
part of me, I have to tell you it was literally 90% of the time
it was survival. And what I didn't know was that
(20:46):
I had slowly lost sight of the woman inside of me.
I had lost sight of her and I didn't even realize how little
space I. Had given.
Myself for things like loving myself completely and fully,
being brave and how I showed up.I didn't give myself space for
(21:08):
that. Speaking kindly to the
reflection in the mirror. Oh my gosh, I, my gosh, you
guys, it is. If you heard.
What was going on in my head? It was so sad.
I would. Never want any person to talk to
(21:30):
themselves that way. I didn't hold.
Space for owning my body. My voice.
My presence. Sometimes I felt even shameful
of my presence in certain situations.
And I definitely, definitely didnot let myself take up space in
(21:55):
business, not even much in teaching.
And this is probably why I lovedbeing a teacher because I could
do that by myself with my students and I could be more me.
But when it came to being with my colleagues, I definitely got.
I let everybody else be the experts because I didn't allow
(22:17):
myself to show up thinking I knew what I was talking about.
Sometimes with my closest colleagues I would.
Be that way. But I felt like I, I, you know,
we'd go into staff meetings and I definitely struggled.
And then if I did show up too much, then I felt like I always
(22:39):
needed to apologize for that. So I'm.
Not sure if this is resonating with anyone of you that are
listening. But I have a.
Feeling it probably is. And.
What hurt the most through this process is.
(23:02):
Not that. Others didn't see me if whether
they did or they didn't, becauseagain, we tell ourselves our own
stories, right? So maybe they did see me, but I
felt like they didn't. But what hurt the most when I
was doing this work and really like recognizing this in myself
that I wasn't seeing me, that I was.
(23:26):
Trying to bury. Myself, and that is when I came
to that. I felt like it broke me wide
open and there was actually a grief around it because I felt
like I have this grief around the years that I spent proving
my worth. Instead of just.
(23:47):
Standing in it. And.
There was also grief in how I carried other people's
expectations while just being quiet.
And I just. Silenced myself in a lot of ways
and people who knew me then, andmaybe I'm not as close to now,
or maybe just knew me as like, you know, a what do I want to
(24:13):
say? Not as like a good friend, but
someone that is like an acquaintance.
Maybe they see it. Completely different, but we all
have our own perspective. And I carry that grief.
But what is beautiful about thatis that that grief led me to
(24:34):
some real work of getting like super honest with myself and not
just healing what had happened, but reimagining who I got to be
now. And I started shifting myself
image from the inside out. Because what I started.
To do is I started to choose andwe all get a right to choose.
(24:57):
Instead of punishing myself and punishing my thoughts and
punishing my body, I started to soften a little bit.
It started it. It was a.
Slow process again, not easy. But I, I.
Discovered the softness. I practice being kind to myself
when no one was watching. I.
(25:21):
Allowed my body and this is still, you know, I'm telling
you, this is like the hardest thing for me.
Is allowing. My body to be beautiful as is,
even if it's a work in progress.I wasn't.
Always waiting for that goal to be hit because that is how I've
spent my entire life. You guys.
(25:45):
Dieting culture started when I was little, like young, and one
of my biggest things that I struggled with in myself
identity was being chosen and not being chosen.
Part of my. Story is always feeling like I
(26:05):
was second best. I never felt like I was ever
number one. It was always the second best
whether it be like if. You know, a couple of.
Us girls liked a boy. I was the second choice.
If I, you know, sometimes like going for a job, I was the
second choice. I certainly.
(26:27):
Wouldn't run for president of ASB because, Oh my gosh, no way.
I, there's always going to be people that are better than me.
So I'm going to run for vice president.
I'm going to run for secretary or treasurer.
And sometimes that didn't even work out.
And I was the best, I was the second best, right?
Trying out for cheerleading my first year just didn't quite
make it. Didn't quite make the varsity
(26:50):
team the next year, but I made JV.
Do you see what I'm saying? It was like a pattern and it
became a story that I told myself.
And so I stopped waiting to be chosen and I started to just
choose myself. And holy cow, it was not easy.
It is not easy. But so many of those old
(27:13):
thoughts, even when I say them now, it's weird for me.
They. Didn't go.
Quietly, I can't necessarily saythat, but something deeper in me
started to awaken and this version of me that I've been
trying to get back to and maybe even meet for the first time.
(27:34):
Well. That started to become more free
and that is when I was able to really look at my core values
and go, freedom is such a huge core value for me because it's
when I got to finally believe that I could be her, my favorite
version of myself. And that is the power of
(27:58):
shifting yourself image. It's not about becoming someone
else. It's about remembering what's
always been inside of you. That whether it be that
boldness, maybe it's the softness, the joy, vision,
whatever that is, it's giving yourself permission to be fully,
fully expressed and to actually live like you matter.
(28:23):
To stop asking for approval and to start showing up aligned with
who you are. And taking it even further is
standing tall and who you were created to be not pretending,
not shifting or shrinking in a way that you're not truly being
(28:46):
who you are. And.
I want to have that lead us intowhy we stay stuck and talk about
why change feels so hard even when you want it with everything
inside of you. And you're like, you might be
sitting here today going, Oh my gosh, I want that so bad.
(29:10):
Or maybe you're saying, I feel like I've been doing all the
work. Or maybe you're like, gosh, I
know that I made for more, but for some reason I just can't
shift the thermostat. It's not working.
And it is because we're all living with this internal
(29:32):
thermostat, and it's that subconscious set point that
keeps pulling us back to what's familiar.
Even. If it's not serving us, we
continue to pull back into that familiar.
That's what the subconscious is.The subconscious brain is
literally working. I think it's 90% of our brain.
(29:56):
You start to feel. Good in your body you start to
speak up more, you hit a new income level or finally say yes
to something. And then the overthinking creeps
in. The sabotage creep creeps in The
Who do you think you are thoughts.
I love those, those are my favorite.
(30:17):
You then quiet yourself. You question yourself, and
unconsciously. You.
Actually bring things back to the surface that feel
emotionally safe. Not necessarily that it feels
good, but it's what feels familiar.
(30:40):
I listen to a friend of mine whowas talking on social media and
he said, you know, he's. He has.
Let go of some addictions. But what he's realizing is that
he's addicted to stress. And I was like, whoa.
That is big because. Even though it doesn't feel good
(31:02):
for him, it is familiar. It's what is familiar to him and
that is the thermostat that is your self.
Image doing. Its job keeping you inside of
the parameters of your past programming.
And this is where so many peopleget stuck.
This is where I was stuck to. And it's not because you're
(31:24):
lazy, it's not because you're inconsistent.
It's not because you're failing,you're simply living at the
temperature your identity is setto.
But. Here is the truth.
That most people aren't going totell you is that you can
actually change that setting. You can create a new.
Normal for yourself, you can create a new level of love and
(31:49):
energy and ease and. It.
Can be the one that your body and your mind and your heart
believe are safe to hold on to. We can just raise that
thermostat to where then that becomes the safety net.
Not this anymore. And you're not.
(32:10):
You're not going to have to fake.
It you're not going to have to like stretch into it and, you
know, fake it till you make it. It's just going to be bit by
bit, retraining, thought by thought, action by action.
It's a process. So.
If you want. To start shifting your set
point. Here's a really powerful
(32:31):
question to reflect on. You know, I love journaling.
You know, I love when you grab apen and a piece of paper and you
write this down or you come backto this or maybe a posit right
here and you really think about this.
Here's the question I want you to ask yourself.
What? Level.
Of love, peace or success feels normal to you.
(32:55):
And what if you expanded that byjust 5% today?
I'm going to ask it again, what level?
Of love, peace or success feels normal to you.
And what if you expanded that byjust 5% today?
(33:16):
Because when you. Stretch yourself image your life
is going to start to stretch to meet it.
It's not faking it till you makeit.
You'll actually start to meet it.
And then here's where we're going to get into the goods
(33:39):
because I love, again, I love the journaling.
I love the tips and tricks because I want to feed you with
empowering ways to grasp certainconcepts and things that we're
working on in our lives as women.
But I also want to make sure that you're equipped with some
tools and tips and tricks. So now that we've talked about
(34:02):
what self-image is and why it matters, I want us to talk about
how we can actually start to shift it, how we can raise that
thermostat. Because this isn't just a
theory. I promise you.
This is really that identity work and identity work actually
changes lives. I see it.
Every single day. And here are three ways you can
(34:25):
start upgrading yourself image today without waiting for
permission, without waiting to be perfect.
The number one thing I want you to do is I want you to name her.
And this is where it starts getting crystal clear on who you
are becoming. I want you to sit down with a
journal and I want you to describe the next version of you
(34:47):
in detail. Like super, super detailed, not
who you think, OK, this is whereI want you to make sure you're
not doing like who you think youshould be.
Not what other people expect youto be, but the real you, the
real you in your heart, in your mind, in your nervous system
(35:08):
that's been quietly rising underneath the rolls and
underneath the routines. Ask yourself, what does she
believe about herself? What does she know to be true
even when no one else sees it yet?
What does she walk away? From with no guilt, what can
(35:29):
you? Walk away from with no.
Guilt. This is you, like the version of
you that you are going to journal about.
And what does her piece cost? And is she willing to pay it?
Are you willing to pay it? And then here's the key is.
(35:53):
I want you to write it in. Present tense like right now,
today, not one day I will be. But I want you to write it in
the present tense of I am a woman who speaks kindly to
herself. I am a woman who follows
through. I am a woman who feels good in
(36:14):
her skin. You guys, when we start putting
I am in front. Of what we declare.
To be true, there is power in it, because if you don't define
her, the world will do it for you.
And that is what has been happening for most of you.
(36:37):
So stay. In the.
Present tense and just go Just. Go give.
Yourself permission to go. And then number. 2 is watch your
words the way you. Speak to yourself.
And about yourself becomes yourself image.
(36:57):
Because words aren't just words.They're identity statements.
If you're constantly saying I'm such a mess, I'm just bad with
money, I always give up. You guys, they are reinforcing
where your thermostat is set. These are the things that like
(37:18):
you just say and they go away. You know how they say words
stick? Yep, words stick in that
subconscious brain. And this is reforming and
reinforcing the thermostat and the setting of the thermostat.
So instead, I want you to catch yourself and don't.
You know, don't beat yourself. Up over it because it probably
has become huge habits, but gently.
(37:40):
Start to. Reframe it and try.
I'm learning how to have better habits around money.
I'm building new habits around money.
I've fallen before, but I alwaysrise.
I'm learning how to be more grounded.
(38:04):
OK, Those are the things that I want you to really be thinking
about because this isn't toxic positivity, OK?
So I want you to know that this isn't toxic positivity.
Positivity, OK? This is identity realignment.
(38:25):
You're choosing to speak from the truth of who you're
becoming, not the pain and all of the stuff that has surrounded
you in the pain that you've been.
That's where I want you to know the difference.
And then #3. I want you to anchor with
(38:45):
action. Now here is where I believe the
magic starts to happen because this is when you're going to
take a small step today as her and when I say as her, your
favorite self, not the one who'stired, not the you who's afraid.
And you're like, oh crap, but the version of.
(39:07):
You who's? Walking in her glow up era, the
one you just wrote about. OK, so this is when you're, you
know, really kind of taking it in and this is where you do like
what I did when I put on that stinking dress and I went on a
coffee date with myself. This is where you're going to
wear that Boulder outfit. This is where you're going.
(39:29):
To make that. Phone call that maybe you've
been wanting to make but you've been too chicken to do it.
Maybe this is where you're goingto say no without over
explaining and you're going to set those stinking boundaries.
Maybe. It's going to.
Be logging off early and just being able to lay it down.
(39:51):
Maybe you've been telling yourself.
You're going to go to bed on time.
We'll step into her today and goto bed on time.
Get that sleep that you need. Take the walk because you're
nervous system deserves the peace.
And. Yes, you can make the time.
Step into her today. It doesn't have to be a huge
thing, it just has to be alignedwith who her is to you.
(40:15):
Because. Every time.
And this is this is the brain science stuff that I just geek
out on, is that every time you take an action that matches your
future self-image, your brain and body go, oh, this is who we
are now and then. That is how.
Transformation becomes inevitable.
(40:35):
That is how our thermostat setting raises and stays until
we want to raise it again. So if.
You're taking anything. From this episode, Let it be
this you're not waiting to become her.
You're remembering that she's always been there, underneath
the noise, underneath that fear,the tiredness, the stress.
(40:59):
And today you choose her. Today you choose her.
And if this episode is stirring something in you, if you're
sitting there and you're noddingor maybe you're tearing up,
maybe you're even feeling that like quiet fire inside of your
(41:19):
chest, I want you to know this. That is not a coincidence.
That's your future self tapping on your heart and just saying
I'm ready, let's go, let's stop waiting around, let's do this
thing because you don't have to earn your way into the next
chapter of your life. You get to decide.
(41:41):
To become. The favorite version of yourself
right now and. I would be.
Honored to walk with you every step of the way.
So. Here's the thing, if you're
ready for deeper support or you're just like, I need more
tools, maybe you feel like I need a community of women doing
(42:02):
this identity work in real time with me because that helps me,
then I would love, love, love tohave you inside of the Glow Up
School. It is our signature membership.
It's a space where mindset meetsembodiment.
It's where strategy starts to meet your heart and your soul
(42:24):
and. Women get to.
Come back home to themselves. And just to you know.
Give you a little bit of what the glow up school what's inside
of the glow up school you do getmonthly glow guides to shift
yourself image to shift your habits and your confidence
there's. Coaching.
(42:44):
We have mood board workshops, wehave somatic tools we've got.
Connection. There's accountability that
doesn't feel like pressure and it feels like more like a
sisterhood. And there's community and
there's experts that come in andpour into you.
So I promise you, you are. Given the tools, each month we
(43:06):
focus and go deep on a certain topic.
And let me. Tell you they all resonate.
It's so good. And you can join us.
Of course, the notes are always in the show notes.
Of course, are the links I should say are in the show
notes. But you can join us.
You just go to rise to shine.co.And if you have been waiting for
(43:32):
a sign, this is it. Now, if you're not quite ready
to go there yet, you're not likeready for a full membership, but
you just want a taste of this work, I do have a free gift for
you. And that's where you can grab
the glow up blueprint. And this is a guide that helps
you clarify the woman that you're becoming and where you're
(43:54):
holding yourself back. And it's powerful.
It's totally free. You can also grab it right in
the show notes again, but you can go to Rise to shine.co and
you can grab that blueprint. And I just want to encourage you
(44:15):
that if you are feeling that tug, definitely, definitely
start to listen to it. And then if you're a woman in
business or you just are wantingto show up in more rooms, more
communities, I also created something, it's called the
Confidence to Connect Digital Starter Pack.
(44:37):
And it's a low cost, but it is ahigh impact tool kit that helps
you walk into spaces more confidently.
And that could be online, it canbe in person.
And it just helps you to feel more grounded and confident and
magnetic. You'll there's.
Practice. Scripts in there, there's
visibility strategies and the reason why I'm mentioning it on
(45:00):
this episode, there is identity level support in there and you
can grab that as well. So here's what I want to leave
you with. You don't.
Need to do this. Perfectly.
You just need to keep showing upfor the version of you that
already exists, the one who has been so beyond patient, waiting
(45:22):
for you to believe in her again.And if you don't feel quite
ready, do it anyway. That's when.
And that's where your next chapter really starts to begin.
So I just want to. Encourage you.
To go for it if you're feeling that nudge, whatever that looks.
(45:44):
Like for you, we. Have space here I try to.
Provide. Lots of different opportunities
for you to tap into because. I care.
So deeply about the work that I do.
And I know that there is a calling on my life to do this
work because I know how much it has changed me.
I had no idea why I was leaving teaching.
(46:06):
I I knew my why of leaving teaching.
I didn't know what I was going to do.
And I believe that there has. Been no accident in my path.
So with all of that being said, please connect.
I'd love to hear from you. I am cheering for you.
I'm rooting you on. I'd love to walk alongside of
you and help you in any way thatI can.
(46:29):
And then, of course, as always, thank you guys for being here.
Thank you for being a woman who rises and share this episode.
If it if you feel like it's something that somebody else you
know, needs to hear it. Please don't keep me a secret.
I mean, we are growing and I'm so excited and.
(46:53):
I cannot. Wait to connect with you again
soon. So until next time, keep rising,
keep shining, and no. I'm going to change this.
Up a little bit. Your favorite version of you?
She's already in there, so let'sbring her to the surface.
All right. Friend.
We'll see. You next week, have a great day.
(47:16):
Thanks for joining me here today.
Your presence means the world tome.
If you enjoyed what you heard, please consider leaving a rating
and review and don't forget to follow or subscribe so you never
miss an episode. Head to the show notes and let's
connect. Rise to Shine Co is ready to
support you in coaching, collaboration, light tips, or
even a coffee chat. Until next time, keep shining my
(47:39):
friends.
Welcome to the Rise to Shine podcast with Noel Custis where
we ignite the spark to discover your favorite self.
It is time to get real ladies. Hey friend, welcome back to the
Rise to Shine podcast. I'm your host, Noel Custis, and
(00:21):
can I just pause for a second and say thank you?
Because of you, this show is nowranked in the top 5% of podcasts
globally, and we are setting oursights on the top 2.5%.
That means more women rising, more lives shifting, and more
(00:47):
stories being rewritten in real time.
And today, we're going to be diving into something deeply
personal. And honestly, I believe this is
transformational and that is self-image.
Not, and this is what I want to make really clear.
(01:09):
This isn't all about the appearance kind.
I want to make that, you know, super clear.
I'm talking about this real mental portrait you carry of who
you believe you are, who you believe that you are.
The image that is going to slightly, I shouldn't even say
(01:33):
slightly, I should say it quietly shapes your choices.
It shapes your confidence, yourself, identity, shapes your
income. And I believe it can even shape
your joy even when you don't realize it.
(01:54):
And that's why I felt like this was such an important topic to
talk about right here on the podcast.
So if you've ever looked in the mirror and thought there's more
in me than what I actually see right now, that's where I want
(02:15):
you to know you're also not alone.
And this episode is going to be for you.
Because the truth is, you can only rise as far as you see
yourself going. You can only rise as far as you
see yourself going. And then when you start seeing
(02:37):
yourself clearly, everything begins to change.
So let's first talk about what self-image really is, OK?
Because I don't think that we intentionally think about that.
(02:57):
And again, it's not about how you look in the mirror.
It's that invisible thermostat, OK?
So I want you to imagine this. It's this invisible thermostat
that sets the tone for your entire life.
And it is that quiet story behind every decision that you
(03:18):
make, OK? It's that story.
It's what you believe you deserve or you don't deserve.
It's what you think you're capable of, what kind of love
that you accept in your life, what kind of money you receive.
These are just some of what our self identity says to us, some
(03:42):
of what that is and what that deeper meaning is.
It's also how you walk into a room or how you hold yourself
back from even entering a room. That all has to do, believe it
or not, with self identity and most of us, especially as women,
never realize that this is actually running the show.
(04:05):
And that is what I find so fascinating.
We. Just think that we're stuck.
We think that we lack motivation, we think that we
need more discipline or more willpower, but that is not it.
We're just living out the story that we've been told or the ones
(04:28):
that we have told ourselves because man, are we good at
that. And another important thing to
remember is that most of us didn't choose that story
consciously. It was shaped by things we were
told when we were growing up. So were you someone that was
(04:50):
told you're the shy one? I was always told, oh, you're
built just like your mom. Anybody ever heard that?
What about we're not the type ofpeople who and then just fill in
the blank. That is what starts to shape our
story. Also, what shapes our story is
(05:12):
the trauma that we've survived. That can be a shaper.
Maybe it's society's expectations of what a woman
should be. And I put that in quotation
marks should be. And the roles that we've played,
especially as moms, as partners,as a daughter, these are roles
(05:33):
that we have played and taken on.
And that too starts to shape ourstory.
And the truth is this, your lifeis actually reflecting back the
image that you've been holding, not the woman that you were
created to be, but the one you've settled into based on
(05:57):
your past. But here is the good news in all
of this, because I don't want tobe the Debbie Downer here.
I want you to hear this with my whole entire heart.
You're not stuck with the self-image of your past.
You're not broken. You're not too late to change or
(06:21):
to shift that story or those stories.
And here's the best part. Yourself image can evolve and
when it does, everything else starts to follow and that is
what I get so excited about. That's what I have witnessed
with myself. I've witnessed with my clients,
(06:43):
even family members. As a matter of fact, I just
recorded a podcast earlier todaywith a guest who is fire and she
literally like started to evolveherself with herself image about
10 years ago. And then in the last five years,
she's really started to hone in on herself image.
(07:06):
And then in the last year, Oh mygosh, she's like a completely
different person. And she is a middle-aged woman.
Because this whole idea isn't about fixing yourself.
This is about remembering who you've always been underneath
(07:26):
all of the noise. Like before all the stories
started to build up, this is whoyou've always been.
And I don't believe, in my opinion, no one is meant to be
small and quiet or overlooked. I believe that we are created
(07:48):
for impact. We're created for joy.
We're created for expansion in our own unique, beautiful way.
And that can look different for all of us.
That's what's beautiful about life.
And when your inner image startsto catch up with your truth,
(08:09):
that's when, again, it all begins to shift.
So I want to, you know, define this because I feel like it can
be confused. I don't want to say that this is
about necessarily reinvention. I really have started to
recognize that this is more about a coming home to you.
(08:33):
It's really coming home to the truest version of you.
And in the Glow Up school, we have been talking about this and
we call this beautiful process, your inner glow and your outer
shine. It's kind of the full spectrum
of a glow up from the inside out.
(08:54):
So we're going to talk about that framework.
We're going to talk about the inner glow.
We're going to talk about the outer shine.
And in the Glow Up school, we are really embracing this
because when both of these are aligned, that's when the real
change, it starts to happen in your life.
(09:17):
And that's when it's not just this temporary change, but it
becomes your identity level. It becomes self identity.
So I want to kind of break that down 1st and talk about the
inner glow. So when I'm referring to the
inner glow, this is your root system.
(09:38):
I want you to think about that as the root.
It's the beliefs you hold about who you are.
It is the safety your nervous system feels when you take up
space, when you receive support from someone, or even when you
are allowing yourself to ask formore.
(10:02):
OK, Your inner glow becomes thatsubconscious programming.
It becomes that emotional baseline.
And really, it becomes your relationship with trust.
And that's going to be trust in yourself.
It's going to be trust in your voice, in your intuition.
(10:22):
And the thing about your inner glow is you can't fake it.
You can't white knuckle your wayto confidence or force peace
into a dysregulated body, a dysregulated nervous system.
I used to have these thoughts. OK, So again, want you to just,
(10:43):
if you hear yourself in any of these, gosh, always feel free to
let me know because I love to hear your feedback.
But I used to think if I just worked harder, if I just got
more organized, if I just followed the right plan.
But the thing was, is that no matter how many to do lists that
(11:06):
I made, I felt disconnected frommyself because my identity
hadn't shifted yet. When I was saying all of those
things, I hadn't shifted yet. My nervous system was still
operating in survival mode. It was coming from survival and
(11:30):
it is a process. It is still a process.
It is a journey. I can still fall back into that,
especially when I start to listen to those old stories.
And here's the thing, that innerwiring always overrides your
outer effort. OK, I want you to hear that
(11:53):
again. Your inner wiring, so that
subconscious always overrides your outer effort.
So I want you to try this. Start noticing, start noticing
your default thoughts. What are those thoughts that
come to your mind right away? Those are your default thoughts.
So when you walk past a mirror, what's the very first thing you
(12:17):
think? And don't sugarcoat it.
I want you to really pay attention to this.
When someone compliments you, I want you to think about what
does your body do? What does your body do?
How does it make you feel? Do you shrivel up?
Do you like puff up? You think thank you.
Are you someone that's easily able to say thank you, or are
you someone that shrinks down? These are entry points into
(12:41):
yourself image. And I'll tell you that the inner
glow is where the healing startsto begin, because this is where
you start to remember who you are.
Before you became a mom, before you started taking on the roles,
before all the noise, before allthe pressure that was already
(13:06):
there, That inner glow starts tocome back and starts to heal.
I want you to think about yourself as a little girl.
So that's why I always love looking at a picture of myself
when I was little, because that's where that inner glow for
me starts to recognize like how much I loved her, how much I
(13:30):
can, I can look at her and compliment her and talk so
kindly to her. Because it was before all the
stories, before all the noise and before the pressure.
Now the outer shine, this is theexpression of your glow.
So it's kind of like thinking about yourself image and how it
moves through the world, OK. And it shows up in the ways that
(13:52):
we speak. It shows up in the ways that we
dress, the way that you move. It also shows up in boundaries
that you set or you do not set. And it shows up in the decisions
that you no longer put off. You don't delay them anymore.
And the outer shine does not mean perfection.
(14:15):
I really want you to hear me in that It does not mean
perfection. It just means alignment.
It means that you're aligned. Your habits, your energy and
your presence start to reflect your upgraded self-image.
So I want you to, I want to giveyou an example of this.
(14:35):
I remember this day I wore a dress that I had been, well,
we'll just say I had been saving.
You know, it was that that dressthat you're like, it's a little
too nice for just running errands.
But like, I'm not really sure when I'm going to wear it.
I'll probably just wear it for aspecial event to justify wearing
(14:56):
it, right? But one day I woke up and I was
like, OK, I love this dress. It's so cute.
Why do I keep putting it off? Who am I waiting for?
What? What am I waiting for?
So I literally just put it on that morning.
I was like, I'm going to put it on.
(15:17):
I feel like curling my hair. I want to, you know, put on some
makeup because I don't always wear makeup.
And it wasn't a special occasion, but I was like, you
know what? I am becoming a woman who feels
like I want my days to feel special when I go out and about.
(15:42):
I want those days to sometimes feel special.
And so I was like, well, what can I do in this dress?
And I decided I'm going to go get some coffee.
So I did. I went to a cute little coffee
shop and the coffee wasn't any kind of celebration, but what it
(16:04):
reminded me of is that I got to celebrate because of me.
And that is what I mean by like feeling like her, your favorite
self. Wearing that dress helped me to
feel like the favorite version of myself and going and having
(16:25):
coffee in it and, and, and please no, this isn't like some
semi formal dress or anything like that.
It was just like an extra cute, super cute dress that you, you
know, it's like that in between like you think you have to have
a special occasion for. But I was like, you know what,
I'm going to start stepping intothe energy of the woman that I'm
(16:46):
becoming today. I'm not going to wait for the
special occasion. I'm not going to wait for
tomorrow because otherwise this dress is going to continue to
sit in my closet. And I was like, I'm tired of
waiting. How many of you have clothes in
your closet that you're waiting to lose just a couple more
(17:08):
pounds for? I mean, I, I don't know, this
comes up a lot with my clients that talk about and my friends
and my family. I mean, it, it seems like it's a
running theme. It's like, oh, I have all these
clothes in my closet, but I'm going to wait and wear them and
I just lose a little bit more weight.
(17:30):
And it's not because they don't fit you now.
It's just because you think you need to do that.
That's the story. So having the outer glow is
literally choosing to embody herright now, to walk in her energy
right now, to treat yourself with the same presence and the
(17:51):
same joy and the same respect that she would, who you imagine
as your favorite self. Step into it now.
Even if it's just for a coffee, little coffee run.
Sit there having coffee. And if I'm being super honest
(18:12):
with you, I'm having to live this in real time right now
because I'm working on a projectthat has me completely exposed.
Like big time, raw and real. It is stretching me in ways I
did not expect. I had a feeling it may but not
to this extreme. And it's bringing up a lot of
(18:33):
insecurities I thought I had already outgrown.
And This is why. This is a journey.
But that's what's so great aboutself-image is that it can
constantly evolve. It doesn't stop once you get
there. We don't just get there, and
that's how we are forever. This work.
(18:54):
Literally invites you again and again to tap into the next layer
of her, even when that fear creeps in.
Even when your old identity tries to pull you back.
And that, my friend, is the giftyou get to become more of who
(19:15):
you truly are. One day at a time, one decision
at a time. And sometimes you have to be
Uber brave about it. And let me tell you, I didn't
always have a really powerful self-image.
I mean, I still, like I said, I'm still doing the work in real
(19:37):
time right now. But if you know even a little
piece of my story, you know I'vewalked through it.
I've been through a. Lot of loss.
I've been through divorces personally with my own
ex-spouse, but also I went through divorce as a child.
I've been through abuse, I've been through single motherhood,
(20:01):
I've been through blended families.
I mean, I've done the thing. And there was a chapter in my
life where I didn't recognize myself in the mirror.
I let's put it this way. I had built an identity around
being the strong one. I built it around being the
(20:23):
giver, the helper, the woman whoalways found a way, always found
a way, figured it out. And while I don't regret that
part of me, I have to tell you it was literally 90% of the time
it was survival. And what I didn't know was that
(20:46):
I had slowly lost sight of the woman inside of me.
I had lost sight of her and I didn't even realize how little
space I. Had given.
Myself for things like loving myself completely and fully,
being brave and how I showed up.I didn't give myself space for
(21:08):
that. Speaking kindly to the
reflection in the mirror. Oh my gosh, I, my gosh, you
guys, it is. If you heard.
What was going on in my head? It was so sad.
I would. Never want any person to talk to
(21:30):
themselves that way. I didn't hold.
Space for owning my body. My voice.
My presence. Sometimes I felt even shameful
of my presence in certain situations.
And I definitely, definitely didnot let myself take up space in
(21:55):
business, not even much in teaching.
And this is probably why I lovedbeing a teacher because I could
do that by myself with my students and I could be more me.
But when it came to being with my colleagues, I definitely got.
I let everybody else be the experts because I didn't allow
(22:17):
myself to show up thinking I knew what I was talking about.
Sometimes with my closest colleagues I would.
Be that way. But I felt like I, I, you know,
we'd go into staff meetings and I definitely struggled.
And then if I did show up too much, then I felt like I always
(22:39):
needed to apologize for that. So I'm.
Not sure if this is resonating with anyone of you that are
listening. But I have a.
Feeling it probably is. And.
What hurt the most through this process is.
(23:02):
Not that. Others didn't see me if whether
they did or they didn't, becauseagain, we tell ourselves our own
stories, right? So maybe they did see me, but I
felt like they didn't. But what hurt the most when I
was doing this work and really like recognizing this in myself
that I wasn't seeing me, that I was.
(23:26):
Trying to bury. Myself, and that is when I came
to that. I felt like it broke me wide
open and there was actually a grief around it because I felt
like I have this grief around the years that I spent proving
my worth. Instead of just.
(23:47):
Standing in it. And.
There was also grief in how I carried other people's
expectations while just being quiet.
And I just. Silenced myself in a lot of ways
and people who knew me then, andmaybe I'm not as close to now,
or maybe just knew me as like, you know, a what do I want to
(24:13):
say? Not as like a good friend, but
someone that is like an acquaintance.
Maybe they see it. Completely different, but we all
have our own perspective. And I carry that grief.
But what is beautiful about thatis that that grief led me to
(24:34):
some real work of getting like super honest with myself and not
just healing what had happened, but reimagining who I got to be
now. And I started shifting myself
image from the inside out. Because what I started.
To do is I started to choose andwe all get a right to choose.
(24:57):
Instead of punishing myself and punishing my thoughts and
punishing my body, I started to soften a little bit.
It started it. It was a.
Slow process again, not easy. But I, I.
Discovered the softness. I practice being kind to myself
when no one was watching. I.
(25:21):
Allowed my body and this is still, you know, I'm telling
you, this is like the hardest thing for me.
Is allowing. My body to be beautiful as is,
even if it's a work in progress.I wasn't.
Always waiting for that goal to be hit because that is how I've
spent my entire life. You guys.
(25:45):
Dieting culture started when I was little, like young, and one
of my biggest things that I struggled with in myself
identity was being chosen and not being chosen.
Part of my. Story is always feeling like I
(26:05):
was second best. I never felt like I was ever
number one. It was always the second best
whether it be like if. You know, a couple of.
Us girls liked a boy. I was the second choice.
If I, you know, sometimes like going for a job, I was the
second choice. I certainly.
(26:27):
Wouldn't run for president of ASB because, Oh my gosh, no way.
I, there's always going to be people that are better than me.
So I'm going to run for vice president.
I'm going to run for secretary or treasurer.
And sometimes that didn't even work out.
And I was the best, I was the second best, right?
Trying out for cheerleading my first year just didn't quite
make it. Didn't quite make the varsity
(26:50):
team the next year, but I made JV.
Do you see what I'm saying? It was like a pattern and it
became a story that I told myself.
And so I stopped waiting to be chosen and I started to just
choose myself. And holy cow, it was not easy.
It is not easy. But so many of those old
(27:13):
thoughts, even when I say them now, it's weird for me.
They. Didn't go.
Quietly, I can't necessarily saythat, but something deeper in me
started to awaken and this version of me that I've been
trying to get back to and maybe even meet for the first time.
(27:34):
Well. That started to become more free
and that is when I was able to really look at my core values
and go, freedom is such a huge core value for me because it's
when I got to finally believe that I could be her, my favorite
version of myself. And that is the power of
(27:58):
shifting yourself image. It's not about becoming someone
else. It's about remembering what's
always been inside of you. That whether it be that
boldness, maybe it's the softness, the joy, vision,
whatever that is, it's giving yourself permission to be fully,
fully expressed and to actually live like you matter.
(28:23):
To stop asking for approval and to start showing up aligned with
who you are. And taking it even further is
standing tall and who you were created to be not pretending,
not shifting or shrinking in a way that you're not truly being
(28:46):
who you are. And.
I want to have that lead us intowhy we stay stuck and talk about
why change feels so hard even when you want it with everything
inside of you. And you're like, you might be
sitting here today going, Oh my gosh, I want that so bad.
(29:10):
Or maybe you're saying, I feel like I've been doing all the
work. Or maybe you're like, gosh, I
know that I made for more, but for some reason I just can't
shift the thermostat. It's not working.
And it is because we're all living with this internal
(29:32):
thermostat, and it's that subconscious set point that
keeps pulling us back to what's familiar.
Even. If it's not serving us, we
continue to pull back into that familiar.
That's what the subconscious is.The subconscious brain is
literally working. I think it's 90% of our brain.
(29:56):
You start to feel. Good in your body you start to
speak up more, you hit a new income level or finally say yes
to something. And then the overthinking creeps
in. The sabotage creep creeps in The
Who do you think you are thoughts.
I love those, those are my favorite.
(30:17):
You then quiet yourself. You question yourself, and
unconsciously. You.
Actually bring things back to the surface that feel
emotionally safe. Not necessarily that it feels
good, but it's what feels familiar.
(30:40):
I listen to a friend of mine whowas talking on social media and
he said, you know, he's. He has.
Let go of some addictions. But what he's realizing is that
he's addicted to stress. And I was like, whoa.
That is big because. Even though it doesn't feel good
(31:02):
for him, it is familiar. It's what is familiar to him and
that is the thermostat that is your self.
Image doing. Its job keeping you inside of
the parameters of your past programming.
And this is where so many peopleget stuck.
This is where I was stuck to. And it's not because you're
(31:24):
lazy, it's not because you're inconsistent.
It's not because you're failing,you're simply living at the
temperature your identity is setto.
But. Here is the truth.
That most people aren't going totell you is that you can
actually change that setting. You can create a new.
Normal for yourself, you can create a new level of love and
(31:49):
energy and ease and. It.
Can be the one that your body and your mind and your heart
believe are safe to hold on to. We can just raise that
thermostat to where then that becomes the safety net.
Not this anymore. And you're not.
(32:10):
You're not going to have to fake.
It you're not going to have to like stretch into it and, you
know, fake it till you make it. It's just going to be bit by
bit, retraining, thought by thought, action by action.
It's a process. So.
If you want. To start shifting your set
point. Here's a really powerful
(32:31):
question to reflect on. You know, I love journaling.
You know, I love when you grab apen and a piece of paper and you
write this down or you come backto this or maybe a posit right
here and you really think about this.
Here's the question I want you to ask yourself.
What? Level.
Of love, peace or success feels normal to you.
(32:55):
And what if you expanded that byjust 5% today?
I'm going to ask it again, what level?
Of love, peace or success feels normal to you.
And what if you expanded that byjust 5% today?
(33:16):
Because when you. Stretch yourself image your life
is going to start to stretch to meet it.
It's not faking it till you makeit.
You'll actually start to meet it.
And then here's where we're going to get into the goods
(33:39):
because I love, again, I love the journaling.
I love the tips and tricks because I want to feed you with
empowering ways to grasp certainconcepts and things that we're
working on in our lives as women.
But I also want to make sure that you're equipped with some
tools and tips and tricks. So now that we've talked about
(34:02):
what self-image is and why it matters, I want us to talk about
how we can actually start to shift it, how we can raise that
thermostat. Because this isn't just a
theory. I promise you.
This is really that identity work and identity work actually
changes lives. I see it.
Every single day. And here are three ways you can
(34:25):
start upgrading yourself image today without waiting for
permission, without waiting to be perfect.
The number one thing I want you to do is I want you to name her.
And this is where it starts getting crystal clear on who you
are becoming. I want you to sit down with a
journal and I want you to describe the next version of you
(34:47):
in detail. Like super, super detailed, not
who you think, OK, this is whereI want you to make sure you're
not doing like who you think youshould be.
Not what other people expect youto be, but the real you, the
real you in your heart, in your mind, in your nervous system
(35:08):
that's been quietly rising underneath the rolls and
underneath the routines. Ask yourself, what does she
believe about herself? What does she know to be true
even when no one else sees it yet?
What does she walk away? From with no guilt, what can
(35:29):
you? Walk away from with no.
Guilt. This is you, like the version of
you that you are going to journal about.
And what does her piece cost? And is she willing to pay it?
Are you willing to pay it? And then here's the key is.
(35:53):
I want you to write it in. Present tense like right now,
today, not one day I will be. But I want you to write it in
the present tense of I am a woman who speaks kindly to
herself. I am a woman who follows
through. I am a woman who feels good in
(36:14):
her skin. You guys, when we start putting
I am in front. Of what we declare.
To be true, there is power in it, because if you don't define
her, the world will do it for you.
And that is what has been happening for most of you.
(36:37):
So stay. In the.
Present tense and just go Just. Go give.
Yourself permission to go. And then number. 2 is watch your
words the way you. Speak to yourself.
And about yourself becomes yourself image.
(36:57):
Because words aren't just words.They're identity statements.
If you're constantly saying I'm such a mess, I'm just bad with
money, I always give up. You guys, they are reinforcing
where your thermostat is set. These are the things that like
(37:18):
you just say and they go away. You know how they say words
stick? Yep, words stick in that
subconscious brain. And this is reforming and
reinforcing the thermostat and the setting of the thermostat.
So instead, I want you to catch yourself and don't.
You know, don't beat yourself. Up over it because it probably
has become huge habits, but gently.
(37:40):
Start to. Reframe it and try.
I'm learning how to have better habits around money.
I'm building new habits around money.
I've fallen before, but I alwaysrise.
I'm learning how to be more grounded.
(38:04):
OK, Those are the things that I want you to really be thinking
about because this isn't toxic positivity, OK?
So I want you to know that this isn't toxic positivity.
Positivity, OK? This is identity realignment.
(38:25):
You're choosing to speak from the truth of who you're
becoming, not the pain and all of the stuff that has surrounded
you in the pain that you've been.
That's where I want you to know the difference.
And then #3. I want you to anchor with
(38:45):
action. Now here is where I believe the
magic starts to happen because this is when you're going to
take a small step today as her and when I say as her, your
favorite self, not the one who'stired, not the you who's afraid.
And you're like, oh crap, but the version of.
(39:07):
You who's? Walking in her glow up era, the
one you just wrote about. OK, so this is when you're, you
know, really kind of taking it in and this is where you do like
what I did when I put on that stinking dress and I went on a
coffee date with myself. This is where you're going to
wear that Boulder outfit. This is where you're going.
(39:29):
To make that. Phone call that maybe you've
been wanting to make but you've been too chicken to do it.
Maybe this is where you're goingto say no without over
explaining and you're going to set those stinking boundaries.
Maybe. It's going to.
Be logging off early and just being able to lay it down.
(39:51):
Maybe you've been telling yourself.
You're going to go to bed on time.
We'll step into her today and goto bed on time.
Get that sleep that you need. Take the walk because you're
nervous system deserves the peace.
And. Yes, you can make the time.
Step into her today. It doesn't have to be a huge
thing, it just has to be alignedwith who her is to you.
(40:15):
Because. Every time.
And this is this is the brain science stuff that I just geek
out on, is that every time you take an action that matches your
future self-image, your brain and body go, oh, this is who we
are now and then. That is how.
Transformation becomes inevitable.
(40:35):
That is how our thermostat setting raises and stays until
we want to raise it again. So if.
You're taking anything. From this episode, Let it be
this you're not waiting to become her.
You're remembering that she's always been there, underneath
the noise, underneath that fear,the tiredness, the stress.
(40:59):
And today you choose her. Today you choose her.
And if this episode is stirring something in you, if you're
sitting there and you're noddingor maybe you're tearing up,
maybe you're even feeling that like quiet fire inside of your
(41:19):
chest, I want you to know this. That is not a coincidence.
That's your future self tapping on your heart and just saying
I'm ready, let's go, let's stop waiting around, let's do this
thing because you don't have to earn your way into the next
chapter of your life. You get to decide.
(41:41):
To become. The favorite version of yourself
right now and. I would be.
Honored to walk with you every step of the way.
So. Here's the thing, if you're
ready for deeper support or you're just like, I need more
tools, maybe you feel like I need a community of women doing
(42:02):
this identity work in real time with me because that helps me,
then I would love, love, love tohave you inside of the Glow Up
School. It is our signature membership.
It's a space where mindset meetsembodiment.
It's where strategy starts to meet your heart and your soul
(42:24):
and. Women get to.
Come back home to themselves. And just to you know.
Give you a little bit of what the glow up school what's inside
of the glow up school you do getmonthly glow guides to shift
yourself image to shift your habits and your confidence
there's. Coaching.
(42:44):
We have mood board workshops, wehave somatic tools we've got.
Connection. There's accountability that
doesn't feel like pressure and it feels like more like a
sisterhood. And there's community and
there's experts that come in andpour into you.
So I promise you, you are. Given the tools, each month we
(43:06):
focus and go deep on a certain topic.
And let me. Tell you they all resonate.
It's so good. And you can join us.
Of course, the notes are always in the show notes.
Of course, are the links I should say are in the show
notes. But you can join us.
You just go to rise to shine.co.And if you have been waiting for
(43:32):
a sign, this is it. Now, if you're not quite ready
to go there yet, you're not likeready for a full membership, but
you just want a taste of this work, I do have a free gift for
you. And that's where you can grab
the glow up blueprint. And this is a guide that helps
you clarify the woman that you're becoming and where you're
(43:54):
holding yourself back. And it's powerful.
It's totally free. You can also grab it right in
the show notes again, but you can go to Rise to shine.co and
you can grab that blueprint. And I just want to encourage you
(44:15):
that if you are feeling that tug, definitely, definitely
start to listen to it. And then if you're a woman in
business or you just are wantingto show up in more rooms, more
communities, I also created something, it's called the
Confidence to Connect Digital Starter Pack.
(44:37):
And it's a low cost, but it is ahigh impact tool kit that helps
you walk into spaces more confidently.
And that could be online, it canbe in person.
And it just helps you to feel more grounded and confident and
magnetic. You'll there's.
Practice. Scripts in there, there's
visibility strategies and the reason why I'm mentioning it on
(45:00):
this episode, there is identity level support in there and you
can grab that as well. So here's what I want to leave
you with. You don't.
Need to do this. Perfectly.
You just need to keep showing upfor the version of you that
already exists, the one who has been so beyond patient, waiting
(45:22):
for you to believe in her again.And if you don't feel quite
ready, do it anyway. That's when.
And that's where your next chapter really starts to begin.
So I just want to. Encourage you.
To go for it if you're feeling that nudge, whatever that looks.
(45:44):
Like for you, we. Have space here I try to.
Provide. Lots of different opportunities
for you to tap into because. I care.
So deeply about the work that I do.
And I know that there is a calling on my life to do this
work because I know how much it has changed me.
I had no idea why I was leaving teaching.
(46:06):
I I knew my why of leaving teaching.
I didn't know what I was going to do.
And I believe that there has. Been no accident in my path.
So with all of that being said, please connect.
I'd love to hear from you. I am cheering for you.
I'm rooting you on. I'd love to walk alongside of
you and help you in any way thatI can.
(46:29):
And then, of course, as always, thank you guys for being here.
Thank you for being a woman who rises and share this episode.
If it if you feel like it's something that somebody else you
know, needs to hear it. Please don't keep me a secret.
I mean, we are growing and I'm so excited and.
(46:53):
I cannot. Wait to connect with you again
soon. So until next time, keep rising,
keep shining, and no. I'm going to change this.
Up a little bit. Your favorite version of you?
She's already in there, so let'sbring her to the surface.
All right. Friend.
We'll see. You next week, have a great day.
(47:16):
Thanks for joining me here today.
Your presence means the world tome.
If you enjoyed what you heard, please consider leaving a rating
and review and don't forget to follow or subscribe so you never
miss an episode. Head to the show notes and let's
connect. Rise to Shine Co is ready to
support you in coaching, collaboration, light tips, or
even a coffee chat. Until next time, keep shining my
(47:39):
friends.
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