August 14, 2025 • 29 mins
Recorded live at PCA America’s 2025 National Conference in Portland, this episode of The Shift: Voices of Prevention features the Strengthened by Prevention panel, a powerful group of leaders, advocates, and storytellers who remind us what prevention looks like in real life.
Panelists Keri Hope Richmond, Camille Idedevo, Kali Thorne Ladd, Elayna Fernández and moderator Habeebah Rasheed Grimes share deeply personal stories of how early support, community care, and safe relationships changed their lives and the lives of those around them. From the protective power of Head Start and mental health services, to the ministry of presence in moments of crisis, the conversation highlights why prevention must be centered in every system, policy, and community.
Together, they call for a future where children are at the center, relationships are honored, and healing is collective. As one panelist put it, “Safe people save people.”
Tune in for a heartfelt discussion on empathy, healing, and why prevention is not only possible—it’s powerful.
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UNKNOWN (00:01):
you
SPEAKER_02 (00:10):
This is The Shift, Voices of Prevention, a podcast
from Prevent Child AbuseAmerica, where we explore bold
ideas, cultural change, and whatit truly means to support
children and families.
Join us to change the narrativeone conversation at a time.
Hello and welcome to The Shift,Voices of Prevention, recording
live from PCA America's 2025National Conference in Portland,
(00:32):
Oregon.
I'm Nathan Fink, and today we'reexcited to be joined by the PCA
America Strengthened byPrevention panel, who helped us
close out the conference, andI'm going to pass it around so
we can introduce ourselves.
SPEAKER_00 (00:43):
Hello, everyone.
My name is Keri Hope Richman.
I'm a policy advocate advocatingfor stronger children and
families policies.
I am a storyteller and I'm ayoga teacher.
SPEAKER_03 (00:54):
My name is Habiba Rasheed Grimes.
I'll admit I'm in a moment oftransition as I think about who
am I.
So first of all, I am a mom totwo beautiful little boys.
And I've spent over 25 yearsworking with young people with
complex mental health anddevelopmental needs and have
recently made a shift towardreally leaning full time into
supporting organizations andyoung people with a trauma
(01:17):
informed and healing centeredperspective outside of an
organization.
So I'm stepping into theconsultancy space and continuing
my work around advocacy foryouth mental health.
SPEAKER_05 (01:29):
Hey, everybody.
Camille Idedevo.
I am with the 1803 Fund, servingas the Director of Community
Strategy and Evaluation.
We are a black investment fundlocated in Portland, Oregon, and
our entire goal is to growrooted and prosperous life for
the city, particularly for blackfamilies and children.
SPEAKER_06 (01:50):
My name is Kelly Thorne Ladd, and I have the
privilege of serving as the CEOof the Children's Institute.
I consider myself a socialentrepreneur focused on children
and love and belonging.
I'm also a mom of two amazingteenagers, and I love what I do
every day.
(02:11):
Well, not every day.
Most days.
SPEAKER_01 (02:15):
I love that.
My name is Elaina Fernandez, andI am the founder of the Positive
Mom blog.
And I am a proud mom of fourdaughters.
They are 22, 21, 11, and 5.
And my purpose is to help...
moms break cycles, find peace,and feel whole.
(02:37):
And I do that through the powerof storytelling and just
amplifying voices so that peoplecan feel seen, safe, and
supported.
SPEAKER_02 (02:47):
Well, I'm glad we have some parents in the room
because I've got two young onesmyself, seven and nine.
So I wish this were a podcastwhere I could just ask you
questions about that.
We've been talking about primaryprevention for decades, right?
The programs, the strategies,the policies that support it.
And as Dr.
Perry said, we're pretty much inagreement around these needs.
And yet I'm not convinced thatas a society, we truly empathize
(03:12):
with the thing that needs tohappen.
There's this disconnect.
So I wanted to pose thisquestion When you look at your
life, can you describe a momentwhere primary prevention was
activated for you or someone youknew?
SPEAKER_03 (03:29):
Yeah, if I may jump in here, because there's an
important aspect of my identitythat I didn't speak to, and
that's my role as a board memberwith Prevent Child Abuse
America.
And when that invitation camethrough, I had to pause and
think about, like, is this theright space for me?
Because adolescents are my jam.
I love some conduct-issuedadolescents.
(03:49):
You got some challenges that areacting out.
I'm here to support you.
And young children were folksthat I I saw other experts being
much more confident in serving.
And I had to think about like,why would I step into this
space?
And it's the lived experience.
It's understanding how abuse andneglect show up in families, the
(04:14):
systemic and structural forcesthat create conditions for that,
but also how prevention, thingslike Head Start that changed my
own life, things like wraparoundservices that I saw activating
for young people in the workthat I did that really helped me
know this is the right space.
And I have a voice and aperspective that could be
valuable to bring throughleading around early prevention
(04:38):
work.
SPEAKER_00 (04:39):
I think for me, I also have an identity I didn't
speak to, which is I have livedexperience having been in foster
care and seen the failure toprevent foster care.
And then I was reunified and Isaw, again, the failure to
provide supportive services tofamilies to successfully
reunify.
And then I was adopted and myadoption dissolved and I saw the
(05:01):
failure to support adoptivefamilies.
So I really have seen, you know,what happens when you don't have
primary prevention and when youwait until the bridge is
collapsing And it is soimportant, I think, to have
people who show up with stormsupplies before there's ever a
storm warning, right?
To show up to check that thebridge is safe before we're ever
(05:22):
collapsing, right?
And so for me, I think that hasshown up in my life as a young
adult before I'm having my ownfamily as mental health
supports.
And there is an incredibleorganization that I want to flag
called A Home Within, and theyprovide free mental health care
to anyone who spent one day infoster care.
That is, to me, primaryprevention.
(05:42):
You are providing those mentalhealth supports up front,
helping people heal so that theycan go into parenthood, feeling
safe and secure and regulated toshow up and be so present for
their kids.
And that is what we need.
SPEAKER_05 (05:56):
I think prevention has changed the trajectory of my
own life personally.
So I am somebody who went fromhaving stable housing to not.
I'm somebody who suffered withmental health challenges as a
young person.
I'm somebody who school was myrefuge.
And so between the educationsystem itself and having
(06:19):
educators who made my successtheir personal mission from
having church mothers pull up tomy house with food boxes or a
godmother that saw me in thestreet at the time of day that I
wasn't supposed to be there andwaited in her car and flashed
the lights until I came out.
There were moments in my ownstory that had it not been for
(06:44):
the people who made those earlyinvestments, I couldn't say with
confidence that I'd be sittinghere today.
SPEAKER_06 (06:50):
And I think I would say, and I shared a little bit
of this earlier, that for me,primary prevention was my family
and the care and connectedness.
They rooted me in who I was, myidentity, in a world that
stripped that away, a world thattold me all we were were slaves.
And it was always a verydeficit-based lens through which
my people, my ancestors, wereviewed.
(07:12):
And I had a counter-narrativealways in my home, a
counterfactual.
And it was that counterfactual,along with just effusive love,
and belonging.
And my parents both grew up witha lot of ACEs and overcame a
lot.
But they created this bubble oflove that I felt safe in.
And I think part of why I do thework I do is I recognize that
(07:33):
schools have the opportunity toharm or to heal.
And too many of our schools aredehumanizing of children.
They are not seeing children.
And sometimes they are, and it'sradically transformative.
And so part of my goal is how dowe make all schools places where
children are healed and notharmed?
Where people are seen and valuedand we re-humanize children, not
(07:54):
dehumanize them.
For me, most of my educationalexperience was a dehumanizing
one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:00):
Wow.
Yeah, I agree wholeheartedlywith all of that was shared.
And I want to echo that becausefor me, growing up, I didn't
have...
really a lot of resourcesgrowing up in a slum and having
no access to medical andsanitary conditions in which a
(08:20):
child should live.
But also when I went to school,I felt seen by some of my
teachers and that made a hugedifference in how I saw myself
because they didn't focus on mypast or my circumstances, but
they focused on my potential andmy possibilities.
And moving fast forward toliving in the United States, I
(08:45):
experienced homelessness with mychildren.
I was able to see the differencethat it makes when you have
access to support.
And even as we lifted ourselvesout of poverty, feeling alone
and feeling that there arepolicies in place that can help
you as an immigrant especially,but also the difference that it
(09:08):
makes when it is there.
the tax credits or the HeadStart programs like Habiba said.
So those systems really help youfeel more hope and that it is
possible sometime because whenwe feel that hope that
prevention or that change ispossible, then we are preventing
(09:30):
abuse and neglect and adversityfor future generations.
SPEAKER_02 (09:37):
Right.
I want to pick up on thatbecause I think we sometimes
look at services as being thesesilos, right?
But we don't exist in one thingever.
We are existing always betweenthings, right?
So it's like this glue betweendifferent, you know, either it's
healthcare, it's, you know,finances, either it's school,
(09:58):
there's, and it's, that's thething, the stuff that connects
us.
And Habiba, you said somethingreally interesting when we were
planning for this on that Zoomcall about your commitment or
reaffirming your commitment tothe future.
And I'm not sure you rememberthat, but I was like, write that
down.
Because the question for me is,what does it take?
(10:21):
What does it take to actuallycommit to a future?
SPEAKER_06 (10:25):
I think committing to the future is centering
children in all of our systems,in all of our society.
We in the United States have avery adult-centered system.
world and we there are othercountries that send our children
and people often quote theMaasai tribe who ask and how are
the children because they knowthat how you're doing as a
(10:46):
society is dependent on how thechildren are doing and I would
say we do not do that at all anduntil we send our children in
our all of our systems healthsystems human services mental
health education Because eveneducation is sometimes more
adult-centered thanchild-centered.
We are not going to see thefuture that I think we deserve
and hope for for the nextgeneration.
SPEAKER_00 (11:07):
Yeah, it reminds me of the quote, it's easier to
build a strong child than repaira broken man.
I'm not sure that's exactly it.
But to that point, that reallyinvesting in children and
showing up, like it takes avillage to raise a child.
But I think that in order to getthere, we have to get rid of the
individualistic thinking thatlike parents can do it alone.
(11:29):
They can't.
And that's where kids becomecollateral damage is that
there's so much from someonewho's not even a parent.
I just see all of shame thatgets put on parents and so much
weight on parents.
And again, I'm not even a parentand I'm recognizing this.
And I just I think that's sowrong that, you know, parents
should feel that they can trustif their child is in the street
(11:51):
at the hours they shouldn't be,that someone is going to step in
and show up and that there islike that community of care.
And I'll just share a few yearsago, I was living in Mexico and
this this building I was livingin, a woman who cleaned there,
she brought her baby, her herthree-month-old baby to work
every day and the car seat wouldjust move around this building
(12:14):
and she would be you know on thefirst floor and the car seat
would be on the second floor andI'm like in the U.S.
there would have already been aCPS call but the beauty of it
was everyone that worked in thisbuilding anytime the baby was
crying and the mom was you knowin a room they would go and
respond and pick up the baby andso I started doing it and I
started just holding the babyand rocking the baby back to
sleep and it was so healing forme to be a part of caring for a
(12:38):
child, even though I'm not amother.
And, you know, it created thisshared responsibility in this
space that that is the vision.
That is the hope that we canleave a child in a car seat
without fear that someone'sgoing to come snatch them or do
something to them, you know?
Yeah, and to support the motherin that.
How beautiful.
SPEAKER_05 (12:58):
Yeah, I would say part of it is also co-creating
said vision and then organizingpeople to get in their lane.
So part of what I spoke toearlier is how these sorts of
justice related or child centricfutures, they're going to take
all of us.
Right.
And I think it's sometimes a copout when people say, well,
(13:22):
that's not really my thing.
I wasn't at the table.
And so I think part of it issetting the table.
with a shared intention, sharedoutcomes, shared things that
we're looking towards, and thenorganizing people to do what
they do best to make that thinga reality.
So I think that's part of how weget to this future.
SPEAKER_03 (13:42):
Yeah, you know, what comes up for me is like
decommodifying humanity.
You know, part of why we don'tvalue children is they don't
produce anything for this systemof things.
And so...
they are not important.
They don't produce anything.
They are really consumers.
and we devalue them for thosereasons.
(14:04):
And so in my mind, affirming thefuture being possible is about
decommodifying all of our liveson this planet.
We're not here to produce for asystem.
We're not here to add value bycreating dollars and wealth that
then gets hoarded away from thepeople who produce it.
We're here to live in communityand be in community.
(14:26):
And so the future must beintergenerational.
It must be healable.
And it must be decommodified.
SPEAKER_01 (14:33):
Yeah.
I also just love what you saidabout children not being safe,
because I think that it's aboutcreating safe spaces.
And I always say that safepeople save people.
Because the thing is that whenwe create spaces that are safe
(14:57):
for anyone, and that means safefor you to be your whole self,
that means for you to be safe toheal, safe to feel an emotion,
safe to, like you said, hold ababy because you are a safe
person that can come up and stepup to whatever, rise to the
(15:17):
occasion.
But what I think is that a safespace is a trauma-informed
space.
It is a trauma-sensitive space.
So when we recognize the realitythat we all experience trauma,
whether it's big T, small t, weneed to step away from
comparative suffering andunderstand that we are united
(15:40):
through a common thread of pain,whether it's from our ancestors
that has been passed down, or ithas been from the situation that
we're living today, and to focuson as we unite, stay connected,
and provide a safe space foreach other, then those
generations can heal over time.
SPEAKER_02 (16:02):
What I wanted to talk about was the fact that
this decommodifying, because inour conversation with both Ruth
Perry and Dr.
Nadine Burke Harris, we werereally talking about the fact
that, wait a minute, people livehere.
We live here.
But we've got this idea ofsystems and this dehumanizing
(16:23):
kind of structures.
And so the question is, we'vejust laid out a future that I
say, yes, yes, yes, yes,absolutely.
Any pieces of advice or actionsthat you would say could get us
closer to the future that youimagine?
SPEAKER_01 (16:42):
I'm very passionate about this because...
So when I was 19 years old, Iboarded this public
transportation car, or so Ithought, and was kidnapped.
And during this time, it was themost dehumanizing experience
that I have lived.
(17:03):
And this is coming from someonewho at 15 already had a nine
ACEs score.
And when I was able to escapethis situation, I found myself
just feeling really ashamed,feeling really hopeless.
(17:23):
And I had an experience thatcompletely transformed me that I
vowed to share with everyone,which is I was walking to our
gas station and I saw thisbeautiful woman walk toward me.
And growing up in a slum, therewas classism and racism and
colorism and all kinds of ismsthat separated us.
(17:46):
So when I saw her, I felt thatshe was going to come and shame
me or maybe humiliate me becauseshe looked so fancy.
She was so beautiful.
She was dressed like, if you'veseen the cover of Breakfast at
Tiffany's, that's what shelooked like.
But when she approached me, shehad some kind of gentleman's
(18:06):
coat and she wrapped it aroundme and she just held me with the
most motherly, nurturing, hugthat I had ever felt and that
was you know Carrie was talkingabout how you're not a mother
but you mothered somebody andthis was the first time I was
actually mothered and I felt themistrust and the separation
(18:33):
disappear and she just felt likea safe space where I felt
connected and enveloped in loveand And I feel that what she
gave me that day is somethingthat has kept me here.
Because after that, Iexperienced all of this
(18:54):
invalidation.
And this is my point of what wecan do every day.
She provided three things that Isay we can all provide this on a
daily basis to everyone.
One was silence.
She didn't ask.
She didn't say.
She didn't assure me.
She didn't give me advice.
She didn't give me affirmation.
(19:14):
She just simply stayed silent sothat I could process what was
going through so I could feelher love and care.
Then she provided safety.
I finally let myself cry.
And I just felt so safe to justfeel what I was feeling without
having to be strong, which issomething that I had to be on a
(19:36):
daily basis for.
or everyone around me had towear this mask of strength that
I really didn't feel was real.
And then the third thing wasthat she gave me space.
safety, silence, and space.
And I call this the ministry ofpresence.
And we can do that for everyonearound us.
And as I went through themedical system, because then the
(20:00):
paramedics and the police showedup, and I went through the
judicial system, what happens isthat I was invalidated.
And people kept just sayingthings like, it's going to be
okay.
Everything happens for a reason.
What doesn't kill you makes youstronger.
And that motivation was killingme.
me because I felt so alone anddisconnected from everyone.
(20:22):
But her validating touch wasjust something that helped me
through all of that process andthat I think every one of us can
provide to someone who's inpain.
So what I always say whensomeone's in deep pain, don't be
positive, be present.
SPEAKER_00 (20:43):
I think this is spot on.
And there is, I think it's ShiaLaBeouf talks about this, that
when he was struggling withaddiction, that somebody gave
him the ministry of presence andthat made all the difference.
And I think that in our planetor universe that we currently
live in, we get so tied up withlabels.
And so there are people who aredo-gooders who come on podcasts
(21:08):
and introduce themselves asadvocates.
And then I meet people And theysay, well, I don't know what my
purpose is in life.
You know, I want to findsomething like you're doing,
like you're making a differencefor kids.
And I'm like, yeah, but so canyou.
You know, you don't have to be amother to nurture.
So can you.
And you don't have to wear alabel as advocate or
philanthropist or teacher tomake a difference in a child's
(21:31):
life, to make a difference inyour community, to make a
difference for the world.
And so I would say is if we wantto actualize that future, stop
focusing on the labels.
The label is human.
The label is we.
are living, we have a sharedcommitment to one another if we
want to have an enjoyable lifetogether.
And I think that for the peoplewho are searching for purpose,
(21:54):
let your purpose be presence.
Let your purpose be I'm rootingfor my friends.
I'm showing up for my neighbors.
I know my barista's name becauseI am choosing to be in
relationship.
And to Bruce Perry's point, toNadine Burke Harris's point, to
all of these leading experts,they're drilling it down to the
simplicity of relationship.
(22:14):
And that's what we keepforgetting, that it is a
simplicity of being inrelationship.
So focus on that if you want tomake a difference in the world.
SPEAKER_06 (22:23):
There's a South African term.
I had the privilege of living inSouth Africa for a couple of
years, and there's a term,Ubuntu, which is I am who I am
because of who we all are, thatmy humanity is tied up in yours.
And I think this idea issomething that we all need to
hold to both of your points.
And when you said the future isintergenerational, I think
across this generation, sinceliving with the spirit of Ubuntu
(22:46):
across generations and seeingone another as fully human and
recognizing that my future istied up in
SPEAKER_03 (22:53):
Absolutely.
What I will add is we need toget in right relationship.
We need to get in rightrelationship with one another as
human beings on this planet.
And we need to get in rightrelationship with the planet,
right?
And the life that exists beyondhuman life on the planet.
(23:15):
I have a dear friend andcolleague who emphasizes that we
need to decenter human beings.
and our priorities and needs andfigure out how we reconnect to
the planet in a way that honorsthe reciprocity that's necessary
for all of us to survive.
In order to get a rightrelationship, you have to
acknowledge harm and engage inrepair.
(23:36):
And I really struggle to see howwe really advance well-being for
all without addressing thoseoriginal sins, commodification
of literal human beings throughchattel slavery and the
iteration on that theme ofchattel slavery for centuries
(23:57):
and now several generations.
And we have to get into rightrelationship and repair with the
indigenous communities that werestewards of the land we stand on
and that others stand on aroundthe world who understood what
right relationship would looklike, but have been displaced
from that soil and displacedfrom the cultural traditions
(24:20):
that honored and acknowledgedand celebrated the
interrelationship andinterdependence of human beings
with life on the planet.
So I think that we absolutelyneed to be in relationship, but
I can't be in relationshipwithout an acknowledgement of
harm that's occurred to me as anindividual at the interpersonal
level, without anacknowledgement of harm that
(24:41):
happens at the familial or thecommunal level, and then the
collective level, and then theWe got to figure this out.
We don't know because we haven'ttried it.
We don't know what repair mightlook like.
So let's get into the dreamspace.
Let's get into our imaginativespace and discern.
What does it look like to healthe kind of harm that's been
(25:03):
occurring for generations onthis planet?
SPEAKER_02 (25:07):
We've talked about a lot of things here.
We've had a lot of discussions.
How do we wrap this up?
Where do we end this amazingconference?
What should we do with all this?
SPEAKER_03 (25:16):
I think we enter into the space of gratitude.
What PCA America creates bybringing folks into community
like this is the power ofhealing and relationship and the
work that's happening inprevention.
For folks who are out thereoftentimes feeling like they're
on an island, they're isolated,they're lost, There isn't
(25:38):
community to support them.
There isn't a community oflearning.
So I just want to share my deepappreciation for this
organization and its leadership,my fellow board members who take
a risk to create the space,invest deeply to create the
space.
And being here with everyonejust demonstrates so fully how
(25:59):
important it is that we gathertogether.
that we connect with oneanother, particularly when we're
feeling lonely or isolated inthe work of supporting other
living beings.
I have
SPEAKER_06 (26:07):
gratitude for all of you.
It's a blessing to meet all ofyou, to be in space.
Yeah, gratitude for this paneland this space and being able to
be part of it.
SPEAKER_01 (26:19):
Yeah, I want to echo that because the energy that I
have felt here in this spaceplace with everyone as we
danced, as we talked, as we atetogether, as we learned from
each other and in our panel thatwas beautifully moderated.
(26:43):
And thank you also for providingthis platform for us to amplify
our voices.
And I feel that that's our mostpowerful tool is not only to
raise our voices for prevention,but also raise our voices to
share our stories of hope thatthere is a before and after and
(27:04):
while I don't believe in theword overcome as a whole I feel
that we're overcoming togetherand that this is what what it
means to have a space where wecan feel the power fuel the
power of overcoming together andjust to see the beautiful people
(27:24):
who are making change, those arethe news that we need to spread,
that we are not alone, thatthere are beautiful people
educating themselves, gettingmore tools, feeling stronger
each day so that they can dolife-changing work.
And we know that that change ispossible because we feel it.
(27:45):
It's palpable.
I feel it right now.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (27:48):
I want to go back to a comment because your comments
made me think that when I saidsimplicity of relationships, I
certainly don't want to passover that the relationships also
are complicated and that ourshared humanity is complicated
because there has been a lot ofhurt.
But I do believe in healing andI do believe that there is hope
(28:12):
that we can repair relationshipsand that we can be better for
it.
And so I'm grateful.
that Prevent Child Abuse Americahas brought us all together this
week to build relationships withpeople who have that shared
heart, who have that sharedvision, who also can see each
other in a way that the peoplewho show up to this conference,
(28:36):
we are not afraid of darkness.
We're running headfirst into it.
And we're not afraid to sit inthat space where a lot of people
are uncomfortable there.
And so the space to be inrelationship with like-minded
people professionals andadvocates and and cares it is
healing and so I want to justthank the organization for
creating that space and alsothank the organization for such
(29:00):
an emphasis on lived experiencefor recognizing that we are not
just professionals we are notjust experts of data and of
research and of what are thebest practices we are the
experts of our experience of ourhuman experience and that is
just as critically important tounderstand Thank
SPEAKER_02 (29:26):
you so much for coming on the show.
Thank you for being part of thispanel.
Thank you for making it all theway to Portland for the 2025 PCA
America National Conference.
It is an absolute pleasure tohave you here.
SPEAKER_04 (29:38):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (29:41):
And you can invite Upstream Solutions into your
feed by subscribing to The ShiftVoices of Prevention today.
Join us to create an ecosystemwhere children and families live
purposeful and happy lives withhope for the future.
you
SPEAKER_02 (00:10):
This is The Shift, Voices of Prevention, a podcast
from Prevent Child AbuseAmerica, where we explore bold
ideas, cultural change, and whatit truly means to support
children and families.
Join us to change the narrativeone conversation at a time.
Hello and welcome to The Shift,Voices of Prevention, recording
live from PCA America's 2025National Conference in Portland,
(00:32):
Oregon.
I'm Nathan Fink, and today we'reexcited to be joined by the PCA
America Strengthened byPrevention panel, who helped us
close out the conference, andI'm going to pass it around so
we can introduce ourselves.
SPEAKER_00 (00:43):
Hello, everyone.
My name is Keri Hope Richman.
I'm a policy advocate advocatingfor stronger children and
families policies.
I am a storyteller and I'm ayoga teacher.
SPEAKER_03 (00:54):
My name is Habiba Rasheed Grimes.
I'll admit I'm in a moment oftransition as I think about who
am I.
So first of all, I am a mom totwo beautiful little boys.
And I've spent over 25 yearsworking with young people with
complex mental health anddevelopmental needs and have
recently made a shift towardreally leaning full time into
supporting organizations andyoung people with a trauma
(01:17):
informed and healing centeredperspective outside of an
organization.
So I'm stepping into theconsultancy space and continuing
my work around advocacy foryouth mental health.
SPEAKER_05 (01:29):
Hey, everybody.
Camille Idedevo.
I am with the 1803 Fund, servingas the Director of Community
Strategy and Evaluation.
We are a black investment fundlocated in Portland, Oregon, and
our entire goal is to growrooted and prosperous life for
the city, particularly for blackfamilies and children.
SPEAKER_06 (01:50):
My name is Kelly Thorne Ladd, and I have the
privilege of serving as the CEOof the Children's Institute.
I consider myself a socialentrepreneur focused on children
and love and belonging.
I'm also a mom of two amazingteenagers, and I love what I do
every day.
(02:11):
Well, not every day.
Most days.
SPEAKER_01 (02:15):
I love that.
My name is Elaina Fernandez, andI am the founder of the Positive
Mom blog.
And I am a proud mom of fourdaughters.
They are 22, 21, 11, and 5.
And my purpose is to help...
moms break cycles, find peace,and feel whole.
(02:37):
And I do that through the powerof storytelling and just
amplifying voices so that peoplecan feel seen, safe, and
supported.
SPEAKER_02 (02:47):
Well, I'm glad we have some parents in the room
because I've got two young onesmyself, seven and nine.
So I wish this were a podcastwhere I could just ask you
questions about that.
We've been talking about primaryprevention for decades, right?
The programs, the strategies,the policies that support it.
And as Dr.
Perry said, we're pretty much inagreement around these needs.
And yet I'm not convinced thatas a society, we truly empathize
(03:12):
with the thing that needs tohappen.
There's this disconnect.
So I wanted to pose thisquestion When you look at your
life, can you describe a momentwhere primary prevention was
activated for you or someone youknew?
SPEAKER_03 (03:29):
Yeah, if I may jump in here, because there's an
important aspect of my identitythat I didn't speak to, and
that's my role as a board memberwith Prevent Child Abuse
America.
And when that invitation camethrough, I had to pause and
think about, like, is this theright space for me?
Because adolescents are my jam.
I love some conduct-issuedadolescents.
(03:49):
You got some challenges that areacting out.
I'm here to support you.
And young children were folksthat I I saw other experts being
much more confident in serving.
And I had to think about like,why would I step into this
space?
And it's the lived experience.
It's understanding how abuse andneglect show up in families, the
(04:14):
systemic and structural forcesthat create conditions for that,
but also how prevention, thingslike Head Start that changed my
own life, things like wraparoundservices that I saw activating
for young people in the workthat I did that really helped me
know this is the right space.
And I have a voice and aperspective that could be
valuable to bring throughleading around early prevention
(04:38):
work.
SPEAKER_00 (04:39):
I think for me, I also have an identity I didn't
speak to, which is I have livedexperience having been in foster
care and seen the failure toprevent foster care.
And then I was reunified and Isaw, again, the failure to
provide supportive services tofamilies to successfully
reunify.
And then I was adopted and myadoption dissolved and I saw the
(05:01):
failure to support adoptivefamilies.
So I really have seen, you know,what happens when you don't have
primary prevention and when youwait until the bridge is
collapsing And it is soimportant, I think, to have
people who show up with stormsupplies before there's ever a
storm warning, right?
To show up to check that thebridge is safe before we're ever
(05:22):
collapsing, right?
And so for me, I think that hasshown up in my life as a young
adult before I'm having my ownfamily as mental health
supports.
And there is an incredibleorganization that I want to flag
called A Home Within, and theyprovide free mental health care
to anyone who spent one day infoster care.
That is, to me, primaryprevention.
(05:42):
You are providing those mentalhealth supports up front,
helping people heal so that theycan go into parenthood, feeling
safe and secure and regulated toshow up and be so present for
their kids.
And that is what we need.
SPEAKER_05 (05:56):
I think prevention has changed the trajectory of my
own life personally.
So I am somebody who went fromhaving stable housing to not.
I'm somebody who suffered withmental health challenges as a
young person.
I'm somebody who school was myrefuge.
And so between the educationsystem itself and having
(06:19):
educators who made my successtheir personal mission from
having church mothers pull up tomy house with food boxes or a
godmother that saw me in thestreet at the time of day that I
wasn't supposed to be there andwaited in her car and flashed
the lights until I came out.
There were moments in my ownstory that had it not been for
(06:44):
the people who made those earlyinvestments, I couldn't say with
confidence that I'd be sittinghere today.
SPEAKER_06 (06:50):
And I think I would say, and I shared a little bit
of this earlier, that for me,primary prevention was my family
and the care and connectedness.
They rooted me in who I was, myidentity, in a world that
stripped that away, a world thattold me all we were were slaves.
And it was always a verydeficit-based lens through which
my people, my ancestors, wereviewed.
(07:12):
And I had a counter-narrativealways in my home, a
counterfactual.
And it was that counterfactual,along with just effusive love,
and belonging.
And my parents both grew up witha lot of ACEs and overcame a
lot.
But they created this bubble oflove that I felt safe in.
And I think part of why I do thework I do is I recognize that
(07:33):
schools have the opportunity toharm or to heal.
And too many of our schools aredehumanizing of children.
They are not seeing children.
And sometimes they are, and it'sradically transformative.
And so part of my goal is how dowe make all schools places where
children are healed and notharmed?
Where people are seen and valuedand we re-humanize children, not
(07:54):
dehumanize them.
For me, most of my educationalexperience was a dehumanizing
one.
SPEAKER_01 (08:00):
Wow.
Yeah, I agree wholeheartedlywith all of that was shared.
And I want to echo that becausefor me, growing up, I didn't
have...
really a lot of resourcesgrowing up in a slum and having
no access to medical andsanitary conditions in which a
(08:20):
child should live.
But also when I went to school,I felt seen by some of my
teachers and that made a hugedifference in how I saw myself
because they didn't focus on mypast or my circumstances, but
they focused on my potential andmy possibilities.
And moving fast forward toliving in the United States, I
(08:45):
experienced homelessness with mychildren.
I was able to see the differencethat it makes when you have
access to support.
And even as we lifted ourselvesout of poverty, feeling alone
and feeling that there arepolicies in place that can help
you as an immigrant especially,but also the difference that it
(09:08):
makes when it is there.
the tax credits or the HeadStart programs like Habiba said.
So those systems really help youfeel more hope and that it is
possible sometime because whenwe feel that hope that
prevention or that change ispossible, then we are preventing
(09:30):
abuse and neglect and adversityfor future generations.
SPEAKER_02 (09:37):
Right.
I want to pick up on thatbecause I think we sometimes
look at services as being thesesilos, right?
But we don't exist in one thingever.
We are existing always betweenthings, right?
So it's like this glue betweendifferent, you know, either it's
healthcare, it's, you know,finances, either it's school,
(09:58):
there's, and it's, that's thething, the stuff that connects
us.
And Habiba, you said somethingreally interesting when we were
planning for this on that Zoomcall about your commitment or
reaffirming your commitment tothe future.
And I'm not sure you rememberthat, but I was like, write that
down.
Because the question for me is,what does it take?
(10:21):
What does it take to actuallycommit to a future?
SPEAKER_06 (10:25):
I think committing to the future is centering
children in all of our systems,in all of our society.
We in the United States have avery adult-centered system.
world and we there are othercountries that send our children
and people often quote theMaasai tribe who ask and how are
the children because they knowthat how you're doing as a
(10:46):
society is dependent on how thechildren are doing and I would
say we do not do that at all anduntil we send our children in
our all of our systems healthsystems human services mental
health education Because eveneducation is sometimes more
adult-centered thanchild-centered.
We are not going to see thefuture that I think we deserve
and hope for for the nextgeneration.
SPEAKER_00 (11:07):
Yeah, it reminds me of the quote, it's easier to
build a strong child than repaira broken man.
I'm not sure that's exactly it.
But to that point, that reallyinvesting in children and
showing up, like it takes avillage to raise a child.
But I think that in order to getthere, we have to get rid of the
individualistic thinking thatlike parents can do it alone.
(11:29):
They can't.
And that's where kids becomecollateral damage is that
there's so much from someonewho's not even a parent.
I just see all of shame thatgets put on parents and so much
weight on parents.
And again, I'm not even a parentand I'm recognizing this.
And I just I think that's sowrong that, you know, parents
should feel that they can trustif their child is in the street
(11:51):
at the hours they shouldn't be,that someone is going to step in
and show up and that there islike that community of care.
And I'll just share a few yearsago, I was living in Mexico and
this this building I was livingin, a woman who cleaned there,
she brought her baby, her herthree-month-old baby to work
every day and the car seat wouldjust move around this building
(12:14):
and she would be you know on thefirst floor and the car seat
would be on the second floor andI'm like in the U.S.
there would have already been aCPS call but the beauty of it
was everyone that worked in thisbuilding anytime the baby was
crying and the mom was you knowin a room they would go and
respond and pick up the baby andso I started doing it and I
started just holding the babyand rocking the baby back to
sleep and it was so healing forme to be a part of caring for a
(12:38):
child, even though I'm not amother.
And, you know, it created thisshared responsibility in this
space that that is the vision.
That is the hope that we canleave a child in a car seat
without fear that someone'sgoing to come snatch them or do
something to them, you know?
Yeah, and to support the motherin that.
How beautiful.
SPEAKER_05 (12:58):
Yeah, I would say part of it is also co-creating
said vision and then organizingpeople to get in their lane.
So part of what I spoke toearlier is how these sorts of
justice related or child centricfutures, they're going to take
all of us.
Right.
And I think it's sometimes a copout when people say, well,
(13:22):
that's not really my thing.
I wasn't at the table.
And so I think part of it issetting the table.
with a shared intention, sharedoutcomes, shared things that
we're looking towards, and thenorganizing people to do what
they do best to make that thinga reality.
So I think that's part of how weget to this future.
SPEAKER_03 (13:42):
Yeah, you know, what comes up for me is like
decommodifying humanity.
You know, part of why we don'tvalue children is they don't
produce anything for this systemof things.
And so...
they are not important.
They don't produce anything.
They are really consumers.
and we devalue them for thosereasons.
(14:04):
And so in my mind, affirming thefuture being possible is about
decommodifying all of our liveson this planet.
We're not here to produce for asystem.
We're not here to add value bycreating dollars and wealth that
then gets hoarded away from thepeople who produce it.
We're here to live in communityand be in community.
(14:26):
And so the future must beintergenerational.
It must be healable.
And it must be decommodified.
SPEAKER_01 (14:33):
Yeah.
I also just love what you saidabout children not being safe,
because I think that it's aboutcreating safe spaces.
And I always say that safepeople save people.
Because the thing is that whenwe create spaces that are safe
(14:57):
for anyone, and that means safefor you to be your whole self,
that means for you to be safe toheal, safe to feel an emotion,
safe to, like you said, hold ababy because you are a safe
person that can come up and stepup to whatever, rise to the
(15:17):
occasion.
But what I think is that a safespace is a trauma-informed
space.
It is a trauma-sensitive space.
So when we recognize the realitythat we all experience trauma,
whether it's big T, small t, weneed to step away from
comparative suffering andunderstand that we are united
(15:40):
through a common thread of pain,whether it's from our ancestors
that has been passed down, or ithas been from the situation that
we're living today, and to focuson as we unite, stay connected,
and provide a safe space foreach other, then those
generations can heal over time.
SPEAKER_02 (16:02):
What I wanted to talk about was the fact that
this decommodifying, because inour conversation with both Ruth
Perry and Dr.
Nadine Burke Harris, we werereally talking about the fact
that, wait a minute, people livehere.
We live here.
But we've got this idea ofsystems and this dehumanizing
(16:23):
kind of structures.
And so the question is, we'vejust laid out a future that I
say, yes, yes, yes, yes,absolutely.
Any pieces of advice or actionsthat you would say could get us
closer to the future that youimagine?
SPEAKER_01 (16:42):
I'm very passionate about this because...
So when I was 19 years old, Iboarded this public
transportation car, or so Ithought, and was kidnapped.
And during this time, it was themost dehumanizing experience
that I have lived.
(17:03):
And this is coming from someonewho at 15 already had a nine
ACEs score.
And when I was able to escapethis situation, I found myself
just feeling really ashamed,feeling really hopeless.
(17:23):
And I had an experience thatcompletely transformed me that I
vowed to share with everyone,which is I was walking to our
gas station and I saw thisbeautiful woman walk toward me.
And growing up in a slum, therewas classism and racism and
colorism and all kinds of ismsthat separated us.
(17:46):
So when I saw her, I felt thatshe was going to come and shame
me or maybe humiliate me becauseshe looked so fancy.
She was so beautiful.
She was dressed like, if you'veseen the cover of Breakfast at
Tiffany's, that's what shelooked like.
But when she approached me, shehad some kind of gentleman's
(18:06):
coat and she wrapped it aroundme and she just held me with the
most motherly, nurturing, hugthat I had ever felt and that
was you know Carrie was talkingabout how you're not a mother
but you mothered somebody andthis was the first time I was
actually mothered and I felt themistrust and the separation
(18:33):
disappear and she just felt likea safe space where I felt
connected and enveloped in loveand And I feel that what she
gave me that day is somethingthat has kept me here.
Because after that, Iexperienced all of this
(18:54):
invalidation.
And this is my point of what wecan do every day.
She provided three things that Isay we can all provide this on a
daily basis to everyone.
One was silence.
She didn't ask.
She didn't say.
She didn't assure me.
She didn't give me advice.
She didn't give me affirmation.
(19:14):
She just simply stayed silent sothat I could process what was
going through so I could feelher love and care.
Then she provided safety.
I finally let myself cry.
And I just felt so safe to justfeel what I was feeling without
having to be strong, which issomething that I had to be on a
(19:36):
daily basis for.
or everyone around me had towear this mask of strength that
I really didn't feel was real.
And then the third thing wasthat she gave me space.
safety, silence, and space.
And I call this the ministry ofpresence.
And we can do that for everyonearound us.
And as I went through themedical system, because then the
(20:00):
paramedics and the police showedup, and I went through the
judicial system, what happens isthat I was invalidated.
And people kept just sayingthings like, it's going to be
okay.
Everything happens for a reason.
What doesn't kill you makes youstronger.
And that motivation was killingme.
me because I felt so alone anddisconnected from everyone.
(20:22):
But her validating touch wasjust something that helped me
through all of that process andthat I think every one of us can
provide to someone who's inpain.
So what I always say whensomeone's in deep pain, don't be
positive, be present.
SPEAKER_00 (20:43):
I think this is spot on.
And there is, I think it's ShiaLaBeouf talks about this, that
when he was struggling withaddiction, that somebody gave
him the ministry of presence andthat made all the difference.
And I think that in our planetor universe that we currently
live in, we get so tied up withlabels.
And so there are people who aredo-gooders who come on podcasts
(21:08):
and introduce themselves asadvocates.
And then I meet people And theysay, well, I don't know what my
purpose is in life.
You know, I want to findsomething like you're doing,
like you're making a differencefor kids.
And I'm like, yeah, but so canyou.
You know, you don't have to be amother to nurture.
So can you.
And you don't have to wear alabel as advocate or
philanthropist or teacher tomake a difference in a child's
(21:31):
life, to make a difference inyour community, to make a
difference for the world.
And so I would say is if we wantto actualize that future, stop
focusing on the labels.
The label is human.
The label is we.
are living, we have a sharedcommitment to one another if we
want to have an enjoyable lifetogether.
And I think that for the peoplewho are searching for purpose,
(21:54):
let your purpose be presence.
Let your purpose be I'm rootingfor my friends.
I'm showing up for my neighbors.
I know my barista's name becauseI am choosing to be in
relationship.
And to Bruce Perry's point, toNadine Burke Harris's point, to
all of these leading experts,they're drilling it down to the
simplicity of relationship.
(22:14):
And that's what we keepforgetting, that it is a
simplicity of being inrelationship.
So focus on that if you want tomake a difference in the world.
SPEAKER_06 (22:23):
There's a South African term.
I had the privilege of living inSouth Africa for a couple of
years, and there's a term,Ubuntu, which is I am who I am
because of who we all are, thatmy humanity is tied up in yours.
And I think this idea issomething that we all need to
hold to both of your points.
And when you said the future isintergenerational, I think
across this generation, sinceliving with the spirit of Ubuntu
(22:46):
across generations and seeingone another as fully human and
recognizing that my future istied up in
SPEAKER_03 (22:53):
Absolutely.
What I will add is we need toget in right relationship.
We need to get in rightrelationship with one another as
human beings on this planet.
And we need to get in rightrelationship with the planet,
right?
And the life that exists beyondhuman life on the planet.
(23:15):
I have a dear friend andcolleague who emphasizes that we
need to decenter human beings.
and our priorities and needs andfigure out how we reconnect to
the planet in a way that honorsthe reciprocity that's necessary
for all of us to survive.
In order to get a rightrelationship, you have to
acknowledge harm and engage inrepair.
(23:36):
And I really struggle to see howwe really advance well-being for
all without addressing thoseoriginal sins, commodification
of literal human beings throughchattel slavery and the
iteration on that theme ofchattel slavery for centuries
(23:57):
and now several generations.
And we have to get into rightrelationship and repair with the
indigenous communities that werestewards of the land we stand on
and that others stand on aroundthe world who understood what
right relationship would looklike, but have been displaced
from that soil and displacedfrom the cultural traditions
(24:20):
that honored and acknowledgedand celebrated the
interrelationship andinterdependence of human beings
with life on the planet.
So I think that we absolutelyneed to be in relationship, but
I can't be in relationshipwithout an acknowledgement of
harm that's occurred to me as anindividual at the interpersonal
level, without anacknowledgement of harm that
(24:41):
happens at the familial or thecommunal level, and then the
collective level, and then theWe got to figure this out.
We don't know because we haven'ttried it.
We don't know what repair mightlook like.
So let's get into the dreamspace.
Let's get into our imaginativespace and discern.
What does it look like to healthe kind of harm that's been
(25:03):
occurring for generations onthis planet?
SPEAKER_02 (25:07):
We've talked about a lot of things here.
We've had a lot of discussions.
How do we wrap this up?
Where do we end this amazingconference?
What should we do with all this?
SPEAKER_03 (25:16):
I think we enter into the space of gratitude.
What PCA America creates bybringing folks into community
like this is the power ofhealing and relationship and the
work that's happening inprevention.
For folks who are out thereoftentimes feeling like they're
on an island, they're isolated,they're lost, There isn't
(25:38):
community to support them.
There isn't a community oflearning.
So I just want to share my deepappreciation for this
organization and its leadership,my fellow board members who take
a risk to create the space,invest deeply to create the
space.
And being here with everyonejust demonstrates so fully how
(25:59):
important it is that we gathertogether.
that we connect with oneanother, particularly when we're
feeling lonely or isolated inthe work of supporting other
living beings.
I have
SPEAKER_06 (26:07):
gratitude for all of you.
It's a blessing to meet all ofyou, to be in space.
Yeah, gratitude for this paneland this space and being able to
be part of it.
SPEAKER_01 (26:19):
Yeah, I want to echo that because the energy that I
have felt here in this spaceplace with everyone as we
danced, as we talked, as we atetogether, as we learned from
each other and in our panel thatwas beautifully moderated.
(26:43):
And thank you also for providingthis platform for us to amplify
our voices.
And I feel that that's our mostpowerful tool is not only to
raise our voices for prevention,but also raise our voices to
share our stories of hope thatthere is a before and after and
(27:04):
while I don't believe in theword overcome as a whole I feel
that we're overcoming togetherand that this is what what it
means to have a space where wecan feel the power fuel the
power of overcoming together andjust to see the beautiful people
(27:24):
who are making change, those arethe news that we need to spread,
that we are not alone, thatthere are beautiful people
educating themselves, gettingmore tools, feeling stronger
each day so that they can dolife-changing work.
And we know that that change ispossible because we feel it.
(27:45):
It's palpable.
I feel it right now.
So thank you.
SPEAKER_00 (27:48):
I want to go back to a comment because your comments
made me think that when I saidsimplicity of relationships, I
certainly don't want to passover that the relationships also
are complicated and that ourshared humanity is complicated
because there has been a lot ofhurt.
But I do believe in healing andI do believe that there is hope
(28:12):
that we can repair relationshipsand that we can be better for
it.
And so I'm grateful.
that Prevent Child Abuse Americahas brought us all together this
week to build relationships withpeople who have that shared
heart, who have that sharedvision, who also can see each
other in a way that the peoplewho show up to this conference,
(28:36):
we are not afraid of darkness.
We're running headfirst into it.
And we're not afraid to sit inthat space where a lot of people
are uncomfortable there.
And so the space to be inrelationship with like-minded
people professionals andadvocates and and cares it is
healing and so I want to justthank the organization for
creating that space and alsothank the organization for such
(29:00):
an emphasis on lived experiencefor recognizing that we are not
just professionals we are notjust experts of data and of
research and of what are thebest practices we are the
experts of our experience of ourhuman experience and that is
just as critically important tounderstand Thank
SPEAKER_02 (29:26):
you so much for coming on the show.
Thank you for being part of thispanel.
Thank you for making it all theway to Portland for the 2025 PCA
America National Conference.
It is an absolute pleasure tohave you here.
SPEAKER_04 (29:38):
Thank you.
SPEAKER_02 (29:41):
And you can invite Upstream Solutions into your
feed by subscribing to The ShiftVoices of Prevention today.
Join us to create an ecosystemwhere children and families live
purposeful and happy lives withhope for the future.
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