April 14, 2025 • 31 mins
In this Lived Experience episode we meet Jennie Plummer who shares her experience of supporting youngest daughter, Bethany, through her School Can’t Experience. Including her ADHD and Autism diagnosis, burnout, and equine supported recovery. Along the way Jennie learned to listen, trust her gut and tune out the loud opinions of others around her.
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Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist, or other qualified professional.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Leisa Reichelt (00:05):
Hello and welcome to the School Can't
Experience Podcast.
I am Leisa Reichelt, and thispodcast is brought to you by the
School Can't Australiacommunity.
Caring for a young person who isstruggling to attend school can
be a stressful and isolatingexperience, but you are not
alone.
Thousands of parents acrossAustralia and many more around
the world face similarchallenges and experiences every
(00:27):
day.
In today's episode, we are goingto hear another School Can't
Lived Experience.
This week our guest is JenniePlummer.
Jennie is speaking to us fromthe beautiful mid north coast of
New South Wales, and she issharing the story of supporting
her youngest child, Bethany.
Bethany was actually the ninthchild that Jennie raised but
there was still a lot to learnfor Jennie and I am so grateful
(00:51):
that she has agreed to share herstory of supporting Bethany with
us today.
So Jennie, I would love for youto get us started by just
telling us a little bit aboutyourself and your family and
just any context you think mightbe helpful.
Jennie Plummer (01:05):
I'm 56 and I'm the mother to four biological
children and five stepchildren.
All my children except myyoungest are young adults.
And my youngest is my SchoolCan't child.
I finished year 12, went touniversity, did multiple
degrees, and finally settled innursing as a registered nurse.
(01:31):
But now I'm on a disabilitysupport pension.
Leisa Reichelt (01:35):
What was your story of discovery with
Neurodivergence in your family?
Jennie Plummer (01:39):
Well, my eldest son, it wasn't till he went into
kindergarten, big school and hewas struggling to read and
write.
The school kept telling me, butcouldn't tell me where I could
go to get help.
I saw three pediatricians and hewas finally diagnosed with
(02:00):
combined ADHD, later dyslexia,and very recently as an adult
with dysgraphia.
Leisa Reichelt (02:08):
Wow.
So that's been quite a journeyfor him then, hasn't it?
Jennie Plummer (02:10):
And then my second child was picked up in
daycare.
He was eventually diagnosed withAutism, but back then they
classed it as Asperger's.
Then my next child was ADHD.
Finally my School Can't child,Bethany, uh, Inattentive ADHD,
(02:32):
Autism level one and probablePDA profile.
She was not picked up until yearnine with ADHD and year 10 ASD
and the PDA I sort of picked upat the same time as when she was
diagnosed with Autism I suspectthat she does have maybe
(02:56):
dysgraphia too,'cos she hastrouble writing down what's in
her head.
She can't express herself andgets very frustrated and just
gives up.
Leisa Reichelt (03:07):
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
I did get
Jennie Plummer (03:08):
her assessed and they thought that she did have
it, but then when they asked herto write on a topic of interest,
could write it perfectly.
So they couldn't diagnose her asthat.
Exactly.
But now what she's doing now,she's struggling with the same
thing.
Leisa Reichelt (03:25):
Yeah.
So it'd be interesting just tokinda unpack for a minute,
right.
All the boys were diagnosedreally early
Jennie Plummer (03:32):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (03:32):
and then Bethany really late, like you'd been
through the diagnosisexperience.
Jennie Plummer (03:37):
I missed it myself,
Leisa Reichelt (03:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not, I mean, notthat it's your fault because
like there's professional peoplefor this, right?
But talk a little bit aboutthat.
Jennie Plummer (03:46):
She's also quite bright and I think that sort of
disguised the struggle.
She actually mentioned herselfin year eight I think it was,
that she thought she had ADHD.
And I looked back at hersiblings and thought, no, you
don't have ADHD.
'cause they were the typical boypresentation, you know
(04:08):
hyperactive, And where she wasquiet and just, she definitely
had the female presentation, butI wasn't aware of that.
And I think,'cause she did wellin primary school, but I can
look back now and I can see thatI scaffolded and so did the
school.
And so when she transitionedinto high school, the
(04:31):
scaffolding dropped away andthen the problems arose.
Leisa Reichelt (04:35):
Let's go back and talk about Bethany's school
journey.
Jennie Plummer (04:38):
Primary school she seemed to sail through.
She was a high achieveracademically and in sport.
She did a lot of representativesport for the school.
She joined in all activities.
She was on the debating team,the school student
representative council.
She did public speaking, which Icouldn't imagine her doing that
(05:00):
now.
She did so well in the NAPLANthat she was given extension
work privately, and she got amajor trophy every single year
in primary school atpresentation day at the end of
the year, like academic awards.
Leisa Reichelt (05:16):
She didn't just cope, she smashed it.
Jennie Plummer (05:18):
Yeah, she did.
So this came as an awful shockwhen we went to high school.
But looking back, she did havesocial issues starting in year
five.
She kept swapping friends groupsand they'd have fights.
She couldn't understand what shewas doing wrong.
She said, I'm trying to be agood friend, but I don't know
what I'm doing wrong.
(05:39):
And she seemed to have a lot offriends, but no true, close,
meaningful friends.
She flitted around from group togroup and in the end she made
friends with children thatdidn't even attend that school,
just children she met on the busfrom other schools.
Even then she swapped thosefriends around.
(05:59):
So I thought she had heaps offriends, but she didn't really
have any.
Leisa Reichelt (06:03):
So those were early signs when you look back.
So then we moved forward intohigh school.
Jennie Plummer (06:08):
Mm-hmm.
Leisa Reichelt (06:09):
And what happened with high school?
Jennie Plummer (06:10):
Year seven was okay.
I think year eight the signsreally began.
She was in the top stream of theschool and she kept asking to be
dropped down, that she justwants to be in an average class.
She can't cope with the work.
And I spoke to the school andthey said, oh, she's quiet and
she's achieving well, we don'treally want her to go down.
(06:34):
So that was delayed.
She eventually did go down.
She relaxed more.
She was so happy.
No pressure.
But after one of the exams thedeputy principal said she needs
to go back up.
She did, and she didn't cope.
She was having trouble.
They had to start doing PEELparagraphs and essays and
(06:57):
extended answers.
She just couldn't grasp thatconcept at all.
She was given private tutoringat the school, by the school,
but that stressed her even more.
She hated it and said, I don'twant to do it anymore.
And yeah, that was really thestart.
She kept wanting to go back downto a lower class.
She started having vagueailments, stomach aches,
(07:21):
headaches, all sorts of thingsto stay home.
And then eventually said, I justdon't want to go to school.
And that's it.
No excuses of physical ailments.
She just didn't want to attend.
Leisa Reichelt (07:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jennie Plummer (07:34):
She asked to change schools and we tried that
several times and it didn'twork.
And she kept going back to theoriginal mainstream high school.
Leisa Reichelt (07:46):
Jennie, do you have a sense of what was going
on then?
Jennie Plummer (07:49):
I thought it was to do with friendships.
'cause the first thing thathappened in year nine, was she
had three friends and they movedout of the area because of a
local housing crisis.
And that's where I thought itstemmed from.
But it wasn't until she wentinto complete burnout that we
started exploring things.
(08:10):
That was just a part of it, butwasn't everything.
And I didn't listen to the factthat she was struggling
academically.
'cause I'm thinking, you, youare so bright.
You know, you got all theseawards.
I should have listened, but Ididn't.
Leisa Reichelt (08:27):
We all say that in retrospect, don't we?
Had her marks slipped, was sheobviously academically
struggling?
Or.
Jennie Plummer (08:33):
She was still doing well in the subjects she
liked, which is another thing Ican recognize now, but English,
she could understand in herhead, like say she had to
analyze a poem.
She could do that in her headand tell you verbally, but she
couldn't put that down inwriting or express it in an
(08:54):
extended, expanded way.
And I was getting frustratedthinking, why can't you do this?
But now I know she really wasstruggling and she actually came
up to me and said, I think I'vegot ADHD like my brothers and
'cause I didn't know the femalepresentation was going, no, you
(09:15):
don't.
Like, I, I wrongly thought thatshe was becoming lazy, I think,
and she just didn't want to bein the high class and do the
work involved.
But now I know it was theopposite to that.
She was trying.
Trying and struggling.
Leisa Reichelt (09:35):
I think what you said then is such a common thing
for so many of us, isn't it?
You kind of get caught in thisback and forth.
It's like, is there somethingwrong or are they just being
lazy?
Jennie Plummer (09:44):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (09:44):
my job to support them?
Or actually should I be pushingthem?
Like, which they're bothopposite things, but which
one's, right.
Who knows?
Jennie Plummer (09:52):
yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (09:52):
It's a quandary.
Jennie Plummer (09:53):
yeah, Yeah.
So,
Leisa Reichelt (09:56):
So what happened next?
Jennie Plummer (09:58):
well, we tried out of area enrollment into a
school.
And then she went to otherschools within the area, kept
going back to her own school.
In the end, she just didn't goto school.
She just would not go.
We had been seeking theassistance from Headspace, but
(10:20):
she refused see them anyfurther.
She refused to see our GP, whowas wonderful.
She wouldn't go and see him.
She stopped all her out ofschool activities like she was
into dance.
She refused.
Well, she said, I don't want todo that anymore.
She was playing in a hockey teamsince she was tiny.
(10:41):
She wouldn't go back to that.
And then eventually she wouldn'tleave her bedroom and she
wouldn't have the blinds open.
She had to stay in the dark.
She'd only leave to go to thetoilet.
She wouldn't shower, shewouldn't clean her teeth and
would only eat in her bedroom.
And then her sleep patternsreversed.
(11:01):
She was awake all night andasleep all day.
Leisa Reichelt (11:06):
How were you when all of this was going on,
Jennie?
Jennie Plummer (11:09):
you know what I was more worried about?
The Department of Educationbeing on my back'cause my
brother has a child thatstruggled with School Can't
since kindergarten.
She was two years younger thanmy daughter and they were sent
to court and I was waiting forthat.
I of course was worried about mydaughter but that added
(11:30):
pressure.
It's like you have to get toschool'cause I can't afford for
this to happen, but it's reallysad'cause that took time from me
for my daughter with me worryingabout keeping the school and
Department of Education happy,which shouldn't have been.
But in the end, my GP got amedical certificate and that
(11:52):
covered her.
And it was actually throughlistening to the people from
School Can't that I startedtaking a step back and taking a
completely different approach.
Leisa Reichelt (12:05):
When you found that group and started engaging
in some of the conversationswhat were some of the key things
that were.
Jennie Plummer (12:12):
The big thing was repeatedly to get her
assessed and diagnosed, andthey're saying she sounds like
she does have either ADHD orAutism or both.
And to help support hermentally, and to take all
pressure off, allow her timeaway from school.
(12:33):
Not to listen to family and notto be pressured by the school or
society's expectationsbasically.
And I'm so glad I listened toall those wonderful people with
lived experience because here weare today doing quite well now.
Leisa Reichelt (12:51):
That's fantastic.
So Bethany's kind of in her roomnot doing much at all, you
realized that taking the demandsoff
Jennie Plummer (13:02):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (13:02):
was the key to it.
What was the pathway back towhere she is now from there?
Jennie Plummer (13:07):
It was very slow, baby steps.
My GP, without seeing heractually prescribed Fluoxetine
And put her on a waiting list tosee telehealth psychiatrist,
'cause there's none up here thatwe could access.
That Fluoxetine actually tookthe edge off enough for her to
(13:28):
be receptive to some things.
And one of those things, I knewshe loved horses and her best
friend had horses.
So I leased a horse.
Now it was really baby steps.
I was paying all this money forthe horse and she'd go out maybe
once a week for 10 minutes andjust patted it and brushed it.
(13:49):
But over time she was eventuallyriding it.
Then I bought her her own horse,which just motivated her even
more.
Also the psychiatrist diagnosedher at first with ADHD, and when
she was put on the dexamphetamine that helped her, I
(14:11):
think, like I could see adifference in her mood even with
that.
And if she doesn't take it nowand has rest days, I can see the
difference when she's not on it.
It was very slow.
That's the thing I need toemphasize, that it's not a quick
process.
(14:31):
It is baby steps and sometimessteps backwards.
She then started not going outto the horse, but I backed off
and then before I knew it, shewas asking to go out.
But if I asked her, do you wantto go out to the horse?
It'd make her not want to go.
She said, every time you askedme, I felt I couldn't go, even
if I wanted.
Leisa Reichelt (14:52):
There's that PDA profile, huh?
Jennie Plummer (14:54):
She said, because you told me to, it felt
like a task.
That's her words.
Even though she loved the horse,I made it into a task
accidentally.
Leisa Reichelt (15:04):
Yeah.
I know this is like thisparenting journey, isn't it?
Is that you, you're trying sohard and then you do something
that you think is gonna behelpful and the next thing you
know, you set everyone back halfa dozen steps it is so hard.
Jennie Plummer (15:17):
It's a lot of learning by trial and error and
listening to other people'sstories is really helpful.
Leisa Reichelt (15:24):
And did you have some good professional help
around you as well?
I mean, they got theprescriptions right, which is
great,
Jennie Plummer (15:29):
The first psychiatrist she saw with
telehealth thought that she didhave ADHD, but he wanted her
school reports and of courseprimary school, she did so well.
He said she doesn't meet thecriteria even though we did, I
think it was, uh, a Conners orwhatever it was and she flagged
(15:54):
on that.
He said because of her schoolreports, her high achievement,
she doesn't have ADHD.
But the second psychiatrist justby talking and asking me about
her history and everything.
He goes, oh, she definitely hasADHD and probably Autism as
well, straight away.
Leisa Reichelt (16:15):
Such a gulf isn't there?
Between the professionals whohave seen this more feminine
presentation and the ones whohaven't or haven't recognized
it, like it's just a worldapart, isn't it?
Jennie Plummer (16:26):
It is.
And the second psychiatrist whomshe's still under, he didn't
even ask us to do the Conners oranything like that.
And it wasn't until she ended upin her alternative school that
she got formally assessed withpaperwork,
Leisa Reichelt (16:43):
Hmm.
Jennie Plummer (16:44):
definitely had it.
Leisa Reichelt (16:45):
How long would you say Bethany was going
through this burnout stage?
Jennie Plummer (16:48):
Oh, a good eight months, Well over a year, but
the worst of the worst was eightmonths.
Leisa Reichelt (16:55):
And then at one point she did feel ready to go
back to school.
Jennie Plummer (17:00):
Yes.
Leisa Reichelt (17:01):
What happened there?
Jennie Plummer (17:02):
She had a friend who's autistic as well, and she
started attending a localalternative special assistant
school, and my daughter asked.
Could she go and have a look?
And again, I did the wrong thingand thought, oh no, there's some
(17:22):
bad kids in that school.
And I actually spoke to thedeputy principal at her
mainstream high school, he said,it's full of troubled kids.
They do a good job, but shemight get influenced and become
a criminal.
Anyway, in the end, my daughterwasn't doing anything.
She wouldn't go to TAFE, any ofmy suggestions.
(17:44):
We were going to homeschool andwe were waiting for that
process.
I gave in to her nagging, so tospeak, and went and looked at
the school and had an interview,and I thought, you know what?
This might work.
Before we'll know it, she wasenrolled there and quite happy
Leisa Reichelt (18:04):
What was it about the school that made you
think this might work
Jennie Plummer (18:08):
Just speaking to the staff there, they had a
completely different approach.
They were thinking of mydaughter's mental well being
than just focusing on academicsand you will attend, you will
wear your uniform.
It was an approach I had nevercome across before and I could
see why Bethany might want to gothere.
(18:30):
They talked about the activitiesthey do.
How their day is structured andthat they've got their own
clinical psychologist and theirown educational psychologist.
And I just thought, oh, weshould probably give this a try.
And we never looked back.
It was the best thing.
Leisa Reichelt (18:51):
How's Bethany doing today?
What's life like for her now?
Jennie Plummer (18:54):
She obtained a traineeship in early childhood
education at a local daycarecenter, walking distance from
our house.
She was offered it full-time,but advocated for herself
strongly and said, I want to gopart-time.
She was going four days a week,plus she was working at a local
(19:18):
cafe.
Because at the alternativeschool, she learned, barista
skills and qualifications, andthey actually got her work in a
local cafe.
Anyway, she got this traineeshipand she still works part-time at
the cafe for extra cash andshe's now, this week, been
(19:40):
offered work, part-time toassist her farrier doing his
rounds.
Leisa Reichelt (19:46):
Wow.
Jennie Plummer (19:47):
She finds it hard doing the one thing full
time.
She needs variety and she wentup to four days per week and I
was pushing for five, and shesaid, don't push me, otherwise
I'll end up in burnout and won'tgo to work at all.
And then a psychiatrist said,listen to her, and I did.
(20:11):
Anyway, so she's going threedays a week at the daycare
center and working with thefarrier and the cafe when she
feels she's capable.
She's really excited aboutworking with the farrier, and I
can see that being a secondpermanent part-time thing
Leisa Reichelt (20:30):
Wow.
They find their own way in theend, don't they?
Jennie Plummer (20:33):
Absolutely.
I didn't think she would, butshe
Leisa Reichelt (20:37):
Mm
Jennie Plummer (20:38):
Yeah.
Leisa Reichelt (20:38):
Just following the passions.
Jennie Plummer (20:40):
Yeah, and it wasn't what I was expecting for
her.
I thought that she'd go and doher HSC but I've changed my
thinking, I'm glad that she'shappy doing what she's doing.
I'm really proud of her.
Leisa Reichelt (20:55):
Yeah, I know she probably has learned so much
about herself, but as part ofthis journey, I think we as
parents learn so much as well,don't we?
Jennie Plummer (21:04):
Yes.
'cause the funny thing was Ididn't push my eldest son into
the tertiary education path, buther, I was thinking, there's no
reason why you can't do it.
And now she's talking aboutdoing that eventually.
Under her own terms and pace.
(21:24):
So it's interesting when youback off what happens.
Leisa Reichelt (21:28):
It really is, isn't it really is.
Jennie Plummer (21:30):
i wasn't really strict with her, I was just
encouraging, but that was enoughto put her off and stress her.
Leisa Reichelt (21:38):
Well, that's the thing, isn't it?
Sometimes it is even thepositive reinforcement that can
become pressure.
I know if my son's had a goodweek and I talk about, oh, it's
such a good week, that is likepressure for him to make sure
that next week weighs up to thesame as this week and then that
can make the wheels fall off.
Jennie Plummer (21:54):
Exactly.
And even with pleasureactivities, I can ruin that in a
second,
Leisa Reichelt (22:00):
I completely ruined a movie yesterday.
Like really badly.
Jennie Plummer (22:04):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (22:06):
Accidentally.
Yeah,
Jennie Plummer (22:07):
That it, it's a constant thing with us, but I'm
learning too,
Leisa Reichelt (22:10):
exactly,
Jennie Plummer (22:11):
parenting approach completely now.
Leisa Reichelt (22:14):
My son does tell me.
I'm a very slow learner at thisstuff though.
Jennie Plummer (22:17):
but my daughter, I'm really proud that she can
advocate for herself now.
Before she wouldn't be braveenough to speak up.
Now, she'll tell you.
Leisa Reichelt (22:28):
Such an important skill, isn't it, for
them to be able to do wellthrough their life, to have that
self-advocacy like it's such avaluable skill.
Jennie Plummer (22:36):
That school she went to in the end built that
into her.
They boosted her self-esteem andI noticed when she left there
that she was starting toadvocate for herself and be a
lot braver'Cause she was in fullSchool Can't, she wouldn't even
(22:57):
go to a shop to buy herself achocolate that she really
wanted.
She lacked the confidence to doanything.
So to see her now is justamazing.
Leisa Reichelt (23:07):
Jennie, what's this been like for you?
This has been, a bit of arollercoaster journey.
What's been the impact on yourlife of having to support your
daughter through this?
Jennie Plummer (23:16):
It was a struggle financially, because I
was a shift worker doingrotating rosters that didn't fit
in.
Also the financial cost ofgetting assessments done, even
seeing the GP here, like itwasn't bulk billed then.
(23:38):
And of course we were doing thatevery week that added up.
The other issue was with family.
My extended family did notunderstand at all and were on my
back constantly, so that took atoll mentally.
'Cause your family are meant tobe like supporting you, but they
(24:00):
were doing the opposite.
They made me question myparenting.
But then I brought up thesestepchildren and older children
and I'm thinking, how could Isuddenly with the last one be a
bad parent, you know?
And also it was just stressfultrying to figure out what was
(24:24):
going on, walking on eggshells,everything upset her.
I was trying so hard and Ithought I was being nice
sometimes it wasn't the rightthing and there was constant
stress of not triggeringanything.
My social life suffered becauseI was concentrating on her and
(24:46):
also friends didn't understandwhat was going on.
And then my routine, we livenext to a big river, and I used
to walk alongside the river orgo to the beach.
That all stopped like.
It was all put on hold, whichwasn't good mentally or
physically for me either.
Leisa Reichelt (25:06):
Definitely takes a toll, doesn't it?
It's like your life goes on holdfor a while, doesn't it?
While you just really focus ongetting theirs back on track.
Jennie Plummer (25:14):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (25:14):
Bethany's doing well again.
Now, hopefully you've got alittle bit more time for
yourself.
Jennie Plummer (25:19):
yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (25:19):
Let's just go to our final three closing
questions, if that's alright,Jennie.
Jennie Plummer (25:25):
Yep.
Leisa Reichelt (25:25):
The first one is if you could go back in time and
tell yourself something, whenwould you go back to and what
would you say?
Jennie Plummer (25:32):
I would go back to year five and six in primary
school because that's when thesocial issues started and I
thought it was just puberty.
No, there were problems.
Secondly, should have lookedback and looked at everything.
I was scaffolding.
She couldn't remember to bringanything to school unless I
(25:55):
packed her bag for her.
She wouldn't have known to dohomework, nothing.
And even then, I still got phonecalls from the school saying she
didn't bring her hat.
She can't play in a playground.
And yet I handed the hat to her,which is the ADHD, like she was
so unorganized at home andwouldn't follow multi-step
(26:19):
instructions.
And I scaffolded by giving oneand two steps, but didn't have a
conscious thought about that atall.
But now I can see what it was.
The other thing I would do wasget diagnosis earlier, like even
if I didn't think she had it,still, go ahead and seek
(26:41):
professional help.
And the other thing is, and themost important thing is have a
introspective approach.
Have a look at yourself, yourown ideas, your own expectations
and have a good think.
Uh, am I pushing my own agendaonto my daughter?
(27:07):
am I wanting her to do this,this, and this?
That's my goals, not hers.
That's a big one.
Leisa Reichelt (27:15):
It's a hard one to step away from though, isn't
it?
Jennie Plummer (27:17):
and also to realize that success isn't going
to uni and having lots of money.
Success is getting by withinyour means happily and with your
mental health intact.
Leisa Reichelt (27:35):
Absolutely, a hundred percent.
So, Jennie, if there was onething that you could say to
everyone who's listening, who'son their own School Can't
journey, what would you, whatwould you like them to know?
Jennie Plummer (27:45):
Like I just touched on, listen to your
child, support their mentalhealth.
Don't be pressured by family orsociety.
Go with your gut.
Like a lot of times I eventuallywent with my gut and it was
correct.
Don't panic.
(28:06):
'cause given the right support,your child will come out of this
eventually and they will findtheir own path.
But be prepared for it to be notthe path you had envisioned for
them.
It's their life, their story,and they'll find their own way.
Leisa Reichelt (28:29):
Those are very wise words.
And then just in terms ofresources, can you tell us about
a, a resource or a couple ofresources if you like, that
you've used on this journey thatyou think everyone should know
about?
Jennie Plummer (28:42):
Well, the greatest resource was this one,
like the School Can't listeningto the stories of people with
lived experience.
It was invaluable, and it wasonly through them that I got her
assessed, that I allowed her therest in her room and got medical
(29:03):
certificates.
They were my constant sourcereally, of support and wonderful
information.
When we were going down thehomeschooling path, people gave
me heaps of information withthat.
Just very helpful.
The other thing is don'tdisregard your GP.
(29:24):
Our GP was fantastic, really,really good.
Leisa Reichelt (29:29):
Did, did you want to name drop the school at
all or,
Jennie Plummer (29:33):
Nautilus College at Port Macquarie.They were
fantastic.
Can't speak more highly..
Leisa Reichelt (29:40):
Well it's an amazing story, Jennie.
Thank you so much for sharing itwith us, and I'm really glad to
hear that Bethany's doing sowell today.
I hope, I hope you do reallywell also.
Jennie Plummer (29:51):
Okay.
Thank you so much.
I hope it helps people.
Leisa Reichelt (29:54):
I'm sure it absolutely will.
Well, that was a wonderfulstory, wasn't it?
And if you've heard a few ofthese lived experience episodes
by now, I bet you are alsopicking up on the recurring
themes of trusting your gut as aparent, trusting and really
hearing your young person whenthey're telling us that
something is not right.
And how good is it to hearstories of our School Can't
young people finding their wayback to thriving in the world
(30:15):
again.
We hope to share many more livedexperience episodes.
And if you have a School Can'tstory that you would like to
share, please email us atschoolcantpodcast@gmail.com.
That's one wordschoolcantpodcast@gmail.com.
We've put a link to the SchoolCan't Australia website and
Facebook community that Jennierecommended in the episode notes
(30:36):
and also a link to donate toSchool Can't Australia.
Your tax deductible donationsassist us to raise community
awareness, partner withresearchers, produce resources
like webinars, and this podcast,which all assist people who are
supporting children and youngpeople experiencing School
Can't.
If you are a parent or carer inAustralia and you are feeling
(30:58):
distressed, remember you canalways call the parent helpline
in your state.
A link with the number to callis in the show notes.
Thanks again for listening, andwe will talk again soon.
Take care.
Hello and welcome to the School Can't
Experience Podcast.
I am Leisa Reichelt, and thispodcast is brought to you by the
School Can't Australiacommunity.
Caring for a young person who isstruggling to attend school can
be a stressful and isolatingexperience, but you are not
alone.
Thousands of parents acrossAustralia and many more around
the world face similarchallenges and experiences every
(00:27):
day.
In today's episode, we are goingto hear another School Can't
Lived Experience.
This week our guest is JenniePlummer.
Jennie is speaking to us fromthe beautiful mid north coast of
New South Wales, and she issharing the story of supporting
her youngest child, Bethany.
Bethany was actually the ninthchild that Jennie raised but
there was still a lot to learnfor Jennie and I am so grateful
(00:51):
that she has agreed to share herstory of supporting Bethany with
us today.
So Jennie, I would love for youto get us started by just
telling us a little bit aboutyourself and your family and
just any context you think mightbe helpful.
Jennie Plummer (01:05):
I'm 56 and I'm the mother to four biological
children and five stepchildren.
All my children except myyoungest are young adults.
And my youngest is my SchoolCan't child.
I finished year 12, went touniversity, did multiple
degrees, and finally settled innursing as a registered nurse.
(01:31):
But now I'm on a disabilitysupport pension.
Leisa Reichelt (01:35):
What was your story of discovery with
Neurodivergence in your family?
Jennie Plummer (01:39):
Well, my eldest son, it wasn't till he went into
kindergarten, big school and hewas struggling to read and
write.
The school kept telling me, butcouldn't tell me where I could
go to get help.
I saw three pediatricians and hewas finally diagnosed with
(02:00):
combined ADHD, later dyslexia,and very recently as an adult
with dysgraphia.
Leisa Reichelt (02:08):
Wow.
So that's been quite a journeyfor him then, hasn't it?
Jennie Plummer (02:10):
And then my second child was picked up in
daycare.
He was eventually diagnosed withAutism, but back then they
classed it as Asperger's.
Then my next child was ADHD.
Finally my School Can't child,Bethany, uh, Inattentive ADHD,
(02:32):
Autism level one and probablePDA profile.
She was not picked up until yearnine with ADHD and year 10 ASD
and the PDA I sort of picked upat the same time as when she was
diagnosed with Autism I suspectthat she does have maybe
(02:56):
dysgraphia too,'cos she hastrouble writing down what's in
her head.
She can't express herself andgets very frustrated and just
gives up.
Leisa Reichelt (03:07):
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
I did get
Jennie Plummer (03:08):
her assessed and they thought that she did have
it, but then when they asked herto write on a topic of interest,
could write it perfectly.
So they couldn't diagnose her asthat.
Exactly.
But now what she's doing now,she's struggling with the same
thing.
Leisa Reichelt (03:25):
Yeah.
So it'd be interesting just tokinda unpack for a minute,
right.
All the boys were diagnosedreally early
Jennie Plummer (03:32):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (03:32):
and then Bethany really late, like you'd been
through the diagnosisexperience.
Jennie Plummer (03:37):
I missed it myself,
Leisa Reichelt (03:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it's not, I mean, notthat it's your fault because
like there's professional peoplefor this, right?
But talk a little bit aboutthat.
Jennie Plummer (03:46):
She's also quite bright and I think that sort of
disguised the struggle.
She actually mentioned herselfin year eight I think it was,
that she thought she had ADHD.
And I looked back at hersiblings and thought, no, you
don't have ADHD.
'cause they were the typical boypresentation, you know
(04:08):
hyperactive, And where she wasquiet and just, she definitely
had the female presentation, butI wasn't aware of that.
And I think,'cause she did wellin primary school, but I can
look back now and I can see thatI scaffolded and so did the
school.
And so when she transitionedinto high school, the
(04:31):
scaffolding dropped away andthen the problems arose.
Leisa Reichelt (04:35):
Let's go back and talk about Bethany's school
journey.
Jennie Plummer (04:38):
Primary school she seemed to sail through.
She was a high achieveracademically and in sport.
She did a lot of representativesport for the school.
She joined in all activities.
She was on the debating team,the school student
representative council.
She did public speaking, which Icouldn't imagine her doing that
(05:00):
now.
She did so well in the NAPLANthat she was given extension
work privately, and she got amajor trophy every single year
in primary school atpresentation day at the end of
the year, like academic awards.
Leisa Reichelt (05:16):
She didn't just cope, she smashed it.
Jennie Plummer (05:18):
Yeah, she did.
So this came as an awful shockwhen we went to high school.
But looking back, she did havesocial issues starting in year
five.
She kept swapping friends groupsand they'd have fights.
She couldn't understand what shewas doing wrong.
She said, I'm trying to be agood friend, but I don't know
what I'm doing wrong.
(05:39):
And she seemed to have a lot offriends, but no true, close,
meaningful friends.
She flitted around from group togroup and in the end she made
friends with children thatdidn't even attend that school,
just children she met on the busfrom other schools.
Even then she swapped thosefriends around.
(05:59):
So I thought she had heaps offriends, but she didn't really
have any.
Leisa Reichelt (06:03):
So those were early signs when you look back.
So then we moved forward intohigh school.
Jennie Plummer (06:08):
Mm-hmm.
Leisa Reichelt (06:09):
And what happened with high school?
Jennie Plummer (06:10):
Year seven was okay.
I think year eight the signsreally began.
She was in the top stream of theschool and she kept asking to be
dropped down, that she justwants to be in an average class.
She can't cope with the work.
And I spoke to the school andthey said, oh, she's quiet and
she's achieving well, we don'treally want her to go down.
(06:34):
So that was delayed.
She eventually did go down.
She relaxed more.
She was so happy.
No pressure.
But after one of the exams thedeputy principal said she needs
to go back up.
She did, and she didn't cope.
She was having trouble.
They had to start doing PEELparagraphs and essays and
(06:57):
extended answers.
She just couldn't grasp thatconcept at all.
She was given private tutoringat the school, by the school,
but that stressed her even more.
She hated it and said, I don'twant to do it anymore.
And yeah, that was really thestart.
She kept wanting to go back downto a lower class.
She started having vagueailments, stomach aches,
(07:21):
headaches, all sorts of thingsto stay home.
And then eventually said, I justdon't want to go to school.
And that's it.
No excuses of physical ailments.
She just didn't want to attend.
Leisa Reichelt (07:32):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jennie Plummer (07:34):
She asked to change schools and we tried that
several times and it didn'twork.
And she kept going back to theoriginal mainstream high school.
Leisa Reichelt (07:46):
Jennie, do you have a sense of what was going
on then?
Jennie Plummer (07:49):
I thought it was to do with friendships.
'cause the first thing thathappened in year nine, was she
had three friends and they movedout of the area because of a
local housing crisis.
And that's where I thought itstemmed from.
But it wasn't until she wentinto complete burnout that we
started exploring things.
(08:10):
That was just a part of it, butwasn't everything.
And I didn't listen to the factthat she was struggling
academically.
'cause I'm thinking, you, youare so bright.
You know, you got all theseawards.
I should have listened, but Ididn't.
Leisa Reichelt (08:27):
We all say that in retrospect, don't we?
Had her marks slipped, was sheobviously academically
struggling?
Or.
Jennie Plummer (08:33):
She was still doing well in the subjects she
liked, which is another thing Ican recognize now, but English,
she could understand in herhead, like say she had to
analyze a poem.
She could do that in her headand tell you verbally, but she
couldn't put that down inwriting or express it in an
(08:54):
extended, expanded way.
And I was getting frustratedthinking, why can't you do this?
But now I know she really wasstruggling and she actually came
up to me and said, I think I'vegot ADHD like my brothers and
'cause I didn't know the femalepresentation was going, no, you
(09:15):
don't.
Like, I, I wrongly thought thatshe was becoming lazy, I think,
and she just didn't want to bein the high class and do the
work involved.
But now I know it was theopposite to that.
She was trying.
Trying and struggling.
Leisa Reichelt (09:35):
I think what you said then is such a common thing
for so many of us, isn't it?
You kind of get caught in thisback and forth.
It's like, is there somethingwrong or are they just being
lazy?
Jennie Plummer (09:44):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (09:44):
my job to support them?
Or actually should I be pushingthem?
Like, which they're bothopposite things, but which
one's, right.
Who knows?
Jennie Plummer (09:52):
yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (09:52):
It's a quandary.
Jennie Plummer (09:53):
yeah, Yeah.
So,
Leisa Reichelt (09:56):
So what happened next?
Jennie Plummer (09:58):
well, we tried out of area enrollment into a
school.
And then she went to otherschools within the area, kept
going back to her own school.
In the end, she just didn't goto school.
She just would not go.
We had been seeking theassistance from Headspace, but
(10:20):
she refused see them anyfurther.
She refused to see our GP, whowas wonderful.
She wouldn't go and see him.
She stopped all her out ofschool activities like she was
into dance.
She refused.
Well, she said, I don't want todo that anymore.
She was playing in a hockey teamsince she was tiny.
(10:41):
She wouldn't go back to that.
And then eventually she wouldn'tleave her bedroom and she
wouldn't have the blinds open.
She had to stay in the dark.
She'd only leave to go to thetoilet.
She wouldn't shower, shewouldn't clean her teeth and
would only eat in her bedroom.
And then her sleep patternsreversed.
(11:01):
She was awake all night andasleep all day.
Leisa Reichelt (11:06):
How were you when all of this was going on,
Jennie?
Jennie Plummer (11:09):
you know what I was more worried about?
The Department of Educationbeing on my back'cause my
brother has a child thatstruggled with School Can't
since kindergarten.
She was two years younger thanmy daughter and they were sent
to court and I was waiting forthat.
I of course was worried about mydaughter but that added
(11:30):
pressure.
It's like you have to get toschool'cause I can't afford for
this to happen, but it's reallysad'cause that took time from me
for my daughter with me worryingabout keeping the school and
Department of Education happy,which shouldn't have been.
But in the end, my GP got amedical certificate and that
(11:52):
covered her.
And it was actually throughlistening to the people from
School Can't that I startedtaking a step back and taking a
completely different approach.
Leisa Reichelt (12:05):
When you found that group and started engaging
in some of the conversationswhat were some of the key things
that were.
Jennie Plummer (12:12):
The big thing was repeatedly to get her
assessed and diagnosed, andthey're saying she sounds like
she does have either ADHD orAutism or both.
And to help support hermentally, and to take all
pressure off, allow her timeaway from school.
(12:33):
Not to listen to family and notto be pressured by the school or
society's expectationsbasically.
And I'm so glad I listened toall those wonderful people with
lived experience because here weare today doing quite well now.
Leisa Reichelt (12:51):
That's fantastic.
So Bethany's kind of in her roomnot doing much at all, you
realized that taking the demandsoff
Jennie Plummer (13:02):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (13:02):
was the key to it.
What was the pathway back towhere she is now from there?
Jennie Plummer (13:07):
It was very slow, baby steps.
My GP, without seeing heractually prescribed Fluoxetine
And put her on a waiting list tosee telehealth psychiatrist,
'cause there's none up here thatwe could access.
That Fluoxetine actually tookthe edge off enough for her to
(13:28):
be receptive to some things.
And one of those things, I knewshe loved horses and her best
friend had horses.
So I leased a horse.
Now it was really baby steps.
I was paying all this money forthe horse and she'd go out maybe
once a week for 10 minutes andjust patted it and brushed it.
(13:49):
But over time she was eventuallyriding it.
Then I bought her her own horse,which just motivated her even
more.
Also the psychiatrist diagnosedher at first with ADHD, and when
she was put on the dexamphetamine that helped her, I
(14:11):
think, like I could see adifference in her mood even with
that.
And if she doesn't take it nowand has rest days, I can see the
difference when she's not on it.
It was very slow.
That's the thing I need toemphasize, that it's not a quick
process.
(14:31):
It is baby steps and sometimessteps backwards.
She then started not going outto the horse, but I backed off
and then before I knew it, shewas asking to go out.
But if I asked her, do you wantto go out to the horse?
It'd make her not want to go.
She said, every time you askedme, I felt I couldn't go, even
if I wanted.
Leisa Reichelt (14:52):
There's that PDA profile, huh?
Jennie Plummer (14:54):
She said, because you told me to, it felt
like a task.
That's her words.
Even though she loved the horse,I made it into a task
accidentally.
Leisa Reichelt (15:04):
Yeah.
I know this is like thisparenting journey, isn't it?
Is that you, you're trying sohard and then you do something
that you think is gonna behelpful and the next thing you
know, you set everyone back halfa dozen steps it is so hard.
Jennie Plummer (15:17):
It's a lot of learning by trial and error and
listening to other people'sstories is really helpful.
Leisa Reichelt (15:24):
And did you have some good professional help
around you as well?
I mean, they got theprescriptions right, which is
great,
Jennie Plummer (15:29):
The first psychiatrist she saw with
telehealth thought that she didhave ADHD, but he wanted her
school reports and of courseprimary school, she did so well.
He said she doesn't meet thecriteria even though we did, I
think it was, uh, a Conners orwhatever it was and she flagged
(15:54):
on that.
He said because of her schoolreports, her high achievement,
she doesn't have ADHD.
But the second psychiatrist justby talking and asking me about
her history and everything.
He goes, oh, she definitely hasADHD and probably Autism as
well, straight away.
Leisa Reichelt (16:15):
Such a gulf isn't there?
Between the professionals whohave seen this more feminine
presentation and the ones whohaven't or haven't recognized
it, like it's just a worldapart, isn't it?
Jennie Plummer (16:26):
It is.
And the second psychiatrist whomshe's still under, he didn't
even ask us to do the Conners oranything like that.
And it wasn't until she ended upin her alternative school that
she got formally assessed withpaperwork,
Leisa Reichelt (16:43):
Hmm.
Jennie Plummer (16:44):
definitely had it.
Leisa Reichelt (16:45):
How long would you say Bethany was going
through this burnout stage?
Jennie Plummer (16:48):
Oh, a good eight months, Well over a year, but
the worst of the worst was eightmonths.
Leisa Reichelt (16:55):
And then at one point she did feel ready to go
back to school.
Jennie Plummer (17:00):
Yes.
Leisa Reichelt (17:01):
What happened there?
Jennie Plummer (17:02):
She had a friend who's autistic as well, and she
started attending a localalternative special assistant
school, and my daughter asked.
Could she go and have a look?
And again, I did the wrong thingand thought, oh no, there's some
(17:22):
bad kids in that school.
And I actually spoke to thedeputy principal at her
mainstream high school, he said,it's full of troubled kids.
They do a good job, but shemight get influenced and become
a criminal.
Anyway, in the end, my daughterwasn't doing anything.
She wouldn't go to TAFE, any ofmy suggestions.
(17:44):
We were going to homeschool andwe were waiting for that
process.
I gave in to her nagging, so tospeak, and went and looked at
the school and had an interview,and I thought, you know what?
This might work.
Before we'll know it, she wasenrolled there and quite happy
Leisa Reichelt (18:04):
What was it about the school that made you
think this might work
Jennie Plummer (18:08):
Just speaking to the staff there, they had a
completely different approach.
They were thinking of mydaughter's mental well being
than just focusing on academicsand you will attend, you will
wear your uniform.
It was an approach I had nevercome across before and I could
see why Bethany might want to gothere.
(18:30):
They talked about the activitiesthey do.
How their day is structured andthat they've got their own
clinical psychologist and theirown educational psychologist.
And I just thought, oh, weshould probably give this a try.
And we never looked back.
It was the best thing.
Leisa Reichelt (18:51):
How's Bethany doing today?
What's life like for her now?
Jennie Plummer (18:54):
She obtained a traineeship in early childhood
education at a local daycarecenter, walking distance from
our house.
She was offered it full-time,but advocated for herself
strongly and said, I want to gopart-time.
She was going four days a week,plus she was working at a local
(19:18):
cafe.
Because at the alternativeschool, she learned, barista
skills and qualifications, andthey actually got her work in a
local cafe.
Anyway, she got this traineeshipand she still works part-time at
the cafe for extra cash andshe's now, this week, been
(19:40):
offered work, part-time toassist her farrier doing his
rounds.
Leisa Reichelt (19:46):
Wow.
Jennie Plummer (19:47):
She finds it hard doing the one thing full
time.
She needs variety and she wentup to four days per week and I
was pushing for five, and shesaid, don't push me, otherwise
I'll end up in burnout and won'tgo to work at all.
And then a psychiatrist said,listen to her, and I did.
(20:11):
Anyway, so she's going threedays a week at the daycare
center and working with thefarrier and the cafe when she
feels she's capable.
She's really excited aboutworking with the farrier, and I
can see that being a secondpermanent part-time thing
Leisa Reichelt (20:30):
Wow.
They find their own way in theend, don't they?
Jennie Plummer (20:33):
Absolutely.
I didn't think she would, butshe
Leisa Reichelt (20:37):
Mm
Jennie Plummer (20:38):
Yeah.
Leisa Reichelt (20:38):
Just following the passions.
Jennie Plummer (20:40):
Yeah, and it wasn't what I was expecting for
her.
I thought that she'd go and doher HSC but I've changed my
thinking, I'm glad that she'shappy doing what she's doing.
I'm really proud of her.
Leisa Reichelt (20:55):
Yeah, I know she probably has learned so much
about herself, but as part ofthis journey, I think we as
parents learn so much as well,don't we?
Jennie Plummer (21:04):
Yes.
'cause the funny thing was Ididn't push my eldest son into
the tertiary education path, buther, I was thinking, there's no
reason why you can't do it.
And now she's talking aboutdoing that eventually.
Under her own terms and pace.
(21:24):
So it's interesting when youback off what happens.
Leisa Reichelt (21:28):
It really is, isn't it really is.
Jennie Plummer (21:30):
i wasn't really strict with her, I was just
encouraging, but that was enoughto put her off and stress her.
Leisa Reichelt (21:38):
Well, that's the thing, isn't it?
Sometimes it is even thepositive reinforcement that can
become pressure.
I know if my son's had a goodweek and I talk about, oh, it's
such a good week, that is likepressure for him to make sure
that next week weighs up to thesame as this week and then that
can make the wheels fall off.
Jennie Plummer (21:54):
Exactly.
And even with pleasureactivities, I can ruin that in a
second,
Leisa Reichelt (22:00):
I completely ruined a movie yesterday.
Like really badly.
Jennie Plummer (22:04):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (22:06):
Accidentally.
Yeah,
Jennie Plummer (22:07):
That it, it's a constant thing with us, but I'm
learning too,
Leisa Reichelt (22:10):
exactly,
Jennie Plummer (22:11):
parenting approach completely now.
Leisa Reichelt (22:14):
My son does tell me.
I'm a very slow learner at thisstuff though.
Jennie Plummer (22:17):
but my daughter, I'm really proud that she can
advocate for herself now.
Before she wouldn't be braveenough to speak up.
Now, she'll tell you.
Leisa Reichelt (22:28):
Such an important skill, isn't it, for
them to be able to do wellthrough their life, to have that
self-advocacy like it's such avaluable skill.
Jennie Plummer (22:36):
That school she went to in the end built that
into her.
They boosted her self-esteem andI noticed when she left there
that she was starting toadvocate for herself and be a
lot braver'Cause she was in fullSchool Can't, she wouldn't even
(22:57):
go to a shop to buy herself achocolate that she really
wanted.
She lacked the confidence to doanything.
So to see her now is justamazing.
Leisa Reichelt (23:07):
Jennie, what's this been like for you?
This has been, a bit of arollercoaster journey.
What's been the impact on yourlife of having to support your
daughter through this?
Jennie Plummer (23:16):
It was a struggle financially, because I
was a shift worker doingrotating rosters that didn't fit
in.
Also the financial cost ofgetting assessments done, even
seeing the GP here, like itwasn't bulk billed then.
(23:38):
And of course we were doing thatevery week that added up.
The other issue was with family.
My extended family did notunderstand at all and were on my
back constantly, so that took atoll mentally.
'Cause your family are meant tobe like supporting you, but they
(24:00):
were doing the opposite.
They made me question myparenting.
But then I brought up thesestepchildren and older children
and I'm thinking, how could Isuddenly with the last one be a
bad parent, you know?
And also it was just stressfultrying to figure out what was
(24:24):
going on, walking on eggshells,everything upset her.
I was trying so hard and Ithought I was being nice
sometimes it wasn't the rightthing and there was constant
stress of not triggeringanything.
My social life suffered becauseI was concentrating on her and
(24:46):
also friends didn't understandwhat was going on.
And then my routine, we livenext to a big river, and I used
to walk alongside the river orgo to the beach.
That all stopped like.
It was all put on hold, whichwasn't good mentally or
physically for me either.
Leisa Reichelt (25:06):
Definitely takes a toll, doesn't it?
It's like your life goes on holdfor a while, doesn't it?
While you just really focus ongetting theirs back on track.
Jennie Plummer (25:14):
Yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (25:14):
Bethany's doing well again.
Now, hopefully you've got alittle bit more time for
yourself.
Jennie Plummer (25:19):
yeah,
Leisa Reichelt (25:19):
Let's just go to our final three closing
questions, if that's alright,Jennie.
Jennie Plummer (25:25):
Yep.
Leisa Reichelt (25:25):
The first one is if you could go back in time and
tell yourself something, whenwould you go back to and what
would you say?
Jennie Plummer (25:32):
I would go back to year five and six in primary
school because that's when thesocial issues started and I
thought it was just puberty.
No, there were problems.
Secondly, should have lookedback and looked at everything.
I was scaffolding.
She couldn't remember to bringanything to school unless I
(25:55):
packed her bag for her.
She wouldn't have known to dohomework, nothing.
And even then, I still got phonecalls from the school saying she
didn't bring her hat.
She can't play in a playground.
And yet I handed the hat to her,which is the ADHD, like she was
so unorganized at home andwouldn't follow multi-step
(26:19):
instructions.
And I scaffolded by giving oneand two steps, but didn't have a
conscious thought about that atall.
But now I can see what it was.
The other thing I would do wasget diagnosis earlier, like even
if I didn't think she had it,still, go ahead and seek
(26:41):
professional help.
And the other thing is, and themost important thing is have a
introspective approach.
Have a look at yourself, yourown ideas, your own expectations
and have a good think.
Uh, am I pushing my own agendaonto my daughter?
(27:07):
am I wanting her to do this,this, and this?
That's my goals, not hers.
That's a big one.
Leisa Reichelt (27:15):
It's a hard one to step away from though, isn't
it?
Jennie Plummer (27:17):
and also to realize that success isn't going
to uni and having lots of money.
Success is getting by withinyour means happily and with your
mental health intact.
Leisa Reichelt (27:35):
Absolutely, a hundred percent.
So, Jennie, if there was onething that you could say to
everyone who's listening, who'son their own School Can't
journey, what would you, whatwould you like them to know?
Jennie Plummer (27:45):
Like I just touched on, listen to your
child, support their mentalhealth.
Don't be pressured by family orsociety.
Go with your gut.
Like a lot of times I eventuallywent with my gut and it was
correct.
Don't panic.
(28:06):
'cause given the right support,your child will come out of this
eventually and they will findtheir own path.
But be prepared for it to be notthe path you had envisioned for
them.
It's their life, their story,and they'll find their own way.
Leisa Reichelt (28:29):
Those are very wise words.
And then just in terms ofresources, can you tell us about
a, a resource or a couple ofresources if you like, that
you've used on this journey thatyou think everyone should know
about?
Jennie Plummer (28:42):
Well, the greatest resource was this one,
like the School Can't listeningto the stories of people with
lived experience.
It was invaluable, and it wasonly through them that I got her
assessed, that I allowed her therest in her room and got medical
(29:03):
certificates.
They were my constant sourcereally, of support and wonderful
information.
When we were going down thehomeschooling path, people gave
me heaps of information withthat.
Just very helpful.
The other thing is don'tdisregard your GP.
(29:24):
Our GP was fantastic, really,really good.
Leisa Reichelt (29:29):
Did, did you want to name drop the school at
all or,
Jennie Plummer (29:33):
Nautilus College at Port Macquarie.They were
fantastic.
Can't speak more highly..
Leisa Reichelt (29:40):
Well it's an amazing story, Jennie.
Thank you so much for sharing itwith us, and I'm really glad to
hear that Bethany's doing sowell today.
I hope, I hope you do reallywell also.
Jennie Plummer (29:51):
Okay.
Thank you so much.
I hope it helps people.
Leisa Reichelt (29:54):
I'm sure it absolutely will.
Well, that was a wonderfulstory, wasn't it?
And if you've heard a few ofthese lived experience episodes
by now, I bet you are alsopicking up on the recurring
themes of trusting your gut as aparent, trusting and really
hearing your young person whenthey're telling us that
something is not right.
And how good is it to hearstories of our School Can't
young people finding their wayback to thriving in the world
(30:15):
again.
We hope to share many more livedexperience episodes.
And if you have a School Can'tstory that you would like to
share, please email us atschoolcantpodcast@gmail.com.
That's one wordschoolcantpodcast@gmail.com.
We've put a link to the SchoolCan't Australia website and
Facebook community that Jennierecommended in the episode notes
(30:36):
and also a link to donate toSchool Can't Australia.
Your tax deductible donationsassist us to raise community
awareness, partner withresearchers, produce resources
like webinars, and this podcast,which all assist people who are
supporting children and youngpeople experiencing School
Can't.
If you are a parent or carer inAustralia and you are feeling
(30:58):
distressed, remember you canalways call the parent helpline
in your state.
A link with the number to callis in the show notes.
Thanks again for listening, andwe will talk again soon.
Take care.
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