Not Gonna Be Able To Do It

Episode Transcript
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Anitra (00:00):
Hey, hey, beautiful people. How are we
doing? I am Anitra n Lawsonstoryteller, producer,
educator, content creator. Heis Dr . Andre Evans.

Andre (00:22):
What's going on? Savage

Anitra (00:23):
People? He is a brother. He's a father, he's a
writer. He's pest. I have tokeep thinking of the things
right . . And we arethe Savage siblings . This is
the Savage Sibling Podcastwhere we are brutally honest,
relentlessly transparent, andunapologetically authentic. So

(00:45):
glad you guys are here foranother episode. We always kick
it off with a check-in. So ,bro , bro , how you doing?
Checking in with you? Uh ,

Andre (00:52):
I am doing well. Uh, just , um, just kind of going
over conversation we hadearlier this week or late last
week. Can't remember. Mm-Hmm.

Anitra (01:03):
,

Andre (01:03):
Um, where we would just kind of talk about everything
we've got going on with S twomedia works and how things are
unfolding. But not just that,but then I was talking a lot
about just what's going on withmy men , my personal ministry.
Mm-Hmm . withchurch, just life. And we were
both kind of, kind ofreflecting on that. And, but in
, I remember in ourconversation it was like things
were , were feeling heavy, likethings were, you know, where's

(01:26):
the money coming from?

Anitra (01:28):
Mm-Hmm . . Where's the ,

Andre (01:29):
You know, all this stuff. All these things. And,
you know, one of the things I,I kind of realize in that
moment, or at least it feelslike in that moment, is like
that the , the weight ofpromise is, is oftentimes the
heaviest Mm-Hmm . When we are ,uh, we're closest to the
breakthrough of the promise,right? Yeah .

Anitra (01:46):
Yeah .

Andre (01:46):
Because you can see the stuff moving, but now the big
challenges are coming because Ireally do feel like a lot of
times when the magnitude ofwhat you're working towards
starts to get real, thenthere's also the magnitude of
the responsibility you have to, to , to see it through, to
its kind of success. So thingsstart breaking down, questions

(02:07):
start needing to be answered,

Anitra (02:09):
Emotions

Andre (02:09):
Start overflowing, like all these things. Right? But,
but here's the thing. You know,when you are answering those
questions, then those questionsno longer exist when the things
start breaking down and youclear out what's broken, and
you start to look to build upthings better, or you clear out
the emotions that are kind ofweighing you heavy, you know,

(02:33):
then you're, you're, you've gotspace. And I'm wondering
sometimes what if it's heaviestat that moment so God can get
you to clear out all thenegative thoughts and emotions
because he , he's making roomYeah.

Anitra (02:45):
For what

Andre (02:46):
The breakthroughs got to occupy.

Anitra (02:48):
Yeah.

Andre (02:49):
Uh , and I , I think some of the time , some of the
moments where it's hardest forus in life, I believe sometimes
it's this understanding that ,uh, you gotta clear out some
stuff to make room for what'scoming. Mm-Hmm .
, it reminds me of like, when a, uh, mother's about to give
birth and

Speaker 3 (03:09):
They

Andre (03:09):
Do what's called nesting.

Speaker 3 (03:11):
Yep .

Andre (03:11):
Yep . . And you start, you start getting rid of
stuff, and then you startputting stuff in, and the stuff
you got rid of, you're gettingrid of it because it doesn't
speak to the life of whatyou're about to bring to the
future. Yeah .

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Mm-Hmm .

Andre (03:25):
to the future. Right? So you start
bringing in stuff Mm-Hmm .

Speaker 3 (03:28):

Andre (03:28):
That's suited directly for the future. Yeah . So,

Speaker 3 (03:31):
So

Andre (03:31):
That's, so I think there's sometimes where we
definitely go through thismental, this emotional nesting.

Speaker 3 (03:37):
Yeah.

Andre (03:37):
And that's oftentimes an indicator that we're closest to
our breakthrough, our , ourwhatever it is, our passion
coming to fruition. Yeah . Uh ,we're closest to, you know,
whatever has been revealed inour spirit, revealed in our
hopes and dreams about tobecome our reality. We , we
start that nesting

Speaker 3 (03:57):
Mm-Hmm . Process.

Andre (03:58):
Mm-Hmm . So I feel like that's what I've been doing
past week and a half is, isjust that proverbial nesting.
Yeah .

Speaker 3 (04:04):
Where

Andre (04:04):
I'm like, all right , I , I gotta be laser focused
because I don't need anythingdistracting me. Yeah .

Speaker 3 (04:10):
Uh ,

Andre (04:10):
You know what I mean? I gotta, I wanna stay in my lane.
Mm-Hmm.

Speaker 3 (04:13):
.
Mm-Hmm .

Andre (04:14):
. Because what I don't need is someone
causing me to exit before myexit. Right. Yeah. That's good
. So so's So I'm just doing,I'm doing so much right now of
being so focused on exactlywhat it is I know I'm supposed
to be doing because that's good. It's moving. Opportunities
are being taken.

Speaker 3 (04:32):
That's

Andre (04:32):
Good. Uh , chances are being taken. Risks

Speaker 3 (04:33):
Are being

Andre (04:34):
Taken.

Speaker 3 (04:35):
Yeah.

Andre (04:35):
And , and so I have got to be laser focused right now.
Mm-Hmm.

Speaker 3 (04:39):
.

Andre (04:39):
Because just the slightest distraction makes the
risk not worth it. That's good. The opportunity fail. And so
I'm just, I'm doing my best tofocus. And I do believe then
for me , uh, because, you know,I'm, I'm a person of faith. For
me, it's God saying, no ,you're , you're going through
this because you're making roomfor the breakthrough.

Speaker 3 (04:59):
Mm-Hmm.
, you're

Andre (05:00):
Making, you're making room.

Speaker 3 (05:01):
It's greater.

Andre (05:02):
Yeah . One of the hardest things to do is to
press through the difficulty,because destinies coming
through the hardship

Speaker 3 (05:08):
Of the

Andre (05:09):
Pressing

Speaker 3 (05:09):
Destiny

Andre (05:09):
Doesn't come when things are easy.

Speaker 3 (05:11):
Nope.

Andre (05:12):
destiny comes through the pressing of the
hardship.

Speaker 3 (05:15):
Mm-Hmm .

Andre (05:16):
Not the ease. Nothing comes,

Speaker 3 (05:18):
Nothing

Andre (05:19):
Good, comes nothing .
That's easy. And , and Irealized I was talking about
destiny, but like, nothingcomes good. That's easy.
nothing. Money thatcomes easy ain't good for you.
Women that come that are easyain't good for you. Men that
are good for you, ain't thatare easy. Rather , men that are
easy ain't good for you.

(05:40):
Nothing that comes easy. It'snecessarily good for you.
There's a difference I foundthen between favor and easy.

Speaker 3 (05:49):
Because , you

Andre (05:49):
Know , there's a whole lot of folk walking around
talking about , oh man , thatteaching , that was easy. No .
Okay . Right . , thatwas favor. That's why you got
that. That's

Anitra (05:59):
Why you still standing

Andre (06:01):
. That's why you still Right . That's how you
made it through unscathed. Thatwasn't easy. You had the favor
of the Lord upon you. Um ,'cause yeah, there's , there's
a difference between easy andand favor. But that's, that's
me. Right . That's what I'm ,that's what's been for me
because of that . That's ,that's final statement. I'll
say . I always want to bothidentify Mm-Hmm .

Anitra (06:21):

Andre (06:21):
And take on the favor. I never want to identify and take
on the easy. Nope . Becausethere's a reason why it was
easy. . So , so anyway, that's,

Anitra (06:31):
That's maturity.

Andre (06:33):
Right, right. Right. I'm not going to tell you how I
learned that. Right . That'snot this episode. ,
that's not this episode. That'sthe episode of, Ooh , I wish I
never had . If I neverhad ever. That's that episode
. So anyways , that'swhat's going on with , right .
That's the Carl Thomas episode , so ,

Anitra (06:56):
Oh God. Yeah . That's so funny.

Andre (06:59):
Sounds like what's been going on.

Anitra (07:00):
It sounds like we've had similar weeks . Um
, I think for me, I was, Ilabeled this week as a shots
fired week. Oh . Where ? Yeah.
But in a good thing, God isalways in the midst . But , um,
with that whole shots fire ,where it felt like there's a
lot of things have been comingat me, every time I would hear
God say, wait, like, wait,wait. Just keep waiting. Mm-Hmm

(07:21):
. . Mm-Hmm .
. And I'd belike, ah . But , um, I don't
know . Have you ever seen those, um, those war movies where
they have to get behind thebarricade or the dugout? Oh,
yeah . You know, and Mm-Hmm .
what they learnedto do, bro, bro, is wait until
the , the other, you know , theenemy empties their rounds and
then you shoot . Right.
I said, I said, Lord, there's areason why I don't, you didn't

(07:41):
ever send me to real war. Isaid, 'cause I probably end up
killing everybody, my , my sideand their side. 'cause I don't
know how to wait. I'm gonnajust be like, like everybody's
getting these bullets. And sothis whole week has been guys
saying, wait, now go. Mm-Hmm .
. Wait, nowshoot. . Right . Wait.
Mm-Hmm . now run.
Mm-Hmm . . Right. If it's up to me, I'm

(08:02):
probably gonna be down in thefirst two minutes 'cause I'm
just out there letting it go.
So it's, it's been aninteresting week. I've had to
learn the art of duck andcover, but , uh, what I love
about God is he's just beenlike, wait, I'm gonna tell you
what to do. And so even thoughsome of it has been unpleasant
or uncomfortable , um, when Isurrender to that waiting and,
and knowing when to move basedon what he says, that it works
out. So, sounds like we've beenin similar places, but I've

(08:25):
been trying to shoot 'em all .
I've been trying to take 'emout . He's like, wait,

Andre (08:29):
Is that

Anitra (08:29):
Right ? They're reloading Do it.

Andre (08:30):
Now. North scenario , um, reminds me of that scene in
Harlem Nights where I'm sittingho and his boys are shooting at
Eddie , I'm gonna killyou quick . And they all
shooting in that one littledude with that little gun . Pow
, pow helps it again . But see,if you don't wait, you'd have
got clipped by the little powpow . Like , you gotta wait,

(08:51):
you gotta wait until they allrun outta ammo. But you're so
right. You're so right becauseyou know, you know that shots
fired scenario. Absolutely.
Because, you know, what I havefound in that type of situation
or that type of scenario is, isoftentimes when I wait and, and

(09:12):
I just make sure I deal withall of the adversity, deal with
all the questions, deal withthe I wait . Then what I've
actually found is if I don'tmove until all the questions
are asked, Mm-Hmm .
, if I don't moveuntil all the, the issues , uh,
are , are out, then I realizethat then once I start to
handle them, all the adversityain't got nothing left.

Anitra (09:34):
Yeah . So good. Does that make sense? Me Worn

Andre (09:36):
Ain't left .

Anitra (09:36):
Mm-Hmm . you still got energy to fight .
Right ?

Andre (09:38):
Exactly. Exactly. It's , it's so, so for you, it's the
shots fired for me, it's therope dope . Where Muhammad
Ali's just letting GeorgeForeman wa on him

Anitra (09:47):
Just

Andre (09:47):
Weigh , you know ?

Anitra (09:48):
But

Andre (09:48):
He , and then he starts talking. You got more, you got
,

Anitra (09:52):
You wearing them down

Andre (09:53):
, and then you're too tired . I love it .
I love it when Adversity's tootired to fight me anymore. Yes
. That anointing and favortakeover. And

Anitra (10:00):
I'm like, okay,

Andre (10:01):
I took your best shot.

Anitra (10:03):
Yep .

Andre (10:03):
I took your best shot.

Anitra (10:04):
Yep .

Andre (10:05):
Um , so yeah. Yeah. I

Anitra (10:06):
Love that.

Andre (10:07):
I get it. I get it .

Anitra (10:08):
I love that. All right , well, we're gonna jump into
our sound off segment. Soundoff segment. Sound off . I'll
kick it to you, bro. Bro.

Andre (10:20):
No doubt. So this episode, we're entitling not
going to be able to do it . Uh, yeah. Yeah. Because what
we're looking at is, is what'sthe benefit of working hard
versus what's why is easy soappealing.

Anitra (10:36):
Yeah.

Andre (10:37):
So sometimes when we look at the hard things, we
say, I'm not gonna be able todo it. But I've learned that
when I look at the easy thingsMm-Hmm.

Anitra (10:44):
,

Andre (10:44):
I'm not gonna be able to do it.

Anitra (10:46):
Mm-Hmm. .
And ,

Andre (10:47):
And so yeah. That's why the title of this particular
episode is not going to be ableto do it. And , and we, we , we
start the, the un the thenotion , you know, the
, one of the reasons why wecall the Savage siblings is
there, there's this learningprocess of doing things the
easy way versus the hard way.
Or what I might even say theeasy way versus the right way.

(11:09):
, that

Anitra (11:09):
You keep growing up,

Andre (11:11):
Growing up with the sibling. Mm-Hmm .
and the household. And, andyour , your first lesson there
is, is your , your , you haveto , uh, you have to join in,
in the share of the workload ofthe family, keeping the, the
house. And you find reallythat, well, at least from a a
child's perspective, thechildren are the slave
laborers. The parents don't doanything .

Anitra (11:32):
They

Andre (11:32):
Just leave the house at nine and come back at six or
seven. Yeah . While we gotta doeverything else, , we
gotta do everything. But Ihouse ,

Anitra (11:38):
That's why I had you .

Andre (11:39):
Right . , if you do , the amount of times I have
said to Cory Corin , Hey , uh,I had you for this reason.
Right ? Hey , and really to get, give you the remote. Yes. Yes
. Pour you some water. Yes.
. Yes, yes. I had youfor this reason. Right?
Absolutely. And, and I know forthem , I know what it feels
like for them, but I'm ,

Speaker 4 (12:00):
Yes. We've been

Andre (12:01):
There, I'm teaching them life lessons, clearly ,

Speaker 4 (12:03):
I'm

Andre (12:03):
Teaching them life lessons. A hundred percent .
That's what I'm teaching them .
. So, so I know, but asa kid, it feels like, like
forced participation, right?

Speaker 4 (12:12):
Yeah.

Andre (12:12):
Because, you know, the parents are told, you know, or
they have this notion that it'simportant to instill, you know
, these values and this workethic and all this in their
children. And, and , and so itstarts with chores. Like, I
need you to do these chores.
And as a child, you're like, Idon't understand. You've been
doing this all your life beforeyou had me. Like, why? I don't

(12:34):
understand, why am I doing itall now? Right ? But the , the
issue here, and this is wherewe get up, where , this is why
I say, you know, this is wherewe learn whether to do things
easy or to do things right, butwe'll say easy or hard. Right .

Speaker 4 (12:49):
But

Andre (12:50):
To be hard is the right way to do it.

Speaker 4 (12:51):
Right.

Andre (12:52):
Because the parent says, do the chores. But I'm gonna
tell you , I'm , I'm , I'mbeing be honest here. My dad
said, I , your job, Andre, isto take out the trash. Mm-Hmm.

Speaker 4 (13:04):
.
Mm-Hmm . . Now,

Andre (13:05):
There's two parts to this that I wanna talk about.
. First part is, is he,he said, you going to take out
the trash. And then he nevergave me a modeling example,
right? .

Speaker 4 (13:17):
Right.

Andre (13:18):
I've never seen my dad take out the trash. Not once.
Right? He simply said, your jobis to take out trash.

Speaker 4 (13:27):
Right ?

Andre (13:28):
Okay. Didn't teach me the steps to take it out. The
trash just said take out trash.
So right there now I've got isthis example where I could say,
okay, there's an easy way andthere's a hard way. Now the
easy way in my mind is let itpile up and wait till mom and
dad say something.

Speaker 4 (13:49):
Right? That's

Andre (13:50):
The easy way in my mind, because I don't want to do it.
But that ends up being thewrong way. Mm-Hmm .
. Because my dadwould say, why'd you let this
trash pile up ? See, atthat moment then it's no longer
easy because it didn't matterwhat I was doing, I had better
stop and take that trash

Speaker 4 (14:11):
Out. Yep .

Andre (14:13):
What I perceived as the hard way, which is actually the
right way, was, is listen,don't let it overflow when it's
ready to be tied up, when youhave a break in what you're
doing.

Speaker 4 (14:25):
Mm .

Andre (14:25):
Like you finna go outside and play. Just take the
trash out. I perceive that asthe hard way. Right.

Speaker 4 (14:32):
When

Andre (14:32):
It actually, it's the right way. And it's the way
that didn't get got , get mybutt beat. It's the way that
didn't get me popped across thehead. It's the way that didn't
get me having to explain to myfriends why I can't come
outside, Andre, come out hereand tell your friends why you
can't come outside, y'all. Ican't come outside. 'cause I
didn't take out the trash trash. Now they're looking at me

(14:53):
like, why didn't you take outthe trash? We would've took it
out for you , . Wecan't play football and, and we
can't get, we can't play thisgame in the backyard that's
going to put us in theemergency room. 'cause you
didn't take out the trash. Andso it's like, so you just made
life difficult, trying to dothings the easy way. That's the

(15:14):
first thing it taught me. Buthere's the other thing. Dad
wasn't just teaching me work todo chores, rather, he was
teaching me an ethic in life.

Anitra (15:25):
Yes , exactly

Andre (15:25):
Right. The ethic in life was, is you gotta take care of
what you're blessed with.
Rightly. You gotta take care ofthe opportunities that you get
that are blessing. You can'tjust let trash pile up because
it devalues, it takes away fromthe value. It takes away from
the credibility of

Anitra (15:46):
The

Andre (15:46):
Blessing.

Anitra (15:47):
Yes .

Andre (15:47):
So, an ethic has to say, take care of what you're
blessed with. The, the hard orthe right way would've been to
do it the easy way that Ithought was, well, how come
Nikki can't take out

Anitra (16:00):
The

Andre (16:00):
Trash? Right . .
Right . So the first one is, isI let the trash pile up. Wait
till mom or dad say something.
I thought that was easy. Nowthe next one is, is well, why
can't Nikki do it?

Anitra (16:13):
Right?

Andre (16:14):
She's here. And, and that also end up being the
wrong thing. Mm-Hmm.

Anitra (16:19):
. Because

Andre (16:19):
Now dad is saying, no, Nikki has different chores.

Anitra (16:23):
Yes.

Andre (16:24):
Don't you question me again. So it's not that she's
not pulling her weight, shejust has a different weight to
pull. Now the problem with thesecond one is, is Dad didn't
explain it too well. Right.
dad was Dad, I saidsomething , I Right .
Dad was like, because I saidso, but No, no, no, no. Lemme

(16:45):
tell you what dad said to me, what dad said to me.
And this is here where you getthe second opportunity to do
things the easy way or the hardway, depending on how you take
the message that's given to youin the moment. Right ?

Anitra (16:56):
Mm-Hmm .

Andre (16:56):
Dad says, Nikki has other chores. Right? I need you
to take out the trash. Watchthis. What dad said to me one
time, he said, because I don'tever want Nikki to be out there
by herself where something canhappen to her

Anitra (17:11):
Right

Andre (17:12):
Now. Me, my dumbing self . Okay, cool. No problem. Wait
a minute. But it's okay for meto be out there by myself .
Wait a minute. So something canhappen. Wait a minute, wait a
minute. So there's a danger intaking out the trash that
you're okay if I Listen,listen, he turned into Abraham

(17:32):
in the Bible. So I'm

Anitra (17:34):
The sacrifice. Yes .

Andre (17:34):
I'm the sacrifice. So , so there's no ram . I could not
, I'm okay. Right there. Wasthere Better not be a ram in
the trash can . That's a wholenother issue. Like, wait a
minute, it's okay that, that,that, that I'm putting myself
in danger.

Speaker 3 (17:50):
Right ?

Andre (17:50):
. But, but what that is also suggest, what that
also taught me then is, is theeasy route sometimes that we
take, is because we think thatwe can get through unscathed
and it's

Speaker 3 (18:01):
Going to be okay.

Andre (18:02):
Mm-Hmm.

Speaker 3 (18:02):
.

Andre (18:03):
But that doesn't mean it's the right choice. Yes.
Sometimes the hard decisionmeans that you put yourself at
risk.

Speaker 3 (18:11):
Right . .

Andre (18:11):
But that doesn't mean it's the wrong decision. Right.
So, so, so, so when we arelooking at, you know, what's
the appeal of easy? Sometimes,you know, the , uh, the appeal
of easy. We feel like it'ssafe. Mm-Hmm . we
feel like, you know, it's lesswork. We feel like Mm-Hmm . You

(18:33):
know, all of these things that,that very well may be true, but
that doesn't make it the rightdecision. Yeah . It doesn't
build ethic. It doesn't buildvalue. Yeah .

Speaker 3 (18:42):
And

Andre (18:42):
The choice you're making. And so sometimes then
making the hard choice , um, isactually better because it's
the right choice. There's morevalue in it, there's more
longevity, there's moreendurance. There's definitely
more , uh, more ethic. Mm-Hmm .

Speaker 3 (18:58):
. Um , and ,

Andre (18:58):
And it's, and it's again, it's, it's, you know,
somewhere along those lines, Ihad to look at the shortcuts in
my ethic and say, no, no moreeasy stops.

Speaker 3 (19:09):
No more ,

Andre (19:09):
No more shortcuts.
Mm-Hmm .

Speaker 3 (19:10):
.
Mm-Hmm. .

Andre (19:10):
Right. And so what I actually was defining as hard
is actually , uh, a desire thatI had to avoid the sacrifice it
takes for greatness.

Speaker 3 (19:21):
Wow. Right.

Andre (19:21):
Mm-Hmm.

Speaker 3 (19:22):
,

Andre (19:22):
Anything worth having is worth working for. Yes.

Speaker 3 (19:24):
Yes. You

Andre (19:25):
Don't have to make sacrifice in getting, I
remember there was a time where, um, I spent all day , uh,
playing outside. 'cause y'allyoung people, there was a time
that's

Speaker 3 (19:37):
What we did in our lives

Andre (19:38):
Where we had to venture into this very scary
environment called the outside.
Right. . And , and youhave to be in this place

Speaker 3 (19:45):
Called fresh air

Andre (19:45):
The outside until this, this, this phenomenon, this
electrical phenomenon calledstreetlights. Right. ,
you , you didn't come back homeuntil this electrical
phenomenon called streetlightscame on . Right . And then you,
you'd come back

Speaker 3 (19:59):
And you ran

Andre (20:00):
From this, this, this, this, this, this, this, you
know, outlandish this, youknow, this roughing it
adventure called outside, you'dcome back in. And so one, one
Sunday night when theelectrical phenomenon called
street lights came on, I camein from this, this mystical
place called outside from doingthis thing, this, this activity

(20:21):
we call playing with ourfriends. Right. In the outside
in the flesh. in theflesh. Right. Right . Not
virtual. Right. . Right. Not virtual. We didn't put
anything over our eyes and holdthese controllers in , in hair
. No , no . We , we , we putactual things in our hand ,
like a basketball. Right . Afootball . Like we put

(20:43):
a stick , a stick rocks. Right? Right . And so after coming
from this adventure calledoutside with the electrical
phenomenon of the streetlightscoming on, on a late Sunday
night, I remembered I hadhomework.

Anitra (21:00):
Ooh . Oh lord, that's gonna be true .

Andre (21:02):
And my dad found out I had homework, .

Anitra (21:05):
Oh lord. That's the worst.

Andre (21:07):
I wanted to take the easy way out and be like, well,
I'll just do it, you know, inclass. I'll get to class five
minutes early. Do it real quickand turn it in. Yes. Uh ,

Anitra (21:17):
Mm-Hmm.

Andre (21:18):
And , and , and , and , and ,

Anitra (21:20):
Yes .

Andre (21:21):
And Uhhuh . And so what , what what I was trying to
avoid and taking the quoteunquote easy way out Mm-Hmm .
was avoidsacrificing my sleep. Or , uh,
you know, you know ,sacrificing the great my
playtime. Right? Mm-Hmm .
. That's what Iwas trying to avoid. And I was,
I was, I was . And , and so Iwas looking for a quick

(21:41):
resolve. That's what I wanted .

Anitra (21:44):
Mm-Hmm . .

Andre (21:44):
Right . But , uh, I , I , because I know I need to do
the homework, but I shouldn'thave to work hard to get it
done. Yeah . I know I want agood grade, but I shouldn't
have to work hard to get itdone. Yeah . And my dad asked a
question, I , I wish thequestion was, well, why
wouldn't you wanna work hard?
Why don't you wanna work hard?
That's , that's not, that's notthe question he asked.

Anitra (22:06):
Right.

Andre (22:06):
He asked a different question that implied the same
thing.

Anitra (22:09):
Right.

Andre (22:10):
. And , and , and I don't even know if it was
a question, but it seemed likea question. But what he said to
me was, is I wish you would goto bed. Right. . Now,
to me it seemed like aquestion. 'cause it felt like
he was giving me a choice.

Anitra (22:24):
Right.

Andre (22:25):
Easy or hard.

Anitra (22:27):
It was not easy

Andre (22:28):
Or hard. It , it was, it's like, you know, I dare you
to go to bed. Let me see whatyou're going to do. Mm-Hmm .

Anitra (22:35):
,

Andre (22:36):
Let me , let me see what you're gonna do. ,
right? Mm-Hmm . ,because for dad, taking the
easy way out meant a lowergrade meant I'd just be
average. And in a day and atime where I have to work twice
as hard.

Anitra (22:48):
Right.

Andre (22:49):
To be, to be , uh, to be looked at as average. Right.

Anitra (22:53):
Dad

Andre (22:54):
Was like, no, you're not, you're not getting ready
to take the easy way out

Anitra (22:58):
Because Yeah . Better than that,

Andre (22:59):
The world will see your ethic and give you a below
average rating, and they'regoing to treat you below
average. Yeah . So, no, I wishyou would go to bed.

Anitra (23:08):
That's ,

Andre (23:09):
And and here's the thing. That lesson is something
I carry with me today. Andthere are times Mm-Hmm .
where I know Ineed to do something for work,
for ministry, but I wanna go tobed 'cause I'm tired. Um , the
day has been full for me. And Iliterally will say to myself

(23:33):
and my dad's voice, I wish youwould go to bed.

Anitra (23:36):
Ooh , you teaching me.
I need that right now.

Andre (23:38):
I wish you would go to bed.

Anitra (23:39):
Ooh , that's good.

Andre (23:40):
Because the bottom line is this, if I take the easy
route, go to bed, then I knowthe quality of what I'm gonna
produce. If I made that choice,

Anitra (23:50):
That's so good. Ooh .
That's a good one.

Andre (23:52):
But if I'm willing to sacrifice, easy to do what's
hard, but Right. I also knowthe quality of the results when
I do things that way. That's

Anitra (24:02):
So good.

Andre (24:02):
And they're just two different Absolutely. Two
different qualities. So, so, so , um, I'm a I'm gonna
kick it to you for just asecond. Yeah . What did, for
you, where does this kind ofethic , uh, find its foundation
, uh, for you? Yeah . What , asfar, what are , what was your
formative , uh, foundationalmoment when it came to, to

(24:25):
ethics?

Anitra (24:26):
Yeah. I love it when unpacking the, the appeal of
easy. And I was , uh, I lovehearing your perspective.
'cause you know, we think aboutit for the sound off segment
from the perspective ofsiblings and I, it makes sense
to me now just even processingit. 'cause mine was very
different. Like when I thinkabout chores, you know, any kid
growing up, you're like, Idon't wanna do chores. I don't

(24:48):
like it. Um, there's so manymore fun things as you so
beautifully laid out that wecould be doing when we're
children. But I, as the youngersibling, never felt like a
forced participant. Of course,we knew we had to do it. Right
. You know, our , our mom hadthe rubric and the chart and
the thing posted in the kitchenof which days color
coordinated. Right . So who wasdoing dishes when, who was

(25:09):
taking out the trash? So it wasjust ingrained in our
experience. But in terms of ,uh, feeling forced, I remember
not feeling that way. 'cause Icould look and see everybody,
you know, was doing it. Mom hadher bit. Right . You had your
bit , you know , I had mine.
Even though dad didn't dochores, I understood he was the
provider. He took care of theother things , uh, that at the
time you don't understand tillyou become an adult. And so I

(25:31):
kept thinking, man, where doesthis foundation for the appeal
of easy come when I'm lookingat, you know, come from when
I'm looking at my relationshipwith my sibling or my family.
Right?

Andre (25:42):
Right .

Anitra (25:42):
And I started processing it, bro, bro. And I
said , let me unpack this thingso I can really see what it is.
'cause when you're the oldersibling, and, and I think
you've pointed this out, butI'd love to hear from other
folks. 'cause I was theyounger, everything you do
growing up when you haveyounger siblings for you, is
about accountability. It'sabout responsibility. So there
is this kind of, you know,pressure or force participation

(26:04):
because like you already laidout, it's not just that I have
to take out the trash. There'sa why that it has to be me.
That has to do with thehierarchy of the, you know, you
in the birth order of theoldest sibling. And I bet , uh,
many older siblings feel thatway. But when I was kind of
thinking, okay, well where doesthis appeal to easy come from
for me, as a younger sibling, Iwas thinking about this notion
of , okay, well we think abouteasy as, you know, you can

(26:26):
achieve something without greateffort. Right. Or , uh,
whatever you're going fordoesn't present many
difficulties. Or there are fewdifficulties. Right. Or the ,
the circumstances free fromworry or problems. And I'm
thinking about my situationwith you. And I said, so when I
think about easy, Andre did notmake my life easier at all.

(26:48):
. So for me, it wasn'tour family or the chores or the
rules. It was you .
Right? It was no, everythingthat Andre does, it is with
great effort. And we've talkedabout it in the past podcast
episodes, where if it wasfriends stopping by to see me,
you , you slamming the door intheir face. If it was who's
going to get to use the phone?

(27:08):
Your first dibs on that no ourssituation presented lots of
difficulties with you. Right.
. So you were theproblem, you were the worry.
And when, when I thought aboutit, and I kept trying to figure
out, well , why was that, orwhy as a younger sibling, and
I'm, I'm telling you, I betmany younger siblings feel this
way. For us, it's not theforced participation. It's that

(27:30):
everything is now trackedthrough the hierarchy of the
birth order. Right . And so thelevel of ease in our life is
based on what you do or do notdo right or wrong. I mean,
think about it, youngersiblings, how many time do you
have to go to bed because yourolder sibling did something and
parents got mad at the wholelot . The whole bloodline in
trouble. Now the wholebloodline in trouble. Right ?
Right . And it's because ofwhat you did. I'm like, I

(27:51):
wasn't watching that. Iwouldn't saying that I didn't
do that. No , but your brotherdidn't go to bed too. Right?
And so I , um, for me, theappeal of Easy was anti Andre.
Right? Easy is anti Dre . Right ? Easy and growing up
for me is, you know, how can Iget away from it? I remember
thinking when our parents wouldbe gone, and Andre was the

(28:12):
older sibling, so he had to beresponsible for making sure
that, you know, we ate. And Iwould come after like several
hours of being patient, say,Andre, I'm hungry. .
Right ? And he'd be like, allright . Continue playing video
games or whatever he is doing.
Right? Right. I remember that.
So eating means I get to eatwhen he feels like cooking.
Right? So there's no ease inthat. Right? It's easy for you

(28:34):
at , because it's , it's whenAndre's hungry, then the whole
family is hungry and the wholefamily can eat. Right.
, I , you know, I could have aschool project like, Andre,
will you help me do this? Orhave to move a chair? Just need
to do anything. And it wasn'tthat I needed it right then for
him, it was when he felt likedoing it. Right. So I think
what happens when you're thegood time , see, when you're

(28:54):
the younger sibling, you mightleave the home, you know, with
a value or a more of an appealtoward ease because your
upbringing hadn't been easy.
life ain't been nocrystal stairs , , no
crystals. So , so you, youchoosing partners and
friendships that are what,based on ease, right? If I
asked for it, you gonna do itright now? Cool. You work , uh,

(29:15):
if I asked you to pay for this,you're gonna take care of your
half right now. Cool. You work,right , , you're not
even trying your value and yourstandards have diminished
because you've been spendingthe last, you know, 18 years
underneath the shadow of yourolder siblings who they've
clearly established the , theebb and flow of the home. But
what I realize in hearing yourstory is that's because you

(29:36):
guys often have not even often,you know , have the pressure
and the responsibility and theaccountability. 'cause the ,
the flip side of that, and thenI'll, I'll kick it back to you
before we get to oursponsorship. But , um, you
know, the flip side of that isthat responsibility and that
pressure also can equal yougetting your butt whooped.
Like, so if Nikki , if Nikkibroke the plate, you know, the
parents come home and say, whathappened? There's a broken

(29:58):
plate, what happened? Now itcould be wholeheartedly Nikki's
fault. I dropped it. Right ? Idropped kicked it. I Frisbee
that joker like, it don'tmatter what happened. I
guarantee you they gonna say,what were you doing, Andre? Yep
. When she had that plate inher hand, you could be like,
she was playing Frisbee withit. She decided to actually
take a BB gun and shoot it.

(30:19):
Everything that she did waswrong. Right . But because
you're the elder, theaccountability, the
responsibility you gonna get atalking to or probably in
trouble as well as me.

Andre (30:29):
Absolutely.

Anitra (30:29):
Um, because of that too. And so I can understand
how that pressure, that forcedparticipation, it does start to
dis assign a value to, to howwe look at ease and what we
want for ease. Because nowafter 18 years, and think about
it, everything, when you leaveyour parents' home, you can't
wait to what change yourcircumstances. You can't wait
to, you know , what you thinkis wise, do some things

(30:52):
differently. And of course, welearned what have , as you've
already laid out, that the hardchoice is often the right
choice. But yeah, we're seekingease. We're seeking

Andre (31:00):
Yeah.

Anitra (31:00):
Achievements without great effort. , we're
seeking, you know,presentations of life
circumstances Mm-Hmm .
with fewdifficulties. We're seeking
life free from worries andproblems, which is the
definition of easy. Especiallyafter you've had some siblings
to kind of Mm-Hmm . Put youalong the way. So I'll, I'll
kick it back to you, but no, Iwas ready for anything that
didn't look like you. .

Andre (31:22):
I love it. See , see , to me, that's, that's the
greater impact of the choice.
Whether it's , uh, uh, givinginto the appeal of ease or
whether it's fighting thedifficulty of hardship. The ,
the , the impact is alwaysgoing to be greater than you.
Yeah . Uh , it's , it's , andso you cannot see it as an

(31:42):
isolative moment. Right .

Anitra (31:43):
You can't

Andre (31:44):
See it as something, you're not an island. Right.
Right . You can't, you cannotsee it that way. Nope . So,
right. So you, you definitelygotta be able to , um,
recognize that, yeah, I mightmake the easy decision, but my
easy decision absolutely willimpact. Because it's, it's kind
of what you described .

(32:05):
Um , so, you know, if I, if ifme taking the easy route out,
which made your life hard,right ? , now you
become ready for anything.
Right ? That don't mean that'sthe right one. . Right
. You just ain't like him.
. So that's all thatmatters. You just ain't like
him. so and so, and soyou, you also gotta know that
there's a legacy in your ethic.

(32:26):
Mm . Yeah.

Anitra (32:27):
Yeah.

Andre (32:27):
And, and there's a reach to your ethic that , um, you
know, yeah. The appeal might beeasy, but, you know, easy
doesn't reach far. In fact, itreaches, it reaches the wrong
way. , it reaches thewrong direction.

Anitra (32:41):
It's very limiting.
Yeah.

Andre (32:43):
It , it is very limiting. It can't reach far.
And it , and , and therefore itreaches for what, what's that
term? Low hanging fruit. Lowhanging fruit, .
Listen, everybody, everybodydone , done touched and been on
the low hanging fruit,

Anitra (32:57):
You know, get to

Andre (32:58):
That good

Anitra (32:59):
Good stuff up , up top.
That's not

Andre (33:01):
Absolutely. Absolutely.
Absolutely.

Anitra (33:04):
I love that song . All right . Well, let's shout out
our sponsorship for thisepisode, which is none other
than S two MediaWorks, a mediaproduction company co-founded
by my brother and I. And thatcompany is dedicated to
creating content that educates,inspires, empowers, and
encourages positive influencein living. And we do that
through creative and originalnarratives. Our mission at S

(33:26):
two MediaWorks is to providetransformational education and
resources for healthy andproductive living. And we love
telling stories. You guys we'rededicated to creating
life-changing and life givingcontent and all that we do. And
this podcast, the SavageSibling Podcast, is a lineup in
our slate. We've got bookscoming , we've got docuseries

(33:47):
come in . And so we can't waitto continue to share all the
work , uh, that we're doing andthat we're producing behind the
scenes. And as always, thankyou for listening to this
podcast. Thank you for rockingwith us. Glad you're here.

Andre (33:57):
Absolutely.

Anitra (33:58):
All right , bro. Bro , you ready to get savage?

Andre (34:04):
Absolutely. Let's go ahead and get savage. Uh , so
again, the name of this episodeis not going to be able to do
it . Nope. And it's gonna makesense as we get through this.
But first , uh, we're , 'causewe're talking about , uh, the
appeal of easy Mm-Hmm.

Anitra (34:19):

Andre (34:20):
Versus looking at the difficulty that comes with
doing things the hard way. Yeah. Not

Anitra (34:25):
Necessarily

Andre (34:26):
The wrong way. Right. Um , 'cause oftentimes the hard
way is the right way. Yeah .
'cause

Anitra (34:31):
It

Andre (34:31):
Just takes more effort.
Yep . Um , but the questionthat we have to answer first is
why is easy appealing Mm-Hmm .

Anitra (34:38):
to

Andre (34:38):
Begin with? Like, why is, why are we more attracted
to doing things easy? And I , II believe that , you know,
there's , um, in , in the fieldof psychology, one of the
things we learned about wasthis term called cognitive
dissonance.

Anitra (34:54):
Mm-Hmm .

Andre (34:54):
. And , um, this is such a profound
word. We've heard it a lotlately.

Anitra (34:58):
Right . Right .

Andre (34:58):
In the political realm.
And basically what it is, isit's this detachment from
reality. Mm-Hmm.

Anitra (35:05):
. And

Andre (35:05):
I think a lot of times easy is appealing because it
detaches us from our reality.
That's good . That's sometimesI do things the easy way
because the reality is, is I amweak in an area and I don't
want to have to make myselfstrong. Mm-Hmm.

Anitra (35:20):

Andre (35:20):
I'm afraid of an area and I don't want to have to
deal with the fear. And sosometimes what the hard way
ends up meaning, or usuallymeans is that something is
being stretched

Anitra (35:31):
Or

Andre (35:31):
Something's being transformed. Mm-Hmm.

Anitra (35:33):
. Mm-Hmm.
.

Andre (35:34):
And so I go back to that whole taking out the trash.
Taking out the trash as a kidis harder than taking out the
trash. As an adult . As anadult.

Anitra (35:42):
Yes. Yes .

Andre (35:42):
And it's not because I'm stronger. Right. It's not
because I can fight off the ,the raccoons in the trashcan.
. Not that I can fightoff the , the death defying
feet of taking out trash thatmy dad implanted in me at good
kid . No. Take it out .
The trash as an adult iseasier. Why? Because I don't
need somebody coming over to myhouse and saying, you live like

(36:03):
a slob.

Anitra (36:04):
That part,

Andre (36:05):
I don't want live like a slob. Like, I don't want to
come in and smell sour come . Idon't wanna come in and smell
garbage. That

Anitra (36:13):
Part,

Andre (36:13):
I don't want, want my life to have this attachment
that suggests I don't know howto take care of myself. Right.

Anitra (36:22):
That's

Andre (36:22):
Good . So absolutely.
Take it. I will take out thetrash and it ain't even halfway
full . All I gotta do is throwsomething in there that I don't
wanna smell an out from . Nowjust to come on , I'll bag,
matter of fact, if I'm tell thetruth Right, I'll put in a
brand new bag.

Anitra (36:37):
Yes.

Andre (36:37):
Throw away one item that I know will spoil if I don't
take it out. Yes . And thensearch my house to fill the bag
with other stuff.

Anitra (36:47):
Come on and

Andre (36:47):
Take it out. Now, I ain't doing that as a kid.
. No . As a kid.
, my mom done threwleftovers in there. It'll sit
for a week. Come on on . If thetrash don't reach the top of
the can, I ain't taking it out.
Nope . Nope . But as an adult,let me put an eggshell in
there. Oh yeah . . It'sat the bottom. Oh , it's around
. It's around . I would, I will put, I will put the

(37:11):
packaging of fish.

Anitra (37:13):
Right .

Andre (37:14):
Come on and take it out

Anitra (37:15):
Immediately.
Immediately. Come onimmediately . Extra steps.

Andre (37:18):
Right. So that's so, so as an adult, what I'm saying
is, is my reality is such thatI'm not trying to be a slaw .
Yeah.

Anitra (37:26):
Yeah.

Andre (37:27):
I want to know that I, I have more ethic in life, more
value in life than the , toallow myself to get to a point
where I can look and smell andsee and be like, oh, no,
. Right . That stinks.

Anitra (37:40):
That's ugly living like that ,

Andre (37:41):
That's

Anitra (37:42):
Garbage.

Andre (37:43):
So I've gotta be able to, as an adult, simply be able
to say, no, no, no. I've, I'vematured. I've grown. Because
what I'm saying is, as anadult, it's a lifestyle. Mm-Hmm
. . It's not achore anymore. Right. Yeah.

Anitra (37:55):
Yeah.

Andre (37:55):
Ethic is a lifestyle.
It's not a task.

Anitra (37:58):
Right. Right.

Andre (37:59):
Ethic is a maturity level. . It's , it's
not a forced participation inthe upbringing of this whole
Right. , like, as akid, I'm forced, like, 'cause
I'm not mature.

Anitra (38:12):
Right.

Andre (38:12):
I'm forced. 'cause I don't have the ethic. But as an
adult, I gotta be able to say,no , I'm willing to do the hard
stuff because I know what easygets you.

Anitra (38:23):
Yeah. And I

Andre (38:24):
Need somebody to hear that

Anitra (38:25):
. Yeah .

Andre (38:26):
I know. It easy gets you living long enough . If I visit
an adult who finds it hard totake out the trash Mm-Hmm . I'm
gonna find it hard to visitthat adult again. Hang

Anitra (38:38):
. Like , like that's,

Andre (38:40):
That's , you wanna talk about easy. You'll

Anitra (38:41):
Find it easy to be busy every time they call . Like ,

Andre (38:44):
It's easy . It's easy.
This , this is easy for you tosit here and smell that
. It's easy, like, it's easyfor you to look at the , that
seat with dishes in it doesn't

Anitra (38:51):
Bother . It's

Andre (38:52):
Easy. Like Right. No, I don't want no water. No. I
don't want no food. I wantnothing . I dunno where you're
getting that dish from. . I remember we have a , we
have a childhood friend. Thisis so funny. We have a
childhood friend. Uh, uh, well,so, so basically he's the older
brother of your childhoodfriends .

Anitra (39:10):
Okay. And

Andre (39:11):
One time we had to go to , uh, Coleman Middle School,
shout out to Wichita. There you, you go. Okay .

Anitra (39:16):
Okay .

Andre (39:16):
We had to go to , uh, Coleman. We were on our way to
Coleman Middle school one day.
And he said , uh, and no , andI had , uh, something for
breakfast. I don't know what itwas, but I had enough that I
could share and, and what I,and I , and I said, Hey, you ,
you want some? And he, and heasked the weirdest question I
heard in my life, but now I getit today. Like, and he knew

(39:39):
this as a teenager,

Anitra (39:40):
Right.

Andre (39:41):
He said to me, did you wash dishes this morning?
? Come on, come on . And I was like, no, I
didn't wash dishes. He said,were there dishes in your sink

Anitra (39:54):
This morning , morning in the sink ? Come on

Andre (39:56):
. And I was like, yeah, there were, he
said, nah , I don't want it.

Anitra (40:00):
Right . ,

Andre (40:02):
I didn't understand then. But my thing is now, doc
, if you go to bed, bed with

Anitra (40:08):
Dirty before you go to bed,

Andre (40:09):
You wash your dishes before you go to bed, you tidy
your home . , listen ,I'll eat this . I'll , I'll
take a snack from you. But ifyou don't, that means there's
some, there's a level of filththat's acceptable to you .

Anitra (40:22):
Remnants. There's some rem it ain't got that
breakfast. Man .

Andre (40:27):
Man, listen, listen.
There is some transformationthat, that, that that, that
you're not finishing when youshow me some ethic . Right.
Which means there's a , there'sthis conflict in the way that
you manage the ethics all overyour life. I listen, I I it
sounds petty. It sounds,doesn't cursory, it sounds

(40:47):
surface. But listen, listen .
If I walk in, if you don't makeyour bed, there's some
transformation you missing.
Right ?

Anitra (40:54):
Come ,

Andre (40:54):
If you don't wash your dishes, there's some
transformation you miss .

Anitra (40:57):
Come

Andre (40:57):
Y don't take out that trash . There's some
transformation you are missing.
If I get in your car andthere's trash all in the
backseat , that's last . Andthat's last time I'm getting in
your car,

Anitra (41:07):
Getting your car . It's gonna your be easy to pass you
by car . It's gonna be easy tosay no.

Andre (41:11):
Because when we, when we struggle to do the hard, when
we struggle to manage theethics of life, there's
cognitive dissonance that's

Anitra (41:18):
Setting

Andre (41:18):
In. You have said to yourself, ethic doesn't
mean a whole lot. Ethic doesn'thave value to it. And that,
that that mental conflictoccurs that that mental
conflict that occurs. Itdoesn't , when watch this, your
beliefs don't line up with youractions. Come on. 'cause I
don't, I don't. 'cause there'sa whole lot of people like, no,

(41:39):
no, no. Cleanliness is next togodliness.

Anitra (41:42):
Right. Where

Andre (41:42):
There's no god in your home. Right. , there's
no God in your car. There's noGod in your personal space.
There's no God in your shower.
There's no God in you . Sinkwith the toothpaste in the
toilet . . Right .
There's no, God , let me see aring in the toilet. Nah , it's
godless . I'm out. Godless I'mout . Out . That's right.
Unclean, unclean. .

(42:05):
Unclean . You're right . Oh God. Because you know that mean ,
listen, that's what I'm, that'sthat cognitive dissonance. Like
your beliefs have to line upwith your actions. And the ,
and , and how do they do that?
Ethic. Ethic. And what doesethic tell me? Ethic tells me
you don't mind doing the hardthing 'cause it's the right
thing. Mm-Hmm , hmm .
. You're nottrying to take the easy way out

(42:26):
and then kind of dilute yourethic. Or show me that again,
you , you know what you believein what you do. They're ,
they're in this internalconflict Yeah . Fact matter .
That that's why it's, it's anuncomfortable state of mind.
Mm-Hmm.

Anitra (42:40):
.

Andre (42:40):
When someone is taking the easy way out for me. Yes.

Anitra (42:43):
It's

Andre (42:43):
Uncomfortable because what I'm saying, what I'm, what
I'm seeing is, is no, you wouldrather shortcut, you would
rather half a do things. Yeah .
You would rather just take ,you really would rather take
the easy way out, which doesn'tmean it's the right way out.

Anitra (43:00):
Right. Right .

Andre (43:00):
Which also tells me you're not utilizing your best
self. Now I don't. That's givemy own self, my half or worse
self.

Anitra (43:10):
That's good. Ooh .

Andre (43:11):
That's why I'll go to bed. I won't go to bed or
oftentimes on my way to bed,I'll say to myself, I dare you
to go to bed without doingthis.

Anitra (43:19):
Yeah. Because

Andre (43:20):
So now if I'm giving myself my best self, I'm not
finna accept somebody's lessthan best self . Give
me your best .

Anitra (43:27):
Yeah . Yeah .

Andre (43:28):
Show me, show me what you value in life based on do
you take the easy route? Yeah .
Or

Anitra (43:33):
Do you

Andre (43:33):
Mind taking the hard route? Now when I when we say
easy and hard, when I say hard,I'm not dipping into that
saying, what's that saying?
Don't work harder. Worksmarter. Work smarter. Not

Anitra (43:44):
Exactly. Yeah. Yeah .

Andre (43:46):
Right . That's not what I'm saying. 'cause working hard
doesn't mean working dumb.

Anitra (43:50):
Right. Come on, teach.

Andre (43:52):
That's not what I'm saying. Working hard doesn't
mean working dumb. Now I'm withyou if you're dumb , if you're
doing something stupid, you'reautomatically gonna work
harder. To me, that's stilltaking the route where your
ethic

Anitra (44:06):
Yeah .

Andre (44:06):
Is in question to me.

Anitra (44:07):
Yeah. That's good .

Andre (44:08):
So when , so when we say work harder, we're not saying
work don't work. We're notgoing against that Sag
absolutely works smart .

Anitra (44:15):
Mm-Hmm . Yeah .

Andre (44:15):
Absolutely. Works smart . But we're saying is, is don't
take the easy route thatquestions your ethic. That that
gives me half of who you areinstead of your absolute best
self. You see that ? That's ,and and see too many of us get
into that, that that spacewhere we're redefining our best
internal self. Mm-Hmm . We'rerewiring ourselves. Mm-Hmm .

(44:35):
For the appeal of easy. That's

Anitra (44:37):
Easy. That's good .

Andre (44:38):
I know I should do this, but I'm gonna rewire myself to
always accept for the easyRight.

Anitra (44:43):
To accept

Andre (44:44):
Less by doing easy.
Because it's easier to take thepath of least resistance. Too
many of us are doing that.

Anitra (44:51):
Yeah. That's so good.

Andre (44:53):
Right . But , but last time I checked, resistance
builds strength, resistancebuilds muscle, mental muscle,
spiritual muscle, emotionalmuscle. We're too busy reaching
for the low hanging fruit. Andthat's an issue within itself.
Um, I have found, I'm gonna saythis and I'll kick it over to
you. Mm-Hmm . , Ifound that our brains
oftentimes trick us intobelieving that low hanging

(45:16):
fruit is the ripest, but it's

Anitra (45:18):
Not. Yeah.

Andre (45:19):
Matter of fact, if you talk to an agricultural Yep .
Yep .

Anitra (45:22):
Agriculturalist,

Andre (45:23):
Is that how you say it ?
Yeah .

Anitra (45:24):
Uhhuh ,

Andre (45:24):
They'll tell you the best fruit is the fruit that's
closest to the sun.

Anitra (45:29):
To the sun. Which means

Andre (45:30):
It's got to be at the highest elevation.

Anitra (45:32):
Right.

Andre (45:33):
Too many of y'all grabbing for the low hanging
fruit that's got got spoil inthem, dark spoiled spots in it,
stuff like that. Right . Low,low . In fact , low hanging
fruit does not hold anintrinsic value. That's , I
said something I need to makesure we hear that easy looks
appealing, like ripe fruit.

Anitra (45:53):
Yeah . But

Andre (45:53):
Once you take a bite, you realize why it's low
hanging .

Anitra (45:57):
Yeah. That's so good.
But

Andre (45:59):
You take a bite and you realize you like , oh ,
everything. Yeah . Exactly. Oh,wait, a what? The world

Anitra (46:04):
Need more time . Hope that I

Andre (46:05):
Just bite in because, and that's, that's what I mean
when I say cognitivedissonance. Yeah . It will
always make look good. Mm-Hmm .
Because it's easy. And then itbecomes uncomfortable because
what you have to ch becauseyou've chosen easy and less
valuable instead of hard, notmeaning diff not meaning like ,
uh, hurtful or anything likethat. But instead of hard or ha

(46:28):
and which has more value,which, because it strengthens ,
uh, your ethic , uh, itstrengthens your ethic in life.
And so, but anyway, that ,that's my foundation for why
it's so good . Easy, seemsappealing. So I , I'll kick it
over to you. What is yourfoundation for why easy seems
appealing?

Anitra (46:44):
I love it. You laid out the, the ethical implications
there. And I think that's, it'sa beautiful foundation. I took
the approach of kind ofsociety's impact on us when it
comes to the appeal of easy .
'cause we , you know, we livein a world where everything is
so time centered and taskoriented. And so there's a
pacing right of the worldaround us that encourages us to

(47:06):
what? Execute, execute, finish,finish, finish, do, do, do, do,
do . And we start, that'singrained in us at, you know,
elementary school. You're ,you're hitting targets and
you're pushed to it. And it's ,which is why what you've laid
out in terms of the foundationfrom an ethical standpoint is
so critical where, you know,our parents, our families
really help to shape and guidethe way that we look at our
commitment to , to the task inour life. But when you're

(47:28):
inundated with this mindset of,you know, graduate early finish
school in a year. Right . Shopfrom home, stay home to look at
online church. Don't get up andget dressed and go to service.
Uh, use Amazon instead , uh,you know, wear it this way. Uh,
they even have tools now foryou to be able to braid your
hair faster. Right? Yeah. It'slike, rather than the , the
blessing of going into, youknow, ideally if you pick a

(47:51):
beautiful beautician, that youactually get two hours to sit
with them and they can ministerto you. And it's self care .
Like, we're so inundated withthis mindset of what's going to
be right time centered, taskoriented, and you already laid
it out easy for us really is,well, what is the path of least
resistance? Mm-Hmm .
. And we look forthat path because we're
overwhelmed with all of thethings that we've been asked to

(48:13):
accomplish. If you don't get agood ethical foundation of, you
know, what is the best choicefor the things that are
important versus urgent,important versus urgent.

Speaker 4 (48:26):
Mm-Hmm.
. Mm-Hmm.
, we,

Anitra (48:27):
Society will push us to urgency. Right . And there are
things that are urgent, butthat doesn't mean that what's
in front of you that's urgentis the most important. Right.
And so that's the Yeah . Noimportant is different from
urgency, right? Yes . And

Speaker 4 (48:39):
So

Anitra (48:40):
What happens

Speaker 4 (48:40):
Is,

Anitra (48:41):
We're we're Oh , the bill. Yes. The bill is due
right now. Yes, it is due rightthis very minute, but it's
still gonna be due tomorrowtoo. Yes . I love that . And
you can either love , take thatextra shift at your job and try
to make sure you get thatmoney, or you can spend time
with your kid. I can guaranteeyou that the important thing is
that time investing in yourchild.

Speaker 4 (48:59):
Yes.

Anitra (49:00):
That bill is urgent, but you've been here before.
You're gonna work it out. Oryou know that at some point
it's gonna work itself out. AndI think that's the challenge.
We appeal to the easy, becausewe're trying to really , um,
reconcile what's urgent versuswhat's important. And that goes
back to what Buro just said. Ifyou don't have an ethical
foundation that tells you whereyou need to lean in and work

(49:20):
hard, 'cause that's a betterchoice versus what is easy,
society will press in on youand Absolutely. You know, force
you to look at this notion ofwhat is the path of least
resistance so I can just get itall accomplished. And that's
the danger, right. And we startliving that at elementary
school. We do your nephew, youknow, he's in middle school
now, but , I , Ifinally picked up on what was

(49:41):
happening. You know , every dayhe comes home from school, I
always ask him, how was yourday? And I promise you every
day he's like, it was a goodday.

Speaker 4 (49:48):
It was

Anitra (49:48):
A good day. Mm-Hmm .
.

Speaker 4 (49:49):
Mm-Hmm . Yeah .

Anitra (49:50):
And I kept going every day . Can't be , you know, and
what happened was we , he wouldsay this and then maybe an hour
later while we're eating dinneror an hour later, that's ,
that's it . We're doingsomething's it . Then he'd be
like, well, this happened andthis happened. And then she
said this. And I was like, well, you know, and I'm thinking,
whoa. And I said, well, I'mglad you shared that Kai . I
said, that sounds like that

Speaker 4 (50:06):
Was kind of

Anitra (50:06):
Rough. And he said, yeah. I said, so it sounds like
you didn't have a good day atall. And he's like, no, I
didn't . And I said,

Speaker 4 (50:12):
But

Anitra (50:12):
Son, when you came in when you came in two
hours ago, good . Said it was agood day. You , you came in ice
cube , brother . You came inice, ice cube . Today was a
good day. Right. sayyou left , like, who's a rapper
that has some, some

Speaker 4 (50:25):
Angry lyrics.

Anitra (50:25):
I don't know . You ended on somebody else. You
came in on . I'm gonna tell youwhat , you came in Ice Cube,

Speaker 5 (50:30):
You left nwa.

Anitra (50:32):
That's right. .
Exactly. Perfect. Perfect . Andso I found myself going, huh?
But then what he said to mewas, he is like, yeah. He said,
it's just easier to say it wasa good day than process what
I'm feeling. And I was like,woo . . And I was like,
you having a grown father ?
Like I have that every day . Like it's easier to

(50:53):
just be like, I'm good. Or it'seasier to just eat out rather
than cook. It's easier to doall of these things 'cause
we're looking for the path ofleast resistance. But

Speaker 5 (51:03):
The

Anitra (51:03):
Problem as, as you just said, Dre, is that that's never
gonna lead you where you needto go. Resistance is important,
right? Yes . And so I thinkthat's the first layer of
appeal, especially in thesociety and the world that
we're living in, that is verycounter to, you know, this
notion of Mm-Hmm .

Speaker 5 (51:19):
difficult

Anitra (51:19):
Choices and it's already just overwhelmed.
Mm-Hmm . , youknow , when you live in a world
that they're telling you to betime oriented, task centered,
you're gonna have to contendwith this space of do I choose,
you know, how do I make mychoices in terms of how I
invest my effort and my value?
Right ? And then the secondpiece I wanna add, and this is
really for the, the doers outthere. Those of us that are
doers, we're checklistoriented. It's not for

(51:41):
everybody, but those of us thatkind of fall under that mindset
of, I have to do, I , I wannasee my checklist each day, get,
you know, dwindled down. Youend up fighting for your time
because again, you're pushingagainst the, the deadline, the
due date. And that'sfrustrating. And when we , when
we're so hyperfocused onchecklist, or so hyper-focused

(52:02):
on , on execution to getsomething accomplished, then
you miss the larger benefit ofthe journey. And that's also
what my bro, bro just pointedout, which is that, you know,
yes, you may not like takingout the trash, but over time, I
, I love the story you talkabout as , as an adult, you
think about the state of yourhome and that you don't want

Speaker 5 (52:19):
The

Anitra (52:19):
Smells. Right . But there's a, there's a moment
where I think every person,once they have their first
apartment, or once they buytheir first home, or they even
have their own office, or youown your own, you know,
building, you take pride inwhat you own, you

Speaker 5 (52:31):
Do.

Anitra (52:31):
So that lesson and that training that our parents gave
us, that responsibility, right.
That we were learning, that wewere frustrated about. Once you
have your own, that value ofthis is my own, and I wanna
take care of it means so muchmore. Right? And you can miss
the importance of that journeywhen you're so focused on just
checking off the item on thelist. People ask me today ,

(52:53):
they're like, oh, have you everbeen to Houston? 'cause Houston
is a city that's popping. It'sbeen popping, but it's really
popping now. And every timethey ask me, bro, bro , I say,
no, I've never been to Houston.
Now here's the truth. I havebeen to Houston, but I went to
Houston while I was a studentat FMU because we were added to
a last minute performancecompetition that we weren't
expecting to be in. And sowithin a matter of like three

(53:13):
days, we had to get, you know ,airlines, hotels. Mm-Hmm .
. We had to getour performance together, get
our wardrobe. Mm-Hmm .

Speaker 5 (53:19):
.

Anitra (53:19):
And it was just a, I mean, a circus of chaos to try
to not only get us ready, butto get to Houston. Yeah . And
then we were in Houston, we didthe performance. The
performance was amazing. We hadlike two whole days after that,
before we had to fly back. AndI can't tell you one thing that
we did, right? Right. I can'ttell you anything about Houston
because we were so inundatedwith the execution of

(53:43):
representing the college well,

Speaker 6 (53:44):
Of

Anitra (53:45):
Representing

Speaker 6 (53:45):
The

Anitra (53:45):
Program well, of making sure we got all of our gear
that had to be rented back tothe place. And so I'm sure we
went and did some stuff inHouston, I'm sure we traveled
to some things. I was so busytrying to recover, trying to
rest, trying to make sureeverything

Speaker 6 (53:58):
Was done.

Anitra (53:58):
And what happens when you are always focused on
execution, when you're alwaysfocused on just getting it
done. And that comes from,again, not honoring what's easy
versus what's hard. It's just,I need it off my plate. You
miss the journey. Journey . Youmiss journey . The value, you
miss the wholeness of theexperience because you're so
focused on completion or justyour mindset is, Ugh , I don't

(54:21):
want to be dealing with this soI can't stop and smell the
roses. I can't stop and look upand see

Speaker 6 (54:25):
What's

Anitra (54:26):
Around me. And that's what society pushes on us
because we're so future focusedthat we forget what's actually
happening in the present. Andso that's another appeal of
easy is I just wanna get itdone. I just wanna get it
finished. Mm-Hmm .

Speaker 6 (54:38):
Right . Mm-Hmm . I

Anitra (54:39):
Just want it to be over. And that's problematic.
Which is why if you don't lookat it from, you know, what your
parents instilled in you interms of har you know, work
ethic and working hard and thevalue that comes with that,
even if it does require someelbow grease, even if it isn't
the path of least resistance,then there's so much value and
worth it , you miss. And thelast thing I wanna say that I'm
gonna , uh, send it back to youbro. Bro, is what happens when

(55:02):
we're execution oriented orcompletion oriented, is we
negate the fact that what we'reseeking is effectiveness and
efficiency, which can bemisconstrued as easy,
effectiveness,

Speaker 6 (55:17):
And

Anitra (55:17):
Efficiency does not equal easy. Right . Effective
simply means whatever I'mdoing, I'm going to be
successful in producing thatdesired intent, outcome or
result or outcome. Right. Thatthat's how I'm effective.
Right. So like if I wantMalachi to drink more water as
his mom, I have found it is noteffective to just simply ask

(55:38):
him to drink more water . Right. Right . It's not going
to work. Now I know my son iscompetitive. So what I do is I
create an entire competition inthe household. I make sure we
all have our water jugs. And Isay the first person that
finishes this wins for the day.
And you know, they , they getbragging rights or whatever the
case. Mm-Hmm . that becomes effective because

(55:58):
he's 12. He don't wanna drinkwater naturally. He wants soda.
Yeah . He want everything else.
But now what he wants more thansoda is to be able to brag on
his nana and his mom that hesmoked us that day.
that he finished . Yep .

Speaker 6 (56:08):
Right .

Anitra (56:08):
Absolutely. And so that's effective. Does it make
it easy? No. 'cause that meansI'm buying each of us our own
gallon jug of water with a timething on it to know by noon you
gotta be down to here. Is iteasy? No. 'cause that means in
order to make it competitive, Iactually have to work .
Right ? Right . To make surethat he could see that I'm
drinking the same amount ofwater that I'm requiring him to
drink. But at the end of theday, if he got a gallon of

(56:29):
water and it was effective, yes, definitely not easy. But it
was effective. But it waseffective. So you're seeking
that effectiveness. The otherthing you're seeking is
efficiency and efficiency isnot necessarily easy. That's
trying to achieve the maximumproductivity with a minimal of
wasted effort. Wasted. That'sthe key word . Or expense or
time. Right. So I don't wannakey , don't anything. So some

(56:52):
of us foolishly think thatwe're choosing the path of
least resistance or what's easyand you don't even realize you
don't wasted your effort, youdon't wasted your expense, you
done wasted your time. Right.
Absolutely . All these thingsare in place . So that doesn't
make it easy. Going forefficiency is a very good
thing, which as bro , bro said,in terms of what you value and

(57:12):
, and work ethic, efficiency isa quality value to have. It
means that I'm going to makesure it actually will make your
li your life easier. It willmake your life easier in the
long run when you are activelyworking hard at being
efficient. Right . But thatdoesn't take the elbow grease
away. And so I , I thoughtabout our mom. So, you know,

(57:32):
our mom, she's nana to Malachi.
We, we like to play video gameswith him on PlayStation five.
There's this game you guyscalled Overcooked. I love
overcooked. It's a PlayStation.
And actually it may not just bea PlayStation five game, but
it's on PSS five. It's acooperation game where
everybody who plays has to worktogether. And the whole idea is
each character is workingtogether to finish a meal
within a certain amount of timeand get it served up well. So,

(57:55):
you know, Malachi and I haveadvantage because we grew up
playing video games. Right?
Right. Nana doesn't have thatadvantage. She didn't grow, she
grew up with arcades, if thatRight, right . Like she didn't
have anything at home in herhouse that was video games . So
she's taken , you know, one forthe team by jumping in and
learning how to play whatprobably looks like a Lear jet
controller to her. Right?
Right, right. She's sittingdown and going, okay, there's

(58:17):
like 20 buttons. And so sheplays, so in this game you have
characters that have to chopthe, the vegetables and the
food and characters have tocook it. Those have to serve
it. So everybody has their roleand you have to work together
in a cooperative manner toexecute, you know, and get it
finished. Right . So Nana justmastered chopping. She just
mastered chopping .
Like she knows how to get thevegetable and chop it on the

(58:39):
cutting board and then set itaside. Right. We've been
playing for a little while.
Well, so Malachi startedgetting frustrated 'cause we're
getting to the more advancedlevels. And he's like, Nana,
why can't you come over hereand cook? And she's like,
grandson, in order for me to beefficient for , for
this game to go, well, I'mgonna stick to chopping. I know
how to chop. I can chop good. Iknow how to chop. I can chop

(59:00):
meat, I can chop onions, I canchop mushrooms, I can chop
tomatoes, gimme anything, I'llchop it. But you asking me to
go over here on this other sideand start cooking, I ain't
ready for that.

Speaker 7 (59:08):
That's a whole other set of buttons I ain't learned
yet.

Anitra (59:10):
. And so he was like, man, it would be, I said,
son, we are not going to win.
And your game , your your ,your energy is to win if we are
not efficient. Right . Right .
N's efficiency wherethere will be be no wasted
effort or time Yeah . Orexpense.

Andre (59:24):
Yeah .

Anitra (59:24):
Let her chop. But you gotta chop. That's just it. And
so she stays in her lane. Andthat's really the key when
we're thinking about the appealof easy real talk, it's not
easy, is not just making itless work. What you're really
after is effectiveness andefficiency. And here's the real
truth of that. That still takeswork to figure it out in every
scenario in your life. And soyou can't, you're not gonna get

(59:45):
away from it. You need to putin the strategy of how can I be
efficient? How can I beeffective? And that's going to
lead to the better outcome,which then ideally will make
your life easier down the line.
'cause otherwise you're goingand cleaning up right . Where
you lack efficiency and whereyou lack the , uh, you know,
effectiveness. And it's just,it's just the two. Don't, don't
exist and , and don't worktogether.

Andre (01:00:05):
Uh,

Anitra (01:00:05):
Those are just two points I wanna add. But that's
a perfect seg segue into thetransformational perspective.
'cause we always wanna presentthe counterpoint to whatever

Andre (01:00:12):
Our, you know, our

Anitra (01:00:13):
Topic is for the episode. And so here's the
thing. The question is,

Andre (01:00:17):
Bro , bro , who doesn't like easy? Come

Anitra (01:00:19):
On now. Yeah .

Andre (01:00:20):
Working

Anitra (01:00:21):
Smarter,

Andre (01:00:21):
Not harder, like what y'all talk about. Right? So ,
so going back to that, 'causewe kind of delved into it a
little bit, but , but there'sanother , uh, but there's an
additional , uh, thought that Ihave when it, when it comes to
those, you know, who , like yousaid, who people who just know
I love easy , easy works forme, right ?

Anitra (01:00:39):
I'm not Finn to work hard, easy, easy

Andre (01:00:40):
. And , and , and the thing about it is,
there's a way that you can workthat shows your intelligence,
right? Mm-Hmm

Anitra (01:00:47):
Mm-Hmm, .

Andre (01:00:49):
Okay . So people who don't like easy, I'm going to
say aren't necessarily showingyour intelligence,

Anitra (01:00:55):
Right? . Right ?

Andre (01:00:56):
. Okay. We're really not showing your
intelligence. Just 'cause youtook the easy way out. I know
some folk that are doing a bidin jail taking

Anitra (01:01:05):
Easy

Andre (01:01:05):
Way out on . Now , was that

Anitra (01:01:06):
Intelligent? Come on .
Was it intelligent?

Andre (01:01:09):
Right? So, so no. Who doesn't like easy people that
don't want to think, peoplethat don't want to , to use
their brain, right? Mm-Hmm.
. Think about itthis way. You know, there's ,
um, there's a thought that,okay, like I said , there are
people on my job and they'realways taking the easy way out.
Mm-Hmm. , right ?
But we're all connected, right? So they're easy. Makes my job

(01:01:33):
what? Harder, harder. more difficult. Yep . Right ?
They, and you know, you know,they , you know, they'll tell
you, no, I'm just, I've gotthis, you know, what's that hot
button word going around theworkplace? Oh, I got a , I got
preference diversity. .
Like, I , like, like I, I've ,I'm , I , I'd like to do, I'd
like to do it this way. Itbrings diversity to the work. I
That's preference diversity,right ?

Anitra (01:01:55):
I'm saying

Andre (01:01:55):
No , you , you just prefer to be lazy. You , that's
, you prefer to be right.
. And , and , and she ,right? So the reason why it's
diverse is because the reasonwhy you can, we want to use
these terms preferencediversity is because we're
connected. So that doesn't meanthat my heart is your heart ,
right? That's the problem wherepeople who, who get it wrong,

(01:02:15):
who take the easy way out.
Mm-Hmm , . Mm-Hmm. . They're
looking at my heart and saying,oh God, I can't do that. But
wait a minute, my heart is myheart. Your heart's got to be
yours and your heart may , whatyou think it's hard for me is
me operating in where I'mgifted, operating in my talent,
operating in my intelligence.
And the reason why it lookshard is because you might not

(01:02:36):
be talented where I'm talented,you might not be intellectually
sound where I'm intellectuallysound, but it works both ways.
I'm not talented where you aretalented, so it looks hard to
me, but for you, it's like,it's not good if I look hard,
but it's doc , I'm just, I'm inthe zone. I'm just doing my
thing. This is how I'm gifted.
Mm-Hmm . Right ? So, so, sowhat, that's why I say easy is

(01:02:57):
a, it's what you're looking,it's , it's your thought. You
think it's easy, it's athought. It's I'm gifted. It's
your gifted, it's your it's .
And so, yeah, that's the reasonwhy things look the way they
look, but they're notnecessarily that way. So I ,
I've , I've got to be able tounderstand that taking the easy
way out doesn't mean I'mintelligent. In fact, it's

(01:03:20):
probably the exact exactopposite. . It's
probably the exact opposite.
There are too many peoplewalking around here with
preferential preferencediversity, right? , you
know , it's easy. It's allbased on what I see and not
what I'll become. That's a

Anitra (01:03:34):
Problem. Yes. I love

Andre (01:03:35):
That you take an easy way out 'cause of what you see,
but you're gonna miss out onwhat you become. Yes, it's
easy. But watch this. When , if I could take a
step further with this Mm-Hmm .
preference,diversity thing, right ?
, you know, preferencediversity can be based on
attraction. Yes . You also canbe based on avers , aversions
of both, right? Mm-Hmm .

Anitra (01:03:52):
,

Andre (01:03:53):
But never making a decision on who you will
become.

Anitra (01:03:56):
Right.

Andre (01:03:57):
Taking the easy way out.
I like who I am. I don't have aneed to grow anymore. Well ,
when does growth stop ?
Never. When you

Anitra (01:04:06):
Die for

Andre (01:04:06):
Real . When

Anitra (01:04:07):
You die, when does

Andre (01:04:07):
Growth stop? That's exactly right. Growth stops
when you're ready to , you'reno longer on this stunted.

Anitra (01:04:13):
Yeah .

Andre (01:04:13):
That's when it's , that's that's when it stops.
That's good . It stops whenyou're ready to be stunted
because life keeps going, whichmeans growth will always be
required. Mm-Hmm .

Anitra (01:04:25):
Will

Andre (01:04:25):
Always be required. And so yeah. That's, that's,
that's, yeah. Yeah. That's,that's people who just like it
easy , you're basicallysaying, I'm done growing. I'm
stunted, I'm, I'm good. Myarrested development. That's
what you arrested development.
There we go. . Right,right. Bottom line is, is hard
work promotes growth, hard workpromotes growth. Right.

Anitra (01:04:50):
And we wanna grow. So with that, we will jump into
the quick shot.

Andre (01:04:55):
Yeah. Okay. Okay. So, so , uh, you know, we are , we are
talking about the, the benefitsof doing it hard and the appeal
of easy. And I've had to learnthat when it comes to, I, I've
realized starting out in life,I used, you know, if something
was hard, I might say I'm notgonna be able to do it. But I

(01:05:16):
had to learn that whensomething is easy, now I'm
learning to say I'm not gonnabe able to do that. Mm-Hmm .
. Because there'sa true value in doing , uh, the
hard work. There's a truebenefit in doing the hard work
because it's the right work,it's the right ethic to have,
it's the right lifestyle ethicto have. Uh , it reminds me of
a quote. Um , it reminds me ofsomething ne Nelson Mandela

(01:05:38):
said, and I'm gonna quote himhere, said,

Anitra (01:05:39):
Mm-Hmm. ,

Andre (01:05:40):
There is no passion to be found in playing small and
settling for a life that isless than the one you are
capable of living. Mm-Hmm .

Anitra (01:05:49):
. I ,

Andre (01:05:49):
I , I , the reason why I , I brought that up, learning
how to get out of your comfortzone, get out of that easy
mindset space, lead you to alife that you're capable of
living because you're findingout what motivates you and
you're challenging yourself tobe better than who you were in
your laziness. And as you

Anitra (01:06:09):
Challenge

Andre (01:06:10):
Yourself, you find that what was an easy route turned
into a harder existence. Butwhen you started taking the
harder but right route, andwe've been saying it all along,
mm-Hmm.

Anitra (01:06:23):
, you

Andre (01:06:23):
Are actually creating an easier existence. And so you
gotta be willing to stopfinding moments to play small.

Anitra (01:06:33):
Mm-Hmm . ,

Andre (01:06:33):
Stop settling for those moments to play small and step
up to the big moments and gohard. Absolutely. Go hard.

Anitra (01:06:43):
Good . I love it. I love it. All right , so for the
quick shot for me, I'm gonnakind of play on this notion of
curb appeal versus fixer upper, you know, the , the mindset
of on one end, it's like, itlooks pretty cool, but that's
the easy route versus fixerupper or path of lease
resistance versus road lesstraveled, right? .
Okay. Like these two spaces. SoI think I'll have you say,

(01:07:06):
we'll use the title of ourepisode that I'm gonna give you
a scenario and you can eitherdecide, yeah, I'm not gonna be
able to do that . Oryou could say, yeah, that ,
that works for me.

Andre (01:07:15):
Okay.

Anitra (01:07:15):
All right . Here's the first one. An attractive woman
asks you out on a date and thenyou find out she knows your
ex-wife.

Andre (01:07:24):
Not gonna be able to do it .

Anitra (01:07:27):
Not gonna , she's attractive. She, she , listen ,
she dime piece , she fine. If ,

Andre (01:07:31):
If she knows Katina, she knows just how hard it is to be
in a relationship

Speaker 8 (01:07:35):
With me. , I don't think she ready for it .
Not gonna be able to do

Andre (01:07:39):
It. . She ain't been hurt my feelings.
. Nope .

Anitra (01:07:45):
I should have said attractive, wealthy. I
should've put everything inthere . It don't
matter. Just shoulda be like ,not that we able to do it
matter . As soon as you say,and

Andre (01:07:52):
She knows Katina , then she knows how hard it's not to
be, not gonna

Anitra (01:07:56):
Be able to do it.
. All right , here'sanother one. You have an
amazing opportunity to launchyour own business, but one of
your potential investors has arecent bankruptcy.

Andre (01:08:08):
Uh ,

Anitra (01:08:10):
Look at you .

Andre (01:08:12):
'cause you know, there's some folk

Anitra (01:08:14):
Right?

Andre (01:08:15):
That know how to use bankruptcy to their advantage,
to

Anitra (01:08:17):
Their advantage. Our former president is one, one of
our former presidents. Sorry,one of our, there's maybe many
that have done it . I don'tknow . Right? Right.

Andre (01:08:24):
So, so, oh, it depends.
Ooh ,

Anitra (01:08:27):
That works for you.

Andre (01:08:28):
That might work for me.
Depends on the, it depends onhow smart the bankrupted
investor is. depends onhow intelligent,

Anitra (01:08:38):
I'm

Andre (01:08:38):
Not able , if the bankrupted investor's
intelligent, I , I can workwith that. If they're,

Anitra (01:08:43):
If they've used the loss to their advantage,

Andre (01:08:45):
not gonna be able to do it.

Anitra (01:08:48):
All right ? Not gonna be , there's another one. Your
friend has graciously agreed tohelp you jumpstart your workout
plan and he invites you to runwith him. Every morning you
show up and you find out heruns five miles every day .

Andre (01:09:03):
Not gonna be able to do it. not gonna be able
to do it. Not gonna be able todo it. No , because he and I
you are not committed, havedifferent, we know he and I got
different goals. He and I gotdifferent goals. Okay. We got
different goals. His goalsobviously require him to run
five miles a day. , mygoals require me to run. Mm-Hmm
. My goals require me to jog.

(01:09:24):
Mm-Hmm . My goals require me towalk briskly for 15 minutes a
day . Okay. Okay. .
Okay. Not gonna be able to doit.

Anitra (01:09:35):
My God, this is so funny. And this one, this next
one is actually based on areal, a real family member in
our household. But I'll , I'lljust put it out there. Your
sibling has asked you to borrowyour brand new carpet shampoo
and you know that she juststarted a dog care business.

Andre (01:09:54):
No. Not gonna be able to do it . . No . Nah , no
. Uhuh .

Anitra (01:09:59):
That's one of our cousins in Ohio, by the way. I
just wanna

Andre (01:10:01):
Not gonna be able to do it. Uhuh . Uhuh , you ain't
fitting to ruin my car . MyBissell . No. . No. No.
Oh God . I bought the carpetshampoo specific to the way my
carpets need to be Shampooedworks, right?

Anitra (01:10:17):
The way my carpets are set up right .

Andre (01:10:19):
, the way your doggy daycare set up .
, you don't need to buya shampoo. . You, you
need to sign a contract with ashampooing company that comes
out weekly. That's what youneed. You ain't been tear up my
missile . No .

Anitra (01:10:34):
No. Oh , I love it. All right , let's do two more real
quick here. Your mother askedyou to drive her to church
service that day. You agree?
And then she casually mentionsshe has a few errands to run
before service starts. .

Andre (01:10:50):
Okay . Okay.

Anitra (01:10:51):
Now

Andre (01:10:52):
Lemme say this, lemme say this. . Lemme say
this. I'm going to do it

Anitra (01:10:57):
Right ,

Andre (01:10:58):
Because I don't want to , I don't want face the Lord or
judgment for not taking my mamato church.

Anitra (01:11:04):
That's a hard work, work ethic. But

Andre (01:11:07):
What I'm gonna say is, is you got gas money. Oh no.
. . Because ifyou ain't got no gas money,
, you ain't goingnowhere. But church it home .
That's it. That's it. You gotgas money for all these
errands, right ? ? Mm .
You go , we going home and ifyou got gas money, I'll be

(01:11:27):
like, did you tithe unto theLord? Unto

Anitra (01:11:29):
The,

Andre (01:11:31):
Okay . Okay.

Anitra (01:11:32):
I'm gonna be like, well, let's, let's go ahead and
go to church and then and seehow the , the church service
goes . Right ? Right .
See , see how that goes first?
And then we'll see how the daytranspires. All right . Your
daughter was accepted to aprestigious school with a full
ride scholarship. We'll sayit's like a high school or
private school or something .
And in order to accept thescholarship, you as a parent

(01:11:53):
must agree to volunteer for 25hours per month.

Andre (01:11:58):
Oh man. Oh , that's tough.

Anitra (01:12:02):
That's a tough one.

Andre (01:12:03):
Oh , 'cause that's five hours will . Right .

Anitra (01:12:06):
Look at you doing, look at him doing the math. Y'all
.

Andre (01:12:09):
Oh man,

Anitra (01:12:10):
That's a lot. That's a lot. That's a lot . But you get
that full ride though. That'slot . That full ride to this
prestigious private school. Be,

Andre (01:12:17):
Ah , listen, I'm going to do it, but I ain't gonna
like it.

Anitra (01:12:21):
You ain't gonna like it . Yeah ,

Andre (01:12:22):
I ain't gonna like it. I ain't gonna like it Uhuh . And
, and I'm gonna rise to thelevel of volunteerism where I'm
more

Anitra (01:12:29):
Get kicked out of a

Andre (01:12:30):
Delegator.

Anitra (01:12:31):
Oh, there you go.

Andre (01:12:32):
I no , a delegator that way. Then my five hours, I
could do virtually notan

Anitra (01:12:38):
Ra . You gonna create some systems.

Andre (01:12:40):
I would get one of them green screens where I'll be at
the sports bar on Zoom, onZoom, making sure everybody but
it , but you know, the greenscreen. So it shows like I'm in
a home office while I'm at asports bar . You the sports bar
, watching the game, watching the game.

Anitra (01:12:55):
You gonna figure out a way to make snacks.

Andre (01:12:57):
I'll figure it out .
Equate to five hours,

Anitra (01:12:58):
Right? I drop off

Andre (01:12:59):
Snacks and that's my five hours

Anitra (01:13:00):
For the week. all . I love it.

Andre (01:13:04):
I ain't finna pay on tuition. No, no.

Anitra (01:13:07):
Love it. Love it, love it. All right , bro, bro. Uh ,
anything for the final blow?

Andre (01:13:13):
Absolutely. So again, we are , we are looking at ethic,
right? Um , so many times whenwe're, when we are looking at a
situation that where we have todo something and we choose to
say, I'm not going to be ableto do it. Yeah . It's because
of how we see ourselves in themoment. How we see ourselves
being able to do it or beingable , uh, or feeling like the

(01:13:36):
value or the , the loss ofcomfort is greater than the
return . So we're looking atourselves, what we're gonna
get, what we gotta do to get itdone. Mm-Hmm. .
And ultimately when it , whenwe're looking at ourselves,
what we ought to be looking atis just how great we are and
how doing things makes us, canbuild our greatness. Not for

(01:13:58):
bragging rights, right? Just tosimply be able to keep growing
in life. And there can never bea situation where we look at
and say, I can't do it. I can'tdo it. And give in to the easy
route or the lazy or theprocrastination. Um, not when,
again, I I'm me being a man offaith, not when my Bible tells

(01:14:20):
me that I can do all thingsthrough Christ, which gives me
strength. Yeah . Becauseultimately growth is about
getting stronger in everything.
Anytime we have that moment,there are two routes we can
take. The easy route. The easyroute though says that there's
nothing required of you. Mm-Hmm. . And because
there's nothing required ofyou, there's nothing that will

(01:14:43):
reward you. Or I can take theharder route, the intelligent
route, the right route, becausehard is relative, because it's
relational to you. What lookshard to you may be right where
you're gifted at doing. So. IfI stay in my giftedness, stay
in the passion, stay in mycolleagues , stay in my person

(01:15:04):
, then again, what looks hardactually becomes growth. Mm-Hmm
. . I don't go tothe gym lift lightweights and
expect to grow stronger, right? I have to lift the heavy
weights . But what I feel thenext day is actually growth.
Mm-Hmm . . Andultimately what was heavy today

(01:15:25):
becomes light tomorrow. Andthat's what we gotta look at
when we're, when we're sayingwho do you want to be? Do you
want to be the dude that alwaystakes the easy way out? Then
you're the guy that's stuntedarrested in your development
doesn't grow. Or do you want tobe the one that's challenged by
the hard things because youknow, growth is coming, you
know, better is coming, youknow, a easier life is coming

(01:15:46):
when I put in the hard worknow. So for me, that's kind of
that, that final blow. Who doyou wanna be? That's gonna let
me know if you're gonna be onthe couch or if you're gonna
build character. Who do youwant to be? Who do you want to
be?

Anitra (01:16:00):
That is so good. Thank you for the final blow. So
we've come to the end of theepisode. As always, thank you
so much for joining us. Pleasehelp us build the Savage
siblings community. We need youguys to like to share, to
comment, to leave a review,give us a rating, subscribe,
and most importantly, send thisto your favorite Savage

(01:16:21):
siblings. Perhaps you have anexample of easy work and you
think everybody should adoptthis easy work. Well let us
know about that. Or maybe youhave your own example of, yeah,
I'm not gonna be able to do it.
We wanna hear that as well.
Share all of those stories withus. Huge shout out to the team
that helps us flow and grow.
Each episode. Dwayne McClendonand Kyle Davis, our sound

(01:16:42):
editors, Ronnie Maxwell ofMaxwell Music, our music,
Maxwell producer, Keith Crossof Kross Photography for all
the amazing photos. We love youguys. We thank you. And of
course our parents. Thank youfor your DNA and thank you for
the funny life lessons. Wewouldn't be here parentals
without you. And last, butcertainly not least, our
listeners, we're so glad thatyou're rocking with this each

(01:17:03):
and every episode. So we willsee you next time. And
remember, don't go through lifealone.

Andre (01:17:08):
Take care. Bye y'all.

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