The Rising Beyond Podcast

If you are a victim or survivor of domestic violence or narcissistic abuse you will likely come into contact with a lot of our larger systems. One of them being Child Protective Services (CPS).

This may bring up your greatest fear, one that your partner threatened on many occasions; that if you leave they will do everything to take your children away from you.  And if your abuser has done a good job at making you feel craz...

If you have ever felt powerless to help your children as they behave in ways that let you know that they are hurting or scared inside, this episode is for you.

Parenting is hard even when you are not having to manage all that comes with post separation abuse; which includes the guilt and shame of what your children are experiencing.

So, what can you do to help them and parent in a way that will build their resilie...

It is episode 100 and we are flipping the script and doing something completely different.  

My good friend, Lundy Bancroft is interviewing ME, so that you can get a behind the scenes look at how I got started doing this work and why I am so passionate about helping you.

We touch on the lack of training mental health professionals get specific to working with domestic violence and coercive control, some of the shifts in the field tha...

What does it mean to recover or heal from domestic violence or narcissistic abuse?  I am not sure that there is a universal answer to this question.  So my answer…”It depends.”

Your healing journey depends on so many different factors such as:

• Are you/were you legally married?
• Do you share children with your abuser?
• How old are your children?
• How financially dependent have you been on your abuser?
• What is your experience wi...

How do you know when you are ready to date again after leaving an abusive relationship?

It is common that folks find themselves in two camps:

• I will never date again as long as I live
• I jumped into a relationship too fast and found myself another abusive, narcissistic A-hole

But, for those of you in the middle, this question comes up often.  

There is no one right way to make this decision, however there are some commonalities ...

Struggling to keep the peace with a high-conflict ex?

Does setting boundaries make you so uncomfortable that you don’t do it?  But then you are kicking yourself and are full of resentment because you said yes to something that you absolutely do not want to do or don’t have time for?

This value-packed episode of "The Rising Beyond Podcast" features sisters, Jan and Jillian Yuhas, who share revolutionary t...

What is the most damaging lie your narcissistic ex partner has said about you?  And who are they saying it to?

The smear campaign can be extremely hurtful and can cause a lot of problems with receiving support, maintaining relationships, and even family court outcomes.

But why do perpetrators of domestic violence and coercive control use the smear campaign post separation?

• The are trying to get back control and...

How does co-parenting change when either you or your narcissistic ex partner finds a new significant other?

What role does your new partner play in the situation?

Safety Alert: Oftentimes your abuser will increase their intensity of post separation abuse when you find a new partner.  This is not meant to scare, only to inform.

First, it is important to have open communication with your new partner before ...

Documentation is extremely important for victims and survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse.  But is what you are documenting really going to matter?  And how can we keep it safe?

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast, I interview Sheri Kurdakul on her experience as a survivor, the shortcomings of the family court system and other larger systems, and why she decided to create Victims Voice.  She criti...

Everyone that knows anything about our family court system knows that it continues to harm survivors of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse.  Most want extreme court reform, while those that benefit would like to keep it just like it is.

In this episode I share my experience testifying at the House Judiciary Committee in support of HB24-1350 and how listening to the opposition and those who showed up in the amendment ...

Everyone talks about the financial abuse that occurs when you are in an abusive relationship.  But what happens after you leave?

The financial abuse continues during post separation abuse and oftentimes gets worse.  When an abuser believes they are losing control of their victim, they will adapt, intensify and find other ways to abuse.  

This includes refusing to pay child support or becoming under or unemployed so they do not have t...

Coparenting with a narcissist is a challenge no matter the age of your child.  We often focus on co-parenting when your children are younger because of the inherent safety concerns.  But things don’t necessarily get easier as your children get older.

There are new challenges when you are co-parenting your teens. There are still safety concerns, but they look different.

Some of the new areas of conflict are:

• When one parent has str...

What role should extended family play in your life and your children’s lives after divorcing a narcissist?

Your divorce will have a ripple effect on those in yours and your children’s lives and your extended family will feel this.  Your ex’s extended family will also be impacted.  The role they get to have in your life and your children’s lives will vary depending on the situation and your relationship with each of them.  ...

Has the constant stress from your narcissistic relationship and continued post separation abuse had a negative impact on your physical health?

It is common that the constant hypervigilance and ongoing trauma will cause problems with sleep, your digestive system, your immune system…basically all of your systems.

Is there anything you can do about it?

In this episode of The Rising Beyond Podcast I talk with...

When addiction intersects with domestic violence and narcissistic abuse scary things can happen.

The intensity of abuse typically increases and leaves so many women off balance.

Many victims hold onto the hope that if their partner becomes sober, they will no longer be abusive and this is the explanation many perpetrators of abuse will use to continue abusing their partners.

And while there are significan...

You finally left your narcissistic partner and find yourself a single parent.  (Let’s be real here, you were basically a single parent before)  And being a single parent is HARD!

You’re working, maintaining a home, helping with homework, planning meals, driving to the extra curricular activities, and more.  And, you likely also have a full time job mitigating everything that comes up during post separation abuse.

...

How often are you kicking yourself because you said “Yes” to something when you didn’t have the time or backed down and agreed to one of your ex’s requests because you just wanted to avoid the conflict?

Being a victim of domestic violence and narcissistic abuse will lead to fawning or people-pleasing behaviors as a way to maintain safety and the idea of control and calm. People pleasing was a skill that kept you safe but i...

For those of you dealing with post separation abuse and the family court system this episode is for you.

How can you live your life accepting or stomaching the decisions made by a judge or evaluator that you know in your heart is not in the best interest of your children.

How do we just accept that our systems are unjust when it is negatively affecting our babies? 

Hopefully these strategies will be a place you can start.

If you have google searched “Is my husband/partner a narcissist?” then it is very likely that they are.

You know that something is wrong, but it does not feel like domestic violence is the correct term because you’ve never been hit.  You’ve read some things on narcissism, but what you know of narcissism doesn’t quite fit your partner.

So what is it?

In this episode, I talk with Stephany Ann on some of the...