November 5, 2025 • 30 mins
237. in this episode, i share my experience with getting a master’s at 50, why credentials mattered after years of coaching, and how to balance B-plus work with perfectionism.
i also remind you that it is not too late to go after that goal you've been keeping hidden.
listen to this episode to hear about:
- why credentials and evidence-based methods matter
- what i learned in grad school
- what i struggled with in grad school
- how perfectionism meets B-plus work in real life
- how to combat post-goal blues.
- designing what’s next with the question “what do I want”
- encouragement to start, no matter your age or background
you might also be interested in these other episodes mentioned in this episode:
164 - pillars of sustainable success
233 - how my past careers helped create the coach i am today
234 - what's a life and business coach and do you need one?
text me with comments on this episode!
i can help you feel better and get more done in 6 months. i'll help you figure out a meaningful goal, we'll create an action plan and i'll help you get unstuck all along the way. you don't have to go it alone, and you don't have to burn yourself out!
if you loved what i talked about in this episode, you're going to love working with me.
want to see if we are a good fit for 1:1 coaching? go to https://showupsociety.com/coaching and schedule a free consult.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
Welcome to the Show Up Society podcast, where I help
you get super clear on what youreally want so you can focus on
doing the things that reallymatter to you instead of getting
overwhelmed with all the extra.
I also hope you learn how to bekinder to yourself so you can
overcome perfectionism, peoplepleasing, and your inner critic.
I'm Life and Business CoachTammy Bennett, and I'm about to
(00:24):
help you show up for the lifeyou want to live.
Hello, friend.
Wow, you sure do know how towelcome a girl back.
I got so much uh good feedbackand response and um
encouragement from all of youwhen I put out my episode last
week saying that the podcast isback.
(00:45):
So thank you so much for that.
Um, my voice might sound alittle funny today.
I think I picked up a littlecold.
Uh I traveled last week, firstof all, to Omaha to watch my
youngest daughter compete in theBig East Championships.
And her team, Georgetown, wonthe Big East Championship.
So that was really fun to see.
(01:06):
And then we went straight fromthere to New York City to watch
the New York Marathon.
And I spent, what was it, sevenhours cheering for 57,000
people, I think they said itwas.
And that was so uh amazing,inspiring.
It was every emotion under thesun.
If my husband and I can get ouracts together, we are going to
(01:27):
do a podcast episode about thatbecause we had all the feels and
it was an amazing experience.
Um, but somewhere along the wayof all the traveling and stuff,
I picked up a little cold.
So my voice might sound a littlebit funny, but you know, that's
okay.
We move on.
So today I wanted to talk alittle bit about um my
reflections on getting mymaster's degree at age 50 and
(01:48):
how the sort of, you know,spoiler alert here is that it's
never too late to do the thingthat uh has been kind of pulling
at your uh dream strings, right?
It's never too late to go afterthe thing.
I think so many times we thinkthat we're too old or it's too
late to get started or we're waybehind everybody else.
(02:08):
And I just wanted to offer you alittle bit of a different
perspective and just tell yousome of the highs and lows that
I experienced in going after amaster's degree at 50 years of
age.
And as always, I'm going to betotally straight up and real
with you.
That's how I operate.
Uh, one of the things I learnedduring uh our the master's
(02:29):
program is I took severalleadership classes and we had to
do strengths tests and we had totalk about our values, and
truthfulness and authenticityshowed up as one of my top three
values and top three strengthsevery time.
Um, I already knew that.
I mean, I it's no surprise tome.
I guess I didn't know it becauseI hadn't taken those tests
before, but it is no surprise tome that uh truthfulness and
(02:50):
authenticity is uh of supremeimportance to me.
So I'm gonna be straight andreal with you today on this
podcast episode.
Uh, let's see, I don't even knowwhere to start.
I think last time I was inschool, uh I was in law school,
which I graduated uh in 2003.
So it has been 20 years since Iwas in a formal school setting.
First of all, let's talk aboutwhy I got my master's uh in full
(03:13):
transparency here.
I did it to have somecertification and validation of
what I already do, right?
So I already coach people on howto perform better, whether it's
in sports or arts or businessownership.
Um, I help people get out oftheir own way so they can show
up and perform the way that theywant to perform in their life.
And I've been doing that indifferent forms for over 18
(03:36):
years, uh, specifically workingon people's mindset for the past
uh five years.
So I do think it's important inthis era, especially this
political climate, where thereare so-called experts and
influencers spouting out allkinds of stuff all over TikTok
and all over the social mediaoutlets.
I do think it's really importantto have evidence-based
(03:56):
scientific work.
Um, so that was one of thereasons I wanted to go back.
So even though I feel reallyconfident in my work, I wanted
to have some kind ofcertification and formal
schooling and validation behindmy name.
Um, so that's why I went back toget my master's.
Uh, I also lost a coupleopportunities in the past couple
years working with uhorganizations that I really
(04:18):
wanted to work with.
Uh, I had people reach out thathad listened to my podcast or
had been in my workshops beforeand they really liked what I
did.
Uh, but then the board ofdirectors didn't want to hire me
because I didn't have enoughprofessional qualifications.
And so I was a little bit bummedabout missing some of those
opportunities, even though thepeople that reached out to me
liked what I did.
And um uh so that just felt likea little bit frustrating to me.
(04:42):
So that was another kind ofreason why I went to get my
master's.
Um, and I'm gonna be reallystraight up with you and for
real, I didn't learn that much.
I did learn some stuff.
Uh, and this is certainly not atall a reflection uh on my
school.
It's not a poor reflection on myschool.
They covered mental performanceso well.
(05:04):
I think they did a really goodjob.
But it's just that I've had 18years of experience coaching in
a couple different capacities,in addition to doing a lot of my
own studies before enteringschool.
Uh, I have been a student ofmindset and performance for
almost 20 years, not only forthe people that I've coached,
but also in my own life.
And I've uh really studied andtried to figure out ways to get
(05:28):
over my um a lot of difficultstuff that I had from traumas
and from uh violent, turbulentchildhood and to very low
self-esteem.
Uh, I have found ways to findconfidence and I found ways to
not worry so much about whatother people think of me and to
overcome self-doubt andperfectionism and all the
(05:49):
things.
So I have studied this so muchfor myself and for my clients.
Um I already knew so much of thework that they taught us in my
master's program.
So it did feel reallyfrustrating at times that I
spent that I'm spending all thismoney and time and energy into
the master's program withoutlearning a great deal.
So, yes, I absolutely did learnsome things, and I'm never going
(06:12):
to stop learning.
I'm always going to be educatingmyself and updating my
knowledge.
Um, but I would say the quantityof what I learned in this almost
two-year program was prettysmall.
Um, and again, that's not areflection of the school.
It's just that I had alreadydone so much work.
So uh what I found reallyvaluable was I learned a lot of
aspects of counseling that I uhdidn't really have before, and
(06:37):
also a lot of aspects ofmulticultural considerations
that are incredibly importantbecause diversity is really
important to me.
So uh I'm really grateful thatmy school required uh several
multicultural awareness classes,and many of our assignments in
our other classes also had amulticultural component.
(06:57):
And I learned a lot about umwhat I didn't know, right?
You don't know what you don'tknow until you get taught what
you don't know.
And so there was uh a lot of uhequity, inclusion, DEI learnings
that I am very grateful for.
So I am very glad for mymaster's program for teaching me
some of those things.
(07:18):
While the master's wasfrustrating at times, it was
also incredibly validating.
So on the vast majority of theassignments that I had, I wrote
the papers based on how I'vecoached for the last five, 10
years, uh, or beyond, right?
I've I've been coaching for 18years, but really primarily
focusing on people's mindset forthe past five to 10.
(07:38):
So before I did any of theassigned reading, I wrote the
paper about what I know and howI practiced and drew from the
pillars of my coaching.
And then I went and looked forevidence and did the reading
that we were assigned, or atleast did, you know, some of the
reading that we were assigned toback up the tactics that I had
already described and to findproper citations for the work.
(08:00):
Um, and in all these papers, Igot great feedback and uh I got
all A's in my master's program,and I'm gonna talk about that a
little bit later in thisepisode.
Uh, but it felt very validatingthat the way I coach is spot on
and has so much evidence outthere in the world and so much
research to back up the methodsthat I use.
So um, yeah, it felt reallyvalidating to know that what I
(08:24):
am doing is backed up by so muchresearch and evidence.
And uh, I already had theanecdotal evidence.
I have seen it work withhundreds of people that I have
worked with, but it also feelsgood to have the science behind
it.
Um, if you want to know moreabout my coaching philosophy,
um, you know, you know, and thepillars of my coaching and how I
operate, I have a whole podcastepisode about that.
Actually, there's two podcastepisodes that uh kind of deal
(08:46):
with that, and that's episode234 and episode 164.
I'm gonna uh try to remember tolink to those in the show notes
here uh if you wanted to learnmore about my personal coaching
philosophies.
Um, okay, so let's talk aboutthe program.
It was almost two years ofintense reading, researching,
(09:07):
writing.
Um, the program was almost twoyears long, but the but in the
last two terms, I took moreclasses than usual because I
wanted to be done faster.
So I just thought, like, I'mjust gonna dig in and it's gonna
be really hard for these lasttwo terms, but I want to be
done.
So yeah, it was a little bitunder two years.
Um, so yeah, almost two years ofhaving papers due every weekend,
(09:27):
almost two years of discussionswith other people in my industry
of all different levels, fromprofessors to guest speakers to
peers.
Um, it was almost two years ofbeing judged and and getting
graded, and that felt reallyhard at my age when I am 50, and
I give way less of a poop aboutwhat people think.
(09:48):
And so it felt a little strangeto all of a sudden have to
really care what the professorsthought.
Um, so that was a wholeexperience.
Um I was the oldest in theclass, as far as I know, uh, and
I really saw that as anadvantage in most ways.
So the first week or two, youknow, while we're introducing
each other, uh, I felt like, ohmy gosh, I'm I was literally
(10:09):
twice the age of so many peoplein the class.
And I was like, I'm the old ladyhere, like they're not gonna
respect me, they're gonna thinkthat I'm outdated or not
relevant anymore.
But I really came to seethroughout the two years that it
was actually a huge advantage tohave um age and experience.
And I have so much lifeexperience to draw from, not
(10:31):
only in terms of what we arelearning about helping our
clients, uh, although that wasthe biggest benefit of being uh
one of the the oldest or one ofthe oldest in the class, um, but
also in terms of beingself-motivated and knowing how
to schedule my time and handlingsetbacks and handling critique
and getting getting along withothers, just so many life skills
(10:52):
that I have developed from beingon this earth twice as long as
most of the other people in theclass.
So another thing I realized inthis program was you can have
all the knowledge in the world,but unless you're going to stay
in academia or be a researcheror something like that, where
you have to uh discuss it withyour peers who are uh also on
that same kind of level ofknowledge and expertise, um, all
(11:15):
the knowledge in the world isn'tgoing to do any good unless you
can relate it to people and helpexplain it to them in a way that
they can apply to their lives,right?
So for people like me who wantto use what I'm learning with
clients rather than writingpapers for my peers, uh, you
really have to be able to tellstories and to teach the topics
in a way that makes total sensefor people that aren't in
(11:35):
academia, that haven't read allthese studies.
And so that was the most commonfeedback I got from my
professors and my peers, uh,that I was really able to take
the knowledge and make itunderstandable and approachable
when working with clients.
And I think that a large part ofthat comes from coaching over a
thousand people over the yearsand learning what resonates with
people and what doesn't, andlearning how to tell stories and
(11:58):
learning how um to just havethese interactions where people
understand what I'm trying toteach them without having to use
uh the big fancy technical termsand just breaking it down into
everyday language.
And so I feel really gratefulthat I have the experience with
people that enables me to um tobreak down these kind of bigger
(12:22):
topics and concepts intoeveryday approachable uh kind of
uh advice and teachings.
Another thing, I'm just kind ofall out of order here.
There's no kind of rhyme orreason to this episode, and I'm
sorry about that.
It's it's been a while since Ihad to like gather my thoughts
and organize them, but I thinkwe're doing okay.
Uh, the scheduling was really uhscheduling wasn't hard, but it
(12:43):
was a mental drain.
It was a huge mental loadbecause we had homework due on
Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays,and Sundays.
And so just keeping track of theassignments and how much time it
would take and remembering to dothem on all of those days, even
when I was traveling, the mentalload was a lot.
It felt like it was just alwaysfor two years on my mind, you
(13:07):
still have something to do, youstill have something to do, you
still have to paper to turn in,you need to do research.
It just felt like this constantstream of noise of what I still
had to do, and it felt like itwas never ending because then
when I turned in the lastassignment on Sunday, usually at
like, you know, 10 to 11:30 p.m.
because it's due at midnight,um, that felt great.
And then I wake up on Mondaymorning and now I have a whole
(13:29):
week of more assignments due.
And so it just felt very taxingmentally to just constantly be
reminding myself of all theseassignments that were due.
And that was probably one of thehardest parts, actually.
Another hard part was being atthe will of someone else.
I have been my own boss uh for20 years.
(13:50):
I was a fitness instructor, arunning coach, an artist, a
product designer, a mindsetcoach, many other things.
And you can hear all about thoseother careers that led me to
coaching.
I have a podcast episode aboutthat as well.
That's episode 233 of the ShowUp Society podcast.
And I'm gonna try to remember toput a note about that in the
show notes too.
Um, but so all of those careers,I was my own boss.
(14:12):
I made my own schedule, Idetermined when I worked, I
determined my days off, Idetermined how many clients or
how many emails I was gonna sendeach day.
I really was my own boss, and tothen not be my own boss for two
years felt incredibly hard.
I feel like sometimes I'm tooold for this shit, you know?
Like one example was we had todo these um group discussions
(14:36):
online every week.
And so we would have to post ourour thoughts, and then we had to
reply to two other people in theclass.
And then when people reply tous, we had to reply back to
them.
And our one of my teachers uhwanted us to reply to other
(14:56):
people with 200 words.
And I remember on one of thefirst assignments, I wrote my
full response in 189 words, andI covered every single thing
that we were supposed to coveron the syllabus.
I hit everything.
I, you know, I replied with akind greeting.
I mentioned something that theysaid in their post that was
(15:16):
strong.
I gave uh an extra question forthem.
I did all the things on therubric, except I did 189 words
instead of 200, and she countedoff points.
And I was like, all right,listen.
I was a journalism major wherewe have to learn how to be
incredibly brief and every wordmatters.
I was in law school and I was onthe law review where we write
(15:37):
pieces and briefs and papers,and we have to make sure that
every word counts, right?
So I am very used to writingsuccinctly and efficiently when
I need to.
Doesn't sound like it on thispodcast episode, but I do, and I
that's one of the skills that Ihave is cutting out a lot of the
extra fluff and getting to thepoint and getting it done
quickly.
And I was so pissed.
(15:58):
I was so pissed that I gotpoints off for covering
everything that needed to becovered, but I'm getting
punished for doing it in anefficient manner.
And I just remember thinking,like, this feels really shitty
to be at the will of somebodyelse, or um, and maybe this
sounds arrogant of me, I don'tknow, but it's just it was
something that's really hardfrom me being my own boss uh for
so many years to then have aboss, basically.
(16:20):
Um, and so that that was anotherstruggle that I dealt with quite
a bit.
Um, and so that's kind of asegue into the whole grade
situation.
So I like to look at capacityand perfectionism.
And I teach my clients in inworkshops and in my group
coaching, I talk a lot aboutdoing B plus work.
(16:41):
I actually say B minus work, butthat feels really hard for a lot
of my highly driven, want-to-beperfect kind of uh people.
And so I say, you know, do the Bplus work, B minus work to get
yourself to do the thing, right?
Then you can go back and perfectit later.
You can polish it up before youpublish it or before you turn it
in.
But go for the B plus or B minuswork first, just to get over
(17:04):
your perfectionism to just getsomething on paper.
Then you can go back and shinyit up and make it look like an A
plus, right?
But I actually really struggledwith this during uh my time in
the master's program.
And, you know, I had to keepreminding myself it doesn't have
to be perfect.
I don't need to get an A plus.
I don't even need to get an A.
I don't even need to get a Bplus.
(17:25):
B's and above are what wasrequired to be in the program.
And so um I had to keepreminding myself when there, you
know, when it would be like myseventh hour of researching and
writing, when I was like, isthis good enough?
This is good enough.
I can turn it in like it is.
I don't need to keep going onand I don't need to have this be
perfect.
And I had to keep talking myselfout of that, just it felt like
(17:48):
almost a primal instinct to wantto be perfect.
And, you know, I can point to amillion reasons why, namely, you
know, getting beaten up when Ididn't have an A in fourth
grade.
Um, so I have lots of reasonswhy that perfectionism is there,
but I was very surprised at howstrong it still lived in me when
it was uh when I was in thisprogram, when it's something
(18:10):
that I have to turn in for otherpeople.
So I thought that I had done areally good job at sort of
overcoming my perfectionism, butthis was kind of like a mirror
being held up to me that's like,hey, Tammy, you probably care
about perfectionism a littlemore than you would like to
admit.
And so that was just kind of aninteresting thing.
And it really showed up for mewhen uh on the last term on the
(18:35):
last Sunday of uh of the of thewhole program, I turned in my
final assignment.
I was so excited.
I go into our, you know, uhstudent portal to just check and
just to double double check thatin all of my classes that I
turned in all the assignments,and I see this one outstanding
assignment.
I'm like, wait a minute, what?
(18:55):
And the teacher had uh scheduleda Zoom call for the class for a
discussion call for an hour, andthen we had to write a paper
about it.
So this was a brand newassignment that she was sneaking
in, it was due on the Wednesday,and I thought classes were done
by Wednesday.
Like I thought, like, I thoughtall her grades had to be turned
in and all that by Wednesday.
So I thought that I was done.
(19:16):
I wasn't.
So I had this Tuesday night Zoomcall and the reflection due,
this reflection paper due on theWednesday.
And I was like, you have to bekidding me.
It was so anticlimatic because Iwas ready to go in the other
room and celebrate and start anew week being done with grad
school, and all of a sudden Ihave this looming assignment.
And I posted about it on myInstagram, and one of my dear
friends that had taken some ofmy workshops before wrote, and
(19:39):
he was like, You always tell usto do B plus work.
Why do you have to do thisassignment?
What if you just don't do it,you know?
And so we had this portal whereI could plug in and see what my
overall grade would be if I gota zero on this uh project.
And it would have brought medown uh to a B or a B minus, I
(20:00):
think maybe a B, if I decidednot to do the assignment.
But I had all straight A's thewhole time through in every
class.
And I was like, you know what?
I just can't do it.
I can't skip this assignment.
I can't get all the way here tolike an inch before the finish
line and then give up.
I can't do this and walk awayknowing that I didn't give it my
best.
(20:20):
I can't do this knowing that Ihad all A's and I kind of threw
away that last A and settled fora B just because I didn't want
to do an assignment.
And so I think part of it was alittle bit perfectionism, but
part of it honestly was just howdo I want to show up in the
world?
And I want to show up assomebody that gives her best
effort the whole time.
I mean, not you know, the bestfor what you can do on that day,
(20:43):
but I knew that I had thecapacity to do that assignment
and there was nothing keeping mefrom it, and so I chose to do
the assignment and I got the Ain the class.
But it was just a veryinteresting are you walking the
walk?
Are you uh practicing what youpreach?
And um, I think that I still ambecause there were definitely,
(21:04):
definitely a lot of assignmentswhere I was not perfect and I
was like, this is good enough.
But I I think I think it wassurprising to me to have the
struggle to to see that tendencyto want to get this straight A,
but I was very practicing what Ipreach, walking the walk when I
was reminding myself, Tammy,this doesn't have to be perfect,
(21:24):
this is good enough.
Turn this shit in and go in theother room and watch some
Netflix.
And so um, yes, I absolutely amstill walking the walk.
I am still fully believing thatB plus is good enough.
Um, I was just surprised at theinnate struggle to, or that
innate drive, that innatetendency to want the A plus.
Um, but yes, so I think ithelped me, uh it's going to help
(21:48):
me in my coaching even betterbecause I uh understand so fully
people's tendency to want to doit perfectly.
And I think uh I I saw that youare I I saw that I was able to
overcome that tendency and toturn in good enough stuff and
still do really good work thatI'm proud of.
Um okay, so now that it's done,now that my master's is done,
(22:10):
I've had several weeks toreflect.
And I purposefully built in timeto do nothing other than
celebrate and reflect.
So what I tell my clients and myathletes to do all the time is
that we often have this bigletdown or almost depression
after doing the thing that we'veworked on for so long, right?
So maybe for you it's running a10K or getting a new job or
having a baby or getting marriedor remodeling a house or a new
(22:32):
project at work.
But when you have a really biggoal or a project and you're
focused on it for such a longtime, you can be very down in
the dumps and very blue aftercompleting it.
It can feel like you have nopurpose and it can feel like,
you know, like, hey, I thoughtmy life was gonna be way better
after I achieve that, but I feellike it's kind of the same, and
you kind of feel down in thedumps about it.
(22:54):
So what I did uh in thismaster's program, and what I
tell my clients and athletes andpeople that I work with, what I
tell them to do is topurposefully plan ahead of time
to do nothing once the projector the goal has been achieved.
So during that time, no goal, nonew goals are to be decided
upon.
Okay.
There is only reflection.
(23:14):
What worked, what did you dowell, what did you enjoy, what
would you do differently nexttime, what energized you, what
depleted you?
Um, so a lot of reflection.
There should also be somecelebration with yourself and
with others.
I celebrated on Instagram acouple days last week.
I celebrated in the newsletter,I celebrated with my family.
Um, but celebrate with yourselfand with others.
(23:36):
Tell other people what you didand let them celebrate with you.
It's not being braggy.
You're just saying, like, hey, Idid this really this big thing
and I worked really hard.
I'm really proud of myself.
It feels really good to letsomebody celebrate that with
you.
Take time to write in yourjournal or to make art or
somehow commemorate the event.
Celebrate it, right?
(23:56):
And then check in on yourcapacity, check in on your
physical, mental, energycapacity.
And when you start to feel thatitch again, when you start to
want to get moving again, whenyou start to want to pick a new
goal and have a purpose again,that's when it's time to think
about what's next.
And that's when it's time tothink about your next goal and
what do you want to do and whodo you want to be.
(24:18):
But make sure that you areplanning a set amount of time to
give yourself to celebrate andreflect without immediately
going on to what's next.
It is absolutely a learned skillon how to be satisfied and how
to be uh happier for yourselfand how to acknowledge
accomplishments.
It's actually a life skill thatI think is imperative that we
(24:38):
all learn.
Because if you never learn it,then no matter how many
accomplishments you achieve,you're never gonna feel
satisfied, right?
So you must start learning howto feel some satisfaction.
And so I have done that for awhile.
Like I actually planned to takethe rest of 2025 off, other than
my one-on-one clients, or to atleast have a slow re-entry
(24:59):
before doing group coachingprograms or workshops or
speaking events.
So I am still super focusedright now on my one-on-one
clients.
And I just started this podcastback up, after you know, but I
had many weeks of rest.
Um, and I started the podcastback because I was really
itching to do it.
And I I uh was really like,okay, I really want to start the
podcast now.
I have so many ideas, I can'twait to share.
(25:19):
And I actually held myself backfor a couple weeks before uh
before I actually started itagain, because I wanted to make
sure that I really did have theenergy and the capacity to do it
every week.
So I actually didn't even letmyself do it for a couple weeks
because I'm like, yeah, youmight want to do it this week,
but do you really want to do itevery week from here on out?
And I didn't quite feel like Ihad the capacity for that yet.
(25:41):
So what's next for me?
Uh, I'm slowly coming back tolife, I feel like.
So I'm continuing, uh, you know,all in with my one-on-one
clients.
I'm starting up now, steady withthis podcast and the newsletter,
and I'm contemplating a bunch ofother things that likely won't
start up until 2026, likespeaking events and workshops
and group coaching programs.
And I want to really dig backinto my creativity.
(26:03):
So I'm gonna be reallyreflecting and thinking about
what I want in those areas forthe rest of 2025, and those are
gonna start back up in 2026.
I'm sure I'm gonna talk to youall about those on a future
episode of the podcast aboutwhat my goals are.
But so yeah, for now I amdigging deep into one of my
favorite questions of themoment, and that is what do I
want to do?
What do I want to spend my timedoing?
(26:25):
Who do I want to be?
And if I could create it fromscratch, what would I be doing,
you know, day to day, month tomonth, year to year?
And this question, what do Iwant, is actually one of the
most important questions you canask yourself, and it's usually
harder than it sounds for mostpeople to answer it.
I'm actually developing aworkshop or have a workshop on
this very thing, because I thinkit's such an important question
to ask.
(26:46):
So I am that's what I'm gonna bedoing for the next couple
months.
But I just wanted to take thisopportunity to encourage you.
If you have been feeling likeit's too late in life to do the
thing, it is not too late.
If you have any desire to goback to school or finish a
degree of some sort, it is nottoo late.
I think having differentperspectives in class is so
(27:06):
important.
So it's okay if you are theoldest or if you stand out for
some other reason, like gender,race, ethnic background,
ability, or or any other thingthat makes you stand out or feel
different from anybody else, Ithink that's when it's extra
important for you to putyourself in the arena, right?
I think different perspectivesthan everybody else's in there
(27:26):
is so important.
And diversity of perspectives isso important.
So if you are letting somethingkeep you out of the room, don't
let it keep you out of the room.
Get into the room, okay?
And if you have that itch tolearn more about something, go
do it.
You don't have to go to formalschool.
You can go to the library, youcan educate yourself for free.
There are so many ways to takeclasses online.
(27:46):
Sometimes you have to pay forthem, sometimes they're free,
but you can get so mucheducation online too.
And even if there's somethingthat's not learning or school
related that you've been wantingto do, it is not too late.
I think I look at my one-on-oneclients right now that I've
worked with over the past yearor so, and I've helped people
quit corporate jobs that theyhated to become bakers or poets.
I have helped people finishscreenplays, I've helped people
(28:09):
enter writing contests andcreate new products in their
businesses and sell to newmarkets and find their ways to
have successful businesseswithout burning themselves into
the ground.
There are there's so manyexamples that I could give you
from my own client roster, butthe point that I want to make
with you is that it's not toolate to answer that whisper
that's in your heart.
It is not too late to scratchthat itch.
(28:31):
It is not too late to go afterthat thing that you've been
contemplating or thinking ofdoing on your own, right?
It is not too late to go afterit.
You just need to give yourselfthe permission to want it.
And then you just have topractice that faith in yourself
that you can do it, okay?
And, you know, if you ever needhelp with it, that's exactly
what I help people do.
I help people figure out what isthat whisper in their heart that
(28:52):
they haven't been answering, andthen I help you figure out what
is it that I want to do, what doI need to do to go do it, and
then I help you get out of yourown way so you don't prevent
yourself from living your dream,right?
And I know that may sound cornyand cheesy, but I don't care.
I'm really um hell bent onhelping you figure out what it
is you want to do with this onewild and precious life, right?
As Mary Oliver said.
(29:14):
So I hope something in thisepisode has been helpful to you
or interesting to you orinspiring or encouraging, or
maybe just shed a little lighton what it feels like to go back
to school at age 50.
But I thank you so much forshowing up to this episode of
the Show Up Society podcast.
Now go out there and show up foryourself.
Hey friend, if you liked thispodcast episode and you want
(29:34):
help applying it to your life soyou can do more of what you want
and feel good while doing it,you're gonna love working with
me one on one for six months.
I'll help you with strategy andmindset so you can figure out
what you want, make an actionplan, and I'll help you get
unstuck all along the way.
Go to showupsociety.com forwardslash coaching to set up a
(29:54):
consultation to see if we are agood fit for each other.
Oh, hey loyal podcast listener.
Thank you for being here all theway through to the end.
Your secret challenge for todayis to find my Instagram at
ShowUpSociety and find the postthat corresponds to this podcast
episode.
And I want you to leave me anemoji in the comments that has
(30:16):
something to do with time or awatch or a calendar.
And that's going to show me thatyou know that it's never too
late to go after something thatyou want.
Okay.
So that will be our littlesecret code that you listened to
this episode and that you aregoing to practice believing that
it's not too late for you to dowhat you want.
Okay, friend.
(30:36):
Love you so much.
Thanks for being here.
Welcome to the Show Up Society podcast, where I help
you get super clear on what youreally want so you can focus on
doing the things that reallymatter to you instead of getting
overwhelmed with all the extra.
I also hope you learn how to bekinder to yourself so you can
overcome perfectionism, peoplepleasing, and your inner critic.
I'm Life and Business CoachTammy Bennett, and I'm about to
(00:24):
help you show up for the lifeyou want to live.
Hello, friend.
Wow, you sure do know how towelcome a girl back.
I got so much uh good feedbackand response and um
encouragement from all of youwhen I put out my episode last
week saying that the podcast isback.
(00:45):
So thank you so much for that.
Um, my voice might sound alittle funny today.
I think I picked up a littlecold.
Uh I traveled last week, firstof all, to Omaha to watch my
youngest daughter compete in theBig East Championships.
And her team, Georgetown, wonthe Big East Championship.
So that was really fun to see.
(01:06):
And then we went straight fromthere to New York City to watch
the New York Marathon.
And I spent, what was it, sevenhours cheering for 57,000
people, I think they said itwas.
And that was so uh amazing,inspiring.
It was every emotion under thesun.
If my husband and I can get ouracts together, we are going to
(01:27):
do a podcast episode about thatbecause we had all the feels and
it was an amazing experience.
Um, but somewhere along the wayof all the traveling and stuff,
I picked up a little cold.
So my voice might sound a littlebit funny, but you know, that's
okay.
We move on.
So today I wanted to talk alittle bit about um my
reflections on getting mymaster's degree at age 50 and
(01:48):
how the sort of, you know,spoiler alert here is that it's
never too late to do the thingthat uh has been kind of pulling
at your uh dream strings, right?
It's never too late to go afterthe thing.
I think so many times we thinkthat we're too old or it's too
late to get started or we're waybehind everybody else.
(02:08):
And I just wanted to offer you alittle bit of a different
perspective and just tell yousome of the highs and lows that
I experienced in going after amaster's degree at 50 years of
age.
And as always, I'm going to betotally straight up and real
with you.
That's how I operate.
Uh, one of the things I learnedduring uh our the master's
(02:29):
program is I took severalleadership classes and we had to
do strengths tests and we had totalk about our values, and
truthfulness and authenticityshowed up as one of my top three
values and top three strengthsevery time.
Um, I already knew that.
I mean, I it's no surprise tome.
I guess I didn't know it becauseI hadn't taken those tests
before, but it is no surprise tome that uh truthfulness and
(02:50):
authenticity is uh of supremeimportance to me.
So I'm gonna be straight andreal with you today on this
podcast episode.
Uh, let's see, I don't even knowwhere to start.
I think last time I was inschool, uh I was in law school,
which I graduated uh in 2003.
So it has been 20 years since Iwas in a formal school setting.
First of all, let's talk aboutwhy I got my master's uh in full
(03:13):
transparency here.
I did it to have somecertification and validation of
what I already do, right?
So I already coach people on howto perform better, whether it's
in sports or arts or businessownership.
Um, I help people get out oftheir own way so they can show
up and perform the way that theywant to perform in their life.
And I've been doing that indifferent forms for over 18
(03:36):
years, uh, specifically workingon people's mindset for the past
uh five years.
So I do think it's important inthis era, especially this
political climate, where thereare so-called experts and
influencers spouting out allkinds of stuff all over TikTok
and all over the social mediaoutlets.
I do think it's really importantto have evidence-based
(03:56):
scientific work.
Um, so that was one of thereasons I wanted to go back.
So even though I feel reallyconfident in my work, I wanted
to have some kind ofcertification and formal
schooling and validation behindmy name.
Um, so that's why I went back toget my master's.
Uh, I also lost a coupleopportunities in the past couple
years working with uhorganizations that I really
(04:18):
wanted to work with.
Uh, I had people reach out thathad listened to my podcast or
had been in my workshops beforeand they really liked what I
did.
Uh, but then the board ofdirectors didn't want to hire me
because I didn't have enoughprofessional qualifications.
And so I was a little bit bummedabout missing some of those
opportunities, even though thepeople that reached out to me
liked what I did.
And um uh so that just felt likea little bit frustrating to me.
(04:42):
So that was another kind ofreason why I went to get my
master's.
Um, and I'm gonna be reallystraight up with you and for
real, I didn't learn that much.
I did learn some stuff.
Uh, and this is certainly not atall a reflection uh on my
school.
It's not a poor reflection on myschool.
They covered mental performanceso well.
(05:04):
I think they did a really goodjob.
But it's just that I've had 18years of experience coaching in
a couple different capacities,in addition to doing a lot of my
own studies before enteringschool.
Uh, I have been a student ofmindset and performance for
almost 20 years, not only forthe people that I've coached,
but also in my own life.
And I've uh really studied andtried to figure out ways to get
(05:28):
over my um a lot of difficultstuff that I had from traumas
and from uh violent, turbulentchildhood and to very low
self-esteem.
Uh, I have found ways to findconfidence and I found ways to
not worry so much about whatother people think of me and to
overcome self-doubt andperfectionism and all the
(05:49):
things.
So I have studied this so muchfor myself and for my clients.
Um I already knew so much of thework that they taught us in my
master's program.
So it did feel reallyfrustrating at times that I
spent that I'm spending all thismoney and time and energy into
the master's program withoutlearning a great deal.
So, yes, I absolutely did learnsome things, and I'm never going
(06:12):
to stop learning.
I'm always going to be educatingmyself and updating my
knowledge.
Um, but I would say the quantityof what I learned in this almost
two-year program was prettysmall.
Um, and again, that's not areflection of the school.
It's just that I had alreadydone so much work.
So uh what I found reallyvaluable was I learned a lot of
aspects of counseling that I uhdidn't really have before, and
(06:37):
also a lot of aspects ofmulticultural considerations
that are incredibly importantbecause diversity is really
important to me.
So uh I'm really grateful thatmy school required uh several
multicultural awareness classes,and many of our assignments in
our other classes also had amulticultural component.
(06:57):
And I learned a lot about umwhat I didn't know, right?
You don't know what you don'tknow until you get taught what
you don't know.
And so there was uh a lot of uhequity, inclusion, DEI learnings
that I am very grateful for.
So I am very glad for mymaster's program for teaching me
some of those things.
(07:18):
While the master's wasfrustrating at times, it was
also incredibly validating.
So on the vast majority of theassignments that I had, I wrote
the papers based on how I'vecoached for the last five, 10
years, uh, or beyond, right?
I've I've been coaching for 18years, but really primarily
focusing on people's mindset forthe past five to 10.
(07:38):
So before I did any of theassigned reading, I wrote the
paper about what I know and howI practiced and drew from the
pillars of my coaching.
And then I went and looked forevidence and did the reading
that we were assigned, or atleast did, you know, some of the
reading that we were assigned toback up the tactics that I had
already described and to findproper citations for the work.
(08:00):
Um, and in all these papers, Igot great feedback and uh I got
all A's in my master's program,and I'm gonna talk about that a
little bit later in thisepisode.
Uh, but it felt very validatingthat the way I coach is spot on
and has so much evidence outthere in the world and so much
research to back up the methodsthat I use.
So um, yeah, it felt reallyvalidating to know that what I
(08:24):
am doing is backed up by so muchresearch and evidence.
And uh, I already had theanecdotal evidence.
I have seen it work withhundreds of people that I have
worked with, but it also feelsgood to have the science behind
it.
Um, if you want to know moreabout my coaching philosophy,
um, you know, you know, and thepillars of my coaching and how I
operate, I have a whole podcastepisode about that.
Actually, there's two podcastepisodes that uh kind of deal
(08:46):
with that, and that's episode234 and episode 164.
I'm gonna uh try to remember tolink to those in the show notes
here uh if you wanted to learnmore about my personal coaching
philosophies.
Um, okay, so let's talk aboutthe program.
It was almost two years ofintense reading, researching,
(09:07):
writing.
Um, the program was almost twoyears long, but the but in the
last two terms, I took moreclasses than usual because I
wanted to be done faster.
So I just thought, like, I'mjust gonna dig in and it's gonna
be really hard for these lasttwo terms, but I want to be
done.
So yeah, it was a little bitunder two years.
Um, so yeah, almost two years ofhaving papers due every weekend,
(09:27):
almost two years of discussionswith other people in my industry
of all different levels, fromprofessors to guest speakers to
peers.
Um, it was almost two years ofbeing judged and and getting
graded, and that felt reallyhard at my age when I am 50, and
I give way less of a poop aboutwhat people think.
(09:48):
And so it felt a little strangeto all of a sudden have to
really care what the professorsthought.
Um, so that was a wholeexperience.
Um I was the oldest in theclass, as far as I know, uh, and
I really saw that as anadvantage in most ways.
So the first week or two, youknow, while we're introducing
each other, uh, I felt like, ohmy gosh, I'm I was literally
(10:09):
twice the age of so many peoplein the class.
And I was like, I'm the old ladyhere, like they're not gonna
respect me, they're gonna thinkthat I'm outdated or not
relevant anymore.
But I really came to seethroughout the two years that it
was actually a huge advantage tohave um age and experience.
And I have so much lifeexperience to draw from, not
(10:31):
only in terms of what we arelearning about helping our
clients, uh, although that wasthe biggest benefit of being uh
one of the the oldest or one ofthe oldest in the class, um, but
also in terms of beingself-motivated and knowing how
to schedule my time and handlingsetbacks and handling critique
and getting getting along withothers, just so many life skills
(10:52):
that I have developed from beingon this earth twice as long as
most of the other people in theclass.
So another thing I realized inthis program was you can have
all the knowledge in the world,but unless you're going to stay
in academia or be a researcheror something like that, where
you have to uh discuss it withyour peers who are uh also on
that same kind of level ofknowledge and expertise, um, all
(11:15):
the knowledge in the world isn'tgoing to do any good unless you
can relate it to people and helpexplain it to them in a way that
they can apply to their lives,right?
So for people like me who wantto use what I'm learning with
clients rather than writingpapers for my peers, uh, you
really have to be able to tellstories and to teach the topics
in a way that makes total sensefor people that aren't in
(11:35):
academia, that haven't read allthese studies.
And so that was the most commonfeedback I got from my
professors and my peers, uh,that I was really able to take
the knowledge and make itunderstandable and approachable
when working with clients.
And I think that a large part ofthat comes from coaching over a
thousand people over the yearsand learning what resonates with
people and what doesn't, andlearning how to tell stories and
(11:58):
learning how um to just havethese interactions where people
understand what I'm trying toteach them without having to use
uh the big fancy technical termsand just breaking it down into
everyday language.
And so I feel really gratefulthat I have the experience with
people that enables me to um tobreak down these kind of bigger
(12:22):
topics and concepts intoeveryday approachable uh kind of
uh advice and teachings.
Another thing, I'm just kind ofall out of order here.
There's no kind of rhyme orreason to this episode, and I'm
sorry about that.
It's it's been a while since Ihad to like gather my thoughts
and organize them, but I thinkwe're doing okay.
Uh, the scheduling was really uhscheduling wasn't hard, but it
(12:43):
was a mental drain.
It was a huge mental loadbecause we had homework due on
Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays,and Sundays.
And so just keeping track of theassignments and how much time it
would take and remembering to dothem on all of those days, even
when I was traveling, the mentalload was a lot.
It felt like it was just alwaysfor two years on my mind, you
(13:07):
still have something to do, youstill have something to do, you
still have to paper to turn in,you need to do research.
It just felt like this constantstream of noise of what I still
had to do, and it felt like itwas never ending because then
when I turned in the lastassignment on Sunday, usually at
like, you know, 10 to 11:30 p.m.
because it's due at midnight,um, that felt great.
And then I wake up on Mondaymorning and now I have a whole
(13:29):
week of more assignments due.
And so it just felt very taxingmentally to just constantly be
reminding myself of all theseassignments that were due.
And that was probably one of thehardest parts, actually.
Another hard part was being atthe will of someone else.
I have been my own boss uh for20 years.
(13:50):
I was a fitness instructor, arunning coach, an artist, a
product designer, a mindsetcoach, many other things.
And you can hear all about thoseother careers that led me to
coaching.
I have a podcast episode aboutthat as well.
That's episode 233 of the ShowUp Society podcast.
And I'm gonna try to remember toput a note about that in the
show notes too.
Um, but so all of those careers,I was my own boss.
(14:12):
I made my own schedule, Idetermined when I worked, I
determined my days off, Idetermined how many clients or
how many emails I was gonna sendeach day.
I really was my own boss, and tothen not be my own boss for two
years felt incredibly hard.
I feel like sometimes I'm tooold for this shit, you know?
Like one example was we had todo these um group discussions
(14:36):
online every week.
And so we would have to post ourour thoughts, and then we had to
reply to two other people in theclass.
And then when people reply tous, we had to reply back to
them.
And our one of my teachers uhwanted us to reply to other
(14:56):
people with 200 words.
And I remember on one of thefirst assignments, I wrote my
full response in 189 words, andI covered every single thing
that we were supposed to coveron the syllabus.
I hit everything.
I, you know, I replied with akind greeting.
I mentioned something that theysaid in their post that was
(15:16):
strong.
I gave uh an extra question forthem.
I did all the things on therubric, except I did 189 words
instead of 200, and she countedoff points.
And I was like, all right,listen.
I was a journalism major wherewe have to learn how to be
incredibly brief and every wordmatters.
I was in law school and I was onthe law review where we write
(15:37):
pieces and briefs and papers,and we have to make sure that
every word counts, right?
So I am very used to writingsuccinctly and efficiently when
I need to.
Doesn't sound like it on thispodcast episode, but I do, and I
that's one of the skills that Ihave is cutting out a lot of the
extra fluff and getting to thepoint and getting it done
quickly.
And I was so pissed.
(15:58):
I was so pissed that I gotpoints off for covering
everything that needed to becovered, but I'm getting
punished for doing it in anefficient manner.
And I just remember thinking,like, this feels really shitty
to be at the will of somebodyelse, or um, and maybe this
sounds arrogant of me, I don'tknow, but it's just it was
something that's really hardfrom me being my own boss uh for
so many years to then have aboss, basically.
(16:20):
Um, and so that that was anotherstruggle that I dealt with quite
a bit.
Um, and so that's kind of asegue into the whole grade
situation.
So I like to look at capacityand perfectionism.
And I teach my clients in inworkshops and in my group
coaching, I talk a lot aboutdoing B plus work.
(16:41):
I actually say B minus work, butthat feels really hard for a lot
of my highly driven, want-to-beperfect kind of uh people.
And so I say, you know, do the Bplus work, B minus work to get
yourself to do the thing, right?
Then you can go back and perfectit later.
You can polish it up before youpublish it or before you turn it
in.
But go for the B plus or B minuswork first, just to get over
(17:04):
your perfectionism to just getsomething on paper.
Then you can go back and shinyit up and make it look like an A
plus, right?
But I actually really struggledwith this during uh my time in
the master's program.
And, you know, I had to keepreminding myself it doesn't have
to be perfect.
I don't need to get an A plus.
I don't even need to get an A.
I don't even need to get a Bplus.
(17:25):
B's and above are what wasrequired to be in the program.
And so um I had to keepreminding myself when there, you
know, when it would be like myseventh hour of researching and
writing, when I was like, isthis good enough?
This is good enough.
I can turn it in like it is.
I don't need to keep going onand I don't need to have this be
perfect.
And I had to keep talking myselfout of that, just it felt like
(17:48):
almost a primal instinct to wantto be perfect.
And, you know, I can point to amillion reasons why, namely, you
know, getting beaten up when Ididn't have an A in fourth
grade.
Um, so I have lots of reasonswhy that perfectionism is there,
but I was very surprised at howstrong it still lived in me when
it was uh when I was in thisprogram, when it's something
(18:10):
that I have to turn in for otherpeople.
So I thought that I had done areally good job at sort of
overcoming my perfectionism, butthis was kind of like a mirror
being held up to me that's like,hey, Tammy, you probably care
about perfectionism a littlemore than you would like to
admit.
And so that was just kind of aninteresting thing.
And it really showed up for mewhen uh on the last term on the
(18:35):
last Sunday of uh of the of thewhole program, I turned in my
final assignment.
I was so excited.
I go into our, you know, uhstudent portal to just check and
just to double double check thatin all of my classes that I
turned in all the assignments,and I see this one outstanding
assignment.
I'm like, wait a minute, what?
(18:55):
And the teacher had uh scheduleda Zoom call for the class for a
discussion call for an hour, andthen we had to write a paper
about it.
So this was a brand newassignment that she was sneaking
in, it was due on the Wednesday,and I thought classes were done
by Wednesday.
Like I thought, like, I thoughtall her grades had to be turned
in and all that by Wednesday.
So I thought that I was done.
(19:16):
I wasn't.
So I had this Tuesday night Zoomcall and the reflection due,
this reflection paper due on theWednesday.
And I was like, you have to bekidding me.
It was so anticlimatic because Iwas ready to go in the other
room and celebrate and start anew week being done with grad
school, and all of a sudden Ihave this looming assignment.
And I posted about it on myInstagram, and one of my dear
friends that had taken some ofmy workshops before wrote, and
(19:39):
he was like, You always tell usto do B plus work.
Why do you have to do thisassignment?
What if you just don't do it,you know?
And so we had this portal whereI could plug in and see what my
overall grade would be if I gota zero on this uh project.
And it would have brought medown uh to a B or a B minus, I
(20:00):
think maybe a B, if I decidednot to do the assignment.
But I had all straight A's thewhole time through in every
class.
And I was like, you know what?
I just can't do it.
I can't skip this assignment.
I can't get all the way here tolike an inch before the finish
line and then give up.
I can't do this and walk awayknowing that I didn't give it my
best.
(20:20):
I can't do this knowing that Ihad all A's and I kind of threw
away that last A and settled fora B just because I didn't want
to do an assignment.
And so I think part of it was alittle bit perfectionism, but
part of it honestly was just howdo I want to show up in the
world?
And I want to show up assomebody that gives her best
effort the whole time.
I mean, not you know, the bestfor what you can do on that day,
(20:43):
but I knew that I had thecapacity to do that assignment
and there was nothing keeping mefrom it, and so I chose to do
the assignment and I got the Ain the class.
But it was just a veryinteresting are you walking the
walk?
Are you uh practicing what youpreach?
And um, I think that I still ambecause there were definitely,
(21:04):
definitely a lot of assignmentswhere I was not perfect and I
was like, this is good enough.
But I I think I think it wassurprising to me to have the
struggle to to see that tendencyto want to get this straight A,
but I was very practicing what Ipreach, walking the walk when I
was reminding myself, Tammy,this doesn't have to be perfect,
(21:24):
this is good enough.
Turn this shit in and go in theother room and watch some
Netflix.
And so um, yes, I absolutely amstill walking the walk.
I am still fully believing thatB plus is good enough.
Um, I was just surprised at theinnate struggle to, or that
innate drive, that innatetendency to want the A plus.
Um, but yes, so I think ithelped me, uh it's going to help
(21:48):
me in my coaching even betterbecause I uh understand so fully
people's tendency to want to doit perfectly.
And I think uh I I saw that youare I I saw that I was able to
overcome that tendency and toturn in good enough stuff and
still do really good work thatI'm proud of.
Um okay, so now that it's done,now that my master's is done,
(22:10):
I've had several weeks toreflect.
And I purposefully built in timeto do nothing other than
celebrate and reflect.
So what I tell my clients and myathletes to do all the time is
that we often have this bigletdown or almost depression
after doing the thing that we'veworked on for so long, right?
So maybe for you it's running a10K or getting a new job or
having a baby or getting marriedor remodeling a house or a new
(22:32):
project at work.
But when you have a really biggoal or a project and you're
focused on it for such a longtime, you can be very down in
the dumps and very blue aftercompleting it.
It can feel like you have nopurpose and it can feel like,
you know, like, hey, I thoughtmy life was gonna be way better
after I achieve that, but I feellike it's kind of the same, and
you kind of feel down in thedumps about it.
(22:54):
So what I did uh in thismaster's program, and what I
tell my clients and athletes andpeople that I work with, what I
tell them to do is topurposefully plan ahead of time
to do nothing once the projector the goal has been achieved.
So during that time, no goal, nonew goals are to be decided
upon.
Okay.
There is only reflection.
(23:14):
What worked, what did you dowell, what did you enjoy, what
would you do differently nexttime, what energized you, what
depleted you?
Um, so a lot of reflection.
There should also be somecelebration with yourself and
with others.
I celebrated on Instagram acouple days last week.
I celebrated in the newsletter,I celebrated with my family.
Um, but celebrate with yourselfand with others.
(23:36):
Tell other people what you didand let them celebrate with you.
It's not being braggy.
You're just saying, like, hey, Idid this really this big thing
and I worked really hard.
I'm really proud of myself.
It feels really good to letsomebody celebrate that with
you.
Take time to write in yourjournal or to make art or
somehow commemorate the event.
Celebrate it, right?
(23:56):
And then check in on yourcapacity, check in on your
physical, mental, energycapacity.
And when you start to feel thatitch again, when you start to
want to get moving again, whenyou start to want to pick a new
goal and have a purpose again,that's when it's time to think
about what's next.
And that's when it's time tothink about your next goal and
what do you want to do and whodo you want to be.
(24:18):
But make sure that you areplanning a set amount of time to
give yourself to celebrate andreflect without immediately
going on to what's next.
It is absolutely a learned skillon how to be satisfied and how
to be uh happier for yourselfand how to acknowledge
accomplishments.
It's actually a life skill thatI think is imperative that we
(24:38):
all learn.
Because if you never learn it,then no matter how many
accomplishments you achieve,you're never gonna feel
satisfied, right?
So you must start learning howto feel some satisfaction.
And so I have done that for awhile.
Like I actually planned to takethe rest of 2025 off, other than
my one-on-one clients, or to atleast have a slow re-entry
(24:59):
before doing group coachingprograms or workshops or
speaking events.
So I am still super focusedright now on my one-on-one
clients.
And I just started this podcastback up, after you know, but I
had many weeks of rest.
Um, and I started the podcastback because I was really
itching to do it.
And I I uh was really like,okay, I really want to start the
podcast now.
I have so many ideas, I can'twait to share.
(25:19):
And I actually held myself backfor a couple weeks before uh
before I actually started itagain, because I wanted to make
sure that I really did have theenergy and the capacity to do it
every week.
So I actually didn't even letmyself do it for a couple weeks
because I'm like, yeah, youmight want to do it this week,
but do you really want to do itevery week from here on out?
And I didn't quite feel like Ihad the capacity for that yet.
(25:41):
So what's next for me?
Uh, I'm slowly coming back tolife, I feel like.
So I'm continuing, uh, you know,all in with my one-on-one
clients.
I'm starting up now, steady withthis podcast and the newsletter,
and I'm contemplating a bunch ofother things that likely won't
start up until 2026, likespeaking events and workshops
and group coaching programs.
And I want to really dig backinto my creativity.
(26:03):
So I'm gonna be reallyreflecting and thinking about
what I want in those areas forthe rest of 2025, and those are
gonna start back up in 2026.
I'm sure I'm gonna talk to youall about those on a future
episode of the podcast aboutwhat my goals are.
But so yeah, for now I amdigging deep into one of my
favorite questions of themoment, and that is what do I
want to do?
What do I want to spend my timedoing?
(26:25):
Who do I want to be?
And if I could create it fromscratch, what would I be doing,
you know, day to day, month tomonth, year to year?
And this question, what do Iwant, is actually one of the
most important questions you canask yourself, and it's usually
harder than it sounds for mostpeople to answer it.
I'm actually developing aworkshop or have a workshop on
this very thing, because I thinkit's such an important question
to ask.
(26:46):
So I am that's what I'm gonna bedoing for the next couple
months.
But I just wanted to take thisopportunity to encourage you.
If you have been feeling likeit's too late in life to do the
thing, it is not too late.
If you have any desire to goback to school or finish a
degree of some sort, it is nottoo late.
I think having differentperspectives in class is so
(27:06):
important.
So it's okay if you are theoldest or if you stand out for
some other reason, like gender,race, ethnic background,
ability, or or any other thingthat makes you stand out or feel
different from anybody else, Ithink that's when it's extra
important for you to putyourself in the arena, right?
I think different perspectivesthan everybody else's in there
(27:26):
is so important.
And diversity of perspectives isso important.
So if you are letting somethingkeep you out of the room, don't
let it keep you out of the room.
Get into the room, okay?
And if you have that itch tolearn more about something, go
do it.
You don't have to go to formalschool.
You can go to the library, youcan educate yourself for free.
There are so many ways to takeclasses online.
(27:46):
Sometimes you have to pay forthem, sometimes they're free,
but you can get so mucheducation online too.
And even if there's somethingthat's not learning or school
related that you've been wantingto do, it is not too late.
I think I look at my one-on-oneclients right now that I've
worked with over the past yearor so, and I've helped people
quit corporate jobs that theyhated to become bakers or poets.
I have helped people finishscreenplays, I've helped people
(28:09):
enter writing contests andcreate new products in their
businesses and sell to newmarkets and find their ways to
have successful businesseswithout burning themselves into
the ground.
There are there's so manyexamples that I could give you
from my own client roster, butthe point that I want to make
with you is that it's not toolate to answer that whisper
that's in your heart.
It is not too late to scratchthat itch.
(28:31):
It is not too late to go afterthat thing that you've been
contemplating or thinking ofdoing on your own, right?
It is not too late to go afterit.
You just need to give yourselfthe permission to want it.
And then you just have topractice that faith in yourself
that you can do it, okay?
And, you know, if you ever needhelp with it, that's exactly
what I help people do.
I help people figure out what isthat whisper in their heart that
(28:52):
they haven't been answering, andthen I help you figure out what
is it that I want to do, what doI need to do to go do it, and
then I help you get out of yourown way so you don't prevent
yourself from living your dream,right?
And I know that may sound cornyand cheesy, but I don't care.
I'm really um hell bent onhelping you figure out what it
is you want to do with this onewild and precious life, right?
As Mary Oliver said.
(29:14):
So I hope something in thisepisode has been helpful to you
or interesting to you orinspiring or encouraging, or
maybe just shed a little lighton what it feels like to go back
to school at age 50.
But I thank you so much forshowing up to this episode of
the Show Up Society podcast.
Now go out there and show up foryourself.
Hey friend, if you liked thispodcast episode and you want
(29:34):
help applying it to your life soyou can do more of what you want
and feel good while doing it,you're gonna love working with
me one on one for six months.
I'll help you with strategy andmindset so you can figure out
what you want, make an actionplan, and I'll help you get
unstuck all along the way.
Go to showupsociety.com forwardslash coaching to set up a
(29:54):
consultation to see if we are agood fit for each other.
Oh, hey loyal podcast listener.
Thank you for being here all theway through to the end.
Your secret challenge for todayis to find my Instagram at
ShowUpSociety and find the postthat corresponds to this podcast
episode.
And I want you to leave me anemoji in the comments that has
(30:16):
something to do with time or awatch or a calendar.
And that's going to show me thatyou know that it's never too
late to go after something thatyou want.
Okay.
So that will be our littlesecret code that you listened to
this episode and that you aregoing to practice believing that
it's not too late for you to dowhat you want.
Okay, friend.
(30:36):
Love you so much.
Thanks for being here.
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