June 12, 2025 • 21 mins
This week is a solo where I talk about dating and relationships and using them as mirrors for your inner work.
In this episode, I talk about:
- Sagittarius Full Moon
- The subconscious
- Relationship as mirrors
- Jupiter in Cancer
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Rochelle Christiane Podcast,
formerly the Emotional MasteryPodcast.
I'm Rochelle, your host.
I'm here to help you come backto your body, take charge of
your emotions and live life onyour terms.
This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what
it means to trust yourself, leaninto your power and create a
life that feels aligned andalive.
(00:24):
We'll explore human design,astrology and other tools to
help you understand your uniqueenergy.
More importantly, though, we'regoing to talk about what it
means to actually live andembody these aspects.
So each week, I'm going toshare stories, lessons, guidance
to help you navigate life'schallenges and really own your
magic.
So if you're ready to step up,take control and show up as the
(00:46):
most authentic version of you,let's begin.
Welcome back to another week,another episode on the podcast.
I'm recording this today on thefull moon in Sagittarius.
I totally messed up the dateson all my social media posts.
I put the 12th, but it is the11th.
When this episode comes out,it's the 12th and the full moon
(01:06):
will happen yesterday, but Ihave been feeling so energized
with this moon and I the lasttwo nights I've not been able to
sleep like at all, and that'snot normal for me.
I'm usually pretty good aboutsleep.
In general.
I actually sleep really, reallygreat.
Actually, yesterday I sleptuntil 1122 in the morning, which
(01:27):
is unheard of.
But I was like tossing andturning all night and then last
night, literally around the fullmoon, I could not sleep.
And then I checked my chart andthe full moon was at 20 degrees
of Sagittarius.
My Uranus is at 21 degrees ofSagittarius and Uranus is shock.
It is the nervous system, it isthe electrical system in the
(01:47):
body.
So it is like makes sense thatI could not sleep.
But yeah, this moon has justfelt really supportive.
And the thing with Sagittarius,specifically when it comes to
like a Sag moon or emotionalexperience with Sagittarius,
because it is ruled by Jupiter,it can be very much like onto
the next type energy, notnecessarily wanting to sit with
the discomfort of what's goingon right, not necessarily
(02:11):
wanting to sit with thediscomfort of the emotional
experience.
So it's kind of optimistic,annoyingly so a little bit in
that way.
And yeah, it's just felt thislittle cycle here has felt very
sad moon.
I got my nose pierced and I wasthinking, was that due to like
the sad moon?
But then I realized mars ismoving over my moon and my
(02:33):
ascendant.
Your ascendant is like howpeople perceive you, how people
see you.
It's your appearances, is yourphysical body.
So this actually makes moresense.
When it comes to mars, on myascendant, and I'm actually not
sure the exact degree that marsis at currently, but that is a
really quick fix.
I can check that out right nowbecause it would make sense if
Mars was literally at no.
Mars is at 26 degrees of Leo,so it's actually not even close
(02:55):
to my ascendant.
I'm at 12 degrees.
But anyway, total side note,jupiter did move into cancer, so
this is starting a new cycle.
If you look back to what it wasdoing, 2013 to 2014, that is
the last cycle that Jupiter wasin cancer.
Jupiter takes about 12 years tocircle the sun, so these are 12
(03:15):
year cycles.
So, if you journal or if youjust remember what was happening
around that time, for me it wasreally interesting because that
was the time I moved to Italy,got divorced and moved back to
the US.
So that was really a lot ofrelational stuff.
And you know, jupiter rulesSagittarius.
Sagittarius, for me, is in thefifth house and it's also the
traditional ruler of Pisces.
Pisces, for me, is in theeighth house, which is sort of
(03:36):
like merging souls, it'ssexuality, things like that, and
I do remember at that time waswhen I first read that like Hold
50 Shades of Grey series, and Iwas like, well, my relationship
is even close to like theintensity of this.
Granted, I was in my 20s andyoung and had no idea about much
and my life has completelychanged since then.
(03:58):
But if you look back to thatcycle and just look where cancer
is in your chart, I have cancerin the 12th house and so this
is things unseen is spirituality.
This is losing myself andothers.
Of course there's an element ofaddiction when it comes to
Pisces, that sort of energy oflosing yourself and others,
because it can be really hard tolike be in this 3d.
And what I noticed a lot oftimes reflecting over the last
(04:19):
few weeks my kids haven't beenhere and I have noticed myself
drinking a little bit more.
My kids haven't been here and Ihave noticed myself drinking a
little bit more just really kindof reflecting a lot on my
emotional experience, which I doa lot clearly because I'm
highly emotional, and I wastalking to a friend about
medication, aboutantidepressants, anxiety
medication, all the things, andI've never taken them before,
(04:40):
but there have been quite a fewpoints in my life where I've
wondered if I should and I'vedone a lot of work around
self-acceptance.
I've done a lot of work aroundwho I am, loving myself,
self-awareness, self-worth, likeall of that stuff.
And I have my moon square Plutoin the 12th house.
So my moon is in Leo, but it'sin the 12th house, in Placidus.
(05:08):
And I have done so much work tolove and to be in awe sometimes
of my emotional experience andthe way that I experience the
world.
It doesn't always feel good,it's not always pleasant, but it
is such a huge part of who I amand my fear, I suppose my
thought process around takingantidepressants of any sort is
would it dull or would it takeaway that part of myself?
And it's this interestingduality where I wonder what it
(05:31):
would be to show up in the worldand feel neutral, not feel
charged emotionally all the time.
And also I just love the waythat I view the world sometimes.
Nothing is ever just what it is, right.
A sunset isn't just a sunset.
A sunset can make me cry.
It could be so beautiful, right?
Even just watching bees on aflower get me in the right mood
(05:52):
and it's the most beautifulthing you've ever seen.
So I do really reallyappreciate that part of my
emotional experience, althoughit can be incredibly challenging
, incredibly challenging.
But since it is the Sag moon, Ikind of wanted to talk a little
bit about dating relationships.
So last week on the podcast Ihad Krista Williams, so we
talked about dating in our 30sand kind of what it was like,
(06:14):
what the experience is like, and, yeah, I wanted to sort of
elaborate on that a little bitas far as what I've learned over
the last nearly eight years ofbeing single and dating.
And of course there have beenmoments where I'm kind of over
it, like I just want to find myperson.
And also I think that you know,sometimes some of us have
(06:35):
longer journeys than others,whether it's in business,
whether it's in relationship,whether it's whatever, sometimes
we just have a longer process,we have a longer journey and
when I look back to all thesignificant people and the way
that I've reacted and respondedand things that I've moved
through and the work that I'vedone on myself, every single
person has taught me somethingnew about myself.
(06:55):
It's been a reflection to whereI'm at in my life and this is
not to say like you can't do itin a committed relationship,
because of course you can.
We're always evolving, we'realways growing Like.
To think that you would get in arelationship with someone and
that be the person that youexperience for however long
you're in that relationship iscrazy, because we're always
changing.
Just think about, you know,human design.
Like every single cell in ourbody changes every seven years.
(07:18):
So you're literally have thepotential to be a completely new
human being seven years later.
And I did an interview with KenClose years ago on the podcast
and he was saying every singlesecond, there's something like
that hundreds of thousands ofnew cells in your body that are
waiting to be written.
And we know that 97% of ourbeing right is subconscious, is
(07:43):
unconscious, and so 97% of thosecells are waiting to be written
.
That's huge.
So if you're doing the work, ifyou're actively doing the work
and if you're actively meetingyourself in these places, you
have the potential to be aradically different person.
I mean tomorrow, in fiveminutes, right, like?
I do believe that it can happenthat quickly.
And I do believe that it canhappen that quickly and I do
believe that sometimes it takesa lot of work, because the
(08:04):
subconscious beliefs that wehave can be sneaky, can be
really hidden from us, and soit's again, it's just a matter
of being with it and meeting itand meeting yourself.
Where you're at I with Jupitermoving into Cancer.
What I keep thinking is, for me,cancer is in my 12th house and
this is all things hidden.
This is, this is thesubconscious, it's.
(08:25):
Also, when we talk about the12th house, we talk about like
hidden enemies, and I can'tremember what.
What the author is the 12houses.
I think it's Stephen.
No, I could be wrong about that, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna quote who theauthor is.
I apologize, I don't remember,but the book the Twelve Houses.
He talks about the 12th houseand this idea of like hidden
enemies, and it's more so likethe enemies inside of ourselves,
(08:48):
like our own inner hiddenenemies, and so we know Cancer
rules the fourth house.
It's about family, it's aboutnurturing.
So this is sort of this doublepotential.
My words are not coming to me,but Jupiter is giving us the
opportunity.
Of course, jupiter is expansion, it's luck, right, it's
abundance, it's all these likeoptimism, all these sort of
(09:08):
things, and so Jupiter is givingus the opportunity not only to
nurture those around us who wesee in our inner circle, our
family and things like that, butit's also to like dive in and
do that inner work, the innerparent, the reparenting inner
child work, ancestral work, allthat really kind of deep work.
It's a water house, right.
So of course there's an elementof that for me personally.
(09:29):
I have this in my 12th house,and so this is really not only
doing that work but then addingin.
So, of course, check in yourchart where cancer is, and that
house will have a huge impact onthe work that you are able to
do during this time, like thatextra nuance of like how you
might experience it.
So the 12th house for me, likeagain things that I can't
necessarily see every singlecancer season just feels a
little like disconnected for me,right, because it's like I
(09:50):
can't always see it.
We don't always see the 12thhouse energy until it's out of
the 12th house.
So, like with Saturn, we mightbe able to see the lessons of
Saturn now, more so that it's inAries than when it was in
Pisces, right.
So the lessons of Saturn inPisces we might be experiencing
more now that it's out than whenit was in it and so checking
(10:11):
where all of that is in yourchart.
But yeah, I think that when wecan approach dating
relationships in a way of itbeing a mirror and, of course,
having regulation techniques,always because it can be really
challenging, it can be reallyconfronting, it can be really
uncomfortable, it can be reallyscary, it can be really
(10:33):
vulnerable, like all of thethings that we don't always want
to be experiencing and to be in.
But I think if you have anability to sort of zoom out and
see it for what it is and seethe potential of how it can
change you and shift you.
Like there's one person who I'vecycled that's a terrible term
cycled but who I had a really,really hard time getting over
(10:55):
and I think it was just more so.
The energy of the like, what if?
Like it was very much what's'sthe word?
There wasn't like closure,there was kind of like, always
that question of like.
I don't think that we gave it afair shot, all those things,
but when I look back at thatI'll say relationship.
I always felt rejected in asense, and so I can appreciate
(11:18):
that so much because it taughtme to like, love myself and to
give myself what I needed,because that person was not
going to meet me where I was at,they were not going to be able
to fill those things in me, so Ireally had to give them to
myself.
Like there would be nightswhere I and it really helped me
get over my people pleasingbecause I have that has been a
big lesson for me in my life isthe people pleasing.
(11:40):
But there were weekends where Iwas like hoping to be asked to
do something, so I would likeclear the evening in the hopes
that it would be filled.
And then when obviously thedisappointment came in because I
wasn't asked to do anything, Iwould just be like, what do I
need in this moment?
Like why do I want to go outwith this person?
Maybe it's to get out of thehouse, to just like whatever,
(12:08):
and I would do that for myself.
So it really really reallytaught me radical self-love.
It showed me if I don't lovemyself, like I am the one who
will show people how to care forme, and if I don't know how to
do that for myself, how cananybody step up and do that?
And there are still lessonsthat I'm learning.
I'm realizing how dismissive Ican be in relationships and so
if you know of attachment styles, there have been, I think, a
couple episodes on the podcastaround attachment style, sarah
Cohen.
You can just Google attachmentstyle and or not Google.
(12:30):
You can type it into the searchbar in the podcast and you'll
see which episodes.
But Sarah Cohen was on aboutattachment styles and I am
fearful avoidant attachmentstyle.
But I noticed I lean way moretowards dismissive, avoidant,
because even like in a recentsituation, I realized how much I
sort of leave things forwhoever I'm dating or interested
(12:53):
in to show up rather than meshowing up.
There's a part of it where it'slike I want to be my feminine, I
want to be cared for, I want tobe desired Like, I love feeling
like that, and where it's likeI want to be my feminine, I want
to be cared for, I want to bedesired Like I love feeling like
that.
And also it's always a mirror.
I'm reading the Dark Side ofLight Chasers and that's what
she says.
It's like anything thattriggers you in someone else.
You have to look at yourselfand if you don't have those
(13:14):
qualities, do you have thepotential to have those
qualities?
We're not triggered by thingsunless we hold them in ourselves
.
And so when I get upset thatmaybe somebody isn't texting me,
then I have to ask, like, am Itexting that?
Maybe they want me to text themand I'm playing like hard to
get, or I'm putting more on themto energetically show up, and
(13:34):
I'm just like sitting back andbeing like, well, fine, whatever
.
So it is like just noticing andthat's, I think, the fun thing
about it, even though it'sreally challenging sometimes.
The fun thing about it is thatevery person is reflecting a
part of you back and it givesyou the opportunity to do the
work around it.
And so if you're a single, evenif you're in a relationship,
(13:57):
just notice those things right.
Take some time to journalaround.
This is a practice that I didfor a while and I still do.
Now it's more so like braindumping, but really notice when
in your day you're triggered bysomething right and just really
take the time.
Be intentional about sittingand reflecting on that at night.
Like what came up for me?
How did it make me feel?
Where in my body did I feel it?
(14:18):
What does it look like?
Like, get as detailed as youcan about the thing that the,
the, the energy inside of you,do something to move it, whether
it's just take a few deepbreaths, like just be with it.
And yeah, you know, the bodykeeps the score.
We've all heard of the book Mostof us have, at least and it's
so true and, as I was, this islike a silly example, but it was
(14:40):
really.
For me, little examples arealways big, big lessons, I think
they're they like reinforce biglessons.
But when I was going to get mynose pierced so I've had
multiple piercings in my lifeI've had, I mean, I have tattoos
, I've had kids, like the wholething, like I have a pretty high
pain tolerance and I know this,I know this, but for some
reason, so I, when I moved toDubai, I was about seven years
(15:03):
old, eight years old, and we hadto go and get like over 10
shots and I remember like thedoctors had to hold me down, I
was screaming, I was crying.
It was a whole big ordeal.
And ever since then I've beenterrified of needles.
Yes, tattoos are needles, butthere are many of them.
They're small and they vibrateand you can't see them, and so
that's just a whole differentthing.
It's the long, the long needlesthat really really get me, like
(15:26):
every time I get my blood drawn, I get anxious, it's a whole
thing and it doesn't even hurtthat bad Right.
But when I went to get this nosepiercing yesterday, I was a
little bit anxious.
So I was like maybe it's mybody telling me, no, but I've
been sitting on, I've beenwanting to do this for years and
I haven't rushed it.
So I was like okay, the factthat it keeps coming up with me
and my emotional authority, it'sa yes.
So I was like okay, so I wentand I'm I filled out the
(15:48):
paperwork.
I'm still like kind of anxious,sweating a little bit.
I paid for it and in my headI'm just like wait, like I know
there's no refunds.
It says clearly in the paper norefunds.
And I'm like okay, I'll just,I'll just bite it, it's fine,
it's whatever, give it a goodshot, whatever.
And I'm sitting there and I'mlike just sit it.
So it's like it's always likethe next best or the like what
(16:14):
is the next nose?
And I'm like freaking out.
And she's like you have liketwo full sleeves.
Why are you like so anxious?
And I was like I don't know,it's good, like my mind had me
convinced that this was going tobe the worst pain of my life,
even though everyone I've talkedto is like, no, no, it doesn't
even hurt at all.
I was convinced this was goingto be excruciating, and so it
(16:35):
comes, comes time she's like,okay, lay down.
And I lay down and I'm like youknow what?
I think I'm gonna check it out,I don't think I'm gonna do this
, and my friend's like Rochelle,it's gonna be fine, I promise.
I'm like no, no, no, I don't, Idon't think I can do this.
Literally acting like a child,like I was a little bit
embarrassed afterwards for howanxious I was.
And so I'm sitting there likegripping onto my friend, and she
(16:55):
does it, and I was like itliterally felt like the tiniest
pinch.
I was like that's it.
And she's like, yeah, so, butyou know that fear that my body
held from that experience of theneedles, like I blew it up,
like my mind and my body got onboard to create this experience
where I literally my mind like Idon't know I guess I thought I
(17:15):
was going to die from thisneedle going through my nose and
I had to like I had to breatheand I had to like look around
and be like how many people inthe world have their nose
pierced.
If it was that bad, peoplewould not do it Right.
And so I had to like, just like.
Come back to myself and justlike, okay, just do it, just do
it.
One, two, three go Right.
And so I finally told the woman, because she was like I'm not
gonna do anything till you tellme.
I was like, just do it, just doit.
(17:36):
But it is that like, whether theexample is getting your nose
pierced or whether the exampleis showing up to do something
new or getting a new job orhaving a hard conversation,
whatever it is that we hold,like our body will.
Literally, our body holds thescore, our body keeps the score,
our body remembers thesememories, even if we don't, and
so it's.
(17:57):
You know, we have all of theseemotional experiences and then
when we're triggered bysomething, it activates these
emotional experiences.
This is why nervous systemregulation is so, so important,
because the root of everythingis in the body.
Like the mind catches up realquick.
The mind will attach to thatand then it'll loop on these
narratives of whatever washappening for us during that
time.
So it's like finding a way toregulate your nervous system,
(18:19):
finding a way to like, and Iknow it's easier said than done
Like I want to say, clear outyour mind, which is not possible
, but kind of just to callbullshit and to know that
whatever narrative you havelooping in your mind is not true
.
And I tell my daughter this allthe time.
She's dealing with a lot ofanxiety and I try and tell her,
like, the things that your mindis telling you are not accurate,
they're not real, right, like,yes, it's not to invalidate your
(18:43):
experience, because yourexperience is very real.
The emotional, mentalexperience that you're having in
this moment is very real, isreal, right, but the narrative,
the story that you're tellingyourself is not real.
And so the nervous systemregulation piece is so important
.
Can you come in your body andjust be with the physical
sensations?
(19:03):
Because that's how they are,it's just physical sensations in
your body.
Now, if you're in a situation,obviously, where you're not safe
, then that's a whole otherthing, right, but we get so
stressed and we get so anxiousand it's our mind thinks that
we're not safe anymore.
But it's like yesterday,sitting in that the piercing
place, like I'm completely safe,nobody's chasing me, nobody's
(19:25):
coming after me, I had food inmy belly, I have a roof over my
head, like I'm physically safe,and so that's when you know like
right, this is like a loopingnarrative, this is a trauma
response.
This is something that happenedbefore that is creeping up in
sneaky ways now that wants tosabotage.
So really getting into yourbody and understanding what your
(19:48):
body is telling you.
So I have a new program comingout.
It's all about the emotionalexperience.
It's going to be a six weekcontainer where we're going to
go through the experience.
It's going to be a six-weekcontainer where we're going to
go through the wave.
We're going to go through thesolar plexus.
We're going to go through whatan actual emotional experience
is, right Tools to self-regulate.
We're going to go through thebody, the PHS system in human
(20:09):
design, about the body, justlike coming into your body and
really getting familiar with thesensations and rewriting those
narratives that come up and likereally supporting you in moving
through that, because I thinkit is game changing when you
actually can be in that spaceand support yourself and do that
work.
And so this program is startingJuly 8th.
(20:29):
I will leave the link in theshow notes if you want to join
us.
I also made the first module ofholistic human design academy.
So it's human design, astrologybasics, transit, how to track
the transits.
That's all in one little minicourse.
I guess that you can purchaseseparate from holistic human
design if you don't want to dothe whole program Self-paced on
(20:50):
your own.
That is now available.
I will also leave that in theshow notes and, of course,
one-on-one sessions are alwaysavailable.
Follow me on Instagram andTikTok at Rochelle Christian.
That's R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E, dotC-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N-E, and website
is RochelleChristiancom.
You can see all the offers onthere.
And YouTube Podcast is onYouTube.
(21:12):
So if you'd like to watch it,you can head over to YouTube.
And, yeah, come visit me onsocial media.
If you're not there, follow meand I will talk to you next week
.
I hope this episode wassupportive and I'm so grateful
for listening.
Whether it's your first time,whether you've listened to it,
you know 100 episodes, 10episodes, whatever.
I'm just so grateful thatyou're here.
Welcome to the Rochelle Christiane Podcast,
formerly the Emotional MasteryPodcast.
I'm Rochelle, your host.
I'm here to help you come backto your body, take charge of
your emotions and live life onyour terms.
This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what
it means to trust yourself, leaninto your power and create a
life that feels aligned andalive.
(00:24):
We'll explore human design,astrology and other tools to
help you understand your uniqueenergy.
More importantly, though, we'regoing to talk about what it
means to actually live andembody these aspects.
So each week, I'm going toshare stories, lessons, guidance
to help you navigate life'schallenges and really own your
magic.
So if you're ready to step up,take control and show up as the
(00:46):
most authentic version of you,let's begin.
Welcome back to another week,another episode on the podcast.
I'm recording this today on thefull moon in Sagittarius.
I totally messed up the dateson all my social media posts.
I put the 12th, but it is the11th.
When this episode comes out,it's the 12th and the full moon
(01:06):
will happen yesterday, but Ihave been feeling so energized
with this moon and I the lasttwo nights I've not been able to
sleep like at all, and that'snot normal for me.
I'm usually pretty good aboutsleep.
In general.
I actually sleep really, reallygreat.
Actually, yesterday I sleptuntil 1122 in the morning, which
(01:27):
is unheard of.
But I was like tossing andturning all night and then last
night, literally around the fullmoon, I could not sleep.
And then I checked my chart andthe full moon was at 20 degrees
of Sagittarius.
My Uranus is at 21 degrees ofSagittarius and Uranus is shock.
It is the nervous system, it isthe electrical system in the
(01:47):
body.
So it is like makes sense thatI could not sleep.
But yeah, this moon has justfelt really supportive.
And the thing with Sagittarius,specifically when it comes to
like a Sag moon or emotionalexperience with Sagittarius,
because it is ruled by Jupiter,it can be very much like onto
the next type energy, notnecessarily wanting to sit with
the discomfort of what's goingon right, not necessarily
(02:11):
wanting to sit with thediscomfort of the emotional
experience.
So it's kind of optimistic,annoyingly so a little bit in
that way.
And yeah, it's just felt thislittle cycle here has felt very
sad moon.
I got my nose pierced and I wasthinking, was that due to like
the sad moon?
But then I realized mars ismoving over my moon and my
(02:33):
ascendant.
Your ascendant is like howpeople perceive you, how people
see you.
It's your appearances, is yourphysical body.
So this actually makes moresense.
When it comes to mars, on myascendant, and I'm actually not
sure the exact degree that marsis at currently, but that is a
really quick fix.
I can check that out right nowbecause it would make sense if
Mars was literally at no.
Mars is at 26 degrees of Leo,so it's actually not even close
(02:55):
to my ascendant.
I'm at 12 degrees.
But anyway, total side note,jupiter did move into cancer, so
this is starting a new cycle.
If you look back to what it wasdoing, 2013 to 2014, that is
the last cycle that Jupiter wasin cancer.
Jupiter takes about 12 years tocircle the sun, so these are 12
(03:15):
year cycles.
So, if you journal or if youjust remember what was happening
around that time, for me it wasreally interesting because that
was the time I moved to Italy,got divorced and moved back to
the US.
So that was really a lot ofrelational stuff.
And you know, jupiter rulesSagittarius.
Sagittarius, for me, is in thefifth house and it's also the
traditional ruler of Pisces.
Pisces, for me, is in theeighth house, which is sort of
(03:36):
like merging souls, it'ssexuality, things like that, and
I do remember at that time waswhen I first read that like Hold
50 Shades of Grey series, and Iwas like, well, my relationship
is even close to like theintensity of this.
Granted, I was in my 20s andyoung and had no idea about much
and my life has completelychanged since then.
(03:58):
But if you look back to thatcycle and just look where cancer
is in your chart, I have cancerin the 12th house and so this
is things unseen is spirituality.
This is losing myself andothers.
Of course there's an element ofaddiction when it comes to
Pisces, that sort of energy oflosing yourself and others,
because it can be really hard tolike be in this 3d.
And what I noticed a lot oftimes reflecting over the last
(04:19):
few weeks my kids haven't beenhere and I have noticed myself
drinking a little bit more.
My kids haven't been here and Ihave noticed myself drinking a
little bit more just really kindof reflecting a lot on my
emotional experience, which I doa lot clearly because I'm
highly emotional, and I wastalking to a friend about
medication, aboutantidepressants, anxiety
medication, all the things, andI've never taken them before,
(04:40):
but there have been quite a fewpoints in my life where I've
wondered if I should and I'vedone a lot of work around
self-acceptance.
I've done a lot of work aroundwho I am, loving myself,
self-awareness, self-worth, likeall of that stuff.
And I have my moon square Plutoin the 12th house.
So my moon is in Leo, but it'sin the 12th house, in Placidus.
(05:08):
And I have done so much work tolove and to be in awe sometimes
of my emotional experience andthe way that I experience the
world.
It doesn't always feel good,it's not always pleasant, but it
is such a huge part of who I amand my fear, I suppose my
thought process around takingantidepressants of any sort is
would it dull or would it takeaway that part of myself?
And it's this interestingduality where I wonder what it
(05:31):
would be to show up in the worldand feel neutral, not feel
charged emotionally all the time.
And also I just love the waythat I view the world sometimes.
Nothing is ever just what it is, right.
A sunset isn't just a sunset.
A sunset can make me cry.
It could be so beautiful, right?
Even just watching bees on aflower get me in the right mood
(05:52):
and it's the most beautifulthing you've ever seen.
So I do really reallyappreciate that part of my
emotional experience, althoughit can be incredibly challenging
, incredibly challenging.
But since it is the Sag moon, Ikind of wanted to talk a little
bit about dating relationships.
So last week on the podcast Ihad Krista Williams, so we
talked about dating in our 30sand kind of what it was like,
(06:14):
what the experience is like, and, yeah, I wanted to sort of
elaborate on that a little bitas far as what I've learned over
the last nearly eight years ofbeing single and dating.
And of course there have beenmoments where I'm kind of over
it, like I just want to find myperson.
And also I think that you know,sometimes some of us have
(06:35):
longer journeys than others,whether it's in business,
whether it's in relationship,whether it's whatever, sometimes
we just have a longer process,we have a longer journey and
when I look back to all thesignificant people and the way
that I've reacted and respondedand things that I've moved
through and the work that I'vedone on myself, every single
person has taught me somethingnew about myself.
(06:55):
It's been a reflection to whereI'm at in my life and this is
not to say like you can't do itin a committed relationship,
because of course you can.
We're always evolving, we'realways growing Like.
To think that you would get in arelationship with someone and
that be the person that youexperience for however long
you're in that relationship iscrazy, because we're always
changing.
Just think about, you know,human design.
Like every single cell in ourbody changes every seven years.
(07:18):
So you're literally have thepotential to be a completely new
human being seven years later.
And I did an interview with KenClose years ago on the podcast
and he was saying every singlesecond, there's something like
that hundreds of thousands ofnew cells in your body that are
waiting to be written.
And we know that 97% of ourbeing right is subconscious, is
(07:43):
unconscious, and so 97% of thosecells are waiting to be written
.
That's huge.
So if you're doing the work, ifyou're actively doing the work
and if you're actively meetingyourself in these places, you
have the potential to be aradically different person.
I mean tomorrow, in fiveminutes, right, like?
I do believe that it can happenthat quickly.
And I do believe that it canhappen that quickly and I do
believe that sometimes it takesa lot of work, because the
(08:04):
subconscious beliefs that wehave can be sneaky, can be
really hidden from us, and soit's again, it's just a matter
of being with it and meeting itand meeting yourself.
Where you're at I with Jupitermoving into Cancer.
What I keep thinking is, for me,cancer is in my 12th house and
this is all things hidden.
This is, this is thesubconscious, it's.
(08:25):
Also, when we talk about the12th house, we talk about like
hidden enemies, and I can'tremember what.
What the author is the 12houses.
I think it's Stephen.
No, I could be wrong about that, I'm not gonna.
I'm not gonna quote who theauthor is.
I apologize, I don't remember,but the book the Twelve Houses.
He talks about the 12th houseand this idea of like hidden
enemies, and it's more so likethe enemies inside of ourselves,
(08:48):
like our own inner hiddenenemies, and so we know Cancer
rules the fourth house.
It's about family, it's aboutnurturing.
So this is sort of this doublepotential.
My words are not coming to me,but Jupiter is giving us the
opportunity.
Of course, jupiter is expansion, it's luck, right, it's
abundance, it's all these likeoptimism, all these sort of
(09:08):
things, and so Jupiter is givingus the opportunity not only to
nurture those around us who wesee in our inner circle, our
family and things like that, butit's also to like dive in and
do that inner work, the innerparent, the reparenting inner
child work, ancestral work, allthat really kind of deep work.
It's a water house, right.
So of course there's an elementof that for me personally.
(09:29):
I have this in my 12th house,and so this is really not only
doing that work but then addingin.
So, of course, check in yourchart where cancer is, and that
house will have a huge impact onthe work that you are able to
do during this time, like thatextra nuance of like how you
might experience it.
So the 12th house for me, likeagain things that I can't
necessarily see every singlecancer season just feels a
little like disconnected for me,right, because it's like I
(09:50):
can't always see it.
We don't always see the 12thhouse energy until it's out of
the 12th house.
So, like with Saturn, we mightbe able to see the lessons of
Saturn now, more so that it's inAries than when it was in
Pisces, right.
So the lessons of Saturn inPisces we might be experiencing
more now that it's out than whenit was in it and so checking
(10:11):
where all of that is in yourchart.
But yeah, I think that when wecan approach dating
relationships in a way of itbeing a mirror and, of course,
having regulation techniques,always because it can be really
challenging, it can be reallyconfronting, it can be really
uncomfortable, it can be reallyscary, it can be really
(10:33):
vulnerable, like all of thethings that we don't always want
to be experiencing and to be in.
But I think if you have anability to sort of zoom out and
see it for what it is and seethe potential of how it can
change you and shift you.
Like there's one person who I'vecycled that's a terrible term
cycled but who I had a really,really hard time getting over
(10:55):
and I think it was just more so.
The energy of the like, what if?
Like it was very much what's'sthe word?
There wasn't like closure,there was kind of like, always
that question of like.
I don't think that we gave it afair shot, all those things,
but when I look back at thatI'll say relationship.
I always felt rejected in asense, and so I can appreciate
(11:18):
that so much because it taughtme to like, love myself and to
give myself what I needed,because that person was not
going to meet me where I was at,they were not going to be able
to fill those things in me, so Ireally had to give them to
myself.
Like there would be nightswhere I and it really helped me
get over my people pleasingbecause I have that has been a
big lesson for me in my life isthe people pleasing.
(11:40):
But there were weekends where Iwas like hoping to be asked to
do something, so I would likeclear the evening in the hopes
that it would be filled.
And then when obviously thedisappointment came in because I
wasn't asked to do anything, Iwould just be like, what do I
need in this moment?
Like why do I want to go outwith this person?
Maybe it's to get out of thehouse, to just like whatever,
(12:08):
and I would do that for myself.
So it really really reallytaught me radical self-love.
It showed me if I don't lovemyself, like I am the one who
will show people how to care forme, and if I don't know how to
do that for myself, how cananybody step up and do that?
And there are still lessonsthat I'm learning.
I'm realizing how dismissive Ican be in relationships and so
if you know of attachment styles, there have been, I think, a
couple episodes on the podcastaround attachment style, sarah
Cohen.
You can just Google attachmentstyle and or not Google.
(12:30):
You can type it into the searchbar in the podcast and you'll
see which episodes.
But Sarah Cohen was on aboutattachment styles and I am
fearful avoidant attachmentstyle.
But I noticed I lean way moretowards dismissive, avoidant,
because even like in a recentsituation, I realized how much I
sort of leave things forwhoever I'm dating or interested
(12:53):
in to show up rather than meshowing up.
There's a part of it where it'slike I want to be my feminine, I
want to be cared for, I want tobe desired Like, I love feeling
like that, and where it's likeI want to be my feminine, I want
to be cared for, I want to bedesired Like I love feeling like
that.
And also it's always a mirror.
I'm reading the Dark Side ofLight Chasers and that's what
she says.
It's like anything thattriggers you in someone else.
You have to look at yourselfand if you don't have those
(13:14):
qualities, do you have thepotential to have those
qualities?
We're not triggered by thingsunless we hold them in ourselves
.
And so when I get upset thatmaybe somebody isn't texting me,
then I have to ask, like, am Itexting that?
Maybe they want me to text themand I'm playing like hard to
get, or I'm putting more on themto energetically show up, and
(13:34):
I'm just like sitting back andbeing like, well, fine, whatever
.
So it is like just noticing andthat's, I think, the fun thing
about it, even though it'sreally challenging sometimes.
The fun thing about it is thatevery person is reflecting a
part of you back and it givesyou the opportunity to do the
work around it.
And so if you're a single, evenif you're in a relationship,
(13:57):
just notice those things right.
Take some time to journalaround.
This is a practice that I didfor a while and I still do.
Now it's more so like braindumping, but really notice when
in your day you're triggered bysomething right and just really
take the time.
Be intentional about sittingand reflecting on that at night.
Like what came up for me?
How did it make me feel?
Where in my body did I feel it?
(14:18):
What does it look like?
Like, get as detailed as youcan about the thing that the,
the, the energy inside of you,do something to move it, whether
it's just take a few deepbreaths, like just be with it.
And yeah, you know, the bodykeeps the score.
We've all heard of the book Mostof us have, at least and it's
so true and, as I was, this islike a silly example, but it was
(14:40):
really.
For me, little examples arealways big, big lessons, I think
they're they like reinforce biglessons.
But when I was going to get mynose pierced so I've had
multiple piercings in my lifeI've had, I mean, I have tattoos
, I've had kids, like the wholething, like I have a pretty high
pain tolerance and I know this,I know this, but for some
reason, so I, when I moved toDubai, I was about seven years
(15:03):
old, eight years old, and we hadto go and get like over 10
shots and I remember like thedoctors had to hold me down, I
was screaming, I was crying.
It was a whole big ordeal.
And ever since then I've beenterrified of needles.
Yes, tattoos are needles, butthere are many of them.
They're small and they vibrateand you can't see them, and so
that's just a whole differentthing.
It's the long, the long needlesthat really really get me, like
(15:26):
every time I get my blood drawn, I get anxious, it's a whole
thing and it doesn't even hurtthat bad Right.
But when I went to get this nosepiercing yesterday, I was a
little bit anxious.
So I was like maybe it's mybody telling me, no, but I've
been sitting on, I've beenwanting to do this for years and
I haven't rushed it.
So I was like okay, the factthat it keeps coming up with me
and my emotional authority, it'sa yes.
So I was like okay, so I wentand I'm I filled out the
(15:48):
paperwork.
I'm still like kind of anxious,sweating a little bit.
I paid for it and in my headI'm just like wait, like I know
there's no refunds.
It says clearly in the paper norefunds.
And I'm like okay, I'll just,I'll just bite it, it's fine,
it's whatever, give it a goodshot, whatever.
And I'm sitting there and I'mlike just sit it.
So it's like it's always likethe next best or the like what
(16:14):
is the next nose?
And I'm like freaking out.
And she's like you have liketwo full sleeves.
Why are you like so anxious?
And I was like I don't know,it's good, like my mind had me
convinced that this was going tobe the worst pain of my life,
even though everyone I've talkedto is like, no, no, it doesn't
even hurt at all.
I was convinced this was goingto be excruciating, and so it
(16:35):
comes, comes time she's like,okay, lay down.
And I lay down and I'm like youknow what?
I think I'm gonna check it out,I don't think I'm gonna do this
, and my friend's like Rochelle,it's gonna be fine, I promise.
I'm like no, no, no, I don't, Idon't think I can do this.
Literally acting like a child,like I was a little bit
embarrassed afterwards for howanxious I was.
And so I'm sitting there likegripping onto my friend, and she
(16:55):
does it, and I was like itliterally felt like the tiniest
pinch.
I was like that's it.
And she's like, yeah, so, butyou know that fear that my body
held from that experience of theneedles, like I blew it up,
like my mind and my body got onboard to create this experience
where I literally my mind like Idon't know I guess I thought I
(17:15):
was going to die from thisneedle going through my nose and
I had to like I had to breatheand I had to like look around
and be like how many people inthe world have their nose
pierced.
If it was that bad, peoplewould not do it Right.
And so I had to like, just like.
Come back to myself and justlike, okay, just do it, just do
it.
One, two, three go Right.
And so I finally told the woman, because she was like I'm not
gonna do anything till you tellme.
I was like, just do it, just doit.
(17:36):
But it is that like, whether theexample is getting your nose
pierced or whether the exampleis showing up to do something
new or getting a new job orhaving a hard conversation,
whatever it is that we hold,like our body will.
Literally, our body holds thescore, our body keeps the score,
our body remembers thesememories, even if we don't, and
so it's.
(17:57):
You know, we have all of theseemotional experiences and then
when we're triggered bysomething, it activates these
emotional experiences.
This is why nervous systemregulation is so, so important,
because the root of everythingis in the body.
Like the mind catches up realquick.
The mind will attach to thatand then it'll loop on these
narratives of whatever washappening for us during that
time.
So it's like finding a way toregulate your nervous system,
(18:19):
finding a way to like, and Iknow it's easier said than done
Like I want to say, clear outyour mind, which is not possible
, but kind of just to callbullshit and to know that
whatever narrative you havelooping in your mind is not true
.
And I tell my daughter this allthe time.
She's dealing with a lot ofanxiety and I try and tell her,
like, the things that your mindis telling you are not accurate,
they're not real, right, like,yes, it's not to invalidate your
(18:43):
experience, because yourexperience is very real.
The emotional, mentalexperience that you're having in
this moment is very real, isreal, right, but the narrative,
the story that you're tellingyourself is not real.
And so the nervous systemregulation piece is so important
.
Can you come in your body andjust be with the physical
sensations?
(19:03):
Because that's how they are,it's just physical sensations in
your body.
Now, if you're in a situation,obviously, where you're not safe
, then that's a whole otherthing, right, but we get so
stressed and we get so anxiousand it's our mind thinks that
we're not safe anymore.
But it's like yesterday,sitting in that the piercing
place, like I'm completely safe,nobody's chasing me, nobody's
(19:25):
coming after me, I had food inmy belly, I have a roof over my
head, like I'm physically safe,and so that's when you know like
right, this is like a loopingnarrative, this is a trauma
response.
This is something that happenedbefore that is creeping up in
sneaky ways now that wants tosabotage.
So really getting into yourbody and understanding what your
(19:48):
body is telling you.
So I have a new program comingout.
It's all about the emotionalexperience.
It's going to be a six weekcontainer where we're going to
go through the experience.
It's going to be a six-weekcontainer where we're going to
go through the wave.
We're going to go through thesolar plexus.
We're going to go through whatan actual emotional experience
is, right Tools to self-regulate.
We're going to go through thebody, the PHS system in human
(20:09):
design, about the body, justlike coming into your body and
really getting familiar with thesensations and rewriting those
narratives that come up and likereally supporting you in moving
through that, because I thinkit is game changing when you
actually can be in that spaceand support yourself and do that
work.
And so this program is startingJuly 8th.
(20:29):
I will leave the link in theshow notes if you want to join
us.
I also made the first module ofholistic human design academy.
So it's human design, astrologybasics, transit, how to track
the transits.
That's all in one little minicourse.
I guess that you can purchaseseparate from holistic human
design if you don't want to dothe whole program Self-paced on
(20:50):
your own.
That is now available.
I will also leave that in theshow notes and, of course,
one-on-one sessions are alwaysavailable.
Follow me on Instagram andTikTok at Rochelle Christian.
That's R-O-C-H-E-L-L-E, dotC-H-R-I-S-T-I-A-N-E, and website
is RochelleChristiancom.
You can see all the offers onthere.
And YouTube Podcast is onYouTube.
(21:12):
So if you'd like to watch it,you can head over to YouTube.
And, yeah, come visit me onsocial media.
If you're not there, follow meand I will talk to you next week
.
I hope this episode wassupportive and I'm so grateful
for listening.
Whether it's your first time,whether you've listened to it,
you know 100 episodes, 10episodes, whatever.
I'm just so grateful thatyou're here.
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