July 11, 2025 • 53 mins
In this MILESTONE episode, J.Mix celebrates 100 episodes with a special appearance by her longtime friend and OG guest, Free, by clearing the air about the happenings of their highschool's problematic past. Additionally, J.Mix shares her plans on sustaining a podcast and balancing it with life’s evolving demands.
Give Free some flowers! Follow her @afrofoodiac on IG
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Producer(s): J.Mix + Lefty Lucy
Sound editor(s): Ben Ross + Theo Fogleman + J.Mix
Video editor(s): Ben Ross + J.Mix
Music by J.Mix
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Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_01 (00:02):
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It's 2019.
The year Game of Thrones endedon a terrible note.
The year Lil Nas X became ahousehold name.
Beyonce headlining Coachella.
(01:29):
Hot Girl Summer.
Euphoria debuted.
Disney Plus.
Rise and Shine.
Kylie Jenner.
And the president, at the time,got impeached.
This was also the year I decidedthat I would start a podcast.
And not just any podcast.
A podcast where I could letloose and chat unapologetically
(01:52):
with open-minded individualsabout the taboo, the
uncomfortable, and the downrightforbidden topics that have
challenged my mind to reachinfinite possibilities in my
life and career.
I was ready to break somecycles.
So I called up one of my goodfriends, Free, for moral
support.
And I invited her to be thefirst guest.
(02:14):
And the rest is history.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome back to the Self-WordMillennial.
I am your host, J-Mix, and todaywe are celebrating 100 episodes.
UNKNOWN (02:33):
Hello.
SPEAKER_01 (02:34):
It feels out of body to say that at the current
moment, only because it doesn'tfeel like a hundred episodes per
se.
And I'm hoping that within thisepisode that I can, even though
we won't be talking about fullyabout like the whole hundred
episode thing, I want to reflecton these last hundred episodes,
(02:54):
even though I don't feel likewe've had a hundred episodes.
By the way, if you are watchingon YouTube or anywhere with
visuals, my friend Free, who hasbeen My friend for a very long
time since high school, thefirst guest of the Self-Wore
Millennial back in 2020, beforethe pandemic, before everything
just kind of turned upside down,Free has been there and is back
(03:19):
after five years, and I'm sohappy that you are here.
Oh
SPEAKER_00 (03:21):
my God.
Five years?
When you say it out loud, it'slike, what?
Five?
It's been that long?
SPEAKER_01 (03:30):
Like you'd be blinking.
Like, I don't know.
I feel like the older we get,the faster life just seems to
go.
Again, yeah, it doesn't feellike five years, but it has been
that long because I rememberwhen I started this and I
remember where I was mentally.
And so I invited Free for thisepisode.
Mostly because it is an homageto our first episode, but also
(03:54):
within the next episode thatwe're chatting about, we're
going to be talking about moreof the themes of what we talked
about in episode one.
I had filmed episode 100 bymyself and I just wasn't feeling
it.
I tried to do it last week and Iwas just like, this is just not
it.
I'm at a point in my life rightnow where I do need a little bit
of handholding.
(04:14):
I'm just going to say it.
I feel like I need support.
And being a host of a podcast byyourself, I know so many
podcasts that have co-hosts and,you know, just extra people to
just kind of keep the bantergoing.
But I think right now I needthat.
Not saying that I need aco-host.
I would love a co-host at somepoint, I think.
But right now, like, I just needat least someone else.
(04:35):
And trying to do an episode onthe 100th episode by yourself is
a lot.
Doing episodes on your own is alot.
So...
I have Free here because Freehas been on this journey, even
though she hasn't been heresince 2020.
She has been on this journey andshe has seen how it has
transcended since I started backin 2020.
(04:56):
And so I felt like who is moreappropriate to reflect on it
with me.
Thank you.
Thank you for being here
SPEAKER_00 (05:05):
to
SPEAKER_01 (05:05):
do that.
No, thank
SPEAKER_00 (05:05):
you for inviting me back.
Oh, my God.
I love the podcast.
First of all, self-awaremillennial.
What more could you say aboutthat?
Everybody, especially in timeslike these, self-awareness, we
need that.
So for you to bring it to themasses, thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (05:22):
You're welcome.
I know the first conversationthat we had was, I think I
believe I asked you if you werea self-aware person and you told
me that you were self-aware toknow that you didn't know
everything.
That's what you said.
Yeah.
And, you know, it really stuckwith me and it still sticks with
(05:44):
me to this day.
And I still feel that way aswell.
But I think now I feel like myself-awareness evolves because
what I thought wasself-awareness back in 2020
versus now, I think it's alittle different.
Just in the ways of like when Iwas when I was thinking about
(06:04):
self-awareness back then, it waslike, oh, I'm thinking about
myself.
I'm thinking about myself.
What I need in the moment, I'mthinking presently really,
knowing who I am, my boundaries,knowing what I like, what I
don't like.
And I think now, I still believethose things, but I think
(06:25):
self-awareness now for me isalso giving myself grace to just
be wrong, And admit that I'mwrong.
I think self-awareness is alsolike being able to admit your
mistakes.
I think it has more to do withlike when you realize you did
(06:47):
something wrong, takingaccountability for it.
So I feel like that's not wheremy head was back then.
I think I was still learning howto be wrong and be wrong in a,
not in a righteous way, but justin a way.
I know it sounds socontradictory.
But Yeah, so this episode, we'rereally just going to be
(07:09):
reflecting on the last fiveyears of this podcast and where
it has gone, where I think it'sgoing after we hit the hundreds,
and how I feel as though it'llbe sustainable, how I can
sustain it, considering that Ifeel like my life has been
changing.
(07:31):
And that's inevitable.
And the podcast has to kind ofchange with that.
And it's not going to be thesame podcast as it was five
years ago, three years ago, twoyears ago.
Because my life is always goingto be different.
It's always going to bechanging.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
(07:51):
That's a lot.
So...
One thing I can probably...
So Free is...
I think Free is going to kind ofact as the representative for
the rest of y'all, the listenersand people who are viewing, who
have been following this podcastfor a while and may have
questions and maybe curiositiesabout how I've kept it going
despite certain obstacles andthings that have happened in my
(08:14):
life throughout the duration ofthe podcast.
I'm thinking right now, the onething I think about is...
When I quit World War II Museum,that was a big one.
I remember talking about thatand that being a big deal.
I mean, all the pandemic times,I brought on a lot of my roller
skate friends at that time.
But that was, again, that wasall in 2020.
I feel like 2021, we still hadpodcast episodes in those other
(08:39):
years, but it started to dwindledown because life was becoming
back to post-pandemic times andI had Less time to focus on the
podcast.
So, I don't know.
I feel like...
I don't know what I feel likeright now.
(09:03):
And that's okay.
That's okay.
Yeah.
So, Free.
Like I said, RepresentativeFree.
Also representative of the restof y'all.
What has been some like topicsthat we have covered on the
podcast that have struck you orthat have maybe that you found
(09:28):
memorable over the last fiveyears?
Even if it doesn't have to belike a topic that maybe you it
could be a topic.
It could be like a guest that Ibrought on.
It could be anything.
I'm just curious because likeit's hard.
I'm asking this because.
As the host and as someone thatbasically just kind of does it
and I receive the information, Idon't always fully get a chance
(09:50):
to hear the opinions of others.
And if I do, it's kind of arandom conversation and it's
never in a full depth analysis,which is fine.
I'm not looking for that, but Ithink for me, and I've always
mentioned this on the podcast, Ilike reassurance and I'm like
(10:12):
a...
My love language is words ofaffirmation.
So that's how I receive.
And yeah, I'm just curious.
Sorry, that was a really longquestion.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
No, you're perfectly fine.
You've touched on a lot oftopics over the years.
One that stood out to me becausethat was one of the episodes
that I really learned something.
One of the topics, I know it wasLGBTQ+.
And I think the topic went on topolyamorous relationships.
(10:48):
I forget what episode that is,but it was a while back.
It was you and maybe like maybeone or two other guests.
It might have been the
SPEAKER_01 (10:54):
one that I did with Andre, Susanna and Andre, I
think.
Maybe.
Maybe.
I think so.
Maybe.
I think that might have been it.
Oh, God.
It may not be their names.
I apologize if I said y'allnames wrong, but I know the
girl's name was Susanna.
Anyway.
Hey, at least you got names Ican't remember,
SPEAKER_00 (11:12):
right?
I'm surprised I rememberanything half the time.
But that one stood out to mebecause I actually learned
something.
So I was not familiar withpolyamory other than, okay, this
one...
There's the main relationship.
Then you got the girlfriend ofthis one and the boyfriend of
(11:32):
that one.
And it's like a wholeconversation that has to happen.
And I was just like, what isthis?
But when I listened to thepodcast and you broke it down
and you really explained thewhole nuances and the dynamics
of the relationship and howconsent and honesty is a big
part of that to where this isnot just a...
(11:55):
Excuse my language.
Cluster F.
It makes
SPEAKER_01 (12:00):
sense.
Oh, I can?
Yeah, you can.
UNKNOWN (12:03):
Yes!
SPEAKER_01 (12:05):
Oh, I guess that wasn't a thing when we started
this podcast.
No, you can now.
Oh, yes, we've evolved.
Yes, we have evolved.
I'll bleep it out.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
You know, as somebody who is not familiar
with that, because that's not myreality, so you come into it I'm
not going to lie, with anignorant lens.
Yeah.
Because you have a preconceivednotion of what you think a
polyamorous relationship is inthe confines of a monogamous
relationship.
(12:35):
And you know within a monogamousrelationship, it's kind of like,
okay, it's just me and myperson.
There's a level ofpossessiveness there.
And I don't want anybody toimpede on that.
Versus what I learned from it, Iwas like, okay, this is...
It's still a...
It still has some of the, Iguess, rules, if you will, of a
(12:59):
monogamous relationship.
Yeah, it can.
But it's kind of like you getdifferent things from each
person within it, if that makessense.
It's kind of like your normalrelationship, say, with friends.
Say, okay, I have this friendover here that I can do...
X, Y, and Z with.
But I can't necessarily do thatwith this friend over here.
(13:20):
I have to do A, B, and C.
So instead of feeling like,okay, I have to sacrifice myself
and just compromise.
Nah, I can do A, B, and C, X, Y,and Z, one, two, three, and
everybody cool as long as thereis an open line of
communication.
It's when you start lying andbeing shady that it's like,
okay.
Yeah.
(13:42):
No, I learned a lot thatepisode.
Thank you for that.
You are so welcome.
Thank you.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:49):
I really enjoy.
I enjoyed all the non-monogamythemed episodes.
I feel like those were the ones,especially at that time, because
I was like deep intonon-monogamy at that point.
I felt like I was already reallyunderstanding of the whole
story.
Just the whole lifestyle that Iwas like, well, let me give this
to the people that don't know.
Especially, I mean, I'm notsaying everybody that listens to
(14:11):
this podcast is...
Well, I would say majority ofthem are monogamous, but we do
have people, at least majorityof us, even the monogamous, even
monogamy or people that practicemonogamy, they're open to
understanding other relationshipstyles.
So...
(14:31):
I appreciate you saying that.
Definitely.
And yeah, I guess I can, I wantto quickly talk about that while
we're on the subject matter.
Why not?
That's how we is.
Yeah, non-monogamy.
So not that it's anyone'sbusiness, but I guess, or any of
y'all business, but like I'vealready been telling my business
about my monogamy.
(14:53):
Oh my
SPEAKER_00 (14:54):
gosh.
SPEAKER_01 (14:54):
I'm an anomaly.
My non-monogamist.
experiences and i will say justas my just what i've experienced
over the last couple of yearsi'm not i don't regret anything
i really don't i don't regret myexperiences they they don't
happen at all nearly as often iwill say since i moved in with
(15:19):
my current boy current boyfriendhe's It's just been a different
dynamic, and I don't think we'vehad time to really talk about
what that's going to look likenow that we live together.
We haven't gotten to that pointjust yet.
And I don't know if we were...
I don't personally...
I don't feel like I need anotherperson, but if somebody does
(15:42):
come along and...
You know, I'm curious aboutthem, sure, but majority of the
time I realize...
Because I've had little momentslike that over the last couple
of years, but...
I realized that like it's justmy body wanting to be physically
intimate with this person orlike I have like a crush on this
person that maybe now that I'm30 in my 30s.
(16:05):
my discernment on things likeit's like okay but do you really
want to pursue this personbecause then i think about like
oh this person has these thingsgoing on with them and i was
like i don't want to i don'twant to put myself in that and i
don't want that kind of energyso like it's one of those things
where it's like you know thisperson is not great for you but
(16:26):
you still want them aroundbecause you're attracted to them
so you learn to just because forme, I just wait for the crush to
go away, and then it's gone, andI'm like, whew, thank goodness I
didn't do anything, you know?
That's that self-awareness
SPEAKER_00 (16:39):
kicking in.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, do I want this?
SPEAKER_01 (16:43):
Yeah, but as of right now, y'all, I still
consider myself non-monogamous,but I'm not openly practicing.
Like, I'm a monogamousnon-monogamous, in case anyone
wants to know.
That's where I'm at right now.
But some other stuff that wehave chatted about, Cause I did
the one with, what's his name?
(17:03):
Andre.
I think his name was Andre.
Andre and Susanna.
And then I did the one withDylan, um, non-monogamy for
dummies.
And then we've also hadconversations with, yeah, I know
non-monogamy for dummies.
That should be a book.
It is, you know, I wonder
SPEAKER_00 (17:15):
if it, I wonder if
SPEAKER_01 (17:16):
it is
SPEAKER_00 (17:17):
now.
I need, I'm going to besurprised.
There's a blah, blah, blah fordummies of everything.
SPEAKER_01 (17:22):
Yeah.
I'll have to look that up.
What else?
I'm thinking about the peoplethat I've spoken about it with
on this podcast, but I've alsospoken about it on other
people's podcasts.
I will also say thank you, bythe way.
Wow, I should have said that atthe beginning.
The sustainability of thispodcast could not have happened
(17:43):
if it was not for all theguests, including Free, that
happened...
You did this.
Yes.
Thank y'all.
All the guests that have been onso far.
Thank you for taking the time tohave conversations with me and
other people.
Some of them, I'll have like twoguests at one time that don't
(18:03):
know each other and that arejust kind of meeting for the
first time and havingconversations then.
So thank you for just jumping inand being open enough to share
that, not just with me, but withstrangers.
that are listening and that arewatching.
And I also want to thank myPatreon community because if it
wasn't for y'all, the podcast, Icould not even afford to keep
(18:25):
the podcast on the streamingservices.
So I just want to thank y'allfor that.
before we keep going, justbecause that is something I
should have said at thebeginning.
This is for my podcasters, bythe way.
People that have podcasts at thecurrent moment or who are
thinking of doing podcasts andaren't sure where to start or
just need some wisdom fromsomeone who is now at 100
(18:45):
episodes.
The things that you willprobably, if you haven't
already, have to go through tojust even get your podcast up
and going...
I will say every podcast isdifferent.
I've been listening to podcastsforever and everyone has their
(19:06):
own take.
Everybody has their own opinionsand everyone does it the way
they want.
Some of them have two-hourepisodes, three-hour episodes,
20-minute episodes.
It's whatever you want.
The world is your oyster.
But in terms of how I was ableto sustain my podcast, it was
honestly just through really...
(19:28):
Knowing that consistency reallyonly worked on my end at the
beginning when it was during thepandemic and not really having
much else to focus on, I wasreally able to get my podcast
off the ground because of that.
The second thing is knowing whento take a break.
I felt as though...
Because I felt like when Istarted the podcast, things were
(19:51):
just going really fast.
And because of my consistency,it was doing really well.
And...
I was able to keep up with itfor a bit, but then once life
and everything just startedopening back up, started needing
to get a job and all this otherstuff that comes back with
having your regular, regularlife, the pandemic was, at least
(20:11):
on my end, a dream because I wasable to just create, get paid by
the government because Iqualified and was getting like
$600 a week.
And...
So I just kind of sat at homemost days because I couldn't go
anywhere really except rollerskating, which was also another
(20:33):
therapeutic thing to do.
As a creative, it was a dreamcome true because you're
skating, you're listening tomusic, and you're meeting
people.
It's like you feel like you'rein a playground with other
preschoolers.
It really feels like you are achild again.
And to kind of get thatexperience and that privilege,
to be able to experience it asan adult, it feels surreal
(20:57):
because it's like oh okay sothis is how life used to be like
for me as an adult that used tobe a child like you almost feel
that way again and when you'rein not necessarily like a
childlike mindset but you're ina space where all you are
required to do is play andcreate like it is encouraged
(21:21):
because you have nothing else todo when you're there like it's
it sparks other things and likepeople were making what banana
bread and like what was otherthings people were doing during
the pandemic they
SPEAKER_00 (21:32):
were doing so much they were so from what I
remember for the pandemic peoplestarted cooking more and they
would upload like cooking videosdrawing knitting you name it you
can think about one person wason a damn what is that thing a
unicycle there was somebody on aunicycle like just doing crazy
(21:53):
shit on a unicycle I'm like Iwish I could spend my time like
that.
I did not.
Yeah, people were planting,like, growing stuff.
I did not take advantage of thepandemic like I should have.
SPEAKER_01 (22:03):
That's okay.
Look.
No, it's not.
But what I'm saying is that,like, you know, I mean, God
forbid another pandemic comes.
I'm
SPEAKER_00 (22:11):
just saying that we don't want it, but we do.
I'm out.
I'm not coming back to work.
I'm sorry.
Whatever y'all want to give menext time, I'm taking it.
I learned my lesson, okay?
Yeah.
I'm taking it next time.
I'm staying home.
SPEAKER_01 (22:25):
Is this conversation speaking to you right now?
Do you feel the self-awarenesstaking over your body like a
real good song?
I want you to make a mental noteto share the Self-Aware
Millennial podcast with someoneyou love because sharing is
caring and love is notpossessive.
Sorry, y'all, but y'all can'thave me to yourself.
(22:46):
But for real, y'all know howgood it feels when someone
shares with you, whether it'stheir resources, their food,
their wisdom or their spouse.
OK, well, some of us spread thelove to capitalize your mind and
practice the gift of sharing andwant to help us reach new
audiences.
Rate us five stars on ApplePodcasts and Spotify.
(23:07):
If you're feeling extra giving,leave a compliment.
Come on.
You know you want to enjoy therest.
Not many of us are going to beable to start a podcast in the
pandemic at this point.
But what you can do, becauseyes, most of us who are starting
one, unless you are, I don'tknow, a high schooler or
something, are much younger andyou still have a structured
(23:29):
outline of your life where yougo to school, you go to your
after school activities and thenrepeat.
The rest of us...
SPEAKER_00 (23:37):
Right?
Why'd you say that?
What?
Why'd you say high school whenyou started?
The only reason why I'm sayingthat...
It's because you remember nobitch assness.
We were podcasting beforepodcasting was a word at lunch.
Yep.
And we would literally just situp there.
You would record ourconversation, singing, dancing,
(23:57):
all that stuff.
And I can only imagine had weknown what podcasting was going
to be like years later, what wewould have did.
And at the same time, I'm like,okay, after we graduated high
school, we all went our separateways.
I don't know how that would haveworked.
But I'm starting to notice nowpeople get on Zoom.
We had Skype.
(24:19):
Yep.
We were on Skype talking.
Skype.
Oovoo.
Oovoo.
Oovoo.
It was Oovoo.
Yeah.
Skype.
And I'm like, that was so muchfun.
Yeah.
I ain't gonna lie.
I'll say their name.
Dominican stifled ourcreativity.
SPEAKER_01 (24:37):
I'm so happy we're saying their name now because we
did not say their name inepisode one.
We didn't?
We didn't.
We were trying to be like, yeah,we went to a private Catholic
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
girls high school.
Y'all keep sending me emails.
I'm not responding to them.
SPEAKER_01 (24:50):
You
SPEAKER_00 (24:50):
get emails from them still?
Yeah, because they're asking mefor money.
I'm not paying them.
That's
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
interesting.
I must have either unsubscribedor something because they don't
send me nothing.
SPEAKER_00 (24:57):
I still get the emails, but they go to my Yahoo.
I don't even check that.
So, yeah, y'all still sending meemails and yeah, I'm still
ignoring them.
You could just take me off atthis point.
You know...
We need to talk about them for asecond.
Shout out to them for...
The education.
The education.
It was great.
And I got my lifelong friendshere.
(25:20):
But y'all pissed me off after Igraduated college, after we
begged y'all for that, what wasit, 10-point grading scale?
Oh, I forgot about that.
And they kept telling us, like,oh, no, that separates us from
everybody else.
And then you get it.
You know what my GPA could havebeen?
Y'all messed up my tops.
I'm just telling y'all thatright now.
I
SPEAKER_01 (25:38):
forgot about that.
I really did.
I totally forgot about that.
I don't think I was one of...
I mean, yeah, I don't rememberthe fullness of that.
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (25:47):
I remember it all.
But...
But...
Y'all had me with Crispitos,though.
I hope y'all still got those.
SPEAKER_01 (25:54):
I'm sure they do.
They have to.
I feel like if they don't haveanything else that hasn't...
Outside of Rally Day and theother stuff that they had over
there, I feel like the Crispitosprobably never went away.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
I'm proud of them for the STEM program.
The building is nice.
We literally tried to get betterfor the black and brown
students, kind of trampled overthat.
But I guess the little W's thatwe did get cool.
I'm still sore about
SPEAKER_01 (26:26):
that.
Are you talking about the thingthat happened with the eighth
grader and her...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, the senior and the fatherwith the...
SPEAKER_00 (26:32):
It was the student body president and the dad.
And the dad.
And the father-daughter dance.
Kaepernick, Trump.
Yeah, that foolishness.
And then next after that, littlekids getting called the N-word.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:45):
Yeah.
I feel like...
Oh, man.
Yeah, I'm not letting that go.
No, I want to talk.
I actually do want to talk.
We didn't...
That didn't happen during thepandemic.
That happened before the
SPEAKER_00 (26:54):
pandemic.
Yeah, it happened before.
But we didn't
SPEAKER_01 (26:56):
talk about it in that episode.
I'm surprised we didn't talkabout that.
SPEAKER_00 (26:58):
You know what?
I think because things werestill fresh.
Oh.
And I think, you know, from theaftermath of the black alumna
group and them trying to, Iguess, figure out where they
were going to move and all ofthis other stuff.
And we were...
Still sore about it.
I'm going to be honest.
I'm still sore about it.
So it was kind of like Voldemortwith us for a little minute.
(27:22):
Not Voldemort.
You know, you talk about it, butyou don't say the name.
Yeah.
Just so that the wound didn'tget reopened.
Because at that point, it wasbad.
It really was.
SPEAKER_01 (27:34):
no i think okay so yeah no yeah i'm sorry y'all i
know we're supposed to betalking about podcasting and all
that but like this is actually avery this is something we need
to talk about don't mind us weneed to talk about this where i
could quick anybody that is fromdominican or whatever feel free
to chime in comments wherever idon't care feel free but no i
want to mention something aboutthat because i remember when
that all went down i think i mayhave even mentioned it to you at
(27:56):
one point but i feel like nowthat it's At least five years
removed.
It must have been much longer atthis point.
Yes, it's longer.
I do know that when it happened,my mother at that point was
still doing costuming forDominicans high school plays.
The directors for the Dominicanplays, I will not name them, but
(28:19):
anyone who knows them knowsthem.
Usually they love my mom.
She started doing stuff when Iwas doing plays there.
And she kind of continued afterI graduated.
And she was there up until thatpoint.
Because, because, because theylet her go.
Like my mom was only contractedthrough them to do costumes and
(28:39):
stuff, whatever.
But I think came that spring,they made an excuse as to why
she couldn't come back.
Without fully saying that wasbecause of me being involved
with...
basically trying to get justicefor the black students at
Dominican for what had happenedbetween the senior president at
the time and her father at thatfather-daughter dance.
(29:01):
We should also kind of talkabout what happened.
So what happened was there's afather-daughter dance that
normally happens at Dominican,still happens, I'm pretty sure,
but this particular time, It'slike they dress in themes, like
the fathers and daughters dress.
They usually theme it up whenthey come together, you know,
and then they do the dance,whatever the music's playing,
(29:22):
blah, blah, blah.
But also there's like chaperonesthere that are supposed to kind
of approve of what these fathersand daughters are wearing before
they go in.
Somehow it slipped through thecracks that there was a father
and a daughter that came asTrump and Kaepernick.
And at that time, there was alot of controversy over
Kaepernick's kneeling and Youknow, I think Trump was
(29:44):
obviously still big back thentalking about, like...
I think he...
God, he wasn't president, washe?
No, not yet.
He wasn't president yet.
No, not yet.
He hadn't...
Okay.
I can't even remember.
Like, I can't remember what...
SPEAKER_00 (29:54):
I think he was...
I think he was running.
Okay.
Or, like, just throwing his hatinto the ring to campaign.
SPEAKER_02 (30:03):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (30:04):
And I remember him being very vocal about it.
So he was kind of...
At the forefront ofanti-kneeling, anti-subtle,
silent protest during sportingevents.
SPEAKER_01 (30:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
Claiming that you're reprimanding your American
rights or freedom or blah, Idon't know, something along
those lines, where it's likeyou're not a true American if
you're kneeling or doinganything outside of putting your
hand on your heart.
SPEAKER_02 (30:34):
Correct.
Correct.
SPEAKER_01 (30:35):
And I feel like even at that point, that kind of
sparked the movement where otherpeople who were kind of on
Kaepernick's side of things wereeither not, obviously they
probably weren't kneeling, butmaybe they weren't standing up
and putting their hand overtheir heart at the beginning of
the school day or doing, youknow, they just, they weren't
doing the things that were justbeing told that they had to do.
(30:56):
So in this instance, there was aphoto that got leaked from
Snapchat and With the father andthe daughter.
The daughter was kneeling.
The father was, like, Trump.
Daughter was Kaepernick.
And father, from the picture Iremember seeing, got on the news
and everything, like, pointed atthe daughter.
(31:17):
I forget what the caption said.
I think it may have said, like,you're fired or something,
something, something.
I think it was.
Something like that.
It was very tongue-in-cheek, butI guess it was also, like, a
picture that they thought wasnever get out.
Like...
These people pay a lot of moneyto go to a school to be smart
and not be that smart at thesame time.
But it is what it is.
(31:39):
So that happened.
Outrage.
All hell broke loose.
You know, we, myself, Free,Caitlyn as well.
Shout out to Caitlyn.
Shout out to Caitlyn.
And a bunch of us, not just us,but there was a whole bunch of
us that came and was just like,you know, like, what the fuck?
What's going on?
Like, why haven't y'all doneanything?
(31:59):
And I remember we were trying tohave a conversation with the
dean of the school at the timeor was it the president?
SPEAKER_00 (32:06):
I don't
SPEAKER_01 (32:06):
remember.
We
SPEAKER_00 (32:07):
were trying to talk to whoever we would, you know,
have the time of day to see us.
it even trickled into more thanthat guys.
It was like all of the blackalumni from that school.
And it did not matter what youryear was.
They came in full force.
They made a Facebook group.
We were in that group.
(32:27):
Um, And this is where it getssore for me.
So we're in a group.
We're all talking about ourexperiences at this PWI and how
things like this are not justisolated incidents.
This is like a trickle effectdepending on what's going on,
whatever the social climate was,all of that good stuff.
So...
(32:49):
Myself, Jessica, and Caitlin, Iguess we were the young people
at the forefront.
We were more the younger ones,yeah.
We were very vocal.
We were on our Facebook pages.
We even went on, it was anotherpodcast or it was a radio show.
We went on two.
It was at Lil Dizzy's, PeteyPaul.
And the other one was at LilDizzy's.
What is his name?
I see his face.
(33:09):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (33:09):
I see his face too.
SPEAKER_00 (33:10):
You got glasses.
Yeah.
I've seen you recently.
I forget your name.
SPEAKER_01 (33:14):
It's going to come back, but
SPEAKER_00 (33:15):
yeah.
Put it somewhere in the commentsor the caption later on.
But we went on that.
A lot of people got wind of it.
And when it was time to draft, Iguess, the formal letter
SPEAKER_02 (33:28):
to
SPEAKER_00 (33:29):
submit to the school to say, hey, these are our
grievances.
We need these particular facultymembers, you know, either
reprimanded or, quite frankly,get rid of them.
They're not conducive toanything.
A few of them come up, and thereason why, because I forgot
this part, After the photo cameout and everybody was talking
(33:51):
about it, underclassmen, theyhad to be like eighth grade,
ninth grade.
They were black and whiteupperclassmen called them the
N-word.
So naturally you go to youradministrative person.
And I think it was Ms.
Salvaggio at the time.
And they told her what happened.
(34:13):
And this is their account.
I wasn't there.
I'm just going by what thesekids told us that instead of
trying to thoroughly investigatewho said what or who did this,
because this is supposed to benot what a Dominican night is
supposed to be.
That's not sisterly.
That's not anything.
She was like, this is a sad dayat Dominican.
(34:34):
Yeah.
And just summed it up at that.
And I was like, what?
She does that.
Oh, my goodness.
I was like, what?
So that's what also riled us upto create this group.
So when it came down toformulating the letter, we were
all supposed to have input.
The older alumna werespearheading it.
(34:55):
And there was one particularmeeting I didn't get to go to
because I was at work to where,you know, we've had words in the
group chat because sometimes youYou don't see eye to eye with a
lot of stuff.
And they ganged up on Caitlynfrom what I was told from that
meeting.
If I was at that meeting too,they probably would have came
for me and it would have been...
It would have been way worse.
SPEAKER_02 (35:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:14):
I think I was there at that meeting.
Yeah.
It would have been way worse.
Because like I said, we didexchange words with the older
set.
Because at that point, thereason why we had the exchange
of words is because, you know,we're trying to enact real
change.
And what you're trying to do iscompromise and kind of sort of,
(35:37):
you know, placate words.
I wouldn't go so far as to saythe oppressor, but, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (35:44):
Well, you know, another part of that that I
thought about, and I think wealso kind of figured out, was
that a lot of them had childrenthere still.
SPEAKER_00 (35:53):
Yeah, one of them did.
SPEAKER_01 (35:54):
And didn't want their kids to be kicked out.
SPEAKER_00 (35:57):
Exactly, because it was going to come.
SPEAKER_01 (35:59):
So they had to play it safer, which is why I feel in
the end, Dominican ended upsiding or at least listening to
them more than they listen to usbecause we have nothing to lose.
They do.
SPEAKER_00 (36:12):
Not just that.
We were like, rah, rah, we'recoming.
SPEAKER_01 (36:15):
We were the Malcolms.
We weren't the Martins.
SPEAKER_00 (36:17):
Yeah, we were definitely not Martins.
I was like, look, y'all gonnahave to get me because I'm not
stopping.
I was so livid.
I was like, look, this gottagive.
And the only reason why I got somad is no, I wasn't directly
called the N-word ever atschool.
But Obama got elected.
I will never forget this to thisday because that was when my
(36:41):
rose-colored glasses got slappedoff my face.
And what I mean by that is whenyou go to PWIs, Growing up, they
always, always, always presentthis whole like, oh, this is a
family.
Everybody loves each other.
We're all friends.
And then Obama gets elected.
I'm a sophomore at this point.
(37:01):
So at Dominican, they all havedifferent sweaters.
They have the black sweaters forthe underclassmen.
When you become a junior, youget a red sweater.
And when you become a senior,you get a navy.
So you had people showing theirpolitical affiliations based on,
well, upperclassmen, because wecould and do it based on their
political parties.
(37:21):
So if you were red Republican,you could be a senior, but
you're wearing that juniorsweater.
If you're a senior, becauseobviously juniors don't have
them, you know the seniors, hadtheir Navy sweaters.
Well, no seniors would have hadtheir junior sweaters already.
They would have had their redsweaters.
So if they were a senior, butthey were Republican, they wore
(37:41):
their red sweater.
Oh, I see what you mean.
If they were Democrat, then theyjust, you know, stay to uniform.
And if they were neutral, they,they wore black.
And then you have people in ourclass that we, quite frankly, I
felt like I was friends with,but you're going on fake.
This is how old this is.
I didn't have Facebook at thetime.
(38:02):
I had MySpace, though.
They had some of them onMySpace.
I will never forget.
This girl broke.
Your ass was broke.
I ain't going to say your name,but she was broke.
Talking about Obama is going tobe the N-word house, not the
White House anymore, and you'recoming for my parents' taxes.
(38:22):
Bitch, your parents do the sameshit that I do.
And what my mom did, my mom wasa teacher.
Like, your parents weren'tmaking so damn much to where
that would affect you.
And I hate when people talkabout taxes anyway, because this
is why I feel like...
Who was
SPEAKER_01 (38:38):
paying taxes?
Like, none of us were.
None of us in high school werepaying
SPEAKER_00 (38:41):
taxes yet.
And even your parents, it's kindof like, when people talk about
taxes...
I mean, we were.
Some of
SPEAKER_01 (38:45):
us probably were.
If we were 16, we could work.
SPEAKER_00 (38:47):
Oh, yeah.
But
SPEAKER_01 (38:49):
still.
SPEAKER_00 (38:50):
But this is why I say people...
really need to get a handle oneducation and why college should
be free for you to electivelychoose to go.
Because I don't know about you,but when I went to college and
you had your tuition, theyliterally showed you a breakdown
of where all of your tuitionmoney was going.
(39:11):
And depending on what type ofcollege you went to, so...
I went to UL.
So they're trying to get theirsports at the time, trying to
get their sports up.
So a lot of the tuition went tosports.
Then a dollar went to thelibrary.
I was like, why the hell adollar only going to the
library?
But, you know, when you'retrying to get that sportsman
(39:32):
money.
You put your money where youwant it to go.
So I'm using that as an examplebecause that is the same thing
with taxes.
You can literally, as publicknowledge people, you can go
online, go to whatever yourgovernment forum is, whether
it's just the city breakdown,state breakdown, government as a
whole.
You can literally see anitemized list of where all your
(39:55):
money is going.
And quite frankly, a lot of itis just change that you would
pick up off the damn ground.
You talking about people tryingto take your money?
Girl, you ain't even going tosee that.
But I digress.
So that's what I mean by, youknow, why we got so riled up
when that situation happened,because we had just went through
that as sophomores.
(40:15):
And it's like now it's like dejavu.
This stuff keeps happening.
It can't keep happening.
But like you said, the olderalumna had kids there.
They have a stake.
You don't pay thousands ofdollars.
You don't want it to just godown the tubes because some
young upstarts are causing aruckus.
And now they're singling outyour kid.
So let me compromise with thesepeople real quick.
(40:37):
And
SPEAKER_01 (40:37):
I'm not really sure if anything ever came of that.
I'm not sure because, I mean,that wasn't something that was
communicated to me.
You probably neither, Caitlin.
SPEAKER_00 (40:47):
No, one of them got a position, remember?
I think she's still there.
SPEAKER_01 (40:51):
Like an actual position within the school?
Like as a what?
SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
I forget what she was.
It was like some type ofposition they created and...
One of them got appointed to it.
And remember, we knew she gotappointed because I think it was
after that.
I don't remember exactly howlong.
Something else came about.
And the younger kids, remember,they started kind of getting
(41:17):
into, well, we got to saysomething.
And we specifically said, thisparticular person, they're going
to have you talk to her.
Do not trust her.
Because she was at the school.
I think she might still bethere.
SPEAKER_01 (41:29):
Today's episode is unofficially sponsored by Self
Reflection.
It's free, painful, andavailable 24-7.
Side effects may include cryingin your car, texting your ex,
pivoting your career, andadmitting you're wrong.
Use responsibly.
(41:49):
I guess I say all that to sayI'm so happy that we kind of
communicated that because I feellike that needed to be said,
even though it has nothing to dowith being 100 episodes.
But I also think that it is aprecursor to why the podcast
exists, first and foremost.
Because if you think about evenjust what I experienced with the
World War II Museum, it was kindof deja vu as well.
It's in the same context.
(42:10):
And now that I'm a businessowner, knowing that Dominican is
a privately owned school, andjust knowing how it works on the
administrative side to anextent, I can...
not necessarily empathize withthem I don't empathize with them
at all but I think because Ihave more knowledge about like
(42:31):
how it all works and why and whyyou know businesses exist the
way they do and how they can benot necessarily malicious or
like how they are able totrickle truth information so
that they stay on the right sideof the government.
(42:56):
How do I put this?
How do I put this?
I think I just understand moreabout business structure.
not unfortunately, I think Ineed to know this.
I think I need to know this sothat when I see like something
bad happening and justice ishappening and whatnot, like I
can call it out easier and I'mable, I'm more able to just
understand where their headspace is just because I'm
(43:20):
experiencing it for myself rightnow as a business owner.
But yeah, that World War IImuseum, World War II museum, I'm
not even about to go into allthat again.
Y'all, there's episodes aboutthat.
That kind of shook me.
Throughout the 100 episodes.
What else has shook me?
I think there were somefriendships and relationships
(43:41):
that I had during that timeperiod that are no longer there.
Not necessarily due to thepodcast, but just due to having
differences in differentopinions that are related to
what we were just talking about.
Just having...
Everyone has nuanced opinions onracial themes within...
(44:03):
of the American context, I wouldeven say, because not that they
don't exist elsewhere, but likehere it's just very prevalent
because this country was builtoff of that.
That's why we, that's why thiscountry exists.
And that's like black peoplekind of built this country and
white folks obviously likebenefited from it the most.
We say like we're black, We areblack, black people.
(44:24):
We still only about maybe 13,20% in general.
We live in a predominantly blackcity.
So it feels as though there'smore black people than there
actually are.
But when you go elsewhere, yougo anywhere else outside of this
city, outside of this, anywherethat is not urban, anywhere that
is not like any of the ruralplaces, all like it's flooded
with white folks.
And, you know, I realize that.
(44:45):
And I sometimes forget that.
And because of that, There's alot of people that have not kind
of experienced racism orprejudice from a perspective
that relates to systemic racismwithin America.
(45:06):
Anyway, wow, that was a lot.
Another thing I want to quicklytalk about.
Wait, I kind of talked aboutthat already.
I kind of talked about burnout.
I talked about like takingbreaks.
I did that already.
Let's see.
Finally.
Oh, look, she made it.
All right.
Well.
Aria's here, y'all.
She always makes her appearanceat least once every episode.
And I think this is a great timeto quickly just kind of talk
(45:28):
about where I think I want thispodcast to go in the next couple
of episode seasons.
I'm not exactly sure how I'mgoing to structure it just yet.
As y'all know, this is like aself-produced podcast, mostly by
myself.
I sometimes have help.
Sometimes I have people that cancome in and edit.
Sometimes I have people come inand just help me, you know,
structure the podcast.
(45:48):
But most of the time it's justme and when I have the time out
of my extremely busy schedule.
But what I'm hoping for the nextseason of this podcast, because
I am getting older, because allof us millennials are now grown
adults, right?
grown-er adults.
I want to focus ourcommunications, our
(46:12):
conversations on themes that weare currently experiencing.
I know for myself, I am 33 yearsold, and I am now in a place
where I remember back in 2020,not that I really didn't want
kids at the point, but I wasn'treally thinking about them.
Now I'm like, maybe I shouldhurry up and get another one,
(46:33):
but also I think about how muchI've don't have the money for
one and that I have the choiceif I want one right now.
So like I'm kind of battlingthat and I want to kind of, we
talked about the biologicalclock on the podcast before, but
I feel like now that I am in thethick of it, I'm like at the age
where majority of women arelike, Ooh, what do I do?
(46:55):
I want to just kind of do somemore remarks on that.
And now, you know, Free got awhole child now, and I feel like
Free did not have a whole childfive years ago.
So I think it's going to beinteresting.
We'll probably talk about thatin the next episode a little bit
too.
Actually, we definitely willbecause we're talking about sex.
So, duh, that'll be in the nextepisode.
And I do want to also kind ofgive– I want to start giving
(47:19):
some, like, advice to people–people that are in their 20s
people that are just trying tofind their way this is a podcast
about self-awareness and I dothink that one thing I would
love to do I'm going to startwith you free for this episode
is I'm going to I will ask youthis question I'll ask it to you
(47:41):
right before we end and we'reabout to be ending just a moment
but let me get this and then Iwill ask you this but I want to
make sure that these next coupleof episodes are intentional.
I want it to also feelsustainable for myself because I
don't know necessarily if I amgoing to continue to put out
these episodes very often at themoment.
(48:04):
I want to, but my life right nowhas me in 10 billion different
locations and I want...
To still be able to focus on thethings that I take priority in
my life, which is mainly myhealth, mainly my family and
friends.
I want to make sure I have timefor them.
(48:25):
I also want to make sure that Ihave time for the things that
nourish me, like my music that Ihave been neglecting for feels
like years now because I justdon't have the time.
And focusing on Triple ThreadMedia, which is a Just a branch
of the music that I'm alreadymaking.
I want it to be, but I'm notthere just yet.
(48:46):
So with all that in mind, it'slike also hosting a podcast.
That's a lot.
That's a lot right there.
Look at all those balls I'mtrying to juggle.
It's impossible.
I don't think even a juggler canjuggle all those balls.
So why can't I?
How can I?
So that's what I want.
(49:08):
And I want it to be structured.
I need structure.
So if you see this or hear this,wherever you are, if you are
interested in helping me dothat, there's a place for you
here and we can collaborate andwork together.
As most of you already know,y'all have seen the stuff that's
(49:28):
on my podcast page.
Y'all have seen what's onInstagrams and our Patreon and
everything.
You see what I'm capable of.
You've seen the stuff I do withTriple Bear Media.
I have a lot of capabilities.
I am very talented, I find, whenit comes to just being a
creative and even just getting avision out there.
(49:49):
And one thing that I really dopride myself in is that I will
never not...
do something because I'm scaredto do it.
I will try it.
Even if it's just once, I'mgoing to try it.
And even if I fail at it, it iswhat it is.
I won't feel bad because atleast I tried.
Before we leave, this issomething I'm going to start
(50:10):
doing with all my guests becauseI really do enjoy asking this
question.
I even ask it to myself.
So, Free, we are both in ourJesus year, right?
33.
UNKNOWN (50:22):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (50:22):
So if you could tell yourself, your 23-year-old self,
give your 23-year-old selfadvice for your upcoming 10
years, what would it be?
SPEAKER_00 (50:32):
Go outside.
What I mean by that, man, pleasesee outside.
See things outside of just yourgeneral scope.
There's more to life than whereyou live.
There's more to life than justthe friend group that you've
made.
Hell, there's more outside ofyour life than the family that
(50:52):
you have.
Go learn something becausethat's why we're in the
predicament that we're in rightnow is that a lot of people just
want to remain in their bubble.
Burst it.
go eat that food that you saidlooked nasty it's probably good
go to this place that you didn'teven you don't even know how to
pronounce it go don't let peoplehold you back and what I mean by
(51:18):
people holding you back it's notnecessarily the people in your
life holding you back sometimesit's you creating the excuse
that these people are holding meback and in actuality it's you
you're scared to travel byyourself you're scared to go eat
in this restaurant alone you'rescared to go see this movie Go
do stuff for yourself.
Please.
As for 23-year-old me, I alwayswanted to be outside, but I
(51:41):
wanted people to be outsidewith.
And because of that, I feel likeI've missed out on a lot.
What else would I tell23-year-old me?
And this is just an insider forme and my cousin.
Lady and the Tramp don't dothat.
Okay?
(52:01):
Okay.
Leave the spaghetti on theplate.
On the fork.
That was from episode one whenwe had the sex conversation.
And I was like, oh, yeah, Ladyand the Tramp, you know, spice
it up.
Oh, yes.
To this day, five years later,my cousin still cracks that
joke.
Oh, my gosh.
(52:22):
It's an insider between the twoof us.
And that's one of the beautifulthings I've taken away from this
podcast.
What else I would say to a23-year-old me?
Be true to yourself.
Be true to yourself.
Stop code switching early.
Yeah, that was one of the thingsI recently done in the past,
(52:43):
which I was about to be three.
I want to say four years ago.
Stop code switching at work.
The best thing ever.
Oh, it's liberating.
SPEAKER_01 (52:53):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (52:54):
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (52:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (52:58):
And just, I guess.
You know, the friends that youdo have, value them.
Value your friends.
And learn how to communicate.
That's the advice I would give23-year-old me.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (53:14):
I love that.
Thank you for sharing that,Bree.
So, thank y'all for listening.
I hope that y'all join us forthe next episode, which will be
chatting about sex as amillennial.
In 2025.
All right, y'all.
(53:36):
Bye.
Thank you.
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It's 2019.
The year Game of Thrones endedon a terrible note.
The year Lil Nas X became ahousehold name.
Beyonce headlining Coachella.
(01:29):
Hot Girl Summer.
Euphoria debuted.
Disney Plus.
Rise and Shine.
Kylie Jenner.
And the president, at the time,got impeached.
This was also the year I decidedthat I would start a podcast.
And not just any podcast.
A podcast where I could letloose and chat unapologetically
(01:52):
with open-minded individualsabout the taboo, the
uncomfortable, and the downrightforbidden topics that have
challenged my mind to reachinfinite possibilities in my
life and career.
I was ready to break somecycles.
So I called up one of my goodfriends, Free, for moral
support.
And I invited her to be thefirst guest.
(02:14):
And the rest is history.
Hello, everybody.
Welcome back to the Self-WordMillennial.
I am your host, J-Mix, and todaywe are celebrating 100 episodes.
UNKNOWN (02:33):
Hello.
SPEAKER_01 (02:34):
It feels out of body to say that at the current
moment, only because it doesn'tfeel like a hundred episodes per
se.
And I'm hoping that within thisepisode that I can, even though
we won't be talking about fullyabout like the whole hundred
episode thing, I want to reflecton these last hundred episodes,
(02:54):
even though I don't feel likewe've had a hundred episodes.
By the way, if you are watchingon YouTube or anywhere with
visuals, my friend Free, who hasbeen My friend for a very long
time since high school, thefirst guest of the Self-Wore
Millennial back in 2020, beforethe pandemic, before everything
just kind of turned upside down,Free has been there and is back
(03:19):
after five years, and I'm sohappy that you are here.
Oh
SPEAKER_00 (03:21):
my God.
Five years?
When you say it out loud, it'slike, what?
Five?
It's been that long?
SPEAKER_01 (03:30):
Like you'd be blinking.
Like, I don't know.
I feel like the older we get,the faster life just seems to
go.
Again, yeah, it doesn't feellike five years, but it has been
that long because I rememberwhen I started this and I
remember where I was mentally.
And so I invited Free for thisepisode.
Mostly because it is an homageto our first episode, but also
(03:54):
within the next episode thatwe're chatting about, we're
going to be talking about moreof the themes of what we talked
about in episode one.
I had filmed episode 100 bymyself and I just wasn't feeling
it.
I tried to do it last week and Iwas just like, this is just not
it.
I'm at a point in my life rightnow where I do need a little bit
of handholding.
(04:14):
I'm just going to say it.
I feel like I need support.
And being a host of a podcast byyourself, I know so many
podcasts that have co-hosts and,you know, just extra people to
just kind of keep the bantergoing.
But I think right now I needthat.
Not saying that I need aco-host.
I would love a co-host at somepoint, I think.
But right now, like, I just needat least someone else.
(04:35):
And trying to do an episode onthe 100th episode by yourself is
a lot.
Doing episodes on your own is alot.
So...
I have Free here because Freehas been on this journey, even
though she hasn't been heresince 2020.
She has been on this journey andshe has seen how it has
transcended since I started backin 2020.
(04:56):
And so I felt like who is moreappropriate to reflect on it
with me.
Thank you.
Thank you for being here
SPEAKER_00 (05:05):
to
SPEAKER_01 (05:05):
do that.
No, thank
SPEAKER_00 (05:05):
you for inviting me back.
Oh, my God.
I love the podcast.
First of all, self-awaremillennial.
What more could you say aboutthat?
Everybody, especially in timeslike these, self-awareness, we
need that.
So for you to bring it to themasses, thank you.
SPEAKER_01 (05:22):
You're welcome.
I know the first conversationthat we had was, I think I
believe I asked you if you werea self-aware person and you told
me that you were self-aware toknow that you didn't know
everything.
That's what you said.
Yeah.
And, you know, it really stuckwith me and it still sticks with
(05:44):
me to this day.
And I still feel that way aswell.
But I think now I feel like myself-awareness evolves because
what I thought wasself-awareness back in 2020
versus now, I think it's alittle different.
Just in the ways of like when Iwas when I was thinking about
(06:04):
self-awareness back then, it waslike, oh, I'm thinking about
myself.
I'm thinking about myself.
What I need in the moment, I'mthinking presently really,
knowing who I am, my boundaries,knowing what I like, what I
don't like.
And I think now, I still believethose things, but I think
(06:25):
self-awareness now for me isalso giving myself grace to just
be wrong, And admit that I'mwrong.
I think self-awareness is alsolike being able to admit your
mistakes.
I think it has more to do withlike when you realize you did
(06:47):
something wrong, takingaccountability for it.
So I feel like that's not wheremy head was back then.
I think I was still learning howto be wrong and be wrong in a,
not in a righteous way, but justin a way.
I know it sounds socontradictory.
But Yeah, so this episode, we'rereally just going to be
(07:09):
reflecting on the last fiveyears of this podcast and where
it has gone, where I think it'sgoing after we hit the hundreds,
and how I feel as though it'llbe sustainable, how I can
sustain it, considering that Ifeel like my life has been
changing.
(07:31):
And that's inevitable.
And the podcast has to kind ofchange with that.
And it's not going to be thesame podcast as it was five
years ago, three years ago, twoyears ago.
Because my life is always goingto be different.
It's always going to bechanging.
So, yeah.
Yeah.
(07:51):
That's a lot.
So...
One thing I can probably...
So Free is...
I think Free is going to kind ofact as the representative for
the rest of y'all, the listenersand people who are viewing, who
have been following this podcastfor a while and may have
questions and maybe curiositiesabout how I've kept it going
despite certain obstacles andthings that have happened in my
(08:14):
life throughout the duration ofthe podcast.
I'm thinking right now, the onething I think about is...
When I quit World War II Museum,that was a big one.
I remember talking about thatand that being a big deal.
I mean, all the pandemic times,I brought on a lot of my roller
skate friends at that time.
But that was, again, that wasall in 2020.
I feel like 2021, we still hadpodcast episodes in those other
(08:39):
years, but it started to dwindledown because life was becoming
back to post-pandemic times andI had Less time to focus on the
podcast.
So, I don't know.
I feel like...
I don't know what I feel likeright now.
(09:03):
And that's okay.
That's okay.
Yeah.
So, Free.
Like I said, RepresentativeFree.
Also representative of the restof y'all.
What has been some like topicsthat we have covered on the
podcast that have struck you orthat have maybe that you found
(09:28):
memorable over the last fiveyears?
Even if it doesn't have to belike a topic that maybe you it
could be a topic.
It could be like a guest that Ibrought on.
It could be anything.
I'm just curious because likeit's hard.
I'm asking this because.
As the host and as someone thatbasically just kind of does it
and I receive the information, Idon't always fully get a chance
(09:50):
to hear the opinions of others.
And if I do, it's kind of arandom conversation and it's
never in a full depth analysis,which is fine.
I'm not looking for that, but Ithink for me, and I've always
mentioned this on the podcast, Ilike reassurance and I'm like
(10:12):
a...
My love language is words ofaffirmation.
So that's how I receive.
And yeah, I'm just curious.
Sorry, that was a really longquestion.
SPEAKER_00 (10:24):
No, you're perfectly fine.
You've touched on a lot oftopics over the years.
One that stood out to me becausethat was one of the episodes
that I really learned something.
One of the topics, I know it wasLGBTQ+.
And I think the topic went on topolyamorous relationships.
(10:48):
I forget what episode that is,but it was a while back.
It was you and maybe like maybeone or two other guests.
It might have been the
SPEAKER_01 (10:54):
one that I did with Andre, Susanna and Andre, I
think.
Maybe.
Maybe.
I think so.
Maybe.
I think that might have been it.
Oh, God.
It may not be their names.
I apologize if I said y'allnames wrong, but I know the
girl's name was Susanna.
Anyway.
Hey, at least you got names Ican't remember,
SPEAKER_00 (11:12):
right?
I'm surprised I rememberanything half the time.
But that one stood out to mebecause I actually learned
something.
So I was not familiar withpolyamory other than, okay, this
one...
There's the main relationship.
Then you got the girlfriend ofthis one and the boyfriend of
(11:32):
that one.
And it's like a wholeconversation that has to happen.
And I was just like, what isthis?
But when I listened to thepodcast and you broke it down
and you really explained thewhole nuances and the dynamics
of the relationship and howconsent and honesty is a big
part of that to where this isnot just a...
(11:55):
Excuse my language.
Cluster F.
It makes
SPEAKER_01 (12:00):
sense.
Oh, I can?
Yeah, you can.
UNKNOWN (12:03):
Yes!
SPEAKER_01 (12:05):
Oh, I guess that wasn't a thing when we started
this podcast.
No, you can now.
Oh, yes, we've evolved.
Yes, we have evolved.
I'll bleep it out.
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
You know, as somebody who is not familiar
with that, because that's not myreality, so you come into it I'm
not going to lie, with anignorant lens.
Yeah.
Because you have a preconceivednotion of what you think a
polyamorous relationship is inthe confines of a monogamous
relationship.
(12:35):
And you know within a monogamousrelationship, it's kind of like,
okay, it's just me and myperson.
There's a level ofpossessiveness there.
And I don't want anybody toimpede on that.
Versus what I learned from it, Iwas like, okay, this is...
It's still a...
It still has some of the, Iguess, rules, if you will, of a
(12:59):
monogamous relationship.
Yeah, it can.
But it's kind of like you getdifferent things from each
person within it, if that makessense.
It's kind of like your normalrelationship, say, with friends.
Say, okay, I have this friendover here that I can do...
X, Y, and Z with.
But I can't necessarily do thatwith this friend over here.
(13:20):
I have to do A, B, and C.
So instead of feeling like,okay, I have to sacrifice myself
and just compromise.
Nah, I can do A, B, and C, X, Y,and Z, one, two, three, and
everybody cool as long as thereis an open line of
communication.
It's when you start lying andbeing shady that it's like,
okay.
Yeah.
(13:42):
No, I learned a lot thatepisode.
Thank you for that.
You are so welcome.
Thank you.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (13:49):
I really enjoy.
I enjoyed all the non-monogamythemed episodes.
I feel like those were the ones,especially at that time, because
I was like deep intonon-monogamy at that point.
I felt like I was already reallyunderstanding of the whole
story.
Just the whole lifestyle that Iwas like, well, let me give this
to the people that don't know.
Especially, I mean, I'm notsaying everybody that listens to
(14:11):
this podcast is...
Well, I would say majority ofthem are monogamous, but we do
have people, at least majorityof us, even the monogamous, even
monogamy or people that practicemonogamy, they're open to
understanding other relationshipstyles.
So...
(14:31):
I appreciate you saying that.
Definitely.
And yeah, I guess I can, I wantto quickly talk about that while
we're on the subject matter.
Why not?
That's how we is.
Yeah, non-monogamy.
So not that it's anyone'sbusiness, but I guess, or any of
y'all business, but like I'vealready been telling my business
about my monogamy.
(14:53):
Oh my
SPEAKER_00 (14:54):
gosh.
SPEAKER_01 (14:54):
I'm an anomaly.
My non-monogamist.
experiences and i will say justas my just what i've experienced
over the last couple of yearsi'm not i don't regret anything
i really don't i don't regret myexperiences they they don't
happen at all nearly as often iwill say since i moved in with
(15:19):
my current boy current boyfriendhe's It's just been a different
dynamic, and I don't think we'vehad time to really talk about
what that's going to look likenow that we live together.
We haven't gotten to that pointjust yet.
And I don't know if we were...
I don't personally...
I don't feel like I need anotherperson, but if somebody does
(15:42):
come along and...
You know, I'm curious aboutthem, sure, but majority of the
time I realize...
Because I've had little momentslike that over the last couple
of years, but...
I realized that like it's justmy body wanting to be physically
intimate with this person orlike I have like a crush on this
person that maybe now that I'm30 in my 30s.
(16:05):
my discernment on things likeit's like okay but do you really
want to pursue this personbecause then i think about like
oh this person has these thingsgoing on with them and i was
like i don't want to i don'twant to put myself in that and i
don't want that kind of energyso like it's one of those things
where it's like you know thisperson is not great for you but
(16:26):
you still want them aroundbecause you're attracted to them
so you learn to just because forme, I just wait for the crush to
go away, and then it's gone, andI'm like, whew, thank goodness I
didn't do anything, you know?
That's that self-awareness
SPEAKER_00 (16:39):
kicking in.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, do I want this?
SPEAKER_01 (16:43):
Yeah, but as of right now, y'all, I still
consider myself non-monogamous,but I'm not openly practicing.
Like, I'm a monogamousnon-monogamous, in case anyone
wants to know.
That's where I'm at right now.
But some other stuff that wehave chatted about, Cause I did
the one with, what's his name?
(17:03):
Andre.
I think his name was Andre.
Andre and Susanna.
And then I did the one withDylan, um, non-monogamy for
dummies.
And then we've also hadconversations with, yeah, I know
non-monogamy for dummies.
That should be a book.
It is, you know, I wonder
SPEAKER_00 (17:15):
if it, I wonder if
SPEAKER_01 (17:16):
it is
SPEAKER_00 (17:17):
now.
I need, I'm going to besurprised.
There's a blah, blah, blah fordummies of everything.
SPEAKER_01 (17:22):
Yeah.
I'll have to look that up.
What else?
I'm thinking about the peoplethat I've spoken about it with
on this podcast, but I've alsospoken about it on other
people's podcasts.
I will also say thank you, bythe way.
Wow, I should have said that atthe beginning.
The sustainability of thispodcast could not have happened
(17:43):
if it was not for all theguests, including Free, that
happened...
You did this.
Yes.
Thank y'all.
All the guests that have been onso far.
Thank you for taking the time tohave conversations with me and
other people.
Some of them, I'll have like twoguests at one time that don't
(18:03):
know each other and that arejust kind of meeting for the
first time and havingconversations then.
So thank you for just jumping inand being open enough to share
that, not just with me, but withstrangers.
that are listening and that arewatching.
And I also want to thank myPatreon community because if it
wasn't for y'all, the podcast, Icould not even afford to keep
(18:25):
the podcast on the streamingservices.
So I just want to thank y'allfor that.
before we keep going, justbecause that is something I
should have said at thebeginning.
This is for my podcasters, bythe way.
People that have podcasts at thecurrent moment or who are
thinking of doing podcasts andaren't sure where to start or
just need some wisdom fromsomeone who is now at 100
(18:45):
episodes.
The things that you willprobably, if you haven't
already, have to go through tojust even get your podcast up
and going...
I will say every podcast isdifferent.
I've been listening to podcastsforever and everyone has their
(19:06):
own take.
Everybody has their own opinionsand everyone does it the way
they want.
Some of them have two-hourepisodes, three-hour episodes,
20-minute episodes.
It's whatever you want.
The world is your oyster.
But in terms of how I was ableto sustain my podcast, it was
honestly just through really...
(19:28):
Knowing that consistency reallyonly worked on my end at the
beginning when it was during thepandemic and not really having
much else to focus on, I wasreally able to get my podcast
off the ground because of that.
The second thing is knowing whento take a break.
I felt as though...
Because I felt like when Istarted the podcast, things were
(19:51):
just going really fast.
And because of my consistency,it was doing really well.
And...
I was able to keep up with itfor a bit, but then once life
and everything just startedopening back up, started needing
to get a job and all this otherstuff that comes back with
having your regular, regularlife, the pandemic was, at least
(20:11):
on my end, a dream because I wasable to just create, get paid by
the government because Iqualified and was getting like
$600 a week.
And...
So I just kind of sat at homemost days because I couldn't go
anywhere really except rollerskating, which was also another
(20:33):
therapeutic thing to do.
As a creative, it was a dreamcome true because you're
skating, you're listening tomusic, and you're meeting
people.
It's like you feel like you'rein a playground with other
preschoolers.
It really feels like you are achild again.
And to kind of get thatexperience and that privilege,
to be able to experience it asan adult, it feels surreal
(20:57):
because it's like oh okay sothis is how life used to be like
for me as an adult that used tobe a child like you almost feel
that way again and when you'rein not necessarily like a
childlike mindset but you're ina space where all you are
required to do is play andcreate like it is encouraged
(21:21):
because you have nothing else todo when you're there like it's
it sparks other things and likepeople were making what banana
bread and like what was otherthings people were doing during
the pandemic they
SPEAKER_00 (21:32):
were doing so much they were so from what I
remember for the pandemic peoplestarted cooking more and they
would upload like cooking videosdrawing knitting you name it you
can think about one person wason a damn what is that thing a
unicycle there was somebody on aunicycle like just doing crazy
(21:53):
shit on a unicycle I'm like Iwish I could spend my time like
that.
I did not.
Yeah, people were planting,like, growing stuff.
I did not take advantage of thepandemic like I should have.
SPEAKER_01 (22:03):
That's okay.
Look.
No, it's not.
But what I'm saying is that,like, you know, I mean, God
forbid another pandemic comes.
I'm
SPEAKER_00 (22:11):
just saying that we don't want it, but we do.
I'm out.
I'm not coming back to work.
I'm sorry.
Whatever y'all want to give menext time, I'm taking it.
I learned my lesson, okay?
Yeah.
I'm taking it next time.
I'm staying home.
SPEAKER_01 (22:25):
Is this conversation speaking to you right now?
Do you feel the self-awarenesstaking over your body like a
real good song?
I want you to make a mental noteto share the Self-Aware
Millennial podcast with someoneyou love because sharing is
caring and love is notpossessive.
Sorry, y'all, but y'all can'thave me to yourself.
(22:46):
But for real, y'all know howgood it feels when someone
shares with you, whether it'stheir resources, their food,
their wisdom or their spouse.
OK, well, some of us spread thelove to capitalize your mind and
practice the gift of sharing andwant to help us reach new
audiences.
Rate us five stars on ApplePodcasts and Spotify.
(23:07):
If you're feeling extra giving,leave a compliment.
Come on.
You know you want to enjoy therest.
Not many of us are going to beable to start a podcast in the
pandemic at this point.
But what you can do, becauseyes, most of us who are starting
one, unless you are, I don'tknow, a high schooler or
something, are much younger andyou still have a structured
(23:29):
outline of your life where yougo to school, you go to your
after school activities and thenrepeat.
The rest of us...
SPEAKER_00 (23:37):
Right?
Why'd you say that?
What?
Why'd you say high school whenyou started?
The only reason why I'm sayingthat...
It's because you remember nobitch assness.
We were podcasting beforepodcasting was a word at lunch.
Yep.
And we would literally just situp there.
You would record ourconversation, singing, dancing,
(23:57):
all that stuff.
And I can only imagine had weknown what podcasting was going
to be like years later, what wewould have did.
And at the same time, I'm like,okay, after we graduated high
school, we all went our separateways.
I don't know how that would haveworked.
But I'm starting to notice nowpeople get on Zoom.
We had Skype.
(24:19):
Yep.
We were on Skype talking.
Skype.
Oovoo.
Oovoo.
Oovoo.
It was Oovoo.
Yeah.
Skype.
And I'm like, that was so muchfun.
Yeah.
I ain't gonna lie.
I'll say their name.
Dominican stifled ourcreativity.
SPEAKER_01 (24:37):
I'm so happy we're saying their name now because we
did not say their name inepisode one.
We didn't?
We didn't.
We were trying to be like, yeah,we went to a private Catholic
SPEAKER_00 (24:45):
girls high school.
Y'all keep sending me emails.
I'm not responding to them.
SPEAKER_01 (24:50):
You
SPEAKER_00 (24:50):
get emails from them still?
Yeah, because they're asking mefor money.
I'm not paying them.
That's
SPEAKER_01 (24:53):
interesting.
I must have either unsubscribedor something because they don't
send me nothing.
SPEAKER_00 (24:57):
I still get the emails, but they go to my Yahoo.
I don't even check that.
So, yeah, y'all still sending meemails and yeah, I'm still
ignoring them.
You could just take me off atthis point.
You know...
We need to talk about them for asecond.
Shout out to them for...
The education.
The education.
It was great.
And I got my lifelong friendshere.
(25:20):
But y'all pissed me off after Igraduated college, after we
begged y'all for that, what wasit, 10-point grading scale?
Oh, I forgot about that.
And they kept telling us, like,oh, no, that separates us from
everybody else.
And then you get it.
You know what my GPA could havebeen?
Y'all messed up my tops.
I'm just telling y'all thatright now.
I
SPEAKER_01 (25:38):
forgot about that.
I really did.
I totally forgot about that.
I don't think I was one of...
I mean, yeah, I don't rememberthe fullness of that.
Oh,
SPEAKER_00 (25:47):
I remember it all.
But...
But...
Y'all had me with Crispitos,though.
I hope y'all still got those.
SPEAKER_01 (25:54):
I'm sure they do.
They have to.
I feel like if they don't haveanything else that hasn't...
Outside of Rally Day and theother stuff that they had over
there, I feel like the Crispitosprobably never went away.
SPEAKER_00 (26:06):
I'm proud of them for the STEM program.
The building is nice.
We literally tried to get betterfor the black and brown
students, kind of trampled overthat.
But I guess the little W's thatwe did get cool.
I'm still sore about
SPEAKER_01 (26:26):
that.
Are you talking about the thingthat happened with the eighth
grader and her...
Oh, yeah.
Oh, the senior and the fatherwith the...
SPEAKER_00 (26:32):
It was the student body president and the dad.
And the dad.
And the father-daughter dance.
Kaepernick, Trump.
Yeah, that foolishness.
And then next after that, littlekids getting called the N-word.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (26:45):
Yeah.
I feel like...
Oh, man.
Yeah, I'm not letting that go.
No, I want to talk.
I actually do want to talk.
We didn't...
That didn't happen during thepandemic.
That happened before the
SPEAKER_00 (26:54):
pandemic.
Yeah, it happened before.
But we didn't
SPEAKER_01 (26:56):
talk about it in that episode.
I'm surprised we didn't talkabout that.
SPEAKER_00 (26:58):
You know what?
I think because things werestill fresh.
Oh.
And I think, you know, from theaftermath of the black alumna
group and them trying to, Iguess, figure out where they
were going to move and all ofthis other stuff.
And we were...
Still sore about it.
I'm going to be honest.
I'm still sore about it.
So it was kind of like Voldemortwith us for a little minute.
(27:22):
Not Voldemort.
You know, you talk about it, butyou don't say the name.
Yeah.
Just so that the wound didn'tget reopened.
Because at that point, it wasbad.
It really was.
SPEAKER_01 (27:34):
no i think okay so yeah no yeah i'm sorry y'all i
know we're supposed to betalking about podcasting and all
that but like this is actually avery this is something we need
to talk about don't mind us weneed to talk about this where i
could quick anybody that is fromdominican or whatever feel free
to chime in comments wherever idon't care feel free but no i
want to mention something aboutthat because i remember when
that all went down i think i mayhave even mentioned it to you at
(27:56):
one point but i feel like nowthat it's At least five years
removed.
It must have been much longer atthis point.
Yes, it's longer.
I do know that when it happened,my mother at that point was
still doing costuming forDominicans high school plays.
The directors for the Dominicanplays, I will not name them, but
(28:19):
anyone who knows them knowsthem.
Usually they love my mom.
She started doing stuff when Iwas doing plays there.
And she kind of continued afterI graduated.
And she was there up until thatpoint.
Because, because, because theylet her go.
Like my mom was only contractedthrough them to do costumes and
(28:39):
stuff, whatever.
But I think came that spring,they made an excuse as to why
she couldn't come back.
Without fully saying that wasbecause of me being involved
with...
basically trying to get justicefor the black students at
Dominican for what had happenedbetween the senior president at
the time and her father at thatfather-daughter dance.
(29:01):
We should also kind of talkabout what happened.
So what happened was there's afather-daughter dance that
normally happens at Dominican,still happens, I'm pretty sure,
but this particular time, It'slike they dress in themes, like
the fathers and daughters dress.
They usually theme it up whenthey come together, you know,
and then they do the dance,whatever the music's playing,
(29:22):
blah, blah, blah.
But also there's like chaperonesthere that are supposed to kind
of approve of what these fathersand daughters are wearing before
they go in.
Somehow it slipped through thecracks that there was a father
and a daughter that came asTrump and Kaepernick.
And at that time, there was alot of controversy over
Kaepernick's kneeling and Youknow, I think Trump was
(29:44):
obviously still big back thentalking about, like...
I think he...
God, he wasn't president, washe?
No, not yet.
He wasn't president yet.
No, not yet.
He hadn't...
Okay.
I can't even remember.
Like, I can't remember what...
SPEAKER_00 (29:54):
I think he was...
I think he was running.
Okay.
Or, like, just throwing his hatinto the ring to campaign.
SPEAKER_02 (30:03):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (30:04):
And I remember him being very vocal about it.
So he was kind of...
At the forefront ofanti-kneeling, anti-subtle,
silent protest during sportingevents.
SPEAKER_01 (30:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (30:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (30:22):
Claiming that you're reprimanding your American
rights or freedom or blah, Idon't know, something along
those lines, where it's likeyou're not a true American if
you're kneeling or doinganything outside of putting your
hand on your heart.
SPEAKER_02 (30:34):
Correct.
Correct.
SPEAKER_01 (30:35):
And I feel like even at that point, that kind of
sparked the movement where otherpeople who were kind of on
Kaepernick's side of things wereeither not, obviously they
probably weren't kneeling, butmaybe they weren't standing up
and putting their hand overtheir heart at the beginning of
the school day or doing, youknow, they just, they weren't
doing the things that were justbeing told that they had to do.
(30:56):
So in this instance, there was aphoto that got leaked from
Snapchat and With the father andthe daughter.
The daughter was kneeling.
The father was, like, Trump.
Daughter was Kaepernick.
And father, from the picture Iremember seeing, got on the news
and everything, like, pointed atthe daughter.
(31:17):
I forget what the caption said.
I think it may have said, like,you're fired or something,
something, something.
I think it was.
Something like that.
It was very tongue-in-cheek, butI guess it was also, like, a
picture that they thought wasnever get out.
Like...
These people pay a lot of moneyto go to a school to be smart
and not be that smart at thesame time.
But it is what it is.
(31:39):
So that happened.
Outrage.
All hell broke loose.
You know, we, myself, Free,Caitlyn as well.
Shout out to Caitlyn.
Shout out to Caitlyn.
And a bunch of us, not just us,but there was a whole bunch of
us that came and was just like,you know, like, what the fuck?
What's going on?
Like, why haven't y'all doneanything?
(31:59):
And I remember we were trying tohave a conversation with the
dean of the school at the timeor was it the president?
SPEAKER_00 (32:06):
I don't
SPEAKER_01 (32:06):
remember.
We
SPEAKER_00 (32:07):
were trying to talk to whoever we would, you know,
have the time of day to see us.
it even trickled into more thanthat guys.
It was like all of the blackalumni from that school.
And it did not matter what youryear was.
They came in full force.
They made a Facebook group.
We were in that group.
(32:27):
Um, And this is where it getssore for me.
So we're in a group.
We're all talking about ourexperiences at this PWI and how
things like this are not justisolated incidents.
This is like a trickle effectdepending on what's going on,
whatever the social climate was,all of that good stuff.
So...
(32:49):
Myself, Jessica, and Caitlin, Iguess we were the young people
at the forefront.
We were more the younger ones,yeah.
We were very vocal.
We were on our Facebook pages.
We even went on, it was anotherpodcast or it was a radio show.
We went on two.
It was at Lil Dizzy's, PeteyPaul.
And the other one was at LilDizzy's.
What is his name?
I see his face.
(33:09):
Yeah,
SPEAKER_01 (33:09):
I see his face too.
SPEAKER_00 (33:10):
You got glasses.
Yeah.
I've seen you recently.
I forget your name.
SPEAKER_01 (33:14):
It's going to come back, but
SPEAKER_00 (33:15):
yeah.
Put it somewhere in the commentsor the caption later on.
But we went on that.
A lot of people got wind of it.
And when it was time to draft, Iguess, the formal letter
SPEAKER_02 (33:28):
to
SPEAKER_00 (33:29):
submit to the school to say, hey, these are our
grievances.
We need these particular facultymembers, you know, either
reprimanded or, quite frankly,get rid of them.
They're not conducive toanything.
A few of them come up, and thereason why, because I forgot
this part, After the photo cameout and everybody was talking
(33:51):
about it, underclassmen, theyhad to be like eighth grade,
ninth grade.
They were black and whiteupperclassmen called them the
N-word.
So naturally you go to youradministrative person.
And I think it was Ms.
Salvaggio at the time.
And they told her what happened.
(34:13):
And this is their account.
I wasn't there.
I'm just going by what thesekids told us that instead of
trying to thoroughly investigatewho said what or who did this,
because this is supposed to benot what a Dominican night is
supposed to be.
That's not sisterly.
That's not anything.
She was like, this is a sad dayat Dominican.
(34:34):
Yeah.
And just summed it up at that.
And I was like, what?
She does that.
Oh, my goodness.
I was like, what?
So that's what also riled us upto create this group.
So when it came down toformulating the letter, we were
all supposed to have input.
The older alumna werespearheading it.
(34:55):
And there was one particularmeeting I didn't get to go to
because I was at work to where,you know, we've had words in the
group chat because sometimes youYou don't see eye to eye with a
lot of stuff.
And they ganged up on Caitlynfrom what I was told from that
meeting.
If I was at that meeting too,they probably would have came
for me and it would have been...
It would have been way worse.
SPEAKER_02 (35:14):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (35:14):
I think I was there at that meeting.
Yeah.
It would have been way worse.
Because like I said, we didexchange words with the older
set.
Because at that point, thereason why we had the exchange
of words is because, you know,we're trying to enact real
change.
And what you're trying to do iscompromise and kind of sort of,
(35:37):
you know, placate words.
I wouldn't go so far as to saythe oppressor, but, you know.
SPEAKER_01 (35:44):
Well, you know, another part of that that I
thought about, and I think wealso kind of figured out, was
that a lot of them had childrenthere still.
SPEAKER_00 (35:53):
Yeah, one of them did.
SPEAKER_01 (35:54):
And didn't want their kids to be kicked out.
SPEAKER_00 (35:57):
Exactly, because it was going to come.
SPEAKER_01 (35:59):
So they had to play it safer, which is why I feel in
the end, Dominican ended upsiding or at least listening to
them more than they listen to usbecause we have nothing to lose.
They do.
SPEAKER_00 (36:12):
Not just that.
We were like, rah, rah, we'recoming.
SPEAKER_01 (36:15):
We were the Malcolms.
We weren't the Martins.
SPEAKER_00 (36:17):
Yeah, we were definitely not Martins.
I was like, look, y'all gonnahave to get me because I'm not
stopping.
I was so livid.
I was like, look, this gottagive.
And the only reason why I got somad is no, I wasn't directly
called the N-word ever atschool.
But Obama got elected.
I will never forget this to thisday because that was when my
(36:41):
rose-colored glasses got slappedoff my face.
And what I mean by that is whenyou go to PWIs, Growing up, they
always, always, always presentthis whole like, oh, this is a
family.
Everybody loves each other.
We're all friends.
And then Obama gets elected.
I'm a sophomore at this point.
(37:01):
So at Dominican, they all havedifferent sweaters.
They have the black sweaters forthe underclassmen.
When you become a junior, youget a red sweater.
And when you become a senior,you get a navy.
So you had people showing theirpolitical affiliations based on,
well, upperclassmen, because wecould and do it based on their
political parties.
(37:21):
So if you were red Republican,you could be a senior, but
you're wearing that juniorsweater.
If you're a senior, becauseobviously juniors don't have
them, you know the seniors, hadtheir Navy sweaters.
Well, no seniors would have hadtheir junior sweaters already.
They would have had their redsweaters.
So if they were a senior, butthey were Republican, they wore
(37:41):
their red sweater.
Oh, I see what you mean.
If they were Democrat, then theyjust, you know, stay to uniform.
And if they were neutral, they,they wore black.
And then you have people in ourclass that we, quite frankly, I
felt like I was friends with,but you're going on fake.
This is how old this is.
I didn't have Facebook at thetime.
(38:02):
I had MySpace, though.
They had some of them onMySpace.
I will never forget.
This girl broke.
Your ass was broke.
I ain't going to say your name,but she was broke.
Talking about Obama is going tobe the N-word house, not the
White House anymore, and you'recoming for my parents' taxes.
(38:22):
Bitch, your parents do the sameshit that I do.
And what my mom did, my mom wasa teacher.
Like, your parents weren'tmaking so damn much to where
that would affect you.
And I hate when people talkabout taxes anyway, because this
is why I feel like...
Who was
SPEAKER_01 (38:38):
paying taxes?
Like, none of us were.
None of us in high school werepaying
SPEAKER_00 (38:41):
taxes yet.
And even your parents, it's kindof like, when people talk about
taxes...
I mean, we were.
Some of
SPEAKER_01 (38:45):
us probably were.
If we were 16, we could work.
SPEAKER_00 (38:47):
Oh, yeah.
But
SPEAKER_01 (38:49):
still.
SPEAKER_00 (38:50):
But this is why I say people...
really need to get a handle oneducation and why college should
be free for you to electivelychoose to go.
Because I don't know about you,but when I went to college and
you had your tuition, theyliterally showed you a breakdown
of where all of your tuitionmoney was going.
(39:11):
And depending on what type ofcollege you went to, so...
I went to UL.
So they're trying to get theirsports at the time, trying to
get their sports up.
So a lot of the tuition went tosports.
Then a dollar went to thelibrary.
I was like, why the hell adollar only going to the
library?
But, you know, when you'retrying to get that sportsman
(39:32):
money.
You put your money where youwant it to go.
So I'm using that as an examplebecause that is the same thing
with taxes.
You can literally, as publicknowledge people, you can go
online, go to whatever yourgovernment forum is, whether
it's just the city breakdown,state breakdown, government as a
whole.
You can literally see anitemized list of where all your
(39:55):
money is going.
And quite frankly, a lot of itis just change that you would
pick up off the damn ground.
You talking about people tryingto take your money?
Girl, you ain't even going tosee that.
But I digress.
So that's what I mean by, youknow, why we got so riled up
when that situation happened,because we had just went through
that as sophomores.
(40:15):
And it's like now it's like dejavu.
This stuff keeps happening.
It can't keep happening.
But like you said, the olderalumna had kids there.
They have a stake.
You don't pay thousands ofdollars.
You don't want it to just godown the tubes because some
young upstarts are causing aruckus.
And now they're singling outyour kid.
So let me compromise with thesepeople real quick.
(40:37):
And
SPEAKER_01 (40:37):
I'm not really sure if anything ever came of that.
I'm not sure because, I mean,that wasn't something that was
communicated to me.
You probably neither, Caitlin.
SPEAKER_00 (40:47):
No, one of them got a position, remember?
I think she's still there.
SPEAKER_01 (40:51):
Like an actual position within the school?
Like as a what?
SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
I forget what she was.
It was like some type ofposition they created and...
One of them got appointed to it.
And remember, we knew she gotappointed because I think it was
after that.
I don't remember exactly howlong.
Something else came about.
And the younger kids, remember,they started kind of getting
(41:17):
into, well, we got to saysomething.
And we specifically said, thisparticular person, they're going
to have you talk to her.
Do not trust her.
Because she was at the school.
I think she might still bethere.
SPEAKER_01 (41:29):
Today's episode is unofficially sponsored by Self
Reflection.
It's free, painful, andavailable 24-7.
Side effects may include cryingin your car, texting your ex,
pivoting your career, andadmitting you're wrong.
Use responsibly.
(41:49):
I guess I say all that to sayI'm so happy that we kind of
communicated that because I feellike that needed to be said,
even though it has nothing to dowith being 100 episodes.
But I also think that it is aprecursor to why the podcast
exists, first and foremost.
Because if you think about evenjust what I experienced with the
World War II Museum, it was kindof deja vu as well.
It's in the same context.
(42:10):
And now that I'm a businessowner, knowing that Dominican is
a privately owned school, andjust knowing how it works on the
administrative side to anextent, I can...
not necessarily empathize withthem I don't empathize with them
at all but I think because Ihave more knowledge about like
(42:31):
how it all works and why and whyyou know businesses exist the
way they do and how they can benot necessarily malicious or
like how they are able totrickle truth information so
that they stay on the right sideof the government.
(42:56):
How do I put this?
How do I put this?
I think I just understand moreabout business structure.
not unfortunately, I think Ineed to know this.
I think I need to know this sothat when I see like something
bad happening and justice ishappening and whatnot, like I
can call it out easier and I'mable, I'm more able to just
understand where their headspace is just because I'm
(43:20):
experiencing it for myself rightnow as a business owner.
But yeah, that World War IImuseum, World War II museum, I'm
not even about to go into allthat again.
Y'all, there's episodes aboutthat.
That kind of shook me.
Throughout the 100 episodes.
What else has shook me?
I think there were somefriendships and relationships
(43:41):
that I had during that timeperiod that are no longer there.
Not necessarily due to thepodcast, but just due to having
differences in differentopinions that are related to
what we were just talking about.
Just having...
Everyone has nuanced opinions onracial themes within...
(44:03):
of the American context, I wouldeven say, because not that they
don't exist elsewhere, but likehere it's just very prevalent
because this country was builtoff of that.
That's why we, that's why thiscountry exists.
And that's like black peoplekind of built this country and
white folks obviously likebenefited from it the most.
We say like we're black, We areblack, black people.
(44:24):
We still only about maybe 13,20% in general.
We live in a predominantly blackcity.
So it feels as though there'smore black people than there
actually are.
But when you go elsewhere, yougo anywhere else outside of this
city, outside of this, anywherethat is not urban, anywhere that
is not like any of the ruralplaces, all like it's flooded
with white folks.
And, you know, I realize that.
(44:45):
And I sometimes forget that.
And because of that, There's alot of people that have not kind
of experienced racism orprejudice from a perspective
that relates to systemic racismwithin America.
(45:06):
Anyway, wow, that was a lot.
Another thing I want to quicklytalk about.
Wait, I kind of talked aboutthat already.
I kind of talked about burnout.
I talked about like takingbreaks.
I did that already.
Let's see.
Finally.
Oh, look, she made it.
All right.
Well.
Aria's here, y'all.
She always makes her appearanceat least once every episode.
And I think this is a great timeto quickly just kind of talk
(45:28):
about where I think I want thispodcast to go in the next couple
of episode seasons.
I'm not exactly sure how I'mgoing to structure it just yet.
As y'all know, this is like aself-produced podcast, mostly by
myself.
I sometimes have help.
Sometimes I have people that cancome in and edit.
Sometimes I have people come inand just help me, you know,
structure the podcast.
(45:48):
But most of the time it's justme and when I have the time out
of my extremely busy schedule.
But what I'm hoping for the nextseason of this podcast, because
I am getting older, because allof us millennials are now grown
adults, right?
grown-er adults.
I want to focus ourcommunications, our
(46:12):
conversations on themes that weare currently experiencing.
I know for myself, I am 33 yearsold, and I am now in a place
where I remember back in 2020,not that I really didn't want
kids at the point, but I wasn'treally thinking about them.
Now I'm like, maybe I shouldhurry up and get another one,
(46:33):
but also I think about how muchI've don't have the money for
one and that I have the choiceif I want one right now.
So like I'm kind of battlingthat and I want to kind of, we
talked about the biologicalclock on the podcast before, but
I feel like now that I am in thethick of it, I'm like at the age
where majority of women arelike, Ooh, what do I do?
(46:55):
I want to just kind of do somemore remarks on that.
And now, you know, Free got awhole child now, and I feel like
Free did not have a whole childfive years ago.
So I think it's going to beinteresting.
We'll probably talk about thatin the next episode a little bit
too.
Actually, we definitely willbecause we're talking about sex.
So, duh, that'll be in the nextepisode.
And I do want to also kind ofgive– I want to start giving
(47:19):
some, like, advice to people–people that are in their 20s
people that are just trying tofind their way this is a podcast
about self-awareness and I dothink that one thing I would
love to do I'm going to startwith you free for this episode
is I'm going to I will ask youthis question I'll ask it to you
(47:41):
right before we end and we'reabout to be ending just a moment
but let me get this and then Iwill ask you this but I want to
make sure that these next coupleof episodes are intentional.
I want it to also feelsustainable for myself because I
don't know necessarily if I amgoing to continue to put out
these episodes very often at themoment.
(48:04):
I want to, but my life right nowhas me in 10 billion different
locations and I want...
To still be able to focus on thethings that I take priority in
my life, which is mainly myhealth, mainly my family and
friends.
I want to make sure I have timefor them.
(48:25):
I also want to make sure that Ihave time for the things that
nourish me, like my music that Ihave been neglecting for feels
like years now because I justdon't have the time.
And focusing on Triple ThreadMedia, which is a Just a branch
of the music that I'm alreadymaking.
I want it to be, but I'm notthere just yet.
(48:46):
So with all that in mind, it'slike also hosting a podcast.
That's a lot.
That's a lot right there.
Look at all those balls I'mtrying to juggle.
It's impossible.
I don't think even a juggler canjuggle all those balls.
So why can't I?
How can I?
So that's what I want.
(49:08):
And I want it to be structured.
I need structure.
So if you see this or hear this,wherever you are, if you are
interested in helping me dothat, there's a place for you
here and we can collaborate andwork together.
As most of you already know,y'all have seen the stuff that's
(49:28):
on my podcast page.
Y'all have seen what's onInstagrams and our Patreon and
everything.
You see what I'm capable of.
You've seen the stuff I do withTriple Bear Media.
I have a lot of capabilities.
I am very talented, I find, whenit comes to just being a
creative and even just getting avision out there.
(49:49):
And one thing that I really dopride myself in is that I will
never not...
do something because I'm scaredto do it.
I will try it.
Even if it's just once, I'mgoing to try it.
And even if I fail at it, it iswhat it is.
I won't feel bad because atleast I tried.
Before we leave, this issomething I'm going to start
(50:10):
doing with all my guests becauseI really do enjoy asking this
question.
I even ask it to myself.
So, Free, we are both in ourJesus year, right?
33.
UNKNOWN (50:22):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_01 (50:22):
So if you could tell yourself, your 23-year-old self,
give your 23-year-old selfadvice for your upcoming 10
years, what would it be?
SPEAKER_00 (50:32):
Go outside.
What I mean by that, man, pleasesee outside.
See things outside of just yourgeneral scope.
There's more to life than whereyou live.
There's more to life than justthe friend group that you've
made.
Hell, there's more outside ofyour life than the family that
(50:52):
you have.
Go learn something becausethat's why we're in the
predicament that we're in rightnow is that a lot of people just
want to remain in their bubble.
Burst it.
go eat that food that you saidlooked nasty it's probably good
go to this place that you didn'teven you don't even know how to
pronounce it go don't let peoplehold you back and what I mean by
(51:18):
people holding you back it's notnecessarily the people in your
life holding you back sometimesit's you creating the excuse
that these people are holding meback and in actuality it's you
you're scared to travel byyourself you're scared to go eat
in this restaurant alone you'rescared to go see this movie Go
do stuff for yourself.
Please.
As for 23-year-old me, I alwayswanted to be outside, but I
(51:41):
wanted people to be outsidewith.
And because of that, I feel likeI've missed out on a lot.
What else would I tell23-year-old me?
And this is just an insider forme and my cousin.
Lady and the Tramp don't dothat.
Okay?
(52:01):
Okay.
Leave the spaghetti on theplate.
On the fork.
That was from episode one whenwe had the sex conversation.
And I was like, oh, yeah, Ladyand the Tramp, you know, spice
it up.
Oh, yes.
To this day, five years later,my cousin still cracks that
joke.
Oh, my gosh.
(52:22):
It's an insider between the twoof us.
And that's one of the beautifulthings I've taken away from this
podcast.
What else I would say to a23-year-old me?
Be true to yourself.
Be true to yourself.
Stop code switching early.
Yeah, that was one of the thingsI recently done in the past,
(52:43):
which I was about to be three.
I want to say four years ago.
Stop code switching at work.
The best thing ever.
Oh, it's liberating.
SPEAKER_01 (52:53):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (52:54):
I love it.
SPEAKER_01 (52:55):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (52:58):
And just, I guess.
You know, the friends that youdo have, value them.
Value your friends.
And learn how to communicate.
That's the advice I would give23-year-old me.
Okay.
SPEAKER_01 (53:14):
I love that.
Thank you for sharing that,Bree.
So, thank y'all for listening.
I hope that y'all join us forthe next episode, which will be
chatting about sex as amillennial.
In 2025.
All right, y'all.
(53:36):
Bye.
Thank you.
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