November 18, 2025 • 43 mins
What if this was the year you protected your peace instead of your to-do list?
So many women walk into this season already exhausted, already overextended, and already bracing themselves for the chaos. If that’s you, take a breath. This episode will help you shift from surviving the holidays to actually enjoying them again.
In Part 2 of my Glow Through the Holidays series, I’m sharing how I moved from overwhelm and emotional spending into intentional planning, clarity, and joy. This is not about doing more. It’s about simplifying what matters, protecting your energy, and creating a season you can genuinely fall in love with.
This is your invitation to design a holiday rhythm that supports your peace, honors your values, and helps you show up as the most grounded, present version of yourself.
✔️ How to redefine “enough” so you stop overdoing
✔️ A simple pause-and-check method to prevent emotional spending
✔️ The 3 steps to planning a calmer, more meaningful season
You don’t need a perfect holiday. You need a peaceful one. You deserve to feel connected, centered, and fully present in the moments you work so hard to create.
Stay with me through this series as we move from holiday pressure to holiday purpose, one intentional step at a time.
🎧 Listen now and give yourself the gift of a calmer season.
Episode Highlights
00:00 – Welcome and Setting the Tone for a Calmer Season
01:10 – Why Women Carry the Holiday Pressure
04:10 – Redefining Enough and Letting Go of Perfection
10:25 – From Survival Mode to Intentional Living
16:45 – Simplify What Truly Matters This Year
20:55 – Preparing with Intention and Spending Boundaries
26:00 – Emotional vs Intentional Shopping and the Pause-and-Check Method
37:55 – Your Holiday Mission Statement and This Week’s Glow Step
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the rise to shine podcast with Noel costis where
we ignite the spark to discover your favorite self it is time to
get real ladies. Hello, hello, and welcome to the
Rise to Shine podcast. I'm your host, Noel Costis.
Over the last several years, I have made myself a promise that
(00:25):
the holidays would become simpler or peaceful and even
more special, not because I'm doing more, but because I'm more
prepared in body, mind and spirit.
And today I want to share what that really means.
(00:46):
And that is why I am so excited that you're here today because
we're going to be just really getting into a topic that every
woman, especially every Mama, I think needs to hear before the
holidays take over. And it's all about mindset
planning and intentional living through the holiday season.
(01:09):
Now, before you roll your eyes and think, oh, the holidays,
I've got this handled. Whatever.
I don't want to listen to this. Like some of you don't even want
to deal with the holidays. Others of you are like, Nope,
got it done. We're good.
I want you to pause for a secondbecause I know you.
You have been through enough seasons to know that handled,
(01:29):
and I say that in quotes, doesn't always mean peaceful.
You can be organized. You can be prepared and still
feel like the weight of the season lands squarely on your
shoulders. Who's with me here?
This episode isn't just about shopping or budgeting.
It's about how we approach the holidays as women who do it all.
(01:54):
And This is why you might be dreading it, or again, looking
forward to it, but thinking you're going to make it
different this time. I want you to really, really
believe in that. And I want you to be in a space
where you're shifting from survival mode to intentional
mode. I want you to shift from the
(02:16):
chaos to the calm, from maybe you're in the place of I just
want to get through it to actually feeling good while you
move through it. Because this time of year, let's
face it, it can be super magicalfor some, but it can also be
(02:36):
super messy, or it can just evenbe a combination of both.
It can bring a ton of joy, but it also brings pressure.
I know this. I am not in denial.
Even though I am all about the holidays and I love, love, love
them, I know that there's so pressure around it.
And for so many of us, especially moms, it can feel
(02:57):
like we're trying to make it beautiful for everyone else
while we are actually secretly running on empty.
So today, we're going to just slow down together.
We're going to talk about mindset, we're going to talk
about planning, and we're going to talk about how we can
approach this season with more peace, more purpose and joy,
(03:19):
without the guilt, without the overwhelm, and without the
burnout. So here's my goal today is that
by the end of this episode, you're going to have tangible
steps and mindset shifts to helpyou reclaim your peace, protect
your energy, and actually enjoy the holidays this year.
(03:41):
And actually, because when you enjoy the holidays, everyone
else around you gets to enjoy the holidays as well.
And maybe talking to someone in particular there because you
deserve to feel good in the season that you pour so much
love into. And just a little heads up, this
(04:03):
is actually going to be a Part 1of a special two-part holiday
series because next week I'm going to be sharing my holiday
gift giving guide. And that's going to be filled
with lots of meaningful, intentional ideas to make
shopping simpler, but also to feel good from your soul.
And that one is just, you know, going to happened to be right
(04:28):
before Black Friday, just in time to grab some amazing deals.
And trust me, I'll be offering up something extra juicy and
special that you're not going towant to miss.
So let's start with the truth. For most women, the holidays
come with pressure. We want to make it beautiful.
We want to create all these memories.
(04:48):
We want everyone around us to feel loved and seen.
And because of that, we often, what do we often do, ladies?
We often overextend our time, our energy and our pocketbooks,
our money. There's this little quiet
narrative that so many of us carry that says, if I can just
(05:11):
make it perfect, then everyone will be happy.
But I have come to learn the hard way that perfection doesn't
create peace. It actually creates more
pressure. And this psychology behind it is
actually really powerful, you guys.
Studies show that over 90% of holiday purchases are emotion
(05:34):
driven. We buy based on how we want to
feel or how we want others to feel.
Not from need, but from emotion.OK, so I'm talking from
everything from gift giving to buying the food to buying the
decor, all of the activities, all of it.
And advertisers. Here's the thing, you guys, they
(05:54):
know this and they're going to sell us stories disguised as
solutions. So this is what I want you to be
aware of. If you buy this, your family
will feel complete. If your home looks like this,
you'll finally feel calm. If you give this, it means
you're a good mom. It means you're a Good Wife.
It means you're a good friend. But here is the truth.
(06:19):
Peace is not going to come in a box, a bow or a delivery truck.
Peace comes from clarity and alignment and that why we need
to talk about all of this. But before we talk about
planning or budgeting, we have to talk about the why behind
what it is that we do. Because when we're clear on
(06:40):
that, everything else will flow differently.
I promise you it will all start to flow differently.
Because for years I went into holidays on autopilot.
I had a lot of guilt. I had a desperate and and when I
say desperate, I mean desperate desire to make everyone else
(07:01):
happy. And I was like running from an
empty cup because years ago, andI've talked about this before on
the podcast, everyone around me did not love the holidays.
My glam gram was the only other person that understood my love
for the holidays. And she probably ran around with
her chicken with like a chicken with a head cut off, much the
(07:25):
same as I did probably when she was a young mom and when she
was, you know, being grandma andmom.
And we had all the holidays at her house because believe me,
all the holidays growing up wereat her house, especially when it
came to Christmas. And I can only imagine how much
she put into that, OK. And what we were always trying
(07:51):
to do and what I was always trying to do every year was make
everyone else happy. And I ended up always feeling
overwhelmed, overstimulated. And here's the worst part is I
was always quietly disappointed that I'd missed the magic I was
trying so hard to create. And so as I started like just
(08:16):
kind of doing work around this and just kind of recognizing
this, when I became a single mom, especially, this is when
things started to change for me because I had to start to re
evaluate what the holidays looked like.
And then I asked myself one day a question that honestly, I feel
like it changed everything. There's going to be a lot of
questions in this podcast that I'm going to have you asking
(08:38):
yourself, because this is what Ihad to do.
I had to get curious. And I asked the question, what
if I made this season feel good for me too?
What does that look like? And that one shift, that one
question, honestly changed everything because it reminded
me that my piece mattered too inall of this.
(09:00):
And you guys, it's a ripple effect.
Whatever we are doing in our ownlives is what is going to, you
know, be the ripple effect for our family and everybody else
around us. So I could still love them.
I could still give, I could still show up, but I wanted to
(09:20):
show up differently. I wanted to show up in a place
of joy in a, in a place where I felt grounded and not always
exhausted. And that's what I want for you.
So we're going to start right here by redefining what enough
really looks like. OK, so if you've ever caught
yourself kind of saying like, will this ever be enough?
(09:43):
Is this ever going to be enough?Oh my gosh, is this ever enough?
Is your spousing, honey? Is this ever going to be enough
for you? Enough gifts, enough moments,
enough magic, enough effort? I just want you to know you're
not alone if you've ever thoughtthat, or if you have a husband
or spouse that's asking you that.
Because we, as women, are typically masters at overdoing,
(10:06):
we convince ourselves that if wejust give a little more, if we
just plan a little bit better, push a little bit harder, we'll
finally feel that deep exhale that we have been chasing.
But here is the truth. Enough isn't about quantity,
(10:26):
it's about your energy. Let me explain this.
You can do less and feel more fulfilled if you're grounded in
peace and purpose. You can actually, I know this
may shock you for some. You can actually give fewer
gifts and have more meaning if those gifts are coming from the
(10:48):
heart. You can plan less perfectly OK,
and still create something unforgettable when your presence
leads the way. So here is the mindset shift I
want you to anchor into enough. OK?
The word enough, The meaning of enough is not something you buy
(11:12):
or prove. It's something you get to
decide. You get to decide what enough
is. You decide when you've done
enough, when you've given enough, when you've been enough.
And the moment that you make that decision, the pressure is
going to start to dissolve. I promise you.
(11:35):
Because here's the thing, how many of you feel exhausted
because you're striving. You're always striving.
That becomes exhausting. So you're going to get to
rewrite these rules this year. You're going to get to decide
that your worth is not measured by the number of gifts you give
(11:58):
or the food that you cook or thehouse that you decorate.
Your worth. Hear me out here is not up for
debate. It's not so as we really like
dig into this episode because it's going to be a good one.
You're going to want to grab, you're going to want to grab a
(12:19):
piece of paper, you're going to want to grab a pen or you're
going to want to like go back tosome of these parts because I'm
going to give you some really awesome Nuggets, things that
have helped to transform and things that are continuing to
help me transform the holiday. So just take a deep breath with
me right now. Take a deep breath because
(12:39):
you're like, oh, here we go. I want you to look at this with
hopefulness and just excitement because this season does not
have to be a perfect version of you.
It needs to be the present version of you.
I've been talking about this so much on podcast recently.
I really want this to be the calm, intentional, grace filled
(13:04):
version of you. And so remember I said you're
going to ask yourself a lot of questions.
So I want you to ask this question.
Actually, I'm going to ask you 2questions.
One is, will this add joy or stress?
Write it down. Will this add joy or stress?
And the second question is, am Idoing this out of love or am I
(13:26):
doing this out of guilt? Am I doing this out of love or
am I doing this out of guilt? Because those two questions are
going to be your compass. Because here's the thing, when
you act from guilt, you start tolose yourself.
And when you act from love, everything else just starts to
shift. It starts to soften a little
bit. So when the not enough, and I
(13:48):
put that in quotes, air quotes for those of you watching.
So when the not enough voice shows up and it's going to try
saying this instead, I am enough.
What I give is enough. The way I show up is enough.
Because remember, we get to decide that.
And it's not making you any lessthan, it's not making you lazy.
(14:11):
It just makes things more aligned.
And when things are more aligned, you're going to be
amazed at how different your energy feels when you lead from
a place of peace instead of all this pressure all the time.
And here's the thing, like I said, it's the ripple effect.
Your kids, your partner, your family, they don't need you to
be perfect. They want you to be present.
(14:34):
That's what they need. They need you to be laughing,
and they want your attention. They want you to feel the love,
not all of the exhaustion, that this is hard, that this is a
pain, that this is frustrating to you.
And that, my friend, is what makes this season truly enough.
(14:55):
Ha. Do you feel that?
Just that little breath that youtake, that you can go, OK, I'm
hearing you. That's what it starts to feel
like when you start letting go of the pressure and you start
stepping into the piece as you start to kind of be able to just
go, OK, let's see, let's do this.
(15:19):
And so the next, this is what the next part is going to be
about is it's going to be about clarity, because clarity is what
is going to create more of the calmness.
Because let's be honest, most ofthe stress we feel during the
holidays doesn't come from what we do.
It comes from how unprepared we feel while we're doing it.
(15:46):
So if we are in a space of reacting or if we're rushing
around or if we're just winging it, everything starts to feel
heavy. But when we move with intention,
there's this space, there's thisease that happens, and then
there becomes room for joy because that's the whole thing.
I mean, freedom is such a core value of mine.
(16:09):
And that's what this is about. Is it creating that freedom?
Freedom from panicking, freedom from all the guilt, freedom from
the last minute chaos that always leaves?
I don't know about you, but it leaves me wondering why I'm
crying. And you know the Target parking
lot as I'm hustling around like a crazy woman.
(16:33):
I think we've all been there. So I want to help you plan the
season in a way that honors you and honors your peace and
doesn't steal it. And it's all about designing a
season that works for you, not against you.
So number one is you're going tosimplify.
(16:55):
This is where we're going to begin.
Ask yourself what actually matters this year.
If you need to journal it out, journal it out.
Talk to your family about what actually matters this year to
us. Maybe for you it's going to be,
I really want to have some slow mornings with the kids.
I want to have more laughter andnights out with my friends.
(17:18):
I want to get back to my community.
I want to be able to volunteer some time during this season or
I just don't want to be like dead on the ground on December
26th because I am flipping exhausted and trying to recover
from October 31st till December 25th.
Oh yeah. And then there's New Year's Eve
(17:38):
for those of you that celebrate that, right?
So choose your top two or three priorities and then start to let
the rest go. Because here's the thing, when
everything matters, when you're trying to do all of it, guess
what happens? Nothing actually ends up getting
(17:59):
done or matter. Not not that it doesn't get
done. It doesn't matter as much
because it's just like a chore. It's just another thing to do.
So simplifying isn't about cutting things out and cutting
out your joy. It's about actually clearing
more space so you can be more creative, so you can do the
things that you really, really, really want to that you really
(18:24):
value. Because sometimes we're so busy
trying to squeeze it all in thatit ends up kind of going like,
eh, here's an example of that. So one of the things is my
grandma loves to go around and look at lights, Christmas
lights. This is like her thing.
We all get in our cars, we pick a night, we go, we typically
(18:46):
stop and we go to like Sonic or In-n-out Burger.
It's like her thing. She just loves to do that
afterwards. Or we go get an ice cream at one
of our favorite spots and it's what we all do.
And it's so funny because it's just like a non negotiable.
(19:07):
It's just something that we do and it's way more meaningful
when we're not trying to cram itin when we actually are like
this is a non negotiable. This is like top of our list.
That and our baking. Those are the two things that
are non negotiables. And when we plan them and we're
(19:29):
not trying to cram it in, it is so much more enjoyable.
And we and then when we're not trying to cram everything else
and we can make that time even more special and more fun
because we have the space and the capacity to be able to do
that. So this leads me to #2 prepare.
Once you know what matters, it'stime to prepare.
And this starts to feel really empowering and fun.
(19:54):
So here's the thing, if we're taught, here's an example.
If you are talking about like, OK, I need to start preparing
the budget, set your spending intention.
Not just a budget, but an energyboundary.
And I want you to say it out loud.
This is my budget and this is what I can joyfully spend.
(20:16):
Like literally you go, this is where this is my limit.
These are the limits that I'm going to put on things because
in that within that I am joyfully spending it.
I want to, I've set an intentionaround it.
I'm not like in that place of just like, Oh my gosh, money's
just flying everywhere. I'm just spending, spending,
spending. And then you start spending
(20:37):
things on dumb gifts and like things that don't even really
matter. How many have you been there?
Like I have, but when I set a budget that's intentional, then
I'm like, oh, this is fun. We had a thing that we used to
go into this. Oh my gosh, this like really
dates me. But this was a long time ago
when I was single mom and didn'thave a lot of money to spend
(21:02):
extra. And so I remember us going to
the dollar store, me and my kidsand we were like, OK, here, here
is, I forget, I think we did like 10 or $15.
Everybody gets 10 or $15. And these are like the little
gifts for like fun, little quoteUN quote, stocking stuffers that
we would hand out or that we would get like these were just
(21:25):
like the, and let me tell you, we joyfully did this.
It was so much fun picking thesethings out because we have the
budget. We knew how much we could spend
and we wanted to get creative. OK, so you can even break it
down. So let's say you have a $100
budget for each kid. I'm just throwing numbers out.
(21:47):
Break it into 3 meaningful categories.
Memories, OK, things that createconnection.
So that could be like experiences, traditions, quality
time. So maybe maybe that day you're
like, OK, well, here's my budget, but what memories do I
want to create? You might have to spend money on
(22:09):
that, but maybe it's not that you have and maybe there's no
money around it. And then the second one would be
meaning. So these are thoughtful gifts
that hold value or significance.OK.
And then also when you're out doing all the things, think of
yourself. So memories meaning myself,
myself is something that replenishes you.
(22:33):
Because here's the thing, your piece fuels the entire season.
Most of the time it's momma. Most of the time it's the woman
in the family that's out there fueling the season.
So when you start to plan this way, you don't feel deprived.
You actually feel directed. You actually feel like, oh, I've
(22:55):
got a purpose like this feels good.
You're not reacting to every sale, You're not reacting to
every expectation because you'rechoosing from a calm place and
you're confident because you've already started to prepare.
So you already know. And here's the thing, planning
(23:17):
doesn't remove some of that spontaneity because sometimes
that's fun. But what it does is it starts to
remove some of the stress and itgives you like a really great
foundation to work from. So when those like really sweet
spontaneous moments do happen, you're actually present enough
(23:38):
to notice them and to enjoy them.
And then the third one is personalized.
Now this is where it gets reallybeautiful.
Instead of creating a gift list based on obligation, create one
on values. So here's why I want you to ask
yourself again, I want to write these down.
What would make this person feelso loved?
(24:00):
What would make this person feelso loved?
And then what could we do together that would mean more
than any other thing? What can we do together that
would mean more than any other thing?
You actually might be surprised how often the answer isn't stuff
(24:24):
like how many times. Oh, just more stuff.
It might be a coffee date. It might be you giving someone a
handwritten note. Maybe it's a homemade dinner.
Maybe it's an experience you canshare.
This is how we reconnect the heart back to giving, because
(24:46):
when we personalize it, we shiftfrom that whole thing of
performance to purpose. And that is where our piece
actually lives. Not in how much you buy, but in
why you buy it. Why are you buying those things?
Why are you doing those things? When you put all of that into
(25:09):
action, something magical startsto happen and you start to
actually feel ahead of things. You start to feel more relaxed
and you start to remember that this season isn't meant to drain
you. It's meant to feel.
I always just like, think of theword delightful and joy.
(25:31):
It's meant to feel that way. So as you begin planning, take a
little time to reflect on that. Write down your top three
priorities, create your spendingintention, and design your list
with love and not pressure. Because when you plan from a
place of peace, I'm going to keep saying this, everything
(25:52):
that follows feels lighter. OK, so now that we've talked a
little bit about mindset and planning, let's talk about the
part that can either bring peaceor more chaos this time of year,
and that is shopping. Like actually doing the
shopping. And again, before you roll your
(26:12):
eyes at me, please don't or don't tense your shoulders.
Don't get stressed. Just take a deep breath with me
if you need to because this isn't about more lists or more
rules. This is about empowerment.
So what this whole episode is about, it's about reclaiming
your piece before you hit add tocart, because shopping can
(26:34):
actually be a really awesome expression of love and
creativity. So when it comes from intention
rather than impulse, it can be really beautiful.
It's when we start buying from stress or from guilt or from I
have to energy. That's when things start to
spiral. Think about that when you're at
(26:57):
the last minute and you're doingall of the things and you don't
really have things planned. I don't know about you, but
that's when I start buying like,Oh my gosh, I haven't gotten
enough. I haven't done enough.
Oh my gosh, I need to get one more thing.
Oh, but I don't know, like I'm going through my list and I
don't really feel like I've got the one thing that they would
love. So now I'm going to search
everywhere and make myself crazyto try to find it.
(27:22):
That becomes stressful. And here is the truth.
Our spending actually tells a story.
Every dollar that we spend is a vote for the kind of season we
want to create. So the goal here isn't to stop
shopping, it's to start shoppingwith your heart.
And I know that sounds corny, but there's a little method that
(27:47):
I have that I've started to use and it really, really, really is
helpful. And it's called I, well, I don't
know, I just call it the pause and check method.
This is one of the simplest yet powerful tools that I use and I
teach it to women that I work with.
So before you click add to cart,before you grab anything on
(28:10):
sale, before you say yes to thatlike massive deal, I want you to
just pause. And I want you to take a deep
breath and ask yourself 2 questions.
Remember, we're always asking. It's when we get curious that we
start to really make a difference.
So you're going to ask yourself,am I buying this from peace or
from panic? And does this align with how I
(28:32):
want to feel this season? And you're going to be shocked
at how often this small little pause will save you time.
It's going to save you money andit's going to save you energy.
Because if your answer feels really calm and light, that's
peace. Go for it, but if it feels like
(28:54):
really rushed and it feels pressured or it feels like
you're trying to fill a void, that's panic and that's when
you're going to want to step back.
And that is how we start retraining our spending patterns
because our spending patterns get really emotional.
(29:15):
So you want to create some awareness before the action.
That's why I love doing some of this work ahead of time, and
that's why I love when I go out and I start to do the shopping.
I've already asked these questions I have, and I have so
much room for getting better at this.
And I'm learning more as I go. And I kind of like investigate
(29:37):
this and think about this. I'm like reflecting what worked
last year, what didn't work lastyear.
And one of the things that I recognize for sure is when I
feel prepared and when I'm intentional about it, I
definitely, definitely feel moreexcitement around it.
And I feel like I'm not restricted because I'm not only
(30:05):
honoring my budget and the bank account, but I'm also honoring
my heart. So I made this really, really
easy because I was like, how canI make this easy to remember?
I did 3 CS of intentional shopping.
You want to hear me out here? So three CS of intentional
shopping and I just feel like the simpler we can do it.
(30:26):
This is the teacher and me. I love to love to find ways to
keep things simple so I can remember so conscious know why
you're buying. Ask what emotion am I chasing
with this purchase? If it's joy, if it's connection,
great. But if it's guilt comparison
(30:46):
anxiety, take the pause. So being conscious, OK second
see is being creative. So think outside of the box.
Literally. Literally think outside of the
present. Think outside of the box.
Sometimes the most meaningful and most beautiful gifts aren't
store bought. Their experiences, their acts of
(31:06):
service or something that speaksto who that person really is
because that's when they're going to feel seen.
That's when they feel the most loved, when it's coming from
something that is so meaningful to them.
So get creative. Maybe it's a day together.
Maybe it's something that you frame and it's like a memory and
(31:27):
every time they look at it, they're smiling because they're
like, Oh my gosh, that was so great.
Think outside of the box. So be creative.
So conscious, creative and connected.
Shop with purpose, not just for things, but for the impact that
you're going to make. And here's where I can squeeze
in. I love this.
Support local, support women owned businesses, support the
(31:52):
artisans out there, support other brands that align with
your values. Yes, I'm going to have a gift
giving guide. It's going to include all sorts
of things, some of which you're going to be able to grab on
Amazon, some of which you're going to be able to look for and
find in your local community, some of which won't cost any
(32:13):
money, and it's just an idea of something you can do.
So we're going to talk about allof those in part too.
But again, when you spend intentionally, your money
circulates good energy. I believe this.
And that creates the ripple effect in our own communities,
in just in the world, in society.
(32:33):
All of it feels good because it actually is doing good.
And that's, you know, where I'vestarted to and this is like
newer in my world. It's like understanding the
energy of exchange because I want you to think about shopping
this way. Every purchase is an exchange of
energy. You're trading.
(32:54):
So think, if you think about it,when you go shopping, you're
trading your time, your effort and your money for something you
hope will bring joy to somebody else, something that you hope
will be meaningful, something you hope will create a
connection. So again, the question becomes,
is this exchange worth it? Does it serve your values?
(33:18):
We don't go work hard to just buy a bunch of junk, right?
We want it to be meaningful. So when you start looking at
shopping as an energy exchange, you begin to kind of notice more
and you get to choose a little differently and you're no longer
reacting to all of the noise. You're actually responding from
(33:39):
what actually feels good. And that is where the power is,
in my opinion. And that's when you get to stop
trying to keep up. You aren't trying to prove
yourself, and you start giving from purpose.
That is the shift that's shopping with your heart.
And I want you before we move on, I just, I want to invite you
(34:02):
to reimagine what giving looks like for you this year because
giving when it's done with that intention is one of the most
healing, beautiful energies there is.
I truly believe that. And when you're thinking about
the holidays creating, even sitting, if you're someone that
you know does Thanksgiving, if you're someone that celebrates
(34:25):
Hanukkah or Christmas, whatever that is for you, think about who
in your life truly needs my timemore than my money.
How can I make someone feel seen, not just like excited over
a gift? And what if I gave gifts that
(34:48):
supported more connection? I mean, what is it that is
important to you and to them? Because don't forget yourself in
that giving. OK, so this is where I want you
to give yourself permission. This is the giving part to you.
(35:09):
Give yourself permission to rest.
Give yourself a moment of stillness.
Give yourself grace too. Doesn't have to be perfect.
You deserve just as much as you give.
You deserve that too. I don't want you feeling
resentful that you gave and gaveand gave and then you didn't
(35:33):
feel like anything was given back to you.
Give back to yourself, take careof yourself.
It's like putting on your own oxygen mask 1st.
And when we bring mindset and planning and intentional
shopping together, we actually create something so powerful
because we're showing our families and we're proving to
(35:55):
ourselves and we're being honestwith ourselves and keeping our
truths. We're keeping it all in motion
and it just ripples out to everybody.
And what it will do is instead of, and this is what I'm finding
instead of feeling drained at the end of the season on the
26th of December, I actually love it.
(36:21):
I actually love how I feel the day after Christmas, Not
because, oh thank God, it's all over.
I actually have a little melancholy because I have
started to create these beautiful, you know, just
experiences and holidays in the last several years.
Even when I have the big fall, because the big fall happened on
Christmas Eve. And even that day, because I was
(36:44):
working so hard to create, but Iwas under all this pressure
feeling, and I put that on myself.
I was going to use grandma's China.
I was going to do all the things.
I was going to make it so special.
And then I take this huge fall and I can't do anything but sit
in a recliner, face all beat up and I'm completely drugged out
just to not feel the pain. But I will tell you that the
(37:04):
things that I had done beforehand to prepare, it ended
up being like still such a beautiful day.
Because I know we know this. What really matters is not
what's under the tree. It's about how we feel when
(37:26):
we're sitting around the tree. If you're someone that
celebrates Christmas. So let's take another breath
together. We're going to wrap this up.
We've just walked through a lot,I know.
But I don't want this to feel like another To Do List.
This isn't about doing more, it's about doing it differently
and just taking some small shifts and practicing them.
(37:47):
Create creating the change through consistency.
K, So here's how I'm gonna wrap it up.
All of the things that we've talked about, I want you to
create your holiday mission statement.
Yep, I know that sounds crazy. Create your holiday mission
statement before the list, before the parties, before all
(38:11):
of the things. Just today or in the next couple
of days, pause and ask yourself,how do I want this season to
feel? How do I want it to feel?
And then write it down. Maybe it's peaceful, maybe it's
slow. Maybe it's simple.
Maybe it's full of joy. Connected.
(38:32):
That is going to be how you're going to lead.
And when things start to feel out of whack, you're going to go
back to this. How do I want it to feel?
And if something doesn't align with that feeling, it's OK to
say no. And then I want you to choose
just one of the peaceful planning steps.
(38:54):
Just one. So it can be spending with
intention. It could be making a values
based list or identifying your top priorities.
You don't have to organize all of it today.
Just take one. Just just take one small step
that tells your brain, I'm leading the season with
intention. If you want to do more, great,
(39:16):
but just do the 1 mission statement and then just picking
one of the planning steps. And then the last thing I'm
going to just remind you of is practice the pause.
Every time you reach for your wallet, your calendar, your
phone, take a pause and ask, am I doing this from peace or
pressure? That single question will
(39:38):
recenter you faster than any strategy because peace isn't
found in perfection, it's found in presence.
I'm going to say it again and again and again.
These aren't big old flashy steps.
I know they're just. I just want them to be small,
powerful ones that bring you back to yourself and that feel
(40:00):
good. As we're walking into the
holidays and as we're walking into the season, because I know
it's not always easy for everyone and for those of you
that do really love it like it go, it's a win win for
everybody. It's a win win for those that
kind of dread this season. But then it's also a win for
those of you that want to live this season better.
(40:23):
There's like my friend Lachelle says, there's a good, better
best, right? So we're always looking at that.
I just don't want you to lose yourself in the process of this
because I don't want it to be negotiable.
I don't want your piece to be negotiable.
So as we wrap up today, I want you to remember that you're
(40:44):
allowed to enjoy this season. You're allowed to slow down.
You're allowed to say no. You're allowed to simplify and
to make this year feel different.
So if today's conversation resonated and you're ready to
bring more calm and joy into thenext few weeks, I have also, in
(41:04):
addition put together a few of my favorite self-care
essentials. There is some on my Amazon
storefront. And it's just like some of the
little things that keep me grounded and centered as I
prepare for the season. OK, so I mean, you guys, I'm
talking about like the cozy, thepractical, all about taking care
(41:25):
of you while you're taking care of everyone else.
And you'll be able to find that link on the show notes.
And I'll be kind of putting these on my stories on Instagram
too, because I think those things are so important.
And I'll be sharing things that are not just on Amazon.
There is an Amazon storefront and being super real with you,
(41:46):
but there's also some products. There's also some, you know,
different things that I use between oils and supplements
that I take, things that I do. You can follow along on the
stories and we'll be talking about those things.
And I also really just hope thatyou're going to stay tuned right
here because next week we're going to continue this
(42:08):
conversation with, like I said, one of my favorite episodes of
the year. It's the Holiday Gift Giving
Guide. And it's made easy.
I really try to make it easy foryou.
And we're going to be talking fun, creative, meaningful ideas
that make gift giving feel effortless.
Plus, there will be some early Black Friday finds that you
won't want to miss. And yes, I am going to be
(42:29):
sharing something extra special that's coming exclusively for my
listeners, so make sure you're subscribed because that's going
to be good and it's going to be fun and I cannot wait.
Until then, give yourself permission to rest and take 1
peaceful step at a time. Remember, holidays don't have to
(42:50):
be perfect, you just need to be enough for you to feel good and
to feel present. And I just want to say thank you
so much for joining me today. Keep rising, keep shining, and
remember your best day is right here waiting for you.
Thanks friends, have a good one.Thanks for joining me here
(43:11):
today. Your presence means the world to
me. If you enjoyed what you heard,
please consider leaving a ratingand review and don't forget to
follow or subscribe so you nevermiss an episode.
Head to the show notes and let'sconnect.
Rise to Shine Co is ready to support you in coaching,
collaboration, light tips, or even a coffee chat.
(43:31):
Until next time, keep shining myfriends.
Welcome to the rise to shine podcast with Noel costis where
we ignite the spark to discover your favorite self it is time to
get real ladies. Hello, hello, and welcome to the
Rise to Shine podcast. I'm your host, Noel Costis.
Over the last several years, I have made myself a promise that
(00:25):
the holidays would become simpler or peaceful and even
more special, not because I'm doing more, but because I'm more
prepared in body, mind and spirit.
And today I want to share what that really means.
(00:46):
And that is why I am so excited that you're here today because
we're going to be just really getting into a topic that every
woman, especially every Mama, I think needs to hear before the
holidays take over. And it's all about mindset
planning and intentional living through the holiday season.
(01:09):
Now, before you roll your eyes and think, oh, the holidays,
I've got this handled. Whatever.
I don't want to listen to this. Like some of you don't even want
to deal with the holidays. Others of you are like, Nope,
got it done. We're good.
I want you to pause for a secondbecause I know you.
You have been through enough seasons to know that handled,
(01:29):
and I say that in quotes, doesn't always mean peaceful.
You can be organized. You can be prepared and still
feel like the weight of the season lands squarely on your
shoulders. Who's with me here?
This episode isn't just about shopping or budgeting.
It's about how we approach the holidays as women who do it all.
(01:54):
And This is why you might be dreading it, or again, looking
forward to it, but thinking you're going to make it
different this time. I want you to really, really
believe in that. And I want you to be in a space
where you're shifting from survival mode to intentional
mode. I want you to shift from the
(02:16):
chaos to the calm, from maybe you're in the place of I just
want to get through it to actually feeling good while you
move through it. Because this time of year, let's
face it, it can be super magicalfor some, but it can also be
(02:36):
super messy, or it can just evenbe a combination of both.
It can bring a ton of joy, but it also brings pressure.
I know this. I am not in denial.
Even though I am all about the holidays and I love, love, love
them, I know that there's so pressure around it.
And for so many of us, especially moms, it can feel
(02:57):
like we're trying to make it beautiful for everyone else
while we are actually secretly running on empty.
So today, we're going to just slow down together.
We're going to talk about mindset, we're going to talk
about planning, and we're going to talk about how we can
approach this season with more peace, more purpose and joy,
(03:19):
without the guilt, without the overwhelm, and without the
burnout. So here's my goal today is that
by the end of this episode, you're going to have tangible
steps and mindset shifts to helpyou reclaim your peace, protect
your energy, and actually enjoy the holidays this year.
(03:41):
And actually, because when you enjoy the holidays, everyone
else around you gets to enjoy the holidays as well.
And maybe talking to someone in particular there because you
deserve to feel good in the season that you pour so much
love into. And just a little heads up, this
(04:03):
is actually going to be a Part 1of a special two-part holiday
series because next week I'm going to be sharing my holiday
gift giving guide. And that's going to be filled
with lots of meaningful, intentional ideas to make
shopping simpler, but also to feel good from your soul.
And that one is just, you know, going to happened to be right
(04:28):
before Black Friday, just in time to grab some amazing deals.
And trust me, I'll be offering up something extra juicy and
special that you're not going towant to miss.
So let's start with the truth. For most women, the holidays
come with pressure. We want to make it beautiful.
We want to create all these memories.
(04:48):
We want everyone around us to feel loved and seen.
And because of that, we often, what do we often do, ladies?
We often overextend our time, our energy and our pocketbooks,
our money. There's this little quiet
narrative that so many of us carry that says, if I can just
(05:11):
make it perfect, then everyone will be happy.
But I have come to learn the hard way that perfection doesn't
create peace. It actually creates more
pressure. And this psychology behind it is
actually really powerful, you guys.
Studies show that over 90% of holiday purchases are emotion
(05:34):
driven. We buy based on how we want to
feel or how we want others to feel.
Not from need, but from emotion.OK, so I'm talking from
everything from gift giving to buying the food to buying the
decor, all of the activities, all of it.
And advertisers. Here's the thing, you guys, they
(05:54):
know this and they're going to sell us stories disguised as
solutions. So this is what I want you to be
aware of. If you buy this, your family
will feel complete. If your home looks like this,
you'll finally feel calm. If you give this, it means
you're a good mom. It means you're a Good Wife.
It means you're a good friend. But here is the truth.
(06:19):
Peace is not going to come in a box, a bow or a delivery truck.
Peace comes from clarity and alignment and that why we need
to talk about all of this. But before we talk about
planning or budgeting, we have to talk about the why behind
what it is that we do. Because when we're clear on
(06:40):
that, everything else will flow differently.
I promise you it will all start to flow differently.
Because for years I went into holidays on autopilot.
I had a lot of guilt. I had a desperate and and when I
say desperate, I mean desperate desire to make everyone else
(07:01):
happy. And I was like running from an
empty cup because years ago, andI've talked about this before on
the podcast, everyone around me did not love the holidays.
My glam gram was the only other person that understood my love
for the holidays. And she probably ran around with
her chicken with like a chicken with a head cut off, much the
(07:25):
same as I did probably when she was a young mom and when she
was, you know, being grandma andmom.
And we had all the holidays at her house because believe me,
all the holidays growing up wereat her house, especially when it
came to Christmas. And I can only imagine how much
she put into that, OK. And what we were always trying
(07:51):
to do and what I was always trying to do every year was make
everyone else happy. And I ended up always feeling
overwhelmed, overstimulated. And here's the worst part is I
was always quietly disappointed that I'd missed the magic I was
trying so hard to create. And so as I started like just
(08:16):
kind of doing work around this and just kind of recognizing
this, when I became a single mom, especially, this is when
things started to change for me because I had to start to re
evaluate what the holidays looked like.
And then I asked myself one day a question that honestly, I feel
like it changed everything. There's going to be a lot of
questions in this podcast that I'm going to have you asking
(08:38):
yourself, because this is what Ihad to do.
I had to get curious. And I asked the question, what
if I made this season feel good for me too?
What does that look like? And that one shift, that one
question, honestly changed everything because it reminded
me that my piece mattered too inall of this.
(09:00):
And you guys, it's a ripple effect.
Whatever we are doing in our ownlives is what is going to, you
know, be the ripple effect for our family and everybody else
around us. So I could still love them.
I could still give, I could still show up, but I wanted to
(09:20):
show up differently. I wanted to show up in a place
of joy in a, in a place where I felt grounded and not always
exhausted. And that's what I want for you.
So we're going to start right here by redefining what enough
really looks like. OK, so if you've ever caught
yourself kind of saying like, will this ever be enough?
(09:43):
Is this ever going to be enough?Oh my gosh, is this ever enough?
Is your spousing, honey? Is this ever going to be enough
for you? Enough gifts, enough moments,
enough magic, enough effort? I just want you to know you're
not alone if you've ever thoughtthat, or if you have a husband
or spouse that's asking you that.
Because we, as women, are typically masters at overdoing,
(10:06):
we convince ourselves that if wejust give a little more, if we
just plan a little bit better, push a little bit harder, we'll
finally feel that deep exhale that we have been chasing.
But here is the truth. Enough isn't about quantity,
(10:26):
it's about your energy. Let me explain this.
You can do less and feel more fulfilled if you're grounded in
peace and purpose. You can actually, I know this
may shock you for some. You can actually give fewer
gifts and have more meaning if those gifts are coming from the
(10:48):
heart. You can plan less perfectly OK,
and still create something unforgettable when your presence
leads the way. So here is the mindset shift I
want you to anchor into enough. OK?
The word enough, The meaning of enough is not something you buy
(11:12):
or prove. It's something you get to
decide. You get to decide what enough
is. You decide when you've done
enough, when you've given enough, when you've been enough.
And the moment that you make that decision, the pressure is
going to start to dissolve. I promise you.
(11:35):
Because here's the thing, how many of you feel exhausted
because you're striving. You're always striving.
That becomes exhausting. So you're going to get to
rewrite these rules this year. You're going to get to decide
that your worth is not measured by the number of gifts you give
(11:58):
or the food that you cook or thehouse that you decorate.
Your worth. Hear me out here is not up for
debate. It's not so as we really like
dig into this episode because it's going to be a good one.
You're going to want to grab, you're going to want to grab a
(12:19):
piece of paper, you're going to want to grab a pen or you're
going to want to like go back tosome of these parts because I'm
going to give you some really awesome Nuggets, things that
have helped to transform and things that are continuing to
help me transform the holiday. So just take a deep breath with
me right now. Take a deep breath because
(12:39):
you're like, oh, here we go. I want you to look at this with
hopefulness and just excitement because this season does not
have to be a perfect version of you.
It needs to be the present version of you.
I've been talking about this so much on podcast recently.
I really want this to be the calm, intentional, grace filled
(13:04):
version of you. And so remember I said you're
going to ask yourself a lot of questions.
So I want you to ask this question.
Actually, I'm going to ask you 2questions.
One is, will this add joy or stress?
Write it down. Will this add joy or stress?
And the second question is, am Idoing this out of love or am I
(13:26):
doing this out of guilt? Am I doing this out of love or
am I doing this out of guilt? Because those two questions are
going to be your compass. Because here's the thing, when
you act from guilt, you start tolose yourself.
And when you act from love, everything else just starts to
shift. It starts to soften a little
bit. So when the not enough, and I
(13:48):
put that in quotes, air quotes for those of you watching.
So when the not enough voice shows up and it's going to try
saying this instead, I am enough.
What I give is enough. The way I show up is enough.
Because remember, we get to decide that.
And it's not making you any lessthan, it's not making you lazy.
(14:11):
It just makes things more aligned.
And when things are more aligned, you're going to be
amazed at how different your energy feels when you lead from
a place of peace instead of all this pressure all the time.
And here's the thing, like I said, it's the ripple effect.
Your kids, your partner, your family, they don't need you to
be perfect. They want you to be present.
(14:34):
That's what they need. They need you to be laughing,
and they want your attention. They want you to feel the love,
not all of the exhaustion, that this is hard, that this is a
pain, that this is frustrating to you.
And that, my friend, is what makes this season truly enough.
(14:55):
Ha. Do you feel that?
Just that little breath that youtake, that you can go, OK, I'm
hearing you. That's what it starts to feel
like when you start letting go of the pressure and you start
stepping into the piece as you start to kind of be able to just
go, OK, let's see, let's do this.
(15:19):
And so the next, this is what the next part is going to be
about is it's going to be about clarity, because clarity is what
is going to create more of the calmness.
Because let's be honest, most ofthe stress we feel during the
holidays doesn't come from what we do.
It comes from how unprepared we feel while we're doing it.
(15:46):
So if we are in a space of reacting or if we're rushing
around or if we're just winging it, everything starts to feel
heavy. But when we move with intention,
there's this space, there's thisease that happens, and then
there becomes room for joy because that's the whole thing.
I mean, freedom is such a core value of mine.
(16:09):
And that's what this is about. Is it creating that freedom?
Freedom from panicking, freedom from all the guilt, freedom from
the last minute chaos that always leaves?
I don't know about you, but it leaves me wondering why I'm
crying. And you know the Target parking
lot as I'm hustling around like a crazy woman.
(16:33):
I think we've all been there. So I want to help you plan the
season in a way that honors you and honors your peace and
doesn't steal it. And it's all about designing a
season that works for you, not against you.
So number one is you're going tosimplify.
(16:55):
This is where we're going to begin.
Ask yourself what actually matters this year.
If you need to journal it out, journal it out.
Talk to your family about what actually matters this year to
us. Maybe for you it's going to be,
I really want to have some slow mornings with the kids.
I want to have more laughter andnights out with my friends.
(17:18):
I want to get back to my community.
I want to be able to volunteer some time during this season or
I just don't want to be like dead on the ground on December
26th because I am flipping exhausted and trying to recover
from October 31st till December 25th.
Oh yeah. And then there's New Year's Eve
(17:38):
for those of you that celebrate that, right?
So choose your top two or three priorities and then start to let
the rest go. Because here's the thing, when
everything matters, when you're trying to do all of it, guess
what happens? Nothing actually ends up getting
(17:59):
done or matter. Not not that it doesn't get
done. It doesn't matter as much
because it's just like a chore. It's just another thing to do.
So simplifying isn't about cutting things out and cutting
out your joy. It's about actually clearing
more space so you can be more creative, so you can do the
things that you really, really, really want to that you really
(18:24):
value. Because sometimes we're so busy
trying to squeeze it all in thatit ends up kind of going like,
eh, here's an example of that. So one of the things is my
grandma loves to go around and look at lights, Christmas
lights. This is like her thing.
We all get in our cars, we pick a night, we go, we typically
(18:46):
stop and we go to like Sonic or In-n-out Burger.
It's like her thing. She just loves to do that
afterwards. Or we go get an ice cream at one
of our favorite spots and it's what we all do.
And it's so funny because it's just like a non negotiable.
(19:07):
It's just something that we do and it's way more meaningful
when we're not trying to cram itin when we actually are like
this is a non negotiable. This is like top of our list.
That and our baking. Those are the two things that
are non negotiables. And when we plan them and we're
(19:29):
not trying to cram it in, it is so much more enjoyable.
And we and then when we're not trying to cram everything else
and we can make that time even more special and more fun
because we have the space and the capacity to be able to do
that. So this leads me to #2 prepare.
Once you know what matters, it'stime to prepare.
And this starts to feel really empowering and fun.
(19:54):
So here's the thing, if we're taught, here's an example.
If you are talking about like, OK, I need to start preparing
the budget, set your spending intention.
Not just a budget, but an energyboundary.
And I want you to say it out loud.
This is my budget and this is what I can joyfully spend.
(20:16):
Like literally you go, this is where this is my limit.
These are the limits that I'm going to put on things because
in that within that I am joyfully spending it.
I want to, I've set an intentionaround it.
I'm not like in that place of just like, Oh my gosh, money's
just flying everywhere. I'm just spending, spending,
spending. And then you start spending
(20:37):
things on dumb gifts and like things that don't even really
matter. How many have you been there?
Like I have, but when I set a budget that's intentional, then
I'm like, oh, this is fun. We had a thing that we used to
go into this. Oh my gosh, this like really
dates me. But this was a long time ago
when I was single mom and didn'thave a lot of money to spend
(21:02):
extra. And so I remember us going to
the dollar store, me and my kidsand we were like, OK, here, here
is, I forget, I think we did like 10 or $15.
Everybody gets 10 or $15. And these are like the little
gifts for like fun, little quoteUN quote, stocking stuffers that
we would hand out or that we would get like these were just
(21:25):
like the, and let me tell you, we joyfully did this.
It was so much fun picking thesethings out because we have the
budget. We knew how much we could spend
and we wanted to get creative. OK, so you can even break it
down. So let's say you have a $100
budget for each kid. I'm just throwing numbers out.
(21:47):
Break it into 3 meaningful categories.
Memories, OK, things that createconnection.
So that could be like experiences, traditions, quality
time. So maybe maybe that day you're
like, OK, well, here's my budget, but what memories do I
want to create? You might have to spend money on
(22:09):
that, but maybe it's not that you have and maybe there's no
money around it. And then the second one would be
meaning. So these are thoughtful gifts
that hold value or significance.OK.
And then also when you're out doing all the things, think of
yourself. So memories meaning myself,
myself is something that replenishes you.
(22:33):
Because here's the thing, your piece fuels the entire season.
Most of the time it's momma. Most of the time it's the woman
in the family that's out there fueling the season.
So when you start to plan this way, you don't feel deprived.
You actually feel directed. You actually feel like, oh, I've
(22:55):
got a purpose like this feels good.
You're not reacting to every sale, You're not reacting to
every expectation because you'rechoosing from a calm place and
you're confident because you've already started to prepare.
So you already know. And here's the thing, planning
(23:17):
doesn't remove some of that spontaneity because sometimes
that's fun. But what it does is it starts to
remove some of the stress and itgives you like a really great
foundation to work from. So when those like really sweet
spontaneous moments do happen, you're actually present enough
(23:38):
to notice them and to enjoy them.
And then the third one is personalized.
Now this is where it gets reallybeautiful.
Instead of creating a gift list based on obligation, create one
on values. So here's why I want you to ask
yourself again, I want to write these down.
What would make this person feelso loved?
(24:00):
What would make this person feelso loved?
And then what could we do together that would mean more
than any other thing? What can we do together that
would mean more than any other thing?
You actually might be surprised how often the answer isn't stuff
(24:24):
like how many times. Oh, just more stuff.
It might be a coffee date. It might be you giving someone a
handwritten note. Maybe it's a homemade dinner.
Maybe it's an experience you canshare.
This is how we reconnect the heart back to giving, because
(24:46):
when we personalize it, we shiftfrom that whole thing of
performance to purpose. And that is where our piece
actually lives. Not in how much you buy, but in
why you buy it. Why are you buying those things?
Why are you doing those things? When you put all of that into
(25:09):
action, something magical startsto happen and you start to
actually feel ahead of things. You start to feel more relaxed
and you start to remember that this season isn't meant to drain
you. It's meant to feel.
I always just like, think of theword delightful and joy.
(25:31):
It's meant to feel that way. So as you begin planning, take a
little time to reflect on that. Write down your top three
priorities, create your spendingintention, and design your list
with love and not pressure. Because when you plan from a
place of peace, I'm going to keep saying this, everything
(25:52):
that follows feels lighter. OK, so now that we've talked a
little bit about mindset and planning, let's talk about the
part that can either bring peaceor more chaos this time of year,
and that is shopping. Like actually doing the
shopping. And again, before you roll your
(26:12):
eyes at me, please don't or don't tense your shoulders.
Don't get stressed. Just take a deep breath with me
if you need to because this isn't about more lists or more
rules. This is about empowerment.
So what this whole episode is about, it's about reclaiming
your piece before you hit add tocart, because shopping can
(26:34):
actually be a really awesome expression of love and
creativity. So when it comes from intention
rather than impulse, it can be really beautiful.
It's when we start buying from stress or from guilt or from I
have to energy. That's when things start to
spiral. Think about that when you're at
(26:57):
the last minute and you're doingall of the things and you don't
really have things planned. I don't know about you, but
that's when I start buying like,Oh my gosh, I haven't gotten
enough. I haven't done enough.
Oh my gosh, I need to get one more thing.
Oh, but I don't know, like I'm going through my list and I
don't really feel like I've got the one thing that they would
love. So now I'm going to search
everywhere and make myself crazyto try to find it.
(27:22):
That becomes stressful. And here is the truth.
Our spending actually tells a story.
Every dollar that we spend is a vote for the kind of season we
want to create. So the goal here isn't to stop
shopping, it's to start shoppingwith your heart.
And I know that sounds corny, but there's a little method that
(27:47):
I have that I've started to use and it really, really, really is
helpful. And it's called I, well, I don't
know, I just call it the pause and check method.
This is one of the simplest yet powerful tools that I use and I
teach it to women that I work with.
So before you click add to cart,before you grab anything on
(28:10):
sale, before you say yes to thatlike massive deal, I want you to
just pause. And I want you to take a deep
breath and ask yourself 2 questions.
Remember, we're always asking. It's when we get curious that we
start to really make a difference.
So you're going to ask yourself,am I buying this from peace or
from panic? And does this align with how I
(28:32):
want to feel this season? And you're going to be shocked
at how often this small little pause will save you time.
It's going to save you money andit's going to save you energy.
Because if your answer feels really calm and light, that's
peace. Go for it, but if it feels like
(28:54):
really rushed and it feels pressured or it feels like
you're trying to fill a void, that's panic and that's when
you're going to want to step back.
And that is how we start retraining our spending patterns
because our spending patterns get really emotional.
(29:15):
So you want to create some awareness before the action.
That's why I love doing some of this work ahead of time, and
that's why I love when I go out and I start to do the shopping.
I've already asked these questions I have, and I have so
much room for getting better at this.
And I'm learning more as I go. And I kind of like investigate
(29:37):
this and think about this. I'm like reflecting what worked
last year, what didn't work lastyear.
And one of the things that I recognize for sure is when I
feel prepared and when I'm intentional about it, I
definitely, definitely feel moreexcitement around it.
And I feel like I'm not restricted because I'm not only
(30:05):
honoring my budget and the bank account, but I'm also honoring
my heart. So I made this really, really
easy because I was like, how canI make this easy to remember?
I did 3 CS of intentional shopping.
You want to hear me out here? So three CS of intentional
shopping and I just feel like the simpler we can do it.
(30:26):
This is the teacher and me. I love to love to find ways to
keep things simple so I can remember so conscious know why
you're buying. Ask what emotion am I chasing
with this purchase? If it's joy, if it's connection,
great. But if it's guilt comparison
(30:46):
anxiety, take the pause. So being conscious, OK second
see is being creative. So think outside of the box.
Literally. Literally think outside of the
present. Think outside of the box.
Sometimes the most meaningful and most beautiful gifts aren't
store bought. Their experiences, their acts of
(31:06):
service or something that speaksto who that person really is
because that's when they're going to feel seen.
That's when they feel the most loved, when it's coming from
something that is so meaningful to them.
So get creative. Maybe it's a day together.
Maybe it's something that you frame and it's like a memory and
(31:27):
every time they look at it, they're smiling because they're
like, Oh my gosh, that was so great.
Think outside of the box. So be creative.
So conscious, creative and connected.
Shop with purpose, not just for things, but for the impact that
you're going to make. And here's where I can squeeze
in. I love this.
Support local, support women owned businesses, support the
(31:52):
artisans out there, support other brands that align with
your values. Yes, I'm going to have a gift
giving guide. It's going to include all sorts
of things, some of which you're going to be able to grab on
Amazon, some of which you're going to be able to look for and
find in your local community, some of which won't cost any
(32:13):
money, and it's just an idea of something you can do.
So we're going to talk about allof those in part too.
But again, when you spend intentionally, your money
circulates good energy. I believe this.
And that creates the ripple effect in our own communities,
in just in the world, in society.
(32:33):
All of it feels good because it actually is doing good.
And that's, you know, where I'vestarted to and this is like
newer in my world. It's like understanding the
energy of exchange because I want you to think about shopping
this way. Every purchase is an exchange of
energy. You're trading.
(32:54):
So think, if you think about it,when you go shopping, you're
trading your time, your effort and your money for something you
hope will bring joy to somebody else, something that you hope
will be meaningful, something you hope will create a
connection. So again, the question becomes,
is this exchange worth it? Does it serve your values?
(33:18):
We don't go work hard to just buy a bunch of junk, right?
We want it to be meaningful. So when you start looking at
shopping as an energy exchange, you begin to kind of notice more
and you get to choose a little differently and you're no longer
reacting to all of the noise. You're actually responding from
(33:39):
what actually feels good. And that is where the power is,
in my opinion. And that's when you get to stop
trying to keep up. You aren't trying to prove
yourself, and you start giving from purpose.
That is the shift that's shopping with your heart.
And I want you before we move on, I just, I want to invite you
(34:02):
to reimagine what giving looks like for you this year because
giving when it's done with that intention is one of the most
healing, beautiful energies there is.
I truly believe that. And when you're thinking about
the holidays creating, even sitting, if you're someone that
you know does Thanksgiving, if you're someone that celebrates
(34:25):
Hanukkah or Christmas, whatever that is for you, think about who
in your life truly needs my timemore than my money.
How can I make someone feel seen, not just like excited over
a gift? And what if I gave gifts that
(34:48):
supported more connection? I mean, what is it that is
important to you and to them? Because don't forget yourself in
that giving. OK, so this is where I want you
to give yourself permission. This is the giving part to you.
(35:09):
Give yourself permission to rest.
Give yourself a moment of stillness.
Give yourself grace too. Doesn't have to be perfect.
You deserve just as much as you give.
You deserve that too. I don't want you feeling
resentful that you gave and gaveand gave and then you didn't
(35:33):
feel like anything was given back to you.
Give back to yourself, take careof yourself.
It's like putting on your own oxygen mask 1st.
And when we bring mindset and planning and intentional
shopping together, we actually create something so powerful
because we're showing our families and we're proving to
(35:55):
ourselves and we're being honestwith ourselves and keeping our
truths. We're keeping it all in motion
and it just ripples out to everybody.
And what it will do is instead of, and this is what I'm finding
instead of feeling drained at the end of the season on the
26th of December, I actually love it.
(36:21):
I actually love how I feel the day after Christmas, Not
because, oh thank God, it's all over.
I actually have a little melancholy because I have
started to create these beautiful, you know, just
experiences and holidays in the last several years.
Even when I have the big fall, because the big fall happened on
Christmas Eve. And even that day, because I was
(36:44):
working so hard to create, but Iwas under all this pressure
feeling, and I put that on myself.
I was going to use grandma's China.
I was going to do all the things.
I was going to make it so special.
And then I take this huge fall and I can't do anything but sit
in a recliner, face all beat up and I'm completely drugged out
just to not feel the pain. But I will tell you that the
(37:04):
things that I had done beforehand to prepare, it ended
up being like still such a beautiful day.
Because I know we know this. What really matters is not
what's under the tree. It's about how we feel when
(37:26):
we're sitting around the tree. If you're someone that
celebrates Christmas. So let's take another breath
together. We're going to wrap this up.
We've just walked through a lot,I know.
But I don't want this to feel like another To Do List.
This isn't about doing more, it's about doing it differently
and just taking some small shifts and practicing them.
(37:47):
Create creating the change through consistency.
K, So here's how I'm gonna wrap it up.
All of the things that we've talked about, I want you to
create your holiday mission statement.
Yep, I know that sounds crazy. Create your holiday mission
statement before the list, before the parties, before all
(38:11):
of the things. Just today or in the next couple
of days, pause and ask yourself,how do I want this season to
feel? How do I want it to feel?
And then write it down. Maybe it's peaceful, maybe it's
slow. Maybe it's simple.
Maybe it's full of joy. Connected.
(38:32):
That is going to be how you're going to lead.
And when things start to feel out of whack, you're going to go
back to this. How do I want it to feel?
And if something doesn't align with that feeling, it's OK to
say no. And then I want you to choose
just one of the peaceful planning steps.
(38:54):
Just one. So it can be spending with
intention. It could be making a values
based list or identifying your top priorities.
You don't have to organize all of it today.
Just take one. Just just take one small step
that tells your brain, I'm leading the season with
intention. If you want to do more, great,
(39:16):
but just do the 1 mission statement and then just picking
one of the planning steps. And then the last thing I'm
going to just remind you of is practice the pause.
Every time you reach for your wallet, your calendar, your
phone, take a pause and ask, am I doing this from peace or
pressure? That single question will
(39:38):
recenter you faster than any strategy because peace isn't
found in perfection, it's found in presence.
I'm going to say it again and again and again.
These aren't big old flashy steps.
I know they're just. I just want them to be small,
powerful ones that bring you back to yourself and that feel
(40:00):
good. As we're walking into the
holidays and as we're walking into the season, because I know
it's not always easy for everyone and for those of you
that do really love it like it go, it's a win win for
everybody. It's a win win for those that
kind of dread this season. But then it's also a win for
those of you that want to live this season better.
(40:23):
There's like my friend Lachelle says, there's a good, better
best, right? So we're always looking at that.
I just don't want you to lose yourself in the process of this
because I don't want it to be negotiable.
I don't want your piece to be negotiable.
So as we wrap up today, I want you to remember that you're
(40:44):
allowed to enjoy this season. You're allowed to slow down.
You're allowed to say no. You're allowed to simplify and
to make this year feel different.
So if today's conversation resonated and you're ready to
bring more calm and joy into thenext few weeks, I have also, in
(41:04):
addition put together a few of my favorite self-care
essentials. There is some on my Amazon
storefront. And it's just like some of the
little things that keep me grounded and centered as I
prepare for the season. OK, so I mean, you guys, I'm
talking about like the cozy, thepractical, all about taking care
(41:25):
of you while you're taking care of everyone else.
And you'll be able to find that link on the show notes.
And I'll be kind of putting these on my stories on Instagram
too, because I think those things are so important.
And I'll be sharing things that are not just on Amazon.
There is an Amazon storefront and being super real with you,
(41:46):
but there's also some products. There's also some, you know,
different things that I use between oils and supplements
that I take, things that I do. You can follow along on the
stories and we'll be talking about those things.
And I also really just hope thatyou're going to stay tuned right
here because next week we're going to continue this
(42:08):
conversation with, like I said, one of my favorite episodes of
the year. It's the Holiday Gift Giving
Guide. And it's made easy.
I really try to make it easy foryou.
And we're going to be talking fun, creative, meaningful ideas
that make gift giving feel effortless.
Plus, there will be some early Black Friday finds that you
won't want to miss. And yes, I am going to be
(42:29):
sharing something extra special that's coming exclusively for my
listeners, so make sure you're subscribed because that's going
to be good and it's going to be fun and I cannot wait.
Until then, give yourself permission to rest and take 1
peaceful step at a time. Remember, holidays don't have to
(42:50):
be perfect, you just need to be enough for you to feel good and
to feel present. And I just want to say thank you
so much for joining me today. Keep rising, keep shining, and
remember your best day is right here waiting for you.
Thanks friends, have a good one.Thanks for joining me here
(43:11):
today. Your presence means the world to
me. If you enjoyed what you heard,
please consider leaving a ratingand review and don't forget to
follow or subscribe so you nevermiss an episode.
Head to the show notes and let'sconnect.
Rise to Shine Co is ready to support you in coaching,
collaboration, light tips, or even a coffee chat.
(43:31):
Until next time, keep shining myfriends.
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