Layla Martin: Energy Phenomenon - What Really Happens When Life Force Moves Through You | #147 - The Sex Reimagined Podcast

Episode Transcript
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Willow (00:05):
Welcome everyone to the Sex Reimagined podcast.
I'm Dr.
Willow Brown.
I'm here with my amazingco-host, Leah Piper, What if
your deepest desires were thepath, not the problem.
Today's guest, Layla Martin saysthat your pleasure is holy.
Your sexuality is sacred, andyour turn on could be the most

(00:25):
potent spiritual practice you'vebeen avoiding.
She is a global leader inTantra, founder of the Tantra
Institute and integratedsexuality, She has trained in
everything from neuroscience toshamanic arts and sex magic.

Leah (00:42):
You know, you guys, if you haven't heard of Layla Martin,
by now, are you living under arock?
I mean, her videos are all overthe place.
Facebook, YouTube, you name it.
So this is the interview you'vebeen waiting for.
So tune in, baby turn on, andfall in love with Layla Martin.

Announcer (01:00):
Welcome to the Sex Reimagined Podcast, where sex is
shame-free and pleasure forward.
Let's get into the show.

Willow (01:09):
We are so thrilled to have you today with us, Layla.
So welcome.

Layla (01:13):
Oh, amazing.
I'm sorry to be here.

Willow (01:15):
Thanks for being with us today.
For our audience who may nothave met you yet, what got you
into doing this work?
I know that you had sort of, youknow, more challenging childhood
and, and so much of your healingand sexual exploration has
really brought you to whereyou're at today.
It's really remarkable.
So give us a little 1 0 1 on

Leah (01:37):
What's the genesis story Layla?

Layla (01:40):
A combination of religious trauma, sexual trauma,
personal interest, and feministoutrage.
Um, so

Leah (01:49):
Sounds about right.

Layla (01:49):
I, yes.
Um, yeah, I, uh, had achallenging childhood.
My mom, uh, and my biologicalfather, uh, my mom was very
young when she had me, and shewas taking care of me.
And he came home and he said,I've been cheating on you, and I

(02:10):
don't wanna be with you anymore.
And she just uncovered all ofthese lies and all of this
darkness from him.
And during this time when theyhad joint custody, he was
sexually abusive and just avery, very, very horrible
person.
The last time I saw him was whenI was seven, so they had joint
custody for a while.
And then, um, and, and so thatwas the origin of feeling that

(02:35):
something had been taken insideof my soul and inside of my
body.
So when I started hittingpuberty, I was so terrified of
my body that I would shower in abathing suit.
I would obsessively shave allthe hairs off my body.
I would pray to God every singlenight'cause I was raised
Catholic, that I would neverturn into a woman because it was

(02:56):
so terrifying to feel thisemergence of my sexuality.
After experiencing that kind ofsexual abuse and for whatever
reason, I don't know that theywere linked, it comes, it almost
feels like a different part ofmy being.
When I was 14, I found a trip inthe back of the New York Times

(03:16):
that went to Tibet, India, andNepal, and I begged my mom and
my stepdad to send me and blessthem.
They let me go.

Willow (03:24):
That's amazing.
You're only 14 years old.

Leah (03:26):
Did you go with other

Willow (03:27):
for.

Leah (03:28):
or are you just like this solo, I gotta go to Nepal.
I'm 14.
I'm gonna do this like withoutanyone with you.
That would be so adventurous andI would be so intimidated to do
that at 14.

Layla (03:41):
Oh well, so the first trip I went on alone was
actually to Italy when I was 15.
That trip was actually guided bytwo 20, I think they were about
20 years old.
So I was like, oh, we've gotadults looking out for us.
And now I'm like, what the hell?

Leah (03:55):
Totally.
Totally.

Willow (03:56):
funny.

Layla (03:58):
So I had an early.
Touch points to, uh, cashmereShaivism and the beautiful
sacred lands of India.
We got to go to blessedmonasteries in Tibet.
I feel so blessed and privilegedto be able to have witnessed the
wisdom and the profundity ofthose cultures and the way that

(04:18):
they stewarded spiritualpractice and tradition and
wisdom.
And for me, being raisedCatholic, it was eye-opening to
see a spiritual tradition thatwas about your connection to
God, rather than being told whoand what God was and
specifically how God wanted youto behave as a woman.

Leah (04:38):
Mm-hmm.

Layla (04:38):
And so I had this combination when I turned 17 and
I went to Stanford University ofknowing these wisdom traditions
existed, and also really comingto terms with the depth and
magnitude of my trauma.
Like the first time I saw myboyfriend's penis, who was like
a loving, beautiful, wonderfulhuman.

(04:59):
As a teenager, I went into afull freeze trauma response.
I couldn't even speak for about30 minutes.
That's how intense.
My sexual trauma was, and Ididn't really have words for it.
I didn't understand it backthen.
Our society has grown in leapsand bounds in the last 20, 30
years around what trauma is andhow to talk about it and how to
understand it.

(05:19):
Even understanding the depth andimpact and brutality of what can
happen to a child's nervoussystem when they experience that
kind of trauma.
So I had the righteous outrageof a teenager and I was like,
wait, I've been through thiskind of pain.
Everybody else has been throughthis, not everybody else, but so
many people have been throughthis kind of pain and we don't

(05:40):
have healing centers on everystreet corner.
Like it's not known how to healyourself from this level and
depth of of trauma.
And a heartbreak.
And so I went looking for how doyou heal yourself when you've
been traumatized?
And also I found the sexeducation at Stanford
University.

(06:00):
I was in the pre-med departmentseriously lacking because I
wanted to know how to fix mysoul.
I wanted to know how to fallback in love with my body.
I wanted to know how to stopscreaming sex when I, a response
and the age of a woman when shegets pregnant.
And I was like, what the.

Willow (06:20):
Oh my

Leah (06:21):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So then you had to create yourown education.
So where did you go?
How did you find those Answers?

Layla (06:28):
Yeah, so I went back, I uh, I took a break from Stanford
when I was 18 and I bought oneway ticket to Asia.
And I spent two years, uh,studying meditation and my first
Kundalini practices, my firstearly, early Tantra practices.
And it was so clear to me thatthere was something there that

(06:49):
allowed a healing and arestoration of the body, heart,
and soul that I was not findinganywhere in my Western
education.
I.
And so I went back and forth fora while and I, in, in my science
education, learned a lot aboutthe nervous system and
psychology and had a deeprespect for science.
But I found that my soul'shealing was there in Asia, and I

(07:11):
learned both neo and classicalTantric practices.
So both the classical thousandsof years old tradition of Tantra
and the newer practices of howto awaken and heal your aeros
through things like a pussymassage or a penis massage, or
chakra breathing and deepactivation of your erotic body
through things like breath workand the combination of the two

(07:35):
restored a sense of dignity andpower and in loveness to my
body.
And one of the biggest hallmarksof the Tantric philosophy that
really changed everything wasyour body is just as sacred as
prayer.
Your body is just as much aportal to God as any temple you
could ever pray in.

(07:55):
And understanding my body inthat way helped heal all of the
religious shame and eventuallymost of the trauma.
And I had this deep dedicationwhere I was like, look, if I had
to go through this layer ofhell, like I don't wanna just be
a survivor, I wanna come out onthe other side saying that I am
better off and I'm having moreexquisite orgasms, that I can be

(08:16):
in an even deeper devotionalpartnership than if I had never
had to do this healing in thefirst place.
And that was the vision that Iset for myself.
And what I found was all ofthese practices that helped make
that a possibility because somuch of what I was encountering
just in the scientificliterature or just in Western
education, wasn't enough for meto find this celebratory portal

(08:41):
into my nervous system andthrough sexuality all the way to
the erotic.
And it ended up being this deeprealization that sex is where we
hold our deepest shadows on thisplanet, but it is also where we
can have some of our highestprayer and deepest intimacy and
most profound love.

Willow (08:58):
That's so beautiful and it's so beautiful too, how
Tantra really does bring so manythrough that healing portal,
like so many of us enter intothe Tantric realm because of
sexual trauma, because of, youknow, even if it's a, a
collective trauma or, you know,um, the societal trauma or if
it's a more, you know, overttrauma as well

Leah (09:20):
all the traumas,

Willow (09:21):
all the traumas.
Yeah.

Leah (09:23):
big Ts and little Ts.
You know, a lot of people arewalking in because something in
their soul, and they may noteven know it consciously, but
somewhere in their soul, theyknow there's something more and
they know that they want it.
And they know that there issomething that is, I don't know,
off isn't operating at its fullpotential.

(09:45):
There's obstacles in the way ofgetting the love that they most
desire.
I have a very similar story asyou.
Um, but mine was such a deep,dark secret.
It was, I didn't want anyone toknow that I was really broken
inside and was undeserving oflove.
And then I go to my firstweekend seminar and they're
doing all this stuff on sexualhealing and I'm like, oh, fuck,

(10:06):
I'm gonna have to encounterthis.
And I didn't think I would everencounter it in my whole life.
I remember praying to God andgo, just lemme suppress it like
everybody else.
Why is it that everyone elsegets to forget this fucking
shit?
And I remember every freakingdetail, um, can't you take this
away?

Willow (10:27):
Aw.

Leah (10:28):
But as someone who feels so much forgiveness and
wholeness and so much purposeand so much gratitude for all of
that, because of what I get todo now, it's really weird to
keep calling it that,'cause Iactually no longer hold it that
way.
I just use it because I know ithelps others.
How do you feel in the holdingof that original story, having

(10:54):
done so much healing on it?

Layla (10:56):
um.
Similar to you.
I think when I'm talking aboutit now from a more healed place,
I also wanna pause andacknowledge anyone who's not
there yet.
Because before I felt thishealed, it was like a crater in
the most sensitive parts ofmyself.
It was like a black hole thatcould suck me in at any moment

(11:19):
into an ocean of sorrow or griefor self-hatred.
And so for anyone who's not yetat that level of healing, I just
wanna acknowledge the depth andpain that I was in that I can
imagine you were in and how realand painful that is.
And I thought I could heal itvery quickly.

(11:39):
And I was like five years in andI was like, damnit.
I was like 10 years in.

Leah (11:43):
I, yeah.

Layla (11:46):
Even I would say that, you know, it took about five
years to be able to feelpleasure and celebration and joy
my body, and 10 years to feellike I felt good on a daily
basis rather than the echoes oftrauma all throughout my nervous
system as I was going about myday.
But I would only say that it'svery recently that I was able to

(12:07):
have a full power matchrelationship with a man that I'm
deeply in love with, who'sdeeply devoted to me, and to
finally find myself exquisitelybeautiful and desirable in that
partnership.
And to answer your question, Iliterally, yesterday was like
looking back and I could feelhow much I suffered in

(12:29):
childhood, how much I sufferedas a teenager, how many times I
told myself that I was so uglyand so horrible, and just like
my skin would crawl with thisdisgust and how that destroyed
so many early partnerships.
How I couldn't even see what waspossible for me in love, and

(12:49):
from this vantage point, fromthis consciousness, now, I'm
like, wow.
Of course.
Of course this is what you woulddo.
Of course, you would form ahealthy, beautiful partnership
with like a sacred masculineking if you're a heterosexual or
a divine empowered beingregardless of gender.
And I only even got there very,very recently.
And there is something that isvery true about my relationship

(13:11):
to my trauma, which is now thatI have loved my inner child and
even my inner baby, likepre-verbal parts of myself all
the way to the core, and I canpredominantly live my soul's
truth rather than my trauma.
And I really feel the gifts, asyou're talking about, from a
life that was filled with gritand some level of emotional

(13:35):
hardship and all the gifts thatthat gave me, then no, it
doesn't really matter whathappened in the 1980s anymore.
Like if anything, it's like,it's, it's so.
Life feels so magnificent now,and my nervous system has been
so updated that the past doesn'tweigh on me.
So the past doesn't matter, butat one time it really did.

Willow (13:57):
Well, what I, what I really love what you just said.
Um, Layla and I wanna highlightis like, just yesterday you were
looking back, like after howmany decades of doing this work,
of healing yourself, of teachingthe work.
When you teach it, you learn itso much more, right?
And sharing it with thousands ofwomen around the world.
Like you've done so much, somany layers of this work at such

(14:21):
a deep level.
It is your life, it is you, youwalk it, you talk it, you
breathe it.
And, and even just yesterday,you know, you still look back
and like have a, a big aha aboutlike, wow, how far you've come
and how far you are away fromit.
So I feel like that just remindsall of us who are on the path
that like the expansion, theTantra of life is ever expanding

(14:46):
and ever evolving.
And we always get to see from anew perspective, like how far
we've come.
It's really quite remarkable.

Leah (14:54):
when you look back right on that little Layla who just
had all this disgust andself-loathing and probably
looked in the mirror and didn'tsee what everyone else saw.
Like I think about that Leah allthe time.
And I have so much grief forher.
I mean, I think about like, myGod, you spent years thinking

(15:16):
you were hideous, unlovable,disgusting, and all this vitriol
of this critical voice things Iwould say to myself that I would
never utter to another humanbeing nor would I think of
another human being this way.
And I think about that girl andthat and that, that real

(15:37):
feeling.
Um.
Standing from this place.
I just feel so sad for her thatshe had to spend so long
believing a lie.
Um, can you want a remark onanything like that for yourself?

Layla (15:52):
I think it's coming to me in this moment, which I've never
said quite in this way before.
I had, uh, deep healthchallenges in the last year for
the first time in my life.
So I revisited Joe Dispenza'swork and when people were like,
what happened?
Like, how did you suddenly getbetter after a year of sometimes
not being able to get outta bed?
And I was like, I Joe dispensedit.
Like I was just like, my bodyknows health, like my life force

(16:15):
energy knows health.
But I couldn't do that until Ihad healed a deep part of me
that was terrified of the nextlevel of my life force energy
expression until I had let goof, seriously, I'll be real with
you, an entity.
I never like really believed inentities before, but an entity
that I had taken on when I wasbeing traumatized by my father
that was protective and actuallyleaked my life force energy, but

(16:37):
also felt protective.
And this was only like a fewmonths ago when I was in a space
of a teacher I really trust alot, Tom, who does these
workshops called sapiens.
And he was like, I believe youhave an entity.
And I was like, okay, cool.
And he went in to remove it andit was totally, it was a full
exorcist situation.
Like, you know, that thing wasnot a joke.

(16:58):
And I was like, whoa, I did notmake that up.
Like that thing was so real andI could feel my inner little
girl who had held onto it sotightly because she was so alone
and so scared and that that washer way of feeling safe.
And so I couldn't Joe dispen ituntil I had done, uh, you know,
do that level like, like callmyself into health until I

(17:18):
released the pain and the oldtrauma that was still lodge like
still lodged in my nervoussystem.
And what I'm feeling right now,I don't know what the word for
it would be, but to highpriestess it.
If you want that, you can go,let's say if like the sickest
you could be.
And you know, in a wheelchair orwith an autoimmune condition or

(17:39):
with cancer and this miraculoushealing that you can do from
knowing that your system knowshealth.
It's like what I hear us talkingabout right now.
What I feel in myself, what Ifeel in Leah is this deep.
Understanding that my systemknows what self-love is.
My system actually knows whatsafety is, what beauty is.

(17:59):
My system knows that the goddessloves me deep down inside.
And so there was this way ofgoing from an unbelievable
amount of self hatred, exactlywhat you're talking about.
Like I wouldn't even leave thehouse when I was 18 because I
thought I was too ugly foranyone to look at.
Like when you have that level oftrauma and it folds in on
itself, the weight of thatenergy goes so gnarly.

(18:23):
And what I found was that thosebeliefs weren't true.
They just made me feel safebecause they kept me small.
As long as I hated myself, aslong as I was picking myself
apart, as long as I was sofocused on what was wrong with
me, I didn't actually put myselfout there to connect with a man,
because that was terrifying.
Not in a real way, not in a soulbearing kind of way.

Willow (18:44):
Mm-hmm.

Leah (18:45):
can save yourself from being rejected if you never try
to get whatever it is you mostwant.
So you reject yourself first,and for some reason we think
that that's better.

Willow (18:54):
Well,

Layla (18:55):
And we believe the self rejection, it only works as a
defense mechanism if youactually believe the lies that
you're telling yourself.
So I feel like, you know, thebeauty of this and the, the
thing I'm feeling right now intalking to you to is like you
can high priestess yourself outof even the deepest levels of
self hatred, the deepest levelsof self rejection, the most

(19:17):
overwhelming waves of shame anddisgust, and find your way back
to the human truth, which isactually dignity and beauty and
erotic connection and intimacy.
And deep down inside, you know,my inner little girl, I could
love her so much here and now.
That's the only ver version thatmatters, right?
The version from.
All the way back in the daydoesn't matter, but she gets the

(19:40):
love finally that she deservedinfant layla gets, the love she
deserved, and in actuallyreceiving that depth of love,
they have freed themselves ofthe need for me to protect
myself with that level of selfhatred anymore.
And that's why yesterday Iliterally was like, wait.
I was like, it feels like itfeels like something's missing.

(20:01):
And I was like, I don't everlook at the mirror anymore and
think there's anything wrongwith me.
And that was just my pervasivestate of being.
And I was like, like, cheersthat I'm gonna have a sip of
coffee.

Leah (20:13):
Well, you know, you are reminding me, I remember when I
was first starting to do Tantrahealing work on myself and going
through these healing ritualsand, you know, I treated myself
the way I wanted a partner totreat me with a bubble bath and
the smelly things and spendingmoney on me and all these
things.
And I would go and, and I wouldtouch my Chakras and I would
breathe and I would put in myhands the things I wish someone

(20:36):
else would put in their handsfor me.
And then I remember this, the,the quantum physics idea that
the past, the present and thefuture all happening at the same
time.
And so the love that I felt Iwas calling on for my future
self, the Leah, that was fiveyears from now, the Leah, that
was 10 years from now, the Leahthat was 15 years from now, who
had already done all of this,who was living in her radiance

(20:59):
and doing so many beautifulthings, being totally herself,
all the things I wanted thatdidn't have then, I would just
have her come and like transmit.
What I'm ready for and over andover and over again.
I've done that through theyears.
Even now, I'll tune into theLeah that's 60 or 55 and go

(21:21):
help, I dunno how to do thisyet.
And it's pretty profound.
You

Willow (21:25):
It's almost version of, of, uh, a version of sex magic.
You know, where you're likecalling in the future self and
what it feels like and what itlooks like.
Um, Layla, I just listened toone of your, um, little mini
podcasts the other day on theseven day podcast.
The seven day, uh, sex MagicRitual.
It was great.

Layla (21:44):
Oh,

Willow (21:45):
with our audience a little snippet about that.

Layla (21:48):
Yeah.
So does your audience know whatSex magic is?

Willow (21:50):
Yes, they do.
But give us your

Leah (21:53):
I wouldn't, maybe not everybody, but, so there'll be

Willow (21:56):
from the top.
Yeah.

Layla (21:58):
So sex magic, which you can actually find in a lot of
different ancient cultures.
Now, I found you can find it inindigenous cultures of North
America and South America.
You can find it in the Celtictraditions, and I did actually
find it in a classical Tantrictext, the yo, um, about using
the power of aeros to shape andmanifest in reality.
So really, really powerful thatthis actually has shown up in so

(22:21):
many different cultures overtime.
And the idea with sex magic isthat you can use your erotic
power to be a more potentmanifester.
And when I first started doingit, like I already mentioned, I
went to Stanford.
I studied neurobiology, so I waslike, wait, no, no, I can't be
manifesting like amounts ofmoney.
Like literally I would see theexact number of people that

(22:44):
would be in a program I waslaunching.
I'd do sex magic around that.
Just health.
It was, it was amazing.
It was.
So powerful.
And I was like, how the hell isthis working?
And I really got into whatcreates manifestation.
And so one of the reasons SexMagic is so powerful, right?
You turn yourself on, you spinyour erotic energy and pleasure
through the seven chakra bands.

(23:05):
And when it goes all the way upto the crown, you put yourself
into a state of peak pleasure ororgasm.
You can do it solo or with apartner.
And in that state, you step intowhat I call the five senses
reality, which is you are in,immersed in what it is that you
want.
You taste it, you touch it, yousmell it, you see it here, you
feel it, right?
And in that what you're doing isyou are saying to not just your

(23:30):
prefrontal cortex, the part ofyou that can vision the future,
but your entire body, which hasway more of your unconscious
mind and your unconsciousimprinting locked in it.
You are speaking to your wholebody when you do the
visualization.
So when most of us aremanifesting, we're seeing
something over and over again,or we're affirming something and

(23:51):
we're only engaging our spatialvisual abilities and our verbal
abilities, but we're notnecessarily touching our
unconscious mind.
So what makes sex magic sopowerful is you're actually
bringing your unconscious mindonline.
So in the Tantric practices,activating the Chakras is a code
for connecting all the parts ofyour brain.

(24:12):
So when you actually putyourself in the vision of your
manifestation, your whole brainis connected and online, and
your whole body is attuned andlistening at the same time,
you've put yourself into one ofthe highest states of vibration
possible, which is the orgasmicstate of pleasure.
And most of the time, I'd say.
Almost every time with somekarmic or environmental

(24:33):
exceptions, if you say you wantsomething, but you're not
getting it like that isreasonably available, like a
healthy partnership, right?
Or a reasonable amount of moneyyou can make a reasonable amount
of success, a reasonable amountof health, right?
And you don't have it, it'sbecause some part of your
nervous system is still afraid.
And what sex magic does is itactually puts you in the reality

(24:54):
of that thing that you most wantand allows deep locks in your
nervous system to re imprintthat this is actually
pleasurable.
This is actually safe to havethis.
And I haven't come acrossanother manifesting tool that
creates that level of pleasureand safety as an imprint with
the manifestation.

(25:14):
But what I will say to answerDr.
Willow's question is just thatin doing sex magic is like, wow,
this is so powerful.
And you actually referenced thisLeah earlier, which is that when
you make a big leap forward,there's often a grief.
That you didn't have the thingbefore.

(25:35):
And if we don't give ourselvesspace to process the grief, the
grief will actually stick us inthe old habit pattern.
So I shared a sex magic practicethat I developed because I was
ready to call in my partner.
And prior to that, right, I hadseparated from an eight and a
half year partnership.
That was beautiful.
But it was also not my, like, itit, I just knew it wasn't my

(25:58):
truth.
And it took a lot of courage toleave.
And in the interim period acouple of times I was like, I
wanna call in my king and Iwould like listen to myself.
And I was like, that's bullshit.
Like, you don't actually wannacall in your king, like, I don't
know what you want, but youdon't want that.
Because I would say it, and itwasn't coherent in my being.
So I did a lot of work, a lot ofhealing, you know, had some

(26:21):
disastrous experiences, somereally wondrous experiences.
And finally I was like, I'mfucking ready.
And I was like, okay.
Once I became ready.
All the grief hit that I hadnever let myself be ready before
all the grief, even of havingbeen in good relationships with
really good men.
Even that past partnership wasso beautiful in so many ways,

(26:44):
and there were so many timeswhere I could not receive the
love and the devotion that I wasstill too terrified, still too
caught up in my own trauma, andI felt that to actually call in
this man and the level of powermatch and conscious partnership
that I really wanted, I wouldhave to grieve all of the times
that I hadn't let myself havethat because as soon as I could

(27:05):
have it, I could realize that Ididn't let myself have it.
And so.
I did this ritual leading intoBurning Man, where I did seven,
um, mornings of grief ritual.
So I would put on a clock forlike 15 or 30 minutes and I
would let myself grieve and soband I'd hit pillows and I'd cry
and I'd be in sorrow and I, I'dbe like full picked up.

(27:26):
Like I'd never had the laughthat I'd say after, what am I
doing?
Right?
And then in the evening orafternoon, I would do sex magic.
And I chose s seven differentqualities I wanted in my
partnership.
And I did sex magic on eachquality.
So I called in the reality offeeling devotion from my partner
and the reality of having ashared Tantric practice and the

(27:48):
reality of feeling emotionallysafe and the reality of it being
like hot and um, like a playmateconnection and an intellectual
match.
So I did seven different sexmagics, seven different grieving
rituals, and uh, literally metmy partner like a few days
later.
So it was a really.

Leah (28:06):
did, darling.
Yes.
Makes total sense.
Brilliant.

Willow (28:11):
I love the, I love the, the metaphor you gave in that
episode of like, you know, ifyou've got a.
Um, like a chalice cup and, andyou wanna put the love of your
life in there.
You wanna put your amazinghealth or your abundant bank
account in that chalice, likewhatever it is that you're
manifesting.
If there's too much of thegrief, the shadow of the lack of

(28:32):
never, not having, of the anger,of the fear, of the doubt of the
insecurity, if there's too muchof that in your chalice, then
you can't, you can't fill it upwith that thing that you want so
bad.
So I've been,

Leah (28:44):
good point.

Willow (28:45):
Teaching, I've been teaching my women the sex magic
practice.
We're doing a year of sex magicpractice, and I'm like, gosh,
how much can we, like, how muchcan we draw on and pull on in
relationship to manifestingthrough our eros?
Because I'm real into JoeDispenza too.
And like talk about, I mean,he's basically teaching Tantra
to the world, to the book of theworld.

(29:05):
It's fantastic.
I love it.
So, um, so it's really fun to,to, I love that episode because
it gave me some new nuggets andsome new ideas and just some new
inspiration around like, youknow, offering even more to, to
the women in, in my sphere.

Layla (29:23):
Yeah,

Leah (29:24):
yeah, please.

Layla (29:26):
I also really learned something big around it with my
health recently because I hadthis realization, it was
probably like eight months intobeing sick and I was like, you
have not sex magic to yourhealth.

Leah (29:39):
Mm.

Layla (29:39):
I was like, how could you not be sex magic in your health?
Like literally this was arelentless level of exhaustion
and fatigue.
And it was, it was so intenseand I was thinking about it and
I realized I don't actuallywanna be healthy.
And I was like.

Leah (29:57):
Yeah,

Layla (29:58):
And then I was like, why don't I wanna be healthy?
And that question allowed me todo a certain amount of healing
work that then I was able tostart doing sex magic on my
health.
And that quality of deepcoherence and gnosis, just a
deep, unwavering knowing of whatis within you and what you're

(30:19):
creating and what your realityis.
It's like if it sits on top ofun cried tears or aggrieved
grief, or unhealed trauma,enraged anger, it won't stick.
And so if it's not sticking oryou can't get yourself to sex
magic yet, it's great to say,well, why not?
Like what?
What do I want more?

Willow (30:38):
that I want this, this illness or this not having a
partner or not having theabundance or the success or
whatever the fuck it is now,what's your process for going
there?
Can you just like sit there and,and it comes to you?
I know I've been running mywomen through Carolyn Elliot's
deep, deepest fear inventory,you know,

Layla (30:57):
Uh.

Willow (30:57):
like, I really like, I would absolutely hate to find
the love of my life, or I wouldabsolutely despise making$60,000
a month because I have deep fearthat I we'll have to pay
astronomical taxes or I havedeep fear that I will still not
feel successful in financialabundance.
Right.

(31:18):
Like all these fears.
And so what they're seeing asthey do this practice is things
that they have that theycouldn't see before.
'cause they're now bringing theunconscious to the light.
Even some of them I do privatecoaching with.
And I, and I've said these, I'mlike, well, you probably aren't
finding, you know, that partnerbecause it would mean you would
have to commit.

(31:38):
You know, and they're, and, butthey can't hear it from me,
right?
They're now getting this like,wow, I'm afraid of commitment
because they're actually goingthrough the practice and, and
getting it from themselves.
So I'm just curious, like, doyou have some other fun, um, you
know, practice that you do?
Or for you, is it just like, letme just sit down and be real
honest with myself.
I actually wanna be sick.

Layla (32:01):
I don't think any practice beats just being honest
with yourself.

Leah (32:04):
Yeah.

Layla (32:06):
So the phrase I like to say to people that I like came
up with a long time ago is actlike you took MDMA like truth
serum, right?
I don't take a lot of Molly, Iget a horrible two day hangover.
I'm like, God hates me and onlyme.
But when you take MDMA, there'sa quality where you start
speaking truth, right?
You just tell the truth.

(32:26):
If MDMA doesn't work for you,it's a truth serum, right?
You take a truth serum andyou're talking to God.
Like do not lie to God on atruth serum.
And practice being thatruthlessly honest with yourself.
Because a lot of us don't holdourselves to that standard.
It's like, oh.
It's like, hey, if I bullshitmyself a little bit or if I tell
myself something that makes mefeel just a little bit

(32:47):
comfortable, or a lot of us havea tremendous amount of shame
around how we're actuallyoperating in deeply egoic ways,
which

Leah (32:56):
Yeah.
Denial.

Layla (32:58):
Yeah.
And so we're Just like, no, no,no.
I can't like possibly be doingthat.
And so practicing tellingyourself the truth, which is a
practice of your a lifetime,helps you hear the truth and let
you know when you're not tellingyourself the truth.
And I do love a good somaticbody scan, so it's like, okay, I
want this thing, I'm gonnavision this thing.
So let's say I am saying I wantpartnership.

(33:19):
I'm gonna actually, uh, vision,my dream partner coming to me,
picking me up and doing thething maybe that I most want,
like making love to me orproposing marriage or you know,
saying, I'm like, we're, we'regonna make a baby.
Like whatever it is.
And then scanning your body andfinding where is there any
contraction?
Where is there fear?

(33:40):
Where is there dissociation?
Because our unconscious lives inthese spaces in our body and our
nervous system.
So when you scan through it andlook for those places as you're
actually visualizing the thingthat you most want, you will
often uncover things, especiallyif you're not very verbal or
mental, you can find things thatare hidden in your body.

Willow (34:02):
Yeah, that somatic experiencing and, and releasing
of old somatic, like where theblocks are and, and talking to
the places in your body and evenseeing them like, oh, there's
this stuck.
So many women get that rightbetween the heart and the
throat, obviously.
Right.
And so like, what is thesensation there?
It's tight.
It feels, you know, like, Ican't breathe very well if, and

(34:24):
then if they start to visualizeit, you know, they see all
different kinds of things.
Anything from like, you know,images of their, of their
transgressor to, to like, youknow, red spiky balls.

Leah (34:36):
Right, or be being in front of the class at in third
grade and freezing when you'resupposed to do something in
front of everybody, you know,which just reminds me the old
saying the issues are in thetissues.
So it's so much more than inyour head, baby.
If you really want to get topurify yourself from the blocks

(34:57):
and the pain and the owies andthe hotspots, it, you can't just
work it up here, which is theold therapeutic model.
You gotta be able to go into thebody and investigate.
And now, after everything that'sjust been said, I finally do
remember what I was gonna say,leads into, I think, what both
of you have been discussing.
And that is so many women have ahard time reaching climaxes,

(35:21):
having what they would callorgasms, feeling like it's
always elusive to them, andespecially on demand.
So having a practice where theythink they have to have an
orgasm at the end for somethingto work could be a sticking
point.
So I'm wondering how do youhelp, um, those that really want

(35:42):
this sex magic practice?
But when they hear that a climaxis involved, they're like, fuck
I, I'm gonna, I'm gonna fail.
I'm not good at that.

Layla (35:52):
Yeah.
So what I always say is, what'simportant is not that you
absolutely climax, but that yougo into a peak state of pleasure
and the most peak state ofpleasure available to you in
that moment.
And people who first start doingsex magic, sometimes they don't
feel pleasure.
Sometimes there is dissociation,sometimes there is numbing out.

(36:14):
And I even say that, you know,we'll do a hundred person sex
magic rituals in my trainings.
And I'll say, you know, ifyou've never done sex magic with
a hundred people before, likeorgasmed in a room full of this
many, like wild screaming, youknow?
Yeah.
I was like, be gentle withyourself.
You know, it's a new, it's a newexperience for your body and

(36:36):
your mind and your nervoussystem.
So give yourself some, somepatience and some compassion and
some slowness and some grace.
And even I had a, a man.
A long time ago, he was one ofthe first men who ever came to
my all gender sex magic.
And he was, he's like a bigknown, uh, like figure in the,

(36:56):
in the business world.
I, I won't reveal his name, buthe actually tells everyone that
he did this.
He's like, I came to Layla'sbackyard and did sex Magic in
2020, and I was like, that's.
That's true.
And the reason that I named thatis sometimes I think people have
these perceptions that men atsome of the highest levels of
power in society like don't dothis sort of thing.
And they do and they take to itand they're so excited.

(37:19):
But his big piece when he calledme up was like, what if I don't
have an erection?
And I was like, you don't haveto have an erection.
He was like, really?
What if I don't feel turned on?
And I was like, you don't haveto feel turned on.
The idea is to be there to workwith the energy, to cultivate
whatever arises for you and bewith the process.
And if.
If something comes up besidespleasure, then there's healing

(37:41):
to be done.
And he had the most magnificentexperience with a soft a flacid
penis the entire time, just likelying in the backyard.
And it healed him of somethingso profound, and he's gone on
now to have much deeper, moreerotic practices.
I have not seen anyone do sexmagic over a long period of
time.
That doesn't start to cultivatea deeper ability to have peak

(38:05):
states of pleasure or easierorgasms that are more on tap
because that is something youcan build.
But for people who feelabsolutely nothing in the
beginning, or even for men whodon't have erections, it's not
meant to be a practice thatpushes you towards something.
But it is meant to be a practicewhere over time you cultivate an
ability to get super turned ondoing it.

(38:27):
And there is a kind of Pavlovianresponse.
I wish there was a coolermetaphor for that, but like
Pavlovian response, you're like,time for sex magic, and your
pussy is like, yeah, it's.

Leah (38:36):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Like even if that, there'ssomething always to discover.

Layla (38:42):
Yes.

Leah (38:43):
the outcome, there's always something to discover.
And can you be curious even whenyou're like, fuck, I didn't feel
any arousal.
You can go, huh, that'sinteresting.
I didn't feel that much arousaland just that little bit of tone
shift, that little bit of, um,perspective shift, I think then
can lead you to the other thingsthat might be covered up that

(39:05):
wanna unfurl so that you canreach more of that ecstasy that
is available to you.
Sometimes we just have layers ofstuff covering it up, and we
have to be brave to go, let mefeel everything, no matter what
it is.
Let me finish metabolizing thelayers that might be on top of
my bliss, because there's onlyone way to it.

(39:25):
You gotta kinda encounter allthe parts of yourself, the good
and the yucky.

Willow (39:31):
And sometimes we don't know what, what it is, there's
no story attached to it.
Like that's one of the beautifulthings about all the Tantric
practices is you don't have tohave a trauma attached to it or
a story attached to it or atimeline attached to it.
It could just be like emotioncoming up and coming out, or
physical things coming up andcoming out, shooting sharp, you

(39:54):
know, experiences that movethrough your body.
And what they're basically doingis opening up stagnant Chi in
your meridians so that you canactually start to run more
pleasure and more, uh, eroticarousal sensations through those
meridians and, and become moreof yourself.
Like fill yourself up with your

Leah (40:14):
It's like I'm wondering why I'm psychic vomiting right
now.
All I'm doing is g and g andgag.
Oh, now I'm burping.
What the fuck is going on?
And it's just like, sub baby,just let it out.

Layla (40:28):
Well, you're touching on an excellent point, which is
culturally, obviously most of usare carrying the story that sex
needs to be about pleasure andanything erotic must feel
pleasurable.

Leah (40:38):
Right.

Layla (40:40):
I this is, that will not be triggering to your audience,
but is surprisingly, or notsurprisingly, triggering to the
rest of the world.
When I say that sex is theactive form of meditation, and
meditation is the still form ofsex.
So if you sit down to meditatesometimes you're like having,
yeah, you're burping, you'reshaking.
There's like an energyawakening.
Sometimes something's processingthrough you.
Sometimes it's deep peace,sometimes it's unity, oneness.

(41:02):
But the point is that you showedup and did it not that you felt
any particular thing and sexualexperiences have that same
quality actually, that it reallyis whatever is here.
And what's also amazing is forpeople who do plant medicine,
real erotic activation is muchmore like what you would
experience in a plant medicineceremony where yes, you're

(41:24):
psychically vomiting up egoiclimitation from your solar
plexus so that your energy canflow through your entire being
and you can express the fullforce of your power.
You know, it's very, it gets alot wilder and a lot weirder
than people ever imagined sex tobe.
'Cause we're, we're actuallyrepressing the hell out of how

(41:45):
free our bodies would really be.
Your body is designed to be asfree as it would be in an
ayahuasca ceremony of theshaking and the spiritual
downloads and the release ofenergy.
And I have actually, it doesn'thappen that often.
Doesn't need to happen.
I'm physically vomited duringsex.
Like when you're really actuallyletting energy, life force flow
all the way through you, you getto a level of surrender and

(42:07):
majesty and ecstasy.
And I don't care how you getthere, whether it's kink,
whether it's deep in loveness,whether it's power dynamics,
whether it's being day at ease.
Yeah.

Leah (42:19):
celibate,

Willow (42:20):
Yeah.

Layla (42:21):
But that's the feeling we're all hungry for.
And that's the feeling that wewant during sex.
And ironically, that experiencecomes through allowing anything
that's not pleasure, but isaliveness itself moving through
you, and then the much deeperecstasy comes through.

Willow (42:38):
I think that people are afraid to go through that portal
across that threshold of like,oh, that's uncomfortable and I
wanna scream this out, or Iwanna vomit this out.
Can't tell you how many times Isat in that judge spends a
meditation hall, like feelinglike I need to fucking throw up
bag right here, right now.
'cause like so much energy'smoving up and breaking through

(42:58):
the, the blocks in each one ofthe Chakras and, you know, so
it's just, um, it's, it's scary.
It's, you have to surrender intothe unknown and the unknown is
scary.
So, you know, that's one of thethings that he's always touting
is to fall in love with theunknown.
And I think that is so, so truein relationship to breaking

(43:19):
through sexually.

Leah (43:22):
Y you know, this is funny.
I have to tell this story.
Um,'cause it's reminding me ofall of this.
I grew up the first 10 years ofmy life.
My parents were Pentecostal, sowe went to church and people
speaking in tongues and the HolySpirit and praying, and they
were actually doing Shakti pot.
Um, but this was a Christianthing.
So I don't know how thattradition got into this
tradition, but it's really funto like be grown up and notice

(43:45):
the threads.
And we left that church.
And then I got baptized intoCatholicism, Layla, and then had
to go to Catholic school.
So I had these very strangeChristian, um, things that got
woven into my conditioning.
And I am, I'm well into myTantra life and did MDMA one
night and had like the mostincredible Tantric love making.

(44:07):
I, I, all the memories are sobeautiful.
And then I hit a thing like thismassive thing.
I remember having the femaleEjaculation and when I looked at
the towel, it was the color of adark, um, rain cloud.
It was like gray and I wassobbing.
It was like spirit came in andthen washed through all my
Chakras and I released so muchof the contraction that came

(44:30):
from that sexual abuse as a kidthat was still living there.
And it was like we are cleaningthis shit out.
And then right afterward Istarted speaking in tongues

Layla (44:39):
Yeah.

Leah (44:40):
and I don't even think I believe in speaking in tongues,
which is like extra hilarious.
I'm like those that is alsofucking fake.
People are telling themselveslike this grand story and here
I'm going.
And then my partner at the time,just for fun started speaking it
back to me, me.

(45:00):
And I'm like, you get it.
And he's just like making it uptoo.
And I think that it's sointeresting how our subconscious
is trying to reconcile parts ofour conditioning and that there
is something that medicine canopen us up to that opens our
bodies and our psyches.
I might have been able todiscover that on the match.

(45:22):
never know unless it happensagain.
Um, probably not though.

Layla (45:26):
Well, the thing that I've studied with energy phenomenon
and in working with KundaliniEnergy and Life Force Energy is
that so many of our spiritualtraditions are doing what the
human body does naturally whenlife force energy moves through
it.
So one of the things that I'veseen is that speaking in tongues

(45:49):
or light language happens whenShakti or Life Force Energy
truly penetrates the third eye.
And that is, it's differenttypes of speaking in tongues and
different types of lightlanguage, but it's a pretty
universal phenomenon.
And there's lots of other thingstoo when, uh, for instance, life
force energy pulsates throughthe center of the womb, your

(46:10):
tongue comes out.
And interesting is Kali andTarara, um, some of the
goddesses from the Tantrictradition in the Hindu
tradition, they arerepresentative of the lower
Chakras and they have theirtongues sticking out.
Yeah, and what's happens iswhat, when religion goes.
Right When it starts to co-optour connection to the divine in

(46:33):
service of somebody else'spower, it takes these beautiful
capacities that we all have andteaches us like who we have to
be in order to access them orwhat God is or restricts us,
right?
So, uh, for instance, theCatholic church in a whole
rampage to control like theentire continent of Europe, for

(46:53):
instance, taught people thatshaking is demonic, but shaking
is what happens when life forceenergy moves through you.
So there's these very subtleblocks that we have in the way
that energy moves through ourbodies, and it actually goes all
the way back to religiousprogramming that is designed to
teach us from finding that,designed to keep us from finding

(47:16):
that pathway to God Goddessourselves.
And when you're talking, likewhen we were first starting this
interview, right?
Besides all the sexual piecesthat drew me to Tantra, there
was a deep spiritual traditionthat existed very globally, but
surely all over Europe and inthe Middle East, and definitely

(47:37):
in India.
And a deep part of thosepractices, which was not only
goddess worship and having highpriestesses who were part of the
guardianship of spiritualpractice, but also erotic
practices.
It was part and parcel, like away of worshiping the divine was
to work with erotic energy, wasto work with orgasmic energy.

(47:58):
And so, so many people thinkit's like, oh, it's this
aberration of, you know,whatever, Westerners like
sexualizing everything.
And it's not that that's nothappening sometimes in some
places, but there is thisremembrance in our bodies that
when Shakti and energy isflowing through you, you are
singing and dancing and inoneness with all the divine.

(48:20):
And what starts happening iserotic.
And what starts happening isspeaking in tongues.
And what starts happening is allof these beautiful energy
phenomenon.
And the reason I think it's soimportant to name it, including,
you know, energetic purging andthings like that, is because
these are sacred practices ofhigh priestess traditions that

(48:41):
many of us got programmed to beafraid of, or now we only think
are possible like if we takeplant medicine.
But actually that is our nervoussystem's natural response to the
elevated, ecstatic presence ofsacred energy within us.
And so those movements are superholy.
And so when I'm talking aboutsex incorporating those

(49:01):
movements, it's not because itneeds to be weird or out there,
it's literally because when youare so surrendered that you will
allow that amount of energy toflow through your body during
sex, those are the kinds ofthings that will start
happening.
So it's a very slow unwinding ofall the ways that we've
repressed ourselves as humansfor thousands of years, so we
can return to this rightfulstate of erotic liberation.

Leah (49:24):
You know,

Willow (49:24):
you speak our language so beautifully.

Layla (49:28):
Talking to some sexy priestesses right now.

Leah (49:32):
You know what it brings to mind, some realization for me in
this moment is when you've hadreligious trauma.
Especially when the messaging isso defined for who you're
supposed to be purity wise as awoman.
And then, um, the, what feelslike all these religious lies

(49:53):
when you move away from it andthen you wanna dance towards
spirituality.
It's kind of like you throw itall away because you have so
many lies or so many untruthscome to you in this form.
It's hard to hold on or todecipher what part of the
essence of that tradition, um,is still valuable to you when

(50:14):
you become a seeker of somethingelse.
So I'm just sort of in theawareness of that.
One of the things that wasdifferent between the
Pentecostal and the Catholic Ppiece was the, when we were
Pentecostal, I knew I had adirect relationship to God.
When we became Catholic.
I had to go through a saint

Layla (50:32):
Yeah.
And that's why the Pentecostalswill allow you to speak in
tongues and shake becausethey're like, yo, it's your
pathway.
Go for it.
Whereas like in Catholicismthey're like, don't you dare.
Or you would discover.

Leah (50:42):
that's right.
That's right.
You gotta go through a priest, anun, a saint, somebody.
Um, so yeah.
Anyways, I'm just Thank you forthat.
Just

Layla (50:50):
Yeah.
And it's been amazing to me.
I mean, I actually, I asked ChadGBT some pretty serious
questions.
'cause I'd done some religiousexcavation obviously, and you
know, what are these priestesstraditions and how was the
original, uh, you know, Judaismand then Catholicism at war with
high priestess religions and howall of that went down and how

(51:11):
all that happened.
But what was really fascinatingto me is I really was like, how
come the Jewish tradition is somuch cooler about sex?
And it was that.
It is part not so.
Oh, only some.
Only some.
It's a, it's a big tradition.
Yes, yes.
Some of them are cool.

Leah (51:26):
through a sheet.

Layla (51:27):
That's true.
That's, that's actually true.
But that part, part of thetradition is that to be a good
husband is to give your wifeorgasms.
And, you know, to be a rabbi inmost traditions is to be
married, right.
To actually have a sex life, tobe, you know, all of that.
And what's fascinating is Jesuswas a Jewish rabbi, so he
would've been teaching in thattradition.

(51:48):
And unless he said anythingother than that, that it
would've been implied that thatwas part of what he believed.
And it really wasn't until St.
Augustine came along, who andSt.
Paul, who was actually like aplayer, like a hedonistic
player.
And he had like all thisrepentance and guilt and he was
just like, nobody fuck anybody.
That's the pathway to God.
And I was like, bro, how did youruin so much for so many people?

(52:11):
Just because you couldn't keepit in your pants for a little
while?
Like

Leah (52:14):
he's the one that came up with the whole original sin and
the Adam and Eve, like

Layla (52:18):
such a bummer.

Leah (52:19):
for some really fucked up sexual consequences.
Everyone go read a New YorkTimes article on St.
Augustine.
It'll blow your mind.

Layla (52:28):
and it's only important for people to know because I
think there is still this doubtof like, but can sexually be
holy.
Like can it really be part, yes,part of a spiritual tradition,
but at least celebrated by aspiritual tradition And it's
like, yes, it's actually notthat strange.
Even through the Christiantradition and then all the way
into traditions that celebrateit as an act of prayer as it is.

Leah (52:54):
I mean I, the Pentecostal faith that I was a part of, they
really revered the union of aman and a woman.
Of course, man and a woman.
And it had to be marriage andthey had to be virgins.
But once they could cover thosethings, then it really was
spoken about as somethingexquisitely beautiful and

(53:15):
loving.
Now I wanna segue, we only havea few minutes left, but

Layla (53:19):
just also wanna say that even though I never really
touched the Pentecostalexperience that much from a
distance, I was like, they gotsnakes, they're shaking speaking
tongues.

Leah (53:29):
They're.
fainting.

Layla (53:31):
but there's something there.

Willow (53:32):
There's something Tantric going on over

Leah (53:35):
Yes.
And I, I grieved so much when weleft, I didn't understand why we
were leaving'cause I, it wassuch a home for me and I was
looking at, at one of your podpodcast episodes and um, and I
found this line veryinteresting.
I want you to comment on it.
How to break free from thestory.
We have to be special and worthybecause so many of us,

(54:01):
especially in the pursuit ofrelationship, want to be
special.
Um, I have been obsessed withthe need to be special for so
many different periods of mylife.
It's really been an interestingeffort to not be special.
So what do you have to say?

Layla (54:21):
Yeah.
I would say if you've spent yourexperience of life so far,
feeling unworthy and tellingyourself that you're not
special, then the medicine forthat person, right, because
medicine is so specific, wouldbe build the nervous system
capacity to know that youactually are worthy and build

(54:43):
the nervous system capacity toexperience when you are doing
something that's special orremarkable or beautiful, like we
all deserve to have that.
And those binaries become a deeptrap of the ego, a deep trap of
needing to have a particularidentity, an identity of being
special, and identity of beingworthy, an identity of not being

(55:05):
special, an identity of notbeing worthy.
So if you're talking.
Good, healthy personaldevelopment.
For most women, let's say, I'dsay feeling worthy and letting
yourself feel special can bepart of your personal growth and
evolution and part of your reemempowerment from a culture that
would've happily torn you down.
And by the way, I most menactually feel very unworthy and

(55:27):
very unspecial as well.
So for the mo, for the mostpart, them working on that is
very important.
And when I'm talking about thatquote specifically, there then
becomes this very potent way.
And I did it for a long time andstill do it, uh, to a certain
degree where.
The spiritual gifts that we allhave an ability to be psychic,

(55:50):
an ability to have tremendousamount of energetic power and
ability to download wisdom fromhigher, deeper places within us.
It's like the part of us that isdesperate to feel special or
desperate to feel more worthywill clinging to it as now I am
this special spiritual person,or I am this, I'm especially

(56:12):
worthy

Leah (56:13):
Yeah.
Or to be recognized by others asbeing so special and all the
things.

Layla (56:19):
Yeah.
And one of the best things, oneof my teachers, uh, told me, so
one of my mentors along the way,Ernest Morrow, he teaches very,
uh, left-handed Tantric kind ofdirect awakening practices.
And this is like years ago.
And I used to do sessions withhim on the floor of my closet
'cause it was the only place Icould go in the house where like
nobody could hear me.
So I was like lying on the floorof my closet.
He was like, you're not special.

(56:41):
And I was like, yes.
I'm, you know, when you're justlike letting like the part of
you that is, you know, whateverwants to fight your coach or
your mentor, the whole die on ahill of being a kundalini
sparkle pony.
And so I was like, really inthis thing of like, no, I am
special and owning the part ofme that does believe that in an
attempt to reveal it and make itvery real.

(57:02):
And he was like, yourspecialness.
The degree of your specialnessis so insignificant compared to
the universal magnitude of thespecialness of any human being,
and that I really got, and Ithink that's where, oh, I'm so
special.
Like I can whatever, do thesetricks.

(57:23):
Or like my pussy is thisorgasmic or like whatever it is,
right?
Yeah, maybe my pussy's a littlebit more orgasmic, or maybe I
have a, a kind of, you know,connection to wisdom right now,
but so does everybody else intheir own way.
And in every little domain thatI can find where I have
specialness, sodas, every otherhuman in their own signature.

(57:43):
But at the end of the day, allof that means nothing to the
fucking miracle of what it is tobe a human.
And I don't know about you all,but I got so conditioned by like
1990s America of like, you gottabe the prettiest and the best,
and the sparkliest and all that.
And then it's so easy to justtransfer your deep longing to
feel worthy onto your spiritualpath and to start utilizing the

(58:08):
spiritual gifts or the wisdom orthe things that you accrue.
As a way to prove to yourselfthat you actually are that
amazing.
That you actually are thatworthy.
And there's something so muchdeeper than that, that is
wordless and eternal and beyondany of that play that maintains

(58:30):
its eternal.
There's not even something I cansay to it, but power
consciousness, everythingnesslove with or without being
special with or withoutspiritual gifts, with or without
a man, with or without orgasms.
And to know that thing and toknow yourself as that thing that
is actual Tantra.

(58:50):
So that question gets to theheart of it.

Leah (58:52):
That's like the big non-dual piece.
It's like what is special?
Consciousness is special.
What is consciousness?
It's in me.
It's in you.
It's in all of us.
Like the same consciousnesslooking out my eyes is looking
out your eyes.
And that is what is special.
Leah doesn't need to be special.
I'm just connected to theconsciousness and it has so many
variety of specialness and

Layla (59:14):
And I wanna say to everyone,

Leah (59:16):
it,

Layla (59:16):
yeah, to everyone listening, I have really
experienced that anybody, whenthey love their inner child just
a little bit more and becomeslightly less defended and
protected, everybody becomesfascinating.
Literally everybody, there's nota boring person on earth.
What is boring?
What is boring is the fuckingtrauma making you feel that you

(59:40):
have to wear a mask and masksare boring.
Or your inner child telling youthat you're unlovable and the
world is unsafe, and so you shutdown all of your creativity and
all of your spark or all of yourwhatever thing you were here to
express.
I have seen time and time againthat the moment humans remove
even just a modicum of that,they become so fascinating, so

(01:00:02):
fascinating.
So just know that if you'resitting there at home, that that
is absolutely true.

Leah (01:00:08):
Oh, well that's a beautiful, um, thing to
encourage us all to get in touchwith is our pre wounded inner
child.
And to look at the world throughthat place.
And it would be impossible notto have a great time.
You wanna have more fun, morepleasure,

Willow (01:00:25):
curious little one in there.

Leah (01:00:27):
get into that pre wounded inner child and have a field
day.

Willow (01:00:31):
I love it.
Well, tell us a little bit,Layla, how people could find you
and about your program, Vita.

Leah (01:00:37):
Yeah.

Layla (01:00:39):
Laylamartin.com signing up with your email address.
So my email is still actuallythe best way to get my teachings
and, uh, everything that Icreate and release into the
world.
I also have a podcast.
To this Tantric life.
And you can follow me on the@LaylaMartin at Instagram, I've
been at Shadow Band, so youactually have to put in"The
Layla Martin" or else you can'tfind me.
Um, Layla Martin won't work.

(01:01:00):
And then I have a certificationcalled Vita Coaching.
It is a one year, it actuallyworks out to be two years once
you've done all your graduationrequirements initiation into
being a sex, love andrelationship coach from a
Tantric approach.
So, so much of what I've beentalking about here, tools and
practices built on thisphilosophy and this
understanding in order totransform people's lives.

(01:01:22):
And there will be a live eventthat is, uh, totally free and
it'll be happening probablypretty soon after this podcast
comes out.
And it's called Your Future isErotic.
So if you're interested in that,you can find information about
that, possibly you all will belinking to it.
You can also find it on mywebsite or by getting on my
email address.
You won't email list.
You will not miss it.

Leah (01:01:42):
And are these events open for men and women?

Layla (01:01:45):
So your life is erotic, uh, can be, will be for anyone.
Actually, Vita coaching rightnow is for women or, uh, female
identified feminine identified,even gen, gender nonconforming
beings.
But you gotta have some kind ofalignment with the feminine, or
it's gonna be not satisfying tobe in there.
And, uh, and I'm going to bedoing vita coaching in the

(01:02:06):
future, uh, in a way that alsoincludes men.

Willow (01:02:08):
Awesome.
That's exciting.
I know so many women have donethe VITA coaching and they just
always come out radiant andloving it

Leah (01:02:16):
yes.
Everyone always has high marksto say about it, so

Layla (01:02:20):
Uh, thank you so much.
It is a really, really specialprogram.
I.

Leah (01:02:26):
Well, we look forward to our path crossing.
Again, thank you so much forgiving us your time and uh,
everyone else stay tuned.
'cause you know what's up next.
It's the Dish,

Willow (01:02:37):
we'll see you there.

Announcer (01:02:39):
Now our favorite part, the dish.

Willow (01:02:43):
Well, that was fun.
Yeah.
I mean, you know, it's so funny,I've, I've known of Layla for I
don't know how many years now,at least 15 or so, and it's, um,
be mostly because of, uh, a, agirlfriend that you know of.
My, my friend, I won't mentionher name, but she loves Layla,
and so she's been telling meabout her for years, and I just

(01:03:05):
have, um you know, haven't hadthe, the time or the bandwidth
to really fully check out her,her work, but it's just been, it
was so great to kind of sit withher from a fresh perspective of
not really knowing her, herwork.
I, I listened to a few podcastsas we were prepping for this
and, you know, it's like she's,she's so been on the Tantric

(01:03:26):
path for such a long time andstudied so many of the classics
and the neo Tantra and, youknow, so many different layers
and levels of it.
So it's really, it was reallyfun to just get to know her from
that beginner's mindset, youknow?

Leah (01:03:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I really loved her fullinvestigation of Sex magic.
Um, of, you know, I've had.
I've had sex magic in two veryimportant compartments in my
life that were really worked outbeautifully for me between
finding a home and and finding ahusband.

(01:04:00):
Um, but it's not something Ifeel called to do all the time.
I don't know why.
It just, it, uh, it's just not ayes.
Um, but hearing her talk aboutit,

Willow (01:04:14):
I was hoping something was opening up for you.

Leah (01:04:17):
to my own, you know, teachings of it, it, it is, it's
fresh, right.
And so it does, it did.
Some doors cracked open.
I'm a little more open to it andI have some things in my life
that I would like to see gosmoother.
So,

Willow (01:04:34):
Yeah.
You know, and

Leah (01:04:36):
to investigate that again.

Willow (01:04:37):
I think the, the grief ritual added to the,

Leah (01:04:41):
Yeah.

Willow (01:04:42):
to, to, before the sex magic practice is really, really
potent and really important.
I've been, um, guiding my womenon what I've been learning and
playing with, which was is acomplaint container, or you
could also call it the HiddenDesires container.
And this is from the Light DarkInstitute.
Um, and it's like.
It's similar.
Yeah.

(01:05:02):
Like you set a timer for fiveminutes and you just fucking let
it rip and you throw pillows andyou hit the couch and you, you
scream and you yell and you justlike let all the complaints go
about whatever it is.
That's sort of like filling yourchalice and getting in the way
of you actually calling in thething that you want.
So, um, really powerful.
Both, both of those practice thegrief ritual and both.

(01:05:24):
That and the hidden desires forAKA complaint container can, can
totally empty you out to a placewhere you can get to those even
deeper desires that you really,really want to see come to
fruition in your life.
And then you make love to thatdesire rather than the surface
level.
Like, I just don't wanna bealone anymore.

(01:05:46):
I just don't wanna be strugglingwith finances anymore, whatever
it is, you know?

Leah (01:05:50):
Yeah.
I think that's a brilliantaddition to preparing the vessel
for being able to live morefully in to this thing that is
gonna become your reality, tofeel that reality.
It makes sense.
You'd have to do some purifyingof the stuff that's weighing you
down and blocking you fromhaving that in the first place.
Genius.

Willow (01:06:10):
absolutely.
So

Leah (01:06:14):
So,

Willow (01:06:15):
Layla Martin.

Leah (01:06:16):
Layla Martin,

Willow (01:06:17):
Tell us what you

Leah (01:06:18):
of the show.

Willow (01:06:19):
Yeah.
Tell us what you thought.
Tell us what you loved.
Tell us what you want more of.

Leah (01:06:23):
You know what, I, almost, before the interview happened, I
was thought I might wanna takethis into the direction of two
different things that we didn'tget into.
One was BDSM.
Because she is exploring thatand she's had a couple of really
interesting guests on her showtalking about it.
And so it would've been fun toget her take on what's new for

(01:06:45):
her in her life that she'sinvestigating, and um, and also
just maybe having her speak alittle bit more about conscious
uncoupling and how much,'causeshe's been very public about
that breakup.
Um, but it was really fun tohear about this new person in
her life and all the stuff shehad to do in order to call that

(01:07:09):
in.

Willow (01:07:10):
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, that was a great, yeah,and we'll put a, I'll put a,
we'll put a link to the episodethat I was talking about her,
um, sex Magic.
It's only like a 30 or 40 minutelittle, a little episode that
she recorded.
Okay.

Leah (01:07:24):
Okay, I hope everyone has a fun day and that you enjoyed
the beautiful Layla Martin, welove you.
Remember, if you wanna help theshow grow, I gotta subscribe,
baby.
And those comments move us rightalong.
We love'em, and we will answerthem.
Ciao.

Announcer (01:07:42):
Thanks for tuning in.
This episode was hosted byTantric Sex Master Coach and
positive psychology facilitator,Leah Piper, as well as by
Chinese and Functional Medicinedoctor and Taoist Taxology
teacher, Dr.
Willow Brown.
Don't forget your comments, likesubscribes and suggestions
matter.
Let's realize this new worldtogether.

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Layla Martin: Energy Phenomenon - What Really Happens When Life Force Moves Through You | #147

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}Layla Martin: Energy Phenomenon - What Really Happens When Life Force Moves Through You | #147