February 19, 2025 • 36 mins
TXT us your feedback!! <3 your fayce!
Hey everyone, Riva here! In this second episode with my fellow nurse and friend Jamie, we dive headfirst into what it really takes to thrive in the nursing world—especially when you’re juggling nonstop pressures and a million demands on your time. We’re sharing real-time strategies you can put into action immediately, like talking through your tasks to stay grounded and combining visualization with deep breathing for a quick calm-down fix.
We also dig into the art (and necessity) of delegation—because guess what? None of us are superheroes, and it’s high time we drop that myth. Knowing your personal limits isn’t weakness; it’s a legit superpower that keeps you and your patients safer. Plus, having a support system (whether they fully “get” your day-to-day or not) can be the difference between feeling totally alone and having that sense of belonging we all crave.
Jamie and I also get real about reclaiming your identity outside of work. After all, you’re more than just your scrubs! We share personal stories about reintroducing lost hobbies and reconnecting with loved ones—basically, how to be a nurse without losing your entire self in the job. And of course, it wouldn’t be The Ritual Nurse without a little “Coffee, Crystals, and Divination.” We talk about embracing loss, finding resilience in unexpected places, and how spiritual insights can help keep you balanced.
Tune in for an honest conversation filled with laughter, vulnerability, and practical nuggets for every stage of your nursing journey. Let’s keep each other standing strong—one shift (and maybe one crystal) at a time!
Hey! Make sure you subscribe to stay connected. Love a nurse? Who doesn't! Share with all the nurses you know. The more we reach, the more we help. We feel like no one deserves center stage focus more than nurses and our mission is to reach the millions of superstars out there. We'd love to hear your stories, your adventures, your wins, and especially your needs and questions! Email us at hello@ritualnurse (dot) com. Also, you can send us fan mail! Use the link at the beginning of the show notes. Resources, classes, blogs, and podcast info can be found on our home site at TCTH.org. The Ritual Nurse Podcast is part of The Code Team educational platform.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the Ritual Nurse, where healing meets
humor, science and a touch ofmagic.
Hello everybody and welcomeback to the podcast.
This is the Ritual Nurse and myname is Reba, your host.
If you're listening to us forthe first time, this is a
phenomenal podcast focused allon nursing and nursing-related
(00:32):
topics regarding self-care,mental health, healing, and this
week is our second week withour incredible guest, jamie, who
is a fellow nurse.
You're not going to want tomiss the first episode with
Jamie, so if you haven'tlistened to that, as soon as
you're done with this, go runand listen to that one.
This second episode, we're goingto continue the conversation
and we're going to do a littlebit of a deeper dive in looking
(00:55):
at resilience and stressmanagement More specifically,
what kind of goodies and tipscan we give you guys for stress
management in real time on thejob?
Because we realize a lot ofwhat we talk about regarding
self-care and intentional space.
The rituals that you create inyour intentional space for
self-care are all things that wedo off the floor or after shift
(01:21):
is over, outside of our workenvironment.
So today, jamie, welcome back.
I am so excited to have you onthis next episode.
Let me hear some of yourthoughts, or maybe things you
yourself do in terms of stressmanagement on the floor when
you're handling that chaos.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Well, hello again.
So some of the things that Ilike to do when I'm on the floor
and I'm really stressed out isand it's going to depend the
tools that I use are going todepend on what needs to be
accomplished Correct.
So, for example, there aretimes where I'm stressed out and
I feel like my brain is goingin 10 different directions and I
need it to focus on one.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So, pick a lane right , pick a lane at that rate.
Um, and this always happenswhen I'm, like in the supply,
closet right.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Why?
What is it about?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
supply closets, that does it to us.
I don't know, but it's the thing, man.
So I start saying things outloud.
I'm looking for this, and byverbalizing it and hearing my
own voice it helps keep me ontrack.
Yes, another thing that I liketo do is I had this experience
at one point when I had walkedout my front door and this was
(02:29):
like one of those really bigfull moons, and I remember going
to take the trash out and Ijust looked up and there was
this giant moon in front of meand all of a sudden it was this
feeling of like stillness, oh,yes, yes, calm, and you know
time is moving differently.
And so I actually made a pointof kind of encapsulating that
(02:50):
moment and trying to rememberwhat it felt like so that I
could draw on it when I neededit.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
That's phenomenal.
So what you could say is if you, as a nurse or healthcare
provider because this reallyapplies to all of us that are in
the scenarios if you have amoment that you have in your
memory, that is a time when youfelt that absolute stillness,
looking out at the ocean, a lake, listening to the sound of rain
(03:18):
, anything just one significantmoment that evokes that memory
and feel of that stillness, bothphysical and mental.
Utilize that on the floor whenyou are at kind of red line,
that overload point where youneed to make decisions, you need
to follow protocols, you needto have conversations, you need
(03:41):
to call for orders, you need tospeak to patients, families,
whatever the demands might be,but you feel that your nervous
system or your psyche, that youare on overload, you're, you've
stopped processing incoming data, you're not hearing orders or
people correctly, or I noticeit's my level of frustration,
(04:02):
this teeth gritting, kind ofshoulders hunched, like level of
.
Of.
It's not anger, it is like a,it is like a tenseness, it's
like a, a sense of anxiety andfrustration coupled together.
I know when I start feeling that, that I am at overwhelm point
and this kind of exercise Iwould be able to do.
Standing next to my computerwhile charting, I literally
(04:25):
could stop and drop my shouldersand envision that moment and,
like you, what you said was sosignificant.
You not only think about themoment but you evoke or think
about the physical sensation ofthat stillness, and I think
that's the key component iscombining both of those in order
to evoke the same physicalresponse.
(04:46):
You're going to have that sameparasympathetic nervous system
response in that moment andthat's going to slow all the
catecholamines down.
It's going to slow the responsedown blood flow to operational
areas that are required to hearand process executive
functioning.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well, and to piggyback off some of the things
that I know that you've touchedon before a lot of times, I
will pair this imaging exercisewith a breath or two.
Oh, excellent, I will inhalethat feeling and exhale the
business.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Oh, excellent, inhaling the feeling as you yes,
absolutely, because you are.
You're bringing that in.
It's like you are, you'recentering it in yourself and
making that overactive mind orthat over anxious mind,
physically utilize, you know,one of your five senses to
(05:43):
internalize that feeling thatyou're envisioning, which is
phenomenal, and then exhaling.
You're exhaling that energy,that negativity, that stress,
whatever it is away from you.
That's incredible.
Visually, for visualizationpurposes, that's incredible
because you can do that in asupply closet.
You can do it on the floor.
It doesn't matter where you are, but that's something that you
(06:04):
can do.
When it comes to resilience onthe floor resilience I've talked
about this in earlier podcasts,but the definition of
resilience is really, when we'refaced with adversity or
challenges, our ability tomaintain equilibrium is is
actually our resilience.
That's the definition ofresilience.
(06:24):
And when you think about thestress levels on the floor,
there's usually man a lot oftimes on the floor.
There aren't known variables.
Like all of the variables arein flux.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Those are my favorite kind, by the way, you know what
I'm saying.
Like all the variables are influx.
Those are my favorite kind, bythe way you know what I'm saying
.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Like all the variables are in flux.
What would your, what wouldyour advice be?
Or or how have you learned tomaintain your equilibrium when
there isn't there's there?
There isn't a known, you knowmarker, there isn't a known
structure that that you can basethat on you know marker.
There isn't a known structurethat that you can base that on
(07:06):
you know, like whether yourpatients, everything from their
vitals to their significantothers, reactions to the doctor
on call, you know, all of thevariables are in flux.
So what do you do to maintainthat equilibrium?
Is there a certain way youchart?
Is there, you know?
Is it in your nursing brain?
Is there a structure you giveyourself?
(07:27):
Like, how do you?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
so there's two things that come to mind.
One is I am only one person.
Yes, you know and it's just, Ithink as nurses, we really have
to remind ourselves of that,because you're like no, I can do
it.
No, I can do it, no, I got it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
You know, right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Sometimes you just have to delegate yes, you just
do yes.
And it's not just for you knowthe safety of the patient or the
situation.
Sometimes it's for your mentalhealth.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Um, and that's not to say you should be like dumping
all the things you don't want todo in your scene.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
No, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
But, like sometimes you're like I am overwhelmed,
Right?
It would really help me out,buddy, if you could pass this
med and then I could just kickit off my list and not worry
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Right?
I think that's a prime exampleof being efficient in order to
provide the best care, ratherthan providing mediocre care in
several avenues, you know, likeconsolidating your efforts into
one superb effort because you'vedelegated something off of your
(08:29):
list, rather than it beingmediocre effort across all three
things.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Right and just to kind of like piggyback off that
idea.
One thing that I have learnedis that just because I push
through it doesn't mean that I'mfunctioning better.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yes, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, so, like sometimes, taking your lunch
break is more necessary somedays than it is other days, and
part of the reason is, yeah, Iunderstand, it's 30 minutes of
your time.
You're not going to get back.
However, you're going tofunction way better after you
eat something, absolutely.
So take the 5, 10, 15 minutesthat you need, whether you've
(09:07):
taken your lunch break alreadyor not.
If you need that time, you needthat time, correct.
Just take the time, go to thebathroom, drink some water, get
something to eat.
Don't think about the floor forfive minutes, correct.
And when you come back to it,you're gonna be so much more
organized, so much lessscattered yes, so much less
stressed out, because you'vetaken care of the human needs
(09:29):
Correct, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I think that's vastly , wildly important.
We often kind of wear thisbadge of.
You know our nurse avatar isunstoppable.
They are tireless.
They need no water or bathroombreaks.
You know, they can work a16-hour shift.
Pull one for the team.
We've got this, whereas whatwe're not doing is we're not
(09:53):
acknowledging the human of usthat has limits, that has needs,
that has physiologicalexhaustion, that has upper
limits of endocrine problemslike okay, I, okay, I am
overtaxed and overstimulated.
I can't do this at the moment.
You know my fight or flightsystem is in flight and already
gone right.
So taking the time to recenterreally slows that entire process
(10:18):
down and I think it's important, like you noted, stop thinking
about the floor for a minute.
It's okay to stop thinkingabout your patient for five
minutes and just let your mindbreathe.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
And, that being said, don't hop on your phone either,
like you don't need thatstimulation.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Exactly.
This is not overstimulate inanother area, because you have
that innate desire to dopaminefarm, right?
You know cause you're feelingburned out, so you don't have
dopamine and we can generatethat dopamine in some other way
than persistent onslaught ofstimulation.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Right, I'm like just just just enjoy the S word, or
the Q word.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Right, we're not going to say it, but yes, that
aspect, yes.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Because your mental health needs that too.
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It's funny.
Even even in podcasts, we don'twant to say that no.
We don't want to say that no,because then it'll follow you.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Right.
My next shift is going to beterrible.
If I say that Correct, we'renot saying it.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
It's not even happening, we're not even
discussing it.
I wanted to really kind ofquickly touch on support systems
.
So kind of give me, just giveme an encapsulated idea of, like
, what a support system means toyou.
How have you used that tosupport yourself, like mental
health, self-care?
What does that mean to you?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
So, in terms of a support system, I have found
people in my life that A who canaccept me for who I am.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
All the bits and pieces, yes and B.
They are people that may notalways understand what I'm going
through, but they will listenand be there.
Excellent and that's what Ineed.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Okay, excellent.
Do you think that supportsystems a lot of times as nurses
we kind of tend to we're not,you know, it's not a mean girls
kind of thing, but we kind oftend to pod together Do you
think it is important toespecially newer nurses to make
sure that they keep the thatexistential support system in
(12:15):
place and not just I feel like Ifeel like we isolate in nursing
?
Do you know what I'm saying.
I do like, like we tend togravitate towards nurses,
whether it's from a feeling oflike other people won't get it,
or our jokes horrify them, or Idon't know, but I just I feel
like maintaining life outside ofnursing is okay and necessary,
(12:44):
but for some reason, I think wekind of have this belief that
it's the like.
What do you mean?
You have a life outside ofnursing.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
So I think for me and I think other, maybe neuro
spicy people might identify withthis.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But I tend to jump into things, go a thousand
percent and obsess about it.
Yes, and that's exactly what Idid.
When I first started my nursingcareer was like everything was
nursing.
Yes, absolutely, and I totallyhad like zero chill about it,
like you know, and I had tolearn like everything was
nursing yes, absolutely, and Itotally had like zero chill
about it Like you know, and Ihad to learn, like I think the
big question that I've beenasking myself over the last
(13:21):
couple of months of um,separating my identity from my
nursing avatar is what do I need?
What do I want?
Right, and so it's.
It's slowly just evolved into I, I nurse, and then I come home
and take care of the house andkeep it clean, cause that's what
(13:41):
I'm supposed to do too.
I have all these other facets asa person and all of these
facets need attention Absolutely, and so I've really, in my self
routine, actually have starteddivorcing myself from my career.
Love it, because it needs tohappen.
I mean, there are parts ofmyself that I've neglected for
(14:03):
so long.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And it's like.
I busted out painting somethingthe other day and I realized
that I don't paint things thataren like simple or within the
lines, because it stresses meout, and I was like.
I was like I think this defeatsthe purpose, Like, and so I had
to relearn how to just letwhatever comes out comes out on
(14:26):
paper.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
get paint on the canvas or get it on paper, yeah,
exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
And so it was actually ironically I had to
relearn how to do some of thesesmaller things, and that's where
I am in my process, where I'mreclaiming those other parts of
myself that I buried, you know,years before nursing school.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yes, yes, yes.
That is absolutely phenomenal.
I really like what you saidabout divorcing that nurse
avatar.
So often when we enter nursingand that nurse avatar starts
getting built, it's like we getseatbelted in for the ride and
it takes us, and sometimes wedon't successfully do it, we
(15:03):
forget how to get out.
I'll, you know, I'll be walkingaround a grocery store and see
somebody and I'm you know arethey.
Are they having a stroke?
Is there?
You know you're innatelyassessing everything in your
environment.
That's a trauma response.
That hypervigilance is a traumaresponse.
It is okay for me to go to thegrocery store and not be a
(15:28):
critical care nurse or an ERnurse.
Like I can literally just go tothe grocery store in my sweats
and pick up mac and cheese andleave Goodbye, Like I don't have
to be on all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I do struggle with that a little.
I'm not going to lie, I know, Iknow, like I look at people's
calves and I'm like those aren'tsupposed to be that big Right
you know, is there preferredBEMA happening Like what's going
on here?
Speaker 1 (15:48):
But I think it's.
I think it's super importantfor us to be able to divorce
that nurse avatar without guilt,because otherwise we'll never
be able to find self and likewhat you're doing is finding
self because you have gotunhooked the seatbelt.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
It's like.
It's like you know, lopping offan arm doesn't make you whole
Like you still need the otherarm.
You can't just pretend it's notthere Exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
That is epic.
So right now we are going to goto break.
If you have to head back to thefloor, well, we wish you the
absolute smoothest of shifts andthe most fun patients.
(16:39):
The least critical scenarios,the best residents and the
lightest amount of orders.
We don't wish you the Q word.
No, there is no.
No, the Q and the S, that doesjust does not happen.
We're not even saying it.
So if you are going to hang outwith us and stick around, enjoy
the musical interlude here, getyourself some tea, some coffee,
whatever it is, and we will beback.
We're going to continue thediscussion with Jamie, a couple
more points of advice and, ofcourse, another segment of our
(17:02):
Coffee Crystals and Divination,but we will see you shortly
after the break.
All right if you have stuck withus so far.
Thank you so much.
We are going to get back intoour topic.
We have been focusing oneverything from resilience and
stress building mind, body,spirit care.
(17:24):
This is a second part episodewith our guest Jamie.
We've had two absolutelyincredible episodes, some of the
most golden information that Ithink has come out of discussing
this stuff with another nurse.
We've really kind of delvedinto this created topic of the
nurse avatar.
You're definitely going to wantto listen to last week's
(17:46):
episode to catch up with wherewe're at today, but I really
want to kind of delve intoadvice for new nurses or other
nurses.
So if you met a brand new nursewho was about to start in the
ICU, what would you tell themabout taking care of themselves
first so they can care forothers effectively?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
One of the best pieces of advice that I've
actually received as a nurse wastake, you know, at least one
day a week to go do somethingfun, right.
And at first I don't think Ireally truly grasped this
concept, because I'm over herelike, yeah, watching TV is fun.
Yeah, doing this is fun, right,that's mindless.
It's mindless or it is fun, butthe fun that needs to be had is
(18:30):
the kind of fun where you can'tthink about anything else
except the great time thatyou're having.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Okay, A mindfulness in a in acompletely different manner.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, like I'm having so much fun right now, like I
am a million miles away from mytroubles.
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Absolutely.
And, to note, you can do thatkind of stuff for free.
That has nothing to do with acost variable or the
expensiveness of something, nordoes it have to do with company.
I mean, I can think of severalactivities that you know,
outdoors, hobby or craftingactivities that are solo,
activities that are also notexpensive.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So for me, being alone is probably like the
antithesis of what I would needto do, right?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
And for some people that is yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Because my brain's like okay, we're going to think
about things, but when I'm withothers, I find that it's a lot
easier to disengage with my ownthought process and engage with
what's going on around.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Absolutely, that makes a thousand percent sense.
You wrote something in yournotes here about sometimes
taking care of yourself isinconvenient to others, and
that's why it's important tosurround yourself with people
that can support you, even ifthey don't understand what
you're going through.
Talk to me about that, becauseI think there's so much truth to
that statement, and it'ssomething that keeps us, as
(19:52):
nurse avatars who provide foreveryone else, from engaging in
self-care.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Inconvenient could be .
It's three o'clock in themorning and I still haven't gone
to sleep yet, because my brainwon't shut off.
Yes, and it's calling a friendor it's taking a bath, yeah
absolutely.
But those are all like.
I have people in my life that Icould call at 3 am and be like
bro.
I just need, to like, get mymind on a different track.
(20:17):
So I can get sleepy and notobsess about my day at work.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Absolutely, that makes total sense.
I think in another aspect,people don't want to burden
others.
Like our nurse avatar, the waythat we function on the unit is
as a team player, is as a heavylifter avatar.
The way that we function on theunit is as a team player, is as
a heavy lifter, and I thinkoftentimes, especially newer
(20:40):
nurses feel like they have tocarry more of the load to prove
themselves, and so they won'task for help because they don't
want to burden other people, andso that too is a form of
inconvenience in terms of Idon't want to inconvenience
another nurse, but I haven't hada break off the floor in eight
hours.
Right, you need to.
You need to ask somebody.
Hey, can you listen for mypatients?
(21:01):
Hey, can you do these twofinger sticks?
I have to go to the bathroom, Ineed to eat something and I
need a drink of water.
I haven't had a 15 yet.
That's.
Those are boundary settings.
That, yeah, does it feel weird,especially if you're a new
nurse to a unit?
Does it feel weird to put anask out there to express a need?
It absolutely does.
But I think it's something thatwe have to support each other
(21:23):
in doing.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You know, I think I can remember being a new nurse
and being absolutely so wildlyintimidated to ask other nurses
for that very thing, A becauseof their responses and B because
I had that weird stigma of, asthe new nurse, like, I've got to
, I've got to carry the heavypack, I have to prove my worth,
(21:47):
I've got to prove I can hack it,and that was just perpetuated
in the culture back then.
Okay, that makes sense, youknow what I'm saying and it's
like we got to stop that.
You know, I think newer nurseshave done a really good job,
especially those of you that youknow were born out of the
pandemic and that kind of chaosin really being able to break
(22:08):
and shift a lot of thosestereotypes.
But I just I what you said inthat note there was so
significant in terms of thatfeeling of inconvenience.
It rears its head in so manydifferent aspects and it is such
a speed bump to us asking forhelp.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Absolutely, and it's.
It's such a if you can kind ofshift your mind a little bit and
shift your perspective on it,you're not inconveniencing
someone else, You're taking careof your needs so that you can
function better.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Absolutely.
I think that sentence rightthere.
It's like we talked aboutbefore we started recording,
where the fact that we're nottalking about it, that's what's
lauded, that's what's prized,that's what you know.
You stick the gold sticker onthe nurse avatar, but that's
exactly the problem.
Talking about it is what healsit.
So the fact that we're nottalking about it, we're not
(23:02):
taking the break, we're notasking for help, is just
perpetuating the harm.
It's just it's it's it'sdigging it deeper into the wound
, as it were, rather than if weactually talk about it, if we do
the thing, we say the thing,that's the actual healing
process.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Well, and that being said too, that doesn't mean that
just because you ask it andyou're in a good place about it,
it does not mean it will bereceived that way, absolutely.
And this is that point whereyou get to pick and choose what
you accept and what you don't.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Holy crap.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
That's such phenomenal advice.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
So if someone gives you a hard time about it, right,
clearly their priorities andyour priorities are not the same
, correct?
And you need to find people whoprioritize the way you
prioritize.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Exactly, and that can be, you know as much as in that
moment, finding the chargenurse or finding somebody else
who either has the mental spaceor the capacity or the priority
like finding importance in thesame thing at the same time to
do so.
If it's a repeated situation,then, yeah, you have to surround
(24:12):
yourself with people that aregoing to support you as much as
you support them, and that is avery real thing.
When it comes to the supportsystems, like we talked about
before the break, you know yoursupport systems at work and your
go-to.
I'm the kind of nurse that II'm not the.
I'm friends with everybody oneight, nine, seven and down in
(24:34):
ortho.
I'm the one that's like.
I have a couple die hard, I'vegot your six in ER, one or two
buddies in the ICU, maybesomebody that transferred over
to PACU, that used to work withme, or whatever.
I have a very small circle.
However, it is a very theequilibrium in the circle and,
(24:54):
like the um, I'm forgetting howto pronounce the E word, but the
equality, you know, between theequivalency between members of
this, of the support system, isthe same.
Yes, you know findinglike-minded, like-focused
individuals and there's nothingwrong with that either way,
right.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
And to clarify too there is nothing wrong with
getting the answer of no Correct.
It's not the answer of no thatwe're having a problem with Nope
Exactly.
It's the attitude that comeswith it.
If it's hi, friend, I hurt yourface and I support you but I
cannot help you right now.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I'm underwater right now.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yes, I'm underwater too.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
That is an acceptable answer from someone who still
cares about you.
Yes, A thousand percent.
The no we're talking about isugh.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
The judgment.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
No one's had breaks here.
What makes you special?
Yeah, you know what you can'twork a full shift and hold your
bladder.
Guess you just haven't beenaround long enough.
Like we have all heard thatnonsense and that is absolute
(26:02):
nonsense.
Right Before we get all woundup on that though I want to.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I want to segue you.
Read my mind Right.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I just happened to catch Jamie taking a drink of
her drink and we almost ended upwearing it on the podcast.
But I want to segue into ourcoffee, crystals and divination
segment because I really want tohear what the cards have to say
about resilience and nursing,and Jamie brought an incredible
deck.
You didn't listen to lastweek's podcast.
(26:27):
The reading was phenomenal, butI will let her talk about it.
I am going to pull our crystalOracle card with the focus this
week of resilience.
So what is our crystalprescription for the week for
resilience?
Last week it was how light whenwe were talking about our nurse
avatar, and it was very apt andincredibly fitting.
But this week let's see whatour crystal prescription is for
(26:54):
Whoa, that literally jumpedright out and it is morganite.
So morganite is an absolutelygorgeous stone.
I am reading from the CrystalPortal Oracle Deck from
Moonstruck Crystals, andmorganite is a gorgeous kind of
(27:17):
peachy red stone.
I had to laugh when I drew it,though, because of the meaning.
So the morganite signifiesalignment, emotional balance,
harmony and compassion.
Embark on a cosmic journey ofalignment with Morganite, where
finding harmony means syncing upwith the planetary rhythms of
the universe.
Just as this crystal radiateslove and compassion, you too can
(27:40):
attune your spirit to theharmonious alignment of the
planets, surrender to theuniversal flow and allow its
gentle guidance to lead youtowards emotional balance and
your true alignment.
Oh my goodness I know, I keepthinking, you know, I'm going to
have to start doing this stufflive, because nobody's going to
believe that these are livedraws.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, I just you know it's so funny how often
something like a certain phaseof the moon will line up with
what I'm going through in mylife.
Yes, it's.
It's crazy when it happens.
You're like what?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
There's a reason that there's so much cultural
context and community gnosissurrounding planetary alignment.
Whether it's quantum physics orwhether it's ancient beliefs,
there's a reason that thesethemes, both scientific and
spiritual, keep repeatingthemselves, and energy being a
constant.
(28:33):
You know, it's kind ofsomething that, no matter what
you believe in, that thesethemes, both scientific and
spiritual, keep repeatingthemselves, and energy being a
constant.
You know, it's kind ofsomething that, no matter what
you believe in, you can alwaysfind some kind of compass or
arrow of truth that justprovides clarity in thinking or
a focus in thinking when itcomes to, you know, the
spiritual aspect of these thingswhen it comes to you know, the
spiritual aspect of these things.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Okay, so, if you remember from last week, I still
have the same Yuletide tarotdeck.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Straight to this deck is deceiving.
I'm telling you the artwork.
It is cute as a buttonChristmas themed, yuletide
themed, solstice themed.
It's gorgeous, it's incredibleand it is it is.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
It is not joking around it.
It's gonna tell you what youneed to hear, correct what you
want got it okay, so we'refocusing on resilience this,
this time all right, and I'mgonna do the same thing.
Have you pick a card.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Okay, let's see, isn't that?
That is weird?
That is one way that I oh, thatis the last one.
That is one way that I pickcards, the cup.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
There's a color variation is it a real color?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
no oh, well, then perfect it's just another form
of intuition.
It just, yeah, I'll look at itand I'm like, oh, that one's a
different color five of goodcheer okay it doesn't look very
cheery at all we're looking atresilience.
My goodness okay goodness umsomebody broke something this is
(29:57):
like this I'm sleeping cat.
There's three broken goblets,but there's two golden goblets
behind the person and a rainbowoverhead.
Okay, five of good.
And I'm telling you theartistic style of this.
It really belies how direct andstraightforward the decks.
The message is the divinatorymeaning of the deck.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Right, okay, so what I have here is for the few words
it's sadness, despair, loss andgrief.
Okay, grief okay, it says.
On the surface there is alittle, if any, good cheer
present on this card.
The figure has gone through themotions of decorating the home
for the season.
The warm glow from the fireplaceindicates that they are, to an
extent, taking care of theirbasic needs I think this is very
(30:44):
apt, uh-huh but there is a deepgrief or sense of yes that is
present and casting a gloom overthe scene that belies the
cheeriness of the tree andgarland.
The individual finds this timeof year immensely painful, and
if every symbol, every baublereminds them of something that
they can never regain, this isthe picture of love lost and
(31:08):
usually through means ofpermanent separation.
This is the face of loss andthe pain that comes as the price
of love.
Yet there is hope, for the catis still content, near the heart
, implying that she is loved bythe one who is in the sufferance
and loss.
There is still love to give.
The two full cups on hearth,imply that not all is lost, and
(31:32):
the rainbow picture above themantle tells him that there is a
path back to love, back tofulfillment.
The old tide can be a cruelreminder of the things and the
people that we no longer have inour lives, and it's okay to
feel these things, dwell on themif you must.
Give them an ear so that youlisten to the whisper of your
own losses, but do not beoverwhelmed by them.
(31:54):
Emotional relocation isdifficult and a challenging
process of the human condition,but there is a rainbow bridge
and there are others who aredeserving of your love and
affection.
You did not lose the ability tolove by losing something or
someone you love.
You are more resilient than yougive yourself credit for.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
This entire time I've been like this is resilience.
They're talking about facingadversity and maintaining
equilibrium, not by ignoring it,not by dismissing it, but
acknowledging it and walkingthrough it.
Because we, as nurses,compartmentalize the living shit
out of everything.
Yeah, so we're able to beresilient and maintain
(32:38):
equilibrium because we stuff itin boxes to just suffer from it
later.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Well, and also I do think that once you cross into
nursing, there is a part of youthat dies.
Yeah, and it's okay.
Yeah, it's okay.
There's a part of evolvementthat you that dies.
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
It's okay, yeah, it's okay, there's a, there's a part
of evolvement that we gothrough.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yeah, you will never not be a nurse once you become a
nurse, correct?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Correct.
Um there's no going back towhat was before.
Exactly Now that you know, youcan't forget, you can't unknow
it.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
And it's okay to lose , the loss of man.
I used to find that fun man.
I used to connect with thesepeople, man, I used to love
doing that.
But now your life has changed.
Yes, it's not just a career,it's a calling, and I know
that's cliche, but it's clichefor a reason.
Yes, like it's the same for areason.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Absolutely.
I mean literally.
It's talking about resilience.
Yeah, Wild, I'm telling you, Iwatched you.
We just did this live, Like wecouldn't have planned this if we
tried.
I think the message of findingemotional balance and especially
both objects the crystalprescription for the week and
(33:43):
the divination reminded us aboutapplying that same love and
compassion towards ourselves inorder to process the emotions,
in order to find that emotionalbalance.
So it's okay to acknowledgeyour you know, if you're
distraught about something, yourgrief process about something,
(34:03):
it's okay to acknowledge theemotions that you're feeling.
Denying them isn't going to,isn't what gives you resilience
or achieves that equilibrium.
It's actually acknowledgingthem and letting them go to the
ability to process Correct.
Correct and you have to do thatwith you know, alignment and I
think I think not just planetaryalignment, but I think that
(34:26):
could be a euphemism foralignment with self Like what do
you find significant in yourbelief system, your morals, your
ethic, what is your North star?
And align, don't lose sight ofthat.
Keep yourself aligned with whatyou believe at your core and
allow that to guide how youprocess these emotions, how you
(34:47):
let certain things go tomaintain your emotional
equilibrium in a healthy way,not the maladaptive coping way
that we do, where our nurseavatar is just full of thousands
of boxes, like an empty storageunit that we just keep
shoveling the shit into, andthat's a very full storage unit.
Yes, it absolutely is.
Well, I want to thank you somuch for being a guest on the
(35:09):
podcast.
I cannot wait to have you again.
This has been so much fun.
We may or may not have anotherepisode in our pocket that, you
know, who knows, may or may notbe released for subscribers.
We'll have to see how that goes, and I would love to have Jamie
back on our podcast.
Until that time, please, please, find your North Star and make
(35:31):
sure that you, with love andcompassion, are allowing
yourself to process what youneed and taking care of yourself
, because we cannot take care ofanybody else if we're not
taking care of ourselves.
So thank you so much for beingon the podcast.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Thank you so much for having me.
This has been so much fun.
Dude this has been great.
I was like I need this thisweek.
I love this.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
But, as always, take care of yourselves, and I love
your faces.
This is your Ritual Nurse Reva.
Thanks for tuning in to theRitual Nurse podcast.
You can find us wherever youlisten to podcasts, so don't
forget to subscribe and stayconnected For all our social
links, free education classes,blogs and podcast notes with
(36:14):
resources head over to tcthorg.
Until next time, love yourfaces.
Welcome to the Ritual Nurse, where healing meets
humor, science and a touch ofmagic.
Hello everybody and welcomeback to the podcast.
This is the Ritual Nurse and myname is Reba, your host.
If you're listening to us forthe first time, this is a
phenomenal podcast focused allon nursing and nursing-related
(00:32):
topics regarding self-care,mental health, healing, and this
week is our second week withour incredible guest, jamie, who
is a fellow nurse.
You're not going to want tomiss the first episode with
Jamie, so if you haven'tlistened to that, as soon as
you're done with this, go runand listen to that one.
This second episode, we're goingto continue the conversation
and we're going to do a littlebit of a deeper dive in looking
(00:55):
at resilience and stressmanagement More specifically,
what kind of goodies and tipscan we give you guys for stress
management in real time on thejob?
Because we realize a lot ofwhat we talk about regarding
self-care and intentional space.
The rituals that you create inyour intentional space for
self-care are all things that wedo off the floor or after shift
(01:21):
is over, outside of our workenvironment.
So today, jamie, welcome back.
I am so excited to have you onthis next episode.
Let me hear some of yourthoughts, or maybe things you
yourself do in terms of stressmanagement on the floor when
you're handling that chaos.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Well, hello again.
So some of the things that Ilike to do when I'm on the floor
and I'm really stressed out isand it's going to depend the
tools that I use are going todepend on what needs to be
accomplished Correct.
So, for example, there aretimes where I'm stressed out and
I feel like my brain is goingin 10 different directions and I
need it to focus on one.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
So, pick a lane right , pick a lane at that rate.
Um, and this always happenswhen I'm, like in the supply,
closet right.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Why?
What is it about?
Speaker 2 (02:08):
supply closets, that does it to us.
I don't know, but it's the thing, man.
So I start saying things outloud.
I'm looking for this, and byverbalizing it and hearing my
own voice it helps keep me ontrack.
Yes, another thing that I liketo do is I had this experience
at one point when I had walkedout my front door and this was
(02:29):
like one of those really bigfull moons, and I remember going
to take the trash out and Ijust looked up and there was
this giant moon in front of meand all of a sudden it was this
feeling of like stillness, oh,yes, yes, calm, and you know
time is moving differently.
And so I actually made a pointof kind of encapsulating that
(02:50):
moment and trying to rememberwhat it felt like so that I
could draw on it when I neededit.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
That's phenomenal.
So what you could say is if you, as a nurse or healthcare
provider because this reallyapplies to all of us that are in
the scenarios if you have amoment that you have in your
memory, that is a time when youfelt that absolute stillness,
looking out at the ocean, a lake, listening to the sound of rain
(03:18):
, anything just one significantmoment that evokes that memory
and feel of that stillness, bothphysical and mental.
Utilize that on the floor whenyou are at kind of red line,
that overload point where youneed to make decisions, you need
to follow protocols, you needto have conversations, you need
(03:41):
to call for orders, you need tospeak to patients, families,
whatever the demands might be,but you feel that your nervous
system or your psyche, that youare on overload, you're, you've
stopped processing incoming data, you're not hearing orders or
people correctly, or I noticeit's my level of frustration,
(04:02):
this teeth gritting, kind ofshoulders hunched, like level of
.
Of.
It's not anger, it is like a,it is like a tenseness, it's
like a, a sense of anxiety andfrustration coupled together.
I know when I start feeling that, that I am at overwhelm point
and this kind of exercise Iwould be able to do.
Standing next to my computerwhile charting, I literally
(04:25):
could stop and drop my shouldersand envision that moment and,
like you, what you said was sosignificant.
You not only think about themoment but you evoke or think
about the physical sensation ofthat stillness, and I think
that's the key component iscombining both of those in order
to evoke the same physicalresponse.
(04:46):
You're going to have that sameparasympathetic nervous system
response in that moment andthat's going to slow all the
catecholamines down.
It's going to slow the responsedown blood flow to operational
areas that are required to hearand process executive
functioning.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Well, and to piggyback off some of the things
that I know that you've touchedon before a lot of times, I
will pair this imaging exercisewith a breath or two.
Oh, excellent, I will inhalethat feeling and exhale the
business.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Oh, excellent, inhaling the feeling as you yes,
absolutely, because you are.
You're bringing that in.
It's like you are, you'recentering it in yourself and
making that overactive mind orthat over anxious mind,
physically utilize, you know,one of your five senses to
(05:43):
internalize that feeling thatyou're envisioning, which is
phenomenal, and then exhaling.
You're exhaling that energy,that negativity, that stress,
whatever it is away from you.
That's incredible.
Visually, for visualizationpurposes, that's incredible
because you can do that in asupply closet.
You can do it on the floor.
It doesn't matter where you are, but that's something that you
(06:04):
can do.
When it comes to resilience onthe floor resilience I've talked
about this in earlier podcasts,but the definition of
resilience is really, when we'refaced with adversity or
challenges, our ability tomaintain equilibrium is is
actually our resilience.
That's the definition ofresilience.
(06:24):
And when you think about thestress levels on the floor,
there's usually man a lot oftimes on the floor.
There aren't known variables.
Like all of the variables arein flux.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Those are my favorite kind, by the way, you know what
I'm saying.
Like all the variables are influx.
Those are my favorite kind, bythe way you know what I'm saying
.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Like all the variables are in flux.
What would your, what wouldyour advice be?
Or or how have you learned tomaintain your equilibrium when
there isn't there's there?
There isn't a known, you knowmarker, there isn't a known
structure that that you can basethat on you know marker.
There isn't a known structurethat that you can base that on
(07:06):
you know, like whether yourpatients, everything from their
vitals to their significantothers, reactions to the doctor
on call, you know, all of thevariables are in flux.
So what do you do to maintainthat equilibrium?
Is there a certain way youchart?
Is there, you know?
Is it in your nursing brain?
Is there a structure you giveyourself?
(07:27):
Like, how do you?
Speaker 2 (07:29):
so there's two things that come to mind.
One is I am only one person.
Yes, you know and it's just, Ithink as nurses, we really have
to remind ourselves of that,because you're like no, I can do
it.
No, I can do it, no, I got it.
Speaker 1 (07:43):
You know, right.
Speaker 2 (07:44):
Sometimes you just have to delegate yes, you just
do yes.
And it's not just for you knowthe safety of the patient or the
situation.
Sometimes it's for your mentalhealth.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (07:53):
Um, and that's not to say you should be like dumping
all the things you don't want todo in your scene.
Speaker 1 (07:57):
No, no, no no.
Speaker 2 (07:58):
But, like sometimes you're like I am overwhelmed,
Right?
It would really help me out,buddy, if you could pass this
med and then I could just kickit off my list and not worry
about it.
Speaker 1 (08:07):
Right?
I think that's a prime exampleof being efficient in order to
provide the best care, ratherthan providing mediocre care in
several avenues, you know, likeconsolidating your efforts into
one superb effort because you'vedelegated something off of your
(08:29):
list, rather than it beingmediocre effort across all three
things.
Speaker 2 (08:32):
Right and just to kind of like piggyback off that
idea.
One thing that I have learnedis that just because I push
through it doesn't mean that I'mfunctioning better.
Speaker 1 (08:42):
Yes, oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (08:44):
Yeah, so, like sometimes, taking your lunch
break is more necessary somedays than it is other days, and
part of the reason is, yeah, Iunderstand, it's 30 minutes of
your time.
You're not going to get back.
However, you're going tofunction way better after you
eat something, absolutely.
So take the 5, 10, 15 minutesthat you need, whether you've
(09:07):
taken your lunch break alreadyor not.
If you need that time, you needthat time, correct.
Just take the time, go to thebathroom, drink some water, get
something to eat.
Don't think about the floor forfive minutes, correct.
And when you come back to it,you're gonna be so much more
organized, so much lessscattered yes, so much less
stressed out, because you'vetaken care of the human needs
(09:29):
Correct, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
I think that's vastly , wildly important.
We often kind of wear thisbadge of.
You know our nurse avatar isunstoppable.
They are tireless.
They need no water or bathroombreaks.
You know, they can work a16-hour shift.
Pull one for the team.
We've got this, whereas whatwe're not doing is we're not
(09:53):
acknowledging the human of usthat has limits, that has needs,
that has physiologicalexhaustion, that has upper
limits of endocrine problemslike okay, I, okay, I am
overtaxed and overstimulated.
I can't do this at the moment.
You know my fight or flightsystem is in flight and already
gone right.
So taking the time to recenterreally slows that entire process
(10:18):
down and I think it's important, like you noted, stop thinking
about the floor for a minute.
It's okay to stop thinkingabout your patient for five
minutes and just let your mindbreathe.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
And, that being said, don't hop on your phone either,
like you don't need thatstimulation.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
Exactly.
This is not overstimulate inanother area, because you have
that innate desire to dopaminefarm, right?
You know cause you're feelingburned out, so you don't have
dopamine and we can generatethat dopamine in some other way
than persistent onslaught ofstimulation.
Speaker 2 (10:53):
Right, I'm like just just just enjoy the S word, or
the Q word.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
Right, we're not going to say it, but yes, that
aspect, yes.
Speaker 2 (11:03):
Because your mental health needs that too.
Yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
It's funny.
Even even in podcasts, we don'twant to say that no.
We don't want to say that no,because then it'll follow you.
Speaker 2 (11:13):
Right.
My next shift is going to beterrible.
If I say that Correct, we'renot saying it.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
It's not even happening, we're not even
discussing it.
I wanted to really kind ofquickly touch on support systems
.
So kind of give me, just giveme an encapsulated idea of, like
, what a support system means toyou.
How have you used that tosupport yourself, like mental
health, self-care?
What does that mean to you?
Speaker 2 (11:38):
So, in terms of a support system, I have found
people in my life that A who canaccept me for who I am.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (11:44):
All the bits and pieces, yes and B.
They are people that may notalways understand what I'm going
through, but they will listenand be there.
Excellent and that's what Ineed.
Speaker 1 (11:55):
Okay, excellent.
Do you think that supportsystems a lot of times as nurses
we kind of tend to we're not,you know, it's not a mean girls
kind of thing, but we kind oftend to pod together Do you
think it is important toespecially newer nurses to make
sure that they keep the thatexistential support system in
(12:15):
place and not just I feel like Ifeel like we isolate in nursing
?
Do you know what I'm saying.
I do like, like we tend togravitate towards nurses,
whether it's from a feeling oflike other people won't get it,
or our jokes horrify them, or Idon't know, but I just I feel
like maintaining life outside ofnursing is okay and necessary,
(12:44):
but for some reason, I think wekind of have this belief that
it's the like.
What do you mean?
You have a life outside ofnursing.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
So I think for me and I think other, maybe neuro
spicy people might identify withthis.
Speaker 1 (12:59):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
But I tend to jump into things, go a thousand
percent and obsess about it.
Yes, and that's exactly what Idid.
When I first started my nursingcareer was like everything was
nursing.
Yes, absolutely, and I totallyhad like zero chill about it,
like you know, and I had tolearn like everything was
nursing yes, absolutely, and Itotally had like zero chill
about it Like you know, and Ihad to learn, like I think the
big question that I've beenasking myself over the last
(13:21):
couple of months of um,separating my identity from my
nursing avatar is what do I need?
What do I want?
Right, and so it's.
It's slowly just evolved into I, I nurse, and then I come home
and take care of the house andkeep it clean, cause that's what
(13:41):
I'm supposed to do too.
I have all these other facets asa person and all of these
facets need attention Absolutely, and so I've really, in my self
routine, actually have starteddivorcing myself from my career.
Love it, because it needs tohappen.
I mean, there are parts ofmyself that I've neglected for
(14:03):
so long.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yes.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
And it's like.
I busted out painting somethingthe other day and I realized
that I don't paint things thataren like simple or within the
lines, because it stresses meout, and I was like.
I was like I think this defeatsthe purpose, Like, and so I had
to relearn how to just letwhatever comes out comes out on
(14:26):
paper.
Speaker 1 (14:27):
get paint on the canvas or get it on paper, yeah,
exactly.
Speaker 2 (14:29):
And so it was actually ironically I had to
relearn how to do some of thesesmaller things, and that's where
I am in my process, where I'mreclaiming those other parts of
myself that I buried, you know,years before nursing school.
Speaker 1 (14:42):
Yes, yes, yes.
That is absolutely phenomenal.
I really like what you saidabout divorcing that nurse
avatar.
So often when we enter nursingand that nurse avatar starts
getting built, it's like we getseatbelted in for the ride and
it takes us, and sometimes wedon't successfully do it, we
(15:03):
forget how to get out.
I'll, you know, I'll be walkingaround a grocery store and see
somebody and I'm you know arethey.
Are they having a stroke?
Is there?
You know you're innatelyassessing everything in your
environment.
That's a trauma response.
That hypervigilance is a traumaresponse.
It is okay for me to go to thegrocery store and not be a
(15:28):
critical care nurse or an ERnurse.
Like I can literally just go tothe grocery store in my sweats
and pick up mac and cheese andleave Goodbye, Like I don't have
to be on all the time.
Speaker 2 (15:38):
I do struggle with that a little.
I'm not going to lie, I know, Iknow, like I look at people's
calves and I'm like those aren'tsupposed to be that big Right
you know, is there preferredBEMA happening Like what's going
on here?
Speaker 1 (15:48):
But I think it's.
I think it's super importantfor us to be able to divorce
that nurse avatar without guilt,because otherwise we'll never
be able to find self and likewhat you're doing is finding
self because you have gotunhooked the seatbelt.
Speaker 2 (16:08):
It's like.
It's like you know, lopping offan arm doesn't make you whole
Like you still need the otherarm.
You can't just pretend it's notthere Exactly.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
That is epic.
So right now we are going to goto break.
If you have to head back to thefloor, well, we wish you the
absolute smoothest of shifts andthe most fun patients.
(16:39):
The least critical scenarios,the best residents and the
lightest amount of orders.
We don't wish you the Q word.
No, there is no.
No, the Q and the S, that doesjust does not happen.
We're not even saying it.
So if you are going to hang outwith us and stick around, enjoy
the musical interlude here, getyourself some tea, some coffee,
whatever it is, and we will beback.
We're going to continue thediscussion with Jamie, a couple
more points of advice and, ofcourse, another segment of our
(17:02):
Coffee Crystals and Divination,but we will see you shortly
after the break.
All right if you have stuck withus so far.
Thank you so much.
We are going to get back intoour topic.
We have been focusing oneverything from resilience and
stress building mind, body,spirit care.
(17:24):
This is a second part episodewith our guest Jamie.
We've had two absolutelyincredible episodes, some of the
most golden information that Ithink has come out of discussing
this stuff with another nurse.
We've really kind of delvedinto this created topic of the
nurse avatar.
You're definitely going to wantto listen to last week's
(17:46):
episode to catch up with wherewe're at today, but I really
want to kind of delve intoadvice for new nurses or other
nurses.
So if you met a brand new nursewho was about to start in the
ICU, what would you tell themabout taking care of themselves
first so they can care forothers effectively?
Speaker 2 (18:07):
One of the best pieces of advice that I've
actually received as a nurse wastake, you know, at least one
day a week to go do somethingfun, right.
And at first I don't think Ireally truly grasped this
concept, because I'm over herelike, yeah, watching TV is fun.
Yeah, doing this is fun, right,that's mindless.
It's mindless or it is fun, butthe fun that needs to be had is
(18:30):
the kind of fun where you can'tthink about anything else
except the great time thatyou're having.
Speaker 1 (18:35):
Oh, I see what you're saying.
Okay, A mindfulness in a in acompletely different manner.
Speaker 2 (18:40):
Yeah, like I'm having so much fun right now, like I
am a million miles away from mytroubles.
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
Absolutely.
And, to note, you can do thatkind of stuff for free.
That has nothing to do with acost variable or the
expensiveness of something, nordoes it have to do with company.
I mean, I can think of severalactivities that you know,
outdoors, hobby or craftingactivities that are solo,
activities that are also notexpensive.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So for me, being alone is probably like the
antithesis of what I would needto do, right?
Speaker 1 (19:15):
And for some people that is yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (19:18):
Because my brain's like okay, we're going to think
about things, but when I'm withothers, I find that it's a lot
easier to disengage with my ownthought process and engage with
what's going on around.
Speaker 1 (19:30):
Absolutely, that makes a thousand percent sense.
You wrote something in yournotes here about sometimes
taking care of yourself isinconvenient to others, and
that's why it's important tosurround yourself with people
that can support you, even ifthey don't understand what
you're going through.
Talk to me about that, becauseI think there's so much truth to
that statement, and it'ssomething that keeps us, as
(19:52):
nurse avatars who provide foreveryone else, from engaging in
self-care.
Speaker 2 (19:57):
Inconvenient could be .
It's three o'clock in themorning and I still haven't gone
to sleep yet, because my brainwon't shut off.
Yes, and it's calling a friendor it's taking a bath, yeah
absolutely.
But those are all like.
I have people in my life that Icould call at 3 am and be like
bro.
I just need, to like, get mymind on a different track.
(20:17):
So I can get sleepy and notobsess about my day at work.
Speaker 1 (20:20):
Absolutely, that makes total sense.
I think in another aspect,people don't want to burden
others.
Like our nurse avatar, the waythat we function on the unit is
as a team player, is as a heavylifter avatar.
The way that we function on theunit is as a team player, is as
a heavy lifter, and I thinkoftentimes, especially newer
(20:40):
nurses feel like they have tocarry more of the load to prove
themselves, and so they won'task for help because they don't
want to burden other people, andso that too is a form of
inconvenience in terms of Idon't want to inconvenience
another nurse, but I haven't hada break off the floor in eight
hours.
Right, you need to.
You need to ask somebody.
Hey, can you listen for mypatients?
(21:01):
Hey, can you do these twofinger sticks?
I have to go to the bathroom, Ineed to eat something and I
need a drink of water.
I haven't had a 15 yet.
That's.
Those are boundary settings.
That, yeah, does it feel weird,especially if you're a new
nurse to a unit?
Does it feel weird to put anask out there to express a need?
It absolutely does.
But I think it's something thatwe have to support each other
(21:23):
in doing.
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
You know, I think I can remember being a new nurse
and being absolutely so wildlyintimidated to ask other nurses
for that very thing, A becauseof their responses and B because
I had that weird stigma of, asthe new nurse, like, I've got to
, I've got to carry the heavypack, I have to prove my worth,
(21:47):
I've got to prove I can hack it,and that was just perpetuated
in the culture back then.
Okay, that makes sense, youknow what I'm saying and it's
like we got to stop that.
You know, I think newer nurseshave done a really good job,
especially those of you that youknow were born out of the
pandemic and that kind of chaosin really being able to break
(22:08):
and shift a lot of thosestereotypes.
But I just I what you said inthat note there was so
significant in terms of thatfeeling of inconvenience.
It rears its head in so manydifferent aspects and it is such
a speed bump to us asking forhelp.
Speaker 2 (22:27):
Absolutely, and it's.
It's such a if you can kind ofshift your mind a little bit and
shift your perspective on it,you're not inconveniencing
someone else, You're taking careof your needs so that you can
function better.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Absolutely.
I think that sentence rightthere.
It's like we talked aboutbefore we started recording,
where the fact that we're nottalking about it, that's what's
lauded, that's what's prized,that's what you know.
You stick the gold sticker onthe nurse avatar, but that's
exactly the problem.
Talking about it is what healsit.
So the fact that we're nottalking about it, we're not
(23:02):
taking the break, we're notasking for help, is just
perpetuating the harm.
It's just it's it's it'sdigging it deeper into the wound
, as it were, rather than if weactually talk about it, if we do
the thing, we say the thing,that's the actual healing
process.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Well, and that being said too, that doesn't mean that
just because you ask it andyou're in a good place about it,
it does not mean it will bereceived that way, absolutely.
And this is that point whereyou get to pick and choose what
you accept and what you don't.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (23:35):
Holy crap.
Speaker 1 (23:37):
That's such phenomenal advice.
Speaker 2 (23:38):
So if someone gives you a hard time about it, right,
clearly their priorities andyour priorities are not the same
, correct?
And you need to find people whoprioritize the way you
prioritize.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
Exactly, and that can be, you know as much as in that
moment, finding the chargenurse or finding somebody else
who either has the mental spaceor the capacity or the priority
like finding importance in thesame thing at the same time to
do so.
If it's a repeated situation,then, yeah, you have to surround
(24:12):
yourself with people that aregoing to support you as much as
you support them, and that is avery real thing.
When it comes to the supportsystems, like we talked about
before the break, you know yoursupport systems at work and your
go-to.
I'm the kind of nurse that II'm not the.
I'm friends with everybody oneight, nine, seven and down in
(24:34):
ortho.
I'm the one that's like.
I have a couple die hard, I'vegot your six in ER, one or two
buddies in the ICU, maybesomebody that transferred over
to PACU, that used to work withme, or whatever.
I have a very small circle.
However, it is a very theequilibrium in the circle and,
(24:54):
like the um, I'm forgetting howto pronounce the E word, but the
equality, you know, between theequivalency between members of
this, of the support system, isthe same.
Yes, you know findinglike-minded, like-focused
individuals and there's nothingwrong with that either way,
right.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
And to clarify too there is nothing wrong with
getting the answer of no Correct.
It's not the answer of no thatwe're having a problem with Nope
Exactly.
It's the attitude that comeswith it.
If it's hi, friend, I hurt yourface and I support you but I
cannot help you right now.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
I'm underwater right now.
Speaker 2 (25:31):
Yes, I'm underwater too.
Speaker 1 (25:33):
That is an acceptable answer from someone who still
cares about you.
Yes, A thousand percent.
The no we're talking about isugh.
Speaker 2 (25:41):
The judgment.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
No one's had breaks here.
What makes you special?
Yeah, you know what you can'twork a full shift and hold your
bladder.
Guess you just haven't beenaround long enough.
Like we have all heard thatnonsense and that is absolute
(26:02):
nonsense.
Right Before we get all woundup on that though I want to.
Speaker 2 (26:04):
I want to segue you.
Read my mind Right.
Speaker 1 (26:06):
I just happened to catch Jamie taking a drink of
her drink and we almost ended upwearing it on the podcast.
But I want to segue into ourcoffee, crystals and divination
segment because I really want tohear what the cards have to say
about resilience and nursing,and Jamie brought an incredible
deck.
You didn't listen to lastweek's podcast.
(26:27):
The reading was phenomenal, butI will let her talk about it.
I am going to pull our crystalOracle card with the focus this
week of resilience.
So what is our crystalprescription for the week for
resilience?
Last week it was how light whenwe were talking about our nurse
avatar, and it was very apt andincredibly fitting.
But this week let's see whatour crystal prescription is for
(26:54):
Whoa, that literally jumpedright out and it is morganite.
So morganite is an absolutelygorgeous stone.
I am reading from the CrystalPortal Oracle Deck from
Moonstruck Crystals, andmorganite is a gorgeous kind of
(27:17):
peachy red stone.
I had to laugh when I drew it,though, because of the meaning.
So the morganite signifiesalignment, emotional balance,
harmony and compassion.
Embark on a cosmic journey ofalignment with Morganite, where
finding harmony means syncing upwith the planetary rhythms of
the universe.
Just as this crystal radiateslove and compassion, you too can
(27:40):
attune your spirit to theharmonious alignment of the
planets, surrender to theuniversal flow and allow its
gentle guidance to lead youtowards emotional balance and
your true alignment.
Oh my goodness I know, I keepthinking, you know, I'm going to
have to start doing this stufflive, because nobody's going to
believe that these are livedraws.
Speaker 2 (28:01):
Well, I just you know it's so funny how often
something like a certain phaseof the moon will line up with
what I'm going through in mylife.
Yes, it's.
It's crazy when it happens.
You're like what?
Speaker 1 (28:13):
There's a reason that there's so much cultural
context and community gnosissurrounding planetary alignment.
Whether it's quantum physics orwhether it's ancient beliefs,
there's a reason that thesethemes, both scientific and
spiritual, keep repeatingthemselves, and energy being a
constant.
(28:33):
You know, it's kind ofsomething that, no matter what
you believe in, that thesethemes, both scientific and
spiritual, keep repeatingthemselves, and energy being a
constant.
You know, it's kind ofsomething that, no matter what
you believe in, you can alwaysfind some kind of compass or
arrow of truth that justprovides clarity in thinking or
a focus in thinking when itcomes to, you know, the
spiritual aspect of these thingswhen it comes to you know, the
spiritual aspect of these things.
Speaker 2 (28:53):
Okay, so, if you remember from last week, I still
have the same Yuletide tarotdeck.
Speaker 1 (28:58):
Straight to this deck is deceiving.
I'm telling you the artwork.
It is cute as a buttonChristmas themed, yuletide
themed, solstice themed.
It's gorgeous, it's incredibleand it is it is.
Speaker 2 (29:14):
It is not joking around it.
It's gonna tell you what youneed to hear, correct what you
want got it okay, so we'refocusing on resilience this,
this time all right, and I'mgonna do the same thing.
Have you pick a card.
Speaker 1 (29:24):
Okay, let's see, isn't that?
That is weird?
That is one way that I oh, thatis the last one.
That is one way that I pickcards, the cup.
Speaker 2 (29:32):
There's a color variation is it a real color?
Speaker 1 (29:35):
no oh, well, then perfect it's just another form
of intuition.
It just, yeah, I'll look at itand I'm like, oh, that one's a
different color five of goodcheer okay it doesn't look very
cheery at all we're looking atresilience.
My goodness okay goodness umsomebody broke something this is
(29:57):
like this I'm sleeping cat.
There's three broken goblets,but there's two golden goblets
behind the person and a rainbowoverhead.
Okay, five of good.
And I'm telling you theartistic style of this.
It really belies how direct andstraightforward the decks.
The message is the divinatorymeaning of the deck.
Speaker 2 (30:19):
Right, okay, so what I have here is for the few words
it's sadness, despair, loss andgrief.
Okay, grief okay, it says.
On the surface there is alittle, if any, good cheer
present on this card.
The figure has gone through themotions of decorating the home
for the season.
The warm glow from the fireplaceindicates that they are, to an
extent, taking care of theirbasic needs I think this is very
(30:44):
apt, uh-huh but there is a deepgrief or sense of yes that is
present and casting a gloom overthe scene that belies the
cheeriness of the tree andgarland.
The individual finds this timeof year immensely painful, and
if every symbol, every baublereminds them of something that
they can never regain, this isthe picture of love lost and
(31:08):
usually through means ofpermanent separation.
This is the face of loss andthe pain that comes as the price
of love.
Yet there is hope, for the catis still content, near the heart
, implying that she is loved bythe one who is in the sufferance
and loss.
There is still love to give.
The two full cups on hearth,imply that not all is lost, and
(31:32):
the rainbow picture above themantle tells him that there is a
path back to love, back tofulfillment.
The old tide can be a cruelreminder of the things and the
people that we no longer have inour lives, and it's okay to
feel these things, dwell on themif you must.
Give them an ear so that youlisten to the whisper of your
own losses, but do not beoverwhelmed by them.
(31:54):
Emotional relocation isdifficult and a challenging
process of the human condition,but there is a rainbow bridge
and there are others who aredeserving of your love and
affection.
You did not lose the ability tolove by losing something or
someone you love.
You are more resilient than yougive yourself credit for.
Speaker 1 (32:16):
This entire time I've been like this is resilience.
They're talking about facingadversity and maintaining
equilibrium, not by ignoring it,not by dismissing it, but
acknowledging it and walkingthrough it.
Because we, as nurses,compartmentalize the living shit
out of everything.
Yeah, so we're able to beresilient and maintain
(32:38):
equilibrium because we stuff itin boxes to just suffer from it
later.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
Well, and also I do think that once you cross into
nursing, there is a part of youthat dies.
Yeah, and it's okay.
Yeah, it's okay.
There's a part of evolvementthat you that dies.
Yeah, and it's.
Speaker 1 (32:51):
It's okay, yeah, it's okay, there's a, there's a part
of evolvement that we gothrough.
Speaker 2 (32:54):
Yeah, you will never not be a nurse once you become a
nurse, correct?
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Correct.
Um there's no going back towhat was before.
Exactly Now that you know, youcan't forget, you can't unknow
it.
Speaker 2 (33:04):
And it's okay to lose , the loss of man.
I used to find that fun man.
I used to connect with thesepeople, man, I used to love
doing that.
But now your life has changed.
Yes, it's not just a career,it's a calling, and I know
that's cliche, but it's clichefor a reason.
Yes, like it's the same for areason.
Speaker 1 (33:22):
Absolutely.
I mean literally.
It's talking about resilience.
Yeah, Wild, I'm telling you, Iwatched you.
We just did this live, Like wecouldn't have planned this if we
tried.
I think the message of findingemotional balance and especially
both objects the crystalprescription for the week and
(33:43):
the divination reminded us aboutapplying that same love and
compassion towards ourselves inorder to process the emotions,
in order to find that emotionalbalance.
So it's okay to acknowledgeyour you know, if you're
distraught about something, yourgrief process about something,
(34:03):
it's okay to acknowledge theemotions that you're feeling.
Denying them isn't going to,isn't what gives you resilience
or achieves that equilibrium.
It's actually acknowledgingthem and letting them go to the
ability to process Correct.
Correct and you have to do thatwith you know, alignment and I
think I think not just planetaryalignment, but I think that
(34:26):
could be a euphemism foralignment with self Like what do
you find significant in yourbelief system, your morals, your
ethic, what is your North star?
And align, don't lose sight ofthat.
Keep yourself aligned with whatyou believe at your core and
allow that to guide how youprocess these emotions, how you
(34:47):
let certain things go tomaintain your emotional
equilibrium in a healthy way,not the maladaptive coping way
that we do, where our nurseavatar is just full of thousands
of boxes, like an empty storageunit that we just keep
shoveling the shit into, andthat's a very full storage unit.
Yes, it absolutely is.
Well, I want to thank you somuch for being a guest on the
(35:09):
podcast.
I cannot wait to have you again.
This has been so much fun.
We may or may not have anotherepisode in our pocket that, you
know, who knows, may or may notbe released for subscribers.
We'll have to see how that goes, and I would love to have Jamie
back on our podcast.
Until that time, please, please, find your North Star and make
(35:31):
sure that you, with love andcompassion, are allowing
yourself to process what youneed and taking care of yourself
, because we cannot take care ofanybody else if we're not
taking care of ourselves.
So thank you so much for beingon the podcast.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Thank you so much for having me.
This has been so much fun.
Dude this has been great.
I was like I need this thisweek.
I love this.
Speaker 1 (35:52):
But, as always, take care of yourselves, and I love
your faces.
This is your Ritual Nurse Reva.
Thanks for tuning in to theRitual Nurse podcast.
You can find us wherever youlisten to podcasts, so don't
forget to subscribe and stayconnected For all our social
links, free education classes,blogs and podcast notes with
(36:14):
resources head over to tcthorg.
Until next time, love yourfaces.
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