We all talk about how a strong relationship with your significant other is crucial, but how often do we really sit down to discuss the ground rules that hold it all together? In today’s episode, I take a thoughtful look at the different kinds of agreements we make with our partners, especially when high-pressure careers, kids, and life’s unpredictability enter the mix. I discuss setting clear expectations, negotiating roles, and effective communication, so your relationship can be the greatest asset to your leadership journey, not a detractor.
This episode highlights insights from my conversation with John Sapone, a seasoned VP of Sales with an impressive track record at several of the world’s fastest-growing startups. John's approach with his spouse offers a real-world example of how crafting intentional agreements in a demanding household leads to clarity, understanding, and a sense of team, both at home and at work.
“Fences make good neighbors.
Ground rules and agreements make really strong relationships.”
~Mark Silverman
Today on The Rising Leader:
· High-performing jobs can be "greedy," often bleeding into evenings and weekends, so it’s critical to have explicit agreements about time and expectations at home.
· Clear ground rules are the foundation of strong partnerships, especially when both partners face significant demands from their careers and families.
· Openly discussing what each person needs to feel valued, seen, and secure makes negotiation possible and resentment less likely.
· It’s vital to regularly update your agreements and check in with your partner as circumstances and feelings inevitably shift.
· Joint understanding about who handles what—especially in crisis or when competing demands arise—prevents conflict and promotes teamwork.
· Using tools like the enneagram or personality assessments helps couples better understand one another and navigate differences.
· Left unspoken, unmet expectations quickly metastasize into frustration, distance, and potential relationship breakdown.
· Coming together intentionally as a team—striving for win-win rather than “getting yours”—builds resilience and success at home and professionally.
Resources Mentioned:
· Enneagram and other personality testing tools (for couples and teams)
· To receive my agreement versus expectations guide, send me a note!
Grab Your Copy of The Rising Leader Handbook
Do you find yourself rising through your company's ranks so fast that you wish you had a manual to become an effective leader? Then, The Rising Leader Handbook is right for you.
In The Rising Leader Handbook, you’ll learn how to shift your perspective and gain the leadership skills you need, regardless of the breadth of your responsibilities, by leveraging the relationships you’ve built with the CEO, the Leadership Team, and the team you lead as well as your relationship with yourself.
Visit The Rising Leader Handbook: Turning High Achievers into Effective Leaders to grab your copy and start mastering your skills to become your team leader.
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