Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you are listening
to this, chances are like us.
At times you struggle withlimiting beliefs, doubting
yourself, little voice in yourhead telling you you shouldn't
try that thing, you shouldn't doit, you're not good enough.
If that is you, then thisepisode is for you this is the
Secret Sauce Podcast with ChadTreese and Lacey Moores, where
(00:21):
we want to help people build bigbusinesses and live big lives,
and we think that there's not amagic bullet for doing that, but
there is a secret sauce.
So a lot of these are going tobe just the ingredients that can
help you make up a secret sauceto build a big business and
live a big life.
Let's get into it.
Welcome back to the SecretSauce Podcast.
I am Chad Treese here withLacey Moores.
(00:41):
Today we're talking aboutlimiting beliefs, which is
something I'm super excitedabout.
I think it, for most people candefinitely relate to this one.
I think, if you're human, youhave a little voice inside of
your head.
We're actually not born thatway, but pretty much anybody
beyond infanthood does strugglewith limiting beliefs, and so I
(01:03):
just want to talk about it, getit out in the open.
We talk a little bit about whywe have limiting beliefs, the
science behind it, which isreally important, then to
understand how to get over itand how to crush those limiting
beliefs.
When they come up, you want tojump into it.
Speaker 2 (01:18):
Let's do it, I'm
excited.
Speaker 1 (01:19):
Let's do it.
I want to start with a story.
If you would amuse me for asecond Sure, but if you would
amuse me for a second Sure, butif you've heard the story of the
elephant and the rope, it's aparable, not a biblical parable,
but a parable nonetheless.
Yeah, go, the elephant and therope.
So there's a man walkingthrough the jungle to an
elephant camp, going to visit anelephant camp, and the adult
(01:41):
elephants are there, completelyuncaged, nothing keeping them
there, chains, no cages, nothing.
They could, their freedom isinsight they can take off
whenever they want, except for avery small rope tied around one
leg.
You got the picture now.
So he asked uh, one of the um,not guides, but one of the
(02:05):
elephant trainers asked like why, what in the world keeps them
here?
There's no, you know, there'sno chains, there's there's no
cages, what keeps them?
And he's like, well, whenthey're really young, um, we tie
that rope to their legs and atvery young age, that's enough to
keep them right where they areand they, they try to break free
from it.
They can't, they're not strongenough yet.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
At that time it's
tied up to something.
Speaker 1 (02:29):
It's still tied up to
something, even and uh, but
they could break free and like.
These are massive elephants.
Right, they could break free atany moment.
But because it's tied on at avery young age, they never
understand.
They never come to understandthat they're strong enough to
break free from that.
It's something that chains thembasically for the rest of their
life and they don't even try.
Speaker 2 (02:50):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (02:50):
And to me that's a
limiting.
That's where, like, that's aperfect metaphor for limiting
beliefs.
Yeah, because it does start,and we'll jump right into the
science of it, but it does startat a very young age.
We're not born that way, we areborn believing we can do
anything.
Right, that's our defaultsetting as humans is that we
(03:11):
could do whatever we set ourmind to, and then it's trained
out of us, which is sad, butit's the human experience, right
, there's no avoiding that, solet's just talk about it.
But where do limiting beliefscome from?
Speaker 2 (03:23):
Okay.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
And they typically
come from childhood conditioning
.
Yeah, most of the time it's inchildhood, just like the
elephant just like right, um,it's.
somebody said something at onepoint in time uh, why would you
try to do that?
Or why would like?
That dream's too big.
Or you're not good enough toplay for this team.
You're not tall enough, you'renot pretty enough.
(03:44):
You're whatever it is, you'renot good enough to play for this
team.
You're not tall enough, you'renot pretty enough.
Whatever it is, you're notenough.
Yep, right.
And then that haunts us for therest of our life.
That's that little voice in ourhead that, as we try to do
something, says you're remember,you're not that, you're not
enough, so that's the best we're.
Limiting beliefs come from.
A lot of times it's trauma orfailure.
(04:04):
So maybe somebody didn't tellyou something, but you tried
something, you failed, and thenfor the rest of your life, the
rest of your experience isremembering that trauma of
losing or failing and you don'ttry it anymore.
You're just like that's okay, Icouldn't do that.
Now I can't do that.
And you tell yourself I can't dothat anymore because I tried it
and I couldn't do it.
Speaker 2 (04:22):
So I'm having some
major conviction here, because
on another podcast you asked meto sing and I told you I
wouldn't sing.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Are you going to sing
for?
Speaker 2 (04:29):
us.
I'm not going to sing.
But the reason I'm not going tosing is because when I was a
young kid I tried out for choirin elementary every year and
they posted that little sheetand I never made it and I just,
and I'm okay with it.
I'm good at other things but tomyself I'm not a singer.
Like people don't want to hearme sing, Like it's not good, and
(04:51):
you're just saying all thosethings and I'm like man, I, if I
really wanted to be a singer, Icould have gotten voice lessons
, I could have done all thesethings.
But it is definitely caused bythat one instance and I can even
tell you the teacher's name.
And my sister made it everyyear and I didn't, and like all
these things wrapped around menot making choir that's so sad.
Speaker 1 (05:13):
I'm so sorry, I'm
okay, you've grown into
wonderful, without saying you'restill really great.
So, um, but no, I I mean it's agreat example and um, it's sad
when you think about it like itis sad that the you know,
everybody has a story like that.
Everybody has lots of storieslike that.
Because it's typically not onething.
(05:33):
Thanks for sharing that, by theway, but these are what make up
who we are as people.
These ingrained patterns in ourbrain that we learn at a young
age, then we experience and thenwe hold on to them forever and
uh.
So limiting beliefs are verynormal first and foremost, like
understand that, likeeverybody's got them, yep, um,
(05:54):
but just accepting that and thennot doing anything about it, it
would be foolish too, I think.
So like yes, let's explore.
Here's what they are, here'swhy we have them this is now,
how do we?
yeah, overcome it, let's goright.
Um, we've talked a little bitabout the reticular.
A reticular activating systemsystem as well the raz system
(06:14):
right in your brain.
Another reason why we havelimiting beliefs right is
because our brain feeds on whatwe feed it like.
It continues to make it biggerand bigger right, so so that's
that same concept and thereticular activating system says
because you couldn't dosomething at one point in time,
or somebody told you youcouldn't do it, or you had this
thought like maybe I can't dothat, your brain starts to focus
(06:36):
on that and will remind you.
you said maybe you couldn't dothat at one point in time.
So the reticular activatingsystem is really great at times
it also can hinder us a littlebit.
So just having that knowledgeand knowing okay, that's what
that voice is inside my head itdoesn't necessarily make it real
right.
Most of the time it's not Right, you know.
Speaker 2 (06:54):
Yeah, I always call
it the little man voice.
Speaker 1 (06:57):
Yeah, yep, I'm trying
to keep you little.
There's value in listening to it.
You can't push out every singlething.
Like you have intuition, yep,there's intuition, and then
there's a little man voice anddeciphering which one is, which,
like I get it like our brainsare also hardwired to keep us
away from things that could hurt, cause us danger.
Yeah, exactly, pain, right.
(07:17):
So, um, that's another thingthat our brain and our bodies
tries to tell us to avoid,because, you know when, when we
were cavemen, there's a lot ofthings that could kill us at any
given time, and so that's anatural instinct that we do.
We do create those patterns,and so there is some value in
listening to some things, butthere's a ton of value in
knowing what to push out, whatis a limiting belief and what is
(07:39):
positive intuition, right?
So let's talk about how, how dowe, how do we, how do we, what
do we actually do with thisinformation, right, right, um, I
think, most importantly, yougot to identify what the rope,
what your rope is Like if wetake it back to the elephant in
the rope.
What's your rope?
Uh, what, what is that thingthat's holding you back?
What is the limiting belief andwhere does it come from?
(08:00):
You do have to.
Um, it can be a painful like Idon't know if it was super
painful for you to talk aboutthat story about choir, right,
but there's gonna be some thingsthat are even bigger than that
and it's like man, I didn't, Idid not do that thing and that's
kind of painful, but, uh, yougotta live in it, you gotta lean
into it a little bit tounderstand where it came from.
Um, so you can do somethingabout it.
(08:21):
And so you don't repeat thatbecause, like we're parents,
right, and uh, knowing it andactually understanding it, we
can change the cycle too.
Um, I think about it with kidsall the time.
Like, raising my kids is likeokay, is the message that I'm
giving them, trying to parentthem away from something that
could hurt them?
Is that creating a limitingbelief in them that will harm
(08:43):
them later on in life?
Man, that's kind of heavy, butit's real.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
It is real.
You're getting emotional.
Speaker 1 (08:50):
No, you're good, go
for it.
Let me tell you a little story.
I don't mind.
Speaker 2 (08:53):
When I graduated from
my coaching program, that
morning I got a text messagefrom my dad and it was very
heartfelt how proud he is.
My dad's always been my numberone fan and encourager and
always has told me like, you cando what like whatever you think
, lacey, you have the skills.
(09:14):
He's always been my biggestcheerleader.
And so I posted something thatmorning or that night whenever I
after I went to this graduationfrom this really hard program,
and I put a picture of my dadand I shared his message and I
said just the impact that he'shad on me and so many people ask
like, where does yourconfidence come from?
Where does like all of thiscome from?
(09:35):
And I was blessed to have justan amazing father who was so
good about all these things.
And then somebody posted onthere there who I know very well
, who's actually related to me,and she said, man, this is
incredible.
She goes.
I just think about what my lifewould be like if I had your dad
and it rocked me.
Speaker 1 (09:58):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (09:59):
It rocked me Cause it
broke my heart too.
You know, like I, I'm soblessed to have him, but so many
people don't have him right,and it's such a powerful thing
for our kids to hear what youknow, not inflict all of these
limiting beliefs on them whenthey're young.
(10:19):
We have to protect them andkeep them from harm, but we
don't have to do all of that,and sometimes it's natural
because it's what's ever beendone to us.
Speaker 1 (10:27):
Right, yeah, so good
it's.
Uh, I think it's still it'sdefinitely worth discussing,
Like it can be a little heavy attimes, but still like you have
time to disrupt that patternright.
Like, yeah, I probably have.
My kids are eight and 10, aboutto turn nine and 11.
And I know there's times in mylife where I've tried to protect
them from something thatprobably created this little
(10:50):
inkling of a thought that wouldlater on maybe in life, become a
limiting belief.
That's life, that is, it'sgoing to happen, right.
We just want to have less ofthat then have that be something
that is like haunting themlater on in life and we have a
chance, like if we explore it,we actually have a chance to
undo it, yeah, to do better,right.
(11:11):
So, um, I didn't bring it up tolike bring down the mood.
I actually brought it up becauseamazing um, like it is worth
exploring and doing better whenwe can and like, even in that
experience, like whoever saidthat to you, right, just
understanding that that existed,like she can start to break
free from that If she did havelimiting beliefs.
That also your dad doing thatfor you probably did that
(11:33):
realization of, oh yes, would mylife have maybe been different
if I had somebody like that?
Yes, but now you saying it,maybe she raises kids, maybe she
has grandkids, they have kids,whatever.
There's so many ripple effectsof it that it's so good to bring
it to the forefront and it'snot like, oh, I had this, you
(11:55):
didn't type thing Right.
So I think identifying the rope, identifying what the limiting
belief, is super, superimportant.
Speaker 2 (12:03):
What's your when it?
Speaker 1 (12:04):
happens whenever
you're in, like okay,
questioning, can I do this thing?
Are you cut out for this?
Are you good enough for thatthing?
You have to acknowledge it,like if you just say, yeah,
you're right, I can't.
But so you got to start lookingfor it, like, okay, what is it
and where is it coming from?
Like, what experience is,where's that voice coming from
(12:25):
and why is it doing it?
Right, um, and then you have tochallenge that narrative,
challenge the story, uh, is.
The next step of that is you areresponding.
You are in charge of your life,not this little voice, not
somebody who a long time ago,told you that maybe you couldn't
do this thing.
So now that you've recognizedit and you understand, maybe,
why you have that limitingbelief, now you've got to
(12:46):
challenge it.
It's like, no, I can do thisthing.
I am in charge of my future.
Nobody's going to tell me Ican't do this thing.
Like, use it as a challenge,right, so it's every time that
comes up, okay, how can I flipthat script fast?
Because it's very easy to getin that mode of you're right, I
shouldn't try it.
I'm going to go back to safetymode.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
You know.
So it's so good because yousaid earlier, you can't make
that voice go away.
It will never go away.
No matter how much you practiceall this stuff, you're never
going to make it go away.
But what you can learn to do isnot listen to it.
So be quickly to identifythat's a little voice.
I'm not paying attention to youtoday.
I'm not going to listen to youtoday because it's always going
(13:29):
to be there.
But it's whether or not youdecide if I want to listen to
you, if I'm going to give youany space in my mind.
Speaker 1 (13:35):
Yeah, you can turn it
into.
I think you can turn it into apositive.
It's like when somebody tellsme I can't do a thing now as an
adult, right, when somebody elsetells me, now if I tell myself
I can't do a thing, that's bad,somebody else tells me I can't
do a thing, then I'm like fuckyou, yes, I can.
And now I cussed again explicit.
We got to mark it explicit,carson.
Uh, but that's my mindset onthat Right.
(13:57):
If, like when somebody elsetells me you're not good enough
for that or I I I doubt youcould do that, then I'm like
watch me watch me right.
The same thing If that littlevoice in your head when you have
to challenge it.
the same way if you're thatlittle voice inside your head
says you're not good enough forthat thing.
Say, if you watch me, I'll showyou Right, so that's good.
(14:17):
Stand up to the challenge,right, use it as inspiration,
motivation.
And then you got to take action, like quick action on it.
Because if you sit there inthought, wondering, sooner or
later you'll convince yourselfthat that thought is true.
Right, so immediately recognizeit, say, screw that.
And then go take an actiontowards it.
(14:39):
Doesn't mean like, oh, I, youknow, I'm going to in your
example, like I'm going tobecome a great singer.
Taking action doesn't mean likeyou're like right now, if you
start singing you're not gonnabe great.
But if you immediately say,okay, I'm going to work on that,
I'm going to go hire a voicecoach, I'm going to do these
things like take action on thatthing immediately, okay, because
(15:00):
that starts to rewire yourbrain a different way.
When you start to take actionagainst these thoughts that you
have, you're rewiring your brainthat you can do this thing
Right, and then the voice doesstart to change a little bit.
So the thoughts that you putinto your head definitely start
to rewire your brain for thepositive, not the negative.
Speaker 2 (15:16):
Right, that's really
good too, because I think some
people think that you can'trewire you can absolutely rewire
your brain.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
Yeah, I mean, it's
the whole reason why you have
these thoughts in the firstplace.
You're born without it, right?
And then you're creating thispattern that starts to lay down
layers in your brain.
But neuroscience tells us youcan absolutely rewire your brain
.
But it does take effort.
It does take acknowledgingwhat's going on.
Sure, so it's.
It's.
It's super exciting.
To me.
(15:42):
It's like studying the way thatthe mind works and everything.
Um, I I used to not care aboutthis stuff at all, and now I
probably dive into it too much,but the more that you learn
about them or you understand,it's like oh yeah, absolutely.
You can lay down all newpatterns.
You could rewire the way thatyou're.
You talk to yourself.
Speaker 2 (15:58):
So just basically,
like back to my very plain um
thing I said in the beginningabout not being able to sing.
Well, I could go out and getvoice lessons, I could teach,
like go through learning how tosing, which would then maybe
help me sing better, and then ifI ever went down that path of
(16:18):
trying to sing for true, youknow, whatever it is it is I
could completely rewire my brainfor my brain to think that I'm
actually a good singer.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
Yeah, cause you're
right that right now.
Speaker 2 (16:26):
But I'm just saying
you're, you're saying we could,
we could.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, your brain
doesn't live in a world where
things are true or not true.
Your brain lives in a worldwhere it understands, uh, what
you feed it.
Does that make sense, Yep?
So you, you definitely have tofeed it the right things.
If you lean into the thingsthat's feeding that limiting
belief, it's going to get biggerand bigger and bigger.
You're going to get crippled byit and you're going to have
more limiting beliefs, Likeyou're literally just like
(16:51):
feeding the gremlin aftermidnight and it's just getting
bigger.
Speaker 2 (16:55):
There's more of them
right.
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, the fact of the
matter is, science says that
action rewires the brain fasterthan thoughts.
Speaker 2 (17:01):
So taking action on
it right away.
Speaker 1 (17:04):
That's good.
So it reminds me of a story andit's a little sad, but I don't
want to bring it down.
But I do think stories areimportant.
And so I've talked about my sonbefore Cohen.
He is 10.
When he was 8.
I think 8.
He got 10.
(17:24):
When he was eight I think eight,he got cut from a baseball team
.
I'm going to get emotional fora second, I'm sorry.
Like that's not the sad part.
The sad part is what it did tohim.
Yeah, because he's on a schoolteam with his buddies, right,
right, and he had a coach tellhim you're not good enough.
Yep, and I was preparing forthis episode, wanting to tell
(17:50):
this example, and it occurred tome that, like, what a failure
on that adult's part.
Right, to allow that, to caremore about winning a couple
games at eight, nine years old,when a school team, right, with
(18:11):
their buddies, chances are a lotof these guys may, may or not
go pro.
I'm not trying to tell themyou're not.
I'm trying to.
Not trying to plant thatlimiting belief, right, right,
but to plant that limitingbelief in a kid at eight or nine
, yeah, that could later onaffect everything.
Right, it tears down theconfidence, yeah, right and now
(18:32):
he starts he'll question himselfon stuff.
I see his lack, lack ofconfidence and it comes from
other people telling them youcan't do that or you shouldn't
try that or you're not goodenough, and uh, it's a really
good reminder for me because Icoached his basketball team too,
and I now coach his newbaseball team and sometimes I'm
too hard.
Sometimes, like I, I don't lookat that as an opportunity to
(18:56):
teach the lesson that, like you,can absolutely do this and the
responsibility that we have asadults yeah to not implant
limiting beliefs in kids to notlike plant that tiny little seed
that could grow into somethinghuge later on right so sorry, I
got it's good, it's real butthat's, yeah, a good reminder,
(19:18):
hopefully out there to everybody.
Listening is like you have anopportunity to flip the script
you have an opportunity, even ifyou are riddled with limiting
belief in yourself.
Yes, let's work on fixing thatright right uh, but also we have
a responsibility to the younger.
Yeah, to not plant those seats,right, right, uh, so that was a
(19:39):
big one.
Um, and I think I think aboutdifferent limiting beliefs, like
in our industries, right, Ithink there's a lot of people
that say I can't.
I can't do like robin, like Ican't be like rob Robin, who
does it all our national EVP ofsales, I can't be a great mom
(20:00):
and I can't crush it in thisbusiness.
I can't do it all, I can't havework-life balance, I can't be
great at everything, and I thinkthat is a huge limiting belief
that people just buy into.
But the fact of the matter isyou definitely can, right, if
you want it bad enough, youdefinitely can.
Speaker 2 (20:19):
But we're told at an
early age, like you have to have
work-life balance, or you'renot willing to You're not a good
mom if you're working, like allof the things.
That Robin for me was hugebecause she told me I can, and
in a world of all of thosethings, and I was trying to be
very careful to make sure that Iwas a good mom and I was a good
(20:39):
spouse and and a good mortgage,you know, and all those things
and and finally, you know beingaround somebody who says you can
right.
You can do it.
Speaker 1 (20:48):
You can definitely do
it so.
So I think the message there issurround yourself with people
that are giving you, likefeeding, the right information
and right Um, no matter whereyou are in life.
A kid, if you're raising kids.
Wherever you are in life,surround yourself with people
that are going to put the goodin.
They're going to tell you thatyou're capable of anything that
(21:09):
don't feed into those limitingbeliefs.
And if you've got somebody inyour life that they're a
constant reminder of the thingsthat you shouldn't try or maybe
can't do, it might be time tocut them out.
Right, or you either got tochange them or you got to cut
them out because it's notserving you at all.
I think about with overcominglimited beliefs.
One thing I wanted to like justleave probably leave the
(21:30):
conversation with is one bigthing for me is when I'm not
taking the risks that I think Ishould be taking or I'm not
doing the thing, I'm letting thelimiting beliefs win, which
happens a decent amount.
I'm just being honest, um, I Ihave to remind myself if there
was, if this was, aautobiography movie of my life
(21:53):
and it's played for my kidslater on what would they think
of that?
Would they look at that and bereally jazzed up?
Would they be excited aboutlooking at their dad?
And is this story a powerfulone that they could look at and
say look at my dad overcomingthis thing or look at him
succumbing to this thing.
(22:14):
Is it something that lifts themup?
Or is it something that, likelater on in life, I'm I'm
setting that pattern for them tobe able to do it like?
Show the show that generation,show the kids that are starting
to get their own limitingbeliefs that you can break
through.
That, um, is such a greatlesson, and and so I think
that's the easiest way for me isto think about like my life as
(22:35):
either a story, a book or amovie, and is it something that
I'll be proud of?
Is it something that, whenthey're watching it, that I'm
like, super proud that they getto see that in me More times
than not?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
right.
You're not gonna be perfectevery day, but just to live with
that intention, right?
Well, I think it.
I mean, that's just a testament, though, to you, chad, that you
, you're always wanting to bebetter.
I mean this is a testament,though, to you, chad, that
you're always wanting to bebetter, you're always wanting to
grow and you're always wantingto look into areas that need it.
Speaker 1 (23:02):
But I wasn't always
that way right.
This has actually been a changefor me in the last few years.
So I think there's a lot ofpeople who have a limiting
belief like I don't, like that'snot me, right, it was me for a
long time.
I had this limiting belief that, like I don't believe in uh,
human, like human developmentand growth, like it's kind of
hokey to me and like I had thatlimiting belief Like I didn't
(23:22):
want to lean into that, um andso I think, like that has not
always been me, but it is superpowerful.
When you do and you lean intothat, uh, the sky is the limit.
The ripple effects are huge.
Be that person, be that examplefor your kids, for the people
around you.
That's when life, that's wherethe magic starts.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
And it's where the
color is.
It's where the color is.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
Exactly, there's a
whole lot of color there.
Speaker 2 (23:46):
A lot of color.
Speaker 1 (23:47):
That's where probably
I would leave it.
Speaker 2 (23:50):
I don't know if I
brought it to a great conclusion
there.
That was amazing.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
Yeah, limiting
beliefs, yeah, limiting beliefs.
Do not listen to them, do not,do not, do not push through.
Break through.
There's a whole lot more on theother side and don't push them
on to other people either anddon't be that person that pushes
them to other people.
Speaker 2 (24:04):
Thank you yeah, amen,
awesome guys.
Thanks for listening.
Speaker 1 (24:08):
Uh, thanks for
listening to me cry for a little
bit, but uh, I appreciate youbeing here absolutely uh and I
sure hope that we'll see you ina few weeks.
Speaker 2 (24:16):
Yeah, and if this was
impactful to you, please share
it.
Please share this story because, man, you know we all have
those stories and sometimes it'sjust good to hear somebody
else's and then reallyinternalize on that.
So we would love for people toshare this if this was something
that was impactful for you.
Speaker 1 (24:31):
Yeah.
Or a challenge Share in thecomments somewhere what limiting
belief, like now that you'reexploring it, what is like your
choir, like you kind of came tothat revelation right then.
Right, like if you had arevelation from this, like what
was that moment?
Uh, I'd love it to share it.
Or a moment where you can seeyour kids, or whatever it is
like do it, let's share it umand let's break through it my
(24:52):
other one was roller skating.
Speaker 2 (24:53):
I've never been good
at roller skating, and now I'm
going to pick one.
But I'm either going to comeout of this conversation Chad,
I'm going to learn to be a goodsinger or a good roller skater.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
I can't wait to hear
which one you choose.
Speaker 2 (25:04):
That one might not be
very safe in my age, um, but
one of them, and I'm going toget over all those limiting
beliefs and I'm going to go forit and learn something new.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Awesome.
I love it.
Thank you so much.
We'll see you next time, guys.