April 9, 2025 • 25 mins
TXT us your feedback!! <3 your fayce!
Ever felt like you're just done — with the shifts, the drama, the expectations, the trauma? Yeah, same. This week on The Ritual Nurse, we’re talking about real boundaries — not just the kind where you say no to picking up a shift, but the kind that protect your emotional, spiritual, and energetic capacity. Inspired by the new series The Pitt (which hit way too close to home), this episode gets honest about how even watching fictional portrayals of nursing trauma, or even just overextending ourselves on a daily basis, can push us past our limits.
💔 From emotional flashbacks to emergency chaos, and all the boundaries we never learned to set — we’re unpacking it all.
Then, we lighten it up with some hilarious (and horrifying) stories from simulation (what do you MEAN "you have p3nis on your gloves?!") and my own new grad “what even is nursing?!” moments. Because let’s be real — we’ve all got those stories.
Finally, we wrap with this week’s Crystals, Coffee, and Divination:
☕ Coffee: DIY Budget Affogato (yes, you can make it at home and keep it dairy-free!)
💎 Crystal: Amethyst – Lunar Insight (calm, intuition, spiritual wisdom)
🃏 Tarot: The Devil – Labradorite (break the cycle, reclaim your power)
✨ Want to be part of the show? Tell me your best “you didn’t know you didn’t know” story from nursing school or your new grad days! Seriously — I want to read them on air. We can keep it anon. ;) Email me, DM me, or use the feedback form in the show notes.
Links:
💌 Send your story: https://tcth.org/the-ritual-nurse-podcast/
🌐 Website: https://tcth.org
📧 Email: hello@ritualnurse.com
💬 Social: @TheCodeTeam
Hey! Make sure you subscribe to stay connected. Love a nurse? Who doesn't! Share with all the nurses you know. The more we reach, the more we help. We feel like no one deserves center stage focus more than nurses and our mission is to reach the millions of superstars out there. We'd love to hear your stories, your adventures, your wins, and especially your needs and questions! Email us at hello@ritualnurse (dot) com. Also, you can send us fan mail! Use the link at the beginning of the show notes. Resources, classes, blogs, and podcast info can be found on our home site at TCTH.org. The Ritual Nurse Podcast is part of The Code Team educational platform.
Love your FAYCES!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:11):
Welcome to the Ritual Nurse, where healing meets
humor, science and a touch ofmagic.
Hey, hi.
Welcome back to the RitualNurse where we mix science,
spirit and a sprinkle of sarcasmto help nurses put themselves
first.
Finally, I'm your host, reva,nurse, educator, ritualista,
(00:34):
trauma survivor and your pockethype woman.
This week, oh, this week, we'regetting real about boundaries,
Not just the I'm not picking upthat extra shift kind, but the
kind that protects your peace.
And yes, we're talking alsoabout the show the Pit.
If you know, you know and ifyou've watched it, yeah, it's
(00:55):
amazing.
Stick around for some wild newgrad who stories a simulation
flashback moment with mystudents.
And of course we'll close withCrystal's Coffee and Divination
moment with my students.
And of course we'll close withCrystal's Coffee and Divination.
This week's coffee it'sAffogato baby Budget edition,
tarot and Crystal insight.
You're not ready for this one,so let's get into it.
All right, so let's talkboundaries.
(01:17):
This is not the kind you setwhen you finally say no to a
weekend shift after working sixin a row, although, yes, please
do that too.
But the boundaries that areinvisible, internal and
sometimes way harder to setbecause you're setting them with
yourself Watching some of thepit cracked something open in me
(01:37):
.
It's one of the most accurateportrayals of the emotional
trauma we experience inhealthcare that I've ever seen.
So accurate, in fact, that I'veever seen.
So accurate, in fact, that Ican't watch the episodes.
I had to sit with that for aminute and listen really closely
to what my inner voice wastrying to tell me.
See, in order for us to dothings like read emotional books
, watch emotional shows, we haveto have a reserve or capacity
(02:02):
of emotion available to feel allthose feelings for things that
aren't actually happening to usin that moment and when we can't
.
That tells us that real lifehas us operating at a beyond
capacity level, emotionally, Imean, given everything going on
from workplace violence to thedaily insanity.
(02:22):
Well, just waking up every dayand seeing anything whatsoever
on any form of media, it's kindof like a given.
So when our jobs also compoundthat tenfold, it gets really
hard to know where to be andwhat we have the capacity to
engage in.
Everything about it, from thelighting, the sounds, the chaos,
(02:45):
the emotions, from frustrationto heartbreak, to elation, to
anger, to camaraderie,hopelessness, humor the show
literally has everything and ithas it all accurately.
I was right back in the ERduring some wild shifts, in the
dark corners of the ICU at 0300,desperately racking my brain
(03:08):
trying to keep my near-deathpatient from coding, and there's
not a soul in sight, crying inthe med room holding the hands
of the dying when no family wereallowed in.
This show doesn't just capturemoments, it captures our moments
and it really kind of sent meon that emotional rollercoaster,
maybe not of things that theshow explicitly pictured like in
(03:33):
that episode, but things thatwere so similar and evoked
emotions, so similar that I wasright back in those fields and
it just sent me on an absoluterollercoaster of a ride, no
matter which episode that Ipicked to try to watch, because
it's like I said, it's not justcapturing moments, it's
capturing and it reminded me whywe need boundaries that aren't
(03:55):
just about time but aboutcapacity.
Saying no to a shift is totallyvalid.
Saying no to things likeconversations, to deeply
emotional engaging shows, toeven reliving trauma that your
brain isn't ready to hold today.
Not only is that kind of stuffvalid, but it's inherently
(04:16):
necessary.
And this is everything from youknow taking a trip, going out
to dinner, doing somethingsocial, anything that's going to
require emotional input andemotional reserve from you.
All of these are valid thingsto say no to in the moment, and
sometimes it is inherentlynecessary.
(04:39):
Today we're bombarded with inputlike everything cranked up to
volume 20 all the time, andlearning to create spaces
intentionally for yourself,habitually for yourself, in
which you touch base and takestock of where you are at that
moment and then settingboundaries on what can stay in
(05:01):
your airspace and what you'regoing to pass is necessary.
The more you do it, the moreyou become aware of what is
healthy and thriving for you andwhat doesn't serve your time in
that moment.
I'm not saying let's go drasticand cold turkey, all of our
true crime shows, and can ourTBR list.
Let's get real.
(05:21):
This is about picking andchoosing in that moment for the
you that is able to show up whatserves you best in that space.
It might be disengaging fromreality with Olympic prowess and
devouring two thirds of yourhottest spicy fantasy read.
It might be a catharticwatching of a show like the Pit,
(05:42):
or it might be saying no, thankyou to all the new eye and
doing something quiet and cozyor silent and reflective.
The only way for you to know isfor you to practice the rituals
that you've created to stayself-aware and enrich your
resilience.
Boundaries are sacred.
They're the edges of yourhealing.
(06:04):
You don't owe anyone anything.
You don't owe anybody or anyplace your presence if it costs
you your peace.
So take the break, bow outgracefully, let yourself breathe
and pause.
If you're feeling like you'rethe only one carrying this
weight.
You're not.
We're all carrying pieces, andsetting boundaries is how we
(06:31):
learn to carry less.
Watching shows like the Pitsometimes some of the
documentaries and true crimeshows things like that Sometimes
we watch them in order toprocess emotions that we're
feeling but we're not yet readyto put a voice to, and the shows
(06:51):
run you through that emotionalroller coaster of experiencing
those emotions, so your body'sable to feel them and let them
out.
The problem is we're notactually feeling them and
associating them with whatcaused them in the first place,
with basically the context thatthey survive in and live in.
So we're never reallyaddressing that part.
(07:11):
We just basically did a dry runwith our body and our psyche
and experienced the feeling ofthe emotions, but we didn't
actually process them or addressthem.
Not that I'm saying that that'swrong.
Sometimes we all know you putshows on just because you know
you need a good cry, you need toget out emotional release and
(07:33):
energy, and sometimes you're notready to process those emotions
and so letting some of thesteam off can make them a little
bit smaller so that you canapproach them.
So I'm definitely not sayingit's a bad idea.
What I am saying is if you findthat you are in situations and
(07:55):
engaging with things or peopleor tasks that are pushing you
past that red line, thatcapacity red line, are pushing
you past that red line, thatcapacity red line, more
frequently than you have theability to handle in a healthy
way, setting boundaries withyourself in terms of I'm not
going to allow myself to engagein this right now, even though
(08:19):
impulsivity even though I've gotthe itch to, I'm feeling
impulsive about it compulsivityeven though I've got the itch to
, I'm feeling impulsive about itI'm still going to set that
boundary with myself because Iknow it's not a healthy coping
mechanism, I know it's not goingto actually help me process
what I need to in the long run,and setting those kinds of
boundaries with yourself can bereally, really tough.
(08:41):
So I'm definitely not sayingdon't watch the shows, don't
read the books, avoid the friendgatherings or social scenes.
I'm definitely not saying thatIf the you in that moment that's
showing up needs those thingsor wants to do those things, and
that's a good thing for you.
Absolutely 10 toes down, haveat it, enjoy.
(09:01):
If you are finding that the youin that moment has some
hesitation, that it's making youmore fatigued and you have more
anhedonia or apathy after doingit, you have a loss of pleasure
in doing the things that younormally enjoy doing, or even if
you find that you have kind ofa sense of dread towards it.
(09:22):
Even if you find that you havekind of a sense of dread towards
it, I want you to pay attentionto that voice and if you need
to set a boundary with yourselfto protect your own space, then
do so.
Okay, so deep breath, let'sshake it off, unclench your jaw,
roll your shoulders, take a sipof whatever you're sipping on
(09:45):
this next part.
This next part's a throwback, anursing school flashback, if
you will.
So use our usual musicalmidpoint to pause if you got to
hit the floor or refresh yourdrinks and snacks, and we will
see you.
All right, welcome back.
(11:01):
I am so happy that you're here.
I have some funny stories foryou that way too many of you are
going to relate to.
So I was in simulation with mystudents this week.
Shout out to the futurebadasses of nursing, by the way.
And man does it bring backmemories.
I was lucky enough to gothrough nursing school with my
sister in crime and otherfriends that have become
(11:23):
lifelong friends as well.
Simulation and the rest ofschool who are we kidding?
Had some funny moments, likereally funny moments, amid the I
actually think I might dielevels of stress, and one of
them involves a sim experience.
We were all all four of usstanding in sim.
(11:44):
My sister in crime and I aretwo closest friends and, of
course, you know, on the otherside of the glass, your sim
instructors are watching,they're grading you.
Tensions are high.
You don't even know how toknock on the door correctly and
introduce yourself correctly tothe patient.
It feels like you forget how tostand and you forget what to do
with your arms and legs whenyou're, you know, trying to run
(12:05):
through the simulation and takecare of the patient.
Well, this particular simulationhad to do with, you know, doing
a full head to toe assessmentand inserting a Foley for a
patient.
So that was our sign off forthat day.
That was our simulation and weall had our different roles.
You know how it goes.
You've got the nurse, you havethe assistant to the nurse, you
have the family member and ofcourse, my sister always had the
(12:29):
knack for being the difficultfamily member.
Just funny how that happens.
So, anyways, we're standingthere and my sister, myself, our
other friend have we're kind ofturned like a 45, with the
instructor one way mirror to ourright, and our other friend who
(12:50):
just was going through theprocess of putting the Foley in
and had the side table next toher and her quote, unquote, you
know, chart the paper form andstuff that you have to pretend
to fill out in front of her, andshe had just gone through
inserting Foley.
She goes to document and ofcourse you know you're doing
that, voicing out loud thing.
(13:11):
Okay, now I'm, you know,documenting this and you're kind
of mimicking pseudo roleplaying in your simulation.
Well, she goes to document it.
My sister, without reallymoving very much, kind of leans
in towards her and withoutlooking at her stage, whispers
(13:32):
to her semi-quietly because shecouldn't lean very far forward,
because she didn't want theinstructors to see that she was
leaning forward, and whispers tomy friend you have penis on
your gloves.
Because my friend had forgottento take her gloves off after
inserting the Foley and had justpicked up her pen and was about
to, you know, write all overthe patient's chart.
(13:53):
And so, of course, with thatbeing said, my friend gasps out
loud and kind of throws herhands up in the air and the
three of us, standing sort ofnear the wall like three stooges
, absolutely are laughingthrough our nostrils, trying to
remain stone faced and not getin trouble in simulation and
(14:13):
fail the sim.
And to this day, well, over adecade and a half later, we'll
routinely and randomly send eachother texts that just simply
say you have penis on yourgloves In simulation.
The thing I think that makes melaugh the most is how awkward
and weird it makes literally themost normal of movements, like
(14:39):
how do you forget how to usehand sanitizer from the
dispenser?
Well, I guarantee that ifyou're being tested in
simulation, suddenly you have noidea what to do with your hands
.
It feels like you have too manyfingers and for some reason,
the concept of hand sanitizergetting it from the dispenser
feels like some kind of likeNobel Peace Prize award winning
(15:00):
mechanism that you have to pulloff and it just, it just really
made me laugh.
Of course, I did share thestory with one of my sim groups
today.
They laughed about it and Ithink from their perspective it
was kind of impossible to figureout how that wouldn't be
horrifying and like a near deathexperience for them.
But I assured them that oncethey become nurses and all of
(15:23):
that's in the past that theywill indeed laugh about so many
of the moments that they sharedtogether.
We talk a lot about in nursingschool, about what you'll learn,
but there's a whole othercategory and that is the
category of things you didn'tknow.
That you didn't know until itsmacked you in the face during
your first shift or first yearas a new grad and then you never
(15:48):
, ever forget.
So here's one.
You know, like maybe sayingshit loudly in front of a
patient and your clinicalinstructor when the sub-Q
injection that you were givingor attempting to give just
bounces off of your patient'sabdomen because they're about a
hundred years old and have skinlike taut leather, only for your
clinical instructor to attemptit and break the needle and the
(16:10):
patient says shit and everyonelaughs.
Then the patient tells you yeah, that's why I do them in the
back of my arm, can't get thedamn things in anywhere else.
So you learn to ask patientsabout their own care and listen
to them.
Or maybe when you're a new gradin the ICU trying to hang a bag
of D5 half normal and looksmooth, you know, like the
(16:31):
experienced nurses around you.
So you follow the advice of oneof the nurses and hang it first
, snap the rubber off the portlike a baddie and get covered in
slick fluid before you can evenget the spike in the bag, only
to hear laughter and groaningfrom the hallway.
The more you grab it, the morefluid you gush out because
you're grabbing and squeezingthe bag and you can feel your
(16:52):
shoes filling up at that point.
So did you know that D5 halfnormal is slippery as shit but
dries like Mod Podge 3000?
No, well, you do.
Now You're welcome.
You realize that not everyoneis looking out for you.
Spike the damn thing upsidedown like a normal human and
when it's your turn to precept,don't be a bully.
(17:14):
I like horror games, suspensegames and very rarely jump scare
games.
Getting jump scared, however,by not realizing that if you sit
a very recently deceasedpatient up at a 45 degree angle
and make them look ascomfortable and presentable as
possible for their family to saytheir goodbyes means that you
know, a little over two hourslater, when you put the bed down
(17:37):
, they're still going to besitting up looking at you, and
when they do flop backwards, theair in their chest makes a
horrific sound.
So we're not going to discusshow I absolutely evaporated
right then and there, on thespot.
Bestie, we're just not we'regoing to pretend that didn't
happen.
But this is the joy and thechaos and the black comedy of
(17:58):
being a nurse.
These are some of theexperiences that we share that,
unless you've lived them, eventhe stories don't even really
resonate the same way.
But we live it every damn day.
So now it's your turn.
I want to know what your Ididn't know, I didn't know
(18:21):
moment.
Is that one story you stilllaugh about or maybe cringe a
little?
Can you say D5, half normalwhen you think about it?
I know you have one.
Send it to me.
I want to read it on the pod.
Seriously, just hit the replybutton on the feedback form, dm
me, email me, whatever's easiest.
Come sit with me in this chaos,because I know I am not alone
(18:42):
in this and tell me yours.
All right time for our groundingritual.
It is crystals coffee anddivination time.
So the coffee of the week isaffogato.
If you've never had one, it'sliterally just espresso poured
over ice cream.
Aka heaven on earth.
Fancy rich, anti-vibes, totally.
(19:04):
But we're going to keep itbudget friendly because, yeah,
so simple.
Vanilla ice cream, just plain,no frills vanilla ice cream.
Or here's an even morebudget-friendly tip you know
those super delish, like supercheapy vanilla ice cream
sandwiches with the chocolate.
You know air quotes, cookie topand bottom.
You know the part that sticksto your teeth worse than like
(19:26):
white wonder bread ever could.
Yeah, that epicness.
Take one of those bad boys,break it in half and pour the
hot espresso over it.
Give it a second or two to meltand there you have a super
fancy creamy chocolate vanillaaffogato.
Situation happening Also forother non-dairy options and
stuff.
You can use cold brewconcentrate over non-dairy
(19:47):
vanilla ice cream or frozenwhipped coconut milk.
They even have non-dairywhipped creams now, like in the
can, that actually look likewhipped cream and taste
phenomenal.
And for the extra rich textureyou can do a scoop of frozen
banana, like a couple slices offrozen banana blended with oat
milk and it works perfectly.
It's thick, just like ice cream.
(20:08):
Non-dairy alternative.
You can also do decaf coffee.
So decaf coffee comes in coldbrew.
Or you can brew it hot but useless water for super rich coffee
taste but none of thepalpitations.
So also, no espresso machine,like not that bougie.
Most of us aren't Instantespresso and hot water.
(20:30):
Close enough, babe.
Get it nice and hot.
Get the instant espresso, getit to just the taste and
thickness that you want.
Pour it over.
Whether it's vanilla ice cream,whether it's the ice cream
sandwich, epicness, non-dairy,doesn't matter, it works
perfectly.
So make up one of these badboys this week and thank me
(20:51):
later.
Our crystal draw.
So with our crystal portalOracle deck.
Um, I got amethyst, which islunar insight for this deck, and
that is intuition and calmnessand spiritual insight.
This card reminds us that restis a revelation, that the
answers we seek come not when wechase them, but when we create
(21:14):
quiet.
I actually laughed when Ipulled this card because I was
thinking about the show outlinethat I was just looking at and
it literally is just right onthe nose.
The card is absolutely,absolutely gorgeous.
It's a cluster of amethyst in acrescent moon, with a kind of
(21:38):
like, a depiction of like athird eye or a spiritual center,
like looking down at it.
Our tarot pull Okay, be readyfor this.
Just you know, don't run away.
The tarot pull was the devilcard and for that deck it's
Labradite.
So I know, I know, but this oneis a call in, not a call out.
(22:05):
So the devil in this deck speaksto unhealthy attachments,
burnout cycles and habits thatcould possibly be dimming our
light.
But paired with Labradoriteit's about transformation,
motivation, insight, a chance tolet go of what's consuming you
and step back into your power.
So this could even be somethinglike a negative behavior, a
habit or an addiction that'sconsuming your focus or your
(22:26):
time.
Is that kind of ringing anybells?
How we may or may not do thatavoidance of processing routine
where we watch traumatic showsand go through all the emotional
feels but yet we're notactively productively doing
(22:46):
something for ourselves at themoment?
Maybe, kind of could be.
But having the insight andcoupling that with the
motivation for change andreflection can often happen most
clearly in moments where we arecreating quiet and we are
creating rest for ourselves.
So let that hit while you sipon your affogato that week.
(23:09):
So if you're still with me,thank you.
This episode was a whole journeyBoundary setting, the
amazingness and simultaneousholy shit, batman of the pit,
new grad, chaos and powerfulinsight, and I need your help to
keep this going.
If you loved this episode or itmade you feel seen, please
share it, screenshot it, post it.
(23:30):
Text it to your work bestie.
Even if they're not a nurse ordon't work in healthcare, I
guarantee that what we go overin these episodes will be
helpful to them in a reallyimpactful way and also give them
a really unique perspectiveabout what you do.
Every share helps this podcastreach another nurse who needs to
(23:52):
hear it.
Set your podcast player todownload each new episode.
It's not going to take up muchspace at all.
It'll only keep the newestepisode, but you'll have it
ready to go the morning it dropsand you'll get a reminder that
that goodness is waiting for you.
And I want to hear from you too.
I want to hear your stories,your rituals, your burnout, your
magic.
(24:12):
There's so many ways that youcan reach me.
In the show notes link there'sa feedback form.
It actually sends an anonymoustext right to my phone and it's
amazing.
On the code team website, whichis tcthorg.
You can scan a QR code or youcan email me at hello.
At ritual nursecom, you canslide into DMS on socials at the
(24:33):
code team.
This isn't just my podcast,it's ours.
So take care of yourself,bestie.
Set that boundary, drink thatoff, love your faces and I'll
see you next week.
This is your ritual nurse, riva.
Thanks for tuning in to theRitual Nurse podcast.
You can find us wherever youlisten to podcasts, so don't
(24:57):
forget to subscribe and stayconnected For all our social
links, free education classes,blogs and podcast notes with
resources.
Head over to tcthorg.
Until next time, love yourfaces.
Welcome to the Ritual Nurse, where healing meets
humor, science and a touch ofmagic.
Hey, hi.
Welcome back to the RitualNurse where we mix science,
spirit and a sprinkle of sarcasmto help nurses put themselves
first.
Finally, I'm your host, reva,nurse, educator, ritualista,
(00:34):
trauma survivor and your pockethype woman.
This week, oh, this week, we'regetting real about boundaries,
Not just the I'm not picking upthat extra shift kind, but the
kind that protects your peace.
And yes, we're talking alsoabout the show the Pit.
If you know, you know and ifyou've watched it, yeah, it's
(00:55):
amazing.
Stick around for some wild newgrad who stories a simulation
flashback moment with mystudents.
And of course we'll close withCrystal's Coffee and Divination
moment with my students.
And of course we'll close withCrystal's Coffee and Divination.
This week's coffee it'sAffogato baby Budget edition,
tarot and Crystal insight.
You're not ready for this one,so let's get into it.
All right, so let's talkboundaries.
(01:17):
This is not the kind you setwhen you finally say no to a
weekend shift after working sixin a row, although, yes, please
do that too.
But the boundaries that areinvisible, internal and
sometimes way harder to setbecause you're setting them with
yourself Watching some of thepit cracked something open in me
(01:37):
.
It's one of the most accurateportrayals of the emotional
trauma we experience inhealthcare that I've ever seen.
So accurate, in fact, that I'veever seen.
So accurate, in fact, that Ican't watch the episodes.
I had to sit with that for aminute and listen really closely
to what my inner voice wastrying to tell me.
See, in order for us to dothings like read emotional books
, watch emotional shows, we haveto have a reserve or capacity
(02:02):
of emotion available to feel allthose feelings for things that
aren't actually happening to usin that moment and when we can't
.
That tells us that real lifehas us operating at a beyond
capacity level, emotionally, Imean, given everything going on
from workplace violence to thedaily insanity.
(02:22):
Well, just waking up every dayand seeing anything whatsoever
on any form of media, it's kindof like a given.
So when our jobs also compoundthat tenfold, it gets really
hard to know where to be andwhat we have the capacity to
engage in.
Everything about it, from thelighting, the sounds, the chaos,
(02:45):
the emotions, from frustrationto heartbreak, to elation, to
anger, to camaraderie,hopelessness, humor the show
literally has everything and ithas it all accurately.
I was right back in the ERduring some wild shifts, in the
dark corners of the ICU at 0300,desperately racking my brain
(03:08):
trying to keep my near-deathpatient from coding, and there's
not a soul in sight, crying inthe med room holding the hands
of the dying when no family wereallowed in.
This show doesn't just capturemoments, it captures our moments
and it really kind of sent meon that emotional rollercoaster,
maybe not of things that theshow explicitly pictured like in
(03:33):
that episode, but things thatwere so similar and evoked
emotions, so similar that I wasright back in those fields and
it just sent me on an absoluterollercoaster of a ride, no
matter which episode that Ipicked to try to watch, because
it's like I said, it's not justcapturing moments, it's
capturing and it reminded me whywe need boundaries that aren't
(03:55):
just about time but aboutcapacity.
Saying no to a shift is totallyvalid.
Saying no to things likeconversations, to deeply
emotional engaging shows, toeven reliving trauma that your
brain isn't ready to hold today.
Not only is that kind of stuffvalid, but it's inherently
(04:16):
necessary.
And this is everything from youknow taking a trip, going out
to dinner, doing somethingsocial, anything that's going to
require emotional input andemotional reserve from you.
All of these are valid thingsto say no to in the moment, and
sometimes it is inherentlynecessary.
(04:39):
Today we're bombarded with inputlike everything cranked up to
volume 20 all the time, andlearning to create spaces
intentionally for yourself,habitually for yourself, in
which you touch base and takestock of where you are at that
moment and then settingboundaries on what can stay in
(05:01):
your airspace and what you'regoing to pass is necessary.
The more you do it, the moreyou become aware of what is
healthy and thriving for you andwhat doesn't serve your time in
that moment.
I'm not saying let's go drasticand cold turkey, all of our
true crime shows, and can ourTBR list.
Let's get real.
(05:21):
This is about picking andchoosing in that moment for the
you that is able to show up whatserves you best in that space.
It might be disengaging fromreality with Olympic prowess and
devouring two thirds of yourhottest spicy fantasy read.
It might be a catharticwatching of a show like the Pit,
(05:42):
or it might be saying no, thankyou to all the new eye and
doing something quiet and cozyor silent and reflective.
The only way for you to know isfor you to practice the rituals
that you've created to stayself-aware and enrich your
resilience.
Boundaries are sacred.
They're the edges of yourhealing.
(06:04):
You don't owe anyone anything.
You don't owe anybody or anyplace your presence if it costs
you your peace.
So take the break, bow outgracefully, let yourself breathe
and pause.
If you're feeling like you'rethe only one carrying this
weight.
You're not.
We're all carrying pieces, andsetting boundaries is how we
(06:31):
learn to carry less.
Watching shows like the Pitsometimes some of the
documentaries and true crimeshows things like that Sometimes
we watch them in order toprocess emotions that we're
feeling but we're not yet readyto put a voice to, and the shows
(06:51):
run you through that emotionalroller coaster of experiencing
those emotions, so your body'sable to feel them and let them
out.
The problem is we're notactually feeling them and
associating them with whatcaused them in the first place,
with basically the context thatthey survive in and live in.
So we're never reallyaddressing that part.
(07:11):
We just basically did a dry runwith our body and our psyche
and experienced the feeling ofthe emotions, but we didn't
actually process them or addressthem.
Not that I'm saying that that'swrong.
Sometimes we all know you putshows on just because you know
you need a good cry, you need toget out emotional release and
(07:33):
energy, and sometimes you're notready to process those emotions
and so letting some of thesteam off can make them a little
bit smaller so that you canapproach them.
So I'm definitely not sayingit's a bad idea.
What I am saying is if you findthat you are in situations and
(07:55):
engaging with things or peopleor tasks that are pushing you
past that red line, thatcapacity red line, are pushing
you past that red line, thatcapacity red line, more
frequently than you have theability to handle in a healthy
way, setting boundaries withyourself in terms of I'm not
going to allow myself to engagein this right now, even though
(08:19):
impulsivity even though I've gotthe itch to, I'm feeling
impulsive about it compulsivityeven though I've got the itch to
, I'm feeling impulsive about itI'm still going to set that
boundary with myself because Iknow it's not a healthy coping
mechanism, I know it's not goingto actually help me process
what I need to in the long run,and setting those kinds of
boundaries with yourself can bereally, really tough.
(08:41):
So I'm definitely not sayingdon't watch the shows, don't
read the books, avoid the friendgatherings or social scenes.
I'm definitely not saying thatIf the you in that moment that's
showing up needs those thingsor wants to do those things, and
that's a good thing for you.
Absolutely 10 toes down, haveat it, enjoy.
(09:01):
If you are finding that the youin that moment has some
hesitation, that it's making youmore fatigued and you have more
anhedonia or apathy after doingit, you have a loss of pleasure
in doing the things that younormally enjoy doing, or even if
you find that you have kind ofa sense of dread towards it.
(09:22):
Even if you find that you havekind of a sense of dread towards
it, I want you to pay attentionto that voice and if you need
to set a boundary with yourselfto protect your own space, then
do so.
Okay, so deep breath, let'sshake it off, unclench your jaw,
roll your shoulders, take a sipof whatever you're sipping on
(09:45):
this next part.
This next part's a throwback, anursing school flashback, if
you will.
So use our usual musicalmidpoint to pause if you got to
hit the floor or refresh yourdrinks and snacks, and we will
see you.
All right, welcome back.
(11:01):
I am so happy that you're here.
I have some funny stories foryou that way too many of you are
going to relate to.
So I was in simulation with mystudents this week.
Shout out to the futurebadasses of nursing, by the way.
And man does it bring backmemories.
I was lucky enough to gothrough nursing school with my
sister in crime and otherfriends that have become
(11:23):
lifelong friends as well.
Simulation and the rest ofschool who are we kidding?
Had some funny moments, likereally funny moments, amid the I
actually think I might dielevels of stress, and one of
them involves a sim experience.
We were all all four of usstanding in sim.
(11:44):
My sister in crime and I aretwo closest friends and, of
course, you know, on the otherside of the glass, your sim
instructors are watching,they're grading you.
Tensions are high.
You don't even know how toknock on the door correctly and
introduce yourself correctly tothe patient.
It feels like you forget how tostand and you forget what to do
with your arms and legs whenyou're, you know, trying to run
(12:05):
through the simulation and takecare of the patient.
Well, this particular simulationhad to do with, you know, doing
a full head to toe assessmentand inserting a Foley for a
patient.
So that was our sign off forthat day.
That was our simulation and weall had our different roles.
You know how it goes.
You've got the nurse, you havethe assistant to the nurse, you
have the family member and ofcourse, my sister always had the
(12:29):
knack for being the difficultfamily member.
Just funny how that happens.
So, anyways, we're standingthere and my sister, myself, our
other friend have we're kind ofturned like a 45, with the
instructor one way mirror to ourright, and our other friend who
(12:50):
just was going through theprocess of putting the Foley in
and had the side table next toher and her quote, unquote, you
know, chart the paper form andstuff that you have to pretend
to fill out in front of her, andshe had just gone through
inserting Foley.
She goes to document and ofcourse you know you're doing
that, voicing out loud thing.
(13:11):
Okay, now I'm, you know,documenting this and you're kind
of mimicking pseudo roleplaying in your simulation.
Well, she goes to document it.
My sister, without reallymoving very much, kind of leans
in towards her and withoutlooking at her stage, whispers
(13:32):
to her semi-quietly because shecouldn't lean very far forward,
because she didn't want theinstructors to see that she was
leaning forward, and whispers tomy friend you have penis on
your gloves.
Because my friend had forgottento take her gloves off after
inserting the Foley and had justpicked up her pen and was about
to, you know, write all overthe patient's chart.
(13:53):
And so, of course, with thatbeing said, my friend gasps out
loud and kind of throws herhands up in the air and the
three of us, standing sort ofnear the wall like three stooges
, absolutely are laughingthrough our nostrils, trying to
remain stone faced and not getin trouble in simulation and
(14:13):
fail the sim.
And to this day, well, over adecade and a half later, we'll
routinely and randomly send eachother texts that just simply
say you have penis on yourgloves In simulation.
The thing I think that makes melaugh the most is how awkward
and weird it makes literally themost normal of movements, like
(14:39):
how do you forget how to usehand sanitizer from the
dispenser?
Well, I guarantee that ifyou're being tested in
simulation, suddenly you have noidea what to do with your hands
.
It feels like you have too manyfingers and for some reason,
the concept of hand sanitizergetting it from the dispenser
feels like some kind of likeNobel Peace Prize award winning
(15:00):
mechanism that you have to pulloff and it just, it just really
made me laugh.
Of course, I did share thestory with one of my sim groups
today.
They laughed about it and Ithink from their perspective it
was kind of impossible to figureout how that wouldn't be
horrifying and like a near deathexperience for them.
But I assured them that oncethey become nurses and all of
(15:23):
that's in the past that theywill indeed laugh about so many
of the moments that they sharedtogether.
We talk a lot about in nursingschool, about what you'll learn,
but there's a whole othercategory and that is the
category of things you didn'tknow.
That you didn't know until itsmacked you in the face during
your first shift or first yearas a new grad and then you never
(15:48):
, ever forget.
So here's one.
You know, like maybe sayingshit loudly in front of a
patient and your clinicalinstructor when the sub-Q
injection that you were givingor attempting to give just
bounces off of your patient'sabdomen because they're about a
hundred years old and have skinlike taut leather, only for your
clinical instructor to attemptit and break the needle and the
(16:10):
patient says shit and everyonelaughs.
Then the patient tells you yeah, that's why I do them in the
back of my arm, can't get thedamn things in anywhere else.
So you learn to ask patientsabout their own care and listen
to them.
Or maybe when you're a new gradin the ICU trying to hang a bag
of D5 half normal and looksmooth, you know, like the
(16:31):
experienced nurses around you.
So you follow the advice of oneof the nurses and hang it first
, snap the rubber off the portlike a baddie and get covered in
slick fluid before you can evenget the spike in the bag, only
to hear laughter and groaningfrom the hallway.
The more you grab it, the morefluid you gush out because
you're grabbing and squeezingthe bag and you can feel your
(16:52):
shoes filling up at that point.
So did you know that D5 halfnormal is slippery as shit but
dries like Mod Podge 3000?
No, well, you do.
Now You're welcome.
You realize that not everyoneis looking out for you.
Spike the damn thing upsidedown like a normal human and
when it's your turn to precept,don't be a bully.
(17:14):
I like horror games, suspensegames and very rarely jump scare
games.
Getting jump scared, however,by not realizing that if you sit
a very recently deceasedpatient up at a 45 degree angle
and make them look ascomfortable and presentable as
possible for their family to saytheir goodbyes means that you
know, a little over two hourslater, when you put the bed down
(17:37):
, they're still going to besitting up looking at you, and
when they do flop backwards, theair in their chest makes a
horrific sound.
So we're not going to discusshow I absolutely evaporated
right then and there, on thespot.
Bestie, we're just not we'regoing to pretend that didn't
happen.
But this is the joy and thechaos and the black comedy of
(17:58):
being a nurse.
These are some of theexperiences that we share that,
unless you've lived them, eventhe stories don't even really
resonate the same way.
But we live it every damn day.
So now it's your turn.
I want to know what your Ididn't know, I didn't know
(18:21):
moment.
Is that one story you stilllaugh about or maybe cringe a
little?
Can you say D5, half normalwhen you think about it?
I know you have one.
Send it to me.
I want to read it on the pod.
Seriously, just hit the replybutton on the feedback form, dm
me, email me, whatever's easiest.
Come sit with me in this chaos,because I know I am not alone
(18:42):
in this and tell me yours.
All right time for our groundingritual.
It is crystals coffee anddivination time.
So the coffee of the week isaffogato.
If you've never had one, it'sliterally just espresso poured
over ice cream.
Aka heaven on earth.
Fancy rich, anti-vibes, totally.
(19:04):
But we're going to keep itbudget friendly because, yeah,
so simple.
Vanilla ice cream, just plain,no frills vanilla ice cream.
Or here's an even morebudget-friendly tip you know
those super delish, like supercheapy vanilla ice cream
sandwiches with the chocolate.
You know air quotes, cookie topand bottom.
You know the part that sticksto your teeth worse than like
(19:26):
white wonder bread ever could.
Yeah, that epicness.
Take one of those bad boys,break it in half and pour the
hot espresso over it.
Give it a second or two to meltand there you have a super
fancy creamy chocolate vanillaaffogato.
Situation happening Also forother non-dairy options and
stuff.
You can use cold brewconcentrate over non-dairy
(19:47):
vanilla ice cream or frozenwhipped coconut milk.
They even have non-dairywhipped creams now, like in the
can, that actually look likewhipped cream and taste
phenomenal.
And for the extra rich textureyou can do a scoop of frozen
banana, like a couple slices offrozen banana blended with oat
milk and it works perfectly.
It's thick, just like ice cream.
(20:08):
Non-dairy alternative.
You can also do decaf coffee.
So decaf coffee comes in coldbrew.
Or you can brew it hot but useless water for super rich coffee
taste but none of thepalpitations.
So also, no espresso machine,like not that bougie.
Most of us aren't Instantespresso and hot water.
(20:30):
Close enough, babe.
Get it nice and hot.
Get the instant espresso, getit to just the taste and
thickness that you want.
Pour it over.
Whether it's vanilla ice cream,whether it's the ice cream
sandwich, epicness, non-dairy,doesn't matter, it works
perfectly.
So make up one of these badboys this week and thank me
(20:51):
later.
Our crystal draw.
So with our crystal portalOracle deck.
Um, I got amethyst, which islunar insight for this deck, and
that is intuition and calmnessand spiritual insight.
This card reminds us that restis a revelation, that the
answers we seek come not when wechase them, but when we create
(21:14):
quiet.
I actually laughed when Ipulled this card because I was
thinking about the show outlinethat I was just looking at and
it literally is just right onthe nose.
The card is absolutely,absolutely gorgeous.
It's a cluster of amethyst in acrescent moon, with a kind of
(21:38):
like, a depiction of like athird eye or a spiritual center,
like looking down at it.
Our tarot pull Okay, be readyfor this.
Just you know, don't run away.
The tarot pull was the devilcard and for that deck it's
Labradite.
So I know, I know, but this oneis a call in, not a call out.
(22:05):
So the devil in this deck speaksto unhealthy attachments,
burnout cycles and habits thatcould possibly be dimming our
light.
But paired with Labradoriteit's about transformation,
motivation, insight, a chance tolet go of what's consuming you
and step back into your power.
So this could even be somethinglike a negative behavior, a
habit or an addiction that'sconsuming your focus or your
(22:26):
time.
Is that kind of ringing anybells?
How we may or may not do thatavoidance of processing routine
where we watch traumatic showsand go through all the emotional
feels but yet we're notactively productively doing
(22:46):
something for ourselves at themoment?
Maybe, kind of could be.
But having the insight andcoupling that with the
motivation for change andreflection can often happen most
clearly in moments where we arecreating quiet and we are
creating rest for ourselves.
So let that hit while you sipon your affogato that week.
(23:09):
So if you're still with me,thank you.
This episode was a whole journeyBoundary setting, the
amazingness and simultaneousholy shit, batman of the pit,
new grad, chaos and powerfulinsight, and I need your help to
keep this going.
If you loved this episode or itmade you feel seen, please
share it, screenshot it, post it.
(23:30):
Text it to your work bestie.
Even if they're not a nurse ordon't work in healthcare, I
guarantee that what we go overin these episodes will be
helpful to them in a reallyimpactful way and also give them
a really unique perspectiveabout what you do.
Every share helps this podcastreach another nurse who needs to
(23:52):
hear it.
Set your podcast player todownload each new episode.
It's not going to take up muchspace at all.
It'll only keep the newestepisode, but you'll have it
ready to go the morning it dropsand you'll get a reminder that
that goodness is waiting for you.
And I want to hear from you too.
I want to hear your stories,your rituals, your burnout, your
magic.
(24:12):
There's so many ways that youcan reach me.
In the show notes link there'sa feedback form.
It actually sends an anonymoustext right to my phone and it's
amazing.
On the code team website, whichis tcthorg.
You can scan a QR code or youcan email me at hello.
At ritual nursecom, you canslide into DMS on socials at the
(24:33):
code team.
This isn't just my podcast,it's ours.
So take care of yourself,bestie.
Set that boundary, drink thatoff, love your faces and I'll
see you next week.
This is your ritual nurse, riva.
Thanks for tuning in to theRitual Nurse podcast.
You can find us wherever youlisten to podcasts, so don't
(24:57):
forget to subscribe and stayconnected For all our social
links, free education classes,blogs and podcast notes with
resources.
Head over to tcthorg.
Until next time, love yourfaces.
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