257. The Eldest Daughter's Guide to Entrepreneurial Freedom

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome to the Rochelle Christiane podcast,
formerly the Emotional Masterypodcast.
I'm Rochelle, your host.
I'm here to help you come backto your body, take charge of
your emotions and live life onyour terms.
This podcast is a space for raw, real conversations about what
it means to trust yourself, leaninto your power and create a
life that feels aligned andalive.

(00:24):
We'll explore human design,astrology and other tools to
help you understand your uniqueenergy.
More importantly, though, we'regoing to talk about what it
means to actually live andembody these aspects.
So each week, I'm going toshare stories, lessons, guidance
to help you navigate life'schallenges and really own your
magic.
So if you're ready to step up,take control and show up as the

(00:46):
most authentic version of you,let's begin.
Welcome back to another episodeon the podcast.
Today I'm talking to AlexisFrank, who is an eldest daughter
life coach, global thoughtleader, speaker, and I believe
that I just saw on Instagram herbook drops now.
You can pre-order it.
Alexis is a self-projectedprojector.

(01:07):
She is again a life coachfocused on eldest daughters,
which was so fascinating andwhat really drew me to her to
begin with.
Her energy is infectious.
She is such a badass.
She has so much confidence andit really oozes out.
By the end of this conversationI was like, yeah, I'm a badass
too, and it really helped justreframe my inner narrative a

(01:28):
little bit.
We obviously talk about beingan eldest daughter, what that
means, what qualities we hold,how to like break through the
narrative that is held withinthat.
We talk about human design.
We talk about parenting alittle bit.
We talk about projectors andtheir role of like helping us
see who we are.
We talk about romanticist books, smut books.
We talk about our centersproving like we talk about so

(01:50):
much.
It was such a good conversation.
I'm really excited for everyoneto listen to this one.
Like I said, her energy is justinfectious and this is one that
I'm just really excited toshare.
She talks about, within herprograms, all the somatic work
that she does, and this issomething that I've always you
know my journey to myself hashappened through my body of

(02:12):
being aware of what feels good,what doesn't feel good, trusting
yourself.
I think I believe this is whereit begins, this is where it is
required, and so I always lovewhen people talk about the
somatic work to reconditioning,to deconditioning, to that
subconscious reprogramming andreally being in it, and I spent
the.
I mean, I've been in thisprocess for a while, but it

(02:34):
feels like 2025 has definitelydone something to a lot of us
and astrologically, we can lookat it from that lens it's really
been this sort of like shedding.
It feels like it's been a towermoment, this whole like 2025.
And specifically the lastcouple of weeks, I just followed
like a synchronicity thingwhere someone was talking about
becoming supernatural and then Isaw it like a few other times

(02:55):
and I knew I had the book.
So I was like, okay, I'm justgoing to like dive into the book
again, I'm going to bring itwith me to Colorado and I'm
going to reread it.
And it was one of those bookswhere I read it in the beginning
of my journey.
But I don't remember.
I don't remember reading it.
So sometimes there are booksthat there's information that we
can only receive at a certainlevel of consciousness and I

(03:16):
feel like that's what this bookwas for me.
But it has really helped me overthe last two weeks or so, I
would say, implement meditation.
For one, I'm meditating atleast twice a day.
It's actually been more likethree times a day, and the day
that I got back here I think Imeditated four times because I
felt a little bit likeungrounded.

(03:37):
But I've been waking up earlierand if you know me, if you
listen to the podcast, gettingup early for me is a struggle.
I'm the person that snoozes heralarm like six times before I
get out of bed and I'm stillsnoozing my alarm, but I'm
getting up early enough to getin a 20 minute meditation while
I'm still in that thetabrainwave state.
So I've been really reallydisciplining myself in

(03:58):
meditation.
And here's the thing Meditationis a discipline.
It's not supposed to be easy,but it will change your life, it
will change your perspective,it will change your mind, it
will literally change yourneural pathways in your brain,
right.
And so I've been doing again DrJoe dispensa meditations
multiple times a day for sure,in the morning and at night I've

(04:18):
been doing he's got a um tuningyour chakras meditation,
blessing your chakras meditation.
It's like a 40 something minutemeditation.
Doing that like once a week andso like I feel like getting up,
waking up in the morning,meditating, the night journal.
I've been really getting my bodymoving a lot more than I used

(04:41):
to.
So I've been.
I have been walking a lot allsummer, but specifically lately,
I've been just going to the gymand working out in a different
way and I feel really good.
I've been eating better.
I've just been like keeping mymindset in a place because, I'll
be honest, I feel like I and Italked about a little bit last
week I feel like I've hit alittle bit of a rock bottom
moment and I think that whenwe're in these moments, we have

(05:02):
an option right, we can be thevictim, we can project, we can
feel sorry for ourself, we canlike swim in it, or we can do
the harder thing, which is toshift the narrative right, and
it's not about bypassing, it'snot about avoiding the reality
of the situation, because it isvery real and it is very there,
but it's about believing andsurrendering.

(05:22):
And for me, cancer is my 12thhouse and so all this energy
moving through cancer.
I normally feel really notstrange.
I feel really disconnected incancer season, but I think like
with Jupiter in there, it's beenso much.
It's supporting thesubconscious work and literally
as soon as Jupiter moved intocancer, I felt this like
energized, like I am going tochange my life.

(05:43):
I'm going to change my life.
It's that like really payingattention to the way that I word
things Like I was textingsomebody and I was talking about
, you know, me going to the gyma lot more in a different way.
I'm like I'm honestly goinghard, but not in a punishing
sort of way, and like it feelsso good to go in and challenge
myself and I was like, insteadof saying, oh, my goal is, or my

(06:04):
hope is, I literally simplysaid I'm going to make my body
look the way I want it to Likethere's no questions, there's no
option, and so kind of reallypaying attention to the way that
we say things.
I've really been going down thatrabbit hole of Neville Goddard
and all this stuff you can findon Spotify, like I'm not
gatekeeping, like go to Spotify,type in Neville Goddard, type

(06:24):
in Joe Dispenza, meditations,type in whoever else that you
feel inspired by.
Those are the two that I'vereally really been consuming a
lot of lately.
And Neville Goddard he has anaudio on Spotify where he talks
about really changing yournarrative in three days, your
inner narrative, and he wassaying, of course your limiting

(06:44):
beliefs are going to come up,but it's a matter of, in those
days, your inner narrative.
And he was saying, of courseyour limiting beliefs are going
to come up, but it's a matter of, in those moments, reframing
them, acknowledging them, seeingthem, but then saying you know,
everything's exactly as it'smeant to be.
I am changing my life.
Money comes easy to me.
I am the type of person thatpeople want to be in a
relationship like whatever it isfor you Again, not bypassing,

(07:05):
not avoiding, but just beinglike huh, okay, I witnessed that
.
But I choose in this moment tobelieve that money is easily and
effortlessly flowing to meconsistently all the time.
One thing that I journal everysingle morning and I think it
was Bob Proctor, I think it'slike his little quote, but I
journal it every single morning.
But I say I am so happy andgrateful that money comes to me

(07:27):
in increasing quantities frommultiple sources on a consistent
basis.
And the thing is, with all ofthis, you have to feel it,
because I think sometimes we dothe meditations, we do the
journaling, we do thevisualizations, but if we're not
actually bringing it into, sokind of going back right to what
I said, it's so much a journeythrough the body If you're not
actually bringing it into thebody and feeling what it would

(07:50):
feel like, to feel those thingslike when you're visualizing,
don't just see an image in yourmind Like what is the physical,
what is the emotion that you'refeeling?
Can you smell, can you taste it, can you feel it on your skin,
like it's actually embodying?
And that's the way that you canchange your life.
And so these meditations havereally been activating these
elevated emotions.
And so, if you remember back toa time when you felt like

(08:13):
immense love or gratitude, oreven if it's just like love for
yourself, like sometimes I willjust sit in my meditation and
I'm you know, especially firstthing in the morning, I feel
like it's kind of hard to likeget that elevated emotion a
little bit more, but I'll justsit there and be like I love
myself, I love myself, I lovelike, and I say it like that,
and it will eventually bring outthat emotion.
Or I'm so grateful for my life,I'm so grateful to be laying in

(08:34):
this bed, I'm so grateful thatI have a roof over my head, I'm
so grateful that my kids arehere.
So, whatever it is that willget you that elevated emotion,
and the longer you can sustainthat, the more you're
reprogramming.
So, as you can tell, I'm likesuper excited about it because
I've just feel like this hasbeen a challenge in the sense of
like being disciplined, gettingup early and meditating, like

(08:56):
these are things that I've beendesiring to implement into my
life.
I haven't had a drink since.
It feels like a long time, butit's really not.
I guess it's since Saturday,but I feel so good.
I drank a lot more this summerthan I have, but I just feel
like I'm in one of those phaseswhere I'm just so motivated and
I feel so good in my body and inmy mind and I feel clear, and

(09:19):
so I'm just going to keep itgoing.
I'm sustaining it as long as Ican and I'm changing my life.
That's it.
That's it.
So I hope you enjoyed thispodcast.
I hope it is as impactful foryou as it was for me.
You know, having thisconversation and editing it and
listening to it and, again, ifit resonates, share with a
friend rate review, subscribeall the things.

(09:40):
Holistic Human Design Academy.
The next live round is startingaugust 4th, so you can go to
the link below get on or join us.
You'll have access to theintroductory stuff immediately.
We'll start august 4th and I'madding two extra bonuses this
round.
That will be transits, trackingthe transits and parenting,

(10:01):
because this is something that'sbeen coming up a lot, just like
parenting with human design,how to use it, how how to lean
into it, and it's such abeautiful conversation and such
a beautiful tool for parenting.
And again, remember, like Alexasays in this conversation,
human design is an experiment.
It's an experiment and it's notfor everybody, and that's okay,
but if you lean into it and youuse it and you experiment with

(10:22):
it, it's so beautiful.
So I hope that you enjoy thepodcast episode.
Again, thank you so much forbeing here.
Thank you so much for listening.
I will talk to you next week.
Today I have Alexis Frank here,who is a life coach for eldest
daughter entrepreneurs, which Ifind so fascinating because,
like I said right before, Ipress record I'm an oldest

(10:45):
daughter and never even thoughtthat that would impact the way
that I show up in business and Imean in parenting, yes, but
like I never really put ittogether with entrepreneurship
or anything like that.
So it's so fascinating.
We're going to get into all ofit, but we'll start with, like,
if you're comfortable sharingyour design and your astrology
and any aspects of that thatmaybe kind of make made, made it

(11:06):
make sense to you like, whythis path or your journey or
your experiences, um, and thenjust like anything about your
story that you feel was reallypivotal to like get you to this
moment.

Speaker 2 (11:16):
Yeah, so in human design, I'm a one three
self-projected projector, um,which I love, cause I feel like
I'm a little rare unicorn.
Projectors are a little harderto come by.
And when I was coming up, evenjust as a young adult, I was
like when I have something tosay, I have I got to get it out,

(11:37):
like it's so important to me.
And when I discovered humandesign and I leaned more into it
, and when I realized that myauthority was self-projected, I
was like what does this mean?
And then I looked into it and Iwas like, oh my God, like this
is so everything about humandesign is validating.
But that piece in particularwas like okay, no, this makes

(12:02):
perfect sense for me.
Um, astrology wise, I'm a Virgo, I, I think the one thing I
don't know is the rising andthen the moon.
I think one is an Aquarius andone is a Leo, but I don't know.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (12:18):
I pulled it.
You have a Leo moon andAquarius rising yeah, which to
me, I also have a Leo moon, so,like the expression I feel like
of your emotions and what'shappening inside is it's so
powerful.

Speaker 2 (12:30):
Yeah, I, I have like that on the list this year to
really understand more of that,because right now, the way that
I integrate myself and myclients is through human design,
um, teledipity, which is like anumerology, and GPs, and so
those are the three things thatI use and I haven't added the,
you know, astrological aspect toit yet.

(12:51):
But one thing that I know aboutbeing a Virgo is that it's
really unfortunate for otherpeople, because as a projector,
I already am just like oh, whydo people do things the way that
they do them?
I already am just like oh, whydo people do things the way that
they do them?
And I think that being a Virgoadds another level of kind of
snobbery to it, because I'm likelet me do it, I can just let me

(13:17):
do it myself.
You're doing it wrong.
And so I consider myself to bethis like ultra snob, but in
such a good way because of theway that I push people to see
what's available to them, theystrive for efficiency, or when
they just strive to bethemselves.
It's like we bend over so farbackwards to be everything to
other people and we never worryabout how we are to ourselves,
how important we are toourselves and we have all of

(13:39):
these different guidance systemsthat teach us just how to be
ourselves, and yet somehow westill fight them in favor of
making sure that other peoplelike us, and then we don't even
like ourselves.
And so the eldest daughter pieceof it came in probably about
nine months ago and I was reallytrying to get niche and I was

(14:03):
like it's not just a woman and Iwas being stretched to like
it's not, of course I can helpany woman, right, it's fine,
yeah, and the snobbery, it'slike I can help anyone.
But I was like it's a specificwoman that's holding on to
something and I was driving downthe road and I'm voice noting
myself, obviously, right Causethat's self-project projected

(14:24):
does.
And I was like, wait a minute, Ithink it's these eldest
daughters.
And so I went back through toall of the women that I did
market research for for my newprogram and I asked them what
their birth order was, and 80%of them were eldest daughters.
And I was like, well, that's it, this makes perfect sense.
And when I really startedhoning in on that, so many

(14:45):
people were like in the sameposition as you was like wow, I
didn't really put you know,create that correlation.
There are still a lot of peoplethat are like what does this
have to do with anything?
And I'm like what does it nothave to do?
with it, and but not from aplace of woe is me I've had to
do so much but from a place ofso many people have leaned on me

(15:07):
because I'm so important andbecause I'm so powerful and now
I get to use that to do workthat I really love to do and to
impact the amount of lives thatI want to impact not just the
people who saw me as somebody tolean on for support.

Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, can I share a little bit of your astrology
chart that I see, I would loveto learn.
So you have Virgo sign, but thenyou also have Mercury and Venus
in there.
So you have this like stellium,these three planets that are
really like important.
You know interplanets.
This is communication.
Your values, like all of thisis held in that Virgo energy and
I think Virgo you know everyoneknows like perfectionist and

(15:43):
you know it's like really inservice to people as well.
So there is that piece of likejudgment and like analyzing, and
you can feel like Virgos arepicking you apart, but it's
really, I've truly believed thatVirgos so much want to serve
you, you want to help and that'swhy it just comes across
sometimes in a way that maybedoesn't like resonate with
everyone, but I think there'slike an underlying like you

(16:05):
really want to like do good, youknow, and like because it is
for for other people and it'sall in your seventh house.
So that's relationships.
So it makes sense that youwould want to be putting all of
this towards like relationshipsand you know, whatever dynamics
doesn't have to be just likeromantic relationships, but I do
think you know doing this sortof work leaks out not just to.
I know your focus is onbusiness and entrepreneurs, but

(16:26):
I do think that, as anentrepreneur doing this work.
It leaks out into every aspectof our life.
It's like you become self-aware.
But then it's like I do thiswith my kids or I do this with
my partner, and then you put allthese pieces together.
So it's really interesting.
And now with the nodes inpisces virgo, you know, I think
that's going to probably thatsouth node's gonna be moving

(16:47):
through your seventh house, likeand across all those pieces of
your chart.
So it might bring up some stuff.

Speaker 2 (16:55):
Yeah, and I'm supposed to be, according to the
numerology, I'm supposed to bewriting and finishing the book
this year and the book is aboutmy life and so a lot of stuff is
going to be.
A lot of stuff has already comeup and I'm just like it's so
fun, but you're right, it comesfrom a place of, in a sense, I
call it like aggressiveness,this aggressive need to help you

(17:16):
see yourself for the immaculatehuman that you are.
Like.
I was talking to one of thegirls at my kids dance school
the other day.
We do the adult hip hop classtogether and naturally, again
with the projector aura.
She's like I must come see youbecause you see me and herself,
and I almost lost it and I waslike you do not speak negatively

(17:37):
about yourself.
And she was looking at me like,why are you being so aggressive?
And I'm like you don't saynegative things about yourself,

(17:57):
because people who are lookingto bring you down will use that
as fuel and that's not okay.
And so you're right down, we'lluse that as fuel and that's not
okay.
And so you're right it's.
It's this kind of aggressiveneed to like help you, and it
comes from such a beautiful andgenuine place.
But that's why I have to alignit with the projector side of me
that has to wait for theinvitation, because if you're

(18:19):
not ready to hear what I have tosay, everybody's feelings are
getting hurt.
Your feelings are getting hurtbecause you're not ready.
My feelings are getting hurtbecause you didn't ask me and
I'm like why don't you find myadvice to be helpful?
And it's just better for me tokeep my specific mouth shut
towards you until you ask me.
But it's always been mypermission slip to run my mouth

(18:42):
on every public platform that Ican find, because it's so
important that I'm visible sothat people who need my help can
see me.
And I love that you brought upthe thing about relationships,
because I keep my human designand my numerology, my gene keys
all on my wall, see it.
So every morning I'm like allright, remember who you are

(19:04):
every single day, and mynumerology talks about how I'm
here to counsel millions in aphilanthropically minded
organization dealing with themesof power and wealth
administration throughrelationship development, and so
it's like literally everysingle system that's been out
there that, through the ages,people have designed it all

(19:27):
speaks to me doing the samething, which is really
validating, especially forpeople who are looking for a
roadmap.
I don't know how to do life,honey.
There are so many differentways telling you exactly what to
do, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (19:40):
I mean that's what all these modalities are for,
right.
That's why I always say, like,whatever one calls to you, I
mean that's what all thesemodalities are for, right.
That's why I always say, like,whatever one calls to you, and I
think it's so beautiful becausethey I do think that they all
have the same underlying messagewhen you really like, get down
to it, you know, it's just whatyou resonate.
More, that's, and I and I lovehuman design because it
literally gives you the map.
It's like follow this, do this,align to this, and then you,

(20:00):
but it literally hands it to youof like, here you go.

Speaker 2 (20:05):
It's so funny.
I follow this one guy onInstagram and he was talking
about how human design is.
The experiment actually isn'tmeant for everyone, because
deconditioning process you do alot of mourning of the person
that you thought you weresupposed to be, the person that
you thought you were.
I know for me, being aprojector like it's shown me a

(20:28):
lot, it validated a lot for me,but not knowing this until after
having like three children.
It's a lot because I've got twoManny Jen kids and I've got one
mental projector child and myhusband is a manifester and it's
like I have such a full lifebut little things.
Like I went on my walk thismorning and my son followed me

(20:48):
on his bike and started talkingto me because he's an emotional
man, he Jen so he's gone throughhis cycle and he was ready to
talk to me but I wanted to bealone because that was part of
my routine and it's likeobviously I love my children,
but it's like there were thingsthat I wish I would have known
better about myself andconsidered more about myself

(21:10):
before making the trip intoparenthood or to understanding
how everybody else works.
I know for me, all of my clientsright now are generators, and
most of them are sacralgenerators, and it's like I
prefer to coach them overcoaching other energy types,
because they are so keen tolisten to me and it doesn't feel

(21:31):
like you're just asking me formy opinion to make me feel
better about myself.
It's like they actually want toknow, but it is an experiment
that requires a lot of trial anderror.
You're not going to get itright and you don't have to
abide by everything.
It's not a rule book, butyou'll find it difficult to.
It's like once you see it, youcan't unsee it.

(21:52):
Yeah, and once you know thatabout yourself, you can't undo
it.
But a part of you still longsto cling to whatever modality it
was that you used to survive atthis point, even though it
still doesn't align with youanymore, and it's an entire
journey to let go of a lot ofthat stuff.

Speaker 1 (22:10):
It really is.
Yeah, I my.
So my kids are 14 and eight andI discovered all of this.
My son was one, so I feel likeI was able to more like align
him and kind of like let him beum people.
He's like my wild child, wherehe's just like so authentically
himself.
But then you know, my daughteroldest daughter too, you know
tying it into this and and Ithink that my wounding was

(22:31):
transferred to her because I hadno idea who I was.
But, yeah, I love that.
You said to you like it's notfor everyone, because, yeah, it
is an experiment and it isreally confronting.
As you like, move along.
But I also think it's sobeautiful in the way that, like,
I'm a manager and so in thebeginning I was like I'm going
to decondition in two years, I'mgoing to do this.
I got it, you know, and I waslike, so, like in it, and then I

(22:51):
was like wait, wait, wait.
This is not the way it works.
But it like literally revealthings to you as you like, move
through it.
It's like my design.
Let me actually step back andtry and embody this emotional
authority that I have that Ihave no idea how to regulate
Right.
And then it's like, as you kindof get a little like I think
that'll forever be a journey forme, but I'm like the pause has

(23:14):
been the most impactful thing.
It was just being like give mea minute Right Instead of just
like my Leo moon, like being areactionary and being fiery and,
like you know, being all thedramatics of everything, and so
it's just, it's such a beautifulprocess, but I'd be curious,
like for you, how has thatevolution, or how has that
experience with thatself-projected um authority kind

(23:34):
of like evolved over time?
Or how have you like been inrelationship with that?

Speaker 2 (23:39):
I mean, I mean, and now it becomes obvious.
So I have two coaches and oneof my coaches is more of like my
spiritual and my human design,and so she leans into it.
So anytime I have a question,she will message me.
She'll be like why are youtyping this when you know you
need to speak?
She's constantly mirroring backto me or she'll ask me a very

(24:06):
challenging question thatstretches me and she's like
she's probably asked me the samequestion like six or seven
times and I get reallyfrustrated.
And she's like you have tocontinue to hear yourself say
the thing.
And it's just something thatI've always leaned on, so like
if I'm doing journaling, I don'twrite, I voice note, and I love
that now, like iPhone hasjournal and you can just voice

(24:27):
note yourself, because that'show I come to all of my
conclusions, that's how I driveevery piece.
If I try to sit here like, okay, well, what do I want to do?
I'm not going to get anythinguntil I start talking and my
husband, he will just listen.
I'll be like I don't need youto say anything, I just need to
talk and you don't have torespond.
You don't do anything, I justneed to talk and I just even if

(24:51):
it's an audience of one, I haveto get it out, and it's what
I've leaned into the most forevery decision that I make for
myself.
Um, and that has actually beenthe easiest part to integrate
into my life, because I wasrunning my mouth anyway.
I was never one to be quiet.
I think now it's just morealigned, it's more intentional,

(25:13):
it's more strategic.
I understand it like fullyabout myself, and so it's like
it's not an option, it'ssomething that has to be done.
That was probably the easiestthing for me to integrate,
because I was a blabbermouthanyway.
I love that.

Speaker 1 (25:28):
I love when I see people that are like they are
living their design even thoughthey don't really know it.
But then, like you said, Ithink that point of being more
intentional about it makes itjust so much more powerful,
whereas then you have theawareness and you can really
lean into it in just a big way.
It's really cool.

Speaker 2 (25:44):
Yeah, it's like with the waiting for the invitation
that's one of for projections isthe hardest thing, right?
Because, especially asprojectors were like, well,
you're fucked up and you need toknow that you're fucked up so
that you don't continue on inthis path because I'm trying to
help you.
But that part I had to take astep back and be like you know
what, when somebody has alwaysasked me and came to me and say,

(26:04):
hey, take a step back and belike you know what, when
somebody has always asked me andcame to me and say, hey, I need
your help on this, that hasbeen when I have felt the most
fulfilled, and so I had to takea moment and be like this is for
your own good, because you'renot getting your feelings hurt
when you're waiting for people.
And I also had to figure outwhat an invitation actually
meant, Because it's been sittingaround in a quiet corner not
saying anything, because nobodycan see your brilliance.

(26:26):
Then it still gave me fullpermission to say whatever it
was I wanted to say wherever Iexisted, but then people who are
going to pay me for my work,they still had to come to me.
So, like cold emailing, dming Idon't do any of that stuff.
I just show up fully as myselfin on all of my platforms and I

(26:46):
have to wait for people to belike girl, you came from my neck
, how do I sign up?
Cool, great.

Speaker 1 (26:53):
Yeah, and I love that parallel between like being
that self-projected projector orlike a projector in general.
And then Virgo, because I wasin relationship with a Virgo
rising once and he like alwayswent out of his way to do things
for people but he would getlike so bitter about it and I'm
like, but did they ask you?
Cause?
It's kind of the same thing,like you're doing it cause you
want to help you see the issue,but then if you're not invited

(27:14):
in, then you're just going toget bitter about it.

Speaker 2 (27:16):
So that's what I always say, like those people
didn't ask you for that toocomes a lot from a place of, and
that's a lot to where theeldest daughter place comes in,
because so many of us are usedto being the one that people
call but then we're not beingcalled on for things that we

(27:37):
want to be called on for.
So you need me to help you outwith this or help you out with
that, but what I'm actually goodat my zone of genius you don't
listen to me for anything, andso it's like you didn't ask for
my help.
But I'm used to having torealize that people are going to
ask me for my help eventuallyanyway.
So I'm trying to jumpstart itand be that person.

(27:57):
But that's like a traumaresponse that's reactionary to
what I'm used to and a healthydynamic is is I sit here and
wait for you to ask me to dosomething, not assuming that I'm
going to have to do it, thatsomebody is going to need me to
have to do it.
It's like taking a step back andbeing like this is what's
actually aligned, not whatpeople have forced you to feel

(28:20):
like was necessary, or that'swho you should be to them, and
that's where so much of theeldest daughter trope comes in
is like, well, I just, I alwaysend up having to do anything
myself anyway, so I'm just goingto offer this to people.
But then they don't understandwhy this kind of rejection comes
with it, when they're assumingthat they're needed in places

(28:41):
but they're also then notputting their genius towards
what will actually get them paidand what will actually, you
know, liven up their lives,because they're still kind of in
this transition of people havealways needed me, but how come
people don't need me in mybusiness, or how come people
don't hear and balancing thatdynamic.

Speaker 1 (29:01):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
How do we so, like what aresome of like, the biggest
qualities that you see thatcomes from this eldest daughter?
And then like, yeah, how do youfind that balance between you
know, taking a safe route right,Because entrepreneurship?

Speaker 2 (29:27):
in and of itself has always been considered risky,
and so they don't tend to investin themselves the way that a
man would right.
They don't feel like they havethe freedom to fully be
themselves because theirfamilies are looking to them
with this expectation of well,you're supposed to be this way,

(29:48):
you're supposed to walk, talkand act this way, and so being
an entrepreneur is already anact of rebellion, and so they
feel like they still have tostay in between this perfectly
curated path so that they canstill prove to their parents, to
their family, whoever, thatthey are a success, even if it
wasn't the way that theirparents wanted them to have.

(30:08):
There is a lot of provingenergy, a lot of energy of
please see me, please understandthat I am good enough to do
this.
Please see that I'm the personthat you're supposed to pick.
There's a lot of pick me energy, pick me proving to people and
people pleasing and all of thosethings.

(30:28):
Keep them with probably lowerrates than they should have kept
me with lower rates for areally long time, not really
understanding the impact thatthey're here to have, or
settling for more of an ordinaryimpact or ordinary kind of life
.
Then they know somewhere deepin their soul that they're
destined for, because they'restill trying to play it safe,

(30:51):
and a lot of protectiveness ofthings that no longer serve them
, because they're worried thatthe unknown might let them down,
and then at some point somebodyelse will be proven right about
the fact that they took a riskand it didn't pay off, and so so
much of it can be fear-based.
And there's two different typesof eldest daughter entrepreneurs

(31:12):
that I work with, and these arethe ones that want to.
You know the lower end type.
It's like I know I got someshit, but I'm trying to build
this business on a foundation ofmyself, who I am, not who other
people want me to be, andthat's really important, that I
continue to challenge myself.
And then there's the eldestdaughter who has already created
a business and she could followeverybody else's rules, or

(31:36):
she's the one who's created someof the rules.
She's seen some success, butshe's seen that success through
walking the straight and narrow,doing everything the way that
she's supposed to do, and it haslimited her self-expression.
It has bought her money, but ithasn't really bought her
fulfillment.
And now she's at the pointwhere she's like I'm where

(31:58):
everybody should know my name.
I am that girl, I am the onefor people to know.
But I know that I have to beready to fully stretch myself
and fully see myself in orderfor other people to fully see me
.
And I know that this is theinner work that I kind of have
to do to be comfortable withlike being fully myself, because

(32:20):
her success up until this pointhas been defined by strategies
and analytics and tactics.
It hasn't been defined by.
This is who I am, and you caneither get with it or get lost,
and that feels so different.
So she needs to be stretched inthat way too.

Speaker 1 (32:35):
Yeah, like, as you were speaking, I was like, oh my
gosh, that's so me.
Like I feel like I never, evento this day, my parents don't
even know, like what my businessis.
My mom will always be like,whatever that thing is that you
do, it's not like a you know,like I've held the podcast and
I've held my coaching businesslike to myself, because I feel
like this is more authenticallyme and I don't know that they

(32:59):
see me as me and so it's.
You kind of mentioned that andI guess my underlying question
there is that like a theme witheldest daughters where we just
don't.
It's almost like I don't showthem who I am because I don't
want that judgment or thepressure of like.
You know my brother, he's he'syounger, but he's had the same
career for 15 years.
He's really successful, he's anengineer, he's makes a lot of
money, he's he's done everythingthe right way, right, and I

(33:21):
haven't.
And so I've held a lot of shameby that and I've felt like I've
been held to that standard oflike that's the path I was
supposed to go down.
So is that something that'svery common in that?
And just like holdingauthenticity like to ourselves.

Speaker 2 (33:34):
Yes, you're literally every single one of my clients,
every one of my clients.
It's like a lot of my clientscome to me like I don't want to
be like this or I don't want tobe like that, but then when I
ask them who they actually wantto be, they don't know.
And there's so much of who youare is defined in relativity to
another person as opposed tojust who you are by yourself.

(33:54):
And that's why, again, humandesign and numerology and gene
keys are so important in thework, because it's like this is
who you are, but then embodyingher without that shame, without
that ability to just be like.
I really don't care what youhave to say, because this is my
truth and I know that somebodyneeds to hear it, and my life's

(34:16):
work is to take responsibilityfor the effect that my aura has
on people.
So, simply because I exist, inwhatever outlandish form I exist
in, shows people what'savailable to them.
And amazing, beautiful womenlike you are like I am amazing.
But I hold so much of that tomyself because I am worried
about that shame, I'm worriedabout some level of guilt, I'm

(34:39):
worried that people willmisunderstand me, me, but you
long to be this person who'slike damn, I said the thing.
Or I command a room wherepeople are looking at me like
she really owns who she is and Ilead from that place of I know
who I am.
I'm not worried about whatother people have to say about
me, but getting you to thatplace requires such a deep level

(35:00):
of inner work.
And that's exactly the workthat I do, because all of my
clients are just like you inthat fact of I know I want to
have more, but I don't want itto come from a place of proving
like mom.
Why don't you understand whatmy business is?
It's coming from a place of.
This is what I do, and if youwant to watch, you can watch.
But I'm not really worriedabout whether or not you're

(35:20):
about to judge me for this,because this is what I'm here to
do.

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Yeah, and that's it's hard to do when you cause, even
now I've.
So the more I like lean into myauthenticity, the less I find
that I care and I can actuallysay, like I was telling a friend
the other day, somebody cause Idon't know, it's almost like
being an entrepreneur, likealmost feels like I'm doing
something illegal, where it'slike what do you do?
And I'm like, well, I don'thave like a job, you know, like
in that sense.
But the more that I feel likeI've owned that and just been

(35:52):
like this is I'm self-employedor I, this is what I do, it's
more powerful.
But there is still that littlepiece that it's like you know,
in certain situations, right,it's hesitant, like what are
they going to think?
Or or you know, kind of likeyou said, that acceptance.
I feel like I spent a lot of mylife seeking that validation
from other people to like feelvalid myself.
You know, and it's for a longtime that question of like, well

(36:13):
, what do you want?
I remember I went to therapyand that my therapist always
asked me that what do you want?
It's like I don't know.
Even in relationships it's likewhat do you want in a
relationship?
I don't know.
You tell me.

Speaker 2 (36:27):
And don't know.
You tell me yeah, and we do.
We do a lot of this inside ofmy work.
I recently held like anintention setting session a
couple of weeks ago with myclients and then I opened it to
the public too and we went on alist of like the five whys.
So when I had them originallyset their intention, I'm like
this isn't what you actuallywant.
We're going to get into theactual why.
And so every time they came toa new conclusion, I'm like yeah,

(36:47):
but why, but why, but why?
And you don't really want tomake 60k this quarter.
You just want to be yourself,and just being yourself will
invite that.
And so what does just beingyourself mean?
And so many again of thesewomen don't have this direction.
It's like I'm just doing thething.

(37:09):
You get stuck in the motionsand I feel that of like, well,
what if people ask me I actuallylove telling people what I do
they're like what do you do?
And I'm like I'm a life coachand they're like God.
And then people are like I'veonly ever seen people like that
on the internet.
And I'm like, yeah, that's cool, right, but it's like and then
when people talk to me a littlebit more.
They're like this totallychecks out.

(37:29):
You're exactly, you know, theperson that we think that you
are.
But radical ownership ofeverything it is that you want
is one of the first steps inleading yourself so that you can
lead others.
Because how can you tell otherpeople what to do or guide them
or mentor them if you don't takeradical ownership of everything

(37:51):
that you want for yourself, foreverything that you desire to
have for yourself?
Because then we're not fullyleading from a place of
authenticity, which is why, inall of the sessions that we have
inside of my coaching programswe have five every month I only
lead one of them.
There's four other women thatco-facilitate inside of my
program.
They're all women of color andthey're all projectors.

(38:11):
And the somatic breath work,the EFT sessions, the
meditations I go to all of thembecause and I share so anything
that comes up for me duringsomatic breath work, I share,
because I'm not perfect and Iknow that I have my own things
to work through.
And when I show these womenwhat it feels like to fully
engage in the work and fullyembrace it for themselves, they

(38:32):
feel more empowered to fully owntheir truth too, so that way
they can step into it andactually lead from the person
that they know they are.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
I was watching this podcast interview yesterday.
I don't know the guys that wereon it.
They're both like really famouspeople.
I've never heard of them, butanyway.
But one thing one of them wassaying was that he said he was
talking about how he neverprepares a script or anything.
When he does these big talks,he doesn't go in there with
things outlined, he justliterally lets it flow.
But he was saying one time hegot in there and somebody asked
a question that really triggeredhim and so he was like in that

(39:02):
moment, like I could have donethe people-pleasing thing, or
like the imposter syndrome, andlike, but he was like I just sat
with it.
He's like I actually cried onstage and but like to to your
point, like I think it's showingup in your authenticity and
like owning your humanness,because I think you know I don't
know if that's an olderdaughter thing but that imposter
syndrome, that like needing tobe perfect into, like having
this, like mask, on that thepeople can be like.

(39:24):
I know like human design is six, three.
So I think that role model partwhere I'm like I don't know if
I can let you in my mess becauseI'm supposed to be over here
Like I'm showing you how to dothings and I've been through it
myself, but then like, yeah, youhave moments of just being a
human and it can be reallychallenging to share that.
So I think that's reallybeautiful that you do show up
and like and share yourexperiences, that things are

(39:46):
coming through for you, sopeople can really see that that
part of the process.

Speaker 2 (39:50):
Well, I mean, and for you and I both having that
three line right, it's okay,you're the role model.
But you're the role modelbecause, one, you know what you
know.
But two, because you'veconstantly played and tried and
tried and tried again, and ourlives are built around
constantly trying new things andthen ditching them or being

(40:11):
like this isn't what works.
Like my friend asked me todaycause I posted on my stories, I
took my braids out yesterday andI was like I have to remember
condition my hair first, thenwash it, then condition again.
She's like what are you talkingabout?
I was like first time I took mybraids out and I shampooed my
hair first, it matted my hair upand it took me 45 minutes to
comb it out and so much of myhair came out.

(40:31):
I was like so now I conditionit and comb it out first, then I
wash it with shampoo and Icondition again.
She's like that must be why Ilose so much hair when I take my
braids out.
She's like I learned somethingnew every day and I was like
you're welcome from your trialand error friend.

(40:54):
Like nobody wants this perfectlypolished person anymore.
I don't know how it was everpopular, but again, that's a
projector thing, but womenwhimsically running through the
streets in high heels wearingthe pinkest blazer ever and
popping champagne at everychance they get the pinkest
blazer ever and poppingchampagne at every chance they
get.
It's so perfectly polished andit's so aggravating.
And I see right through itbecause I'm like there's still
something that you're notcomfortable with people seeing
and that is not how we mentorothers anymore.

(41:16):
People want to know that youhave been through the things
that you're guiding them through.
It's not just about strategyanymore.
It's not just about a DM script.
It's not just about you know aspecific way to lean into buyer
psychology.
People want to know that youget them at the deepest level,
that they need to be seen, andwe can only show them that by

(41:37):
being brave enough to beourselves.
And that's why half my posts,when they start like I do a
carousel, half my posts are justme twerking, because I'm like
this is literally what I do onWednesday nights.
Don't you want a fulfilling lifetoo?
I have so much of a lifeoutside my business.
But it didn't start that way Me, apparently.

(41:58):
I've always been louder andprouder than most people, but I
didn't always feel that way.
It took me a lot to even becomfortable doing what I've done
now people, but I didn't alwaysfeel that way.
It took me a lot to even becomfortable doing what I've done
now.
But people have always lookedto me for advice because I
always felt more of an ownershiparound who I was.
And that's the point of theprojector too, is to help show
the generator and themanifesting generator who they

(42:20):
are.
I know who I am.
A lot of y'all don't, andthat's my job is to help you see
who you are, because you guysare the life force of this
planet and to build somethingthat is amazing, but to build it
from a place of trueauthenticity, to build it from a
place of happiness and fun andcare and from a place of I get

(42:40):
to do this.
I can't believe this gets to bemy life.
I can't believe it gets to bethis easy instead of a place of
obligation.
I don't want to.
Is this all that?
There is the flip and thedynamic pushes so much positive
energy throughout our planet andjust the human experiment in
general.
It's beautiful and it's soamazing to be able to guide that

(43:00):
energy, because I can't haveany of it, so I might as well
guide it.

Speaker 1 (43:08):
Yeah Well, I love it.
And I think it's so fascinatingto me when, because you
obviously have such an openchart, like all your centers,
you're really amplifying a lotof energy from others.
And then that one, that one,three, right, that really does
hold like insecurity.
But it's so interesting thatwhen you know people people, I
mean I'm just meeting you but Isee a confidence, I see a

(43:28):
knowing and that really, I thinkshines through in the way that
you communicate.
And it's just interesting whenyou meet somebody who's design
and we're all supposed tobelieve, oh, if you're open,
then you're just walking aroundbeing so sensitive and I don't
think that it necessarily meansthat I dated a reflector for
over a year and he was like oneof the most confident people
I've ever met and it just likeit's.

(43:49):
I think we have thismisunderstanding of what the
openness actually means in humandesign, because it's like I
feel like maybe you've justleaned more into your gifts,
right, which are communicating,which are speaking right,
speaking your truth, and thingslike that.

Speaker 2 (44:03):
So it's like it's less about, I think, all the
openness and more about, like,focusing on what you do really
well.
Yeah, and having an undefinedor an open center isn't a bad
thing.
It's easily, you know, it'seasy to be construed as a bad
thing.
One thing I've been thinkingabout over the past few weeks
was I realized that I had acompletely open like spleen, so

(44:28):
I have zero gates coming fromthere.
That and my sacral.
I have absolutely no gatestouching either of those two
things, which is just incredibleto me how the spleen operates

(44:49):
and how it is the center forfear.
I realized, because I have adecent amount of fear, but I was
like, wait a second, none ofthis is mine.
And they're like, a person whohas a completely open spleen
does not come into this worldwith any fear of their own.
And I recognize that in myyoungest child.
She also has a completely openspleen as a, even as a mani-gen,
and I can see it.
She constantly walking shit upand down the stairs and I'm like

(45:10):
you're going to fall, but she'sfour, she doesn't have anything
to fear, there's nothinghappening here.
And I'm like my fear of flyingnot my own, my fear of driving
over bridges not my own, andsomething that has made me feel
really good is like at the endof this experiment, I will be
deconditioned from the way thatI was supposed to be and I'm

(45:31):
like I'm really looking forwardto flying without fear, going
back on bridges and drivingagain without fear, because I
can remember distinct points intime when I started to fear
those things more and when Irealized it's not mine, it's
somebody else's.
I'm like this is so excitingbecause probably by the time I'm
40, I won't feel this wayanymore, and that's really

(45:53):
exciting.
That's something that youreally get to look forward to
and it's not a bad thing, and Ithink it also helps with the
guidance, because I also have 10million ideas swirling around
in my head, like I could do thisand I can do that.
And I'm like hold up, you gotan undefined head, so you,
you're going to be like I can dothis and I can do that, and I

(46:14):
don't want to keep starting andstopping and starting and
stopping, and it's like take asecond, is this something that
you actually should be doingright now, or should you?
And it's just such a beautifulroadmap and there's nothing
negative about it at all.
Um, although I just sometimes Iwish, like, can I like half fill
the sacral?
Like just a little bit, alittle bit more, and it's a

(46:37):
little because I'm looking at myschedule today and I'm like I
over committed.
I'm supposed to be threedifferent and this is a bad idea
.

Speaker 1 (46:43):
I'm gonna be so grumpy by four o'clock, oh yeah,
I feel that I mean I have adefined stake role and sometimes
I'll like I'm a Taurus sun, sosometimes I don't know if I just
like I really lean heavily intothat sometimes, or like I just
sometimes love to just lay inbed and do my work, where I'm
like this is so comfortable forme.
I comfortable for me, I thinkit's that earth energy, right,

(47:10):
we just like that.
Safety and security, and eventhe one three wants that
security and safety and knowingthat there's that foundation
below you to be able to likebuild on.
But yeah, I don't know, like,obviously, human design is just
fascinating and how it, how wecan align to it and how it shows
up.
And yeah, I think that we'realways kind of even going back
to, like the oldest daughterthing.
I just think that we're alwayslike looking for what's wrong
with us instead of focusing onwhat's right with us.

(47:31):
And I'm you know, those are bigair quotes because there's
nothing right or wrong, you know.
But, like I know, I spent solong and I do think it's a part
of the journey I spent so longlooking at my shadows and like
trying to fix them and thenfinally got to the point where I
was like why am I focusing onsomething that doesn't come
innate to me?
Like why don't I just focus onthings I'm good at?
Yeah, you know, like I have adefined throat, my, my solar
plexus and my throat's connected, so, literally, me speaking

(47:52):
about emotions is part of, like,my purpose.
So it's like why am I holdingthat?
It like hurts me to hold it,like you not being able to speak
your truth.
You know, like this, just itwould be like you not being able
to speak your truth.

Speaker 2 (48:06):
You know, like.
That's just.
It's like focusing on theshadow is I.
I think when you focus on whatit is that you're actually good
at, you're innately transcendingthe shadow by amplifying what
it is that you're good at.
Nobody said that you had toactually focus on it and try and
fix it.
Like you said.
For me it's just an act of Idon't know obliviousness or an

(48:28):
act of ignorance to be like.
I'm not choosing to focus onthat.
I'm choosing to focus on what Iknow it is that I'm good at,
and I will naturally transcendwhat I feel is negative about
myself.
I mean, I practice imperfectmovement all the time, even as a
one three who was like do Iknow enough?
Of course it comes up all thetime.
Even as a one three who waslike do I know enough?
Of course it comes up all thetime.

(48:48):
Anytime somebody asks me abouthuman design, I'm like well, I'm
not certified.
I don't go around reading otherpeople's charts for them.
I have somebody to come and doit for me and I'm.
But when people want to talk tome about it, I transcend the
shadow of do I know enough bywillingly accepting and saying,
yes, I can't wait to talk aboutthis because I know I know what

(49:09):
I know too and I know that Ihave done enough work.
I'm also just not a fool forcertifications.
I think a lot of certificationwork is just perfectionism and
action, and it's an excuse tocontinue to not be visible to
people who need to see you,because you're waiting for a
perfect time, and that'ssomething else that a lot of
eldest daughters do too.
We get a lot of degrees, a lotof certifications, a lot of

(49:31):
courses, a lot of training andanother way of this proving
energy, and it's like well, I'mnot good enough now, but maybe
after I get this one morecertificate, as soon as it drops
into my email, then I'll begood enough.
And then you never feel goodenough and it's because you're
not taking the appropriateaction.
And then that is where I've hadto come in with my clients like

(49:51):
put that shit down, you do notneed another certification, you
do not need another trainingcourse.
Follow what makes you interested, follow what lights your heart
up in that moment, but don'tresearch because you feel
inadequate.
Research because it's somethingthat you want to have, it's
something that you want to know.

(50:11):
I go down rabbit holes all thetime.
But it's not because I feelinadequate, it's because I'm
like oh, this is interesting,and then the more that I know
it's interesting.
I seem to learn things as soonas I need to know them.
So as soon as I have anexperience, somebody somehow,
like in the next week, needs theknowledge that I just learned

(50:31):
and I'm like this is so cool.
But if I was just trying tolearn because I felt inadequate,
it wouldn't feel as easy, itwouldn't feel as giving, it
wouldn't feel as abundant as itdoes when I'm just like well, I
want to learn about this.
I'm going to spend an hour anda half on Google figuring it out
.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
Yeah, I 100% agree and definitely fell into that.
Like I need all thecertifications and all the.
I don't have a human designcertification either, but I'm
also like I've spent six yearslike studying and researching
and like I've had to likereframe that to be cause people
will be like, oh, where were youcertified?
I'm like I just learned it, youknow.
Like same thing with astrologyI there's so many resources out

(51:09):
there and like my own experienceand like you meet or you learn
more I feel like engaging withpeople and engaging with life
than you do like from the books.
Like I always I was fortunateto have traveled a lot in my
life and I will always say topeople like I think that
experience gave me moreeducation than going to school A
thousand percent, because it'slike you're going places with

(51:30):
people who don't look like you,who don't have the same cultures
, and you're finding a way tocommunicate and understand and
being curious and being open,and I value that experience 100%
more than any paper.
That said, I learned somethingLike it's just it's yeah.

Speaker 2 (51:45):
It's so much better for you, it's so much more real.
I personally think that degreesand certification and training
courses are just another arm ofthe patriarchy.
It's just another arm ofcapitalism.
It's just another way for us tofeel inferior and like that.
There's always something moreto strive for, as opposed to

(52:05):
just radically owning who we are.
And I have my MBA and I'm likeI don't care about
macroeconomics, I don't careabout any of that.
That's not helping me.
I don't care what the worldeconomy is doing right now.
I care about saying what I needto say and the people who want
to pay me will pay me.

(52:28):
And I didn't learn enough that Iwanted to know from all of
those degrees that came fromproving energy.
And I'm learning more from mycoaches, learning more from my
sales coach.
I've had two sales coaches nowand it's like learning all of
these different things.
Like my sales coach said to methe other day.
She was like when you call outthe lurkers, she's like you're

(52:51):
giving them the attention thatthey're craving and they still
don't move because you're givingthem the attention that they
need.
So she's like we ignore them.
And I was like because I loveto rag on people who say they
want to change and then never doanything about it.
And she's like you've spent somuch time talking to people like

(53:13):
that and then nobody ever doesanything about it.
She's like you want to talk topeople who are ready to move
right now and I didn't learnthat in any of my degrees.
Who was going to teach me that?
No, I needed to learn frompeople who have done the same
thing I did.
They tried it, it didn't work.
They tried this way.
It didn't work.
And then I talked to them aboutwho I am.

(53:34):
And they don't try to make mefit in with everybody else,
because I won't and I'm notgoing to hire you if you even
think you're going to try andmake me fit in.
But it's like it's like, okay,say what you want to say.
And she's like you must keeptwerking on your stories.
It's something that you do andI'm like I know I'm going to do
that anyway.
And it's for me, it's such aradical act of defiance to say I

(53:56):
am the woman in my industry.
I have already been on stageswhere people listen to me and I
intend to be on even more stages.
And I don't dress up.
I do all my work, for my bed.
Everywhere I go, I probablyhave on sneakers and sweatpants.
All of my content is me actingan absolute donkey, because that

(54:16):
is who I am.
And if we can step away from theperfectly polished blazer and
pantsuit version of what itmeans to have success, what it
means to have wealth, what itmeans to be a person who has it
all, if you can see more ofyourself in me and not in that
person, then I've doneeverything right, because I want

(54:38):
to dismantle this entirebullshit system that we have
built, because it's complicated,it's not real, it doesn't work,
it burns people out, it makesthem feel inferior.
And if I can dismantle that bysharing my hip hop videos or
sharing how much smut books I'veread this month, then I'm going
to do that it's funny, like asyou're, I was thinking I've,

(55:02):
I've gone down the whole rabbithole of like all the ACOTAR
books and I'm on fourth wing now.

Speaker 1 (55:06):
I don't know, but like I, like, as we were kind of
talking about like the wholeeducation, have you read iron
flame, or was it called ironwhatever?

Speaker 2 (55:13):
fourth, the fourth, fourth wing, and then I think
it's iron flame and Onyx storm.
I have not read them, yet Ihaven't.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
I'm in a different land of smart right now oh god,
I got it.
Well, that's that's where I'mcurrently at.
But, like, one of them was likeyou know they're, they're like
dragon riders and so they're inthis formal education system and
then, you know, without likespoiling anything, they get out
of it.
But then they're like, theylook back and they're like why
were they not teaching us thisin school?
Like this is what's empoweringus, this is what's making our

(55:40):
magic bigger, and it's just likeI I love fantasy and I love
that kind of stuff, just becauseit's like it is fantasy and it
isn't like an alternate realitywith like magic, but then also,
like we all have magic, we allhave these abilities like to
think that we're so disconnectedfrom like and I love like witch
books because they're soconnected to earth and these
elements and the ground andthey're very much in their
sexuality and there's just likeso much like power to it.

(56:02):
I don't know if that was acomplete tangent, but you
mentioned some of my books and Iwas thinking of like the last
scene in mine.
I was like oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 (56:08):
So good, oh my god, I know the one I finished
yesterday.
Like this series, I've been iceplanet barbarian series and I'm
like girl muddy, I'm like don'tthink listen.
Just because you see me readingdoes not mean I am getting any
smarter way more going on overhere.
That's why I'm so right ask mewhat I'm reading.

(56:29):
Don't be reading over myshoulder either, because you
don't know what you're gonna seeon that page my daughter did
that once and she was like helicked her.

Speaker 1 (56:35):
What I'm like?

Speaker 2 (56:35):
go away I'll explain to you when you're older.
But you should know about that.
We already talked, talked aboutit.

Speaker 1 (56:44):
She's 59, six, that's the only channel that she has.
And so I've noticed, like we'vehad, we've had this sex
conversation like years ago,because I'm like people are
going to come to you, justbecause you hold that energy,
like adults will tell her thingsthat I'm like they're not even
like sexual, but just in generallike adults will tell her
things and she'll repeat it tome.
I'm like why would that personthink that was okay to tell you
Literally?
But it's just because of thatenergy, it's just like that

(57:05):
training, like aura that theyhave.
It's crazy, but that's offtopic.

Speaker 2 (57:11):
Okay, we can do a whole other episode about the
smut we read, I know, right.
I feel like the more that we'rehonest about the smut that we
read, the more empowering it isfor all of us, because then,
especially when we're sharing iton the internet, people are
like what smut are you reading?
You should read this.
And now we're having this wholegirl gang of everybody's in

(57:31):
their book girl era reading thesmuttiest stuff out there,
owning who they are making theirmoney, and I'm like it could
all be so simple.

Speaker 1 (57:38):
Yeah, you know it's crazy, and I was 100% that
person that, like for yearsprobably for like six, seven
years, probably for like six,seven years all I read was human
design, self-help, persondevelopment.
I was just like that.
I was like I don't watch TV, Idon't watch movies, like I'm so
in it.
And then, like this summer waswhen it happened, I probably
read 20 books since then and I'mlike I forgot how much this
makes me creative.
It helps me, tap it, likethere's like there's so much

(58:01):
beyond just like the sex.
But even that it's like Ooh,now I know what I want to try
next time.
Like it's just like ignitesthis, like part of you that I
think so much of us aresuppressing.
And then I in that right, it'sstill like allowing us to be
more authentic.
Because it's like oh, Iactually like this stuff.
Like I started sharing like,kind of like, like sex things on
my Instagram, you know, justlike little clips from books and
people are like Rochelle, I'mlike, but it's so good this is

(58:23):
also part of like what I do withevery day.
I'm like reading this stuff.
Why can't I share it?

Speaker 2 (58:27):
I mean, and that's and I think that's the other
tool right, it's like, again, aseldest daughters, not only are
we taught we're supposed to bethese persons, part of what
we're taught is sex is bad, theyare married, this, that and the
because.
Then you're taking away fromother people.
And I'm reading these books andone of these girls she's like.

(58:53):
She's like I've never been withanyone.
He's like okay.
And she's like well, he wasliterally like okay.
And he's like like what doesthis have to do with anything?
And she's like well, you know,wouldn't you want?
He's.
She's like shouldn't I like notdo things with myself?
He's like wouldn't I want toknow exactly what you want so
that I can do that for you?

(59:13):
And she's like oh, I neverthought of it that way and it's.
We grew up so much thinking thatthese things were off limits to
us.
Yeah, and we have all of thesedifferent role models and author
form showing us what'savailable to us.
And we have all of thesedifferent role models and author
form showing us what'savailable to us.
I'll be at some of it as alittle outlandish.
I was like my, my feet can't goall the way in that.

(59:35):
We're not there.
Yeah, I don't like it, but it'slike you know things, like you
know what's available to you,and it's like this permission
slip to unleash ourselves ontothe unsuspecting world.
And I think that, as women, whenwe violently own everything

(59:56):
about us not just how we run ourmouths, but how we want to be
seen sexually, how we want to betreated sexually, how we want
to be, literally everything, andwhen it becomes about us,
that's so much of the power thatI think that hundreds of years
ago, men realized and were likeoh no, no, no, this threatens us

(01:00:17):
.
So she got to feel bad aboutherself.
And it's like you can't make mefeel bad about myself anymore,
because you're right, One thingleads into the other.
I read more of my smut booksthan I'm.
Then, when I go to hip hopclass and she got some thick
twerking music on, I'm just likeI got to twerk even harder.
And then when I come home, I'min such a good mood and that

(01:00:38):
rolls over into my marriage.
And then, then what?
Then?
Now he's satisfied.
So now he's doing more thingsfor me and taking better care of
me, because he's all happy.
And now he's all happy and he'severything he's taking care of.
Now I feel taken care of.
So now I'm going to go back andwe're not taught that.
We're taught that.
You know, knowing ourselves andloving ourselves is somehow a

(01:01:00):
threat to society, the way thatit is, and all I can say is good
, yeah, good Watch who they hateto see me coming.

Speaker 1 (01:01:13):
Yeah, and I think that even just when you look
even regardless, I was gonna sayastrologically, which, yes, is
like a huge factor in like whatwe're experiencing, but just
like energetically, like lookingaround, like where we're going
I think that we're just so manymore people are realizing like
this isn't it, like this is notworking.
We are fitting, continuallytrying to fit into a box that is
not made for us anymore, and so, of course, within that, it's a

(01:01:34):
lot of challenge and fear andall the things that are
happening, but like can you lookat that, I think, and be
excited for what's on the otherside of it and can you come back
to, and I think that's why it'slike conversations like this
and authenticity and likeknowing yourself and learning
yourself are so important nowbecause we're, as a society,
it's so unstable and it's sounknown that if you can't stand

(01:01:57):
in yourself, love yourself andbe confident in that, like I,
like you almost have nothing.

Speaker 2 (01:02:01):
Yeah, and that's why it's so important for women like
us to continue to be visibleand to continue to show people
what's possible for them whenthey do stand in their power,
because there's going to be ourvoice, and then there's going to
be the voice of safety.
There's going to be the voiceof trying to manipulate you into
staying where you are, and it'sgoing to be easier to follow
that voice than it is going tobe to follow us.

(01:02:24):
But we have to continue to beloud.
We have to continue to createthis impact, and that's why I
work with these women who arelike I have to be her.
It's like I'm going from thisis what was safe, but I'm not
exactly at the woman who hasthis big impact yet, but I know
that I want to be her, and soI'm learning how to be her so

(01:02:46):
that I can help other women whocome behind me.

Speaker 1 (01:02:49):
Yeah and sort of like .
So bringing it back to theeldest daughter so say, I mean,
I am an old story, but like if Icome to you and I work with you
, like what does the work looklike?
And like what are the?
I guess like what are the tools?
Or how am I like kind ofdiscovering myself?
And I think also specifically,you know, for entrepreneurs, I
think money stories are likehuge in like the way that we

(01:03:10):
operate and, like you said, evenbeing able to be like I'm
asking for $2,000 instead of 500, because I know that that's
what I'm worth.
Right, how do we like begin toshift that mindset, to like be
more empowered in who we are andshow up in our business that
way?

Speaker 2 (01:03:22):
Yeah.
So one of the again the waysthat I love to work with my
established entrepreneurs isinside of my mastermind.
And the first month of themastermind, my coach describes
it as a sandwich and it's justso intense because you are about
to see yourself more clearlythan you've ever seen yourself

(01:03:42):
in your entire life, and so mostof the women that come into my
programs aren't as well versedin human design and numerology
and gene keys and things likethat.
So we cover that right out thegate.
It's like what's your humandesign?
What are your gene keys?
What is your overview statementfor numerology?
Because what I'm not about todo is walk you through six

(01:04:05):
months of you trying to figureout who you are in that regard.
We know what you're here to do.
Let's figure out what feelsgood for you with this blueprint
and then we get into the rootof why you haven't already been
this person and whatever thesereasons are.
Well, and I get to them superfast.

(01:04:25):
Just because I pick it out, I'mlike, nope, you skipped over
this line and you think I didn'tsee it, but you said it and
it's like okay, why don't I feelcomfortable charging more?
Why don't I feel comfortablebeing seen in this space.
And then we use all of ourcontinuous somatic practice to
work through that Somatic breathwork, eft tapping, abundance,

(01:04:50):
mindset work.
We spend 80% of the work in thesubconscious mind rewriting all
of it, going through all of itwe do.
I highly recommend Dr JoeDispenza's Tuning into New
Potentials Quantum Meditation.
We spent a lot of time workingthrough that one because it's

(01:05:11):
like the more that you spendtime in an infinite field of
possibilities bringing the onepossibility you want to yourself
, the sooner you can have it andthe more tangible it becomes
and the easier it becomes foryou to embody that person.
And so 20% of the work is toplevel, with me being like babe,

(01:05:32):
what are you doing?
And the 80% of the work is youknow that this is the thing that
you're struggling with and weare constantly feeding your
subconscious mind newinformation, constantly feeding
your subconscious mind newinformation.
So that way, and I literallyhave clients who wake up one day
and they're like I'msomething's different and I feel

(01:05:52):
completely empowered to do thething.
Now I have one client.
She was like just small changes, like she was working on
co-coaching inside of anotherlike program, and she was like
well, I can do this and I can dothat.
She did one subliminalmeditation which all of the
meditation work, all of thesomatic, everything that's done

(01:06:12):
in my program is bespoke forthis program, it's made for this
particular client.
And she did that subliminalmeditation and she was like I
came back and the next day Itold this woman I'm actually
really badass and I actually doway more than I talked to you
about yesterday and it was likewatching that needle move.
It's a pleasure to be a part of, it's a privilege to watch

(01:06:33):
these women grow.
And so it's like that firstmonth of just figuring out why
you're here, because I also workwith highly emotionally
intelligent women who knowexactly what it is that's
causing the rift.
They just don't know how to getpast what it is that's causing
the rift.
They just don't know how to getpast it.
And that's when I create thisfunnel of we're doing this
breath work, we're doing thishypnosis, we're doing this using
this modality, here, there andeverywhere, and I am just there

(01:06:55):
with you every step, watchingyou as you grow, helping you.
When you feel like this feelsreally big today, because I
don't really know, but I knowthis is what I'm supposed to do
and I just, I just need somebodyto give me a swift boot in the
ass to do it, and I promise I'mgoing to do it.
And it's this beautiful way andthere's six, nine and 12 months

(01:07:15):
of like, of this way that youcan work with me, because
obviously some women need morehelp than others, but they're
still all their way on, like ontheir way to their biggest
impact.
But, yeah, it's um, it's 80%subconscious work and I pick and
choose the direction.
We do that combined with me atthe conscious level.

Speaker 1 (01:07:35):
Yeah, that's amazing Sounds.
I mean so powerful thatsubconscious work is like
literally everything, cause Ithink that you can think that
you're doing the work and justlike fall into those patterns
and you're like, oh my gosh, Ithought I was here and then this
happened, right.
So I think supporting that andconstantly being in that space
is really powerful.

Speaker 2 (01:07:53):
Well, and it shows up .
It shows up in in your offerstoo, Right?
So, like I had one client, shecame through and she had this
like free community, and she wasa five one.
And I'm like, girl, people areprojecting all over you and you
don't know how to field that out.
Yet I'm like, so you don't needthis free community.
I'm like because people arejust asking you to do more and
more and more and more and more,and this is a one-sided

(01:08:15):
relationship.
You're not getting anything outof this.
And so I'm like you need to nixit.
And she's like you're totallyright.
And so she did.
And she swapped that for infavor of like a low cost, like
$20 a month, community.
And I was like you also need tonix, like like mid ticket
coaching, like 2k product.
I was like this isn't for youeither.
And she was like no, you're soright, I've been bored with it.

(01:08:36):
Da, da, da da.
And so it's like it's not justwhat's holding you back, it's
how is this reflected and howyou're operating your business
and walking you through it asyou're experiencing it, and you
might come into the program like, well, no, I like this, and
then later you're like this willabsolutely not do anymore
because I've grown so much.
Let's figure out how I cancreate more cash in a more

(01:08:59):
aligned way for me and stillcreate that impact in a way
that's not sucking the life outof me.

Speaker 1 (01:09:11):
Yeah, yeah, I recently launched like a program
and I spent a lot of time likewondering what I should price it
at right.
My subconscious beliefs, mylimiting beliefs was all coming
up and then I like had to sitwith myself and be like Rochelle
you've been in this work forlike seven years.
At what point are you going tofeel like an expert, like you
have to.
Just so I did.
I put the price higher thanI've put anything before and
it's like I almost feel likewhen you do that, there's less

(01:09:31):
of a conversation Like peoplewill if they, if they buy, they
know they're in it.
There's no like well, whatabout this?
Or can I do?
It's just like.
It's like a knowing almost, andso I don't know that.
I think there was somethingabout that too, but that was
magnetic.
That like drew people in Cause.
I was like Whoa, this wasreally easy.
I just had to like believe inmyself and be like no, I'm worth
, like all this information.
All this time I've spentlearning, like putting it out

(01:09:52):
there.
But it is.
It is a hard I think hard likestep to get out.

Speaker 2 (01:09:55):
Like it took many launches of me having the coach
Um and that's the beauty ofhaving the guidance, because you
don't have to sit there andruminate for years over how many
launches am I going to continueto do this?
For how many different times amI going to do this to myself

(01:10:16):
where it's like no, no, no.
I know exactly the tool that itis that I need to use in this
moment to push myself past thispoint.
I'm going to use it, I'm goingto do it and I'm going to own it
.
I'm going to embody it, becausewhen I stand with my chest
puffed out, even if it feels alittle bit scary and it feels a
little shaky, I'm still standinghere, and that is how I'm
attracting these people who wantto work with me, and then that

(01:10:37):
is how I gain more confidence,over and over and over again.

Speaker 1 (01:10:41):
Yeah, for sure, and I think that sometimes that's the
chaos of the third line is likeforcing ourselves to go through
that Cause.
Then it's like well, now I knowI've done it for six years why
don't we have you do it in twoor less?

Speaker 2 (01:10:54):
Exactly, exactly.
It's like your empowermentdoesn't have to take forever and
ever.
Like I first started sellingthis program.
It was 10 K and I was like Idon't know how we're going to
sell a 10K program.
And then I sold a 10K program.
I was like it needs to go up to.
I was like six months isn'tlong enough.
I was like I need a nine monthoption and I was like I need to
raise, you know, that option to15.
And I was like I don't know howI'm going to do it.

(01:11:15):
And then the girl at first shedidn't say anything.
She was like I don't know if Ican, but I had.
I didn't see the message.
And then by the time I checkedthe message, she was like
actually I'm having this billclear up.
She was like so I'm ready now.
And I was like wow, okay, I cansell it.

(01:11:37):
People are willing to do damn.
Look what happens when you justhave the audacity to own your
shit.

Speaker 1 (01:11:44):
100, and I think like which could be a whole other
conversation like money is fake,so fake, you know, like we put
all this weight on somethingthat's not even real.
Yeah, I think like shiftingthat too is helps, but well, and
the fact that you it's.

Speaker 2 (01:11:58):
It's fake, but it's also infinite and you can have
so much of it, and by you havingsome of it, you're not taking
away from other people.
It's just one small aspect ofthe abundance that you can have
and it's like you are amazing.
Why not you?
Why not?
Why shouldn't you have all ofthis money?
Why?
Because you think if you have alot of money, you're a bad

(01:12:19):
person.
No, now we're going to workthrough that, because that's why
you don't have any money rightnow.
Or you think you have to change, you think you have to give it
to people, or you thinksomething has to happen in order
for you to have space for money.
And again, we noticed thesethings, you know, head on in my
programs and it's like oh okay,I see what's going on here,
let's fix that.

(01:12:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:12:40):
You can get paid.
Oh my gosh, I could literallytalk to you all day.
This has been so interesting.
I know we like jumped aroundand kind of went on a lot of
tangents, but I do think that,like the message here is really
powerful and I think, like justthe energy that you bring, like
it's definitely felt and and isempowering, like I even just
come like conversating, havingconversation with you, I'm just
like, yeah, I'm a badass, like Ican do this.

(01:13:01):
So how can people find you?
And then, and how can they workwith you?
And I'll, of course, have itlinked up in the show notes as
well.

Speaker 2 (01:13:12):
Yeah, so you can find me on Instagram or threads at a
Frank life coach.
I'm also on LinkedIn and Icause a very big stir on
LinkedIn.
So if you're looking to shakeup that platform, you can
definitely find me over therejust on my regular name.
And then again, the two waysthat I work with women is my
baby entrepreneurs are inside ofmy membership called Audacity,

(01:13:32):
really helping them becomeinevitable, become unstoppable,
become confident in how theyshow up in their business and
creating that foundation.
And then I have my RuthlessPursuit of Self Mastermind,
which is for my establishedentrepreneurs who are ready for
such a big impact and I knowthat they're ready for that next
level of work that goes farbeyond strategy and far beyond

(01:13:53):
funnels and figuring out what tosay next and just learning true
embodiment of who they are.
And you can find all of thatinformation on the fccoachcom.
I don't know how long it'sgoing to stay that way.
I am rebranding from a businessbrand to a personal brand this
year and it's going to be waymore wild, so I'll let you know

(01:14:14):
when that shifts.
But yeah, that's how you canfind me, that's how you can see
all my twerking, all of myantics threads, If you really
want to see the unhingednessthreads is.
I don't know what I put onthere.
I'd be black that is amazing.
I love it.

Speaker 1 (01:14:37):
I'm going to definitely have to go follow you
on there.
Well, thank you so much forbeing here and sharing your
energy and just being with mefor, you know, the last hour and
having this conversation.
It's really been amazing.

Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
Yes, thank you for inviting me, of course.

Speaker 1 (01:14:51):
Of course.

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257. The Eldest Daughter's Guide to Entrepreneurial Freedom

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