August 19, 2025 • 44 mins
What if the words you say to yourself are the very thing holding you back from the life you want?
In this powerful conversation, I sit down with my friend and fellow coach, Heather McNally, a Master Certified Life Coach, keynote speaker, and author, to unpack how limiting beliefs are formed, and how you can rewire them for lasting change. Heather’s journey from surviving childhood abuse to creating a life of fulfillment is a testament to the power of choice, acknowledgment, and turning pain into purpose.
Heather blends brain science, psychology, and real-life grit to help women break free from the stories that no longer serve them. Together, we explore why your brain is wired for survival (not success), how to shift your self-talk from “I can’t” to “I will,” and why embracing small moments of gratitude can radically shift your life.
✔️ The hidden beliefs formed before age 7 that quietly shape your confidence and choices today
✔️ Why acknowledgment and awareness are the true starting points for transformation
✔️ Practical ways to turn past pain into a source of power, purpose, and joy
If you’ve been feeling stuck, doubting your worth, or holding yourself back from the life you want, this episode will remind you that you are stronger than you believe, and the life you deserve is already within you.
Listen in, then keep your eyes out for the upcoming collaborative book Rise: How to Find Your People, Power, and Purpose as You Rise to Success, where Heather’s full story will inspire you even further. (Pre-Order Here: https://www.arisepublishinghouse.com/rise-book62605249)
More About Heather:
Heather McNally is a Master Certified Life Coach, keynote speaker, and author who helps people break through limiting beliefs to create lives of happiness, confidence, and fulfillment. After overcoming childhood abuse, depression, and anxiety, she transformed her struggles into purpose, blending psychology, brain science, and real-life experience to guide others in owning their story, rewiring their thinking, and stepping into their full potential. Happily married to her best friend of 29 years and mom to two college-aged sons, Heather is also an animal lover, music enthusiast, and ocean adventurer who believes the life you deserve is already within you.
Website: https://heathermcnally.com
Instagram: https://instagram.com/heather_a_mcnally
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/share/12M7r5qFQBi/?mibextid=wwXIfr
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/heather-mcnally-757ab52a
Buy Heather’s Journal: https://a.co/d/iIBNJRR
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Rise to Shine podcast with Noel Custis where
we ignite the spark to discover your favorite self.
It is time to get real, ladies. Hello, hello, and welcome to the
Rise to Shine podcast. I'm your host, Noel Castis, and
(00:22):
I am so excited because today's guest is a friend that I first
met during my Sparkle days. We were Sparkle Sisters before
we ever knew that we would be doing what we are doing now.
So here we are five years later and we are doing something super
special and I cannot wait to share it with you.
(00:43):
But I want to tell you a little bit about our guest today.
Heather McNally is a master certified life coach.
She is a keynote speaker and powerful voice for
transformation. She's turned her own story of
overcoming childhood trauma, depression, and anxiety into a
mission to help others break free from limiting beliefs and
(01:05):
rewrite the stories holding themback with a mix of brain science
coaching and real life grit. I say that because she has real
life grit. Heather helps people step into
happiness, confidence, and the life that they actually want.
You're going to love this conversation, I promise you.
(01:25):
So welcome Heather. I am so excited to have you here
today. Thank you so much, Noelle.
I'm thrilled to be here on your podcast.
And I love that, you know, we have our history together and
that we just keep growing together.
I love it. Totally.
It's so, so fun. We have definitely been on a
journey in the last five years and that is why I'm so excited
(01:48):
to have you here because I just want people to get to know you,
get into your world. And then also, of course, we got
to talk about this exciting project we've got going on
together. So let's go ahead and start by
just, you know, introducing you,letting you introduce yourself.
Actually, for those of you who for those that do not know you
(02:10):
yet, can you just give us a quick intro who you are, what
you do outside of, you know whatI said, I know I always have all
of the big things right that I share, but there's so much more
to you than that. So I'd love for you to give us a
little glimpse into that and then also a little bit about
what led you to the work that you do.
(02:30):
Awesome. Yes, so I am, I call myself a
life fulfillment coach, speaker,author.
As you heard, we're working together on a collaborative book
and I basically I started my life with childhood abuse.
And you know, I've talked about it so much that it may come off
(02:50):
sounding like it doesn't seem like a big deal, but of course
it is. It shaped who I was, who I am
and what it is I do. I grew up with a father who's
very abusive physically and alsoemotionally, verbally.
And I have a brother who he did the same thing with.
And my mom, who I adored, I never saw him hit her.
(03:16):
I never saw any bruises or anything.
But he was very emotionally and verbally abusive with her.
And so of course, you know, building a life from childhood,
we've got that brain science coming in where you get your
limiting beliefs by the age of seven years old from the people
that you are so around. So it was my father, you know,
(03:39):
it's your parents, it's your siblings, it's your friends,
teachers. And the reason that we get these
beliefs in our, our brain is because our, our brain is
telling us like, how do I function in this world?
So it looks to see what's happening in the world around us
so that we can make sense of theworld doesn't mean it's there to
help us. It means we need to survive.
(04:00):
And that's what the brain is trying to do for us.
So through childhood abuse, I developed the beliefs that I was
not worthy, that I was a piece of crap is what I usually say.
That I wasn't worth anything, that I was never good enough,
that I did everything wrong, that everything was my fault,
that I was here to make other people happy, that I was not to
(04:23):
be seen or heard, that I was to hide.
And I also got mixed messages, you know, because my mom was a a
flawed human being as everybody is, but really a wonderful,
generous, beautiful soul who wasable to compartmentalize and
say, here's this. She'd be in a fight with my
father. And she'd take it and put it
(04:44):
aside and then look at us and smile and be like, so, you know,
and I've never seen anybody do that so well.
And I knew from a very young ageI was not that person.
I was not able to hide it. I wasn't able to hide how I
felt. And it ate at me.
And so unfortunately, those limiting beliefs and what I was
told I was and versus what I wasnot and never going to be able
(05:06):
to be, it ate at me. And so throughout my life, it
was, I wasn't worthy. Everybody else was so much
better than me. I didn't belong.
I, you know, everything bad thatyou can say about yourself, I
did. And unfortunately, I not only
said it to myself, but I said itout loud because I figured
nobody could hurt me the way I could hurt myself.
(05:29):
You're not going to say anythingto me that I haven't said to
myself. So I, it was like I, I needed to
prove that for some reason. And what I discovered is it
actually pushed people away and I was hurting myself more and
putting myself more in the shellthat I didn't want to be in.
And through that, and through knowing that I wanted more for
(05:50):
myself, knowing I wanted out of my house and I wanted a life for
myself, I started to develop that.
And I met somebody in college that challenged me and that was
interesting and fun and intelligent and caring and had
empathy and loyal. And he's now my husband.
So now almost 35 years together and almost 30 years married, we
(06:15):
chose to do things differently than what happened to me.
And then there was also the issue of my mom who became
terminally ill and I took care of her.
I became her advocate. I became her voice.
And going through that experience with her for a very
long time until her passing really inspired me to become the
(06:38):
person that I I felt I should be.
I felt I wanted to be. I felt I could be and step out
there and say maybe I could start a business.
And now it, since I made the decision to start this business,
my confidence has grown, my strength has grown.
I'm so much more empowered. I did the work myself to get to
(06:58):
the place that I'm at. And it's just, you know, my
whole life has inspired me to other women not wait until
they're 45, almost 50 years old to really embrace who they are
and what they're capable of. I love that there's so much to
(07:20):
unpack there because as I first of all, as I'm listening to you
and and you know this, but for people that are new around here
or even new to this podcast, youknow, our stories are very
similar, but not that you and I are the same person in our
experience growing up. But I was very similar to your
(07:42):
mom. And I had that marriage for 20
years where the physical abuse didn't come until the very end,
but there was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse.
And as you become a parent, whenyou said she was so great at
(08:03):
compartmentalizing like that is absolutely who I was, is just
being full of shame and being hurt and angry and getting put
down and made fun of, called names, all the things.
But then turning around and showing up and holding space for
my kids as if nothing had happened.
(08:25):
And then realizing as your kids are growing up, like, Oh my
gosh, this is so not healthy. This is terrible.
I do not want my children. They were young.
They were very young. And I thought, I we just can't
continue this way. So, you know, I, I can imagine
how that was growing up and how hard that was because I know, I
(08:48):
get, you know, I get to talk to my kids about it and we have
conversations, they're older nowand we talked about it's a very
real part of our situation. And, and I had to, you know, I
had to heal and I had to learn how to show up differently.
And, and then Fast forward to where we are now.
(09:11):
You and I obviously talk and know each other's stories.
And we've realized that as adults, we had a lot of
similarities of like the insecurities and, you know, the
way that we would talk to ourselves and how we would treat
ourselves and how we don't want other women to go through this
and we want to help them. And so I know a lot of the work
(09:34):
that we do is similar in that particular space.
So I love that you shared that. And I do know that you, you
know, definitely blend the science with it.
It's not just our own experiences, you guys, some
people get confused on, you know, this whole idea about
being a master certified life coach because we both are that,
(09:56):
you know, yes, we've taken the classes, yes, we have, you know,
put in the hours of training andall of the things.
And we've had our own experiences to be able to really
kind of hone in on the women that we want to help.
But in addition to that, it has been the brain science behind it
that we start to learn and go, wow.
(10:19):
And it's mind blowing when you start to figure this out.
So, you know, I'd love to just know for you with all of this,
with all of this knowledge and the personal experience, how
does that shape how you show up for your clients today?
Oh well, the girl, even 10 yearsago that I was, would be shocked
(10:43):
that I'm doing this because it was like a dream.
And I've always, always, always,for some reason felt that I had
a voice, but I also felt that nobody wanted to hear it.
So over time, I started doing things like on Facebook and, you
know, chatting with people and just trying to put positive
(11:03):
things out there because brain science shows that the more you
put it into your brain, the moreyou believe it.
So when people say things like affirmations and someone will
say they're just fake, I don't believe in them.
So why am I going to say I'm a millionaire to myself when I
know that I'm not and I don't think it's possible for me?
Well, then you start where it's simple and you say I'm a good
(11:26):
person or whatever is true for you and it's not fake.
It's what you're putting into your brain and it starts to
change who you are. So I will say that, you know,
the brain science I started a long time ago, I heard somebody
once say that if you go to bed and think about things that
(11:48):
you're grateful for, and this has to be 20 years ago, go to
bed, think about something you're grateful for, like two or
three things you're grateful forand something you're looking
forward to that it's going to help you feel better, sleep
better, wake up in a happier mood.
And I was like, if you knew who I was 20 years ago, I was, I had
(12:08):
a beautiful family. I loved my family.
I loved so many things. And people would say you're so
positive about so many things, just not about yourself.
And it was true. I loved life, I loved the world,
but I hated myself. So how can I change that?
So when I heard that, I just grabbed onto it.
And I will say I was going to bed and I had to force myself to
think of it because I'd forget you.
(12:30):
You get into your habits, into rituals and routines.
And so overtime going to bed, thinking about these things
changed me. And I started to look forward to
that part of going to bed. I started to look forward to how
I felt when I thought about those things.
I slept better, I woke up and had better mood, and overall my
(12:51):
whole darkness started to changebecause it was very dark in my
thoughts about a lot of things usually but myself.
And so I think over time betweendoing that, not knowing the
brain science, and then startingto see everything happen with my
mom. And there's nothing like seeing
(13:11):
somebody make the decision for themselves that they're going to
stop their treatments, which they know will end their life
and to make you go, wow. I mean, not even facing my own
mortality, looking at what she was deciding at 69 years old to
look back and say, my goodness, look at everything in her life.
(13:31):
I wonder if she's sitting here thinking to herself, I had
children, I had a career, I had a home, I had friends, I had
family. And so that really got me to
thinking about what are other people thinking and why, you
know, she didn't leave this situation that she was in, but I
know that there were very many times that she wanted to but
(13:52):
didn't stand up for herself, didn't feel empowered and
everything. And so it all brought me to, I
really want to learn about this,about personal development and
how I can make myself better. And that start all started the
spark for me of maybe I can helpsomebody else.
And it all was going to be just a blog and just kind of for fun.
(14:13):
And then I was like, you know what, this is my life purpose
because I always knew my role inlife was to help people.
I just didn't know how. And it, it helped me figure it
out. And so now if I can help
somebody else realize that they are worthy, that they are
somebody special, that they havea purpose and, and you know,
(14:34):
envelope that and hold on to that and create their life with
that. That's my life purpose.
Yeah, and I mean you, you are known for helping people break
free from limiting beliefs. So what is What is 1 belief that
you had to release in your own life that completely shifted
everything? I can't. 2 words, two very
(14:57):
strong words that were instilledin me in those limiting beliefs.
And when somebody asked me if I want to do something one day and
I said I can't. And they were like, OK, it, they
don't know what's going on. And all of a sudden I realized I
didn't even think about the answer to that question.
I literally just said, I can't. Why did I say that?
(15:21):
And that was when I realized that I said that for a lot of
things internally and vocally and, you know, to other people.
And I lost out on lots of opportunities and lots of fun.
And, you know, I, I was very disempowered.
So I can't. It's gone.
It's so powerful because we don't realize what a habit we
(15:45):
get ourselves into of just saying that because it's our
excuse to avoid. And so then, you know, we start
to tell ourselves the story thatwe can't when in actuality, we
can. And like you said, a lot of
people will just believe you andgo, OK.
Whereas there are going to be some people in life that are
(16:07):
going to call you out on that too, you know, and say, yes, you
can. And maybe it's even we always
talk about in my world, the power of yet, you know, I can't
yet being that, OK, maybe you can't do that right now, but you
will be able to. So I love that.
I love that you bring that up. And then you also often talk
(16:27):
about turning pain into power. So what does that look like
practically for someone listening right now who feels
maybe stuck or overwhelmed rightnow?
Well, first of all, you said, you know, we all say I can't and
yet, right? But I'm definitely the person
now who's the, I call myself theinstigator.
(16:48):
If someone says they can't or Ohno, no, no, I couldn't, I can't.
I'll call them out on it now because I know that we do that.
I know that sometimes we don't even give ourselves the option,
and so I'll call them out on it.And so turning pain into power
(17:08):
for me is something just like that where I was so
disempowered. I was so unhappy and felt so
unworthy and unfulfilled. And now I am the person that
takes what I've gone through. And you know, they say it's a
cliche, but you grow through what you go through.
(17:29):
Every experience that we have, we can learn through it and we
can take something from that andturn it into the power that
helps us get past something, do something, make a choice.
And so for me, you know, I chosethat I was not going to live a
life with somebody that made me unhappy and miserable.
(17:51):
And I applaud you for making that very difficult decision for
yourself and your children. And, you know, I definitely had
asked my mom, why don't you go? And, you know, you've made a
huge impact on their lives because of it.
But you what you learn in life is that you can take a lesson
(18:12):
from anything. So the pain of being, you know,
an abused child. God, yeah.
I had a lot of trust issues. I let a lot of anger, a lot of
depression, a lot of all of it. But now I turned that into
knowing that those are choices Idon't want for myself and
knowing that, you know, when I got married, we had children and
(18:36):
our decision was we are not going to raise our children in
any way, shape or form the way that I was raised and really
kind of the way my husband was raised also, but that we're
going to have a loving house anda connected house.
And, you know, so I turned that pain of having no connection and
(18:58):
anger and hurt into love and togetherness and a beautiful
life. And no, everything's not perfect
all the time. Nobody can look at somebody's
house and say, oh, they've got ahouse, 2 cars, a garage, and,
you know, everything's perfect. No, everybody has struggles,
everybody has difficulties and pain.
But I really feel like even the situation with my mom, I was
(19:21):
able to take that and turn it into purpose to be able to help
myself understand what I did anddidn't want in life, what I
could and couldn't do. And that life is short and I'm
going to grab it. Mm hmm.
Totally, I love that and it, youknow, it's so true and it's and,
and, and honestly, I mean, I have only known you for five
(19:42):
years and I know that you have said that this has been a
journey for the last 10 ish years.
And you know, even the growth that I have seen in the last
five years has been tremendous. And this is what I love about
life and the journey that we're on is that you are never too
(20:02):
old, you are never too late thatyou can start making those
changes. And when you do, it's not just
for yourself, but it's a domino effect of what is happening
around you and the people that it affects.
Around you and that's why, you know, like I said, I mean, thank
(20:23):
you for acknowledging that, you know, yes, it was brave and it
was it was a big deal for me to leave and there were lots of
reasons. I mean, obviously when you're in
situations like this, there are layers, multiple layers.
And I think that I think where we both our hearts both come
from is a space of such compassion.
(20:44):
Like, yes, we're going to call you out.
We are not going to be the ones that are.
We're going to sugarcoat it and be like, oh, it's OK.
Like, yes, we're going to love you.
We're going to be compassionate and we're going to show all of
that. But we both have talked about it
took other people and ourselves and just our deep inner
reflection. But it has also been other
(21:07):
people calling us out on things that we're like and.
Then you. Go, oh, oh, yeah, I hadn't
thought about that. Or oh, like, that's that digs
deep and I need to need to kind of figure this out.
And that to me is where the lovecomes to.
(21:28):
Like there's this, there's this deeper love for someone when
you're willing to have those tough conversations.
And that's what I love in the work that I get to do.
And I know you love to get to dothat too.
And so I'm curious for you, whatrole has acknowledgement played
in your healing journey? And why do you think it might be
(21:51):
such a key part of the transformation process?
That you teach Well, it's acknowledgement and awareness is
everything. And that's the beginning of
change. How can you change something if
you're not even aware of what's happening?
And there you were saying, you know, you get in it and then,
you know, you start to become aware of things.
(22:12):
But sometimes it takes somebody else to point it out to you.
And that's part of why I want todo speaking and why I authored
my chapter in this book, becauseI feel that, you know, one of
the things I say in it is talking about that brick in the
face moment when something hits you like a brick hit you in the
face and makes you wake up and all of a sudden you're aware of
(22:35):
it. When I said I can't.
And then also I was like, wait aminute, who said that?
I hadn't even thought about it. So if you're not aware of your
behavior, if you're not aware ofyour own beliefs and what you're
doing, how could you change it? If you're not aware that you
could have a better life and be happier and have more joy and
(22:56):
fulfillment and excitement in your life, how are you going to
know that you want that? And when I was younger, I used
to look at people and I'd be like, oh, they have everything.
Aren't they lucky? Aren't they lucky?
And like I said, you can't look at someone's life and just know
what it is from the outside looking in.
(23:17):
You don't know. And I've had that experience
time and time again where peoplethought certain things and then
they'd hear the truth and vice versa.
So I wish, you know, everybody could become aware of that.
But acknowledgement is the firststep.
You can't make changes if you don't acknowledge it, you're not
aware of it. So even if it's someone being
(23:40):
your brick in the face, whateverit is that makes you aware and
then you can start to make changes and do the work that you
have to do. And you know, it's not easy, but
it's so worth it because you know, I'm saying all the
cliches. Life is a journey, but it's true
because if you can't experience sitting and watching the
(24:02):
hummingbirds come to your Hummingbird feeder and have some
joy in that because it's beautiful and it's nature.
If you can't enjoy going out andlistening to the ocean or going
to a waterfall and find joy and beauty in those moments just the
same as if you won $1000 on a scratch ticket, then you're
(24:23):
missing so much. It is true.
And yeah, I just, I, I think that there's so much to be said
about that acknowledgement. Sometimes we're just so close to
something that we don't even seewhat's actually happening or, or
we just have our own perspectiveof that.
And and then what you're talkingabout with like, you know, being
(24:46):
able to grasp life and all the small moments and the little
things to find beauty in that goes back to that gratitude.
And I mean, I know like gratitude has literally the
practice of gratitude because itis a practice.
And you know, yes, we can say, oh, I'm so grateful for this.
No, it is a practice. And I too do a practice with
(25:09):
gratitude has literally been life changing.
And yeah, it's just, oh gosh, wecould probably have a whole
podcast over. Well, we should.
Have a whole podcast? We have gratitude.
We. Need to do.
We need to do. This but let's talk about this
book that we are Co authoring together because you've
mentioned it a couple of times and we talked about a project so
(25:31):
excited about this project project that we have been
working on and I'm just like I would love for the audience to
know because again, this is one of those things that who knows
who's listening out there? But you know, you may be someone
that was like, oh gosh, I've gota story to tell or I have a
(25:52):
dream that I would love to be able to write a book or maybe
it's not even on your radar. This is why I want to talk about
it because all of us that are authors in this book, because it
is a collaborative book, there are, I believe, seven of us 7
authors that are involved. And some of, I mean, all of us
have different stories. Some of us never thought in a
(26:14):
million years we would be a partof a book.
Some of us had always had that dream.
I mean, so we're definitely all coming from different
perspectives and This is why I love to talk about it.
But what made you say yes to this project and what does it
represent for you personally? So I did a manifestation vision
(26:36):
board course with somebody. Let's see, super probably last
summer, so a year ago. And I've often thought about
writing books, but it used to belike children's books.
I've always loved kids. I've always wanted to work with
kids. And so I thought about it and
thought about it and that's all I did was think about it.
(26:58):
Same thing with, you know, writing this blog.
I thought about it and thought about it and then finally it got
to the point where I was like, Ican't hold myself back from
doing this anymore. So starting the idea of becoming
a coach. And then I was like, oh, there's
this little part of me that's like, I have a message.
Will one-on-one coaching get this message to the people that
(27:19):
need to hear it? And so yes, I love doing
one-on-one coaching because I love the connection to people.
But I felt like for somebody, for the right people to hear the
message, I needed to be more broad.
I need it to be bigger. And it's not that I feel that I
(27:41):
need to be big. I feel that the message needs to
be big and needs to be heard. So I kept thinking about it and
thinking about it and time went on.
And all of a sudden, I saw, because I became a chapter
director with Business and Bubbly along with you, I saw
that charity, the owner of Business in Bubbly was offering
(28:07):
a speaking author course. And it was like I saw it.
And it was almost like hearing that, like this is it, you need
to do this. You need to jump into this.
And I held back for about 15 minutes because that's how I am.
Once I'm aware and it's in my head, I can't start thinking
about it. And that's how awareness is.
(28:29):
Once it creeps in, it's there. And so I went to my husband and
I said I got a crazy idea and he's like another one.
I'm like, yeah, So what do you think about me doing a speaking
and author course? And he's like, that sounds about
right. And he, he, we looked at it
(28:50):
together and he encouraged me todo it.
And I said I'm gonna, I actuallyreached out to you to talk about
it. And then I decided I was going
to go for it because it was speaking to me all day and all
night. Yeah, and, and, and we both
definitely had that experience. And it's so funny because I
don't know why I didn't pick up on the fact that you thought
(29:13):
that you were going to write children's book.
I mean, of course it makes sensebecause we both have a teaching
background. But here's what's wild is that
back in, Oh my gosh, Heather, this is like when I was in
college before I had kids, before I was a teacher.
This was back in the like mid 90s.
I actually submitted a children's book to a publishing
(29:38):
company. Of course, you know, didn't get
picked up, didn't do anything with it.
But I had that dream too. It's, I thought, oh, I, I would
love to write a children's book.And I was a preschool teacher at
the time while I was going through college.
I was a server, you know, did waitressing, but then I also was
a preschool teacher. And I just loved the power of
(30:01):
stories. I loved what it did for kids and
how it could affect them, how itaffected me.
I mean, gosh, there's still, there's still children's books
that I cry over to this day. And I.
Can I share with you after you say this because I have a story
about that. Yeah, and I, I still feel like I
(30:22):
have it in me to write a children's book, especially now
that I have more knowledge and, you know, I have children of my
own, but I was a teacher for 25 years.
All the things. But that's why, because I didn't
realize that was something that we had in common with wanting to
do that so. Funny.
Yep, another thing, we're just meant to be in each other's
lives. I know and I love it.
(30:44):
My mom actually was a an, excuseme, an elementary school teacher
and she taught 2nd grade for most of her career.
And I loved, oh, I loved going in the classroom and helping and
everything. But at the very end she asked me
to start reading to her the bookGoodnight Moon and.
(31:06):
That still brings me to. Tears.
Yep, me too. And I read it to my kids when
they were in the womb and when they were out.
And so I read it to her every night and it became this thing.
And she'd just be like, goodnight moon.
And you know, she always said, Ilove you to the moon and back
and. Wild.
Yeah, so I, and actually, when Idid her eulogy, I read that at
(31:30):
the end. And it's a very, you know, very
special book for to me for so many reasons.
But children's books, Yeah, thatmessage.
I mean, she wanted to hear this when she was 69 years old.
And, you know, I shared it at her eulogy, At the eulogy, I
read and everybody came up to meand thanked me for reading it.
(31:52):
And so, yeah, the messages that come through in books, whether
they're children's books or, youknow, self help book, self help
books, they're profound. Totally.
Maybe we need to write. Maybe we need to co-author a
book that's a picture book children's style, but for women.
(32:12):
Oh, there you go. I love it.
My, my greatness swirling now. But OK, let's get back to our
book that we have now because I know you and I, we're dreamers
for sure. And we will put this out into
the universe and all of a suddenwe're going to start attracting
all of this girl. OK, so without giving too much
away, what is 1 powerful messageor moment from your chapter that
(32:35):
you really hope hits home for the readers?
I really hope that people recognize through this that
choice is truly, you know, people say superpowers a lot
lately, but it truly is a superpower.
Our brains are amazing, absolutely amazing.
And when you work to train your brain and to teach your brain,
(32:59):
because truthfully, our brains are not our friends.
And I, I learned that from my brain science teacher, Gregory
Karamans. And he told us your brain is not
your friend. Your brain is here to get you to
survive. So it's going to do whatever it
needs to get you to survive. So fear, let's stop.
(33:21):
You know, that's why we procrastinate so many things.
But you have that power over your brain to make it make
choices that are good for you. Yeah.
So I I'm curious for you in thispart, did anything unexpected
come up for you during the process of writing your story?
(33:42):
I think, I don't know if it was really unexpected, but just the
sadness that I have for who I used to be, the sadness that I
have from my mom's choice to have to compartmentalize.
And I know that the stress was part of what happened to her in
(34:05):
getting sick and the sadness forpeople who don't realize they
have that power of choice. So it it kind of fueled me even
more to make sure that my voice is heard.
Yeah, definitely. I I definitely feel that.
I think all of our gosh, you know, I think about this book
and I know all the stories for the women that are in the book
(34:28):
and I haven't read, you know, wehaven't read each other's
chapters yet. So it's going to be a surprise
for all of us, although we know the you know, we know the
message, we know the story. And boy, are there some
powerhouse stories in this. And what you know, I know how
(34:48):
what I feel about this. But I want to ask you, who do
you hope picks up this book and what do you want them to feel or
know by the time they turn the last page?
I hope Me 20 to 30 years Ago picks up this book.
I hope that somebody who's either recognizing that they are
(35:11):
ready for change, they're on thecusp of it, they're right there
teetering, or even somebody who's maybe not quite realized
it, but it's kind of on the outer skirts of their brain and
the awareness hasn't quite gotten there, but they're
starting to recognize that something's not right.
I hope that those people who need it need these messages that
(35:35):
you are, you are, you are enough, You are beautiful,
you're brave, you're strong, you're everything.
Because these stories are definitely very powerful.
And if they can help somebody figure out that OK, I need to be
aware and start to make whateverchanges I need to make, I hope
(35:59):
that they pick it up. Yeah.
And then just for just for today, as we're kind of rounding
this out, we of course still have our little fun game we'll
be playing. But before we round this out, if
someone is listening today and is, you know, I know this is,
it's not meant to be a pun, but if they're standing at the edge
of their own chapter, what is one thing that you would say to
(36:21):
them right now? I would say you're stronger than
you believe you are and to standup and do it.
Yeah, stronger than you believe.You are so good.
So good. All right, girl.
Well, I know we could be on hereforever because we do talk about
(36:42):
how you and I are both very longwinded and we will go all day if
you allow. But this has been amazing and
just so much to take in. But before I let you go today,
we always do something. It's called Spark and Spill.
It's just a fun little way to get to know because sometimes we
get really heavy in here and we're like OK, now we just need
(37:04):
to know the fun parts of our guests.
So for. The fun and the D whatever
today, yeah. Exactly.
OK. All right.
So are you willing to play with us today?
Absolutely. Bring it on.
Awesome. OK, So you're just going to say
the first thing that comes to mind.
This is not meant to be high pressured stakes here.
There's, there's no cash involved my friend, but we're
(37:24):
getting up on with it. OK, so I love music and I love
to hear what other people think about it.
So I'd love to know what is a goto song that shifts your mood
instantly. Oh, there's so many.
Music is music saved me when I was younger.
And so it's a very, very powerful tool.
(37:45):
And I will say that one of the songs that I can't get out of my
head is Walk by the Foo Fighters.
And We're going to. Say Foo Fighters.
Yep, it's I'm a rock girl overall, but there's just such a
powerful message in that song where he was talking about his
experience with Kurt Cobain because it's Dave Grohl from the
original Nirvana, and he was talking about literally watching
(38:09):
his child learning how to walk and about making changes in your
life. So it's a very powerful song and
it's got it kicks so. You guys, if you haven't heard
it yet, go back and listen to it.
Or if you have heard it and you're like, oh, I never like
thought about or I haven't thought about that one in a long
time. Go back and listen.
This is why I love playing this game.
And then of course, we always love to know a drink order.
(38:30):
So coffee, tea or what? What is another favorite drink?
If that, those aren't one of them.
Oh, this is going to make me sound bad, all right.
Number one is water. I drank that pretty much
primarily. But number 2 is definitely a
Cosmo or a lemon Drop any day, no?
That's I just wasn't sure if youwere going to reveal it, but I
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
(38:53):
OK, so how about a quote or mantra that you're loving
lately? It's funny that you say that.
I just ordered this book becausemy friend Christine does nature
photography on her own. Not professional.
I keep asking her, write a book,you know, do a book, like a
coffee table book. But she lives in Vermont.
(39:13):
It's just the stunning scenery and everything.
And so she posted one of my favorite flowers the other day,
a Lotus, and used the quote, no mud, no Lotus.
And it's a book actually. So no mud, no Lotus.
If you don't have the mud, you're not going to get the
flower. And that's like life.
Yep. OK.
(39:34):
And Speaking of books, is there a favorite book or podcast that
you would recommend? I love so many.
I will say one of the ones that really started speaking to me
when I very first started listening to podcasts was Trent
Shelton. He has his podcast where he just
(39:54):
talks and he's super authentic and very real.
He's a former NFL player and he has, you know, been through it
and has found, you know, he was one of those original.
Kind of personal development people.
And I just love how he talks andhe gets real excited and he's
yelling and he's like, I need tocalm down and I'm like no, keep
going. I love it.
No, yeah, that's that's awesome.OK, good.
(40:17):
I love that because that's this is one of secret, you know,
truth be told, here is the reason why I love to do this is
because I love to give our audience like other songs,
books, quotes, different things that they can ponder, they can
look at, they can check it out because that's what we're all
about here is to so inspire women through stories and
(40:38):
through information. So last question, if you could
go back and tell yourself one thing, what would it be your
younger? You are so beautiful and strong,
don't listen to anybody else. So good.
(40:59):
And I know that that has been big learning for you in
particular. It's big learning for me.
It's. Hard to say actually.
Hard to say, right? Especially the beautiful part.
Yeah, I, I, I can relate to thisand I, I have a feeling that
there are other women out there that can relate.
And I again, we talk about this a lot in our world of how we
(41:25):
talk to ourselves. Now it's, you know, when we
think about that younger self, you know, we always ask that
question, what, how would you talk to your younger self?
What would you tell her? And so when you connect with
that younger self, whoa, it's sopowerful because of course we
would tell her that she's beautiful and that she's strong
(41:48):
and she's all the things. But for whatever reason, we go
through life and all of a suddenwe become adults and it's harder
to see that in ourselves. We see different things.
We see the hard, we see the faults, we see the wrinkles, we
see all the things, right? And so I love that that you
know, you are beautiful and you are strong.
(42:08):
So Heather, I just have to say thank you so much for just
sharing your heart and sharing your story.
All the wisdom today. It's so good.
And if you're listening and feeling that tug that maybe it's
time to reclaim your power and rewrite your story, just know
that you're not alone because weare walking this right alongside
(42:31):
of you. And this is exactly why we are
so excited about the upcoming book Co authoring together.
It's called Rise, How to find your people, power and purpose
as you rise to success. So it is going to be filled with
stories like Heathers that remind us what's possible and
(42:53):
when we stop letting our past define us and start choosing our
next chapter. And I want you to hear this on
purpose. Choosing it on purpose.
I, I just have chills right now.I am so stinking excited.
I want you to also make sure that you're staying connected
(43:13):
with Heather. Her links are going to be all in
the show notes. So keep your eyes out for the
book that's dropping later this summer.
But also check out the show notes so you can be in touch
with Heather personally. And until next time, keep her
eyes and keep shining and know your best day is waiting right
here for you today. All right you guys.
(43:35):
Bye Heather and bye friend. I thank you so much.
Thank you. Thanks for joining me here
today. Your presence means the world to
me. If you enjoyed what you heard,
please consider leaving a ratingand review and don't forget to
follow or subscribe so you nevermiss an episode.
Head to the show notes and let'sconnect.
Rise to Shine Co is ready to support you in coaching,
(43:57):
collaboration, light tips, or even a coffee chat.
Until next time, keep shining myfriends.
Welcome to the Rise to Shine podcast with Noel Custis where
we ignite the spark to discover your favorite self.
It is time to get real, ladies. Hello, hello, and welcome to the
Rise to Shine podcast. I'm your host, Noel Castis, and
(00:22):
I am so excited because today's guest is a friend that I first
met during my Sparkle days. We were Sparkle Sisters before
we ever knew that we would be doing what we are doing now.
So here we are five years later and we are doing something super
special and I cannot wait to share it with you.
(00:43):
But I want to tell you a little bit about our guest today.
Heather McNally is a master certified life coach.
She is a keynote speaker and powerful voice for
transformation. She's turned her own story of
overcoming childhood trauma, depression, and anxiety into a
mission to help others break free from limiting beliefs and
(01:05):
rewrite the stories holding themback with a mix of brain science
coaching and real life grit. I say that because she has real
life grit. Heather helps people step into
happiness, confidence, and the life that they actually want.
You're going to love this conversation, I promise you.
(01:25):
So welcome Heather. I am so excited to have you here
today. Thank you so much, Noelle.
I'm thrilled to be here on your podcast.
And I love that, you know, we have our history together and
that we just keep growing together.
I love it. Totally.
It's so, so fun. We have definitely been on a
journey in the last five years and that is why I'm so excited
(01:48):
to have you here because I just want people to get to know you,
get into your world. And then also, of course, we got
to talk about this exciting project we've got going on
together. So let's go ahead and start by
just, you know, introducing you,letting you introduce yourself.
Actually, for those of you who for those that do not know you
(02:10):
yet, can you just give us a quick intro who you are, what
you do outside of, you know whatI said, I know I always have all
of the big things right that I share, but there's so much more
to you than that. So I'd love for you to give us a
little glimpse into that and then also a little bit about
what led you to the work that you do.
(02:30):
Awesome. Yes, so I am, I call myself a
life fulfillment coach, speaker,author.
As you heard, we're working together on a collaborative book
and I basically I started my life with childhood abuse.
And you know, I've talked about it so much that it may come off
(02:50):
sounding like it doesn't seem like a big deal, but of course
it is. It shaped who I was, who I am
and what it is I do. I grew up with a father who's
very abusive physically and alsoemotionally, verbally.
And I have a brother who he did the same thing with.
And my mom, who I adored, I never saw him hit her.
(03:16):
I never saw any bruises or anything.
But he was very emotionally and verbally abusive with her.
And so of course, you know, building a life from childhood,
we've got that brain science coming in where you get your
limiting beliefs by the age of seven years old from the people
that you are so around. So it was my father, you know,
(03:39):
it's your parents, it's your siblings, it's your friends,
teachers. And the reason that we get these
beliefs in our, our brain is because our, our brain is
telling us like, how do I function in this world?
So it looks to see what's happening in the world around us
so that we can make sense of theworld doesn't mean it's there to
help us. It means we need to survive.
(04:00):
And that's what the brain is trying to do for us.
So through childhood abuse, I developed the beliefs that I was
not worthy, that I was a piece of crap is what I usually say.
That I wasn't worth anything, that I was never good enough,
that I did everything wrong, that everything was my fault,
that I was here to make other people happy, that I was not to
(04:23):
be seen or heard, that I was to hide.
And I also got mixed messages, you know, because my mom was a a
flawed human being as everybody is, but really a wonderful,
generous, beautiful soul who wasable to compartmentalize and
say, here's this. She'd be in a fight with my
father. And she'd take it and put it
(04:44):
aside and then look at us and smile and be like, so, you know,
and I've never seen anybody do that so well.
And I knew from a very young ageI was not that person.
I was not able to hide it. I wasn't able to hide how I
felt. And it ate at me.
And so unfortunately, those limiting beliefs and what I was
told I was and versus what I wasnot and never going to be able
(05:06):
to be, it ate at me. And so throughout my life, it
was, I wasn't worthy. Everybody else was so much
better than me. I didn't belong.
I, you know, everything bad thatyou can say about yourself, I
did. And unfortunately, I not only
said it to myself, but I said itout loud because I figured
nobody could hurt me the way I could hurt myself.
(05:29):
You're not going to say anythingto me that I haven't said to
myself. So I, it was like I, I needed to
prove that for some reason. And what I discovered is it
actually pushed people away and I was hurting myself more and
putting myself more in the shellthat I didn't want to be in.
And through that, and through knowing that I wanted more for
(05:50):
myself, knowing I wanted out of my house and I wanted a life for
myself, I started to develop that.
And I met somebody in college that challenged me and that was
interesting and fun and intelligent and caring and had
empathy and loyal. And he's now my husband.
So now almost 35 years together and almost 30 years married, we
(06:15):
chose to do things differently than what happened to me.
And then there was also the issue of my mom who became
terminally ill and I took care of her.
I became her advocate. I became her voice.
And going through that experience with her for a very
long time until her passing really inspired me to become the
(06:38):
person that I I felt I should be.
I felt I wanted to be. I felt I could be and step out
there and say maybe I could start a business.
And now it, since I made the decision to start this business,
my confidence has grown, my strength has grown.
I'm so much more empowered. I did the work myself to get to
(06:58):
the place that I'm at. And it's just, you know, my
whole life has inspired me to other women not wait until
they're 45, almost 50 years old to really embrace who they are
and what they're capable of. I love that there's so much to
(07:20):
unpack there because as I first of all, as I'm listening to you
and and you know this, but for people that are new around here
or even new to this podcast, youknow, our stories are very
similar, but not that you and I are the same person in our
experience growing up. But I was very similar to your
(07:42):
mom. And I had that marriage for 20
years where the physical abuse didn't come until the very end,
but there was a lot of verbal and emotional abuse.
And as you become a parent, whenyou said she was so great at
(08:03):
compartmentalizing like that is absolutely who I was, is just
being full of shame and being hurt and angry and getting put
down and made fun of, called names, all the things.
But then turning around and showing up and holding space for
my kids as if nothing had happened.
(08:25):
And then realizing as your kids are growing up, like, Oh my
gosh, this is so not healthy. This is terrible.
I do not want my children. They were young.
They were very young. And I thought, I we just can't
continue this way. So, you know, I, I can imagine
how that was growing up and how hard that was because I know, I
(08:48):
get, you know, I get to talk to my kids about it and we have
conversations, they're older nowand we talked about it's a very
real part of our situation. And, and I had to, you know, I
had to heal and I had to learn how to show up differently.
And, and then Fast forward to where we are now.
(09:11):
You and I obviously talk and know each other's stories.
And we've realized that as adults, we had a lot of
similarities of like the insecurities and, you know, the
way that we would talk to ourselves and how we would treat
ourselves and how we don't want other women to go through this
and we want to help them. And so I know a lot of the work
(09:34):
that we do is similar in that particular space.
So I love that you shared that. And I do know that you, you
know, definitely blend the science with it.
It's not just our own experiences, you guys, some
people get confused on, you know, this whole idea about
being a master certified life coach because we both are that,
(09:56):
you know, yes, we've taken the classes, yes, we have, you know,
put in the hours of training andall of the things.
And we've had our own experiences to be able to really
kind of hone in on the women that we want to help.
But in addition to that, it has been the brain science behind it
that we start to learn and go, wow.
(10:19):
And it's mind blowing when you start to figure this out.
So, you know, I'd love to just know for you with all of this,
with all of this knowledge and the personal experience, how
does that shape how you show up for your clients today?
Oh well, the girl, even 10 yearsago that I was, would be shocked
(10:43):
that I'm doing this because it was like a dream.
And I've always, always, always,for some reason felt that I had
a voice, but I also felt that nobody wanted to hear it.
So over time, I started doing things like on Facebook and, you
know, chatting with people and just trying to put positive
(11:03):
things out there because brain science shows that the more you
put it into your brain, the moreyou believe it.
So when people say things like affirmations and someone will
say they're just fake, I don't believe in them.
So why am I going to say I'm a millionaire to myself when I
know that I'm not and I don't think it's possible for me?
Well, then you start where it's simple and you say I'm a good
(11:26):
person or whatever is true for you and it's not fake.
It's what you're putting into your brain and it starts to
change who you are. So I will say that, you know,
the brain science I started a long time ago, I heard somebody
once say that if you go to bed and think about things that
(11:48):
you're grateful for, and this has to be 20 years ago, go to
bed, think about something you're grateful for, like two or
three things you're grateful forand something you're looking
forward to that it's going to help you feel better, sleep
better, wake up in a happier mood.
And I was like, if you knew who I was 20 years ago, I was, I had
(12:08):
a beautiful family. I loved my family.
I loved so many things. And people would say you're so
positive about so many things, just not about yourself.
And it was true. I loved life, I loved the world,
but I hated myself. So how can I change that?
So when I heard that, I just grabbed onto it.
And I will say I was going to bed and I had to force myself to
think of it because I'd forget you.
(12:30):
You get into your habits, into rituals and routines.
And so overtime going to bed, thinking about these things
changed me. And I started to look forward to
that part of going to bed. I started to look forward to how
I felt when I thought about those things.
I slept better, I woke up and had better mood, and overall my
(12:51):
whole darkness started to changebecause it was very dark in my
thoughts about a lot of things usually but myself.
And so I think over time betweendoing that, not knowing the
brain science, and then startingto see everything happen with my
mom. And there's nothing like seeing
(13:11):
somebody make the decision for themselves that they're going to
stop their treatments, which they know will end their life
and to make you go, wow. I mean, not even facing my own
mortality, looking at what she was deciding at 69 years old to
look back and say, my goodness, look at everything in her life.
(13:31):
I wonder if she's sitting here thinking to herself, I had
children, I had a career, I had a home, I had friends, I had
family. And so that really got me to
thinking about what are other people thinking and why, you
know, she didn't leave this situation that she was in, but I
know that there were very many times that she wanted to but
(13:52):
didn't stand up for herself, didn't feel empowered and
everything. And so it all brought me to, I
really want to learn about this,about personal development and
how I can make myself better. And that start all started the
spark for me of maybe I can helpsomebody else.
And it all was going to be just a blog and just kind of for fun.
(14:13):
And then I was like, you know what, this is my life purpose
because I always knew my role inlife was to help people.
I just didn't know how. And it, it helped me figure it
out. And so now if I can help
somebody else realize that they are worthy, that they are
somebody special, that they havea purpose and, and you know,
(14:34):
envelope that and hold on to that and create their life with
that. That's my life purpose.
Yeah, and I mean you, you are known for helping people break
free from limiting beliefs. So what is What is 1 belief that
you had to release in your own life that completely shifted
everything? I can't. 2 words, two very
(14:57):
strong words that were instilledin me in those limiting beliefs.
And when somebody asked me if I want to do something one day and
I said I can't. And they were like, OK, it, they
don't know what's going on. And all of a sudden I realized I
didn't even think about the answer to that question.
I literally just said, I can't. Why did I say that?
(15:21):
And that was when I realized that I said that for a lot of
things internally and vocally and, you know, to other people.
And I lost out on lots of opportunities and lots of fun.
And, you know, I, I was very disempowered.
So I can't. It's gone.
It's so powerful because we don't realize what a habit we
(15:45):
get ourselves into of just saying that because it's our
excuse to avoid. And so then, you know, we start
to tell ourselves the story thatwe can't when in actuality, we
can. And like you said, a lot of
people will just believe you andgo, OK.
Whereas there are going to be some people in life that are
(16:07):
going to call you out on that too, you know, and say, yes, you
can. And maybe it's even we always
talk about in my world, the power of yet, you know, I can't
yet being that, OK, maybe you can't do that right now, but you
will be able to. So I love that.
I love that you bring that up. And then you also often talk
(16:27):
about turning pain into power. So what does that look like
practically for someone listening right now who feels
maybe stuck or overwhelmed rightnow?
Well, first of all, you said, you know, we all say I can't and
yet, right? But I'm definitely the person
now who's the, I call myself theinstigator.
(16:48):
If someone says they can't or Ohno, no, no, I couldn't, I can't.
I'll call them out on it now because I know that we do that.
I know that sometimes we don't even give ourselves the option,
and so I'll call them out on it.And so turning pain into power
(17:08):
for me is something just like that where I was so
disempowered. I was so unhappy and felt so
unworthy and unfulfilled. And now I am the person that
takes what I've gone through. And you know, they say it's a
cliche, but you grow through what you go through.
(17:29):
Every experience that we have, we can learn through it and we
can take something from that andturn it into the power that
helps us get past something, do something, make a choice.
And so for me, you know, I chosethat I was not going to live a
life with somebody that made me unhappy and miserable.
(17:51):
And I applaud you for making that very difficult decision for
yourself and your children. And, you know, I definitely had
asked my mom, why don't you go? And, you know, you've made a
huge impact on their lives because of it.
But you what you learn in life is that you can take a lesson
(18:12):
from anything. So the pain of being, you know,
an abused child. God, yeah.
I had a lot of trust issues. I let a lot of anger, a lot of
depression, a lot of all of it. But now I turned that into
knowing that those are choices Idon't want for myself and
knowing that, you know, when I got married, we had children and
(18:36):
our decision was we are not going to raise our children in
any way, shape or form the way that I was raised and really
kind of the way my husband was raised also, but that we're
going to have a loving house anda connected house.
And, you know, so I turned that pain of having no connection and
(18:58):
anger and hurt into love and togetherness and a beautiful
life. And no, everything's not perfect
all the time. Nobody can look at somebody's
house and say, oh, they've got ahouse, 2 cars, a garage, and,
you know, everything's perfect. No, everybody has struggles,
everybody has difficulties and pain.
But I really feel like even the situation with my mom, I was
(19:21):
able to take that and turn it into purpose to be able to help
myself understand what I did anddidn't want in life, what I
could and couldn't do. And that life is short and I'm
going to grab it. Mm hmm.
Totally, I love that and it, youknow, it's so true and it's and,
and, and honestly, I mean, I have only known you for five
(19:42):
years and I know that you have said that this has been a
journey for the last 10 ish years.
And you know, even the growth that I have seen in the last
five years has been tremendous. And this is what I love about
life and the journey that we're on is that you are never too
(20:02):
old, you are never too late thatyou can start making those
changes. And when you do, it's not just
for yourself, but it's a domino effect of what is happening
around you and the people that it affects.
Around you and that's why, you know, like I said, I mean, thank
(20:23):
you for acknowledging that, you know, yes, it was brave and it
was it was a big deal for me to leave and there were lots of
reasons. I mean, obviously when you're in
situations like this, there are layers, multiple layers.
And I think that I think where we both our hearts both come
from is a space of such compassion.
(20:44):
Like, yes, we're going to call you out.
We are not going to be the ones that are.
We're going to sugarcoat it and be like, oh, it's OK.
Like, yes, we're going to love you.
We're going to be compassionate and we're going to show all of
that. But we both have talked about it
took other people and ourselves and just our deep inner
reflection. But it has also been other
(21:07):
people calling us out on things that we're like and.
Then you. Go, oh, oh, yeah, I hadn't
thought about that. Or oh, like, that's that digs
deep and I need to need to kind of figure this out.
And that to me is where the lovecomes to.
(21:28):
Like there's this, there's this deeper love for someone when
you're willing to have those tough conversations.
And that's what I love in the work that I get to do.
And I know you love to get to dothat too.
And so I'm curious for you, whatrole has acknowledgement played
in your healing journey? And why do you think it might be
(21:51):
such a key part of the transformation process?
That you teach Well, it's acknowledgement and awareness is
everything. And that's the beginning of
change. How can you change something if
you're not even aware of what's happening?
And there you were saying, you know, you get in it and then,
you know, you start to become aware of things.
(22:12):
But sometimes it takes somebody else to point it out to you.
And that's part of why I want todo speaking and why I authored
my chapter in this book, becauseI feel that, you know, one of
the things I say in it is talking about that brick in the
face moment when something hits you like a brick hit you in the
face and makes you wake up and all of a sudden you're aware of
(22:35):
it. When I said I can't.
And then also I was like, wait aminute, who said that?
I hadn't even thought about it. So if you're not aware of your
behavior, if you're not aware ofyour own beliefs and what you're
doing, how could you change it? If you're not aware that you
could have a better life and be happier and have more joy and
(22:56):
fulfillment and excitement in your life, how are you going to
know that you want that? And when I was younger, I used
to look at people and I'd be like, oh, they have everything.
Aren't they lucky? Aren't they lucky?
And like I said, you can't look at someone's life and just know
what it is from the outside looking in.
(23:17):
You don't know. And I've had that experience
time and time again where peoplethought certain things and then
they'd hear the truth and vice versa.
So I wish, you know, everybody could become aware of that.
But acknowledgement is the firststep.
You can't make changes if you don't acknowledge it, you're not
aware of it. So even if it's someone being
(23:40):
your brick in the face, whateverit is that makes you aware and
then you can start to make changes and do the work that you
have to do. And you know, it's not easy, but
it's so worth it because you know, I'm saying all the
cliches. Life is a journey, but it's true
because if you can't experience sitting and watching the
(24:02):
hummingbirds come to your Hummingbird feeder and have some
joy in that because it's beautiful and it's nature.
If you can't enjoy going out andlistening to the ocean or going
to a waterfall and find joy and beauty in those moments just the
same as if you won $1000 on a scratch ticket, then you're
(24:23):
missing so much. It is true.
And yeah, I just, I, I think that there's so much to be said
about that acknowledgement. Sometimes we're just so close to
something that we don't even seewhat's actually happening or, or
we just have our own perspectiveof that.
And and then what you're talkingabout with like, you know, being
(24:46):
able to grasp life and all the small moments and the little
things to find beauty in that goes back to that gratitude.
And I mean, I know like gratitude has literally the
practice of gratitude because itis a practice.
And you know, yes, we can say, oh, I'm so grateful for this.
No, it is a practice. And I too do a practice with
(25:09):
gratitude has literally been life changing.
And yeah, it's just, oh gosh, wecould probably have a whole
podcast over. Well, we should.
Have a whole podcast? We have gratitude.
We. Need to do.
We need to do. This but let's talk about this
book that we are Co authoring together because you've
mentioned it a couple of times and we talked about a project so
(25:31):
excited about this project project that we have been
working on and I'm just like I would love for the audience to
know because again, this is one of those things that who knows
who's listening out there? But you know, you may be someone
that was like, oh gosh, I've gota story to tell or I have a
(25:52):
dream that I would love to be able to write a book or maybe
it's not even on your radar. This is why I want to talk about
it because all of us that are authors in this book, because it
is a collaborative book, there are, I believe, seven of us 7
authors that are involved. And some of, I mean, all of us
have different stories. Some of us never thought in a
(26:14):
million years we would be a partof a book.
Some of us had always had that dream.
I mean, so we're definitely all coming from different
perspectives and This is why I love to talk about it.
But what made you say yes to this project and what does it
represent for you personally? So I did a manifestation vision
(26:36):
board course with somebody. Let's see, super probably last
summer, so a year ago. And I've often thought about
writing books, but it used to belike children's books.
I've always loved kids. I've always wanted to work with
kids. And so I thought about it and
thought about it and that's all I did was think about it.
(26:58):
Same thing with, you know, writing this blog.
I thought about it and thought about it and then finally it got
to the point where I was like, Ican't hold myself back from
doing this anymore. So starting the idea of becoming
a coach. And then I was like, oh, there's
this little part of me that's like, I have a message.
Will one-on-one coaching get this message to the people that
(27:19):
need to hear it? And so yes, I love doing
one-on-one coaching because I love the connection to people.
But I felt like for somebody, for the right people to hear the
message, I needed to be more broad.
I need it to be bigger. And it's not that I feel that I
(27:41):
need to be big. I feel that the message needs to
be big and needs to be heard. So I kept thinking about it and
thinking about it and time went on.
And all of a sudden, I saw, because I became a chapter
director with Business and Bubbly along with you, I saw
that charity, the owner of Business in Bubbly was offering
(28:07):
a speaking author course. And it was like I saw it.
And it was almost like hearing that, like this is it, you need
to do this. You need to jump into this.
And I held back for about 15 minutes because that's how I am.
Once I'm aware and it's in my head, I can't start thinking
about it. And that's how awareness is.
(28:29):
Once it creeps in, it's there. And so I went to my husband and
I said I got a crazy idea and he's like another one.
I'm like, yeah, So what do you think about me doing a speaking
and author course? And he's like, that sounds about
right. And he, he, we looked at it
(28:50):
together and he encouraged me todo it.
And I said I'm gonna, I actuallyreached out to you to talk about
it. And then I decided I was going
to go for it because it was speaking to me all day and all
night. Yeah, and, and, and we both
definitely had that experience. And it's so funny because I
don't know why I didn't pick up on the fact that you thought
(29:13):
that you were going to write children's book.
I mean, of course it makes sensebecause we both have a teaching
background. But here's what's wild is that
back in, Oh my gosh, Heather, this is like when I was in
college before I had kids, before I was a teacher.
This was back in the like mid 90s.
I actually submitted a children's book to a publishing
(29:38):
company. Of course, you know, didn't get
picked up, didn't do anything with it.
But I had that dream too. It's, I thought, oh, I, I would
love to write a children's book.And I was a preschool teacher at
the time while I was going through college.
I was a server, you know, did waitressing, but then I also was
a preschool teacher. And I just loved the power of
(30:01):
stories. I loved what it did for kids and
how it could affect them, how itaffected me.
I mean, gosh, there's still, there's still children's books
that I cry over to this day. And I.
Can I share with you after you say this because I have a story
about that. Yeah, and I, I still feel like I
(30:22):
have it in me to write a children's book, especially now
that I have more knowledge and, you know, I have children of my
own, but I was a teacher for 25 years.
All the things. But that's why, because I didn't
realize that was something that we had in common with wanting to
do that so. Funny.
Yep, another thing, we're just meant to be in each other's
lives. I know and I love it.
(30:44):
My mom actually was a an, excuseme, an elementary school teacher
and she taught 2nd grade for most of her career.
And I loved, oh, I loved going in the classroom and helping and
everything. But at the very end she asked me
to start reading to her the bookGoodnight Moon and.
(31:06):
That still brings me to. Tears.
Yep, me too. And I read it to my kids when
they were in the womb and when they were out.
And so I read it to her every night and it became this thing.
And she'd just be like, goodnight moon.
And you know, she always said, Ilove you to the moon and back
and. Wild.
Yeah, so I, and actually, when Idid her eulogy, I read that at
(31:30):
the end. And it's a very, you know, very
special book for to me for so many reasons.
But children's books, Yeah, thatmessage.
I mean, she wanted to hear this when she was 69 years old.
And, you know, I shared it at her eulogy, At the eulogy, I
read and everybody came up to meand thanked me for reading it.
(31:52):
And so, yeah, the messages that come through in books, whether
they're children's books or, youknow, self help book, self help
books, they're profound. Totally.
Maybe we need to write. Maybe we need to co-author a
book that's a picture book children's style, but for women.
(32:12):
Oh, there you go. I love it.
My, my greatness swirling now. But OK, let's get back to our
book that we have now because I know you and I, we're dreamers
for sure. And we will put this out into
the universe and all of a suddenwe're going to start attracting
all of this girl. OK, so without giving too much
away, what is 1 powerful messageor moment from your chapter that
(32:35):
you really hope hits home for the readers?
I really hope that people recognize through this that
choice is truly, you know, people say superpowers a lot
lately, but it truly is a superpower.
Our brains are amazing, absolutely amazing.
And when you work to train your brain and to teach your brain,
(32:59):
because truthfully, our brains are not our friends.
And I, I learned that from my brain science teacher, Gregory
Karamans. And he told us your brain is not
your friend. Your brain is here to get you to
survive. So it's going to do whatever it
needs to get you to survive. So fear, let's stop.
(33:21):
You know, that's why we procrastinate so many things.
But you have that power over your brain to make it make
choices that are good for you. Yeah.
So I I'm curious for you in thispart, did anything unexpected
come up for you during the process of writing your story?
(33:42):
I think, I don't know if it was really unexpected, but just the
sadness that I have for who I used to be, the sadness that I
have from my mom's choice to have to compartmentalize.
And I know that the stress was part of what happened to her in
(34:05):
getting sick and the sadness forpeople who don't realize they
have that power of choice. So it it kind of fueled me even
more to make sure that my voice is heard.
Yeah, definitely. I I definitely feel that.
I think all of our gosh, you know, I think about this book
and I know all the stories for the women that are in the book
(34:28):
and I haven't read, you know, wehaven't read each other's
chapters yet. So it's going to be a surprise
for all of us, although we know the you know, we know the
message, we know the story. And boy, are there some
powerhouse stories in this. And what you know, I know how
(34:48):
what I feel about this. But I want to ask you, who do
you hope picks up this book and what do you want them to feel or
know by the time they turn the last page?
I hope Me 20 to 30 years Ago picks up this book.
I hope that somebody who's either recognizing that they are
(35:11):
ready for change, they're on thecusp of it, they're right there
teetering, or even somebody who's maybe not quite realized
it, but it's kind of on the outer skirts of their brain and
the awareness hasn't quite gotten there, but they're
starting to recognize that something's not right.
I hope that those people who need it need these messages that
(35:35):
you are, you are, you are enough, You are beautiful,
you're brave, you're strong, you're everything.
Because these stories are definitely very powerful.
And if they can help somebody figure out that OK, I need to be
aware and start to make whateverchanges I need to make, I hope
(35:59):
that they pick it up. Yeah.
And then just for just for today, as we're kind of rounding
this out, we of course still have our little fun game we'll
be playing. But before we round this out, if
someone is listening today and is, you know, I know this is,
it's not meant to be a pun, but if they're standing at the edge
of their own chapter, what is one thing that you would say to
(36:21):
them right now? I would say you're stronger than
you believe you are and to standup and do it.
Yeah, stronger than you believe.You are so good.
So good. All right, girl.
Well, I know we could be on hereforever because we do talk about
(36:42):
how you and I are both very longwinded and we will go all day if
you allow. But this has been amazing and
just so much to take in. But before I let you go today,
we always do something. It's called Spark and Spill.
It's just a fun little way to get to know because sometimes we
get really heavy in here and we're like OK, now we just need
(37:04):
to know the fun parts of our guests.
So for. The fun and the D whatever
today, yeah. Exactly.
OK. All right.
So are you willing to play with us today?
Absolutely. Bring it on.
Awesome. OK, So you're just going to say
the first thing that comes to mind.
This is not meant to be high pressured stakes here.
There's, there's no cash involved my friend, but we're
(37:24):
getting up on with it. OK, so I love music and I love
to hear what other people think about it.
So I'd love to know what is a goto song that shifts your mood
instantly. Oh, there's so many.
Music is music saved me when I was younger.
And so it's a very, very powerful tool.
(37:45):
And I will say that one of the songs that I can't get out of my
head is Walk by the Foo Fighters.
And We're going to. Say Foo Fighters.
Yep, it's I'm a rock girl overall, but there's just such a
powerful message in that song where he was talking about his
experience with Kurt Cobain because it's Dave Grohl from the
original Nirvana, and he was talking about literally watching
(38:09):
his child learning how to walk and about making changes in your
life. So it's a very powerful song and
it's got it kicks so. You guys, if you haven't heard
it yet, go back and listen to it.
Or if you have heard it and you're like, oh, I never like
thought about or I haven't thought about that one in a long
time. Go back and listen.
This is why I love playing this game.
And then of course, we always love to know a drink order.
(38:30):
So coffee, tea or what? What is another favorite drink?
If that, those aren't one of them.
Oh, this is going to make me sound bad, all right.
Number one is water. I drank that pretty much
primarily. But number 2 is definitely a
Cosmo or a lemon Drop any day, no?
That's I just wasn't sure if youwere going to reveal it, but I
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
(38:53):
OK, so how about a quote or mantra that you're loving
lately? It's funny that you say that.
I just ordered this book becausemy friend Christine does nature
photography on her own. Not professional.
I keep asking her, write a book,you know, do a book, like a
coffee table book. But she lives in Vermont.
(39:13):
It's just the stunning scenery and everything.
And so she posted one of my favorite flowers the other day,
a Lotus, and used the quote, no mud, no Lotus.
And it's a book actually. So no mud, no Lotus.
If you don't have the mud, you're not going to get the
flower. And that's like life.
Yep. OK.
(39:34):
And Speaking of books, is there a favorite book or podcast that
you would recommend? I love so many.
I will say one of the ones that really started speaking to me
when I very first started listening to podcasts was Trent
Shelton. He has his podcast where he just
(39:54):
talks and he's super authentic and very real.
He's a former NFL player and he has, you know, been through it
and has found, you know, he was one of those original.
Kind of personal development people.
And I just love how he talks andhe gets real excited and he's
yelling and he's like, I need tocalm down and I'm like no, keep
going. I love it.
No, yeah, that's that's awesome.OK, good.
(40:17):
I love that because that's this is one of secret, you know,
truth be told, here is the reason why I love to do this is
because I love to give our audience like other songs,
books, quotes, different things that they can ponder, they can
look at, they can check it out because that's what we're all
about here is to so inspire women through stories and
(40:38):
through information. So last question, if you could
go back and tell yourself one thing, what would it be your
younger? You are so beautiful and strong,
don't listen to anybody else. So good.
(40:59):
And I know that that has been big learning for you in
particular. It's big learning for me.
It's. Hard to say actually.
Hard to say, right? Especially the beautiful part.
Yeah, I, I, I can relate to thisand I, I have a feeling that
there are other women out there that can relate.
And I again, we talk about this a lot in our world of how we
(41:25):
talk to ourselves. Now it's, you know, when we
think about that younger self, you know, we always ask that
question, what, how would you talk to your younger self?
What would you tell her? And so when you connect with
that younger self, whoa, it's sopowerful because of course we
would tell her that she's beautiful and that she's strong
(41:48):
and she's all the things. But for whatever reason, we go
through life and all of a suddenwe become adults and it's harder
to see that in ourselves. We see different things.
We see the hard, we see the faults, we see the wrinkles, we
see all the things, right? And so I love that that you
know, you are beautiful and you are strong.
(42:08):
So Heather, I just have to say thank you so much for just
sharing your heart and sharing your story.
All the wisdom today. It's so good.
And if you're listening and feeling that tug that maybe it's
time to reclaim your power and rewrite your story, just know
that you're not alone because weare walking this right alongside
(42:31):
of you. And this is exactly why we are
so excited about the upcoming book Co authoring together.
It's called Rise, How to find your people, power and purpose
as you rise to success. So it is going to be filled with
stories like Heathers that remind us what's possible and
(42:53):
when we stop letting our past define us and start choosing our
next chapter. And I want you to hear this on
purpose. Choosing it on purpose.
I, I just have chills right now.I am so stinking excited.
I want you to also make sure that you're staying connected
(43:13):
with Heather. Her links are going to be all in
the show notes. So keep your eyes out for the
book that's dropping later this summer.
But also check out the show notes so you can be in touch
with Heather personally. And until next time, keep her
eyes and keep shining and know your best day is waiting right
here for you today. All right you guys.
(43:35):
Bye Heather and bye friend. I thank you so much.
Thank you. Thanks for joining me here
today. Your presence means the world to
me. If you enjoyed what you heard,
please consider leaving a ratingand review and don't forget to
follow or subscribe so you nevermiss an episode.
Head to the show notes and let'sconnect.
Rise to Shine Co is ready to support you in coaching,
(43:57):
collaboration, light tips, or even a coffee chat.
Until next time, keep shining myfriends.
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