Gremlins & Emotional Intelligence

Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Poppy holiday season here from the Shadows podcast.
Whether this time of year feels joyful, heavy, chaotic,
nostalgic, or all the above, I am grateful you're spending a
few minutes here with us this week.
And I want to start with a powerful EQ reflection to ground
us right away. The goal isn't to eliminate

(00:23):
emotion, it's to learn how to live with it without letting it
run your life. So before we go any further, let
me ask you this. What resonated most with you
from last week's Elf and Emotional Intelligence episode?
Was it the reminder about identity, belonging, or how

(00:43):
often we abandoned ourselves trying to earn approval?
Just sit with that for a second because today's movie takes
those same emotional themes and cranks the chaos up all the way.
That's right, today we are talking about Gremlins, a movie
that's ridiculous on the surface, but emotionally it's a

(01:04):
full blown warning label. Gremlins was released in June of
1984, right in the middle of thesummer blockbuster season.
It was made on a relatively modest budget and went on to
earn over $150 million worldwide, becoming one of the
most successful films of that year.

(01:25):
Critics and audiences in 1984 didn't quite know what to do
with it at first. It was darker than expected.
It was funnier than expected. It was scarier than expected and
somehow still marketed like a family holiday movie.
Parents were confused. Kids were terrified, everybody

(01:46):
around the world wanted a Mogwai, and studios quickly
realized this movie was part of the reason the PG13 rating had
to exist. And emotionally, Grandmas was a
hit because it told the truth. Chaos doesn't come from nowhere,
It comes from ignored rules and unmanaged impulses.

(02:10):
So let's go through a little EQ roll call of the characters
through the lens of emotional intelligence.
And we have Randall Peltzer, who's Billy's dad.
He's the first character we're introduced to in this film.
He's got a big heart. 0 self-awareness, loves ideas more
than responsibility. I wish he could make a smokeless

(02:30):
vapor for people to use out in public.
EQ lesson here though. Good intentions don't cancel,
poor follow through. And then we have Billy, who's
one of the main characters of the film, Kind, reactive, still
learning ownership, still going to high school represents what
happens when you inherit responsibility before you're

(02:52):
ready for it. And then we have Kate, Billy's
girlfriend. I guess the emotional realist,
trauma aware. She's grounded, she sees the
world clearly even when it's uncomfortable.
She spoils Christmas for almost every kid watching the film and

(03:14):
tells very awkward stories. But her EQ lesson is truth
doesn't disappear just because it makes others uncomfortable.
Speaking of uncomfortable, we have Miss Deagle.
She's wealthy, bitter, UN empathetic, sour, without
compassion. She walks directly to the
counter of the bank like Uber Eats drivers do at your local

(03:36):
Chipotle. And the EQ lesson here is
unresolved resentment eventuallyisolates you.
I mean, she does have a lot of cats.
Then we have the gremlins. Pure impulse, no regulation,
even less empathy than Misdeagle.
They don't feel, they react. Not to mention they love

(03:59):
Flashdance and Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.
But they are unchecked emotion in physical form.
And then there's Gizmo. Innocent, gentle, disciplined,
Gizmo represents emotional regulation, boundaries, and
restraint. He literally survives because he
follows a set of rules. And yes, I even got Gizmo

(04:24):
tattooed on my forearm as a reminder for these exact
lessons. Rules aren't limitations, dear
emotional guardrails. Now if you haven't seen Gremlins
in quite some time and it is a, in my opinion, holiday film,
here is a elevator synopsis of the film.

(04:47):
A Shark Tank hungry dad buys a mysterious creature as a gift, a
Christmas gift for a son. He ignores 3 very clear rules
that were presented to him as the time of the purchase.
Well, I do argue though. When does after midnight stop?

(05:08):
Think about that. The creatures get wet, multiply,
eat. After midnight.
Suddenly the entire town is under siege by caffeinated chaos
monsters who gamble, drink, flash people vandalize,
terrorize everyone with an eyesight.
I think they even killed the teacher.
They never really said whether or not he was dead or not.

(05:29):
All. Wow.
One small discipline. Mogwai quietly tries to survive
the mess with a Barbie car in scene.
All right now I will say this isone of my favorite films.
So today we will be introducing 3 life cheat codes straight out
of Gremlins and these codes helpprevent chaos before it

(05:52):
multiplies. First, rules are emotional
guardrails #2 Unchecked impulses, multiply problems, and
cheat code #3 responsibility is the price of ownership.
Now we have these three posted on our Instagram and Facebook

(06:13):
page if you want to check them out.
Because Gizmo isn't really aboutmonsters.
It's about what happens when we ignore the emotional rules we
already know we should follow. So let's press start and jump
straight into this episode with cheat code #1 rules are
emotional guardrails. And I need to say this clearly

(06:39):
right up front. Rules are not punishment.
They are not control. They're not about killing fun.
Rules exist because emotion without structure turns into
chaos. Whether it's your personal life,
whether it's your professional life.
I mean, that's literally the plot of Gremlins.

(06:59):
And think about it. Don't get them wet, don't feed
them after midnight. I've already told you my
question about that one. Don't expose them to bright
light. That's not complicated, that's
not confusing, it's not vague. And yet chaos still ensues.
Why? Because rules are easy to follow

(07:19):
until emotion gets involved. So some real life rule breaking
is we all have gremlin rules in our own life.
I don't want to check work e-mail at night unless I'm
already stressed. I don't text my ex unless you're

(07:39):
only at 11:47 PM. Don't argue when I'm tired
unless someone breathes the wrong way.
I don't doom scroll before bed unless I swear it's just for 5
minutes. And just like gremlins, once you
break those rules, the mess multiplies.
You're groggy the next day, you're tired, you're

(08:02):
cantankerous to be around. And even New Year's parallels.
New Year's is coming around the corner every January.
We suddenly love rules. I'm not going to eat after 7.
No coffee after 2:00 PM. No scrolling in bed.
Gym before work, not after. I will meal prep on Sundays.

(08:23):
And you know something interesting?
We don't call those restrictions.
We call them goals. Why?
Because we understand intuitively.
Structure supports the version of us we want to become.
That's not control, that's self-awareness.
Emotional intelligence helps us understand that people don't

(08:46):
rely on willpower alone, they rely on guardrails.
Because when emotions run high, logic runs low.
When emotions run high, impulse gets louder.
When emotions run high, consequences feel far away.

(09:06):
Life happens. Rules exist for the moment.
You're least likely to follow them.
That's why Gizmo survives. He doesn't improvise.
He doesn't negotiate with emotion.
He follows the guardrails. This is why I've got Gizmo on my

(09:27):
arm. As I mentioned the top of this,
this is a tattoo I got a couple of months back.
This is how powerful I feel likethis message is.
Not because he's cute, though heis.
It is nice to look down at him staring at me, but because he's
a reminder that discipline isn'trestricted, it's protective.
Rules don't kill freedom. They protect the version of you

(09:48):
that shows up after emotion spikes.
A quote for you here. The rules you ignored today
become the chaos you manage tomorrow.
Sit with that. The rules you ignored today
become the chaos you manage tomorrow.

(10:09):
So here's the self reflection that I want you to take with
you. What emotional rule do you
already know you need, but you keep breaking when it matters
the most? Is it a boundary pause bedtime
conversation? You avoid the trigger.

(10:30):
You pretend you don't have because the goal isn't
perfection. The goal is fewer gremlins
running your life right now. We've talked about our
guardrails. Now let's transition over to
Cheat code #2 which is uncheckedimpulses, Multiply problems.

(10:52):
If Cheat Code 1 taught us that rules exist to prevent chaos,
Cheat Code 2 shows us what happens when we ignore them.
Unchecked impulses, multiply problems, and gremlins.
Don't even try to be subtle about it.
The moment water hits a magua, what happens?

(11:14):
Chaos ensues. It doesn't get slightly worse.
It doesn't create one problem. It multiplies.
One emotional slip becomes more chaos, more noise, more damage,
less control. That's how emotions work when we
don't regulate them. You've seen this play out in

(11:35):
real life. One sarcastic comment turns into
a full blown argument. 1 Angry e-mail becomes 5 paragraphs of
regret or come talk to me in person.
One impulse purchase wrecks the budget for a month. 1 You know
what? I'll just say it becomes damage
to a relationship. And the wild part?

(12:00):
None of it felt that serious in the moment.
That's the danger of impulse. We've all been there, where
we've sat with a phone in front of us and we want to respond to
a text, or we want to respond toa group chat, or we want to give
some sort of answer impulsively.And it always feels justified

(12:22):
right before it multiplies. So impulse isn't the enemy.
Unmanaged impulse is emotionallyintelligent.
People don't suppress emotion, they create a space for it,
feeling and reacting. Because one reaction happens,
you don't just deal with the feeling anymore, you deal with

(12:45):
the fallout. The gremlins don't pause, they
don't reflect, they don't self regulate, they have zero EQ
skills. They react and everything burns
down. So emotion without regulation
doesn't fade, it spreads. It's like a fire.
That's the water moment. Now, some practical EQ tools to

(13:12):
kind of give yourself moving forward with this one is, you
know, so here's the simplest emotional regulation tool you
can use. Pause, name, choose.
So pause, don't react immediately name frustrated,
embarrassed, overwhelmed. Google the emotional wheel, name

(13:36):
it so you can tame it, and then choose Respond, Don't react.
Naming emotions shuts off the water supply.
No water, no multiplication. And then here's what I want you
to reflect on. What emotion in your life keeps
multiplying because you never slow down long enough to

(13:58):
regulate it. Is it anger?
Is it stress? I've been there for both of
those. Is it resentment?
Is it validation seeking? Because when impulse runs the
show, you don't just feel worse,you create more to clean up
later. All right, now we've gone over

(14:19):
our guardrails, we've covered the emotional guardrails, the
unchecked emotions. Now let's go over cheat code #3
responsibility is the price of ownership.
And this is where Gremlins finally tells the truth we all
try to avoid. In Gremlins, the chaos doesn't
stop when people complain about it.
It doesn't stop when they panic.It doesn't even stop when they

(14:41):
blame the creatures. It stops when someone finally
says this is on me, I'm going togo deal with it.
Ownership is the turning point and real life avoidance because
we've all been there is we love ownership in theory, but in real
life we say things like that's just how I am.

(15:04):
They made me react that way. I didn't start it.
If they would have just listened, this wouldn't have
happened. Which is basically emotional
code for I want the benefit without the responsibility.
And unfortunately, that's not how this works.
Think about the clearest examples of ownership in real

(15:25):
life. When people decide we want to
have kids or we're going to go bring a pet into our home,
something shifts immediately. Although I've seen some kids and
pets that could real life rival gremlins, you don't get to say I
don't feel like it today. You don't get to say that's not

(15:48):
my problem, and you don't get tosay I'll deal with it later
because ownership changes the rules.
You show up when you're tired, when you're stressed, when it's
inconvenient to you. Because both of them, kids and
pets, will get you out of bed atthe earliest moments of the
morning. Not because it's easy, but

(16:10):
because it's something that's depending on you.
That's responsibility at its best.
And here's the EQ lesson. Ownership isn't about control.
It's about care. The moment you truly own
something, your behavior changesto include yourself, your

(16:32):
priority shift, your excuses disappear.
That's why responsibility restores order in gremlins.
Someone finally stops reacting and start showing up.
Because responsibility doesn't mean self blame, shame, or
beating yourself up. It means acknowledging your
rules, regulating your responses, taking action instead

(16:56):
of deflecting, falling on the sword versus stabbing someone
with the sword. Emotional intelligent people
understand this. You don't control what shows up,
you control what you do next. That's ownership.
If you own it, you can change it.
If you avoid it, it owns you. That's this entire cheat code.

(17:22):
And here's a simple tool you canuse immediately when motions
spike. Ask yourself one question.
What part of this is mine to handle?
Not whose fault is this? Who started it?
Who should apologize first? Just what's mine to own?
A single pivot restores power and a solid reflection.

(17:47):
Questioning here to sit with. What situation in your life
would immediately improve if youstop defending yourself and
started owning your response? His responsibility isn't
punishment. It's the cost of becoming the
person who restores order instead of adding to the chaos.

(18:10):
When you put all these three cheat codes together, rules
create guardrails, regulation prevents multiplication, and
responsibility restores order. You don't eliminate emotion, you
lead it. But before we close out this
episode, we have to talk about the Gremlins.
Not just what they do, but what they represent.

(18:32):
Because the Gremlins aren't villains in the traditional
sense. They're not masterminds.
They're not strategic, although they probably do have more
common sense than the Wet Bandits.
They are pure impulse in Gremlins.
The gremlins don't plan ahead. They don't think about
consequences. They don't even care who gets

(18:53):
hurt to include themselves. They chase whatever feels good
in the moment, whether it's noise destruction, distraction,
indulgence, chaos. Does it sound familiar?
That's because the gremlins are what emotions look like without
regulation. They drink, they gamble, they
destroy property, they take overthe movie theater and literally

(19:17):
distract themselves while the world burns.
And here's the key insight. The gremlins don't create chaos
on their own. They exploit the absence of
structure. They only exist because the
rules were ignored, they only multiply because impulses
weren't managed, and they only thrive because responsibility
was delayed. Emotion works the same way.

(19:40):
When we don't regulate emotion, anger becomes aggression, stress
becomes burnout. Hurt becomes resentment.
Loneliness becomes validation. Seeking unchecked emotion
doesn't come down on its own. He finds outlets and gets
louder. It recruits others.

(20:00):
It's why the gremlins moving packs.
Like Joe Biden says, basement people always want to pull you
down there with them. And here's the contrast the
movie gives us. Gizmo never turns into a
gremlin. Not because he's weak, not
because he's scared, but becausehe's disciplined.
Gizmo represents emotional maturity.

(20:22):
He feels, but it doesn't spiral.He reacts, but he doesn't lose
himself. He follows the rules even when
others don't. That's the emotional
intelligence gap. So if Gremlins were honest, it
would be asking us what happens when your emotions take over the
controls and no one is driving. That's what this episode is

(20:46):
really about. Not eliminating emotion, not
becoming robotic, but learning how to lead yourself when things
get loud. Because at the end of the day,
rules create guardrails, regulation prevents
multiplication, and responsibility restores
ownership. And when you ignore those, the

(21:06):
gremlins don't show up all at once.
They show up one small decision at a time.
Check all the closets and cupboards, look under the beds
because you never can tell. There might just be a grim on
running your emotions. Happy holidays from the Shadows

(21:27):
podcast folks. Thank you once again for joining
us. Check us out on Instagram and
Facebook folks. We will see you next week here
on another episode of the Shadows Podcast.

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