The Shit Apple Podcast
Life’s messy, weird, and sometimes downright crappy—but it’s also hilarious, relatable, and full of lessons. Join us as we peel back the layers of life’s little disasters, laugh at the chaos, and find meaning in the mess. This show is about everything and nothing all at the same time. No topic is off-limits, and no moment is too awkward to share. Grab a seat and let’s dive in!
Episodes
“Gift in a Box” is the episode where we unwrap the good, the bad, and the aggressively lazy side of gift giving 🎁
What actually makes a gift good? We’re talking effort, intention, and knowing your person… not panic-buying a last-minute candle or defaulting to a Starbucks gift card (Shelley has very strong feelings about that… and a very specific place she suggests you put it).
We get into our husbands’ gifting track ...
Welcome to the most wildly entertaining world-building exercise you didn’t know you needed. In this episode, we crown ourselves the slightly unwell, highly opinionated dictators of our own fictional country… and the laws? Immediate madness with a sprinkle of common sense.
We’re talking strict enforcement of turn signals (miss one and say goodbye to that little finger 👋), relocating the Super Bowl to Saturdays where ...
Somewhere between the airport security line and the gas pump, society quietly agreed on a set of unspoken rules… and yet, here we are. This week, we’re unpacking the chaos of people acting like they just arrived on Earth five minutes ago. Shoes off at TSA? A mystery. Credit card at the ready in the checkout line? Revolutionary concept. Pumping gas without a full-blown identity crisis? Apparently too much to ask.
We s...
Dirty Little Brains 🧠✨
Welcome to the group chat inside your head… the one that should absolutely never be shared out loud. This episode is all about those thoughts that pop in uninvited and really should’ve stayed put. You know the ones—judging a meal someone made for you while smiling politely, imagining completely unhinged “what if” scenarios, or mentally playing out alternate lives with people you definitely sho...
This week on The Shit Apple Podcast, we’re sharing our personal “pro tips”—the life hacks we’ve picked up through experience, trial and error, and a little bit of chaos. From why you should never assume someone is pregnant, to our belief that most problems can be solved with water or sleep, we cover the practical, the petty, and the slightly questionable. We also get into getting what you want (even when your spouse...
We’re back in the studio and immediately choosing chaos. This episode is all about the little things people do on purpose just to watch someone lose their mind… and apparently everyone in our lives knows exactly which buttons to push.
Shelley gets rage-baited at the dentist when someone tells her her designer bag looks like it came from TJ Maxx. No poo spray in the bathroom? Mirrors may not survive. She does NOT beli...
This week we’re getting Mixed Up with Jason Asher. 🍸
Jason is one of the most creative minds in the cocktail world and a Phoenix hospitality veteran with more than two decades in the industry. After studying culinary arts and building a reputation for bold, technique-driven cocktails, he went on to help create some of the Valley’s most immersive bar concepts and has been recognized nationally for his innovative appr...
Some people wake up ready for the day. We wake up already side-eyeing it.
This week we explore the fine art of being pre-annoyed… irritated in advance, bothered before the bother, emotionally buffering before the Wi-Fi even drops.
Why does the sound of the garage door trigger a full internal monologue?
Why does “I’m hungry” land like a personal accusation?
Why do people say, “I gotta question…” and then pause like they’...
Happy One Year, Shit Apples!!
In this anniversary episode, we roll out the glittery red carpet for our very first annual Shitties Award Ceremony. Yes, it’s as ridiculous as it sounds. We hand out completely unhinged awards to ourselves, relive the chaos, and crown the moments that made us laugh the hardest, cringe the deepest, and text each other “should we cut that?” (We didn’t.)
We rewind to how this whole thing sta...
This week we take aim at Valentine’s Day — not love itself, just the commercialized circus around it. We’re joined by our special guest Alicia Gayman, owner of Peace Love and Hair Salon in Scottsdale, who shares her jaw-dropping story that started like a fairytale and quickly turned into a full-blown nightmare. What she went through is shocking, eye-opening, and a powerful reminder to trust your gut.
After that, we g...
This week on “Girl Math Made Me Subscribe,” The Shit Apple Podcast dives headfirst into the wild, slippery waters of subscriptions. From the absolutely necessary to the utterly unhinged, the three of us tally up what we’re paying for, what we forgot we signed up for, and what we will die on a hill defending. Shelley introduces us to her digital hall monitor Rocket Money, which lovingly exposes every charge while she...
✨ Bougie Behavior Unlocked ✨
In this episode, we fully embrace the things we’ve become unapologetically high-maintenance about. From refusing to rent the wrong color car, demanding keyless entry like civilized people, and insisting on organic everything, to only using top-notch cookware, skipping lines, enduring terrible concert seats, or staying in crusty hotels with that suspicious bedspread.
We’re calling ourselves...
Welcome to a support group where no one wants support, only witnesses. 👀
This week we’re confessing every tiny, unhinged, accidental and extremely intentional way people beg for attention… starting with ourselves, because obviously.
We roast Shelley for fully believing she’s famous now that a handful of people recognize her voice from the podcast. We admit the loudest truth of all: starting a podcast is basically Att...
Why are some people perfectly fine leaving life messy… while others need a label for every spice, book, and snack?
In this episode, we dive into Type A vs Type B personalities. Shelley is the ultimate Type B—laid-back, go-with-the-flow energy—while Tiffany and Diana are full-on Type A, organizing spice racks, saving food like it’s a national sport, and taking banana bread potential very seriously. Things get weirdly ...
We missed you guys—like, a lot—and we’re finally back 🎉 After a great (and slightly chaotic) holiday season, we’re catching up, ringing in the New Year, and hoping yours was just as good. Happy New Year to all of our listeners… we missed you terribly.
In today’s episode, we’re talking all things New Year’s: parties, traditions, how our holidays actually went, our own New Year’s resolutions (take those lightly), and ...
Pour the cocoa (or the wine) and cozy up because it’s time for A Very Shit Apple Christmas 🎄🍷
In this holiday episode, we’re talking all things Christmas — from the hottest gifts of the season and the family traditions we swear by, to settling the ultimate debate: what is the best Christmas movie of all time?
We’re also sharing our favorite Christmas songs, holiday opinions no one asked for, and plenty of stories in...
They say karma takes care of everything… but we’re still refreshing the page. 👀
In this episode, we confess all the pettiest, most dramatic revenge fantasies we’ve ever had — from imaginary chaos in someone’s pristine closet to the wild urge to “accidentally” ruin a perfectly clean car. Do we act on these ideas? Absolutely not. Do we mentally rehearse them in HD? Every single day.
We talk about the long-standing grud...
This week on The Shit Apple Podcast, we’re asking the most important question of our generation: is it actually style… or are we all just in deep, DEEP denial?
From shoes to manicures to whether Teslas are still “cool,” we’re diving into the ins, outs, and absolute WHAT ARE WE DOING of current trends. We go rapid-fire through everything—from Vans vs Converse, Hydros vs Stanleys, silver vs gold, and why ever...
Ever get advice you didn’t ask for? Yeah… us too. This week on Bad-Vice, we’re unpacking all the “helpful” tips people have thrown our way, the advice Diana’s been dishing out for years, and the questionable choices that made everyone else think they should chime in. Some of it was genius. Some of it? Pure chaos.
And then there’s Diana — or as we like to call her, Diana Lama the Wise — always ready to turn our disast...
This week, we’re diving headfirst into our obsessions — the ones that make us happy, the ones that make no sense, and the ones that might need professional intervention. Shelley’s dog Swig officially runs the show (and her entire life), Diana’s chasing her sleep score like it’s an Olympic sport, and Tiffany’s counting protein like it’s a religion. We also talk makeup, vacuums that make us feel things we shouldn’t, a...
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