This one goes deep into the awkward reality of desire, rejection and the unspoken rules we bring into sex. We talk about why one person usually does most of the initiating, why rejection stings even when it’s said kindly, and how mismatched sex drives don’t automatically mean there's a relationship crisis. We also unpack the myth that men want sex more than women, why shame still shapes our sex lives, and how connection outside the bedroom often decides what happens inside it.
We also get into performance pressure, asexuality, fantasies, the “acceptable amount of sex” nonsense, and all the ways society quietly tells you how your desire should work. It’s messy, honest and probably the most real conversation we’ve had on intimacy yet.
The Book Roula's mentions is called "Want" by Gillian Anderson.
What’s the conversation about sex or desire you think couples avoid the most?
TOPICS COVERED
- Why one person often initiates more
- Why rejection in the bedroom feels so personal
- Mismatched sex drives and what they really mean
- The myth that men always want sex more than women
- Shame, social conditioning and desire
- How connection outside the bedroom impacts intimacy
- Why performance pressure kills desire
- Asexuality and the desire spectrum
- Why “how often should you have sex” is a useless question
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