December 25, 2025 • 20 mins
As we count down the final days of 2025, I want to invite you into a different kind of New Year conversation.
Not about adding more goals.
Not about pushing harder.
But about releasing what no longer belongs with you.
In this episode of The Shiny Minds Show, I’m sharing the three unconscious patterns I see over and over again in human behavior—and in myself—that quietly disconnect us from our truth:
• People-pleasing
• Saying yes when your body is screaming no
• Avoiding the conversations that matter most
These patterns once protected us.
But if we carry them into 2026, they will cost us our self-trust, our energy, and our sovereignty.
In this episode, I guide you through how to recognize these patterns with compassion, how to understand their intention, and how to release them without shame or force—using awareness, willingness, and honest self-connection.
This is not about fixing yourself.
It’s about choosing yourself.
✨ If you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself and enter 2026 grounded, sovereign, and aligned... this episode is for you.
👉 Download my FREE NST Language Audit PDF here to start changing the way you speak to yourself and shape your reality:
https://www.shinyunsal.com/freedom
🔔 Subscribe for weekly conversations on personal growth, nervous system regulation, leadership, and conscious transformation.
-----
Grab your FREE guide to building a six-figure coaching business with Neuro-Shine Technology™
👉🏻 www.shinyunsal.com
🌟 Like • Share • Subscribe • Keep Your Light Shining! 🌟
✨ Thank you for allowing my light into your neurons.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
When the countdown begins for a new year,
we need to look at what to release.
And that's why
we're going to talk about why you need to
stop abandoning yourself in 2006 and how.
Let's begin.
Are you ready to shine?
Come
on.
It's the shiny one.
You got this.
Welcome to the Shiny Minds Show.
(00:20):
Hello everyone.
I am Dr. Shiny. I am
super excited that we are literally in the
official countdown
to wrap up the year of 2025 behind to
welcome the new year with love and
acceptance and abundance and gratitude.
I always take the time at the end of the
(00:42):
year to look at what I have accomplished,
what I have achieved, how I have lived, how I have
showed up,
and
what can I do even better next year?
And
I wanted to take this time to talk about
our patterns,
because
here's the thing.
When we are entering a new year, it is
(01:05):
really not what we are bringing
to add on.
It is more so about what we are not
bringing and what we are releasing.
So think about it.
If you have
a beautiful bottle of oil that you love so much,
And still,
if this oil carries a drop of
(01:26):
poison in it,
is it still the oil that you love?
Not really,
because it has poison in it, right?
So the most important
part
that becomes in our everyday life is how
can we remove the poison? How can we remove
the patterns that are stopping us, that are
(01:47):
making us feel stuck?
not able to move
forward, stagnant.
That's why
I would love to talk about what
the patterns are that I see a lot
in my coaching education
programs so that I can give you a
map.
So perhaps you also need that kind of a
(02:08):
map, that kind of a mirror
to look at your own life, to look at your
own patterns, and then to say, okay, am I
willing to
release them
and not take them with me? to the new year
because it's super important to become
aware of our patterns
and then to have a conversation with them
and to literally say,
(02:28):
listen,
I
know you're trying to protect me. I know
you
are here for a reason.
Dear pattern, I appreciate that.
I know you are doing the best
and
I have survived video up until now.
And yet for the next year and moving
forward,
I actually
(02:50):
would love to do something different video.
I would love to sit down with you
and to understand what was the intention
behind
all these automatic habits and patterns
that you,
you did for me so that I can just let go of you.
I believe I can have a different
(03:11):
relationship with you
outside of
my own mental patterns, your pattern.
So can I take you outside of
my being, my nervous system, and can I put
you outside?
If we don't have this conversation,
we will never be able to outgrow them. So
I have three patterns that I picked that I
(03:32):
see a lot
in human behaviors in all of us in
human psychology.
Number one is people pleasing.
I am a recovering people pleaser myself,
and I have been recovering for a while now.
And then I know it's an ongoing process.
It's a lifetime process, maybe,
because
(03:52):
I learned it at a very young age in my
childhood.
So it became my conditioning
and I have all the tools with my own
Neuro-Shine Technology™ with neurolinguistic
programming, positive psychology, quantum
physics,
metaphysics,
leadership communication strategies, even
like cosmology.
I look at the stars and then I look at the
sky mechanics and then I apply that to
(04:14):
myself and
then I realize it still is there
because there is a part of me
that I like being
this person who pleases others.
Are you feeling the same?
If you have that, I understand.
If we are trying trying to please others at
the cost
of our own self-love, our own self-worth,
(04:37):
then we are damaging ourselves, then it's
not helping, then it is actually
doing the opposite effect. We are
selling our souls, selling our sovereignty
in the expectation of approval, in the
expectation of
doing something for something else.
And then at the end of the day, we are
abandoning us.
(04:59):
That is not
what life is about.
Life is about
becoming one within ourselves, becoming
sovereign beings, co-creators of our life.
And I am coming to you.
with
full vulnerability.
Obviously, I have been teaching
my Neuro-Shine Technology™ for so many years.
(05:21):
I started my company Academy of Neuro-Shine
Technology™ in 2011.
It's going to be 15 years in January, in a month.
So I started teaching NLP.
I started teaching different
disciplines because I always wanted to
apply those teachings to myself.
I needed it. I
come from
(05:41):
this
wound of of not being
good enough.
And it comes from my relationship with my
father in my childhood.
I just learned that as a behavior
and I thought
I needed to do extra, extra
to get love from
others.
That's a learned behavior.
(06:01):
That was something
my child's brain
thought it was the truth
because I didn't have
the conscious critical thinking around it yet.
But back then,
all I wanted was love.
And
love
was sort of conditional.
I needed to do
(06:22):
things that I didn't want to.
I needed to say the things that I knew I
didn't mean to.
Otherwise, my father would resent me and
then he wouldn't talk to me for days and
months.
And so
my
my little
child self learned that behavior.
In order to get love, you need to please
(06:43):
the person.
You don't have to say what you think.
You don't
you don't actually put your truth out there
because it hurts them
and they are not happy.
So if they are not happy,
therefore you don't deserve to be happy.
Do you see the mechanics, how it works.
So if you are someone like that,
(07:04):
I get you.
I hear you.
We are all on this boats together.
We are all in this game together.
And that's why I'm telling you
there is a way out.
There is a way out.
Once you understand your pattern, once you
become friends with it, once you understand
it, once you just ask the intention behind it,
once you realize,
oh,
(07:24):
It was trying to give me love.
It was trying to prove me
my own self worth, but
it is so old.
It is just 40 years ago.
So
it was 40 years ago when we learned this,
it was a total different game.
It was a total reality.
Like that
timeline has shifted already.
(07:45):
I don't have to accept it as my truth
anymore,
so I can just let it go.
I can release it.
And so can you,
so all the people pleasers in the house,
I know I am not the only one. I know
you are listening and you are feeling it
and you are asking if that's the case for you.
If there is any part of you
(08:05):
that is doing too much for other people's
opinions, for other people's approval, for
other people's emotions.
If you find yourself trying to manage
others' emotions, if you are
too sensitive to what is going on around you
because you have this type of a symptom
and it's It's totally okay.
(08:26):
It's a learned behavior.
Once you understand it, once you apply
my
formula for change, which is change equals
awareness multiplied by willingness,
you become aware of it.
Okay, this was all so that I could be
happy and then I could feel loved,
but it was all for a reason.
(08:47):
I didn't know any better.
It was looking for
external approval.
So now I am choosing my internal approval.
Now I am not abandoning myself.
Now I am not betraying myself. Now
I am choosing myself.
I'm going to be true to myself.
I can understand that they may not like
(09:07):
what I say.
They may not approve what I say,
but my job is not to make them like me.
My job is to make me like me.
Therefore, I am
shifting
the things and I am shape shifting.
I am turning things around and I'm choosing me.
Okay,
this is how we can release
(09:27):
this pattern and then we can let it go and
then we can stay in 2025.
We can say
kiss goodbye
to it and then we can say thank you
for all these years, for all the things
that you have done.
to make me feel loved,
to make me feel worthy.
I really appreciate it.
I know better now.
I learned now.
(09:48):
I am aware and I'm willing.
I'm aware that it's an external approval
mechanics that I am not choosing anymore.
So
I'm also willing
to be disliked.
I'm also willing
to choose my internal
self-word,
my internal love, my self-love over
(10:08):
external.
like
an approval. Yes?
Can we say that?
We got this.
The second pattern that I
want to talk to you about that I see so much
in
all of us
as humanity is
not able to say no.
when your whole body is screaming, no,
but you find yourself saying, yes, sure.
(10:32):
Ever had one of those moments?
You are definitely a no, no, no.
Like, please leave me alone.
And still
you just
don't even realize how that automatically
left your mouth
because you just said yes.
Does that ever happen? I
know.
So this one I'm better at.
I am absolutely good at saying no.
(10:52):
I learned it.
This was
a very hard process for me, especially if
you are working with others that
require your input, that wants your
attention, that wants your help,
those people,
they're going to want all of these things
from you, right?
You're needed and you're wanted.
So the intention behind this pattern, if
(11:13):
you sit with it and if you ask, you like
being wanted, you like being needed,
you like the attention.
That's kind of like the addiction.
It's still the external approval.
It's still something external.
Do you see?
It's a common pattern.
It's a common theme
of external
approvals.
And so
(11:34):
what you can do
to apply my formula for change,
awareness multiply by willingness, you can
become aware of it.
Am I physically feeling
this?
Yes, in my body.
Is this a full body? Yes.
Am I owning it?
Do I feel
expansion in my heart?
Do I feel expansion in my being when
(11:56):
this question comes to me, when this
request comes to me, do I feel
yes,
a full body yes, or
do I feel
Not really.
Please leave me alone.
Please leave me alone.
But and then you still say,
sure, I'll do it because you feel like you
are supposed to.
It's so not easy.
(12:17):
I got to tell you,
we are surrounded by people and if we live
in
people,
okay,
we are people.
And so
it is an addiction that we are
surrounded by.
We are programmed by conditioned by
people
are going need other people.
And yet what we are going to
(12:41):
need to become aware of is the context
around it.
The first thing you need to become aware of
is your body language.
What is your body saying, right? That is
your nervous system speaking to you.
If you are
not feeling a
yes from your body,
then look at the conditions around that.
Look at the context around that.
(13:01):
Why would you not want to say yes to this
one? Oh, because it is going to require
a lot of time from you and then you're not
willing to spend your time on this thing.
Valid enough.
That is exactly the case and that's exactly
the reason why
you are going to say no.
And you're going to say,
you know what? I have my other priorities.
I would have really loved to do it, yet I
(13:24):
have my other priorities.
So perhaps next time.
Or you're going to say something like,
you know, I am working on saying no
when I don't feel like a full body yes
within myself.
Although it is very uncomfortable,
I would really appreciate your
understanding
in this work that I am doing for my
(13:45):
personal development.
There
you go.
not only
spoke your truths, but you also included
them and you invited them.
And then by being in this way, you're also
inviting them to do the same.
One person
doing it,
inviting the other one, and the other one
is doing the
same thing for the other person.
(14:06):
And then that's how we can start a ripple effect
of owning our truth.
Saying no is okay.
Saying no to yourself is not,
and we can totally do it.
Yes.
Choose yourself and
invite others to join your process.
Look at this.
Zoom agrees. Yes.
I love it.
(14:26):
Wonderful.
So the
third pattern that I see a lot in humanity
as a psychological pattern is
avoidance.
You know how
you have some very difficult conversation
that you need to have, and then you
successfully put it under the carpet,
you are totally fine not
(14:48):
doing it because it is uncomfortable.
That's what I'm talking about.
In these moments,
we are
less of a
dignified human because
look at the mechanics behind it.
I
let this discomfort become bigger than my truth.
Discomfort
(15:08):
owns me
because it shapes how I behave in this
moment.
So discomfort
overpowers my throat.
Therefore, discomfort
wins the game.
You see,
that's it.
That's the mechanics behind it.
And that's exactly why we need to stop it.
And then we need to also put it behind.
(15:29):
We need to release it and we need to let it go and
not
carry it.
to the upcoming year of 2026. So
the pattern of avoidance is obviously
another pattern that we learn
in our
upbringing.
And it
is also a very deeply rooted pattern.
(15:49):
So I understand if you are unconsciously
doing that,
I mean, inviting you to become aware of it.
If there is no awareness, you cannot change it.
Let go of
all the things that you do,
which
might fall under
Oh, I'm doing a lot of things, but you're
not doing the thing that needs to
release the pattern, break the pattern.
(16:11):
So if you're doing a lot of the things, but
you are not facing your avoidance,
then you're not being aware.
So awareness becomes zero.
Whatever you multiply
by zero is zero.
still going to be zero.
So that's why you're not going to change
your pattern.
Understand? When you become aware of it,
when you face your avoidance and when you say,
dear avoidance,
(16:31):
you're not bigger than me.
You're not going to overpower me.
I am just going
to
turn it into a conversation,
which is all that is.
I'm just going to own it.
I'm just going to show up to it.
I'm not going to let it bother me because
I'm bigger than that.
I am more powerful than that.
You know, these conflicts, these difficult
conversations as part of
(16:52):
So
thank you for protecting me all this time
and
pretending and then assuming that it would
not be okay for me, but it is totally okay for me.
I'm accepting
the
difficulty
of this conversation
and I'm totally fine with it.
In these difficult conversations,
as I do more of them,
(17:13):
I actually build my muscle around it
and then I
become tough and so difficult
is not difficult anymore.
I actually raise my
level, my standard high above that,
and
they become no longer difficult for me.
They become easy for me in time.
So that's it.
That's the willingness part.
(17:35):
You literally owning it, saying it,
reframing how
it can change
its form
in your
mental, emotional, and
psychological and spiritual
being.
Okay? So
again, to
wrap up, we talked about three patterns that
(17:55):
we can all let go
and release to
the
air, to the field in 2025, and we are not
going to carry them with us to
2026.
Number one, people pleasing.
Number two,
saying yes when we know we want to say no.
And then
number three,
avoiding and putting things under the
(18:17):
carpet when
it feels difficult because we know we can
do better.
and
the old difficult becomes the new easy.
We all have that.
We just need to
become bigger than them.
That's it.
And that's
why
I am inviting all of us
to sit
with our decisions, with our behaviors,
(18:39):
with our language patterns, with our
relationships.
How
do we show up? How did you show up in 2025?
How
did you talk to yourself? Did you abandon
yourself?
Did you betray Did you try to please
others? Say yes when you wanted to say no.
Did you
put things under the carpet when it was
(18:59):
difficult? Let's face it.
Let's take the time.
I'm getting goosebumps.
Let's take the time
to really have this deep conversation
with different parts of us. Let's
unite all parts of us because we are one.
And that is my message to you.
And that is the world that I want to live in
(19:20):
in the year of 2026.
So
join me.
Let's make the new year the best year ever.
And let's just
change the world by becoming the change
that we want to see
in the world.
So
my dear shiny minds, you know where to find me.
You can go to shinyunsal.com
(19:41):
and grab that PDF
and to see how we can work together in 2026.
Or you can go to neuroshinetechnology.com
and
Book a call with one of us, with one of our
faculty trainers,
and see how
we can hold your hand
as your personal development
(20:01):
partner,
as your partner in SHINE,
and we can really hold the space for you to
become the change you want to see in the world.
That is my wish for you, for your loved ones.
If you like this video, please put a like,
share it with others, and subscribe for
more videos,
more content.
(20:22):
just like this so that we can show up
better, more conscious,
more delicious human beings in 2026.
Thank you for watching.
Thank you for your support
in the entire year of 2025.
Until next time, keep shining your life.
Go galactic.
Go galactic.
Then you're in the right place.
(20:44):
Let's go, let's go.
When the countdown begins for a new year,
we need to look at what to release.
And that's why
we're going to talk about why you need to
stop abandoning yourself in 2006 and how.
Let's begin.
Are you ready to shine?
Come
on.
It's the shiny one.
You got this.
Welcome to the Shiny Minds Show.
(00:20):
Hello everyone.
I am Dr. Shiny. I am
super excited that we are literally in the
official countdown
to wrap up the year of 2025 behind to
welcome the new year with love and
acceptance and abundance and gratitude.
I always take the time at the end of the
(00:42):
year to look at what I have accomplished,
what I have achieved, how I have lived, how I have
showed up,
and
what can I do even better next year?
And
I wanted to take this time to talk about
our patterns,
because
here's the thing.
When we are entering a new year, it is
(01:05):
really not what we are bringing
to add on.
It is more so about what we are not
bringing and what we are releasing.
So think about it.
If you have
a beautiful bottle of oil that you love so much,
And still,
if this oil carries a drop of
(01:26):
poison in it,
is it still the oil that you love?
Not really,
because it has poison in it, right?
So the most important
part
that becomes in our everyday life is how
can we remove the poison? How can we remove
the patterns that are stopping us, that are
(01:47):
making us feel stuck?
not able to move
forward, stagnant.
That's why
I would love to talk about what
the patterns are that I see a lot
in my coaching education
programs so that I can give you a
map.
So perhaps you also need that kind of a
(02:08):
map, that kind of a mirror
to look at your own life, to look at your
own patterns, and then to say, okay, am I
willing to
release them
and not take them with me? to the new year
because it's super important to become
aware of our patterns
and then to have a conversation with them
and to literally say,
(02:28):
listen,
I
know you're trying to protect me. I know
you
are here for a reason.
Dear pattern, I appreciate that.
I know you are doing the best
and
I have survived video up until now.
And yet for the next year and moving
forward,
I actually
(02:50):
would love to do something different video.
I would love to sit down with you
and to understand what was the intention
behind
all these automatic habits and patterns
that you,
you did for me so that I can just let go of you.
I believe I can have a different
(03:11):
relationship with you
outside of
my own mental patterns, your pattern.
So can I take you outside of
my being, my nervous system, and can I put
you outside?
If we don't have this conversation,
we will never be able to outgrow them. So
I have three patterns that I picked that I
(03:32):
see a lot
in human behaviors in all of us in
human psychology.
Number one is people pleasing.
I am a recovering people pleaser myself,
and I have been recovering for a while now.
And then I know it's an ongoing process.
It's a lifetime process, maybe,
because
(03:52):
I learned it at a very young age in my
childhood.
So it became my conditioning
and I have all the tools with my own
Neuro-Shine Technology™ with neurolinguistic
programming, positive psychology, quantum
physics,
metaphysics,
leadership communication strategies, even
like cosmology.
I look at the stars and then I look at the
sky mechanics and then I apply that to
(04:14):
myself and
then I realize it still is there
because there is a part of me
that I like being
this person who pleases others.
Are you feeling the same?
If you have that, I understand.
If we are trying trying to please others at
the cost
of our own self-love, our own self-worth,
(04:37):
then we are damaging ourselves, then it's
not helping, then it is actually
doing the opposite effect. We are
selling our souls, selling our sovereignty
in the expectation of approval, in the
expectation of
doing something for something else.
And then at the end of the day, we are
abandoning us.
(04:59):
That is not
what life is about.
Life is about
becoming one within ourselves, becoming
sovereign beings, co-creators of our life.
And I am coming to you.
with
full vulnerability.
Obviously, I have been teaching
my Neuro-Shine Technology™ for so many years.
(05:21):
I started my company Academy of Neuro-Shine
Technology™ in 2011.
It's going to be 15 years in January, in a month.
So I started teaching NLP.
I started teaching different
disciplines because I always wanted to
apply those teachings to myself.
I needed it. I
come from
(05:41):
this
wound of of not being
good enough.
And it comes from my relationship with my
father in my childhood.
I just learned that as a behavior
and I thought
I needed to do extra, extra
to get love from
others.
That's a learned behavior.
(06:01):
That was something
my child's brain
thought it was the truth
because I didn't have
the conscious critical thinking around it yet.
But back then,
all I wanted was love.
And
love
was sort of conditional.
I needed to do
(06:22):
things that I didn't want to.
I needed to say the things that I knew I
didn't mean to.
Otherwise, my father would resent me and
then he wouldn't talk to me for days and
months.
And so
my
my little
child self learned that behavior.
In order to get love, you need to please
(06:43):
the person.
You don't have to say what you think.
You don't
you don't actually put your truth out there
because it hurts them
and they are not happy.
So if they are not happy,
therefore you don't deserve to be happy.
Do you see the mechanics, how it works.
So if you are someone like that,
(07:04):
I get you.
I hear you.
We are all on this boats together.
We are all in this game together.
And that's why I'm telling you
there is a way out.
There is a way out.
Once you understand your pattern, once you
become friends with it, once you understand
it, once you just ask the intention behind it,
once you realize,
oh,
(07:24):
It was trying to give me love.
It was trying to prove me
my own self worth, but
it is so old.
It is just 40 years ago.
So
it was 40 years ago when we learned this,
it was a total different game.
It was a total reality.
Like that
timeline has shifted already.
(07:45):
I don't have to accept it as my truth
anymore,
so I can just let it go.
I can release it.
And so can you,
so all the people pleasers in the house,
I know I am not the only one. I know
you are listening and you are feeling it
and you are asking if that's the case for you.
If there is any part of you
(08:05):
that is doing too much for other people's
opinions, for other people's approval, for
other people's emotions.
If you find yourself trying to manage
others' emotions, if you are
too sensitive to what is going on around you
because you have this type of a symptom
and it's It's totally okay.
(08:26):
It's a learned behavior.
Once you understand it, once you apply
my
formula for change, which is change equals
awareness multiplied by willingness,
you become aware of it.
Okay, this was all so that I could be
happy and then I could feel loved,
but it was all for a reason.
(08:47):
I didn't know any better.
It was looking for
external approval.
So now I am choosing my internal approval.
Now I am not abandoning myself.
Now I am not betraying myself. Now
I am choosing myself.
I'm going to be true to myself.
I can understand that they may not like
(09:07):
what I say.
They may not approve what I say,
but my job is not to make them like me.
My job is to make me like me.
Therefore, I am
shifting
the things and I am shape shifting.
I am turning things around and I'm choosing me.
Okay,
this is how we can release
(09:27):
this pattern and then we can let it go and
then we can stay in 2025.
We can say
kiss goodbye
to it and then we can say thank you
for all these years, for all the things
that you have done.
to make me feel loved,
to make me feel worthy.
I really appreciate it.
I know better now.
I learned now.
(09:48):
I am aware and I'm willing.
I'm aware that it's an external approval
mechanics that I am not choosing anymore.
So
I'm also willing
to be disliked.
I'm also willing
to choose my internal
self-word,
my internal love, my self-love over
(10:08):
external.
like
an approval. Yes?
Can we say that?
We got this.
The second pattern that I
want to talk to you about that I see so much
in
all of us
as humanity is
not able to say no.
when your whole body is screaming, no,
but you find yourself saying, yes, sure.
(10:32):
Ever had one of those moments?
You are definitely a no, no, no.
Like, please leave me alone.
And still
you just
don't even realize how that automatically
left your mouth
because you just said yes.
Does that ever happen? I
know.
So this one I'm better at.
I am absolutely good at saying no.
(10:52):
I learned it.
This was
a very hard process for me, especially if
you are working with others that
require your input, that wants your
attention, that wants your help,
those people,
they're going to want all of these things
from you, right?
You're needed and you're wanted.
So the intention behind this pattern, if
(11:13):
you sit with it and if you ask, you like
being wanted, you like being needed,
you like the attention.
That's kind of like the addiction.
It's still the external approval.
It's still something external.
Do you see?
It's a common pattern.
It's a common theme
of external
approvals.
And so
(11:34):
what you can do
to apply my formula for change,
awareness multiply by willingness, you can
become aware of it.
Am I physically feeling
this?
Yes, in my body.
Is this a full body? Yes.
Am I owning it?
Do I feel
expansion in my heart?
Do I feel expansion in my being when
(11:56):
this question comes to me, when this
request comes to me, do I feel
yes,
a full body yes, or
do I feel
Not really.
Please leave me alone.
Please leave me alone.
But and then you still say,
sure, I'll do it because you feel like you
are supposed to.
It's so not easy.
(12:17):
I got to tell you,
we are surrounded by people and if we live
in
people,
okay,
we are people.
And so
it is an addiction that we are
surrounded by.
We are programmed by conditioned by
people
are going need other people.
And yet what we are going to
(12:41):
need to become aware of is the context
around it.
The first thing you need to become aware of
is your body language.
What is your body saying, right? That is
your nervous system speaking to you.
If you are
not feeling a
yes from your body,
then look at the conditions around that.
Look at the context around that.
(13:01):
Why would you not want to say yes to this
one? Oh, because it is going to require
a lot of time from you and then you're not
willing to spend your time on this thing.
Valid enough.
That is exactly the case and that's exactly
the reason why
you are going to say no.
And you're going to say,
you know what? I have my other priorities.
I would have really loved to do it, yet I
(13:24):
have my other priorities.
So perhaps next time.
Or you're going to say something like,
you know, I am working on saying no
when I don't feel like a full body yes
within myself.
Although it is very uncomfortable,
I would really appreciate your
understanding
in this work that I am doing for my
(13:45):
personal development.
There
you go.
not only
spoke your truths, but you also included
them and you invited them.
And then by being in this way, you're also
inviting them to do the same.
One person
doing it,
inviting the other one, and the other one
is doing the
same thing for the other person.
(14:06):
And then that's how we can start a ripple effect
of owning our truth.
Saying no is okay.
Saying no to yourself is not,
and we can totally do it.
Yes.
Choose yourself and
invite others to join your process.
Look at this.
Zoom agrees. Yes.
I love it.
(14:26):
Wonderful.
So the
third pattern that I see a lot in humanity
as a psychological pattern is
avoidance.
You know how
you have some very difficult conversation
that you need to have, and then you
successfully put it under the carpet,
you are totally fine not
(14:48):
doing it because it is uncomfortable.
That's what I'm talking about.
In these moments,
we are
less of a
dignified human because
look at the mechanics behind it.
I
let this discomfort become bigger than my truth.
Discomfort
(15:08):
owns me
because it shapes how I behave in this
moment.
So discomfort
overpowers my throat.
Therefore, discomfort
wins the game.
You see,
that's it.
That's the mechanics behind it.
And that's exactly why we need to stop it.
And then we need to also put it behind.
(15:29):
We need to release it and we need to let it go and
not
carry it.
to the upcoming year of 2026. So
the pattern of avoidance is obviously
another pattern that we learn
in our
upbringing.
And it
is also a very deeply rooted pattern.
(15:49):
So I understand if you are unconsciously
doing that,
I mean, inviting you to become aware of it.
If there is no awareness, you cannot change it.
Let go of
all the things that you do,
which
might fall under
Oh, I'm doing a lot of things, but you're
not doing the thing that needs to
release the pattern, break the pattern.
(16:11):
So if you're doing a lot of the things, but
you are not facing your avoidance,
then you're not being aware.
So awareness becomes zero.
Whatever you multiply
by zero is zero.
still going to be zero.
So that's why you're not going to change
your pattern.
Understand? When you become aware of it,
when you face your avoidance and when you say,
dear avoidance,
(16:31):
you're not bigger than me.
You're not going to overpower me.
I am just going
to
turn it into a conversation,
which is all that is.
I'm just going to own it.
I'm just going to show up to it.
I'm not going to let it bother me because
I'm bigger than that.
I am more powerful than that.
You know, these conflicts, these difficult
conversations as part of
(16:52):
So
thank you for protecting me all this time
and
pretending and then assuming that it would
not be okay for me, but it is totally okay for me.
I'm accepting
the
difficulty
of this conversation
and I'm totally fine with it.
In these difficult conversations,
as I do more of them,
(17:13):
I actually build my muscle around it
and then I
become tough and so difficult
is not difficult anymore.
I actually raise my
level, my standard high above that,
and
they become no longer difficult for me.
They become easy for me in time.
So that's it.
That's the willingness part.
(17:35):
You literally owning it, saying it,
reframing how
it can change
its form
in your
mental, emotional, and
psychological and spiritual
being.
Okay? So
again, to
wrap up, we talked about three patterns that
(17:55):
we can all let go
and release to
the
air, to the field in 2025, and we are not
going to carry them with us to
2026.
Number one, people pleasing.
Number two,
saying yes when we know we want to say no.
And then
number three,
avoiding and putting things under the
(18:17):
carpet when
it feels difficult because we know we can
do better.
and
the old difficult becomes the new easy.
We all have that.
We just need to
become bigger than them.
That's it.
And that's
why
I am inviting all of us
to sit
with our decisions, with our behaviors,
(18:39):
with our language patterns, with our
relationships.
How
do we show up? How did you show up in 2025?
How
did you talk to yourself? Did you abandon
yourself?
Did you betray Did you try to please
others? Say yes when you wanted to say no.
Did you
put things under the carpet when it was
(18:59):
difficult? Let's face it.
Let's take the time.
I'm getting goosebumps.
Let's take the time
to really have this deep conversation
with different parts of us. Let's
unite all parts of us because we are one.
And that is my message to you.
And that is the world that I want to live in
(19:20):
in the year of 2026.
So
join me.
Let's make the new year the best year ever.
And let's just
change the world by becoming the change
that we want to see
in the world.
So
my dear shiny minds, you know where to find me.
You can go to shinyunsal.com
(19:41):
and grab that PDF
and to see how we can work together in 2026.
Or you can go to neuroshinetechnology.com
and
Book a call with one of us, with one of our
faculty trainers,
and see how
we can hold your hand
as your personal development
(20:01):
partner,
as your partner in SHINE,
and we can really hold the space for you to
become the change you want to see in the world.
That is my wish for you, for your loved ones.
If you like this video, please put a like,
share it with others, and subscribe for
more videos,
more content.
(20:22):
just like this so that we can show up
better, more conscious,
more delicious human beings in 2026.
Thank you for watching.
Thank you for your support
in the entire year of 2025.
Until next time, keep shining your life.
Go galactic.
Go galactic.
Then you're in the right place.
(20:44):
Let's go, let's go.
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