Closing the Chapter: What This Year Taught Me About Becoming

Episode Transcript
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SPEAKER_00 (00:07):
Hello, my dear passengers, and welcome aboard
to Self-Growth Train, a podcastthat combines personal stories,
opinions, and research in orderto better guide you through your
self-growth journey.
My name is Tences MaritimeraPacheco, and I am your tongue.
First things first, I want tosay thank you for tuning back

(00:29):
into another episode for thepodcast.
Because guess what?
We're finally five years old.
I know it doesn't seem like itbecause now the podcast only has
14 episodes.
But keep in mind, I've had thispodcast since December 22nd of
2020.
And it has been a journey.

(00:51):
Let me tell you, my dearpassenger, it has been a
journey.
And you've been there with mefrom the get-go, or maybe you've
been there since last year, ormaybe this is the first time
you're listening to one of myepisodes.
It doesn't matter, regardless ofwhere you have joined me in this
journey.
Just know that it means theworld to me that you choose to
listen to the things that Iprepare for you.

(01:14):
And it also means the world tome that you feel comfortable to
come to me and feel welcome.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou, thank you, thank you.
That is how I wanted to startthe episode today.
And also say to myself, happybirthday to the podcast.
So today's episode is gonna bedifferent.
I've done this before where Iimprovise an episode and I don't

(01:37):
do any research, and I just Italk to you about what has been
going on in my life.
And I think that yesterday beingthe podcast's fifth birthday, I
think it will be cool today tokind of give you an insight of
how this year has shaped mylife, my character, and also

(02:01):
made me realize what's reallyimportant in my life in this
moment in time, right?
So I'm gonna use this episodekind of as a reflection of where
I'm at in my life right now, andI want to share this with you
because I think it's important.
So uh this year, as you know, Iturned 30, which means that I am
stepping into a new era, a newdecade, a new mindset, a new

(02:29):
mentality, a new way of livinglife.
And let me tell you, it has beena year full of lessons, okay?
And again, today's episode isgonna be a recap, so I'm just
gonna recap it as fast as I can.
First things first, you gottawork hard, but you got to rest

(02:49):
hard, okay?
So, as you guys know, at onepoint I had three jobs because I
had the goal of getting my ownapartment and obviously
maintaining my own apartment andbeing financially stable.
However, when at the beginning,I'm not gonna say no, at the
beginning, I needed the threejobs.

(03:10):
I needed the three jobs in orderto get my dreams.
However, there came a pointwhere I was prioritizing work
over rest time, and I got burntout and I got very exhausted,
and I got very not like myself,like I'm usually a pretty light

(03:31):
person, and I was just tired allthe time.
I was also very like, I don'tknow, like I didn't really, I
wasn't depressed because Iwasn't depressed, it was more of
like I didn't want to put effortinto my creative endeavors

(03:53):
because I was putting so mucheffort into my work life that I
had nothing left for me.
So that was a very big lesson tolearn, and I ended up quitting
one of my jobs, and honestly, itwas the best decision I've ever
made.
And then I also stepped backfrom my other job, like by

(04:13):
taking less hours, and thathelped out a lot.
So that is the first lesson thatI learned this year.
Again, you work hard, but youalso rest hard.
All right, I'm not trying to getspiritual, I'm not trying to get
religious, I'm not trying to getphilosophical, I am trying to
get down with you, okay, andtell you straight up, my dear

(04:35):
passenger, your body is yourtemple.
You need to start treating yourbody like it is sacred.
Why?
Because the moment that youstart teaching your body that
it's sacred, you start actingwith reverence, you start acting
with love, you start acting withkindness, you start acting with
the mentality of this is mytemple.
I need to take care of itbecause I only get one temple.

(04:59):
Okay, and this applies toeverything.
I'm talking about what you'reputting in your body, who you're
letting near your body, and alsowhat things you're doing to your
body.
Like it's so important to startlooking at your body as a temple
because it will really reshapehow you see yourself, and also

(05:23):
it will influence how you actand how you allow others to
treat you.
So, a couple of examples of howI've been treating my body as a
temple.
The first one is I finallyadmitted it to myself that it
didn't matter how much exerciseI did or how much diets I did,
for some reason my body justneeded an extra push.

(05:45):
And so I finally made thedecision of getting medical
help.
And that means taking Wigobi.
And I know that a lot of peopledon't like OSEMPIC, a lot of
people don't like Wigobi, a lotof people don't like any of
these shots.
But I can tell you from mypersonal experience, it's not a
cure, it's like a stepping stonethat helps you get to a goal

(06:10):
that later on you're able towork on.
Like for me, my goal was to lose50 pounds minimum, 50 pounds on
WeGobi, so I can start workingout again.
And the reason for this isbecause of my bleeding disorder.
I just want to make sure that Iwon't expose my body to
potential spontaneous bleeds.
And so, yeah, like it's been sixmonths since I started on WeGobi

(06:32):
and I've lost almost 50 pounds.
So now the plan is toincorporate exercise again
because now my body feels betterand I can move better and all of
that.
So, again, that's one way thatI've been taking care of my
temple.
Another way that I've beentaking care of my temple is
waking up at 5 a.m.
Let me tell you, for years I'vebeen wanting to be a part of the

(06:55):
5 a.m.
club.
I don't know why.
It's always been a thing for me.
Like I think it's so great andso cool that people are able to
wake up early and have a momentwith themselves where they don't
owe it to anyone and they can dowhatever they want before they
go to work, right?
So I finally invested on analarm clock made specifically

(07:16):
for people that are hard ofhearing, because as you know, I
lost my hearing in this year,like three years ago.
So alarm clocks and I don'treally get along, but I got this
alarm clock that actually shakesmy bed.
And when I tell you my body hasnow learned to wake up at 5 a.m.
on its own, it's crazy, it'slovely.

(07:36):
I have been having a much betterpoint of view of life because
now I'm able to wake up early,take that moment for myself, and
then focus on getting to work,you know?
So that's the second the secondway that I've been taking care
of my body as a temple.
And the third way that I amtreating my body like a temple

(07:59):
is deciding who has access to mytemple.
And trust me, this is not meantto be just in regards to
romantic slash sexualrelationships.
I'm talking about platonicrelationships, I'm talking about
family relationships.
Your body is a temple.
You need to know how much timeyou have available for other

(08:21):
people to vent to you, forexample.
You have to know what you'recomfortable with when it comes
to dating.
Are you comfortable with handholding?
Are you comfortable with firstdate kisses?
Are you comfortable withhookups?
Like, you have to know whatyou're comfortable with, you
have to know what boundaries youhave, because again, this is

(08:41):
your temple.
So by starting to see your bodyas a temple, you will see a
shift in your perspective onlife as a whole, and you will
start seeing yourself in abetter light.
And I'm telling you, like everyday I wake up and I'm like, my
body is my temple, and I feelvery blessed.
So that is the mentality that Istep into every single day.

(09:03):
And as you can tell, it works,it makes me feel very happy.
All right, let's get back to thelessons that I've learned this
year.
I will say that the third lessonI learned this year is that when
it's time to let it go, it'stime to let it go.
Okay, everything happens for areason.

I say this all the time: everything happens for a reason. (09:22):
undefined
But I think that, at leastpersonally for me, I have such a
determined mentality and such apowerful motivating drive when I
decide to, right?
That sometimes it's very hardfor me to let go because I'm
like, no, I can make thishappen, I can make this happen,
I can do the thing, I can do thething.

(09:43):
Like, if you just let me showyou, I can do the thing.
And here's what I've learned, mydear passengers.
I can do the thing, but is thething meant for me?
Not always, not always, and I'vehad to learn that the hard way.
And I think that this year Ibecame more embracing of the

(10:04):
fact that some relationshipshave expiration dates.
I became comfortable with thefact that sometimes you're gonna
be the villain in somebody'sstory, even if you really
weren't, or if you really were,which I can happen too, you

(10:25):
don't really regret it, right?
And then the other thing thatI've learned on this topic is
that your lived experiences arelessons of themselves, and you
can be thankful for them withoutholding on to them with this

(10:48):
nostalgic idea that by holdingon to them things will return to
the way they were, right?
And I think it's so powerful,and I mean so, so, so powerful,
that as life goes on, youcontinue to learn what you want
in your life, you continue tolearn what is important in your

(11:12):
life, and as you learn, youstart shaping your life
differently than what youprobably thought it was gonna be
like years ago.
So, again, the third lesson forme this year has been when it's
time to let go, it's time to letgo.
And the fastest you let it go,the better it is for your mental

(11:34):
health.
Because you're just releasing itback to the universe, you're
releasing it back to God.
If you believe in God, in mycase, I do believe in God.
You're just releasing it outthere, and you're saying, that's
not my responsibility, it's notmy place anymore to see what's
gonna happen with this.
My responsibility is myself, andI need to take care of me.

(11:55):
Lesson number four The peopleyou keep around you will keep
you where you want to be.
Let me say that again for thepeople in the back.
The people that you keep aroundyou are keeping you where you
want to be.

(12:16):
Now let's dissect this a littlebit, right?
You've heard it said before.
Tell me who you hang out with,and I'll tell you who you are.
So important.
For so many years I argued that,and I was like, that's not true,
because I can still be myselfand I can have all types of
friends.
No, no, I say not anymore.
I want the people that want thebest for me.

(12:36):
I want the people that love me,I want the people that keep me
accountable, I want the peoplethat root for me, I want the
people that literally show up atmy door and they're like,
Francis, you are wrong.
And I'm gonna tell you howyou're wrong, and I'm gonna help
you see a different way ofapproaching this problem.

(12:57):
That's the type of people that Iwant in my corner because that's
the type of person that I wantto become, and the type of
person that I want to show tothe world.
So if there are people in yourlife that you consider friends,
and you're like, oh, I'm friendswith them because we've been
friends since middle school andwe've been friends since
whatever, okay.
Who cares?

(13:17):
History does not determinedestiny.
I'm gonna say it again.
I have had a former best friendthat was in my life for many,
many, many, many years.
Okay, and there's a lot ofhistory there.

(13:39):
There's a lot of love over theyears, and don't get me wrong, I
still love her, but from adistance, and also I know that
we're not destined to be in eachother's lives anymore, and I'm
okay with that.
I think it's great.
I think she's gonna find peoplethat fit her lifestyle, fit her
goals, and fit the way that shethinks way better than I could

(14:05):
have fit into her world.
So that makes me happy and thatmakes me excited for her and the
people that I currently have inmy life.
Again, I have been curating andmaking changes and making sure
that the people that are aroundme are the people that I want to
be around me.
And when I tell you my life haschanged 180 degrees, and it is

(14:25):
amazing.
Like, I wish you couldexperience the same thing that I
have experienced within a timeframe of like a month.
Okay, so all you gotta do istake inventory of who's around
you and who is helping you staywhere you want to be.

(14:47):
Start doing that, takeinventory, fire, fire the people
that are not there for you.
It's okay, they'll find betteropportunities elsewhere where
their gifts and talents andskills are gonna come in handy.
But if it doesn't work for you,it's definitely not working for
them either.
And you guys are just trying tomake something happen that

(15:08):
shouldn't be happening.
So curate your circle of friendsand see how your life starts to
change.
The last and most importantlesson that I've learned this
year is that I deserve the sameenergy I put out into the world.
Listen.

(15:28):
And this is not to brag, if youknow me in real life, you will
know that this is true.
I am one of the most caring,loving, and welcoming people
that I know, right?
And yet, for some reason, formany, many years, I've thought
that I don't deserve the sameenergy and love and just overall

(15:54):
feeling that I put out into theworld.
And this year, I finally learnedthat what you put out into the
world is exactly what you'retrying to get out of it.
And if you're not getting that,it's because you're putting
those efforts in places, inpeople, and in situations that
don't need those efforts, thatdon't need that energy, because

(16:14):
you're placing it in the wrongway.
So if there's one thing that Ican do for you today is tell you
that you deserve what you'reputting out there.
So analyze what you're puttingout there and check if you're
getting an ROI on it, a returnof investment on it.

(16:35):
Like, are you a loving personand are you with a loving
partner?
If not, why?
What's happening?
Can you guys talk it out?
Can you express what your needsare and hopefully work together?
Or can you look at therelationship and say, you know

(16:57):
what, this is not gonna workout.
And I love you, but I deservebetter.
And again, there's some emphasison my episodes on romantic
relationships because I am 30single and dating.
So a lot of what I'm currentlygoing through is I know what my

(17:18):
partner looks like to me.
And I want to make sure that mypartner is someone that loves me
and takes care of me the sameway that I do.
So if that takes a while, I'mgonna wait that while I don't
want to waste it on people thatdon't deserve it.
And that took me years to learn.
So I hope that you take thisadvice and you treat yourself

(17:41):
with way more love than I havebefore, and you say to yourself,
I deserve better, so I'm gonnago get better.
So I leave you with this messagethat you are important, you are
special, and there's a purposefor you to be here.
And maybe sometimes it feelsoverwhelming, and sometimes it

(18:02):
feels like it's too much, andyou feel lost.
Trust me, I've been there, donethat.
But I can guarantee you that ifyou take the time to be with
yourself, to get to knowyourself and to get to love
yourself, you will find so muchjoy, love, and blessings around

(18:26):
you that life is going to befulfilling in a whole new world
that maybe you never evenconsider for yourself.
And all I can do is wish thatyou get that because I think you
deserve it.
Well, until the next up, yourpassengers, safe travels.
Bye.

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