December 16, 2025 • 14 mins
What if the missing piece isn’t more motivation, but more mercy?
Today I open up about five years of stop-and-start creative work and get honest about what actually helps you show up again: self-compassion that is real, practical, and repeatable when life gets messy.
Expect candid stories, approachable tools, and a reminder that growth isn’t a verdict—it’s a practice. If this conversation gives you a little relief and a clearer path forward, share it with a friend who needs gentleness, subscribe for more honest self-growth, and leave a review to tell me which tool you’ll try next.
Resources Used Today:
Self-Compassion: Theory, Method, Research, and Intervention
How to Practice Self-Compassion: 8 Techniques and Tips
Contact The Self-Growth Train Podcast
* Website www.TheSelfGrowthTrainPodcast.com
* Instagram @theselfgrowthtrainpodcast
* Facebook @thesgtpodcast
* Tik Tok @theselfgrowthtrainpod
Until the next stop dear passengers – Safe Travels!
-FMRP
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Hello, my dear passengers, and welcome aboard a
self-growth train, a podcastthat combines personal stories,
opinions, and research in orderto better guide you through your
self-growth journey.
My name is Frances Mariti VeraPacheco, and I am your target.
First, I just want to say thankyou for tuning back into the
(00:28):
podcast.
As you know, over the lastalmost five years, yes, because
next week we turn five yearsold.
Anyways, just a little moment topat myself on the back.
But, anyways, over the last fiveyears, I have struggled
consistently with beingconsistent.
So I just want to say thank youso much for your patience.
(00:51):
Thank you so much for not givingup on me.
Thank you for being sounderstanding in my humanity and
in my lack of skills.
Because I get on to myself allthe time for not being
consistent and not doing thethings that I say that I'm gonna
do, especially for the podcast.
So yeah, like sometimes I'm notthat gentle with myself, but
(01:12):
like then I receive a messagefrom you guys, or somebody will
see me in person and be like,hey, I listened to this episode
and it like really made my day,or it really helped me through
something, and it just kind ofreminds me why I'm doing this in
the first place.
So again, thank you so so muchfor being patient with me.
(01:32):
I promise I am on a journey togetting better, but with that
journey comes obstacles andhurdles, and mine has been being
consistent.
So please, please keep beingpatient with me and keep loving
up on me because I need it andit makes me really happy.
Well, my dear passengers, thetime has come to buckle up those
(01:54):
seatbells and dive into thefirst stop of the day.
That is the topic of the day,and today's topic is
self-compassion.
Self-compassion is defined bythe National Library of Medicine
as the state of being supportivetowards oneself when
experiencing suffering or pain.
I know what you're probablythinking.
(02:15):
You're thinking, Francis, you'redoing an episode on
self-compassion after talkingabout, you know, not being
consistent.
Yes, because here's the thing.
I get onto myself all the time,all the time for not being
consistent with the podcast,even though I'm passionate about
the podcast, even though I'msuper motivated about the
podcast, and even though I lovethe podcast over the last five
(02:36):
years, I have not been able toput my focus and my purpose and
my energy fully into the podcastto make sure that it is what I
intended it to be, which was aweekly podcast, right?
So I don't know, I woke up todayand I was like, it's time to
talk about self-compassionbecause I'm going hard on myself
(02:59):
and I need to stop.
And there's probably somebodyout there who's doing the same
thing about some other thinggoing on in their lives.
So to that, I say, no, no, wecan do better.
For today's episode, I will beusing three resources.
Two of these are articles that Ifound online that were actually
really, really helpful.
And of course, last but notleast, my own experiences with
(03:21):
self-compassion.
The first resource that I'mgoing to use today is an article
by Positive Psychology.comtitled How to Practice
Self-Compassion (03:30):
Eight Techniques and Tips.
The first tip that they talkabout is treating yourself as
you would a friend.
Now, I don't know if youremember, but during my last
episode, I covered friendshipsand I defined what a friend was
and how a friendship should lookin order to be mutually
(03:53):
beneficial between the parties,right?
And I think that's a veryimportant definition to bring
back into this episode becausethe way that you're able to
treat yourself as you would afriend is by understanding how
you treat your friends.
Like I cannot speak for you, butI can speak for myself, right?
(04:15):
And the way that I treat myfriends is honestly not to brag,
but really, really good.
I love my friends, okay?
I am there for my friends.
I might not be there a hundredpercent every single time
because some of them live faraway and some of them have
financial struggles that I don'thave the capacity to help with.
(04:39):
But when it comes to likesomebody that they can talk to,
when it comes to like somebodythat they can come to to feel
not judged and feel safe andfeel vulnerable, I'm that
person.
And so when I treat myself likeas I would a friend, again, I
don't do this all the time,that's why I'm doing this
(05:00):
episode, but when I do do it,right, I tend to come to myself
with so much grace and so muchlove and so much welcoming
energy of like this is a safespace for you to tell me
everything that is happening.
And again, in retrospect, it'skind of like, yeah, that should
(05:23):
be the energy that I have withmyself at all times.
But I mean, like, you know howit is.
It's we can't always maintainthe same energy throughout the
day.
But yeah, treat yourself as youwould a friend.
And I'm kind of curious, like,how do you treat your friends?
How do you show your friendssupport?
How do you show your friendsthat you love them?
(05:43):
Because I think it will beinteresting to also analyze the
love languages behind it.
Because I I know that I use allfive lump languages, which I
don't remember all of them rightnow.
Like, I mean, like I know whatthey are, I just I can't
remember them.
But, anyways, the point is I amcurious to see how you treat
(06:04):
your friends and how your lifewill look differently if you
started to treat yourself as afriend.
Fool for thought.
The second tip is to become moreself-aware.
And again, I'm gonna use myselfas an example.
Like, I realized that due tomany different factors, I
(06:25):
struggle with being consistent.
Really, the problem is I'm notdisciplined and I have not
invested the time, money, orenergy into becoming more
consistent over the last fiveyears, right?
So that is my reality.
That is what I'm becomingself-aware about, right?
However, just because I am awareof my shortcomings doesn't mean
(06:50):
that I have to hammer on myselffor having that shortcoming,
right?
So one of the ways that they saythat you can deal with this is
by you using releasingstatements, which is kind of
opposite to positiveaffirmations.
So positive affirmations is whenyou say things like, I am
(07:11):
enough, I am worth it, I amgreat, I'm going to have an
amazing day.
Actually, if you follow me on mysocial media, which actually I
do keep up with way more thanthe podcast, which that's not
something to necessarily beproud of for right now.
But I'm beingself-compassionate, I guess.
Anyways, I post affirmations onmy social media all the time,
(07:36):
positive affirmations.
However, this is a new thingcalled releasing statements.
So a releasing statement is whenyou say something like I had
every right to be upset, andit's okay to be upset.
It's not excusing your behavior,it's humanizing the fact that
(08:02):
you are able to get upset.
Now, how you get upset and howyou deal with situations, that's
a whole different thing, right?
And depending on the person,they might be doing it right or
they might be doing it wrong,right?
Because our definition of rightor wrong is really subjective,
it just depends on the personand their points of view.
(08:23):
But, anyways, I'm getting alittle bit sidetracked, so let's
go back.
Yes, another way that you canhelp yourself become more
self-aware is byself-forgiveness.
Again, you are a human, thingshappen, you don't have control
over every single thing thathappens in your life.
Trust me, if you did, you wouldnot be a human, you would be
(08:44):
minimum a demigod.
And as fun as that sounds, thatsounds like a lot of
responsibility.
So I prefer to stay a human.
The third tip that they give isto regain perspective.
Well, how do we regainperspective?
The first way is to let go ofour need of outside validation.
(09:06):
Wow, I feel attacked because ifthere's somebody out there that
is constantly seeking outsidevalidation, it's me.
I am the queen of that.
I'm not proud of it, but it'strue.
I do struggle a lot with gainingoutside validation just because
I don't know, like sometimesokay, honestly, it feels great
(09:28):
when people say you're doinggreat, okay?
It like it's a it's a nicefeeling, so it's something that
I like to hear, but when I don'thear it, then I'm feeling like
I'm a failure.
And so it really dampens mymood, it dampens my self-esteem
and makes me not want to beself-compassionate, right?
(09:48):
But if I were to let go of thatneed to have that outside
validation, and I started tohave inner validation of saying,
like, no, you know what?
I do have a podcast.
I've had a podcast for fiveyears and I've had my ups and
downs, but I've never given up.
I take my little breaks and thenI come right back.
(10:08):
Like, that's one way to look atmyself with inner validation,
saying, like, no, I haven'tgiven up.
I understand that I'mstruggling, and I know that
there's hurdles and obstaclesalong the way, but I'm still
here.
I'm still trying, I'm stillpicking up the pieces and
putting them together andrearranging the puzzle and just
(10:30):
proving to myself over and overagain that I have that ability.
If I just tap into my innervalidation center.
Wow, that was powerful.
I need a second, I need a secondto digest what I just said.
Anyway, anywho, anyhow, I knowthat the title can be a little
(10:51):
misleading because it says thatthere's eight tips and
techniques, but really it's moreof like three tips and eight
techniques on how to achievethose tips.
Which is, I gave you asummarized version of that, and
I will be posting on theresources used today the link to
(11:13):
the article so you can read thefull article.
But yes, for the purpose of thisepisode, I am going to keep it
sweet and short, which is veryunheard of from me because come
on, let's face it, I'm PuertoRican.
I don't know how to keep itsweet and short.
The second resource that we'regonna use today is an article by
the Self-Compassion Institutewith Dr.
(11:35):
Kristen Neff.
It's basically an article wherethey define self-compassion,
they give you tips onself-compassion, they give you
guided practices onself-compassion, and also they
give you exercises that you cantry because self-compassion is
not something that you're gonnalearn overnight.
(11:56):
So there's no way for me toreally summarize that article.
I just wanted to mention it onthe episode because I think it's
gonna be a great resource foryou, and it's gonna be
definitely a great, amazingresource for myself, right?
But yeah, I look forward tostarting to do those exercises
and following those tips ofpractice because your girl needs
(12:20):
to be more self-compassionate,and I have a feeling you might
do too.
Well, my dear passengers, thetime has come for the last step
of the day.
That is recap time.
Today's episode discussself-compassion, which we now
know is the state of beingsupportive towards oneself when
experiencing suffering or pain.
(12:42):
In fact, we now know that inorder to become more
self-compassionate to ourselves,there are three tips we can use.
The first one is treatingourselves as we would our
friends, the second one isbecoming more self-aware, and
the third one is regainingperspective.
Again, there are differenttechniques that we can use to
(13:04):
achieve these tips in oureveryday life, but really, if we
get down to the nitty-gritty ofit, the way to become
self-compassionate or becomebetter at being
self-compassionate is to treatourselves like we would a
friend, become more self-aware,and regain perspective.
Remember, self-growth is anendless journey towards
(13:26):
self-improvement.
However, you don't ever have todo it alone.
As your tour guide, my goal isto guide you with the best
intentions and the best researchavailable.
Make sure to follow me on myInstagram, Facebook, and TikTok
at the Self Girl Train Podcast,and to check out my new website,
www.the self girl trainpodcast.com.
(13:47):
As always, all of the resourcesused today have been added to
the episode's descriptions.
Well, until the next up, dearpassengers, safe travels.
Bye.
Hello, my dear passengers, and welcome aboard a
self-growth train, a podcastthat combines personal stories,
opinions, and research in orderto better guide you through your
self-growth journey.
My name is Frances Mariti VeraPacheco, and I am your target.
First, I just want to say thankyou for tuning back into the
(00:28):
podcast.
As you know, over the lastalmost five years, yes, because
next week we turn five yearsold.
Anyways, just a little moment topat myself on the back.
But, anyways, over the last fiveyears, I have struggled
consistently with beingconsistent.
So I just want to say thank youso much for your patience.
(00:51):
Thank you so much for not givingup on me.
Thank you for being sounderstanding in my humanity and
in my lack of skills.
Because I get on to myself allthe time for not being
consistent and not doing thethings that I say that I'm gonna
do, especially for the podcast.
So yeah, like sometimes I'm notthat gentle with myself, but
(01:12):
like then I receive a messagefrom you guys, or somebody will
see me in person and be like,hey, I listened to this episode
and it like really made my day,or it really helped me through
something, and it just kind ofreminds me why I'm doing this in
the first place.
So again, thank you so so muchfor being patient with me.
(01:32):
I promise I am on a journey togetting better, but with that
journey comes obstacles andhurdles, and mine has been being
consistent.
So please, please keep beingpatient with me and keep loving
up on me because I need it andit makes me really happy.
Well, my dear passengers, thetime has come to buckle up those
(01:54):
seatbells and dive into thefirst stop of the day.
That is the topic of the day,and today's topic is
self-compassion.
Self-compassion is defined bythe National Library of Medicine
as the state of being supportivetowards oneself when
experiencing suffering or pain.
I know what you're probablythinking.
(02:15):
You're thinking, Francis, you'redoing an episode on
self-compassion after talkingabout, you know, not being
consistent.
Yes, because here's the thing.
I get onto myself all the time,all the time for not being
consistent with the podcast,even though I'm passionate about
the podcast, even though I'msuper motivated about the
podcast, and even though I lovethe podcast over the last five
(02:36):
years, I have not been able toput my focus and my purpose and
my energy fully into the podcastto make sure that it is what I
intended it to be, which was aweekly podcast, right?
So I don't know, I woke up todayand I was like, it's time to
talk about self-compassionbecause I'm going hard on myself
(02:59):
and I need to stop.
And there's probably somebodyout there who's doing the same
thing about some other thinggoing on in their lives.
So to that, I say, no, no, wecan do better.
For today's episode, I will beusing three resources.
Two of these are articles that Ifound online that were actually
really, really helpful.
And of course, last but notleast, my own experiences with
(03:21):
self-compassion.
The first resource that I'mgoing to use today is an article
by Positive Psychology.comtitled How to Practice
Self-Compassion (03:30):
Eight Techniques and Tips.
The first tip that they talkabout is treating yourself as
you would a friend.
Now, I don't know if youremember, but during my last
episode, I covered friendshipsand I defined what a friend was
and how a friendship should lookin order to be mutually
(03:53):
beneficial between the parties,right?
And I think that's a veryimportant definition to bring
back into this episode becausethe way that you're able to
treat yourself as you would afriend is by understanding how
you treat your friends.
Like I cannot speak for you, butI can speak for myself, right?
(04:15):
And the way that I treat myfriends is honestly not to brag,
but really, really good.
I love my friends, okay?
I am there for my friends.
I might not be there a hundredpercent every single time
because some of them live faraway and some of them have
financial struggles that I don'thave the capacity to help with.
(04:39):
But when it comes to likesomebody that they can talk to,
when it comes to like somebodythat they can come to to feel
not judged and feel safe andfeel vulnerable, I'm that
person.
And so when I treat myself likeas I would a friend, again, I
don't do this all the time,that's why I'm doing this
(05:00):
episode, but when I do do it,right, I tend to come to myself
with so much grace and so muchlove and so much welcoming
energy of like this is a safespace for you to tell me
everything that is happening.
And again, in retrospect, it'skind of like, yeah, that should
(05:23):
be the energy that I have withmyself at all times.
But I mean, like, you know howit is.
It's we can't always maintainthe same energy throughout the
day.
But yeah, treat yourself as youwould a friend.
And I'm kind of curious, like,how do you treat your friends?
How do you show your friendssupport?
How do you show your friendsthat you love them?
(05:43):
Because I think it will beinteresting to also analyze the
love languages behind it.
Because I I know that I use allfive lump languages, which I
don't remember all of them rightnow.
Like, I mean, like I know whatthey are, I just I can't
remember them.
But, anyways, the point is I amcurious to see how you treat
(06:04):
your friends and how your lifewill look differently if you
started to treat yourself as afriend.
Fool for thought.
The second tip is to become moreself-aware.
And again, I'm gonna use myselfas an example.
Like, I realized that due tomany different factors, I
(06:25):
struggle with being consistent.
Really, the problem is I'm notdisciplined and I have not
invested the time, money, orenergy into becoming more
consistent over the last fiveyears, right?
So that is my reality.
That is what I'm becomingself-aware about, right?
However, just because I am awareof my shortcomings doesn't mean
(06:50):
that I have to hammer on myselffor having that shortcoming,
right?
So one of the ways that they saythat you can deal with this is
by you using releasingstatements, which is kind of
opposite to positiveaffirmations.
So positive affirmations is whenyou say things like, I am
(07:11):
enough, I am worth it, I amgreat, I'm going to have an
amazing day.
Actually, if you follow me on mysocial media, which actually I
do keep up with way more thanthe podcast, which that's not
something to necessarily beproud of for right now.
But I'm beingself-compassionate, I guess.
Anyways, I post affirmations onmy social media all the time,
(07:36):
positive affirmations.
However, this is a new thingcalled releasing statements.
So a releasing statement is whenyou say something like I had
every right to be upset, andit's okay to be upset.
It's not excusing your behavior,it's humanizing the fact that
(08:02):
you are able to get upset.
Now, how you get upset and howyou deal with situations, that's
a whole different thing, right?
And depending on the person,they might be doing it right or
they might be doing it wrong,right?
Because our definition of rightor wrong is really subjective,
it just depends on the personand their points of view.
(08:23):
But, anyways, I'm getting alittle bit sidetracked, so let's
go back.
Yes, another way that you canhelp yourself become more
self-aware is byself-forgiveness.
Again, you are a human, thingshappen, you don't have control
over every single thing thathappens in your life.
Trust me, if you did, you wouldnot be a human, you would be
(08:44):
minimum a demigod.
And as fun as that sounds, thatsounds like a lot of
responsibility.
So I prefer to stay a human.
The third tip that they give isto regain perspective.
Well, how do we regainperspective?
The first way is to let go ofour need of outside validation.
(09:06):
Wow, I feel attacked because ifthere's somebody out there that
is constantly seeking outsidevalidation, it's me.
I am the queen of that.
I'm not proud of it, but it'strue.
I do struggle a lot with gainingoutside validation just because
I don't know, like sometimesokay, honestly, it feels great
(09:28):
when people say you're doinggreat, okay?
It like it's a it's a nicefeeling, so it's something that
I like to hear, but when I don'thear it, then I'm feeling like
I'm a failure.
And so it really dampens mymood, it dampens my self-esteem
and makes me not want to beself-compassionate, right?
(09:48):
But if I were to let go of thatneed to have that outside
validation, and I started tohave inner validation of saying,
like, no, you know what?
I do have a podcast.
I've had a podcast for fiveyears and I've had my ups and
downs, but I've never given up.
I take my little breaks and thenI come right back.
(10:08):
Like, that's one way to look atmyself with inner validation,
saying, like, no, I haven'tgiven up.
I understand that I'mstruggling, and I know that
there's hurdles and obstaclesalong the way, but I'm still
here.
I'm still trying, I'm stillpicking up the pieces and
putting them together andrearranging the puzzle and just
(10:30):
proving to myself over and overagain that I have that ability.
If I just tap into my innervalidation center.
Wow, that was powerful.
I need a second, I need a secondto digest what I just said.
Anyway, anywho, anyhow, I knowthat the title can be a little
(10:51):
misleading because it says thatthere's eight tips and
techniques, but really it's moreof like three tips and eight
techniques on how to achievethose tips.
Which is, I gave you asummarized version of that, and
I will be posting on theresources used today the link to
(11:13):
the article so you can read thefull article.
But yes, for the purpose of thisepisode, I am going to keep it
sweet and short, which is veryunheard of from me because come
on, let's face it, I'm PuertoRican.
I don't know how to keep itsweet and short.
The second resource that we'regonna use today is an article by
the Self-Compassion Institutewith Dr.
(11:35):
Kristen Neff.
It's basically an article wherethey define self-compassion,
they give you tips onself-compassion, they give you
guided practices onself-compassion, and also they
give you exercises that you cantry because self-compassion is
not something that you're gonnalearn overnight.
(11:56):
So there's no way for me toreally summarize that article.
I just wanted to mention it onthe episode because I think it's
gonna be a great resource foryou, and it's gonna be
definitely a great, amazingresource for myself, right?
But yeah, I look forward tostarting to do those exercises
and following those tips ofpractice because your girl needs
(12:20):
to be more self-compassionate,and I have a feeling you might
do too.
Well, my dear passengers, thetime has come for the last step
of the day.
That is recap time.
Today's episode discussself-compassion, which we now
know is the state of beingsupportive towards oneself when
experiencing suffering or pain.
(12:42):
In fact, we now know that inorder to become more
self-compassionate to ourselves,there are three tips we can use.
The first one is treatingourselves as we would our
friends, the second one isbecoming more self-aware, and
the third one is regainingperspective.
Again, there are differenttechniques that we can use to
(13:04):
achieve these tips in oureveryday life, but really, if we
get down to the nitty-gritty ofit, the way to become
self-compassionate or becomebetter at being
self-compassionate is to treatourselves like we would a
friend, become more self-aware,and regain perspective.
Remember, self-growth is anendless journey towards
(13:26):
self-improvement.
However, you don't ever have todo it alone.
As your tour guide, my goal isto guide you with the best
intentions and the best researchavailable.
Make sure to follow me on myInstagram, Facebook, and TikTok
at the Self Girl Train Podcast,and to check out my new website,
www.the self girl trainpodcast.com.
(13:47):
As always, all of the resourcesused today have been added to
the episode's descriptions.
Well, until the next up, dearpassengers, safe travels.
Bye.
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