January 21, 2025 • 18 mins
Ever stumbled upon a realization that completely reshapes how you see the next chapter of your life?
As I step into my 30s, I challenge the idea that this decade should be met with trepidation or nostalgia for our 20s. Instead, I share my ongoing journey to boost self-esteem amidst the juxtaposition of outward positivity and inner battles with self-worth. Here, I open up about the harsh self-critique I’ve been guilty of and the transformative power of treating ourselves with the same kindness we offer others. It’s time to reframe how we see ourselves, not as flawed, but as works in progress with the potential to grow and thrive. Together, let’s uncover how these choices pave the way for genuine self-confidence and personal growth that echo far beyond just ourselves.
Resources Used Today:
7 Proven Tips for Building Lasting Self-Esteem and Boosting Your Confidence
Contact The Self-Growth Train Podcast
* Website www.TheSelfGrowthTrainPodcast.com
* Instagram @theselfgrowthtrainpodcast
* Facebook @thesgtpodcast
* Tik Tok @theselfgrowthtrainpod
Until the next stop dear passengers – Safe Travels!
-FMRP
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Frances Marie Rivera Pach (00:07):
Hello , my dear passengers, and
welcome aboard the Self-GrowthTrain, a podcast that combines
personal stories, opinions andresearch in order to better
guide you through yourself-growth journey.
My name is Frances Marie RiveraPacheco and I am your tour
guide.
First, I just want to say thankyou for tuning back into the
podcast for another episode.
(00:29):
As you guys know, I turned 30last week and it has been an
amazing first week of being inmy 30s.
Let me tell you, I feel veryempowered, I feel very confident
and I feel like I'm steppinginto a new version of myself
that is quite different from myteens and very different from my
(00:50):
20s.
And I don't know, maybe I'm theonly person that feels this
because, like every time I talkabout being 30 and being excited
, people are like oh my gosh, no, you have to grieve your 20s.
And I'm just over here likegrieve?
My 20s were great, but you knowwhat?
My 30s are gonna be amazing andI'm here for all the blessings
(01:12):
and all the opportunities thatare coming my way.
Well, my dear passengers, it'stime to buckle up those
seatbelts, because we're headinginto the first step of the day.
That is the topic of day, andtoday's topic is self-esteem.
Self-esteem is defined by theOxford Dictionary as the
confidence in one's own worthand abilities.
(01:34):
Wow, am I not ready for thisepisode?
And I say that because a lot ofpeople think that I have high
self-esteem.
Why do they think that?
Well, because my personalitytends to be very positive, very
welcoming, very smiling, as youcan tell.
(01:56):
But that doesn't necessarilymean that my self-esteem is high
or that I necessarily think ofmyself as enough.
In fact, I don't think ofmyself as being enough.
And this is like in terms ofacademic wise, labor wise or not
labor, but like job, wise,that's also as a partner wise,
(02:20):
even as a friend.
Sometimes I think that Istruggle a lot with seeing my
worth because I quantify a lotof things, not so much for other
people, but like for myself,like for people.
I qualify what they bring intothe table, like I'm, like you
know what.
This person makes me feel good,this person makes me feel safe,
(02:40):
this person makes me feelvalued.
I'm not counting how many timesthey've been there for me, but
the moment that I'm not therefor someone or I start failing
someone and I'm not asconsistent as I would like to be
.
That's where I start tellingmyself that I have no worth,
which is not good.
It's not healthy and definitelynot something that we're going
(03:00):
to be doing in this podcast, butI did want to clarify that this
is something that I'm activelyworking on.
I am not an expert onself-esteem, nor do I have a
high self-esteem.
I have moments with highself-esteem, but I do not have
an overall high self-esteemdemeanor or, like I guess,
(03:23):
mindset, which is why I thoughtthis episode was very important
to cover, because I need help,and you guys probably need help
too.
So let's get started with it.
For today's episode, I will beusing two resources.
That is, an article that Ifound online and, obviously, my
own personal stories.
The first resource that I'mgoing to use is an article by
(03:43):
the Yale Ledger.
Now, keep in mind when I sayYale, I'm not talking about the
place that you go to wheneveryou commit crimes.
I'm aware that my accent makesit seem like that's what I'm
saying.
I am actually talking about thestudent magazine of the very
famous university, Yale, andthis article is titled seven
proven tips for building lastingself-esteem and boosting your
(04:05):
confidence.
First things first, how do youtreat yourself and I'm not
talking about on an day-to-daybasis, although that is
important how do you treatyourself when you do something
wrong, when there is a mistake?
Because, let me tell you, Ilove to berate myself.
I love to say, Frances MarieRivera Pacheco, why would you do
that?
Who told you to do that?
(04:25):
Why would you do that?
You know better than that.
You shouldn't have done that.
But if somebody came to me withthe same story and the same
mistake, this would be myapproach oh, so-and-so.
I know that what you did waswrong or what you did was a
mistake.
It happens.
You're human, we're all human.
(04:46):
We all made mistakes.
You see how much of a hypocriteI am, but I'm willing to bet
that we're all a little bit ofhypocrites when it comes to the
standards that we set forourselves instead of the
standards that we set for otherpeople.
And it's because there's a bigpart of us that it's like I
should have known better, or Iam better, or I just know what
(05:07):
I'm capable of and I did notdeliver that day.
Yeah, okay, whatever.
Honestly, at that point, whatyou need to do is take a deep
breath and practice someself-compassion, and I know it's
not that simple, but guess what?
The reality is that thatcompassion, kindness and
empathetic feelings that we canfeel towards other people, we're
also able to feel towardsourselves.
(05:29):
We just need to practice,because a lot of times we don't
learn to do that for ourselves.
But by practicingself-compassion we're able to
see ourselves as what we are,which is human, which means that
we are going to make mistakes.
We're not going to be perfect,and that's totally okay.
In fact, it's expected and it'snormal and in a way, it's
(05:50):
inevitable.
So the first step will beself-compassion, but the second
step is a fun one.
The second step is setting andachieving small goals.
Now, I'm not talking aboutthese goals that you have for
months or years from now.
Those are good, but we want tostart getting a sense of
achievement.
Why?
Because it helps to boost ourself-esteem, because it means
(06:12):
that we're working towardssomething that means a lot to us
and we are seeing the rewardsof working towards it.
So let's say, for example, youwanted to lose weight and your
goal is to lose a hundred poundsin a year.
That's doable.
It takes a lot of work, butit's doable.
So one achievable and smallgoal would be well, instead of
(06:33):
drinking sodas, I now only drinkwater.
And then you can start workingtowards that goal.
And then, once you achieve thatgoal, you can add another goal,
such as, but not limited to,adding vegetables to every meal
or walking 2,000 steps a day,and little by little, you will
be achieving these goals thatare going to boost your
(06:54):
self-esteem and are going tohelp you achieve your ultimate
bigger goal, and it's just likea domino effect and it's great.
So definitely try it.
Once we have done that, it'stime to really embrace
self-improvement.
Now, my dear passengers, if youlisten to this podcast, I
already know that you embraceself-improvement.
(07:16):
But hey, maybe you have sentthis to a friend or a family
member that has never listenedto the podcast.
So I'm going to assume that youguys have not embraced
self-improvement yet.
When it comes toself-improvement,
self-improvement is not justphysical or health stuff.
Self-improvement also has to dowith what you're learning and
(07:37):
what you're feeding yourself,and by feeding I'm not talking
just about food, I'm talkingabout what you're consuming.
That is what you're consumingthrough music, tv, books, you
name it.
Okay, so, with embracingself-improvement, it is very
important for us to like taketime for ourselves and just say,
hey, I want to learn a newlanguage.
(07:58):
Okay, well, let's get startedwith Duolingo.
Or let's get started withtaking classes at night or
taking classes during the day.
I don't know your life.
You get to choose what time youwant to take classes.
I just prefer at night.
It can also mean taking classeson dancing.
It can also mean writing a book.
It can also mean I'm runningout of ideas swimming.
(08:22):
It can also mean learning howto sew.
There's so many possibilitiesout there of things that you can
learn or improve on that.
It's kind of hard to like justpinpoint options, isn't that
weird?
When there's so many optionsand so many things, it becomes
harder to name them.
Oh, what can I say?
(08:42):
What can we do?
It's just life.
But yeah, it's just life.
Embrace your self-improvement,invest in your self-improvement
and slowly but surely, you'regoing to notice that you're
going to start seeing yourpotential and start seeing how
your self esteem keepsincreasing, because now you're
saying huh, I told myself I wasgoing to learn a new language
(09:03):
and guess what?
Maybe I don't speak it fullyyet, but I now know seven
phrases that I can say veryconfidently and without
hesitation.
So yeah, look at me improving.
Next, we get to use positiveaffirmations, and I don't know
about you, my dear passenger,but I absolutely love positive
affirmations.
(09:23):
In fact, about two years ago, Iused to do a positive
affirmation every single day andI would post it on my Instagram
and people loved them and Ijust, I don't know, like
somewhere along the way, Istopped doing them and I don't
know why.
So I'm actually going to startdoing that because I noticed
that, at least for me tellingmyself, I am enough, I am
(09:45):
special, I am deserving, I amloving, I am worth it, I am
enough, I am deserving, I amblessed, I am thankful, I am.
There's just so many thingsthat I can keep saying and, like
you noticed, probably when Istarted saying those words, how
my whole demeanor changed, andit's because maybe at first I
(10:08):
didn't believe the words that Iwas saying, but over time I
started believing those wordsand, yeah, you know what?
I'm going to start doingpositive affirmations on
Facebook again not on Facebookon Instagram again, because
people need them.
So I'm going to give it to themand I'm going to give it to
myself.
So I gotta make a quick pause,because at the beginning of this
(10:33):
episode, I said that I feltlike a hypocrite.
I mean, I still kind of do um,and I felt that I wasn't ready
for this episode, because Idon't necessarily have the
highest self-esteem, and that'sstill true.
However, as I am reviewing thesearticles, and I am talking
about them, and I'm talkingabout the tools that they are
describing, it's interestingbecause, my dear passengers, if
you are questioning, doubting orkind of like confused as to how
(10:56):
these actually work, let metell you I have used every one
of the ones that I have alreadymentioned and they have worked
in the past.
Now here's ??
kicker.
Okay, this is the part whereI'm like Frances Marie, what are
you doing?
As I'm reading about all thesetechniques and I'm like, yeah,
yeah, this one works, this oneworks, this one works, this one
(11:17):
works.
What I'm asking myself is okay,if you know that all of these
work, why did you stop?
Why did you not continue?
And again, this was a growthmoment for me, because I was
starting to go back into thatmentality of let's quantify,
because look at all of thesetimes that you were able to do
(11:37):
it, but now you're not doing it.
So, therefore, you're failing?
No, so I decided to stop theepisode and, well, restart it
and talk to you guys about this,because I thought this was a
very special moment of growththat I needed to share with you.
The way that we grow is we haveto make mistakes, we have to
(11:57):
fail.
So if you're currently failing,I know it feels frustrating, I
know it feels like there's nopurpose to it, but really there
is, because, at the end of theday, you're going to learn from
it.
Now you might just learn not toever do it again, and that's
okay, but guess what You'relearning?
(12:19):
And that actually brings us tothe next step, which is
developing a growth mindset.
Everything that happens in yourlife everything okay,
everything that happens in yourlife, everything okay allows you
to learn from it, to grow fromit and to persevere through it.
So if you start developing agrowth mindset which, by the way
(12:42):
, the tools that I mentionedbefore will definitely help you
do that what's going to happenis you're going to have moments
like the moment that I just had,which was hold up, wait a
minute.
I said this before and I doadmit that I haven't necessarily
been doing all of this stuff.
However, I do recognize thatthey have helped in the past.
So therefore, moving forward,I'm going to start doing them
(13:04):
again.
That's growth and that canhappen as instantaneously as it
did for me, or depending if youhaven't developed your growth
mindset.
It may take a couple of hours,weeks, months, years, I don't
know.
But the more you develop thatgrowth mindset, the quicker
(13:27):
you're going to get to it.
So definitely start seeing thepotential in yourself to
continue growing and continuelearning, because it's
definitely inside of you.
You just need to let it grow.
Let it grow.
The next step is to surroundyourself with positive influence
.
What does that mean?
It means you have to payattention and be very selective
around who you let into yourspace.
(13:50):
You know, as you know, Irecently got my first apartment
and I'm very happy and excitedabout it.
I know I talk about it all thetime, but like, listen, I'm very
excited and for me, I havealways been very like ah,
whoever wants to come, let themcome To my parties, let them
come To my events, let them come, come.
I just want all the people tobe there.
(14:13):
But one of the things that Ilearned especially recently is I
have to be selective in who Ilet into my space.
Who do I let come into my lifeand affect me.
Because that's the thing.
If you're like me and I'm verystubborn you might have seen
(14:34):
what I just said, heard what Ijust said about surrounding
yourself with positive people orthe positive influence, and you
might have said again, like mein the past, stubborn me, oh,
Frances, I am a very secureperson in my abilities and who I
am, and I can be around anytype of person and they're not
going to get me to feel anyother way except the way that I
(14:57):
want to feel.
Well, let me tell you somethingthey will, and it's going to be
when you least expect it.
So do yourself a favor and bevery careful with who you
surround yourself with, who yougive the time, your resources
and the space to, because thereality is, whether you want to
admit it or not, whoever youhang out with is influencing who
(15:19):
you are and who you arebecoming.
So definitely, be very mindfuland very careful.
And, last but not least, youknow you got to practice
self-care.
You have to practice self-careand that kind of goes hand-in in
hand with surrounding yourselfwith positive influence.
But practice self-care doesn'tnecessarily mean getting
(15:41):
pedicures and manicures whichthey're fun, as you can tell.
It doesn't mean wearing a crown, even though that's also fun.
No, self-care goes above thephysical.
It also goes with the mental,it also goes with the emotional.
It's learning who you are andthe things that you need in
order to take care of yourself.
(16:02):
I have one of my co-workers hername is Maryam and I love her so
much and she's always saying,like your body knows what it
need, your body knows what itneeds.
If you listen to your body,your body will tell you I need
sleep, I need to take a shower,I need to exercise, I need food.
Start listening to yourself,start listening to what your
(16:24):
mind tells you too.
We got to be careful with themind, because, that is true, we
got to be very careful with themind, but try to identify what
it is that you need.
How is it that you need to takecare of yourself?
Because when we don't take careof ourselves, that's where we
fall into temptation, that'swhere we fall into drugs and
(16:44):
alcohol, that's where we fallinto peer pressure.
So by taking really good careof ourselves, we're also
boosting that self-esteem andwe're saying to ourselves hey, I
know exactly what I need and Iknow that I can give it to
myself and I don't need anybodyelse to give it to me.
However, if somebody wants togive it to me, oh my gosh,
they're so nice, they're so cute, thanks.
Well, my dear passengers, thetime has come for the last step
(17:06):
of the day, that is, recap time.
Today's episode discussedself-esteem, which is our
confidence in our own worth andabilities, also known as
self-respect.
We now know that developingself-esteem can be hard.
However, there are a couple oftools that can help us along the
way, such as, but not limitedto, practicing self-compassion,
(17:28):
setting and achieving smallgoals, embracing
self-improvement, practicingpositive affirmations,
developing a growth mindset,surrounding ourselves with
positive influences andpracticing self-care.
Remember, self-growth is anendless journey towards
self-improvement.
However, you don't ever have todo it alone.
As your tour guide, my goal isto guide you with the best
intentions and the best researchavailable.
(17:49):
Make sure to follow me at myInstagram, Facebook and TikTok
at the Self-Growth Train Podcast, and to also check out my new
website,theselfgrowthtrainpodcast.
com.
As always, all the resourcesused today have been added to
the episode's descriptions.
Well, until the next time, dearpassengers, safe travels.
Bye!
Hello , my dear passengers, and
welcome aboard the Self-GrowthTrain, a podcast that combines
personal stories, opinions andresearch in order to better
guide you through yourself-growth journey.
My name is Frances Marie RiveraPacheco and I am your tour
guide.
First, I just want to say thankyou for tuning back into the
podcast for another episode.
(00:29):
As you guys know, I turned 30last week and it has been an
amazing first week of being inmy 30s.
Let me tell you, I feel veryempowered, I feel very confident
and I feel like I'm steppinginto a new version of myself
that is quite different from myteens and very different from my
(00:50):
20s.
And I don't know, maybe I'm theonly person that feels this
because, like every time I talkabout being 30 and being excited
, people are like oh my gosh, no, you have to grieve your 20s.
And I'm just over here likegrieve?
My 20s were great, but you knowwhat?
My 30s are gonna be amazing andI'm here for all the blessings
(01:12):
and all the opportunities thatare coming my way.
Well, my dear passengers, it'stime to buckle up those
seatbelts, because we're headinginto the first step of the day.
That is the topic of day, andtoday's topic is self-esteem.
Self-esteem is defined by theOxford Dictionary as the
confidence in one's own worthand abilities.
(01:34):
Wow, am I not ready for thisepisode?
And I say that because a lot ofpeople think that I have high
self-esteem.
Why do they think that?
Well, because my personalitytends to be very positive, very
welcoming, very smiling, as youcan tell.
(01:56):
But that doesn't necessarilymean that my self-esteem is high
or that I necessarily think ofmyself as enough.
In fact, I don't think ofmyself as being enough.
And this is like in terms ofacademic wise, labor wise or not
labor, but like job, wise,that's also as a partner wise,
(02:20):
even as a friend.
Sometimes I think that Istruggle a lot with seeing my
worth because I quantify a lotof things, not so much for other
people, but like for myself,like for people.
I qualify what they bring intothe table, like I'm, like you
know what.
This person makes me feel good,this person makes me feel safe,
(02:40):
this person makes me feelvalued.
I'm not counting how many timesthey've been there for me, but
the moment that I'm not therefor someone or I start failing
someone and I'm not asconsistent as I would like to be
.
That's where I start tellingmyself that I have no worth,
which is not good.
It's not healthy and definitelynot something that we're going
(03:00):
to be doing in this podcast, butI did want to clarify that this
is something that I'm activelyworking on.
I am not an expert onself-esteem, nor do I have a
high self-esteem.
I have moments with highself-esteem, but I do not have
an overall high self-esteemdemeanor or, like I guess,
(03:23):
mindset, which is why I thoughtthis episode was very important
to cover, because I need help,and you guys probably need help
too.
So let's get started with it.
For today's episode, I will beusing two resources.
That is, an article that Ifound online and, obviously, my
own personal stories.
The first resource that I'mgoing to use is an article by
(03:43):
the Yale Ledger.
Now, keep in mind when I sayYale, I'm not talking about the
place that you go to wheneveryou commit crimes.
I'm aware that my accent makesit seem like that's what I'm
saying.
I am actually talking about thestudent magazine of the very
famous university, Yale, andthis article is titled seven
proven tips for building lastingself-esteem and boosting your
(04:05):
confidence.
First things first, how do youtreat yourself and I'm not
talking about on an day-to-daybasis, although that is
important how do you treatyourself when you do something
wrong, when there is a mistake?
Because, let me tell you, Ilove to berate myself.
I love to say, Frances MarieRivera Pacheco, why would you do
that?
Who told you to do that?
(04:25):
Why would you do that?
You know better than that.
You shouldn't have done that.
But if somebody came to me withthe same story and the same
mistake, this would be myapproach oh, so-and-so.
I know that what you did waswrong or what you did was a
mistake.
It happens.
You're human, we're all human.
(04:46):
We all made mistakes.
You see how much of a hypocriteI am, but I'm willing to bet
that we're all a little bit ofhypocrites when it comes to the
standards that we set forourselves instead of the
standards that we set for otherpeople.
And it's because there's a bigpart of us that it's like I
should have known better, or Iam better, or I just know what
(05:07):
I'm capable of and I did notdeliver that day.
Yeah, okay, whatever.
Honestly, at that point, whatyou need to do is take a deep
breath and practice someself-compassion, and I know it's
not that simple, but guess what?
The reality is that thatcompassion, kindness and
empathetic feelings that we canfeel towards other people, we're
also able to feel towardsourselves.
(05:29):
We just need to practice,because a lot of times we don't
learn to do that for ourselves.
But by practicingself-compassion we're able to
see ourselves as what we are,which is human, which means that
we are going to make mistakes.
We're not going to be perfect,and that's totally okay.
In fact, it's expected and it'snormal and in a way, it's
(05:50):
inevitable.
So the first step will beself-compassion, but the second
step is a fun one.
The second step is setting andachieving small goals.
Now, I'm not talking aboutthese goals that you have for
months or years from now.
Those are good, but we want tostart getting a sense of
achievement.
Why?
Because it helps to boost ourself-esteem, because it means
(06:12):
that we're working towardssomething that means a lot to us
and we are seeing the rewardsof working towards it.
So let's say, for example, youwanted to lose weight and your
goal is to lose a hundred poundsin a year.
That's doable.
It takes a lot of work, butit's doable.
So one achievable and smallgoal would be well, instead of
(06:33):
drinking sodas, I now only drinkwater.
And then you can start workingtowards that goal.
And then, once you achieve thatgoal, you can add another goal,
such as, but not limited to,adding vegetables to every meal
or walking 2,000 steps a day,and little by little, you will
be achieving these goals thatare going to boost your
(06:54):
self-esteem and are going tohelp you achieve your ultimate
bigger goal, and it's just likea domino effect and it's great.
So definitely try it.
Once we have done that, it'stime to really embrace
self-improvement.
Now, my dear passengers, if youlisten to this podcast, I
already know that you embraceself-improvement.
(07:16):
But hey, maybe you have sentthis to a friend or a family
member that has never listenedto the podcast.
So I'm going to assume that youguys have not embraced
self-improvement yet.
When it comes toself-improvement,
self-improvement is not justphysical or health stuff.
Self-improvement also has to dowith what you're learning and
(07:37):
what you're feeding yourself,and by feeding I'm not talking
just about food, I'm talkingabout what you're consuming.
That is what you're consumingthrough music, tv, books, you
name it.
Okay, so, with embracingself-improvement, it is very
important for us to like taketime for ourselves and just say,
hey, I want to learn a newlanguage.
(07:58):
Okay, well, let's get startedwith Duolingo.
Or let's get started withtaking classes at night or
taking classes during the day.
I don't know your life.
You get to choose what time youwant to take classes.
I just prefer at night.
It can also mean taking classeson dancing.
It can also mean writing a book.
It can also mean I'm runningout of ideas swimming.
(08:22):
It can also mean learning howto sew.
There's so many possibilitiesout there of things that you can
learn or improve on that.
It's kind of hard to like justpinpoint options, isn't that
weird?
When there's so many optionsand so many things, it becomes
harder to name them.
Oh, what can I say?
(08:42):
What can we do?
It's just life.
But yeah, it's just life.
Embrace your self-improvement,invest in your self-improvement
and slowly but surely, you'regoing to notice that you're
going to start seeing yourpotential and start seeing how
your self esteem keepsincreasing, because now you're
saying huh, I told myself I wasgoing to learn a new language
(09:03):
and guess what?
Maybe I don't speak it fullyyet, but I now know seven
phrases that I can say veryconfidently and without
hesitation.
So yeah, look at me improving.
Next, we get to use positiveaffirmations, and I don't know
about you, my dear passenger,but I absolutely love positive
affirmations.
(09:23):
In fact, about two years ago, Iused to do a positive
affirmation every single day andI would post it on my Instagram
and people loved them and Ijust, I don't know, like
somewhere along the way, Istopped doing them and I don't
know why.
So I'm actually going to startdoing that because I noticed
that, at least for me tellingmyself, I am enough, I am
(09:45):
special, I am deserving, I amloving, I am worth it, I am
enough, I am deserving, I amblessed, I am thankful, I am.
There's just so many thingsthat I can keep saying and, like
you noticed, probably when Istarted saying those words, how
my whole demeanor changed, andit's because maybe at first I
(10:08):
didn't believe the words that Iwas saying, but over time I
started believing those wordsand, yeah, you know what?
I'm going to start doingpositive affirmations on
Facebook again not on Facebookon Instagram again, because
people need them.
So I'm going to give it to themand I'm going to give it to
myself.
So I gotta make a quick pause,because at the beginning of this
(10:33):
episode, I said that I feltlike a hypocrite.
I mean, I still kind of do um,and I felt that I wasn't ready
for this episode, because Idon't necessarily have the
highest self-esteem, and that'sstill true.
However, as I am reviewing thesearticles, and I am talking
about them, and I'm talkingabout the tools that they are
describing, it's interestingbecause, my dear passengers, if
you are questioning, doubting orkind of like confused as to how
(10:56):
these actually work, let metell you I have used every one
of the ones that I have alreadymentioned and they have worked
in the past.
Now here's ??
kicker.
Okay, this is the part whereI'm like Frances Marie, what are
you doing?
As I'm reading about all thesetechniques and I'm like, yeah,
yeah, this one works, this oneworks, this one works, this one
(11:17):
works.
What I'm asking myself is okay,if you know that all of these
work, why did you stop?
Why did you not continue?
And again, this was a growthmoment for me, because I was
starting to go back into thatmentality of let's quantify,
because look at all of thesetimes that you were able to do
(11:37):
it, but now you're not doing it.
So, therefore, you're failing?
No, so I decided to stop theepisode and, well, restart it
and talk to you guys about this,because I thought this was a
very special moment of growththat I needed to share with you.
The way that we grow is we haveto make mistakes, we have to
(11:57):
fail.
So if you're currently failing,I know it feels frustrating, I
know it feels like there's nopurpose to it, but really there
is, because, at the end of theday, you're going to learn from
it.
Now you might just learn not toever do it again, and that's
okay, but guess what You'relearning?
(12:19):
And that actually brings us tothe next step, which is
developing a growth mindset.
Everything that happens in yourlife everything okay,
everything that happens in yourlife, everything okay allows you
to learn from it, to grow fromit and to persevere through it.
So if you start developing agrowth mindset which, by the way
(12:42):
, the tools that I mentionedbefore will definitely help you
do that what's going to happenis you're going to have moments
like the moment that I just had,which was hold up, wait a
minute.
I said this before and I doadmit that I haven't necessarily
been doing all of this stuff.
However, I do recognize thatthey have helped in the past.
So therefore, moving forward,I'm going to start doing them
(13:04):
again.
That's growth and that canhappen as instantaneously as it
did for me, or depending if youhaven't developed your growth
mindset.
It may take a couple of hours,weeks, months, years, I don't
know.
But the more you develop thatgrowth mindset, the quicker
(13:27):
you're going to get to it.
So definitely start seeing thepotential in yourself to
continue growing and continuelearning, because it's
definitely inside of you.
You just need to let it grow.
Let it grow.
The next step is to surroundyourself with positive influence
.
What does that mean?
It means you have to payattention and be very selective
around who you let into yourspace.
(13:50):
You know, as you know, Irecently got my first apartment
and I'm very happy and excitedabout it.
I know I talk about it all thetime, but like, listen, I'm very
excited and for me, I havealways been very like ah,
whoever wants to come, let themcome To my parties, let them
come To my events, let them come, come.
I just want all the people tobe there.
(14:13):
But one of the things that Ilearned especially recently is I
have to be selective in who Ilet into my space.
Who do I let come into my lifeand affect me.
Because that's the thing.
If you're like me and I'm verystubborn you might have seen
(14:34):
what I just said, heard what Ijust said about surrounding
yourself with positive people orthe positive influence, and you
might have said again, like mein the past, stubborn me, oh,
Frances, I am a very secureperson in my abilities and who I
am, and I can be around anytype of person and they're not
going to get me to feel anyother way except the way that I
(14:57):
want to feel.
Well, let me tell you somethingthey will, and it's going to be
when you least expect it.
So do yourself a favor and bevery careful with who you
surround yourself with, who yougive the time, your resources
and the space to, because thereality is, whether you want to
admit it or not, whoever youhang out with is influencing who
(15:19):
you are and who you arebecoming.
So definitely, be very mindfuland very careful.
And, last but not least, youknow you got to practice
self-care.
You have to practice self-careand that kind of goes hand-in in
hand with surrounding yourselfwith positive influence.
But practice self-care doesn'tnecessarily mean getting
(15:41):
pedicures and manicures whichthey're fun, as you can tell.
It doesn't mean wearing a crown, even though that's also fun.
No, self-care goes above thephysical.
It also goes with the mental,it also goes with the emotional.
It's learning who you are andthe things that you need in
order to take care of yourself.
(16:02):
I have one of my co-workers hername is Maryam and I love her so
much and she's always saying,like your body knows what it
need, your body knows what itneeds.
If you listen to your body,your body will tell you I need
sleep, I need to take a shower,I need to exercise, I need food.
Start listening to yourself,start listening to what your
(16:24):
mind tells you too.
We got to be careful with themind, because, that is true, we
got to be very careful with themind, but try to identify what
it is that you need.
How is it that you need to takecare of yourself?
Because when we don't take careof ourselves, that's where we
fall into temptation, that'swhere we fall into drugs and
(16:44):
alcohol, that's where we fallinto peer pressure.
So by taking really good careof ourselves, we're also
boosting that self-esteem andwe're saying to ourselves hey, I
know exactly what I need and Iknow that I can give it to
myself and I don't need anybodyelse to give it to me.
However, if somebody wants togive it to me, oh my gosh,
they're so nice, they're so cute, thanks.
Well, my dear passengers, thetime has come for the last step
(17:06):
of the day, that is, recap time.
Today's episode discussedself-esteem, which is our
confidence in our own worth andabilities, also known as
self-respect.
We now know that developingself-esteem can be hard.
However, there are a couple oftools that can help us along the
way, such as, but not limitedto, practicing self-compassion,
(17:28):
setting and achieving smallgoals, embracing
self-improvement, practicingpositive affirmations,
developing a growth mindset,surrounding ourselves with
positive influences andpracticing self-care.
Remember, self-growth is anendless journey towards
self-improvement.
However, you don't ever have todo it alone.
As your tour guide, my goal isto guide you with the best
intentions and the best researchavailable.
(17:49):
Make sure to follow me at myInstagram, Facebook and TikTok
at the Self-Growth Train Podcast, and to also check out my new
website,theselfgrowthtrainpodcast.
com.
As always, all the resourcesused today have been added to
the episode's descriptions.
Well, until the next time, dearpassengers, safe travels.
Bye!
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