May 11, 2022 • 38 mins
Poopies sits down with stand-up comedy legend, Bryan Callen. Get your notepads ready as we take a lesson in Poopies vocab!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
I liked my guest to be comfortable. How's the mic, how's the mike
feeling things have been rubbed on somefresh twat? Yeah, dude, I
know, you know. I wishwe should have a twat flavored Mike.
(00:22):
I should just take this home withme and just fucking get Yeah, where
where on my dick? Welcome backto another episode of the Shittiest Podcast with
Poopies. I want to start outwith a question, how the fuck are
we still doing this? We originallyrecorded three episodes and had no plans to
ever record more because we just thoughtit was that shitty. While we all
(00:45):
agree it is shitty, there seemsto be a genuine charm that you sick
people appreciate in the man we callpoopies. So from the bottom of our
cold, dead hearts, thank youfor the support. We're going to keep
this thing going. Probably would havebeen like ended up on drugs or being
a teacher who knows put your handstogether for puppies. I was the furthest
(01:11):
one out and I go, fuck, it feels kind of sharky, and
my friend goes, yeah it does. I got yeap. I'm out.
The shittiest podcast in the world.Oh sick. What's up you guys?
The legend I mean comedian like superstarBrian Callahan Worldwide, That's that's not his
name, Poopies. This week wehave Brian Callen, Not Brian Callahan.
(01:34):
He's a stand up comedian an actor. You might have seen in The Hangover,
ABC's The gold Birds and Joker.Brian recently saw an episode of the
Shittiest Podcast and was naturally smitten withour fearless host, Poopies. We reached
out and he agreed to be onthe show. What happens next is another
perfectly shitty episode of the show.Take it Away, Poopies Worldwide callin,
(01:56):
I'm so sorry, dude, Yeahwe got Yeah, Brian Callan. I
was watching Knoxville. I thought formyself, he's very stoned and yeah,
and he's near the podcasting. Fuckthat one up, Brian Callen, you
guys, Yeah, that's good dude, guy, Welcome to the Poopies Podcast.
(02:20):
Dude, I mean, this isthe mother of all podcasts. My
film Say My Lady was like,you have to watch this guy, And
then I watched the promo for theShittiest Podcast. I was laughing so fucking
hard. Then I watched your podcast, Johann Knoxville. I go, I
gotta do this podcast because it's unique. Yeah, it's don't change this like
just being the guy's horrible podcasting andthen have what's your name? Have Ryan
(02:44):
do the fucking commentary because it's sucha like, it's such a saturated art
form. But you guys found somethingunique. They did. They see they
seen it, they seen the vision, and they fucking ran with it.
I was like, let's go.I love it. Yeah, I love
it man. Yeah, because likeusually I'm not doing podcast, I'm doing
YouTube. Yeah, the Poopies channel, that's my YouTube, okay, and
(03:04):
um so poopies. Um so,Poopies came um when I was in like
eighth grade, when I was likefourteen, your name is always been Poopies.
No, it's been it was Sean, my name, real name,
Sean. You know what I mean. But yeah, it's always been poopies.
Man, and jackass. Going tomake it up when you meet girls,
do you go? I'm no,no, because there's nowhere to make
that sexy. There's not. Sowhen I was little, when my name
(03:25):
became poopies, I was over andI was like, because the chicks.
Yeah, I was like, boys, do not call me Poopies, Like
I want to get late tonight.Yeah. So and then next thing,
you know, Poopies grabbed me abeer and then like, oh, why
why is his name is Poopies?Like that's when you when you have friends.
And then I go, real friends, we'll try to fuck you.
Yeah, no, for sure,and they just laugh because you know,
(03:45):
I'm not getting pissed that night.My buddy would do this to me when
I would go anytime. We'd belike with a bunch of girls and I'd
get up to go, like I'dgot a bath from me. He goes,
got a poo again, peeing becausenow his stomach has been really bad.
Yeah, motherfucker. I'm walking inthe Starbucks. They're like three hot
girls behind the thing, and hegoes, he goes, he goes,
he's your bathroom free because he's gotit. He's gotta because you'd be all
(04:06):
right, man, just how's thestomach. I'm like, I gotta pay.
I sweat. It's like and yeah, one girl recognized me. I'm
like, oh, this is fucked. Yeah. That's what good friends are
for, though, I love it. Yeah, they keep you humble,
you know. They keep you incheck. I'm I'm still ten years old.
Like with my with my ex,I used to do She's super embarrassed
about anything. And so we'd begoing to a movie and you know,
(04:28):
you get there and people are alreadythere in the movie theater because it's late
and stuff. This is how thisis how fucking twelve year old I am.
Okay, this is when I wasin my forties doing this. So
we go to the go to themovie theater and I know that you have
to come in and then you're gonnawalk here and everybody's gonna be looking down
at you. Right. Yeah,so she's star. She was very She's
very pretty, but still very likeshe just shy. She just like so
(04:48):
I would just go, I haveto p and I push. Everybody would
look. She'd be like like thatand that to me, I could do
all day long. Yeah yeah,because I think poo is fine, No
for sure. Yeah, So Ihad embrace it, dude. It was
like a sacrifice, like such asacrifice that would be like, all right,
my name is poopies, Like I'mnot gonna have a normal job.
(05:11):
I'm not gonna have a normal life, Like my name is poopies. Yeah,
but seat. But I was like, fuck it, let's do it.
And then I got put on Jackassand I was like fuck yeah,
yeah, because success is never comfortable, I'm gonna run with poopies. Yeah.
Success isn't comfortable. It's not it'sit's all premature to me too,
all this Hollywood stuff. Yeah.So I'm just like I just go in
and like fuck, I get escortedaround, I get to my casting room,
(05:33):
you know, just chill and talkwith the boys. But I've never
been on a real movie set exceptJackass forever. But that's not like it's
a real it's a real production.But it's not like it's not where you
got like big, big time actors, actors. I mean, you got
Knoxville like he's he's an actor.Yeah, but um yeah, I was
just different, man, and Ialways wanted to be like that. It's
(05:55):
like so organic and natural, youknow. I I know, I saw
your scars. Oh yeah, theshark was fucked. At least you can
do that with grossing man. Myname is poopies. But I got sharks.
Yeah, no, I go.Have you ever been finger being by
a shark? Hand? I can'tfeel my own hat feel Yeah, yeah,
loss of dexterity. Yeah, it'snumb. So when I was doing
(06:15):
my physical therapy, I'd pump chickslike missionary. Yeah, so I'd be
on the bed and you would holdon. I would pump pump chicks.
Yeah, that's like what we calllike that's how se is that what you
say? Do you say? Ifyou want to pump? Can I pump
real quick? Please don't let thisterm catch on. Let's just let it
die here please. It's kind oflike a make sure you say, Hey,
(06:39):
bab can I My name is Poopiescan poop? You used to do
this? Spies wants to pump yourmission? That must get them super excited.
Yeah. Yeah, they liked thelittle boy like poopies want to pump?
Poopy want to pump? Yeah yeah, poopy want to pump your puss?
Yeah exactly, exactly. Yeah,keep hopefully it works. I don't
(07:00):
know. Yeah, poop and pumpis a great thing. Yeah, it
gets a girl. We all wanta pump. Hi guys want to pump?
You know you know about poop isright? That kid pumps? But
yeah, so yeah, so likeit's it's it was good for it because
it was stretching it and it waslike, as long as I can do
that because I'm a surfer and that'swhat you need to stand up on a
(07:24):
board. Yeah, so as longas that motion is going. And I
was like, I'm it hurt toowhen I was pumping these chicks, and
dude, it was just like,yeah, ump a lot of chicks.
Not really, I mean, Ilike, I want to get to know
him first, and like, youknow, if it chick pumps you on
the first night, she you knowshe's got something or she's like you know
what. People say that, butmy some of my some of my closest
(07:45):
relationships maybe all of the first nightyeah, literally all of them. Well,
yeah, I gotta like set itout first though. You gotta connect
connect for sure. Like it's allabout the connection. Like if she's like
about my jokes and like about likemy sarcasm, then it's all. But
if they're not, like, ohI'm not that wild, and I'm like,
yeah, maybe we should just doa one day and done thing.
But yeah, I mean I tryto. I try to like find the
(08:09):
hottest chicks. Yeah, well,but the hottest chicks are the craziest one.
I know. Chermaine wants being apump the trugs. He's like,
poopies. Where's all the trogs atpump? I heard trucks? Yeah,
yeah, like the fat chicks thetrugs. Trucks is a patch chick.
Yeah, it's like a troll frog. It's another surf term. Do you
do you like we used to callthe chicks trogs when we were kids,
(08:30):
and they hated it. Well,I would imagine, yeah, yeah,
I just don't really like being calledit trog. You're like, watch out
your trog. I beat it trog, Like I'm a dude, I don't
want to call. Yeah. Yeah, we used to tell the chicks like,
beat it trog. We are mean, dude. That's so me Growing
up in a surf culture. Itwas like Dogtown z Boys, but in
Carl's bad kind of ye kind ofgangster. Yeah, it was. We
(08:52):
got gang charges from the cops.Really, yeah, dude, like we're
just a surf club though, becausethey were like, stop calling, stop
calling the their teens truck. Yeah, because you're putting him in for life.
Yeah it was bad, dude,But now I'm so much nicer though,
Like I learned, like my lessons, karma is a bit got a
bit by a shark and shit,yeah, but you still refer to trucks
and pumping. No, not notnecessarily. I just want I just you
(09:15):
just wanted to get your hand.Yeah, so I just want to get
my hand every but it works.But anyways, what was that the scariest
thing you did on Jackass too?Oh? Yeah, dude. That was
after we filmed Forever and they're like, poopies want to go to Shark Week.
I was like, yeah, whynot. You know, that's like
super sick, like Shack's been onShark Week, like all these legends.
I was like, yeah, let'sdo it. And then they come up
with the Fawnsie move. You wantto jump the shark pit like Fawnsie And
(09:37):
I was like, I want tobe a legend, dude. Yeah.
So they're like, all right,chump the shark. Stevo's over there.
Yeah, dude, I love Stevo'sone of the nicest people on the planet.
I love Yeah, we love you, Stevo. I love him.
He's the man. He's been doingso much for me. Like, he's
such a good person, dude,He's so cool. There may not be
a better person on the fucking planet. He's just so real that yeah for
(09:58):
him money and he's killing I heardhe's killing it and stand up. I
love that guy. Yeah, Ilove him. He's he's he's going like
to the moon, dude, he'sfucking he should he deserves it. Yeah,
he does. Genuinely good person.He actually took me under his wing
and like been helping me out alot. So I'm stoked just showing me
his ways and just helping me outof my merch and all my YouTube stuff.
Yeah, because he's a YouTuber.Yeah, I feel like you're one
(10:20):
of those guys who's like smart andthen you still sneak up on people.
Yeah. I mean when I needto be smart, I can be.
No. No, I mean alot of people like you interesting because you're
like, you know, I gotthe Shitties podcast. You're a stoner I
conserved. Yeah, but at theend of the day, somehow you keep
you keep, you keep getting betterand wealthier and more known. So at
(10:43):
the end of the day, maybeyou weird. What's your secret discipline?
No, my mom praised for me, so she prays for you. Yeah,
hold on, I don't know.Hold on, maybe like that your
mom praised for you. My mompraised for me too, and a lot
of people people in prison right nowwho have their mom praying for him,
understand. So let's let's be alittle more scientific poop. See, dude,
(11:05):
I've been through it all though.Really I've had every job in the
world. My first job was Subway. When I was a junior in high
school, I dropped out, gotmy GD, got a job, junior,
moved that was in Missouri. Iwent to Missouri because I wasn't going
to school in Carl's Bad sophomore year, dropped out. My mom was like,
nope, you come into Missouri toget your g D because that's where
she was living at the time,and she was actually a GD teacher.
(11:28):
So GD and then fucking Subway boom. I wanted to make money. I
wanted to like get the fuck out, you know. Yeah, but see
this now we're getting to it.Now, we're getting to it. And
then so Subway was just like theyput me out the register and there was
lunch rush student. They don't markthe sandwiches. So I was just getting
bum rushed by all these high schoolkids and they're all I knew them all
(11:50):
too, So I was embarrassed thatI'm working at Subway and they're having fun
on lunch break, fucking pointing fingers, you know. So I was like,
fuck this, I'm to hear.I quit Subway and then I told
my mom. I was like,I gotta go back to California, Like
that's where I belong. So Imoved back to California after my junior year.
Senior year, got a job doingfucking framing on in La Costa and
(12:13):
I was doing all the track homesthere and I was killing it. I
was like the labor I'd go up, get the nails for the framers,
get the fucking shot pins for theconcrete guys. You know all this.
You worked hard? Yeah, Iwas working hard. I actually what I'm
saying you you you come. Inever quit though, I never stopped,
Yeah, because I knew there's somethingin the end. There's something in the
end, like I'm not gonna stop. So you've always wanted way more,
(12:35):
You've always way more than I havenow, like I want the world,
you see, like so like youmay be a stoner and all this,
but I could see so much ambitionin here. There's some shit going on.
Yeah, I want to fucking butit's patience but I love that about
patience. See that that endears meto you because that thank you, dude,
thank you, that means a while'to do for real. But like
it's all about patience too, becauseit doesn't come in one day or one
(12:58):
week or one year. It tasteslike ten years of fucking hard work where
you're broke is fuck going, dude, I'm waking up. I'm still gonna
go surf and make the content anddo what I need to do for my
job. Dude. Somebody asked me, somebody said to me that you don't
quit though. That's that was mything, Like even if you know the
lowest of lows, like you stillgot to make that content because that's my
life, his content. So Iwas just like, fush, keep going,
(13:20):
keeping and stay humble and always beyourself. Yeah, and don't let
anyone like try to distract you orlike put you down because they're just going
through something probably because you never knowwhat someone's going through. You gotta put
yourself in their shoes exactly. Andthen and then you're like, whoa,
Okay, step back a little bit, let's be nicer and that and that's
where that's where people see that andthey're like, whoa, this kid's fucking
(13:41):
kept doing it, and he's fuckingnice while he's been doing it the whole
time. This is actually a veryheartwarming moment. There's a sweet golden retriever
of a soul somewhere inside of thisman. That's that's step yeah, for
sure. But I love that.I love hearing about these moments where,
yeah, somebody said to me,they go, I did an interview,
right, and they said, thetime I had like two TV shows,
(14:01):
I shot my special, I hada huge podcast. Allay, They go,
what's your success? What's your like? What how do you get successful
in Hollywood? And I was like, I was probably fifty two, and
I was like successful, dude,I got seven yesses out of there,
literal in twenty five years. Forthis is no bullshit. I got seven
(14:24):
yesses that I held on to sotight, like so tight, and and
so that's I literally did some importantpeople. Oh yeah, but but but
I mean, I mean when Isay I failed, I quit acting,
and then I got the goldbergs Iquit. I was like, well,
I sucked. This is not goingto happen stand up never like nothing was
going on. I tried three podcastsbefore a Fighter and your kid all that
shit right, and and so Iguess I saw success when I was in
(14:48):
my mid forties, and I said, if you want to be successful in
my my the book I would writeit. Sent me motivation, bro sit
in traffic twenties, thirties and alot of your forties. Here in the
word no overt over. Do youget one? Yes? Once in a
while, ye do little jobs.You're like, yes, what yes?
What else? Do at home?Movie? Yes? You say that?
(15:11):
And I thought to myself, Iwas like, my success, it'd be
like this. So it took metwenty five years, twenty seven years,
okay, thirty years. If youstood on your front porch and threw a
rock at every bird that flew by, for twenty five years, you threw
a rocket every bird that flew you'dhit probably three or four birds a year.
Maybe yeah. Yeah. But thenafter twenty seven years, thirty years,
and you took all those birds andyou put them on a wall,
(15:33):
you'd have a wall full of birds. And if somebody came in and said,
dude, you're knocked almost brooks outof sky with a stone, you
must be the best stone thrower inthe world. No, motherfucker, I
just threw way more stones than youdid every bird that flew by. That's
that's literally how I discused. Becauselife's the timeline, you know, Yeah,
and you only have so long tocapitalize off that that moment of your
(15:56):
timeline, you know what I mean. I mean, I've never heard anybody
saved lives timeline, but I likeit. Yeah, dude, it is
for sure because getting from my tattoosaid timel dash. Yeah dude, because
so you gotta have fun. Whenyou're young, you get smarter, you
get the street smarts. You seehow everyone's hustling. You don't want to
get hustled. And then you seethat and you're like, oh fuck,
(16:18):
it just turns things around. Andthen you see and then you start,
you know, getting more connected andmore connections. Do you think that your
ADHD is because they couldn't keep yourinterest? Um? Yeah, dude,
Because like the school called my momand said, I was fucking you need
to come down here. I hadto stand up in class. Yeah,
I was jumping from desk to deskto desk. So I and I had
a leash and ship when I wasyoung. I was just like, oh
(16:40):
fucking Jason Ellis. I like shinyshit, but it was just like it's
either a toy or something I candrive or something. But what focused you?
Surfing? Um? Yeah, likenot no focus, Like surfing lost
my focus from the whole world.No, that's what I mean. But
that's but yeah focus, Yeah,because you forgot about everything around you.
And yeah, I just wanted tobe at the beach and smoke joints and
drink beers and then all the boysand so I want to I want to
(17:04):
ask you, um about your standup comedy. I loved it, dude,
Um complicated apes, Yes, sir, fucking took me an hour to
type it in the YouTube thing,but I fucking got it finally after four
days, I finally vicing got brandMay nineteenth nine and brand, Yeah,
(17:25):
come out, it's it's it's goodtoo. It's a good hour. Yeah,
I'm down. But I loved howyou said the celebrities they go to
Kenya to go adopted their favor.They're black kids, and dude, they
can go straight to the fucking hoodsSouth Central and get Jamal. That's what
I'm gonna do. I want togo get Jamal out. Can't be an
American black baby, it's gotta bea fucking baby in Ethiopia because they're beautiful.
(17:49):
It's cool. Yeah. Ah,you saving Africa, dude. Yeah,
thanks a lot, doctor, nohelp, you're taking the kid real
this family that doesn't speak English,and then he's gonna be eight foot tall.
And the fucking pictures say you kindof get the fucking wide zoom out,
correct, you get the wide zoombecause you can't, which is like
that. I thought that was agreat pit too, you know, class
(18:11):
for that Black people in the audience, it was like church, they're laing.
They'd be freaking out because it's sotrue. Yeah, white celebrities,
there's nothing and what annoys me morethan white celebrities pretending trying to prove to
the world how racist they're not.And another thing, you regular Americas.
Yeah, yeah, I love blackpeople, like Macdonna's whole family's black.
(18:32):
It's like she's queer. We know, yeah, we know that you're not
racist. So white and the sevenblack people, Yeah the fuck out of
here, dude. Yeah, it'sfucking funny. I'm gonna go get them
off from the streets when I becomeor if you're gonna be in Africa and
you want to you want to adopta baby, go to Senecal. They're
the best people I've ever seen inmy life. Best Africa, sit Senegal.
(18:52):
They're the best looking, most muscularpeople I've ever seen in my fucking
life. That's where I'm going forsure. And I like the one where
he's trying to find a sitter andyou found that hot ass chick. Oh
yeah, that's a true all thatshit's true story. I know. I
love it. Did you end up? Um? No, dude, my
girl, my my wife, myex wife was gorgeous, right, yeah,
(19:14):
so she was never threatened by anybodybecause she was like, you know,
she would sure, Yeah, Ilove so she brings this this like
this woman who was like I don'tknow. She was like black, Chinese
and white, like her mom wassweet black and it's a crazy mix.
And she had like she dressed shewas dressed in couture clothing and she just
(19:34):
fancy and she spoke in a Frenchaccent and I was like, you out
of your fucking mind. I'm nothaving this running away. You gotta raise
my baby. Yeah no, yeah, that's too much. She was funny,
dude. I watched it last nightand she was funny. Thank you,
bro. Yeah, you gotta seethem this special. I'm fucking I
can't wait, dude, come down, I'll get you. I've been Yeah,
(19:55):
we got it still. I'm gonnaI'll put you on the list.
But sick dude. Yeah. Thelast comedy thing I it was in San
Diego. It was a stand upclub super just like raw and like ten
minutes. I had ten minutes,but it kind of I kind of let.
I had a story, but Ihad like my break ins too of
other stories. So and then atthe end it came together. I think
(20:15):
that's a great way to start bytelling a story. Oh for sure.
That's how I do it. LikeI'm a storyteller. Come up comedian,
Yeah you should. Yeah, Ican't wait to do it again. We
gotta do it again. I don'tknow what I tell you'll be good.
I gotta like tell my agent orsomething to get me in. Some shows,
I start by just yeah, justkeep you don't even have to be
(20:36):
performing, just perform, like keepwriting perform yea yeah yeah yeah. So
I got Steve O speaker and ithas a microphone on it, so I've
been doing that. Yeah, I'mgonna go to this like empty amphitheater on
Oceanside. No one goes there.It's a huge ampithater on the beach,
and just post up and see howmany people I can get interesting. I'd
be pretty cool video, right,What if you show up, dude,
(20:57):
they'd be like, what a thousandfucking the whole call? It seems full.
You take your you're doing your thing, and I just take them Mico,
let me take this from me.Here, yeah, here, And
then I put on echo like theBeatles, Yeah, yeah, Echo,
and I'm just like and then anotherthing about airplane foods. Yea fucking crust
(21:18):
with airplane food jokes. Dude,there's not even airplane food anymore. They're
fucking snacks almost in a little tin. I don't know what I say,
dude. You know what's funny.I was with my friend last night,
Max. He's a big fan.He's an airline pilot. And he goes,
dude, I was like, I'mgonna be with him tomorrow, Like
you any questions for me? Hegoes. He goes, just tell him
that. Ask him if he's inlove, if he wants to fuck himself.
(21:41):
Yes, he is. He inlove with himself. You know.
The truth is no, The truthis I've never I think part of being
a comic is having a good senseof self loathing. I don't like myself.
I can never fuck me. Ican't believe my girl likes me.
My fans like she's I think she'shot as fun, but she's also thirty
two, and I'm like, hallof fuck, are you interested? Are
you? Yeah? Old man?But are you more like a kid like
(22:03):
brain though? Like kids soul?Yeah, I'm Peter Pan. Yeah,
dude, I'm Peter Pan too.Dude. We can't fun. We're the
Lost Boys and the Lost Boys dude. Yeah, my my? Is that
title my special before Complicated As wascalled Never Grow Up? Oh yeah,
title, But I mean that's it'sit's it's true. So I call it
gram life. So gram is likea kid, but it's they grew up
(22:26):
by the beach like a surf surfkid. And the grams make fun of
the frog, the throgs or theDRAMs make fun of the trugs. The
grams are calling the chicks truck yeahyeah, Sam yeah, the trus Yeah,
sorry, girls, but you areyeah, that's you'd be like an
older guy, like an older surfer, dude. Guys say, guys,
(22:48):
I gotta go surf some tubes.I gotta go fucking hit some tubes because
I'm sponsored by Boy in the Tube. No, you'd be like, you
better go here to you better gofucking Jack has some sushi from seven eleven
right now. Yeah, not surfingthis afternoon. A heavy piece. Guys,
listen, take your eyes off mypiece. You crum's better stop sucking
with the rocks. Yeah yeah,I'm so old. I forgot I forgot
(23:11):
the nickname girls. Yeah yeah.One of my voices like this, I'm
like playing an older guy and Ihad the older guy. Yeah. Yeah,
for sure. I can see youbeing like it a surfer. Yeah.
I wish, dude, I didn'tcome to I didn't go to school
in in La because I knew Inever leave. Yeah yeah, yeah,
that's what happened to me. Dude. It'll take your whole life away.
(23:33):
But it's a good thing. It'sa good lifestyle. We gotta get you
surfing, dude. It's so sick. I'd love to try. We'll take
you out. I'll take you out. Just get out there. I'm gone.
When when the conditions are good andthe waves are good, and you
just hear me. I'd go likethis, go yo, take yeah,
yeah, and I go go,what the fuck right? Go shit,
dudes, night, I'm staying lopebottom turned bottom. And then what you
(23:59):
don't realize that you're behind me?You're on my back. Yeah, I
got your back back. You're like, you can't do that. I go
watch me, and then I hobon your back and then it barrels,
and then we're in the barrel together. Fuck yeah, dude, fucking dolphins
are like popping out there here,and I'm like this, they're in front
of us. I'm yeah, youhave snacks, dolphins, snacks for him,
snacks because I catch flying fish onyeah boom yeah. And then I
(24:26):
surf like this, yeah, that'show I was showing your back. And
then hang tense on my back,bro. Yeah, and you're like there's
plenty of real estate. God,your back goes on for days days shore
and then we finally the barrels Indianaand then it spits a bunch of spray
and you can't see shit, andall I take all that to my back
so you don't feel it. Itfeels like needles to your back when the
(24:48):
waves spin their new drummer are onthe beach playing my yeah music and there's
a fucking monster girls there waiting forus with trophies waiting there, and they're
like, these clothes are too walkinghigh yep, and now they're all naked.
We're like, you girls aren't traps, no hope, we are proms.
Yeah, fucking bro, we're themsBRO so we got the hot shit
(25:11):
just like this is like this ohfuck, Like you can't have horns.
These are the fucking horns, jashshokas. You gotta like, bro,
put your horn down. Gosh shipdude, Aloha vibes. Yeah, but
maybe this is our gang, whichis fucking we hang ye unless you fuck
with us, Yeah, and thenthe guns come out. You don't fun
with us, then you're not hangingloose. Fucking get your coat here,
(25:33):
what I say, dude, yougot it with a new fucking Yeah,
dude, I can't wait to geton the way, get those fucking tubes.
That was like the best wave I'veever freaking analyzed. Right there for
real, Where would we be?We'd be in Tahiti on that way,
(25:53):
we'd beat the haitian as. Fuck. Fuck yeah, the boys are are
got us got our back there.I wish I had long hair, but
I'm losing it. I would putbeads in my hair. All I want
is the kind of hair you canput beads. Yeah I did. Yeah
it hurts though. You got somegood hair, huh. Yeah, dude.
Luckily, my brother's bald though ayoung man. Yeah you got still
got you got youthful hair that yougot a kid's hair. Yeah, somehow
(26:15):
my brother's bald, like fully bald. Yeah so my dad. So I
got the good gene. I gotmy mom's side. I think out the
hair. I want the kind ofskin that doesn't need sun sun block.
But I want the kind of hairI can put beads in. Dude.
Yeah, arm beads. You needa long arm hair, arm beats.
I want a longer femur bone.I don't like the really short Yeah,
(26:36):
I want a longer bone, justso when I wear shorts. You tell
the doc thigh yeah, you tellthe doc grab the femur extender extender yeah,
yeah, hey, doc, makemy femur bigger. He goes,
it's not possible, and I go, you sure, bro? Yeah,
which we here? We can behere? Yeah, you know what I'm
saying, which one you want meat me? This one, me and
(26:57):
my friend Pops. I'll come inand call him and you'll get this.
Yeah, I'm the only one whoseloud length in our fucking legs. Jack,
Yeah real, yeah, yeah,tell docs moving in with you.
Let's go, dude, I havegot I living like a container, dude,
but you can sleep next to mein a container. I do sleep,
(27:21):
and I had a sexual way likeyou like, oh yeah, yeah,
I'll sleep at your feet. Yeah, I don't give a fuck.
I traveled the world. I sleepwith my friends, not like either.
I'll show you my piece and youtraveled the world. I mean I lived
all over the world. That's sick. Where's your favorite spot? Lebanon,
Lebanon? Are there? There's isit next to the ocean? Lebanon's on
on the ocean? Pariah Beach?What countries are Coral Beach? Coral Beach,
(27:45):
Lebanon. Lebanon is in Beirut,which is essentially a was a Phoenician
port. So Lebanon, I'm sorry. Beirut is the city in Lebanon,
and Lebanon is a country, andso Lebanon is in the Middle East.
Okay, Okay, yeah, I'veheard of it. Yep. Is that
like the Mediterranean? Okay, theMediterranean? Oh that ships that big very
(28:07):
close there. It's all you know, border look it up, Look up
what the border countries. But Ithink Israel borders Lebanon. It's sick,
it's all you know. Lebanon hasbeen a tortured country, but a beautiful
country. I bet that culture borders. Let me see if I can remember
I've been to like I've been onthe last side, but only like I
think it's Syria, but it mightbe Syria. It might be Lebanon,
(28:29):
very similar Arabic to Egyptian Arabic becauseit's very close to Egypt. Sick.
Yeah, so it's a it's ait's a real place of historical it's got
the best night life in the world. Really was that, Yep. Some
of the most beautiful women. SeeI need to go. I'm some of
the best looking people in the world. There in a great culture. Party,
(28:49):
they party, they're they're great people. If you go to Lebanon,
they'll take you in like your family. Who's who borders Lebanon, Ryan,
Syria, Israel, I was right, Georgian, Jordan? Of course I
should have known that. Well,I've seen Israel commercials. It looks sick.
That's another place, dude, dude, it looks you want to talk
about the best looking women in theworld might very well be I mean,
let's be honest, it's Columbia.Yeah, I agree, Colombia, let's
(29:14):
be honest. But yeah, andthen and in Miami. But but but
but but no, but I mean, the best looking women in the world
might very well be from in Lebanon, and in Israel and probably in Syria,
even though it's war travels the broyou won't be sorry. I'm gonna
so hopefully I've mid the least man. There's some beautiful places in itaast.
(29:36):
I bet when I have enough money, I can just go there and relax
and chill. Ball out. You'renever gonna chill and you never never relax.
Take Okay, well I'm gonna ballout there. But yeah, yeah,
well you'll surf. You could surf. M yeah there, way there,
there's ways. Think there must be. Fuck. I got to go
on a swell. Then do youthink we can freaking maybe FaceTime someone?
Yeah? A big fan. I'ma big fan of Jonah Hill. I
love John You think you can FaceTimehim. He In fact, when Jonah
(30:00):
Hill met me once, he goes, I'm a fan. He said that
once. I only met him once. I swear to God. Shut that's
really random. He worked with him, didn't you know? Oh, I'm
a huge fan. See if youhave his number? No, I don't
have a nice shot up yeah number. No, I don't have his number.
I mean, you know, JonahHill. If you're watching this,
which you obviously aren't, reach outto poopies, he brings you up constantly.
(30:22):
Do you want to FaceTime? Haveanybody famous? Year? Stevo?
Let's FaceTime Stevo. That's the missSteve. Yeah, let's FaceTime him.
Dude, he's the man. He'sprobably sleeping because he's on tour. Maybe,
but we'll see he's freaking on theEast Coast. Maybe I ain't sleeping,
bro Oh he sleeps. You know? How many hours ahead the East
(30:45):
Coast is? He put me in, He put his number in as emergency
contact. How many hours ahead ish He's years ahead, dude. How
many hours ahead would you say NewYork is from here? Oh? Fuck?
Ten hours? I mean it's threehours before this convo with Stevo happens.
I hope you can appreciate that Poopiesthinks the East Coast is ten hours
(31:07):
ahead. Let's keep it moving threehours. Yeah, oh really, yes,
because there's mountain time. Stevo Hiloves say what's up? Hi,
guys, say what's up to?Brian Callen Stevollen, Nothing, buddy,
I'm doing I'm doing Poopsy the podcast, the greatest podcast ever made. And
(31:30):
uh we were, we were singingyour praises and he goes, let's FaceTime
somebody, let's FaceTime Jonah Hill.I was like, well, I don't
have Jonah Hill's number randomly on myphone. And he goes, I go,
let's let's call Stevo since we've beentalking about him. So I miss
you. You're a great person onthe podcast. Yeah, you're on the
podcast right now, right now.Thank god, I'm on the podcast.
(31:56):
I've been on the road and unableto record by appsiode of the shittiest podcast
ever. Yeah, it's so meaningfulthat I'm able to make a sneak appearance.
Yeah, when I when I'm inAlabama at the moment you're following just
grew by at least ten to elevenpeople. So this is exciting. Dude.
(32:17):
Yeah, I mean it, Andit's great to hear your voice,
man, like while we're singing praises. Let me tell you, Brian Callen,
how how eternally grateful I am fora year support over the years.
Well, you're worth it. You'reyou're worth it, and you're I loved
you right away, so listen,it was it was easy for me.
(32:37):
You're one of the good guys.I love you both. I appreciate the
call. And uh yeah, man, fucking good good luck Brian. That
podcast said, Oh yeah, itseems to be a real, real live
smash. No, it's a it'sa cultural force, and it's making a
(32:58):
huge difference Stevo. And and I'mgonna let you get back to your to
your vigorous love. Yeah, andmaking the world of funnier place. So
God bless Stevo. All right,I'll yeah, Stevo, love you,
legend the best. Yeah, heanswered. That's how cool he is,
he answered my phone call. It'sjust a humble dude. You know.
Don't worry, folks, that's notthe last time we'll hear from Stevo on
(33:21):
the podcast. He will be backas a guest, so please stop asking
us. We reached out, itwill happen. Part of being a good
comic is not and realizing you're notbetter than your audience. Yeah, you
always get yeah, well we're not. I mean everyone's equal, I think
a little bit until they lie orcheat you, and then yeah, do
you not know that New York isthree hours ahead? I don't know as
(33:43):
far as way, dude, I'veonly been there once. What's the diamonds
and the trugs and then there's thethe nugs, like the nuggets like that
chicks such a nug a nug likea golden nugget. Nu Like, dude,
that chicks such a nug poops likeyou better pull that one. Wow,
that's all surfer lingo. Yeah anug, boss, she's such a
(34:06):
nug. Oh just fucking wanders.Pump it so hard, pump nug.
Yeah, bro, poopy pumps nyah, due this aub would go. It'd
be like, do poopies pump pumpsuch a nug? Like, dude,
poopies pull a nug? Or likeyou pull a chick? Language Yeah,
if you like have a chick oryou like pulled it? Like what fuck
(34:29):
boys? Did you did you pullthat chick last night? Or what you
pulled that chick then you chumped it? No, yeah, and she was
a nug and I pumped it nocondom. Yeah. Do a lot of
feminists watch this show? I don'tknow. I hope so do a lot
of feminist hardcore feminist they watch youmerged to hardcore feminists at Berkeley. No,
(34:52):
if they watch it, dude,if it's just you know real,
They watched it in class just likepoint what the problem is? Yeah,
no soft viewers, no off.Audience went and the winner for anti found
you get the boy. So it'sjust like a bike bump trogs it nugs
any other man. You go,oh, dude, so much. The
(35:15):
waves are firing, waves are firing. Um yeah, so many are about
the score right now? Score likethe waves. How do you when you
ever hear people when I always findon like they have a saying for when
they came dude, I nutted everywhere? Oh yeah yeah yeah, I mean
(35:36):
I busted. I busted all overeverywhere. I fuck my buddy goes.
Yeah. Then I capped off andI was like, hey, bro,
can you like Jesus? That's whenyou lose You lose your an. Yeah,
when you fucking release your load,you release your an Oh really yeah.
I always say it's when I getwhen I give some of my essence.
(35:57):
Yeah yeah. Or you bless themyou earned it. You can blastom
too. Welcome. Yes, you'reblessed. I blessed you. Yeah,
the blessing, dude. We givethese chicks blessings. Yeah. My buddies
got diamond dick, So you knowthey're like, they love it. Dude.
It's just like your dick's perfect.Oh, I know it's so boring.
You're funny and your dick is perfect. Whatever. Yeah, now they're
(36:17):
understanding. Like before I wasn't gettinglaid at all, but now they're figuring
out the words getting around that.I have a diamond dick too, dude.
That's the first thing I said toyou. It's like perfect size,
perfect rounds. It's got a heavyit's got it doesn't go too deep,
you know, it doesn't hurt.It's got a chiquita banana cur Yeah,
(36:37):
it's got a belly. Yeah.The diamond dicks, dude, we need
to make a shirt diamond dick.Diamond diamond shaped piss holes. Ship is
one thing about us. We gota couple of diamond shaped piss, hanging
heavy, hang heavy true in America. Well this has been great, Yeah,
dude, this is really covered alot of ground. Yeah, podcasts
(37:00):
anymore, it might be the greatest. Thanks dude. Yeah, I try,
man, I'm getting better. Youwill get better better. Yeah,
I gotta come on your podcast anytime. I'd be stoved. I'd love to
get you on there, Brian.Fuck. Final question, Final question?
Who do who I need to suck? Who's dick do I need to suck
to get into this fucking stand upshit? Um? No, one's just
(37:22):
become undeniable. Okay, I meanmine obviously, but no, but I
sucked Diamond dick. So just I'malways here to support you. Yeah,
be any way I can cool?Well, fuck, maybe I could do
like a stand up comedy some ship. I don't know. I'll throw you
up on stage, dude, I'llbe pumped real for real. Okay,
I got some good shock the bitejokes. Yeah. Maybe maybe we'll maybe
(37:44):
when i'm we'll figure out what myrole schedule is. That's my question.
I'll bring you out sick. Comeon, man, I'm sicked. Dude.
Hey, you're a legend, dudefor real, dude, real guy,
right, here. He's a realfucking human dude. He's got a
big heart and you guys, I'mI'm honored to have him on The Poopies
Podcast. Shitties Podcast. Ever,we're gonna wrap it up. Thank you
guys for watching. Stay tuned nextweek. I don't know who we're gonna
(38:07):
have on. I'll be in Mexico, but maybe a Zoom shit or some
shit. But yeah, thank youguys for watching. Subscribe up here and
watch the ladies video up here.We're signing out late, go to bed
grums. Thanks for tuning in everyone. Like I said at the beginning of
this episode, we're going to keepthis thing going. Stay shitty and let
us know in the comments if you'velearned anything today. Poopies gave us a
(38:30):
lot of new lingo tad to ourvocabulary, but I think that it might
be in everyone's best interest if wedon't. No pumping, no trog chaining,
or no grom bashing is necessary outsideof the Shittiest Podcast. The Shittiest
Podcast is produced by the World's WorstPeople, Tyler Nielsen, Brian Tillotson,
Frank Driscoll and narrated by Me thenarrator. Special thanks to the straw Hout team
I liked my guest to be comfortable. How's the mic, how's the mike
feeling things have been rubbed on somefresh twat? Yeah, dude, I
know, you know. I wishwe should have a twat flavored Mike.
(00:22):
I should just take this home withme and just fucking get Yeah, where
where on my dick? Welcome backto another episode of the Shittiest Podcast with
Poopies. I want to start outwith a question, how the fuck are
we still doing this? We originallyrecorded three episodes and had no plans to
ever record more because we just thoughtit was that shitty. While we all
(00:45):
agree it is shitty, there seemsto be a genuine charm that you sick
people appreciate in the man we callpoopies. So from the bottom of our
cold, dead hearts, thank youfor the support. We're going to keep
this thing going. Probably would havebeen like ended up on drugs or being
a teacher who knows put your handstogether for puppies. I was the furthest
(01:11):
one out and I go, fuck, it feels kind of sharky, and
my friend goes, yeah it does. I got yeap. I'm out.
The shittiest podcast in the world.Oh sick. What's up you guys?
The legend I mean comedian like superstarBrian Callahan Worldwide, That's that's not his
name, Poopies. This week wehave Brian Callen, Not Brian Callahan.
(01:34):
He's a stand up comedian an actor. You might have seen in The Hangover,
ABC's The gold Birds and Joker.Brian recently saw an episode of the
Shittiest Podcast and was naturally smitten withour fearless host, Poopies. We reached
out and he agreed to be onthe show. What happens next is another
perfectly shitty episode of the show.Take it Away, Poopies Worldwide callin,
(01:56):
I'm so sorry, dude, Yeahwe got Yeah, Brian Callan. I
was watching Knoxville. I thought formyself, he's very stoned and yeah,
and he's near the podcasting. Fuckthat one up, Brian Callen, you
guys, Yeah, that's good dude, guy, Welcome to the Poopies Podcast.
(02:20):
Dude, I mean, this isthe mother of all podcasts. My
film Say My Lady was like,you have to watch this guy, And
then I watched the promo for theShittiest Podcast. I was laughing so fucking
hard. Then I watched your podcast, Johann Knoxville. I go, I
gotta do this podcast because it's unique. Yeah, it's don't change this like
just being the guy's horrible podcasting andthen have what's your name? Have Ryan
(02:44):
do the fucking commentary because it's sucha like, it's such a saturated art
form. But you guys found somethingunique. They did. They see they
seen it, they seen the vision, and they fucking ran with it.
I was like, let's go.I love it. Yeah, I love
it man. Yeah, because likeusually I'm not doing podcast, I'm doing
YouTube. Yeah, the Poopies channel, that's my YouTube, okay, and
(03:04):
um so poopies. Um so,Poopies came um when I was in like
eighth grade, when I was likefourteen, your name is always been Poopies.
No, it's been it was Sean, my name, real name,
Sean. You know what I mean. But yeah, it's always been poopies.
Man, and jackass. Going tomake it up when you meet girls,
do you go? I'm no,no, because there's nowhere to make
that sexy. There's not. Sowhen I was little, when my name
(03:25):
became poopies, I was over andI was like, because the chicks.
Yeah, I was like, boys, do not call me Poopies, Like
I want to get late tonight.Yeah. So and then next thing,
you know, Poopies grabbed me abeer and then like, oh, why
why is his name is Poopies?Like that's when you when you have friends.
And then I go, real friends, we'll try to fuck you.
Yeah, no, for sure,and they just laugh because you know,
(03:45):
I'm not getting pissed that night.My buddy would do this to me when
I would go anytime. We'd belike with a bunch of girls and I'd
get up to go, like I'dgot a bath from me. He goes,
got a poo again, peeing becausenow his stomach has been really bad.
Yeah, motherfucker. I'm walking inthe Starbucks. They're like three hot
girls behind the thing, and hegoes, he goes, he goes,
he's your bathroom free because he's gotit. He's gotta because you'd be all
(04:06):
right, man, just how's thestomach. I'm like, I gotta pay.
I sweat. It's like and yeah, one girl recognized me. I'm
like, oh, this is fucked. Yeah. That's what good friends are
for, though, I love it. Yeah, they keep you humble,
you know. They keep you incheck. I'm I'm still ten years old.
Like with my with my ex,I used to do She's super embarrassed
about anything. And so we'd begoing to a movie and you know,
(04:28):
you get there and people are alreadythere in the movie theater because it's late
and stuff. This is how thisis how fucking twelve year old I am.
Okay, this is when I wasin my forties doing this. So
we go to the go to themovie theater and I know that you have
to come in and then you're gonnawalk here and everybody's gonna be looking down
at you. Right. Yeah,so she's star. She was very She's
very pretty, but still very likeshe just shy. She just like so
(04:48):
I would just go, I haveto p and I push. Everybody would
look. She'd be like like thatand that to me, I could do
all day long. Yeah yeah,because I think poo is fine, No
for sure. Yeah, So Ihad embrace it, dude. It was
like a sacrifice, like such asacrifice that would be like, all right,
my name is poopies, Like I'mnot gonna have a normal job.
(05:11):
I'm not gonna have a normal life, Like my name is poopies. Yeah,
but seat. But I was like, fuck it, let's do it.
And then I got put on Jackassand I was like fuck yeah,
yeah, because success is never comfortable, I'm gonna run with poopies. Yeah.
Success isn't comfortable. It's not it'sit's all premature to me too,
all this Hollywood stuff. Yeah.So I'm just like I just go in
and like fuck, I get escortedaround, I get to my casting room,
(05:33):
you know, just chill and talkwith the boys. But I've never
been on a real movie set exceptJackass forever. But that's not like it's
a real it's a real production.But it's not like it's not where you
got like big, big time actors, actors. I mean, you got
Knoxville like he's he's an actor.Yeah, but um yeah, I was
just different, man, and Ialways wanted to be like that. It's
(05:55):
like so organic and natural, youknow. I I know, I saw
your scars. Oh yeah, theshark was fucked. At least you can
do that with grossing man. Myname is poopies. But I got sharks.
Yeah, no, I go.Have you ever been finger being by
a shark? Hand? I can'tfeel my own hat feel Yeah, yeah,
loss of dexterity. Yeah, it'snumb. So when I was doing
(06:15):
my physical therapy, I'd pump chickslike missionary. Yeah, so I'd be
on the bed and you would holdon. I would pump pump chicks.
Yeah, that's like what we calllike that's how se is that what you
say? Do you say? Ifyou want to pump? Can I pump
real quick? Please don't let thisterm catch on. Let's just let it
die here please. It's kind oflike a make sure you say, Hey,
(06:39):
bab can I My name is Poopiescan poop? You used to do
this? Spies wants to pump yourmission? That must get them super excited.
Yeah. Yeah, they liked thelittle boy like poopies want to pump?
Poopy want to pump? Yeah yeah, poopy want to pump your puss?
Yeah exactly, exactly. Yeah,keep hopefully it works. I don't
(07:00):
know. Yeah, poop and pumpis a great thing. Yeah, it
gets a girl. We all wanta pump. Hi guys want to pump?
You know you know about poop isright? That kid pumps? But
yeah, so yeah, so likeit's it's it was good for it because
it was stretching it and it waslike, as long as I can do
that because I'm a surfer and that'swhat you need to stand up on a
(07:24):
board. Yeah, so as longas that motion is going. And I
was like, I'm it hurt toowhen I was pumping these chicks, and
dude, it was just like,yeah, ump a lot of chicks.
Not really, I mean, Ilike, I want to get to know
him first, and like, youknow, if it chick pumps you on
the first night, she you knowshe's got something or she's like you know
what. People say that, butmy some of my some of my closest
(07:45):
relationships maybe all of the first nightyeah, literally all of them. Well,
yeah, I gotta like set itout first though. You gotta connect
connect for sure. Like it's allabout the connection. Like if she's like
about my jokes and like about likemy sarcasm, then it's all. But
if they're not, like, ohI'm not that wild, and I'm like,
yeah, maybe we should just doa one day and done thing.
But yeah, I mean I tryto. I try to like find the
(08:09):
hottest chicks. Yeah, well,but the hottest chicks are the craziest one.
I know. Chermaine wants being apump the trugs. He's like,
poopies. Where's all the trogs atpump? I heard trucks? Yeah,
yeah, like the fat chicks thetrugs. Trucks is a patch chick.
Yeah, it's like a troll frog. It's another surf term. Do you
do you like we used to callthe chicks trogs when we were kids,
(08:30):
and they hated it. Well,I would imagine, yeah, yeah,
I just don't really like being calledit trog. You're like, watch out
your trog. I beat it trog, Like I'm a dude, I don't
want to call. Yeah. Yeah, we used to tell the chicks like,
beat it trog. We are mean, dude. That's so me Growing
up in a surf culture. Itwas like Dogtown z Boys, but in
Carl's bad kind of ye kind ofgangster. Yeah, it was. We
(08:52):
got gang charges from the cops.Really, yeah, dude, like we're
just a surf club though, becausethey were like, stop calling, stop
calling the their teens truck. Yeah, because you're putting him in for life.
Yeah it was bad, dude,But now I'm so much nicer though,
Like I learned, like my lessons, karma is a bit got a
bit by a shark and shit,yeah, but you still refer to trucks
and pumping. No, not notnecessarily. I just want I just you
(09:15):
just wanted to get your hand.Yeah, so I just want to get
my hand every but it works.But anyways, what was that the scariest
thing you did on Jackass too?Oh? Yeah, dude. That was
after we filmed Forever and they're like, poopies want to go to Shark Week.
I was like, yeah, whynot. You know, that's like
super sick, like Shack's been onShark Week, like all these legends.
I was like, yeah, let'sdo it. And then they come up
with the Fawnsie move. You wantto jump the shark pit like Fawnsie And
(09:37):
I was like, I want tobe a legend, dude. Yeah.
So they're like, all right,chump the shark. Stevo's over there.
Yeah, dude, I love Stevo'sone of the nicest people on the planet.
I love Yeah, we love you, Stevo. I love him.
He's the man. He's been doingso much for me. Like, he's
such a good person, dude,He's so cool. There may not be
a better person on the fucking planet. He's just so real that yeah for
(09:58):
him money and he's killing I heardhe's killing it and stand up. I
love that guy. Yeah, Ilove him. He's he's he's going like
to the moon, dude, he'sfucking he should he deserves it. Yeah,
he does. Genuinely good person.He actually took me under his wing
and like been helping me out alot. So I'm stoked just showing me
his ways and just helping me outof my merch and all my YouTube stuff.
Yeah, because he's a YouTuber.Yeah, I feel like you're one
(10:20):
of those guys who's like smart andthen you still sneak up on people.
Yeah. I mean when I needto be smart, I can be.
No. No, I mean alot of people like you interesting because you're
like, you know, I gotthe Shitties podcast. You're a stoner I
conserved. Yeah, but at theend of the day, somehow you keep
you keep, you keep getting betterand wealthier and more known. So at
(10:43):
the end of the day, maybeyou weird. What's your secret discipline?
No, my mom praised for me, so she prays for you. Yeah,
hold on, I don't know.Hold on, maybe like that your
mom praised for you. My mompraised for me too, and a lot
of people people in prison right nowwho have their mom praying for him,
understand. So let's let's be alittle more scientific poop. See, dude,
(11:05):
I've been through it all though.Really I've had every job in the
world. My first job was Subway. When I was a junior in high
school, I dropped out, gotmy GD, got a job, junior,
moved that was in Missouri. Iwent to Missouri because I wasn't going
to school in Carl's Bad sophomore year, dropped out. My mom was like,
nope, you come into Missouri toget your g D because that's where
she was living at the time,and she was actually a GD teacher.
(11:28):
So GD and then fucking Subway boom. I wanted to make money. I
wanted to like get the fuck out, you know. Yeah, but see
this now we're getting to it.Now, we're getting to it. And
then so Subway was just like theyput me out the register and there was
lunch rush student. They don't markthe sandwiches. So I was just getting
bum rushed by all these high schoolkids and they're all I knew them all
(11:50):
too, So I was embarrassed thatI'm working at Subway and they're having fun
on lunch break, fucking pointing fingers, you know. So I was like,
fuck this, I'm to hear.I quit Subway and then I told
my mom. I was like,I gotta go back to California, Like
that's where I belong. So Imoved back to California after my junior year.
Senior year, got a job doingfucking framing on in La Costa and
(12:13):
I was doing all the track homesthere and I was killing it. I
was like the labor I'd go up, get the nails for the framers,
get the fucking shot pins for theconcrete guys. You know all this.
You worked hard? Yeah, Iwas working hard. I actually what I'm
saying you you you come. Inever quit though, I never stopped,
Yeah, because I knew there's somethingin the end. There's something in the
end, like I'm not gonna stop. So you've always wanted way more,
(12:35):
You've always way more than I havenow, like I want the world,
you see, like so like youmay be a stoner and all this,
but I could see so much ambitionin here. There's some shit going on.
Yeah, I want to fucking butit's patience but I love that about
patience. See that that endears meto you because that thank you, dude,
thank you, that means a while'to do for real. But like
it's all about patience too, becauseit doesn't come in one day or one
(12:58):
week or one year. It tasteslike ten years of fucking hard work where
you're broke is fuck going, dude, I'm waking up. I'm still gonna
go surf and make the content anddo what I need to do for my
job. Dude. Somebody asked me, somebody said to me that you don't
quit though. That's that was mything, Like even if you know the
lowest of lows, like you stillgot to make that content because that's my
life, his content. So Iwas just like, fush, keep going,
(13:20):
keeping and stay humble and always beyourself. Yeah, and don't let
anyone like try to distract you orlike put you down because they're just going
through something probably because you never knowwhat someone's going through. You gotta put
yourself in their shoes exactly. Andthen and then you're like, whoa,
Okay, step back a little bit, let's be nicer and that and that's
where that's where people see that andthey're like, whoa, this kid's fucking
(13:41):
kept doing it, and he's fuckingnice while he's been doing it the whole
time. This is actually a veryheartwarming moment. There's a sweet golden retriever
of a soul somewhere inside of thisman. That's that's step yeah, for
sure. But I love that.I love hearing about these moments where,
yeah, somebody said to me,they go, I did an interview,
right, and they said, thetime I had like two TV shows,
(14:01):
I shot my special, I hada huge podcast. Allay, They go,
what's your success? What's your like? What how do you get successful
in Hollywood? And I was like, I was probably fifty two, and
I was like successful, dude,I got seven yesses out of there,
literal in twenty five years. Forthis is no bullshit. I got seven
(14:24):
yesses that I held on to sotight, like so tight, and and
so that's I literally did some importantpeople. Oh yeah, but but but
I mean, I mean when Isay I failed, I quit acting,
and then I got the goldbergs Iquit. I was like, well,
I sucked. This is not goingto happen stand up never like nothing was
going on. I tried three podcastsbefore a Fighter and your kid all that
shit right, and and so Iguess I saw success when I was in
(14:48):
my mid forties, and I said, if you want to be successful in
my my the book I would writeit. Sent me motivation, bro sit
in traffic twenties, thirties and alot of your forties. Here in the
word no overt over. Do youget one? Yes? Once in a
while, ye do little jobs.You're like, yes, what yes?
What else? Do at home?Movie? Yes? You say that?
(15:11):
And I thought to myself, Iwas like, my success, it'd be
like this. So it took metwenty five years, twenty seven years,
okay, thirty years. If youstood on your front porch and threw a
rock at every bird that flew by, for twenty five years, you threw
a rocket every bird that flew you'dhit probably three or four birds a year.
Maybe yeah. Yeah. But thenafter twenty seven years, thirty years,
and you took all those birds andyou put them on a wall,
(15:33):
you'd have a wall full of birds. And if somebody came in and said,
dude, you're knocked almost brooks outof sky with a stone, you
must be the best stone thrower inthe world. No, motherfucker, I
just threw way more stones than youdid every bird that flew by. That's
that's literally how I discused. Becauselife's the timeline, you know, Yeah,
and you only have so long tocapitalize off that that moment of your
(15:56):
timeline, you know what I mean. I mean, I've never heard anybody
saved lives timeline, but I likeit. Yeah, dude, it is
for sure because getting from my tattoosaid timel dash. Yeah dude, because
so you gotta have fun. Whenyou're young, you get smarter, you
get the street smarts. You seehow everyone's hustling. You don't want to
get hustled. And then you seethat and you're like, oh fuck,
(16:18):
it just turns things around. Andthen you see and then you start,
you know, getting more connected andmore connections. Do you think that your
ADHD is because they couldn't keep yourinterest? Um? Yeah, dude,
Because like the school called my momand said, I was fucking you need
to come down here. I hadto stand up in class. Yeah,
I was jumping from desk to deskto desk. So I and I had
a leash and ship when I wasyoung. I was just like, oh
(16:40):
fucking Jason Ellis. I like shinyshit, but it was just like it's
either a toy or something I candrive or something. But what focused you?
Surfing? Um? Yeah, likenot no focus, Like surfing lost
my focus from the whole world.No, that's what I mean. But
that's but yeah focus, Yeah,because you forgot about everything around you.
And yeah, I just wanted tobe at the beach and smoke joints and
drink beers and then all the boysand so I want to I want to
(17:04):
ask you, um about your standup comedy. I loved it, dude,
Um complicated apes, Yes, sir, fucking took me an hour to
type it in the YouTube thing,but I fucking got it finally after four
days, I finally vicing got brandMay nineteenth nine and brand, Yeah,
(17:25):
come out, it's it's it's goodtoo. It's a good hour. Yeah,
I'm down. But I loved howyou said the celebrities they go to
Kenya to go adopted their favor.They're black kids, and dude, they
can go straight to the fucking hoodsSouth Central and get Jamal. That's what
I'm gonna do. I want togo get Jamal out. Can't be an
American black baby, it's gotta bea fucking baby in Ethiopia because they're beautiful.
(17:49):
It's cool. Yeah. Ah,you saving Africa, dude. Yeah,
thanks a lot, doctor, nohelp, you're taking the kid real
this family that doesn't speak English,and then he's gonna be eight foot tall.
And the fucking pictures say you kindof get the fucking wide zoom out,
correct, you get the wide zoombecause you can't, which is like
that. I thought that was agreat pit too, you know, class
(18:11):
for that Black people in the audience, it was like church, they're laing.
They'd be freaking out because it's sotrue. Yeah, white celebrities,
there's nothing and what annoys me morethan white celebrities pretending trying to prove to
the world how racist they're not.And another thing, you regular Americas.
Yeah, yeah, I love blackpeople, like Macdonna's whole family's black.
(18:32):
It's like she's queer. We know, yeah, we know that you're not
racist. So white and the sevenblack people, Yeah the fuck out of
here, dude. Yeah, it'sfucking funny. I'm gonna go get them
off from the streets when I becomeor if you're gonna be in Africa and
you want to you want to adopta baby, go to Senecal. They're
the best people I've ever seen inmy life. Best Africa, sit Senegal.
(18:52):
They're the best looking, most muscularpeople I've ever seen in my fucking
life. That's where I'm going forsure. And I like the one where
he's trying to find a sitter andyou found that hot ass chick. Oh
yeah, that's a true all thatshit's true story. I know. I
love it. Did you end up? Um? No, dude, my
girl, my my wife, myex wife was gorgeous, right, yeah,
(19:14):
so she was never threatened by anybodybecause she was like, you know,
she would sure, Yeah, Ilove so she brings this this like
this woman who was like I don'tknow. She was like black, Chinese
and white, like her mom wassweet black and it's a crazy mix.
And she had like she dressed shewas dressed in couture clothing and she just
(19:34):
fancy and she spoke in a Frenchaccent and I was like, you out
of your fucking mind. I'm nothaving this running away. You gotta raise
my baby. Yeah no, yeah, that's too much. She was funny,
dude. I watched it last nightand she was funny. Thank you,
bro. Yeah, you gotta seethem this special. I'm fucking I
can't wait, dude, come down, I'll get you. I've been Yeah,
(19:55):
we got it still. I'm gonnaI'll put you on the list.
But sick dude. Yeah. Thelast comedy thing I it was in San
Diego. It was a stand upclub super just like raw and like ten
minutes. I had ten minutes,but it kind of I kind of let.
I had a story, but Ihad like my break ins too of
other stories. So and then atthe end it came together. I think
(20:15):
that's a great way to start bytelling a story. Oh for sure.
That's how I do it. LikeI'm a storyteller. Come up comedian,
Yeah you should. Yeah, Ican't wait to do it again. We
gotta do it again. I don'tknow what I tell you'll be good.
I gotta like tell my agent orsomething to get me in. Some shows,
I start by just yeah, justkeep you don't even have to be
(20:36):
performing, just perform, like keepwriting perform yea yeah yeah yeah. So
I got Steve O speaker and ithas a microphone on it, so I've
been doing that. Yeah, I'mgonna go to this like empty amphitheater on
Oceanside. No one goes there.It's a huge ampithater on the beach,
and just post up and see howmany people I can get interesting. I'd
be pretty cool video, right,What if you show up, dude,
(20:57):
they'd be like, what a thousandfucking the whole call? It seems full.
You take your you're doing your thing, and I just take them Mico,
let me take this from me.Here, yeah, here, And
then I put on echo like theBeatles, Yeah, yeah, Echo,
and I'm just like and then anotherthing about airplane foods. Yea fucking crust
(21:18):
with airplane food jokes. Dude,there's not even airplane food anymore. They're
fucking snacks almost in a little tin. I don't know what I say,
dude. You know what's funny.I was with my friend last night,
Max. He's a big fan.He's an airline pilot. And he goes,
dude, I was like, I'mgonna be with him tomorrow, Like
you any questions for me? Hegoes. He goes, just tell him
that. Ask him if he's inlove, if he wants to fuck himself.
(21:41):
Yes, he is. He inlove with himself. You know.
The truth is no, The truthis I've never I think part of being
a comic is having a good senseof self loathing. I don't like myself.
I can never fuck me. Ican't believe my girl likes me.
My fans like she's I think she'shot as fun, but she's also thirty
two, and I'm like, hallof fuck, are you interested? Are
you? Yeah? Old man?But are you more like a kid like
(22:03):
brain though? Like kids soul?Yeah, I'm Peter Pan. Yeah,
dude, I'm Peter Pan too.Dude. We can't fun. We're the
Lost Boys and the Lost Boys dude. Yeah, my my? Is that
title my special before Complicated As wascalled Never Grow Up? Oh yeah,
title, But I mean that's it'sit's it's true. So I call it
gram life. So gram is likea kid, but it's they grew up
(22:26):
by the beach like a surf surfkid. And the grams make fun of
the frog, the throgs or theDRAMs make fun of the trugs. The
grams are calling the chicks truck yeahyeah, Sam yeah, the trus Yeah,
sorry, girls, but you areyeah, that's you'd be like an
older guy, like an older surfer, dude. Guys say, guys,
(22:48):
I gotta go surf some tubes.I gotta go fucking hit some tubes because
I'm sponsored by Boy in the Tube. No, you'd be like, you
better go here to you better gofucking Jack has some sushi from seven eleven
right now. Yeah, not surfingthis afternoon. A heavy piece. Guys,
listen, take your eyes off mypiece. You crum's better stop sucking
with the rocks. Yeah yeah,I'm so old. I forgot I forgot
(23:11):
the nickname girls. Yeah yeah.One of my voices like this, I'm
like playing an older guy and Ihad the older guy. Yeah. Yeah,
for sure. I can see youbeing like it a surfer. Yeah.
I wish, dude, I didn'tcome to I didn't go to school
in in La because I knew Inever leave. Yeah yeah, yeah,
that's what happened to me. Dude. It'll take your whole life away.
(23:33):
But it's a good thing. It'sa good lifestyle. We gotta get you
surfing, dude. It's so sick. I'd love to try. We'll take
you out. I'll take you out. Just get out there. I'm gone.
When when the conditions are good andthe waves are good, and you
just hear me. I'd go likethis, go yo, take yeah,
yeah, and I go go,what the fuck right? Go shit,
dudes, night, I'm staying lopebottom turned bottom. And then what you
(23:59):
don't realize that you're behind me?You're on my back. Yeah, I
got your back back. You're like, you can't do that. I go
watch me, and then I hobon your back and then it barrels,
and then we're in the barrel together. Fuck yeah, dude, fucking dolphins
are like popping out there here,and I'm like this, they're in front
of us. I'm yeah, youhave snacks, dolphins, snacks for him,
snacks because I catch flying fish onyeah boom yeah. And then I
(24:26):
surf like this, yeah, that'show I was showing your back. And
then hang tense on my back,bro. Yeah, and you're like there's
plenty of real estate. God,your back goes on for days days shore
and then we finally the barrels Indianaand then it spits a bunch of spray
and you can't see shit, andall I take all that to my back
so you don't feel it. Itfeels like needles to your back when the
(24:48):
waves spin their new drummer are onthe beach playing my yeah music and there's
a fucking monster girls there waiting forus with trophies waiting there, and they're
like, these clothes are too walkinghigh yep, and now they're all naked.
We're like, you girls aren't traps, no hope, we are proms.
Yeah, fucking bro, we're themsBRO so we got the hot shit
(25:11):
just like this is like this ohfuck, Like you can't have horns.
These are the fucking horns, jashshokas. You gotta like, bro,
put your horn down. Gosh shipdude, Aloha vibes. Yeah, but
maybe this is our gang, whichis fucking we hang ye unless you fuck
with us, Yeah, and thenthe guns come out. You don't fun
with us, then you're not hangingloose. Fucking get your coat here,
(25:33):
what I say, dude, yougot it with a new fucking Yeah,
dude, I can't wait to geton the way, get those fucking tubes.
That was like the best wave I'veever freaking analyzed. Right there for
real, Where would we be?We'd be in Tahiti on that way,
(25:53):
we'd beat the haitian as. Fuck. Fuck yeah, the boys are are
got us got our back there.I wish I had long hair, but
I'm losing it. I would putbeads in my hair. All I want
is the kind of hair you canput beads. Yeah I did. Yeah
it hurts though. You got somegood hair, huh. Yeah, dude.
Luckily, my brother's bald though ayoung man. Yeah you got still
got you got youthful hair that yougot a kid's hair. Yeah, somehow
(26:15):
my brother's bald, like fully bald. Yeah so my dad. So I
got the good gene. I gotmy mom's side. I think out the
hair. I want the kind ofskin that doesn't need sun sun block.
But I want the kind of hairI can put beads in. Dude.
Yeah, arm beads. You needa long arm hair, arm beats.
I want a longer femur bone.I don't like the really short Yeah,
(26:36):
I want a longer bone, justso when I wear shorts. You tell
the doc thigh yeah, you tellthe doc grab the femur extender extender yeah,
yeah, hey, doc, makemy femur bigger. He goes,
it's not possible, and I go, you sure, bro? Yeah,
which we here? We can behere? Yeah, you know what I'm
saying, which one you want meat me? This one, me and
(26:57):
my friend Pops. I'll come inand call him and you'll get this.
Yeah, I'm the only one whoseloud length in our fucking legs. Jack,
Yeah real, yeah, yeah,tell docs moving in with you.
Let's go, dude, I havegot I living like a container, dude,
but you can sleep next to mein a container. I do sleep,
(27:21):
and I had a sexual way likeyou like, oh yeah, yeah,
I'll sleep at your feet. Yeah, I don't give a fuck.
I traveled the world. I sleepwith my friends, not like either.
I'll show you my piece and youtraveled the world. I mean I lived
all over the world. That's sick. Where's your favorite spot? Lebanon,
Lebanon? Are there? There's isit next to the ocean? Lebanon's on
on the ocean? Pariah Beach?What countries are Coral Beach? Coral Beach,
(27:45):
Lebanon. Lebanon is in Beirut,which is essentially a was a Phoenician
port. So Lebanon, I'm sorry. Beirut is the city in Lebanon,
and Lebanon is a country, andso Lebanon is in the Middle East.
Okay, Okay, yeah, I'veheard of it. Yep. Is that
like the Mediterranean? Okay, theMediterranean? Oh that ships that big very
(28:07):
close there. It's all you know, border look it up, Look up
what the border countries. But Ithink Israel borders Lebanon. It's sick,
it's all you know. Lebanon hasbeen a tortured country, but a beautiful
country. I bet that culture borders. Let me see if I can remember
I've been to like I've been onthe last side, but only like I
think it's Syria, but it mightbe Syria. It might be Lebanon,
(28:29):
very similar Arabic to Egyptian Arabic becauseit's very close to Egypt. Sick.
Yeah, so it's a it's ait's a real place of historical it's got
the best night life in the world. Really was that, Yep. Some
of the most beautiful women. SeeI need to go. I'm some of
the best looking people in the world. There in a great culture. Party,
(28:49):
they party, they're they're great people. If you go to Lebanon,
they'll take you in like your family. Who's who borders Lebanon, Ryan,
Syria, Israel, I was right, Georgian, Jordan? Of course I
should have known that. Well,I've seen Israel commercials. It looks sick.
That's another place, dude, dude, it looks you want to talk
about the best looking women in theworld might very well be I mean,
let's be honest, it's Columbia.Yeah, I agree, Colombia, let's
(29:14):
be honest. But yeah, andthen and in Miami. But but but
but but no, but I mean, the best looking women in the world
might very well be from in Lebanon, and in Israel and probably in Syria,
even though it's war travels the broyou won't be sorry. I'm gonna
so hopefully I've mid the least man. There's some beautiful places in itaast.
(29:36):
I bet when I have enough money, I can just go there and relax
and chill. Ball out. You'renever gonna chill and you never never relax.
Take Okay, well I'm gonna ballout there. But yeah, yeah,
well you'll surf. You could surf. M yeah there, way there,
there's ways. Think there must be. Fuck. I got to go
on a swell. Then do youthink we can freaking maybe FaceTime someone?
Yeah? A big fan. I'ma big fan of Jonah Hill. I
love John You think you can FaceTimehim. He In fact, when Jonah
(30:00):
Hill met me once, he goes, I'm a fan. He said that
once. I only met him once. I swear to God. Shut that's
really random. He worked with him, didn't you know? Oh, I'm
a huge fan. See if youhave his number? No, I don't
have a nice shot up yeah number. No, I don't have his number.
I mean, you know, JonahHill. If you're watching this,
which you obviously aren't, reach outto poopies, he brings you up constantly.
(30:22):
Do you want to FaceTime? Haveanybody famous? Year? Stevo?
Let's FaceTime Stevo. That's the missSteve. Yeah, let's FaceTime him.
Dude, he's the man. He'sprobably sleeping because he's on tour. Maybe,
but we'll see he's freaking on theEast Coast. Maybe I ain't sleeping,
bro Oh he sleeps. You know? How many hours ahead the East
(30:45):
Coast is? He put me in, He put his number in as emergency
contact. How many hours ahead ish He's years ahead, dude. How
many hours ahead would you say NewYork is from here? Oh? Fuck?
Ten hours? I mean it's threehours before this convo with Stevo happens.
I hope you can appreciate that Poopiesthinks the East Coast is ten hours
(31:07):
ahead. Let's keep it moving threehours. Yeah, oh really, yes,
because there's mountain time. Stevo Hiloves say what's up? Hi,
guys, say what's up to?Brian Callen Stevollen, Nothing, buddy,
I'm doing I'm doing Poopsy the podcast, the greatest podcast ever made. And
(31:30):
uh we were, we were singingyour praises and he goes, let's FaceTime
somebody, let's FaceTime Jonah Hill.I was like, well, I don't
have Jonah Hill's number randomly on myphone. And he goes, I go,
let's let's call Stevo since we've beentalking about him. So I miss
you. You're a great person onthe podcast. Yeah, you're on the
podcast right now, right now.Thank god, I'm on the podcast.
(31:56):
I've been on the road and unableto record by appsiode of the shittiest podcast
ever. Yeah, it's so meaningfulthat I'm able to make a sneak appearance.
Yeah, when I when I'm inAlabama at the moment you're following just
grew by at least ten to elevenpeople. So this is exciting. Dude.
(32:17):
Yeah, I mean it, Andit's great to hear your voice,
man, like while we're singing praises. Let me tell you, Brian Callen,
how how eternally grateful I am fora year support over the years.
Well, you're worth it. You'reyou're worth it, and you're I loved
you right away, so listen,it was it was easy for me.
(32:37):
You're one of the good guys.I love you both. I appreciate the
call. And uh yeah, man, fucking good good luck Brian. That
podcast said, Oh yeah, itseems to be a real, real live
smash. No, it's a it'sa cultural force, and it's making a
(32:58):
huge difference Stevo. And and I'mgonna let you get back to your to
your vigorous love. Yeah, andmaking the world of funnier place. So
God bless Stevo. All right,I'll yeah, Stevo, love you,
legend the best. Yeah, heanswered. That's how cool he is,
he answered my phone call. It'sjust a humble dude. You know.
Don't worry, folks, that's notthe last time we'll hear from Stevo on
(33:21):
the podcast. He will be backas a guest, so please stop asking
us. We reached out, itwill happen. Part of being a good
comic is not and realizing you're notbetter than your audience. Yeah, you
always get yeah, well we're not. I mean everyone's equal, I think
a little bit until they lie orcheat you, and then yeah, do
you not know that New York isthree hours ahead? I don't know as
(33:43):
far as way, dude, I'veonly been there once. What's the diamonds
and the trugs and then there's thethe nugs, like the nuggets like that
chicks such a nug a nug likea golden nugget. Nu Like, dude,
that chicks such a nug poops likeyou better pull that one. Wow,
that's all surfer lingo. Yeah anug, boss, she's such a
(34:06):
nug. Oh just fucking wanders.Pump it so hard, pump nug.
Yeah, bro, poopy pumps nyah, due this aub would go. It'd
be like, do poopies pump pumpsuch a nug? Like, dude,
poopies pull a nug? Or likeyou pull a chick? Language Yeah,
if you like have a chick oryou like pulled it? Like what fuck
(34:29):
boys? Did you did you pullthat chick last night? Or what you
pulled that chick then you chumped it? No, yeah, and she was
a nug and I pumped it nocondom. Yeah. Do a lot of
feminists watch this show? I don'tknow. I hope so do a lot
of feminist hardcore feminist they watch youmerged to hardcore feminists at Berkeley. No,
(34:52):
if they watch it, dude,if it's just you know real,
They watched it in class just likepoint what the problem is? Yeah,
no soft viewers, no off.Audience went and the winner for anti found
you get the boy. So it'sjust like a bike bump trogs it nugs
any other man. You go,oh, dude, so much. The
(35:15):
waves are firing, waves are firing. Um yeah, so many are about
the score right now? Score likethe waves. How do you when you
ever hear people when I always findon like they have a saying for when
they came dude, I nutted everywhere? Oh yeah yeah yeah, I mean
(35:36):
I busted. I busted all overeverywhere. I fuck my buddy goes.
Yeah. Then I capped off andI was like, hey, bro,
can you like Jesus? That's whenyou lose You lose your an. Yeah,
when you fucking release your load,you release your an Oh really yeah.
I always say it's when I getwhen I give some of my essence.
(35:57):
Yeah yeah. Or you bless themyou earned it. You can blastom
too. Welcome. Yes, you'reblessed. I blessed you. Yeah,
the blessing, dude. We givethese chicks blessings. Yeah. My buddies
got diamond dick, So you knowthey're like, they love it. Dude.
It's just like your dick's perfect.Oh, I know it's so boring.
You're funny and your dick is perfect. Whatever. Yeah, now they're
(36:17):
understanding. Like before I wasn't gettinglaid at all, but now they're figuring
out the words getting around that.I have a diamond dick too, dude.
That's the first thing I said toyou. It's like perfect size,
perfect rounds. It's got a heavyit's got it doesn't go too deep,
you know, it doesn't hurt.It's got a chiquita banana cur Yeah,
(36:37):
it's got a belly. Yeah.The diamond dicks, dude, we need
to make a shirt diamond dick.Diamond diamond shaped piss holes. Ship is
one thing about us. We gota couple of diamond shaped piss, hanging
heavy, hang heavy true in America. Well this has been great, Yeah,
dude, this is really covered alot of ground. Yeah, podcasts
(37:00):
anymore, it might be the greatest. Thanks dude. Yeah, I try,
man, I'm getting better. Youwill get better better. Yeah,
I gotta come on your podcast anytime. I'd be stoved. I'd love to
get you on there, Brian.Fuck. Final question, Final question?
Who do who I need to suck? Who's dick do I need to suck
to get into this fucking stand upshit? Um? No, one's just
(37:22):
become undeniable. Okay, I meanmine obviously, but no, but I
sucked Diamond dick. So just I'malways here to support you. Yeah,
be any way I can cool?Well, fuck, maybe I could do
like a stand up comedy some ship. I don't know. I'll throw you
up on stage, dude, I'llbe pumped real for real. Okay,
I got some good shock the bitejokes. Yeah. Maybe maybe we'll maybe
(37:44):
when i'm we'll figure out what myrole schedule is. That's my question.
I'll bring you out sick. Comeon, man, I'm sicked. Dude.
Hey, you're a legend, dudefor real, dude, real guy,
right, here. He's a realfucking human dude. He's got a
big heart and you guys, I'mI'm honored to have him on The Poopies
Podcast. Shitties Podcast. Ever,we're gonna wrap it up. Thank you
guys for watching. Stay tuned nextweek. I don't know who we're gonna
(38:07):
have on. I'll be in Mexico, but maybe a Zoom shit or some
shit. But yeah, thank youguys for watching. Subscribe up here and
watch the ladies video up here.We're signing out late, go to bed
grums. Thanks for tuning in everyone. Like I said at the beginning of
this episode, we're going to keepthis thing going. Stay shitty and let
us know in the comments if you'velearned anything today. Poopies gave us a
(38:30):
lot of new lingo tad to ourvocabulary, but I think that it might
be in everyone's best interest if wedon't. No pumping, no trog chaining,
or no grom bashing is necessary outsideof the Shittiest Podcast. The Shittiest
Podcast is produced by the World's WorstPeople, Tyler Nielsen, Brian Tillotson,
Frank Driscoll and narrated by Me thenarrator. Special thanks to the straw Hout team
Popular Podcasts
Fudd Around And Find Out
UConn basketball star Azzi Fudd brings her championship swag to iHeart Women’s Sports with Fudd Around and Find Out, a weekly podcast that takes fans along for the ride as Azzi spends her final year of college trying to reclaim the National Championship and prepare to be a first round WNBA draft pick. Ever wonder what it’s like to be a world-class athlete in the public spotlight while still managing schoolwork, friendships and family time? It’s time to Fudd Around and Find Out!
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!