Brandi Glanville

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Strawhut Media, and she's gonna come back, right and she
sits down and like, yeah, welcome back to the Shitties
Podcast ever. We have Brandy Granville, gland Vill. I'm so
bad with names.

Speaker 2 (00:14):
Did Where am I looking? There's like three cameras.

Speaker 1 (00:21):
Oh yeah, yeah, there we umber one action.

Speaker 3 (00:26):
Do you remember take a line's cap off of this one?

Speaker 4 (00:29):
Yeah, hey, hey, little poops.

Speaker 3 (00:31):
Welcome back to the Shittiest podcast with Poopies, Everyone's favorite nephew.

Speaker 2 (00:36):
We've definitely had the roster.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
Of characters in our interview pipeline. Let's see doctors, skaters,
you know, poopies, bro Bros from the Jackass Crew bro Bros. Now,
I guess we get to pivot to some of the
Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Everyone's favorite program, only because
milf manor can't have all the fun milfh mannor what

(00:59):
is happening. She's also showed up in other reality TV
trash like Real Housewives, don't say this about our friend
of New York, Vander Pump Rules, Celebrity Big Brother, and
even in movies including Shark Nato four.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
That's right, she is a friend of ours here at
Straw hut.

Speaker 3 (01:12):
So sit back, relax, enjoy, and keep your hand out
of your pants.

Speaker 1 (01:16):
You creepy little shits. Just kidding.

Speaker 3 (01:19):
That was mean.

Speaker 2 (01:19):
I'm sorry. Colombia had the good stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:24):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't do drugs, kids, put your
hands together. Movies. I got an a sponsor, but they
don't sponsor any podcast videos. The shittiest podcast in the world.
All right, you guys, welcome to the shittiest podcast ever.

(01:47):
We have Brittany Glanville, Britney Bitch from the Real Housewives.

Speaker 2 (01:52):
It's okay because people call me Brittany a lot.

Speaker 1 (01:54):
Oh, I'm so fucking fried, dude, that's how dumb I am. Dude. Yeah,
did you go Brittany Bitch? Oh my god, you just
keep it. I'm so fried. Yeah, that's when the narrator
comes in. That's when the narrator comes in. Woo newly
sober poopies. Yeah it should be fun. I'm kidding, really fun.

(02:19):
I'm just I wasn't fun when I was was on
alcohol and drugs, so yeah, I can.

Speaker 2 (02:24):
I mean, I've heard some stories from Ryan yeah so
rough rough stories about Vegas.

Speaker 1 (02:29):
And yeah, yeah, yeah, Vegas was really bad. Ended up
pooping my pants. Actually, yeah, poop my pantser got my
I left my phone in the bathroom. Some janitor grabbed it.
Oh yeah, and then they wouldn't let me back into
the hotel. I got kicked down the hotel, so he
had to go get my phone for me. Likely the

(02:51):
janitor was nice enough to give it.

Speaker 2 (02:53):
Back, right, because you like these steal phones now, I'm like,
why would anyone want my phone?

Speaker 1 (02:57):
No, I thought the phone was gone. I was like, no,
they have it. They're just not telling us they have it.

Speaker 2 (03:01):
Right, because you can do Apple pay and shot on
your phone now, So if you're a thief, it's smart
to steal phones these days. Yeah, yeah, it's a good
it's a good gig, I hear, because you can jail
break the phone and then your credit We all have
our credit card on there, so like, no one's really
given phones back there.

Speaker 1 (03:18):
Yeah. I didn't even actually have a debit card, so
I was using my phone from everything Apple pay wallet.

Speaker 2 (03:25):
They know everything about you then, Oh.

Speaker 1 (03:27):
I'm sure, I'm sure. Yeah, they're listening to us right now.
They are.

Speaker 2 (03:30):
Yeah, I trust me. I really believe that fucking Alexa.
She hears everything at my house. She tries to like
would you like to hear a joke today? No, bitch,
did I ask for one?

Speaker 1 (03:41):
No? I did not, Like, what do you do with
the government? I know that that's the government. I know.
I believe that too, so to my parents.

Speaker 2 (03:49):
I have everyone in on this. But literally, when I'm
on my computer, I don't know if this happens to you,
things will pop up that I've looked at or even
just thought about on my phone. So they're communicating with
each other.

Speaker 1 (04:02):
Yeah, they're like, how weird is that? How weird?

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Is that?

Speaker 1 (04:06):
Like you're just talking about it now? You got to
add on your phone?

Speaker 2 (04:08):
Yes, yes, like even in conversations.

Speaker 1 (04:12):
They got drones up there.

Speaker 2 (04:14):
They listened to my audio messages and then all of
a sudden like, oh something for real?

Speaker 1 (04:18):
Though, for real, the government is listening and watching it
all times.

Speaker 2 (04:21):
I really truly believe that. And then we're trying to
say no to CCTV, which hello.

Speaker 1 (04:28):
Doing it listen news?

Speaker 2 (04:29):
Well, I mean I'm making it up, Okay, okay, but
I mean I feel like we're we're saying we don't
want to be like on camera twenty four seven, but.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Yeah, we already are. Yeah, they don't have our consent,
but they don't need our consent.

Speaker 2 (04:44):
No, they don't. So let's let's backtrack a little bit.
Tell me about yourself, poopies.

Speaker 1 (04:50):
So I was born in Redlands Hospital, Community Hospital.

Speaker 2 (04:54):
In Redlands, uh huh.

Speaker 1 (04:56):
Yeah, yeah, right, and then I grew up in Riverside.
I was. I lived in Highland. Yeah, and then my
parents split up when I was in third grade.

Speaker 2 (05:05):
This is we're going deep.

Speaker 1 (05:06):
Yeah, and then my mom remarried and we moved to Missouri.

Speaker 2 (05:10):
Wow, that's a change from the Redlands and Highlands.

Speaker 1 (05:13):
And yeah, it was a good change. It was a
good change. I lived on a farmhouse where I could
do pretty much anything I wanted to. Is that that's good? Yeah?
I needed that. Like I was climbing the silos as
high as I could. My Mom's like, get down from there.

Speaker 2 (05:27):
The ship yeah, I mean we got away with a
lot of ship back then, right.

Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, it was really fun growing up on the farmhouse.
And then eighth grade came around, I moved to San
Diego and Carlsbad.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Oh nice.

Speaker 1 (05:44):
Yeah, it's a yeah. That's when all the Shenani getting
started happening. That's when I got my name and met
my best friends that I still hang out with and
yeah it was fun. I grew up at a surf shop.
I'd like get dropped off at school for my dad
to leave, and I'd ride my bike down to the
beach you know every day. Yeah, school is stupid. School,

(06:06):
It's not really Yeah, I guess so. But I just
wasn't good at it.

Speaker 2 (06:11):
Well, I mean I showed up on occasion.

Speaker 1 (06:14):
Yeah, a little bit open lush open lunch just screwed
it for me because no one wants to go back
to school after lunch. You know.

Speaker 2 (06:20):
I was busy doing things I had ship to do, right, Yeah,
I was busy. It was dumb for me. I didn't Yeah,
I was dumb.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
We're too cool for high school, yeah, obviously.

Speaker 2 (06:35):
And look at a snap. Oh boy, just jokes, just jokes.
So then then all of the shenanigans started with the
jackass situation.

Speaker 1 (06:46):
Yeah. So I met one of the producers, Trip Taylor,
when I was sixteen in Carlsbad. My friends were actually
trying to film a reality TV show because it was
when Laguna Beach first came out. Oh yeah, my friends
like were like, well, we want to make a reality
TV show. And Carl's dad and uh so funny dude.
I remember they had the chicks like slapping.

Speaker 2 (07:06):
On think of their hottest chicks or in sand Well
in San Diego because I went there once and I
was hot. Yeah, yeah, because like I went there to
visit my boyfriend. He went to San Diego State, and
I was yes, you stayed at the log cabin. He
was like one of the Yeah, yes, and I'm like,

(07:28):
oh my god, all the chicks here are gorgeous. That
was my takeaway from San Diego.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
But awesome.

Speaker 2 (07:33):
Did you feel that way when you were there?

Speaker 1 (07:34):
Yeah, Like I think a couple of friends, she's right there.
A couple of my friends went to STSU. But I
would just show up for the parties, you know. Yeah,
they were fun, but I couldn't get in because I
wasn't part of the frat or whatever dish, So I
ended up sneaking in and then I'd rage rage hard though. Yeah,
it was fun, it was definitely. Yeah, it was definitely

(07:57):
a scene it definitely.

Speaker 2 (08:00):
I think it got the reputation for being a party
school because it was a party school.

Speaker 1 (08:04):
Definitely. Yeah. I mean my one friend went there and
I don't think you end up graduating, but we just
got all the parties that he'd invite us towhere, like
the surfer dudes, and then they're they're the jocks and
they ended up being a fight. Oh.

Speaker 2 (08:18):
Always, there's always a fight with someone. Yeah, I liked
I like fights. You know people you'll fight and never runs.

Speaker 1 (08:24):
Yeah, I would run.

Speaker 2 (08:25):
I wanted to see it, or I would be in it,
which is never fun for me.

Speaker 1 (08:29):
Yeah, but do you ladies know how to fight? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (08:33):
I don't enjoy it anymore, honestly, but I'm really good
on it.

Speaker 1 (08:37):
Did you get any fights on the reality TV show.

Speaker 2 (08:40):
I've been in a lot of arguments. I'm very, very
harsh with my words. Okay when people come for me.

Speaker 1 (08:49):
Yeah, yeah, well words, you know, are they cut? Yeah?
They cut. It's like sticks and stones will break my bones,
but words will never hurt. It's a lot that is
lie for sure. Who wrote that? I don't know, some
dummy fuck.

Speaker 2 (09:02):
You because hello, look at social media. You didn't have
to say words. You just type them and they're hurt.

Speaker 1 (09:07):
Yeah. Bangers yeah, hello, yeah, the internet bangers.

Speaker 2 (09:11):
Yeah, words just written words hurt us.

Speaker 1 (09:14):
Definitely definitely right right right? The bad comments. You know what,
I have.

Speaker 2 (09:19):
A girl that I got smart I don't know how
you are on social media, but I hired.

Speaker 1 (09:24):
I'm very dumb. I would it was the.

Speaker 2 (09:27):
Assumption, but no, I hire someone to do it for me,
because honestly, fuck controls, man. I wanted to fight for
all of.

Speaker 1 (09:35):
Them, right. I can't let it get to you. You can't
let it get to you.

Speaker 2 (09:39):
For every great comment, there would be like one negative one. Yeah,
and they have like ten nice ones, and I would
like fight with the negative and not even apply like
reply to the nice ones.

Speaker 1 (09:48):
Yeah, you can't. You can't get yourself in there, you know.
That's what they want. They want you to freaking respond.
They want you to they want to ruin your day.
Well they used to. Yeah, and that's good. They don't know,
they don't anymore. Mostly that's good. Like your address, I'll
come beat your ass right now. Hello, if you can

(10:09):
find this place, good luck? Yeah right?

Speaker 2 (10:12):
So wait, so we went through to college where you
didn't go to high school or no?

Speaker 1 (10:16):
So I dropped out when I was a sophomore in
high school. Uh huh. And then I tried to get
my GD took me four times to pass it.

Speaker 2 (10:25):
That's rough.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
Yeah, I just why because there's like different subjects, so
I would like master one subject and then like not
really master the other ones.

Speaker 2 (10:34):
You just focus on the one thing that you wanted
to focus on.

Speaker 4 (10:36):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (10:37):
I remember, like it was the essay and then like
I didn't pass the essay, so the next test, I
passed the essay and failed the MASH. So I finally
got my GD. Actually it was two thousand and five
when I was supposed to graduate. Oh so all my
friends were graduating and I got my GD. So it's
kind of worked out, you guys.

Speaker 2 (10:56):
Yeah, all right, so you guys were all high school
graduates to an extent, uh huh. And then yeah, that's
I mean, that's I did.

Speaker 1 (11:02):
I thought I wasn't.

Speaker 2 (11:03):
I still have dreams that I wasn't going to graduate
because I took prelgebra four years in a row.

Speaker 1 (11:09):
Yeah see that. I'm the worst at math.

Speaker 2 (11:11):
I'm pretty good at it, but when you add letters
and I'm like a fuck yourself.

Speaker 1 (11:14):
Yeah, I would get the I'd get like the answers,
but then it was just like some other bullshit.

Speaker 2 (11:20):
They want to see your work. I mean yeah, I.

Speaker 1 (11:24):
Would be so stoked though, when I finally figured out
the equation. Yeah, and they pull they'd like, fucking bring me
some other ship. I did not understand. I'd be like,
all right, I'm just gonna scratch my hair and see
when sand comes out.

Speaker 2 (11:36):
Are you sure your sand?

Speaker 1 (11:37):
Yeah? Sand? Oh? Yeah? Did I make a pile of sand?

Speaker 3 (11:40):
I mean that's a kind of extra credit.

Speaker 1 (11:43):
Oh I just threw up a little bit. Yeah that's true.
It's true. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (11:47):
Well then, so how did we get where we are today?

Speaker 1 (11:50):
So? Yeah, my friends were trying to make that reality
TV show and they were making the sizzle and it
was just a bunch of chicks slapping them and they
were surfing. And then the producer Trip Taylor, which was
the producer of Jackass. That's when I met him when
I was sixteen. So they're like, oh, you got any
He goes, you got any friends that I'll do anything
crazy and stuff, and they go, yeah, let's call poopies.

(12:12):
So they called me up. It's it's still on YouTube.
You can see the sizzle still on YouTube. It was
called The Hard Knocks Life because my friend's last name
was Knox. Okay, I like that, uh huh, So it's
called The Hard Knocks Life. It was kind of like
a based around.

Speaker 2 (12:24):
Him and join Knoxville.

Speaker 1 (12:27):
No, no, Adam Knox. It was this pro surfer Taylor Knox,
his little brother. All right, So he was really big headed,
had a big ego. He wanted his own show. Yeah,
but I just came in and stole the show like
I always do. Yeah, fill yeah. So they had me
like on this bowie with with seals and then all

(12:48):
of a sudden there's a boat and all of a
sudden they pull out pellet guns. No they shot me.

Speaker 2 (12:54):
Oh yeah, seals are not nice.

Speaker 1 (12:57):
No, they're not. Like some of them jumped off, but
the big I guess, alpha fucking seal like stayed on
there and I'm like, guys, come get me. They're like yeah, right, huh.
They start shooting me with pelaguns.

Speaker 2 (13:06):
And the seal didn't do anything.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
He just chilled. Eventually he like jumped off into the water.
But then I was just alone on this booie. No
one is coming, and I can't jump in because I
have a belt of my baitfish. Oh oh, so I
had baitfish tied onto me, so I can't jump in
the water. I'll get eaten by the seals. So they
bust out their pelaguns on the boat and then start

(13:28):
shooting me and then Trip Taylor goes, this guy's fucking
a legend already. So so it just stuck. Yeah. So
then I moved to Hawaii and I started doing a
web series with red Bull TV with my friend Jamie
O'Brien that was called Who's Job. That was like the
best time in my life. We traveled the world, went
to the sickest waves, and it was all in Red

(13:48):
Bull's budget.

Speaker 2 (13:49):
Oh that would be I mean they have a lot yeah. Yeah,
was this when they had a lot of money?

Speaker 1 (13:53):
Oh yes, this was like eight years ago.

Speaker 2 (13:55):
A minute for that crack to stick.

Speaker 1 (13:57):
Yeah, definitely. And I was only getting paid like five
hundred bucks a month or something like I remember.

Speaker 2 (14:02):
My first everything else.

Speaker 1 (14:03):
Yeah, they paid for everything else, and I go, I
go into negotiations and they pull out some number like
I remember, the most I was getting paid was three
thousand dollars a month, you know, And I was like
risking my life. I was going to these big waves
and surfing these waves that'll kill you. But yeah, okay,
I mean now it is. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (14:23):
Now he went into negotiations and You're like, fine, I'll
take it.

Speaker 1 (14:26):
Yeah, I'll take it because I'm not going to say no.
We travel the world and with my best friends and
fucking get to do a lot of fun stuff.

Speaker 2 (14:33):
Yeah. I dated a professional surfer for a while. Oh, no, way,
who Michael Torquato?

Speaker 1 (14:38):
Okay, don't know who that is.

Speaker 2 (14:39):
Yeah, I mean he's older now, okay, but he's still
surfs chases, he chases the way.

Speaker 1 (14:44):
Do you know who he's sponsored by?

Speaker 2 (14:46):
I don't.

Speaker 1 (14:47):
I mean Silver maybe probably, I don't know. He's probably
a cook. I don't know what that means. No, kuk
means like a barney, Like a barney. Yeah, you're just
you're just like, you're not cool. You're not cool. You
weren't a cool surface.

Speaker 2 (15:03):
I want to someone that wasn't cool.

Speaker 1 (15:05):
That's cool. He was pretty cool cool, that's cool.

Speaker 2 (15:08):
He's getting married now.

Speaker 1 (15:10):
Luck.

Speaker 2 (15:11):
Hi, nice.

Speaker 1 (15:15):
Guys are dicks. Guys are dicks. Dick for sure. I
tried out to be a dick.

Speaker 2 (15:19):
Well, I've heard that your girlfriend told me just a
few minutes ago that you really you recently sober.

Speaker 1 (15:27):
Yep, five days sober.

Speaker 2 (15:29):
You needed to be.

Speaker 1 (15:30):
Yeah, I was on a bad one because you were
a little bit of a dick. I was a little
of a bit of dick. Yes, I can't even say that.
I was a little bit of a dick. Yes, no,
I was more than a dick. I was freaking out
of my mind.

Speaker 2 (15:43):
We were supposed to meet here not that long ago,
and you showed up before me, and you showed up,
said you had a fast food hot dog and then
left and I got here after you left, and it.

Speaker 1 (15:56):
Was I'm so sorry. Yeah, I was probably up for
four days, Yeah I was. I probably got here and
was like, dude, I cannot do this podcast. I did
eat a hot dog, but it didn't I don't think
it was the hot dog. I think it was just
my drug use and staying up for four days that
would probably do it. So I just like was like, dude,
I cannot do this podcast. I cannot be seen like this.
So it's probably a blessing in the skies that I

(16:18):
didn't show up. Yeah, oh you showed up. I showed up.
I was in the parking lot. I think you got
minutes and I go, right, I gotta go. Yeah.

Speaker 2 (16:25):
I have a slight reflection and I almost wanted to
cancel today, but I didn't.

Speaker 1 (16:30):
You're sweetheart, yeah, because I really and I know you
talked to our friend doctor Drew. I love him. Yeah,
he's the best dude. We were having a heart to heart.

Speaker 2 (16:40):
I you know, I'm glad that he can't. I wish
I would have saw him.

Speaker 1 (16:43):
Yeah, you just missed him.

Speaker 2 (16:44):
Oh well, I have a circuit.

Speaker 1 (16:46):
Maybe it was meant to be. Yeah, I mean he
probably would have had some things to say.

Speaker 2 (16:50):
Well, I'm sure, but I just I just talked to
him on my podcasts not that long ago. I mean,
I love doctor Drew. I loved several people too. I
collect them.

Speaker 1 (16:58):
He was bringing like the best out of me. Yeah,
he does.

Speaker 2 (17:02):
This guy is professional, he's he's great at what he does,
and he's super positive and he kind of like makes
you want to be sober. I mean for me that
has happening.

Speaker 1 (17:11):
Yeah. Yeah, you gotta want it, you gotta want it.

Speaker 2 (17:13):
Yeah, definitely.

Speaker 1 (17:15):
I was ready to. I was ready to get sober.

Speaker 2 (17:17):
Right, And you're doing it for you, not for anyone else.

Speaker 1 (17:19):
Yeah, doing it for me, working on myself. I'm in
a recovery program.

Speaker 2 (17:23):
That's so awesome.

Speaker 1 (17:24):
Yeah. I'm there for like sixty more days and then
I go to sober living and all all that good stuff.

Speaker 2 (17:30):
I used to visit my friend at sober living and losoncinas,
and there's a lot of drugs.

Speaker 1 (17:35):
There really wasn't sober living, was it?

Speaker 2 (17:39):
Yeah, not really, it was.

Speaker 1 (17:41):
It was a ship show. Yeah, No, for sure. I
got a good support team, so they're taking care of them.

Speaker 2 (17:48):
When you're allowed to have visitors, people bring things.

Speaker 1 (17:51):
In, yeah, definitely. Yeah, I'm building that foundation so when
a storm or flood comes in, I won't get knocked over,
you know.

Speaker 2 (17:58):
So.

Speaker 1 (17:59):
Yeah, and my girlfriend's a lot you know, she's like
sticking around. So that's a big plus in my life.
She's everything.

Speaker 2 (18:08):
Yeah, So do you have any vices? Like, are you
about to vape right now?

Speaker 1 (18:12):
Can vape?

Speaker 2 (18:12):
You can vape as long as it's not over.

Speaker 1 (18:17):
Or crack.

Speaker 2 (18:19):
I don't. Yeah, crack isn't good. I've never done I've
never smoked crack.

Speaker 1 (18:24):
Yeah, that's good. Good job.

Speaker 2 (18:26):
I'm proud of myself.

Speaker 1 (18:27):
I'd probably be somewhere else right now if you did.

Speaker 2 (18:30):
Yeah. Well, I've done a lot of things.

Speaker 1 (18:33):
I don't know what things have you done.

Speaker 2 (18:35):
I've done cocaine, obviously.

Speaker 1 (18:39):
That's a must. That's a must in the TV world.

Speaker 2 (18:42):
Well, no, this is like when I was modeling back
in the day.

Speaker 1 (18:44):
Oh, Wow.

Speaker 2 (18:47):
Yeah, well, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 (18:50):
I would. I used to be able to eat whatever
I wanted.

Speaker 2 (18:52):
You know, when you're young, you can kind of just
do that and then when you get older it's a
little tougher. But no, it's just like that's what you.

Speaker 1 (18:59):
Do, Yeah, drink and do you drink and blow?

Speaker 2 (19:02):
Right, And that's what before fentanyl. So now I would never.
Like since I've been on TV, I haven't done drugs. Actually,
once I met Max husband, I stopped doing all drugs.
He was like annoying.

Speaker 1 (19:16):
He wouldn't let you.

Speaker 2 (19:18):
Yeah, because I've never done a drug in my life.

Speaker 1 (19:22):
He's too good for us.

Speaker 3 (19:23):
Yeah, it sounds like my kind of guy might be
a hit somewhere, just not at ragers.

Speaker 2 (19:28):
So that's why we got divorced. Wanted to get back
into the mix.

Speaker 1 (19:34):
Wanted to hit the No. Yeah, the fedanyl's bad. The
Fetanyl's bad.

Speaker 2 (19:40):
Like, you can't even do coke anymore.

Speaker 1 (19:42):
So iod on fetanyl in Hollywood, I can.

Speaker 2 (19:46):
I mean, I don't see how I thought it was cocaine,
but that's the thing. They're mixing it with everything.

Speaker 1 (19:52):
Well, it was straight like fetanyl. I did two key
bumps and I fucking I know, I woke up in
the ambulance did like he's alive and I had arcans
in me and ship.

Speaker 2 (20:03):
Oh yeah I had. I had to buy that nasal spray.
Isn't that what it is. It's a nasal spray.

Speaker 1 (20:07):
No, it's a it's a needle that goes in your heart.

Speaker 2 (20:10):
That's a different one. But there's a nrkam nasal spray. Really,
I had to buy it when I sent myself off
to college. Three hundred dollars.

Speaker 1 (20:18):
Damn well, save a life though.

Speaker 2 (20:19):
Right, I know, I was annoyed, but yeah, in the budget,
I still bought it and still in the box. I
don't even think YouTube how to use it.

Speaker 1 (20:27):
That's good.

Speaker 2 (20:28):
Yeah, yeah, not a thing, but just.

Speaker 1 (20:31):
Freaking spray out there. Yeah, and maybe blow it in
his nose or something seriously.

Speaker 2 (20:35):
And then they have fentanyl tabs or you can tell
it's like a tab. I think you can get it
on Amazon, and.

Speaker 1 (20:42):
Yeah, there's medical fetanyl and there's street fetanyl. So when
I got bit by the shark, they're like, we're going
to give you Fetanyl's like no, no, They're like, no,
it's medical fetanyl.

Speaker 2 (20:51):
Because I was wondering if this drug is like a
painkiller and so expensive. Then why are they mixing it
with everything?

Speaker 1 (20:56):
Yeah, because it's a street drug. Then, yeah, there's a
fatanyl street kind of there's a medical fatanyl that's fucked up. Yeah.
People do drugs and people like they don't give a
fuck about you, so they'll put it into your Yeah, and.

Speaker 2 (21:11):
We can't even do molly anymore. So stupid, right, I mean, dumb,
it's dumb, like not even straight end for everyone. I know,
what are you doing?

Speaker 1 (21:21):
The cartel? Yeah? Why did you kill us? Because they
want to kill everyone. I don't know, they.

Speaker 2 (21:26):
Want to take over I know, right, I think just
a Mexican cartel.

Speaker 1 (21:31):
Yeah, that's where all the drugs come. I think from
Mexico that come into the US, all of them, most
of them yet got Columbia. Well maybe it starts in Colombia.

Speaker 2 (21:42):
The good stuff, like the.

Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, Yo, that was the real that's
the real stuff.

Speaker 2 (21:48):
And then now it's just straight ship.

Speaker 1 (21:51):
Yeah, don't do drugs, kids, don't do them.

Speaker 2 (21:54):
You don't want to end up like us. Yeah, yeah,
but I mean there are way worse places to end up.
But said, we could be dead, we could Yeah, I
told my friend, I said, I didn't want to celebrate
my last birthday because I was like, fuck, it sucks
getting older. She's like, well, listen, you can have a birthday,
you can have a funeral. I'm like, fuck, I guess

(22:15):
I'll have a party.

Speaker 1 (22:16):
Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2 (22:17):
They don't forget my presence. Ryan came. He brought me
some whack present. It's a candle he found in his
house somewhere, and it was a.

Speaker 1 (22:27):
Gift of a gift. Yeah, it's like Christmas where you
get that was a very random It's like Christmas when
you get Christmas presents. You're like, I I just went,
I'm gonna gift it to someone I don't.

Speaker 2 (22:37):
I got a lot of those from just Ryan and
Will on my birthday.

Speaker 1 (22:40):
Weird. Well, at least they got you something. Yeah, they
ca They came.

Speaker 2 (22:44):
They ate all my food and drank the alcohol I
provided for free. Right.

Speaker 1 (22:48):
They didn't bring any.

Speaker 2 (22:49):
No, they brought some gifts.

Speaker 1 (22:51):
Yeah nice nice So yeah, kids, drugs bad, podcasts good.

Speaker 3 (22:57):
After a word from today's sponsor, we'll get back to
pooh some brandy having something in common. Just keep your
head out of the fucking gutter about it.

Speaker 4 (23:13):
Can't you warn me before you should get back. Hey,
welcome back. I feel angrier than usual. Something's going on.
Let's just dive back into brandy and poopies talking. Someone's
writing me angry.

Speaker 2 (23:26):
So tell me what's next for you? Do you plan
on going back to being crazy poopies on Ganassi.

Speaker 1 (23:31):
Yeah, I'm still crazy poopies, just you know, more organized.
Oh okay, yeah, I actually have like a routine now.
I brush my teeth every morning, thank god.

Speaker 2 (23:42):
Yeah you weren't doing that.

Speaker 1 (23:44):
No, I wasn't. I was drinking slurpees and eating crumb
donuts though. Yeah, it's disgusting. Yeah, and then that's why
I like everyone you see on the streets has slurpees
because they're on drugs.

Speaker 2 (23:58):
Okay, I've always George surpis.

Speaker 1 (24:01):
Well you must be on drugs. I'm just joking.

Speaker 2 (24:04):
My xanax is due for a refill.

Speaker 1 (24:07):
A do the doc for that one?

Speaker 2 (24:12):
Yeah, I know, yeah for sure tomorrow. I haven't get
me this because my anxiety is like.

Speaker 1 (24:17):
Yeah, so I'm sure.

Speaker 2 (24:19):
Yeah, I mean, and usually when I have it, I
just don't.

Speaker 1 (24:22):
I don't take it.

Speaker 2 (24:22):
It's just about having that bottle.

Speaker 1 (24:25):
Yeah, yeah, it's your little your little demon.

Speaker 2 (24:28):
Yeah, I'm like, okay, if I like my little Ryan's
Little Jackety game.

Speaker 1 (24:34):
Nice. Yeah. So yeah, I'm just gonna be still the
same old crazy poopies. But I have a TV show
hopefully coming out soon amazing. It's called What Not to
Do That makes sense? Yeah, so it's me and Torri
Bricelli from MythBusters. Yeah, he's like the host and our
co host, or were kind of both of us as

(24:56):
hosting it. But I go into like these crazy situation
survival situations, and he explains what you're supposed to do,
and I come in I show you what you're not
supposed to do. So I'm very excited about that.

Speaker 2 (25:09):
Are the people around you in on it or not
in on it? It's kind of like a punk situation.

Speaker 1 (25:14):
No, No, it's all. It's all. Everyone's in on it.
They want me to survive. Okay, yeah, I'm trying to survive.
So I'm a good survivor. Survivor. I've died plenty of
times and survived it all. So yeah, the shark attack
was one example. I survived a shark attack a big waves,

(25:36):
big waves, that's a fucking murder. Yeah, I survived. I
went to Jaws and Maw and serve jaws. Oh yeah,
so I survived that motorcycle going once in on the
freeway through cars, survived that.

Speaker 2 (25:48):
So my dad, my dad's like, must be a legend.
He's a fucking legend. You have all of his fingers
with the skill set. Oh shut up, and they put
three back on.

Speaker 1 (25:57):
My dad has no fingers too. Really, he got right
over by train.

Speaker 2 (26:00):
My dad felt was motorcycle on the freeway and without
a helmet and short shorts. He was in the burn
unit for like half my Oh.

Speaker 1 (26:09):
My gosh, that's my worst fear is falling.

Speaker 2 (26:12):
If that's your worst fear, don't tell. Don't ever tell
anyone your worst fear.

Speaker 1 (26:17):
Yeah. Well I still haven't learned. Yeah, yeah, it takes
me like five times to learn something.

Speaker 2 (26:23):
Whenever anyone like if I have to fill that thing,
they said, what are you afraid of? I put this
ship I'm not afraid of.

Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, you're smart, you're smart, so you learn now you're
in the industry.

Speaker 2 (26:33):
Well no, I wouldn't. Just in general, I don't tell
people what I'm afraid of.

Speaker 1 (26:37):
Yeah, because against me. When I first went to the
Jackass crew, they're like, so, what are you guys afraid of?
And we all started telling them what we were afraid of.
Like they're like, oh, well, thanks for telling us, and
I was like, oh fuck dude. Now they're just gonna
fuck with us what we're afraid of. So yeah, they
they got us pretty good. Well we fail for that one. Yeah,
as a as a newcomer, you know, I was just

(26:57):
telling them everything. I'm afraid of snakes, I'm afraid of
what else? Spiders, I'm afraid the dark. So they just
used all against us.

Speaker 2 (27:06):
And those are three things I'm not afraid of.

Speaker 1 (27:08):
You're a badass then boys. Okay, how many boys do
you have too? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (27:14):
Yeah, awesome. And they're like a spider, so I have
to go in and kill I'm like, you guys are
fucking giant children.

Speaker 1 (27:20):
Yeah, yeah, and spider. I was scared of spiders when
I was little too. The daddy long legs. I was
scared of the daddy long R.

Speaker 2 (27:26):
Six six Like they're not little, I know, Daddy long
legs are good.

Speaker 1 (27:31):
They Yeah, now you just get your shoes off and well.

Speaker 2 (27:34):
Yeah, I'm just like you guys, look at how.

Speaker 1 (27:37):
Much you can eat them. You can eat them. I don't.
I don't.

Speaker 2 (27:39):
Yeah, that that's I'm not going to say it's a fear,
but I don't do gross ship like that.

Speaker 1 (27:43):
Really. Yeah, you can eat spiders if they're not poisonous.

Speaker 2 (27:46):
Yeah, I mean they're protein.

Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yeah, and then you let it crawl through your nasal
cavity and out your nose. You have to dream of
mind to eat a spider, have it crawl up in
there and come out my nose. That would be epic.

Speaker 2 (28:00):
So you were gonna swallow it whole.

Speaker 1 (28:01):
Swallow hole a crawl downpefuly it worked its way like
into my nose somehow, I don't think it can though.
I think it's gotta be. I think it's gotta be
nose first, then mouth. Maybe, well you if you can
get down, you can. Got to be like a freaking
best intro ever Welcome to the Shitty's Podcast. And then
the spider comes out of my mouth.

Speaker 2 (28:18):
Yeah, you should get a little tiny baby one and
see and see if you can.

Speaker 1 (28:23):
Yeah. I had an ant the other day crawling on
my finger and I sniffed it and the thing was
still alive up in my nose like oh, and the
thing crawled out onto my face.

Speaker 3 (28:34):
I guess that's just not for viewers anymore.

Speaker 2 (28:38):
I feel like this. It happens a lot when you sleep.

Speaker 1 (28:42):
Yeah. I heard that you eat like ten spiders a year,
swallow them crawling in your mouth.

Speaker 2 (28:48):
I would think, I mean, my dog is all dirty.
He sleeps with me, like, I haven't.

Speaker 1 (28:52):
Miss my dog?

Speaker 2 (28:54):
Do you?

Speaker 1 (28:54):
Where's your dog? He's in a care taking home now
because I'm in a program and they don't like dogs.
Oh I see, so yeah, he's he's in. He's happy though.
He's in a good home. The guy works out of
doggy daycare, so he gets to go to doggy daycare
every day. Fun.

Speaker 2 (29:08):
Yeah, I was going to bring my dog, but Ryan
knows my dog is very bad.

Speaker 1 (29:13):
He really behaved. What kind of dog you have? He
is a pit bull? Oh I love pit bulls.

Speaker 2 (29:20):
BEA's body.

Speaker 1 (29:22):
Oh he's a sweetheart. Then, no he's not. He almost
attacked ring.

Speaker 2 (29:26):
He's met Ryan several times.

Speaker 1 (29:28):
Wow, bad vibes. Then he got the bad vibe. He
just he was a rescue. He got kicked the dog.
Yeah that's why.

Speaker 2 (29:34):
So he bites everyone he abused. Yeah, like I've had
him for ten years now.

Speaker 1 (29:39):
He doesn't trust anyone, but you know, and.

Speaker 2 (29:41):
Even then it's a question mark. No, he's like why
are you, like, why are you so big and leaning over? Yeah?

Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah, they trip out on that. He doesn't like doors either,
they trip out on that stuff. But he also is
just closed doors, no locked doors.

Speaker 2 (29:54):
Nope, Well he's so. He probably does speak Spanish. Yeah
I thought that was Spanish.

Speaker 1 (29:59):
I was actually that was like.

Speaker 2 (30:03):
Netmind.

Speaker 1 (30:04):
Yeah, that was like Spanish. I speak a little bit
of Spanish. Do you speak Spanish? Oh see pequito pinch
a ringo? Oh yes, sech local gringo. That's what they
call me. I kind of make fun of myself then
they start laughing.

Speaker 2 (30:25):
Yeah, that's how you lead with humor.

Speaker 1 (30:28):
Yeah, you got it. Yeah, I love Mexico. I love
Mexico talking about Mexico. No, but we are now are
you still yeah? Are you? Are you guys coming out
with another season of the Real Housewives? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (30:43):
I mean I'm not on Real Housewives anymore.

Speaker 1 (30:45):
They kicked you off?

Speaker 2 (30:47):
Yeah, I got fired him.

Speaker 1 (30:49):
I know.

Speaker 2 (30:49):
All right, Well then they hired too.

Speaker 1 (30:51):
Hot for Hollywood. Too hot for Hollywood they call it.
That's not really what it is.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
But yeah, you know, I I I get I get
fired from things. But then that's actually the only time
I've been fired because then I've just been hired and
hired and well no I got fired yeah twice.

Speaker 1 (31:11):
Okay, I've been fired a lot more than you have.
Oh that's good.

Speaker 2 (31:14):
I mean, not good for you, but good for me.

Speaker 1 (31:16):
Yeah. Yeah, I'd like to fire people. That's that. I've
never done that. That must be a great feeling.

Speaker 2 (31:21):
It's not, I mean, when they deserve it.

Speaker 1 (31:23):
Yeah, yes, it's not like Trump when he goes you're fired.

Speaker 2 (31:26):
No, but I did that show too, you did, Yeah,
his last year, I got fired.

Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yeah, that's pretty cool.

Speaker 2 (31:33):
I mean I made it a long way before I
got fired.

Speaker 1 (31:36):
Well that's good. Yeah. Usually he's like firing people like
the first day. Yeah, yeah, no he did.

Speaker 2 (31:41):
He did fire people every day.

Speaker 1 (31:42):
Yeah. But was the she's kind of intimidating. Now Trump,
I mean, did his wig fall off. No, it was
very glued. It didn't move like he did, be like
who hairspraying moves.

Speaker 2 (31:55):
Yeah, and then he had this like giant fupa was
so disc it's a fat over the top pussy.

Speaker 1 (32:03):
Okay, okay, okay, yeah, okay, all right, the front under up,
a front under pussy.

Speaker 2 (32:13):
The area upper pussy.

Speaker 1 (32:15):
Awesome.

Speaker 2 (32:16):
Yeah, so there's that.

Speaker 1 (32:17):
Yeah, Trump has the food, he's got his wig.

Speaker 2 (32:21):
And he's got yeah he watches this peace mister Trump.

Speaker 1 (32:25):
Trump. Now you can't right, I can't can't even touch us, right,
I would. I would have liked Trump to touch me anyway.

Speaker 2 (32:34):
I don't think anyone wants Trump to touch.

Speaker 1 (32:36):
No freaking dry hands, dirty money, dirty money.

Speaker 2 (32:43):
Could you imagine having to find the penis under the food?

Speaker 1 (32:45):
But I can't even imagine that. Where what's happening? I
see his hair, he's got like a wig for his
dig dude, Yeah, like all cur that orange little yeah, yeah,
that combed over just at the top. Good. He probably

(33:10):
has somebody that does that for him to fire someone today, right,
And I bet yeah, that's a cool show to be
on the Do you get recognized a lot when you're
on about I'd say.

Speaker 2 (33:22):
In like Los Angeles, it's not like I think people
are just used to seeing people that are on TV here,
m hmm. But when I go out of like smaller
towns and stuff, right, that's.

Speaker 1 (33:31):
Kind of how it is like my hometown, Like people
don't give a fuck, And then when I leave my hometown,
everyone's like, oh, let me get a selfie? Yeah, I think.

Speaker 2 (33:38):
And also it's a lot of dudes, right.

Speaker 1 (33:40):
Yeah, yeah, you guys, so yeah that makes sense.

Speaker 2 (33:44):
But no, I'm saying like, for me, I would like
dudes to be like yo, what's that? Yeah, but like
I'm not sleeping with gay men.

Speaker 1 (33:52):
That's cool though. It feels good to get noticed and
stuff like.

Speaker 2 (33:56):
Sometimes you're in a bad food or you look like
ship and you don't want to take the pick what
you can't say no?

Speaker 1 (34:00):
Because so it's like those like freaking magazines. I'm like
a freaking hide yourself.

Speaker 2 (34:08):
Because it's you know, they're going to post it like
oh I look like.

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Sh yeah, yeah, that's what they want to do. They
want to catch you at that worst time.

Speaker 2 (34:17):
Why don't I think that, like with Instagram and stuff
like pop rots, is not as crazy as it used
to be. It's not, I mean, like unless you're like
Britney Spirits. My god, that poor girl.

Speaker 1 (34:26):
I know what's she up to?

Speaker 2 (34:28):
Not?

Speaker 1 (34:29):
Were you guys talking? No?

Speaker 2 (34:30):
No, I mean I sorry at one of our basketball
games because our kids were on the same like many
years ago, but I was scared to go out.

Speaker 1 (34:39):
Yeah, she's so controlled by her parents.

Speaker 2 (34:41):
Well I don't think that's happening anymore. I think that
now she's not and it's a problem.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
Yeah, she needs to be that, she needs to have
a little bit.

Speaker 2 (34:50):
Of that, but not, I feel like, I don't know.
She's a mess.

Speaker 1 (34:54):
Right, it's Britney bitch.

Speaker 2 (34:56):
Britney always like it's Brandy bitch.

Speaker 1 (34:58):
Yeah, there you go.

Speaker 2 (35:00):
It's yeah, it's a problem. So tell me something else.
Mape again. Go ahead, we'll take a fake break.

Speaker 1 (35:08):
This jug of water I have. My eyes are stuck.

Speaker 2 (35:13):
It's awkward because it's like, if I were to drink
it too fast.

Speaker 1 (35:16):
It would spell all the flower in there, the things.
That's ridiculous. Who's producing this show over here? Right? Fired?

Speaker 2 (35:23):
Hello, you're firing.

Speaker 1 (35:24):
Yep, she just fired you. Bye bye, see you tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (35:27):
So I want to know, do you have a five
year plan?

Speaker 1 (35:31):
I take one day at a time. You have to, Yeah,
take one day at a time. I could not tell
you my year plan if I had one.

Speaker 2 (35:38):
Well that's not from that.

Speaker 1 (35:40):
Well she knows my situation, and yeah, she's the best.
She like stuck with me through all the bullshit. That's good. Yeah,
so she's an angel.

Speaker 2 (35:49):
Do you think you'll get married?

Speaker 1 (35:51):
Yeah, one day, definitely. I want to have kids in
a family. I want to like raise a family in
the country.

Speaker 2 (35:57):
In the country.

Speaker 1 (35:58):
Yeah, I want to see my kid on the silo,
climbing the silo like I was no sious the dinner
bell like my mom did, Dinner's ready.

Speaker 2 (36:06):
Yeah, it's like when you call the dogs, like what
is it called theory? You know that you ring the
bell that makes you think dinner's ready and then they
get you inside and yeah, that's really.

Speaker 1 (36:16):
Right, that's what they do dogs.

Speaker 2 (36:20):
It's a long story, but I think I'm partly right.

Speaker 1 (36:24):
Okay, yeah, yeah, for sure, it's out. Yeah, my mom
had the dinner bell.

Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah, because like imagine you.

Speaker 1 (36:30):
Just inside, like I didn't want to be inside inside.
Moms like get outside, right, Yeah. And I had a
leash when I was little because I'd always just like
see something, run towards it and then get lost. We didn't.

Speaker 2 (36:42):
My parents were just like, oh get out, yeah, yeah, okay,
come back with the street lights are on.

Speaker 1 (36:47):
I'm like, okay, that's yeah.

Speaker 2 (36:49):
You got to be back at the party.

Speaker 1 (36:51):
Yeah, you got to be back when the street lights
are on, because yeah, that stuff happens at night. Yeah,
I mean, but yeah, I mean I just been trying
to take one day at a time and focus on
myself and my sobriety and things. Every day gets better.

Speaker 2 (37:06):
Do you miss slurpees?

Speaker 1 (37:09):
Not really? It kind of triggers me. Oh okay, so
I stay away from the slurpeing machine.

Speaker 2 (37:14):
You see the same thing.

Speaker 1 (37:16):
They're the same thing. Yeah, cold frozen beverage. It tastes
like candy. Yeah, but yeah, do you chug icy though,
you get the worst brain freeze in the world.

Speaker 2 (37:27):
I can't chug one. Oh you can, I couldn't.

Speaker 1 (37:31):
You can't with a straw.

Speaker 2 (37:33):
No, I get brain freeze with the straw.

Speaker 1 (37:34):
That's what you want to get it. And then you
start like it's like that one movie.

Speaker 2 (37:41):
That's where I get my slurpez is that's the movie?
Or my icy?

Speaker 1 (37:44):
Yeah, they have the icy machines so stupid. I remember Jackass.
We did an ad for Icy during the Jackass promotion
That one sucked. Yeah one sucked. I got the worst
brain freeze ever.

Speaker 2 (37:58):
I can imagine it is bad. So Valentine's Days around
the corner.

Speaker 1 (38:02):
Of February fourteen, Yeah, I'm broke as fuck. So I
don't know what do you.

Speaker 2 (38:08):
Think about that stupid day? In general?

Speaker 1 (38:10):
I mean it's for Cupid. You know it's for the lovers,
which I love.

Speaker 2 (38:14):
So it's not for lovers, it's not for retail.

Speaker 1 (38:17):
It's actually scam.

Speaker 2 (38:18):
It's a scam.

Speaker 1 (38:20):
Well, I'll buy some flowers and take my girlfriend out
to a nice dinner because you're told you have to.
Why don't you just do that?

Speaker 2 (38:25):
When I tell you I.

Speaker 1 (38:27):
Think every holiday is a scam, then I agree, except
Halloween except for.

Speaker 2 (38:31):
No, Yeah, because you get candy, but.

Speaker 1 (38:33):
You get the dress up and scare people.

Speaker 2 (38:35):
That's true. I really that was my favorite holiday when
we were little, because we couldn't have candy, and so
we were just like feening for it.

Speaker 1 (38:41):
Oh yeah, oh yeah. It's like it's a it's like
a competition, who can get more candy?

Speaker 2 (38:45):
Yeah. And then my parents would have to go through
it for razor blades. Now they have to go through
it for fentanyl.

Speaker 1 (38:49):
Yeah. Yeah. I can't imagine Halloween in five years. Fuck,
we will have it.

Speaker 2 (38:55):
It will be like you can only see your twelve friends,
I know, exactly.

Speaker 1 (39:00):
Just got to go to a good neighborhood.

Speaker 2 (39:01):
That's what I mean. That's what we would do.

Speaker 1 (39:02):
We go to better.

Speaker 2 (39:03):
Neighborhoods, beevery Hills or something. The big candy bars. Yeah,
all the people in our neighborhood would have their lights off.
They were like, don't really up here. My mom wasn't
passing out candy. But yeah, we had a lot of
wrenchers in our neighborhood.

Speaker 1 (39:17):
Okay, so it's a little rough. Yeah say that.

Speaker 3 (39:20):
Well you all know my answer. This isn't a place
for fucking kids. Wait, can we get that edge out?
Get that take it out, take it out. If that
gets out there, someone's having a field deck.

Speaker 1 (39:30):
I remember this one Halloween. I took my dad's weed whacker. Oh,
and I took the string out of it, and then
I'd freaking pop out of my fence and come out
with the weed whackers and scare the kids.

Speaker 2 (39:43):
I would have a heart attack.

Speaker 1 (39:44):
It was so fun for you.

Speaker 2 (39:47):
That's why I don't go to like I could.

Speaker 1 (39:49):
Get so close because there's no string on it.

Speaker 2 (39:51):
That means but isn't it still like you can't touch them?

Speaker 1 (39:53):
Yeah? I was going to say, but yeah, I was
like a horror movie with a weed whacker. It's pretty cool.
I was like, dude, I'm doing it. I'm scaring people
because I would go into the haunted houses when I
was little. These fuckers would come out with chainsaws and
ship and they get so fucking close to me. I'm like, dude,
back off.

Speaker 2 (40:09):
I've got groped in a couple of hundred houses when
I was.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
Yeah, that's kind of a dangerous place to go if
you're a girl.

Speaker 2 (40:15):
And you're young, Like, yeah, it's like under the age
of twelve.

Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, that's not cool. Not cool.

Speaker 2 (40:20):
They were, They would grope us.

Speaker 1 (40:22):
That's gnarly. Those guys deserve to be doing They deserve
to be in jail.

Speaker 2 (40:27):
Yeah, they absolutely do. Sure, but you know it's not
like they I d'd us at the house.

Speaker 1 (40:33):
They just want your money.

Speaker 2 (40:34):
Yeah, they're just like get in, get out, like.

Speaker 1 (40:36):
We'll take your money, scare the shit out of you,
grope you, and now you're traumatize for the rest of
your life. Welcome you to the horror house. It's called
the whorehouse, the horror House.

Speaker 2 (40:44):
Yes, that's so smart.

Speaker 1 (40:46):
I'm smart.

Speaker 2 (40:47):
Your brain works.

Speaker 1 (40:48):
When's your birthday? It's October twenty First talk. You're a
scorpio libra. I'm on the cuspops.

Speaker 2 (40:54):
Oh right, I'm a scorpio.

Speaker 1 (40:56):
You're seeing like a scorpion.

Speaker 2 (40:58):
Now that's a problem.

Speaker 1 (40:59):
I'm a lead, I'm a line zebra.

Speaker 2 (41:02):
Oh libras, I was, I don't think I know any
libras and zebra.

Speaker 1 (41:07):
So when is this go to scripya? I think it's
on A twenty third or I think you're right on
the R twenty third.

Speaker 2 (41:15):
Yeah, I'm smart, all right, Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 1 (41:18):
I don't know. I'm so dumb. The other day, my
friend was like, what's your sign? And I was like,
I didn't really want to tell him. I was like, oh, zodiac,
and Zodiac is just like the whole thing. Yeah, yeah,
it's all together. And they started laughing, Like what are
guys laughing at? They're like nothing, But yeah, I thought
that zodiac was a sign.

Speaker 2 (41:37):
Well it is a sign of all of the signs.

Speaker 1 (41:39):
Yeah. You'd have to be born every month.

Speaker 2 (41:41):
Yeah, which is twelve times a year.

Speaker 1 (41:44):
Yeah, how can you do that?

Speaker 2 (41:45):
That would be impossible because it takes nine months to
get pregnant, right duh, Like you could say it once
a year.

Speaker 1 (41:51):
You'd have to be like in a sperm. You'd have
to be sperm.

Speaker 2 (41:55):
You would have to be like in very you know what.

Speaker 1 (41:58):
Yeah, it was gonnay, this is your birthday every month?
You can like celebrate it, you can celebrate I don't
know now, but that's my idea. That's my idea. You know,
I'm probably yeah, I'm probably not that educated. So well,
I mean, you got your g ED, so fuck it.
I don't actually have the fucking diploma thing.

Speaker 2 (42:21):
You never got me. You got it, but you don't.

Speaker 1 (42:23):
They said I passed it, but they never received it
in the.

Speaker 2 (42:25):
Mail, so they could be lying to you, and you don't.

Speaker 1 (42:28):
And I want to go back and search for it,
and I never got it, so I gave up on
my getting it.

Speaker 2 (42:34):
Why I feel like.

Speaker 1 (42:37):
The boys for you? Yea Vista Community Transitional school or
some ship night school? Was it night school? No, it
wasn't night school.

Speaker 2 (42:49):
A lot of girls got pregnant in my high school
had to go to night school.

Speaker 1 (42:52):
Yeah. Yeah, my mom was actually the teacher of the
g D school. Oh so I spent a lot of.

Speaker 2 (42:57):
Time to take that test four times. Wow.

Speaker 1 (43:00):
Yeah. I wasn't really focused on that, you know, I
was focused on going skateboarding or surfing, or rousting the tourists,
roasting or messing with the homeless. Oh that's always horrible. Yeah,
what about that was a lot of fun. Until you
get choked out.

Speaker 2 (43:17):
Yeah, that's not fun.

Speaker 1 (43:19):
Girls. I've really into girls because they were into me.
My name was Poopies. Yeah, so they're like, I tell
the boys we go to parties. I'd be like, boys,
do not call me Poopies tonight. You know, I'm trying
to get some puss. Yeah, And next thing you know,
Poopies had me a beer and they're like, what why
do they call you Poopies? And they're like, okay, we're

(43:39):
not talking to him. Yeah, i'd be so pissed at
the boys, but.

Speaker 2 (43:42):
Yeah, they did it on purpose. They were called Yeah,
they're like very tracked of blue eyes.

Speaker 1 (43:47):
They were like yeah they're yeah, they're definitely cold blocking
and then like yeah, then, so I didn't lose my
virginity U till I was like twenty years old. Fuck off.

Speaker 2 (43:57):
My brother didn't lose his until he was married.

Speaker 1 (44:00):
Girl, that's good. She pretty much took me home, like
tracked me home with her.

Speaker 2 (44:05):
Okay, so not like a high on the testosterone sitch.

Speaker 1 (44:09):
No, yeah, she was high on the testosterone. I was
just some gram who's drunk, and I was like, I'm
going to get laid tonight. And I remember that night
I lost my virginity. Next morning, I'm walking back to
the surf shop picking flowers and leaves off the bushes.
I go back to the surf shop, I go, guys,
I lost my virginity.

Speaker 2 (44:28):
And they were excited for Yeah.

Speaker 1 (44:29):
They're pumped. But it was like the biggest town.

Speaker 2 (44:35):
Scandal. Oh, well, you don't slut shame here. Yeah, she
was a little bit.

Speaker 1 (44:41):
She has like five kids. Now, well I wonder why,
Oh yeah, yeah, but she's she's still in Carlsbad, and
she lives next to my friend Joe, which is my
best friend. So sometimes I have to see her and
she wants to talk to me and stuff. I'm like, no,
please stay away. You think she remembers, Oh she knows,
she knows she took my virginity. Yeah, she has my

(45:02):
v card and I try to stay away from her.
But she lives right next to my friend that lives
like so close. They live in an apartment complex. And
when I found out my friend was moving to that
apartment complex, it was like, dude, fuck Nikki Rici lives
right there.

Speaker 2 (45:18):
Oh not Nicky.

Speaker 1 (45:20):
Yeah, she was a Hooters girl. But I was like,
I've lost my virginity. To do a Hooters girl. That's hot.
My girlfriend doesn't even know this. Oh god, right there,
but she's learning today. You learned. I love you.

Speaker 2 (45:31):
I mean we all have our we will lose our
virginity to.

Speaker 1 (45:34):
Someone, Yeah, we do. Yeah, I mean like you're never
like a thirty six year old virgin, you know, but
that would be nice though, you know, you know you're
supposed to get married. You're supposed to get married.

Speaker 2 (45:45):
Then losing My parents try to tell me too. And
then I I was the last one to lose my
virginia all my friends.

Speaker 1 (45:55):
And then like the normal age, I think, no, no.

Speaker 2 (45:58):
Now it's like fourteen. I was seventeen. I like, slow
it down, and they're like, don't why. I'm like, you're
calling your mother a whore, like you just don't wind mean,
I was fucking seventeen.

Speaker 1 (46:13):
Boys are just like people are doing things early now. Yeah,
I was like really scared of it. Like I was
really shy of showing my penis penis to the girls
because it was small. So I remember, like this chick
wanted to give me a blowjob, and all the boys
are like poopies. This chick wants to give you a blowjob,
Like you're on tonight.

Speaker 2 (46:31):
We're at everyone was watching.

Speaker 1 (46:34):
Oh yeah, they were loving it. They're like, we set
poopies up with the chick. He's gonna get a blowjob tonight.
And then I go down We're at my local beach
and there's this like there's these beach houses right on
the beach and there's a stairway that goes down the beach.
So all the boys would get blow jobs under this stairwell,
and they it was my turn. Yeah, and I go
down there with this chick, and I was so fucking scared.

(46:54):
I told the chick, I go, will you just like
tell everyone you gave me a blowjob?

Speaker 2 (46:58):
Oh wow?

Speaker 1 (46:58):
So you so yeah, we went back zipping up my pants,
you know, and I was like, she told everyone I
gave him, gave me a blowjob, And then the boys
found out I was lying. Two weeks later, she had
to help because she's yeah, she ended up like leaking it,
like I didn't give him a blowjob. Something happened, like
she leaked it out that it wasn't a real blow job.

(47:19):
And yeah, so I got rousted so hard I can imagine.

Speaker 2 (47:23):
I mean, yeah, who turns down a blowjob?

Speaker 1 (47:25):
Really? I mean I did yeah, I did, because I
was just scared of her telling everyone that I had
a small dick. I mean, because that's like that was like,
that's like your worst fear when you're a kid, you know,
having some tick going around high school saying that you
have a small dick. Well, I mean I.

Speaker 2 (47:41):
Think that we say it about guys that even don't
have small dicks, just to be mean.

Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yeah, yeah that's true. That's so mean. Yeah, that is
a go to for girls. Yeah, so that's why I
didn't want that to happen. So I kind of told
her just tell the boys you gave me one, we're
not going to do it now. So my first blow
job wasn't even a.

Speaker 2 (48:00):
Job that definitely would not count.

Speaker 1 (48:03):
No, it didn't count.

Speaker 2 (48:04):
Well, congratulations though in general everything.

Speaker 1 (48:07):
Thanks. Yeah, that's the story of my sex life when
I was a kid.

Speaker 3 (48:12):
We'll be right back after a very shitty break, but
first a cold shower and today's sponsor. Well, fuck, you
guys have kept me here long enough. You need a
bit of a recharge.

Speaker 1 (48:30):
Welcome back, little poops.

Speaker 3 (48:32):
Let's see what's on Poopy's mind now, you guys know.

Speaker 2 (48:35):
Yeah, I feel like you.

Speaker 1 (48:37):
But now it's funny because in Jackass you can see
my penis all over the screen. Oh really, yeah, yeah,
if you haven't watched it, go see my little penis.
So on the movie Jackass you can see my little PP.
No homophobic because me and Dave England, we weren't touching penises.

Speaker 2 (48:56):
So did you say yours is about the size of
a hand.

Speaker 1 (48:58):
No, No, I can't. You'll you have to see. I
don't want to really talk about the size of my PP.

Speaker 2 (49:05):
And you.

Speaker 1 (49:08):
Look, you can go look watch the movie.

Speaker 2 (49:12):
I think I've seen the movies.

Speaker 1 (49:13):
Yeah, well the new one is called Jackass Forever, and
there's Jackass four point five, which is on Netflix. But yeah,
me and Dave England, they built us this contraption where
we have to like smush our dicks.

Speaker 2 (49:25):
It's like a ma for the penis.

Speaker 1 (49:26):
Yeah, they have like this this plastic, clear plastic thing
where there's one side and the other and we both
put our dicks in there, and they have the wing nuts,
so they're screwing the wing nuts all around and it
gets tighter and tighter and tighter. And I never thought
my fucking dick could get that fucking cringed width wise,
So yeah, it hurt and then we used a jump

(49:47):
rope and me and him were jumping the jump rope
and dude, mine slipped.

Speaker 2 (49:51):
Out with your your jump penis.

Speaker 1 (49:54):
Yeah, like smushed together with Dave England's penis. Like there's
no way. It's like a Chinese fly trap or finger trap. Yeah.
So it's like that, but with like a jump rope
with some plastics smushing them in a jump rope. So
we both had to jump one person. I had to
jump you.

Speaker 2 (50:16):
Yeah, so you had to be completely en sync.

Speaker 1 (50:19):
Yes, I was in. I was like a puppet. Yeah,
supposed to be right. So yeah, so it was like
so yeah, and then I finally pulled mine out. I
was like, I'm over this. I pulled mine out and
it hurts so freaking bad.

Speaker 2 (50:32):
Did you damage? Like, is there a nerve damage?

Speaker 1 (50:34):
No, there's no damage, but I didn't touch it. I
didn't play with it for a few days. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
it's time out, time out for him.

Speaker 2 (50:45):
That just makes me like, yeah, nails on a chalkboard.

Speaker 1 (50:47):
Yeah.

Speaker 2 (50:49):
So yeah, sure that you can still have children.

Speaker 1 (50:52):
Yes, I'm pretty sure. But that was like my worst
fear became reality because I didn't want to show my
penis on to anyone, you know.

Speaker 2 (51:00):
Yeah, but once you get over your worst sphere, it's
like fuck it.

Speaker 1 (51:03):
Yeah. I was like, fucking, I'm on jackass. You guys
want to see my dad? Here it is and scene. Yeah. Yeah.
So that was a big, big step for me because
I didn't know I was going to show it that
day and they're like, oh, yeah, well you're gonna do
this bit. And I didn't shave. I have like a
seventies bush. Oh I like that, So it made my
dick look even smaller.

Speaker 2 (51:22):
That's what guys do know when they have small dicks,
is they shave. They wax their balls and they shave
the top of it. So they just have like it's
it's an illusion, ladies, right, yeah.

Speaker 1 (51:31):
Yeah, because my pubes were definitely freaking making it like smaller. Yeah.
And then I asked them to use the scissors that
were in the office and like, what are you going
to use the scissors for? I was like, cut my pubes.
You're like, yeah, right, we use the scissor to cut
up envelopes and they like, they're not, You're not using
it to cut your pubes. I was like, fuck, I'm fucked.

Speaker 2 (51:48):
Yeah, But then now you feel free with it.

Speaker 1 (51:50):
Yeah, now you can see the smallest dick ever on
Jackass forever. Don't say that. My girlfriend's right here. Who
knows it's big, babe? It's big. Now it's huge. No,
I'm sober. It's getting growing.

Speaker 2 (52:05):
Yeah, I mean I'm not.

Speaker 1 (52:07):
It was growing. She's like, your penis is growing, and
I was like, yeah, babe, you're growing. Thanks. Do I
have any questions? Yeah?

Speaker 2 (52:17):
Well because it was because I'm in charge, she is.

Speaker 1 (52:20):
Women are always in control.

Speaker 3 (52:22):
I remember taking that advice once, got my ship pushed
in and couldn't sit down for a fucking week.

Speaker 1 (52:28):
That's right. Do you feel like a puppet Sometimes in
the reality TV shows, do they like is it all real?

Speaker 2 (52:34):
I mean?

Speaker 1 (52:35):
Or is it scripted? It's not.

Speaker 2 (52:37):
I have never done a reality show that's scripted.

Speaker 1 (52:39):
So okay, that's good. Yeah. So you cause the drama, Yeah,
I get the drama happens.

Speaker 2 (52:45):
So I just feel like I feel like people self produce,
if that makes sense out of me. But if you're
in like a like a housewage situation for long enough,
you can to become a version of yourself.

Speaker 1 (53:01):
I see, you know what I mean? Become that character?

Speaker 2 (53:04):
Yeah, you become this tightened person.

Speaker 1 (53:06):
That's your character.

Speaker 2 (53:07):
Well, I'm I say fuck, and I'm garbage because I
say fuck. Okay, I'm trash, I white trash. Apparently like
my Chardina, I'm always drunk, always like driving here.

Speaker 1 (53:18):
Yeah, that's like that's a must if you're in the Housewives.

Speaker 2 (53:21):
Yeah, I mean, but like that's what people would say.
So they like drunk swearing and yelling.

Speaker 1 (53:27):
Body mouth and she's an alcoholic.

Speaker 2 (53:29):
Yeah, basically that's my that's my character.

Speaker 1 (53:31):
Oh that's good.

Speaker 2 (53:32):
That's about alcoholic hell yeah, kind of stuck.

Speaker 1 (53:35):
Yeah, well, if you're ready to get sober.

Speaker 2 (53:39):
Trust sober people.

Speaker 1 (53:40):
But I really like you. Thanks, Thanks, Yes, I understand.
I understand.

Speaker 2 (53:45):
They scare me a little bit.

Speaker 1 (53:47):
You drink a lot.

Speaker 2 (53:49):
Ryan drinks more than I drink. Who's Ryan Ryan, our producer?

Speaker 1 (53:52):
Okay drinks a lot? Okay, yeah yeah every day. Well
he lives in la and he lives in Hollywood.

Speaker 2 (53:59):
Yeah right, we love and los felss los Felice.

Speaker 1 (54:02):
Say that she's trying to change the subject about her alcoholism.
I don't, honestly, you know, I'm not.

Speaker 2 (54:09):
I drank a bottle of wine last night, but over
like four hours. Okay, what kind I had Starborough Savig fan.

Speaker 1 (54:20):
Fancy you drink with your pinky out?

Speaker 2 (54:22):
Do I? I don't think so, but I have to
have a stem. I don't like when people give you
a vase for a glass like this is the great.

Speaker 1 (54:30):
She needs some wine in there? Dude, where's the bottle?
You got an uber, didn't you? No, I'm a driver,
Oh good, good, good, Well there's always uber. You know.
I would leave my car places and be like, fuck
my car.

Speaker 2 (54:42):
I do I do that as well, like if I'm dry,
like I generally?

Speaker 1 (54:45):
Yeah, do you have any duys?

Speaker 2 (54:46):
I have one two thousand and nine. I had it expunged.

Speaker 1 (54:50):
Oh damn, a lot of money to spunge it. Yeah,
I don't know how I don't have a DUI.

Speaker 2 (54:56):
That's amazing.

Speaker 1 (54:57):
Yeah. I've fucking drove drunk like every day for like
five years straight and I never got a d why.
You know what's funny is the last time I got
pulled over, the cops recognized me.

Speaker 2 (55:09):
Were they They're like, oh, you must be wasted.

Speaker 1 (55:11):
Oh I was on Mollie. I was hammered, and they go, wait,
you're poopies from Jackass And I go yeah. They go, oh,
here's your idea you have a great night. And I
was like, holy shit. And I was right next to
the Jackass office too, like right there, lucky lucky. Yeah,
And that happened twice that sure.

Speaker 2 (55:30):
I always get a ticket if I get pulled. I'm
very angry if I get pulled over. I got a
ticket for an unsafe lane change.

Speaker 1 (55:36):
Really, what the fuck is that? And that's exactly why
I did the cop. What the Yeah, I've been pulled
over by an undercover cop because I was going too
fast on the freeway. How does that switches?

Speaker 2 (55:47):
That's called you got played? Because that was not an
undercover cop. It was just some random person that pulled
you over.

Speaker 1 (55:53):
Yeah, No, I think it was a real undercover cop.
He was just really worried that I was gonna hurt someone.

Speaker 2 (55:58):
So how did he pull you over? If he was
under cover?

Speaker 1 (56:01):
He had he had the lights on the window.

Speaker 2 (56:03):
That's shady. I don't know if you can buy that online?

Speaker 1 (56:06):
And I was so scared and I was like, he's like,
why are you driving? So you can buy those online?
You can? You can. I actually had a megaphone that
I bought from the hardware store. You can have people
and put on the sirn and you can.

Speaker 2 (56:21):
Buy pretty much anything. There's a spy shop. You can
get like all the gear that James Bond had pen
with a little camera in it.

Speaker 1 (56:28):
Damn. I actually watched the James Bond movie where he's
trying to save the girl's life and this house is sinking.

Speaker 2 (56:35):
That's like all of them.

Speaker 1 (56:36):
Yeah, yeah, oh that was horrible. I was. And then
like she they actually fell in love though they're in love,
but she stole his money, yeah, but money and then
killed herself. She put herself in the elevator when the
house was sinking, in the cage and he was trying
to open the cage. He couldn't opened it this time,
he couldn't opened. Yeah. And then it was like ship

(56:57):
and yeah, she died and he was devastated.

Speaker 2 (57:01):
It's good that they died together kind of yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:05):
I guess. So that's when they rolled the car. It
was it was actually the most times the car has
ever been.

Speaker 2 (57:10):
Rolled, and the Jameson movie, uh huh.

Speaker 1 (57:13):
Six times they have it like in a display and ship.
Now I think it was like a not a Lamborghini.
I forget what kind of car it was.

Speaker 2 (57:24):
Or something, because you know, could they get the sponsors
for those like they get like and there's like all out. Yeah,
I mean that would be great, right.

Speaker 1 (57:33):
I mean I'm too I'm too much of a liability though.

Speaker 2 (57:37):
Well, I mean yeah.

Speaker 1 (57:39):
They won't even sponsor me. Well give it.

Speaker 2 (57:41):
A minute, maybe once you're like, so I feel like.

Speaker 1 (57:45):
It was my AUDI sponsor. That'd be sick.

Speaker 2 (57:49):
I like it.

Speaker 1 (57:50):
I'll take one too, right, Yeah, I get hook up Brandy.
We'll do a little ad and collab for you.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Yeah, that's just what they want.

Speaker 1 (57:57):
Where's the Audi CEO? Yeah, I'll be funny. Here's some wine, Brandy.

Speaker 2 (58:01):
I just relaxed, and then we have Kanye in the back,
Kanye a baby baby.

Speaker 1 (58:08):
You know what's funny though, is my girlfriend has the
same birthday as Kanye and I have the same birthday
as what's her name his ex girlfriend.

Speaker 2 (58:17):
Kim Kardashah huh. I have the same birthday as Lisa Bonet.

Speaker 1 (58:20):
No way, I don't even know who that is. I
feel bad.

Speaker 2 (58:23):
I would you not ever say that?

Speaker 1 (58:26):
I did?

Speaker 2 (58:26):
Jason Momo. She was on the Coost Show.

Speaker 1 (58:28):
Jason Momo is the boy's right.

Speaker 2 (58:31):
But his wife mother, so like, yeah, oh we referenced
her now because she was a huge star.

Speaker 1 (58:40):
Okay, just stunning. Yeah, Jason Momo. He's from Hawaii. Yeah,
he's one of the boys. Yeah, so well that's cool. Yeah,
because my girlfriend told me that, and I was like, well,
that's pretty weird. Like maybe you guys just vibe like
certain people are. Yeah, we're connected definitely. Like she feels
like when I'm away, she like feels like when I'm

(59:01):
in trouble or something sketchy, she can feel it. Yeah,
it's crazy, but I can't feel if she's like I
can't really feel if she's in trouble. Because the other day,
she was sleeping and she said she was sick, and
I called nine one one because I thought she was
like choking on her throw up or like cough so much. No,

(59:22):
I was in my program and she was at home,
so I was like freaking out. I called nine one
one and she was just sleeping. So that's how much
I care about it.

Speaker 2 (59:33):
You know, they're going to start charging people for calling
nine one one an emergency.

Speaker 1 (59:38):
Well, I'll give them the fake debit card number, and
if I'm tying to me, I'll be in the in
the ocean. You know, you can't find me there. Well
that's how I ran from the cops. When we were younger,
we'd go yeah, yeah, we'd go surf.

Speaker 2 (59:51):
That's smart.

Speaker 1 (59:52):
Yeah, what's happening your uber drivers here? Yeah? Like I
did a show with Chong.

Speaker 2 (01:00:04):
I guess he's just yeah. So he had this like
we were smoking weed and he had like some little
talk show. He was the coolest guy, and then he
wanted to go do others. I just called my dad
and like I just smokee weed with like Chong, Like,
who's Chong?

Speaker 1 (01:00:18):
Like? But he did. He's an old timer though, probably.

Speaker 2 (01:00:23):
Yeah my dad. Yeah, but my dad's like also a
big pot. He was a big pot smoker. And we
named our dogs Cheach and Chong then died and we
just had Chong oh, and it was like.

Speaker 1 (01:00:32):
Weird happened to did she die? He don't he Cheach anywhere?
You know?

Speaker 2 (01:00:37):
I think he might be dead or under a bridge, Yeah, hopefully.

Speaker 1 (01:00:41):
No, I'm just choking. I'm just joking. I'm trying to
get Cheech and Chong on the podcast.

Speaker 2 (01:00:44):
Let's do it will come.

Speaker 1 (01:00:47):
I know Chong will, but we want Cheach, Like I
think he's dead. He's no, Yeah, there's no way that
would be all over the news.

Speaker 2 (01:00:54):
I think he died like ten years.

Speaker 1 (01:00:55):
I got some secret information that no one knows though,
the guy from the Sopranos, not Sopranos. But what's the
other movie they made it into a movie, Babe, what
is it? Your favorite movie? Yeah, Good Fellas. What's his name?
The top? No, Robert de Niro.

Speaker 2 (01:01:19):
Yeah, he's at the Beverly Hills Hotel all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:01:22):
He passed away. Yes, it's exclusive information. It's not true, yeah,
Robert not. I'm thinking of Alba.

Speaker 2 (01:01:31):
Is that the Beverly Hills lives in New York.

Speaker 1 (01:01:33):
He's no, he passed away a couple of months ago,
but they're not releasing his death. Oh, it's like a
conspiracy theory.

Speaker 2 (01:01:40):
Why.

Speaker 1 (01:01:40):
I don't know, because he's such a legend. No, people
will do suicide. They'll be on suicide watch if they
know he passed away.

Speaker 2 (01:01:46):
I mean, yeah, I'm feeling some sort of way right. Yeah, Well,
it's inside information.

Speaker 1 (01:01:53):
Poopy's nose. I got the freaking sources, dog, Hollywood sources.
Robert de Niro. See, I told you, dude, I'm not lying.
I mean, it's sad. It's sad they won't release his
death though.

Speaker 2 (01:02:11):
But you know what Christmas and all the kids were
like making up things about people dying.

Speaker 1 (01:02:15):
This one's real though. This I got good sources. It's true.
It's sad though he hasn't been seeing the robber de Naro.
We love you. If everyone's seen this, just say a
prayer for his family. Yeah, he's not with us anymore,
poor guy. But yeah, I just released that information to
the whole world. Or you did, she did she did?

(01:02:38):
You did it?

Speaker 2 (01:02:39):
Why do I take the fall for everything with.

Speaker 1 (01:02:45):
It's okay. I'd just found out what gaslight means the
other day.

Speaker 2 (01:02:48):
That word in itself is so fucking annoying. If I
hear it one more time.

Speaker 1 (01:02:53):
I just found out what it is. I'm like, what's gaslight?

Speaker 2 (01:02:55):
It's like when you poke someone and try to manipulate
them into like what you want. We wrote that shit
a long time.

Speaker 1 (01:03:02):
Ago, right, you guys do? Yeah, these kids these days,
they come with the weirdest words. No, my kids are
very like bat. What's bat mean?

Speaker 2 (01:03:11):
There's a lot of ones I don't know. I'm not
allowed to say. There's one that's called cut cut.

Speaker 1 (01:03:17):
I don't know what it means.

Speaker 2 (01:03:19):
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:03:19):
I thought they're saying because.

Speaker 2 (01:03:20):
There's a lingo invited to said the other day, and
I said it in the wrong way. I said out
of pocket. But like, my kids don't think I'm cool
enough to say out of pocket.

Speaker 1 (01:03:30):
That's not cool of them. Their assholeds. Moms are always
the coolest, you know, like my mom is the coolest
they know.

Speaker 2 (01:03:35):
But they're just like, please don't so I say it
in the wrong way.

Speaker 1 (01:03:38):
Just the at them. Yeah, that's so good. You gotta
do that from their friends. No, I do awesome, trust me.
I can't wait to have kids so I can embarrass
the ship.

Speaker 2 (01:03:46):
Out of them, the whole thing. Right, Yeah, that's exactly
what I do. Not so we do.

Speaker 1 (01:03:52):
Yeah, then they start crying and then you gotta then
you gotta buy them or take them to Disneyland or something.

Speaker 2 (01:03:56):
Yeah, you have to bribe them. I mean they take
all your money anyways.

Speaker 1 (01:04:00):
Right, I can't wait all the dollars. Kids perfect, Well,
they're having memories or you know, experiences.

Speaker 2 (01:04:07):
In life, or they're just playing video games all day
and sitting in the rooms.

Speaker 1 (01:04:10):
Yeah, most of them do. Like they're gonna have their
next going to start like.

Speaker 2 (01:04:14):
This, like that technic thing technique.

Speaker 1 (01:04:18):
Yeah, it's a real.

Speaker 2 (01:04:19):
Thing and people walk around like this.

Speaker 1 (01:04:22):
I'm gonna have a fucking neck brace on my kid
before it even gets a phone.

Speaker 2 (01:04:26):
I bought this have to be like I put up
my pillows to do my computer.

Speaker 1 (01:04:31):
I don't get that's good. Oh yeah, gotta worry about those.
When you get to a certain will fix that.

Speaker 2 (01:04:37):
No, like certain ages, like you got lax skin.

Speaker 1 (01:04:41):
Okay, well your neck looks good, no wrinkles. Well that's
because I type like this. Yeah right, I know, dude.
I think I have a five chin sometimes and I'm like,
I need to get in my in my chin. You
got any recommendations, any doctor's life posuctions? I could find
one cool.

Speaker 2 (01:04:58):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:04:58):
When I get older, though, when I get I feel
I think you need it.

Speaker 2 (01:05:02):
I feel like less is more with guys, and guys
like do ship to their face?

Speaker 1 (01:05:08):
Yeah, I don't know trump. Yeah, they called me five
chin and it really fucking got to me and my
insecurities fucking.

Speaker 2 (01:05:18):
Realized like when they do that ship like it's you laugh,
but it really does hurt your feelings. Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:05:22):
And then I had alopecia, Oh ship on my face,
and then fuck I'd be all drunk and sloppy my
friend made it instagrama called alopecia Darryl, and he'd get
me when I was so fucked up and had my
five chin, didn't shave, had my alopecia.

Speaker 2 (01:05:37):
It's the worst alopecia is when your hair falls out.

Speaker 1 (01:05:40):
Yeah, but I had it on my face.

Speaker 2 (01:05:41):
So you had just no hair on your face.

Speaker 1 (01:05:43):
No, it's spots.

Speaker 2 (01:05:43):
Oh oh, I see, so you didn't shave the other spots.

Speaker 1 (01:05:47):
No, I wouldn't. Well, I would shave everything that I
didn't look like out of alopecia. When I didn't shave
for a couple of days, you could see the alopecia face.
There's a word for it. It's like face alopecia or
some ship.

Speaker 2 (01:05:59):
But that's two words.

Speaker 1 (01:06:00):
But I feel yeah, dude, that's when they.

Speaker 2 (01:06:03):
No, it's like a stress thing.

Speaker 1 (01:06:06):
Yeah. Actually, you know how you get Athletes's fleet had
athleteses lip from doing shoeies out of the shoe, shogging
beer out of a shoe. So my friend came back
from New Zealand or Africa and he didn't wear socks
the whole trip, and I took his shoe and I
fucking did a shoey out of it, and then I
had this rash on my lips. I try to cover

(01:06:27):
it up. It's like a fungus. Yeah, I was a fungus.
And then I went to the CBS and my friend's like,
what is this fucking thing on his lip? Like he's
like too scared to tell you about it, like lips syphilis? No,
not syphilis, but yeah. Then I like, she's like, oh,
and I told her what happened. I was drinking out
of the shoe. My friend never wore socks out of it,

(01:06:47):
and they said it was athlete slip. Yeah that makes sense.
And then I had medication, got tooken care of. But yeah,
we go through our struggles, you know.

Speaker 2 (01:06:55):
I mean, listen, I feel for you. I have like
a fungal infection. I had to take my fake nails off.
Oh way, really, I'm like, I hide my hands now.
But I have to give him a break from the
fake ones, because.

Speaker 1 (01:07:07):
Just put them in lotion.

Speaker 2 (01:07:08):
No, that's the opposite of what you have to do.

Speaker 1 (01:07:10):
Oh really, Yeah, don't listen to me that you don't.

Speaker 2 (01:07:12):
Want any moisture on a fungus.

Speaker 1 (01:07:13):
Oh really, that.

Speaker 2 (01:07:15):
Sounds moisture and fungus.

Speaker 1 (01:07:18):
Smart.

Speaker 2 (01:07:19):
Yeah, all right, so I guess that's it.

Speaker 1 (01:07:21):
Yeah, Bill, it was great to get to know you
and you too. I wish the best for you and
thank you. Good luck on your success and he's already successful,
but yeah.

Speaker 2 (01:07:32):
Good luck on like everything. And I think that you're
in a good head space, thank you. And you're at
a good age. So it's time to get your ship together.

Speaker 1 (01:07:39):
I know you got to pack it up. Poopy, Yeah,
more poopy. I know. It's exciting and excited. I'm finally
becoming an adult.

Speaker 2 (01:07:48):
Crazy Listen, it takes us all a certain amount of
time to do. It's your time.

Speaker 1 (01:07:53):
Thank you, congrats and congrats to you.

Speaker 2 (01:07:56):
Girlfriend. Were putting up with him and staying mistaking, and
he really does care about you. He called nine on
one she was sleeping.

Speaker 1 (01:08:06):
And then I didn't have an apartment number, so like
they're like, well, we can't even go check on her
because you don't know the apartment number. So that when
she woke up, like, babe, what's your apartment number?

Speaker 2 (01:08:15):
Write that sh down?

Speaker 1 (01:08:16):
Yeah, oh I got it, emergency contact. But yeah, thank
you so much for being on my podcast, the shittiest
podcast ever. Well I think you were on my podcast,
but okay, well we're clabbing. We're collabing. Yes, yeah, that's
how we get work done because all my viewers can
see you and your views can see me.

Speaker 2 (01:08:35):
Right, we're collabing. What I mean?

Speaker 1 (01:08:37):
It's pretty cool stuff.

Speaker 2 (01:08:38):
Yeah, it was super fun. Well, thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 (01:08:41):
No worries and any ads you need to do?

Speaker 2 (01:08:44):
Yep, obviously I always have ads.

Speaker 1 (01:08:47):
Let's go. I don't have a sponsor yet, so I'm
doing ads. Love it. I don't have any sponsors yet,
so if you got any sponsors out.

Speaker 2 (01:08:54):
There, might not be around. I don't know.

Speaker 1 (01:08:57):
I got an a sponsor, but they don't sponsor any
podcast videos. But I don't think that it's gonna change anyways.
I got a poop. We'll see you guys later.

Speaker 4 (01:09:08):
Eh?

Speaker 2 (01:09:09):
Is that your out show all the time?

Speaker 1 (01:09:12):
Oh? I like it?

Speaker 3 (01:09:15):
Well that's another shitty one for the books. Let's go
ahead and pinch the loaf here. You know it's Perry
dogin whack them all that little poop. I've been here
for two fucking long, so till next time, when and
if we have a consistent uploading schedule, I don't know,
stay shitty now? Who else wants to bounce producer?

Speaker 1 (01:09:34):
Fuck it?

Speaker 3 (01:09:35):
I got a date with Francesca down at the Titty Bar.
Somebody shut the shit off from me. The Shittiest Podcast
is produced by the World's Worst People, Tyler Nielsen, Ryan Tillotson,
Frank Driscoll and narrated by Me the Narrator Special thanks
to the straw Hut team.

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