August 1, 2023 • 48 mins
Poopies and Gabby talk about their childhood and high school experiences, pooping outdoors, comedy, and how humbling it can be.
They talk about masturbation and being horny kids and weird shit they see online and at sex shops, and Poopies says he never went on jerkmate.com and them gives a shout-out.
They talk about sobriety and share drug stories, mostly shitty ones.
This episode is sponsored to you by:
They talk about masturbation and being horny kids and weird shit they see online and at sex shops, and Poopies says he never went on jerkmate.com and them gives a shout-out.
They talk about sobriety and share drug stories, mostly shitty ones.
This episode is sponsored to you by:
- BlewChew use promo code POOPIES
- Jerkmate use promo code POOPIES
- Manscaped use promo code POOPIES
- MyBookie enter promo code POOPIES
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw hot media people you know like Canda Sell, Ronda Santis.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I don't know any of those people. You don't need
to know that I know Ben Shapiro.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Yeah, it's all in that vein. It just gets everybody
fucking riled up.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Yeah, you got a good following on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Thanks, welcome back to the show.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
I've got my Romney politician look going on today instead
of mister Rogers, but that doesn't matter. Today we have
a great episode with Gabby Lamb, the greatest, hottest scratch
that comedian that even has her own personal booger wall.
Poopies and Gabby connect over their experiences of being misunderstood
geniuses that.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Suck at map.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Poopies relives his villain origin story of public shits, and
of course, how could we not mention funeral poops?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
What's a home.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
That's some kind of cast rollers?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Put your hands together.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
It's hard though when you get in some of those crowds,
you know, they're like, you're like fucking laugh already.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
The shittiest podcast in the world.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
It was so funny the other day you're talking about
like be like who wants to date like myself? Or
who wants even like you're talking about yourself. It was
so funny. It was like I don't want to tell
the people about the real me, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
It was pretty classic.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, the whole thing of like, you know when people
are like, just be yourself if you want to attract somebody,
and I'm like, I don't want somebody to be attracted
to who I really am. Yeah, fucking grow up.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Like I used to pick my boogers and wipe them
on the wall.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I had to. I have a fucking booger wall. I
have a booger wall right.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Next to my bed.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Dude, I have a booger wall right next to my
fucking bed. And the other day I was like, I
can't do this anymore, and I had to paint over it.
But you can still see. I can't even scrape it.
I just painted over and I could still see, like
the lumpy but they're still there.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah, yeah, a little texture.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
To it. I can't wip.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I get so lazy sometimes, Yeah, get.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Forrill so much easier just to wipe it for real,
and they.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Stick to and then they draw it's so hard getting.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Oh yeah, they turned into like concrete.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
They really do.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
And then and if you scrape them off, they pull
off the like pain. Yeah, why what is going on
in our fucking snotny?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
That's awesome, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I love grocery.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
But you're from ocean Side? Yeah, sick.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
You're from carls.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, Carlsbad ocean Side.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yeah. I was like, went to high school in Carlsbad
and then moved to Hawaii and then moved to South
Ocean Side.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
That is so fucking classic, like North County. Yeah, I
feel like everybody I grew up with did that exact move.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Everybody goes to Hawaii and then comes back. Yeah. Yeah,
it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Hell do you thirty six?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Okay, so we're like in the same I'm thirty one.
So we grew up in like the same Yeah, we
know the same people.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I'm sure we do. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
So I grew up with like the state beach kids
by offshore surf shop.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I was one of those dere liks. Yeah, okay, just
fucking getting in trouble all the time. Yeah, fighting, yep.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Drinking, Yeah, you start every I feel like everybody like
in the area that we grew up and started drinking
at like thirteen, for sure started getting sucked up.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So yeah, like I started smoking we when I was thirteen,
and then like going to parties and shit when I
was probably like sixteen, and then yeah, then started drinking heavily. Yep.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yeah, it's fucking lawless.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And I was like, I'm going to Hawaii to fucking
get sober, and then it was just the whole other party.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Go. Yeah, isn't there so much meth in Hawaii?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah? Luckily I never touched it over there.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah yeah, no, it was too.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, there's huge homeless camps.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Really.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, it's sad.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I guess, not a nicer place to be homeless though.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah that's true. It's yeah, that's very true. But yeah,
so it's like an epidemic over there really yeah sucks.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
What is why? Like what is the.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I think they just get a taste of it and
then they get addicted, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yeah, and then they see all the other like locals
or their friends you know, doing it. So they probably
just get sucked in, you know, yeah, damn. Probably not
their their fault. It is just like that drug sell.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah right, and it's just that like Little Island mentality too.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, you're like stuck on this rock, you know. Yeah,
so how's.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
This air pump? The thing's old school?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
What is this?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
It's a motorcycle shop.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, it's a motorcycle shop.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Do you guys usually recording here?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
No, we're usually next door.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
But I think like it's being it was booked out
and it's such a like like early notice, re late notice,
because I was like, fuck, I hope. She replies to
my email, Yeah, so I did. Do you not check
your emails?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I did, and I responded and I it wasn't letting
me like confirm. Oh really yeah, And I kept trying
to and it kept being like opening, it kept opening
up like my YouTube to like confirm, and then it
wouldn't confirm, And so I emailed whoever emailed me, and
I was like, hey, I'm just saying like I can't
confirm through this app. So I'm confirming that nobody will
me back. And I was like, I'm just gonna hope
(05:12):
we all really, Yeah, I'm glad that you reached out.
It was like I was gonna head over here. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
We were in bed last night and she's like, oh,
Gabby's coming. I was like, okay, well it's eleven o'clock
at night, like I don't think Ryan's awake, my producer. Yeah,
and I was like, okay, well let's try to figure
out in the morning. So I'm glad we got together
and made this happen. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, because yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I was like, when did you move out of Oceanside?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
She done? Dude, Oh, good job as soon as I
graduated high school.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Good job you graduated. Yeah I did. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I don't know how I really. I had a one
point four or five GPA when I graduated, but I
was taking a bunch of like art classes at Mira
Coasta College, so it like counted toward credit. Yeah, so
I had enough credits to graduate.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Fuck. I always wanted to go to college. But then
I was like, so, like, just like Many Coast is not,
like that's not a college. Yeah, it's like a community college.
So I thought I was like too good for community college.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So I was like, fuck college, I'm dropping out of
high school. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah for me, I was like n y U or nothing,
but like I was not smart enough, Like I didn't
have the grades to get into a school like that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah. I know. We're just like living a dream that
we can know, like is that. I don't know, It's
just I think it's our ego.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
For fucking sure. I literally I always had these dreams
of being like, I'm going to go to an ivy
League college. I want. I wanted to go to Yale
so bad, but there's absolutely no fucking way in hell.
Like I didn't my grades, like since middle school were
just kind of like ds and cs. But in my head,
I was like, I'll get to Yale.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah, you get there.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And then yeah, of course, as you know, as long
as you went to community college or like I would
say nowadays, that's a real college. Yeah, I would even
call that community college because I went to continuation school
and I got kicked out of continuation school.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Nice because I did a.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Beer run and then this fucking snitch ass freaking soccer
mom saw me taking the beer from the trunk or
from the back seat into the trunk. And then yeah
at freaking Carlsbad Village, acab life, I know, and then
the officers come into my classroom, we need to talk
to you, and I was like, get fucked, like fuck off.
(07:24):
I was probably like a senior in high school, so
I don't know, like seventeen eighteen. When did you drop
out sophomore year?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh and then you went to a continuation school.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah, like sophomore year, I dropped out. So I had
to move back to Missouri with my mom, and.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
She was a GD teacher.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Okay, so like my dad's like, yeah, you're gonna go home,
go back to Missouri with your mom and get your GED. Fuck.
It took me like four times to pass the test. Yeah,
and i'd even end up like passing the test there.
I had to fly back to here and take the
test here. And I still don't even have the certificate
because I went to fucking Mary Coast to Callege to
do the GED. It's like a little GD room. Yeah,
(08:01):
and I never got the certificate or anything. So I
don't even fucking know if I haven't.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
You did you do? I guess you didn't because you
didn't graduate the fucking but you you you're from here?
Oh sorry, she's not on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
No, she can't know.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
If you want to.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
His girlfriend's here. But we had to take up the
fucking high school exit exam.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Oh fuck.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I filled in the bubbles as fast as I.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I cheated, because there was no way I was gonna pass.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I was like, got a cheat, I cheated.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I remember going to the bathroom and exchanging, you know,
like asking the kids like what did you put down
for this? Because I couldn't. I can't do math. Yeah,
I have like a second grade math level. Me too.
It's so bad.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
School, like they made it hard on on the you know,
unfortunate brain sell people.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, because like I struggled with math so hard.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Like I was like, fucking I got the algebra and
I was like, what the fuck is this right? It's
so bad?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Algebra was so fucking hard.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, and then I finally got like one equation, like
fucking you're supposed to like study it and quiz and test. Fuck.
I finally got past like the first test. I'm like,
fuck this. They want me to do more algebra?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Yeah, yeah, fuck no.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I remember I barely.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Even fucking got past that one.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
It was so hard. Like there's so much memorization too
in math, and I can't. I cannot memorize for shit, piss.
And I remember like getting like getting into third grade
and having to learn like the multiplication tables, and I
just like I remember just memorizing it, but I didn't
understand why you know. Yeah, so I think it was
(09:37):
just this thing of like, Okay, I don't know why,
you know, three times three equals out nine. It was
just like that answer, but why does that make sense?
You know? And just after that, I was like I can't.
I can't do this.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah I don't get it. Yeah, not fucking get it. No,
school is not for us.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I remember in in fucking like I think my senior year,
I was put on adderall and I would drink like
a monster and every morning and have an adderall and
go in like my first class was math and I
never got any better. But I was just like so
in it, you know, just but I wasn't good, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
I used to take adderall too, and then I was
like became a zombie really yeah, So then I was
like fuck this.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I gave it to my older brother to sell at school.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
That's so fun. That's like the classic tale. Yeah. It
was like yeah, I up, but yeah, you still take it. No,
that's good.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
No. I got prescribed vivance a couple of months ago,
but I got off of I was off medication for
a long time and then a couple of months ago
I went got tested PRADHD and how.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Do you get tested?
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Oh my god. I had to go through a huge
fucking process. It was like a five hour test, damn
in a like a neuro she was a neuropsychologist somebody.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
If you don't pass, you have ADHD or something.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
That's exactly it. And she like it was like five
hours and it came back and.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
She was like, whoa, you got more than that?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Was like you, how have you made.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
It to the psych ward right now?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Basically it's like how do you function? I was like,
I don't know. I don't I can't retain nothing.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Do you have your like passions?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You know? Like that's like for me, it's like surfing,
it's like therapy for me, you have any like passions
like that? Art?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You know, I've always done art. I've like laid off
of it a bit recently, but that's always been like
my very you know, like it's very meditative.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah, for sure, you get express yourself through the yeah,
piece of paper.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
And pen in your you know, And that's like the
one thing my brain has always been able to like
zero in on is just you know, doing art.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah, but that's cool. Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
I fucking always wanted to be able to surf. I
was always so bad at it.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, I'm really bad at it too. Just you got
to like start young. I didn't start young enough.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh yeah, yeah you do. You gotta be.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I have the wide stance. It looks like I'm fucking
taking a ship when I'm serving, like the wide stance.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yea, yeah, goofy looking.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah are you goofy?
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Fucking are you goofy foot?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Not regular?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Nice?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah I'm not. That's all right. It's dork, dude, that's
all good.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
My brothers would always make fun.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Of me, and really girl with brothers.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I have two old brothers who are from Carlsbad. We
different moms, Okay, so they their mom lived in Carlsbad,
So they went to Carlsbad.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
High and blah blah blah. Okay, when I was fucking
I was.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
They made you probably super tough though, huh.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Yeah, yeah we were. There was quite an age different,
like my oldest one is ten years older than me
and the other one is five years okay, And like
my house growing and it was two stories. My brothers
lived like downstairs and like the come den, you know,
like that. There was like their weird little things.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Sure couch was.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
The fucking jiz couch. And I remember trying to sneak
down then when I was little in the always watching
Beavis and Butthead, and I was like, what going on?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
What you know? You can't watch this?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah? Always they don't.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
They get out of you, faggot.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
They always my brothers and so because I I do
stand up, and I don't know how to like make
a joke out of this, but like I remember growing up,
my brothers would always just be like, get out of
your little homo, And I'm like, I'm seven, Like what
do you?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yeah, like literally know what that means?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah? You fucking ho? What's home?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
That's some kind of cast roll or something? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah that's awesome. You do stand up?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Sick in l a Yeah, sick I to come watch
the stand up?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I enjoy doing stand up?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Do you do it?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I like it?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
But the fucking lights are riding my eyes and I
can't see ship.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It's fun, it's a it's a hard, it's an intense career.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, I suck at it, Like I'll go up there
and just like I'm just get so nervous and like
so like, I don't know, it's just like how.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Many times have you done it? Do you like actively
do it.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Or dude, I've done it. Like the first time I
did it was with Steve oh really Midwest.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
At a sold out show he had he brought you on.
Uh huh I opened your first time?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah, and my first my fucking it was fucked up?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Did you bomb? Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I killed it. But it was just like I had
it kind of planned out. I've made it like that
day I had helped from Preston.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
No you didn't really you, but you wrote your ship.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Out that I kind of just wrote it in my head,
you know. And like the first thing I said is
hi everyone, I'm here to suck some cocks. So I
hope you brought your lip bomb And everyone just started laughing, especially.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
For like a Steve O audience. That fucking yeah, they
loved it, love it.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Yeah, it was pretty cool. But it's hard though when
you get in some of those crowds, you know, like
you're like fucking laugh already.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
It's horrible.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
You're like they're like waiting, just.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Like oh yeah, this shit's not funny. You're like, okay,
fuck off, get fucked.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, it's horrible. It's a lot of that.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
It's a lot, a.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Lot of humiliation sometimes.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It's so it's a very humbling experience, and you also
you get fucking pissed because you're like, why do you laugh? Like?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I know this is funny?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Fucko, why are you here?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
For real, it's yeah, it's a very humbling career.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah it is. It's it's a tough crowd.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It is. You can feel the full spectrum of emotion.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
You're probably good at it, though, you know you don't
give a fuck. I don't.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I don't know if I'm like a great joke writer
I have presence, I don't. I've never been like a
really good like joke writer though.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
So okay, well yeah I don't think you really need
to be I think you just be yourself. You've got it.
It's true for sure.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, it's definitely for me. It's like more personality driven.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Now that Gavy confirmed it's possible to graduate with at
one point four GPA, what an idiot? And Poopy tells
tough comedy crowd to laugh or go home. We're gonna
take a quick break when we're back. Poopies and Gabby
connect over mutual masturbation kind of welcome back to the show.
(16:16):
Now that you made it this far, you get to
join comedian Gabby Lamb and Poopies as they talk about
things like pocket pussies and vintage porn that's right, and
Poopy's origin story of how he got his name.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And then also like the ship that I talk about.
It's very polarizing because it's like, I'm dirty and people
are either very into that or they're just like, we can't.
Why would you talk about this? Why would a woman
talk about, you know, being a horny kid, And it's like,
because that's what kids are horny.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I don't know for sure. Definitely I was really horny
when I was a kid, and I never I never
got laid.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, it'd be weird if you did, I guess.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah. So like this one time, I've found my brother's
pocket pussy.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Your brother had a pocket pussy.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, he was like a senior in high school or
maybe maybe a little older. I was like probably like
a freshman, okay, or sophomore. Okay, maybe I think I
was a junior.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Actually, Oh so you guys are super close in age.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah, two years apart.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Okay, m hm, you found.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I was like, what's this? And I kind of like
it looked like bussy and I was like, WHOA, what
the fuck to do with this thing?
Speaker 3 (17:26):
And I smelled it. I smelt it, and I was
like ew.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And I didn't use it. I fucking put it away.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
But I had I had dirt on him, you know,
I could have.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I could have busted out anytime, like you got a
pocket pussy, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
That's how like fucking family is though, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
So funny.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Did you tell him that you found it?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah? Oh yeah, because he was trying to act all
cool all the time in front of my friends and
like punk me. So this one time I was like,
oh yeah, you want to punk me? And I came
out with this pucket pussy and I threw it at
him and then he beat my ass.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And all this fucking cum flies out when you throw
it out.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
My god. Yeah, it was kind of wet, it was,
I thinking, but it.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Was like freshly used. Yeah, that's so. It's such a
funny story.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, it was fucked up.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I wish that was my story because that's such a
fucking funny story to tell.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, these there's so many new toys now these days,
you know.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah you can't. You know, there's like an AI fucking
chick or dude. I don't know if they made the
dude yet or not, but like the like it's the
robots and there's just a half body or something. I
think it's just like no, no bottom legs and like
no no head. It's just like this.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Part it's an ass and pussy.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Yeah, it's so weird.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, I know. You go into sex shops and you
see like the fuckable torsos and I'm.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Like, who oh, yeah, yeah so heavy.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I want to do a prank with one of those
or something absolutely, just like throw it out of a
port and like fucking pull up my pants back? What
are you looking at?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
That's so funny. That's so fucking funny. That's dude. There's
the ship that I see it, Like this ship that's
insect shops blows my mind and like not even in
a I guess it's kind of judgmental, but I'm just like,
who's buying who's buying this fuckable ass? You know they
always have like a puckered anus for.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Sure, some nerdy asque kid that gets no push for sure.
Weird ass old dude, that's fucking wish he could get
a tender date or something. It's so wild. Yeah, yeah,
it's so funny. I want to, like, I don't want
to put a person on blast, but I think it'd
be funny if you just waited for someone to come
(19:47):
out of a sex shop with one of those and like.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Get an interview with them.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
What are you using this for?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Yeah, fucking what inspired you to get this?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, exactly what? Who is who is the mark get
for these things?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah? Yeah? Does it vibrate?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And like, what does the rest of that person's house
look like?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Go to jerk mat dot com and fucking.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Jerkmate dot com. Dude, I always see the ads for it.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yeah, they sponsor this podcast.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Do they really?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Do they really poopies you can fucking dot com? Yeah,
fucking that's so they really sponsor it. Yeah, promo code poopies.
You get the live cam. You know, there's interact with
like models from all over the world.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, cam to cam interaction and there's a button you
can click to fucking turn their vibrator on.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, so cool, sick. So for all those guys out
there that want to get some models.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Fucking fantasies come true.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Go to jerk maate dot com.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
But yeah, yeah, because the ads always look like snapchat, right, yeah,
it's like a snapchating.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Like girls bouncing around.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Yeah, yeah, they're always bouncing around.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
They love bouncing around. I don't think I've ever bounced
around in my entire life.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's good. Remember that one show that had the chicks
on the trampolines, it was fucking Girls Going the Man Chow?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
No, what was the man show?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Girls Going Wild? As fucked.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I never watched Girls Going Wild.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I did. I was like, what, this is awesome?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I was too young, and also no, that wasn't Yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I just saw the commercials for it, but never like
got it.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
I always dreamed of getting it, but I was like
too broke, so I could never do it.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But the commercials were cool.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
They always had what are the drums? The steel drums?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Yeah. I only saw all the blurred ship you know.
And then I think maybe one time my friend had
it at his house and I was like, let's watch it,
like I've fucking never seen it.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
See this is such a guy thing like that get
around and they're like let's all watch a Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I would ever.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I would never go to my girlfriend's house. You know.
My friends would be like, hey, you.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Guys want to let's jack off together.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You guys want to watch hot Milk Bank step Son together?
Like yeah, guys do that.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah. Yeah. When I was little, I fucking me and
my friends would take turns in my one friend's room.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
He had this va he had his VHS porn, this
one porn.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
You guys would all, yeah, we one at a time,
you know, the living room. One would be in the room,
and I remember it was my turn, and I was
the last one to go because I didn't have any
freaking any respect, you know, I was in I was
the last one to go in. And my friend's mom
(22:41):
comes home and the porno's on loud and she knocks
on the door. What's going on in there? And I'm like, fuck, dude,
she like totally blew it for me, and all my
friends were laughing, hysterical. Your friends are already they already,
they already juiced out. Yeah, So I was like, fuck,
I didn't even get to freaking experience.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
What was the fun? What were the fucking conversations? Like Okay,
so like somebody finished it, and then a guy would
come out and be like your turn, bro, Like.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, it's like yeah, it was kind of like kind
of weird. We're young, you know, so it was our
first experiences with masturbating and talking about it. Were you
like that, No, we didn't talk about it. We were
just done, and then we don't. We don't say anything,
you know what I mean. We were kind of embarrassed.
That's so funny.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, we're kind of embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
But I remember this one scene there was a check
there was a checkered floor and this chick was getting
banged on the motorcycle. Yeah nice, and yeah that's really and.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Then you got to fast forward it because it was
old school VHS.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, but yeah, I was.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
The last one to go, and my friend's mom came
home and she's like, what's going on in there? Knock
trying to get in the door. I'm like fucking turning
everything off, zipping up my pants, like, oh, nothing's going on,
you know, just in my friend's room, fucking by myself
with some fucking porno going on. What was traumatized, traumatizing,
And I never wanted to see her again, you know,
(24:02):
because she knew like what I was probably knew what
I was doing in there, of course.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
So like, yeah, I never wanted to go to Charlie's
house ever.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Again, not Charlie's house. Yeah, Charlie's house was like the
house we always went to to get into charity house.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah. Then my house turned into the party house.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah. Yeah, and every broke, a window got broken, Like
every weekend, my friends would get drunk, start talking ship
and my friends would fight each other. Yeah, that was
like the Carlsbad Ocean side things you do.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, the guys all fight for no reason. What is
anybody even fighting about?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
So retarded, so retarded?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
What even our fifteen year old like, what do you
have to be angry at?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Like just yeah, probably like childhood drama or something.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Childhood drama. I can't even imagine. I don't even remember
what it was back then. Yeah, what do you even
fucking fight over?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Just like if someone even said the littlest thing, you know, yeah,
like oh your mom's hot or something.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
That's exactly what did you say?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yeah, what you say about my mom?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Yeah? Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, I Like it was always
weird for me going to parties because like my name
was poopies.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
And I never got yeah, since I was like fourteen it.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Shuck, Wait, how'd you get poopies?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Well, I was at Charlie's house one day. Arlie's Yeah. Yeah.
It always started out Charlie and my friend Ricky was
such an instigator, you know, he like loved instigating the
ship on you know. Oh was he was?
Speaker 1 (25:30):
He the alpha?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Yeah, he was like the leader of the past.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
He was the alpha. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
And then like we were watching Jackass one night and
I was like, fuck yo, I'm gonna do something stupid tomorrow.
So like we had a sleepover at Charlie's and then
the waves were flat, so we didn't serve that morning,
and we were really bored. So my friend's like, you said,
you're gonna do something stupid tomorrow. So like, fucking I
didn't really know what to do. I had to take
a poop at the time, so my friend's like, fucking
(25:58):
don't poop in the toilet, goes ship in the innerset.
So I like went into the intersection and shipped in
the intersection of the Acacia and Garfield right there next
to Deani's. Wow. Yeah, that's where it all happened.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
And that's how you became poopies.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Yeah. And then the next week at school, my friends
were like, yeah, he ship in the street, and no
one likes. No one thought it was cool. And then
the rumor no one thought it was cool, so the
rumor's wrong with you. The rumor started that I fucking
shipped my pants, and then all the bullies at the
school and all the fucking cool kids were like, yeah,
ship his pants, And then that's when it all started.
(26:35):
I hated high school. That's when I dropped out.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Dude, come on, but shooting in the fucking street is
way cool.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah. It was like for us, but for other people
that are like they stretch kids from Carlsbad that fucking
get spoiled by their parents. You don't know about the
street life.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
They don't that ship.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
It's like gross to them. Yeah, can you do it?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, that's a crazy thing to do.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
For real.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Have you ever done a public poop?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh yeah a lot. I ship a lot in the
in public. I remember one time. At first, it was
not because I wanted to, and then it started to
becoming Then I was just all, I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Ship, yeah real quick, Papa squat.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
When I was little. You know what, when I was little,
little little, I would go, now, I do do it
now something when I have to. There's so you know,
my head is like flooding now with all right. I started.
It started for me when I was little, like going
to my backyard at home and I'd be like, I'm
(27:35):
not using the toilet today. I'm I'm gonna ship in
the art and I would do it on purpose and
my dogs. I would watch my dogs then go and
eat it.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Shut the fuck.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Yeah, there's probably like leftover like corn and ship in there,
you know, like.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Oh, they loved it. They would snack on it. Yeah,
three dogs and it was just like it was like
vultures to a carcass, you know, and they would just
like go and get the ship.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
That's kind of entertaining.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Yeah, I was entertaining, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I didn't don't.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I don't know where my friends were. I don't know
what I was doing, just shit in my backyard by
myself and watching my dogs eat it started then, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And then I remember the time where like, you know,
then I like kind of started growing up and I
was like I can't you know, I can't be shitting
in public anymore. And then I was like fifteen years
old and I went on a date with a guy
and we were like making out in his truck and
I was just like, I got it, I'm gonna shit
and I was like just one second and I got
(28:34):
out to and there was nowhere to go. There was
nowhere to go, so I like went. We were like
parked on the side of a hill and I was like,
I'm gonna go. Me and I when I ship in
the bushes, no, and I was wearing I remember I
was wearing a pad and I was just like, I
guess I'll just wipe with my pag because I was
on my period. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I left the pad
(28:55):
and the bushes.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Ship your dogs, get out and find.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
My dogs were there. And you know, There's been a
lot of instances since then, but I think the last
real big one was I was at a funeral and
it was the funeral was at at my It was
an ex boyfriend of mine who died, and the funeral
was at his house. It's a really small house and
I had to shit and I was like, I cannot
(29:23):
do this at this house. It's filled with people.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, you're going to blow up the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I can't do it. Yeah, So I remember I like
held it and I left the funeral. And he lived
in Pasadena, and I went, I drove a couple of
doors down and then I went and shipped in a
neighbor's yard and I had socks in the back of
my car, and I was like, yeah, yes, I'll leave
the song and that i'd like, you know, wadded up
the socks and left them in there, and that was
(29:50):
the last time.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Hell yeah, I think that was a last It takes
a lot of courage should talk about the poop stores,
you know, because a lot of girls won't even say
they poop.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
They won't. And I don't know what happened to me
that made me be so vocal about it. Maybe my
brothers growing.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Up with brothers.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
No, there's not Yeah, you just don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
There was never a shame around it. For me.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
I remember my mom when I was little, we had
we drove to Utah together from like went on a
little fucking road trip or whatever Utah, and she said
I was like five or six, and she said the
only thing I said to her the entire drive was poop,
like she'd asked me a question, I go poop. She
was like, it was horrible, Like I just wanted to
have a conversation and all you would say was poop.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yeah, you go through those phases, Yeah, those phases in life.
You start young, like, fuck, why am I in a
road troop with my mom? I want to be with
my friends.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I want to be shitting in the yard with my Yeah,
you know.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
That's so funny. Well, thanks for sharing those stories with.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
You're so welcome. I love talk. I love talking about it.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Yeah, well you got to talk about it sometimes, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
You gotta. But it's you know, it's a title pressures.
They say you can't talk about disgusting things.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
No, I mean it's good to talk about things because
it gets it off your chest. It puts it in
the universe, you know, and it's funny.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Not everybody people are like, that's really a matun. I'm like,
I guess I'm immature then, because this.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Is what I love. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I love watching I love hearing shit stories. I love
watching people do disgusting things. That's why I always fucking
loved Jackass and like those I loved it.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
You know, that's awesome things.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
This is my favorite. Like growing up, I was like that,
like that was like the funniest ship for sure, still
is still the funniest shit.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It was like a fucking like it was definitely a
trend like when in our era of fucking high school
and ship. Hell yeah, like there's just kids trying to
do dumb ship just because they fucking seen it on
fucking Jackass Ship. You know.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I remember that, like it was such an era of
our generation too. And I remember like in my middle
school when you know, when Jackass was like fucking you know,
popping because you know in our MTV Friday Night, right,
and kids were always doing you know, like prank ship
at schools. And I remember this like group of guys
brought a bunch of like Penthouse magazines to school and
(32:07):
then like ripped, ripped all the pages out and like
threw them all over the school, like taping them on
the walls, and you know you'd see all like the
teachers running around trying to get you thought it was
so funny.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yeah, it was like the teachers were so the school
was so against all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I bet schools were so fucked up back then when
Jackass came out.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Oh they're probably fucking pissed, tissed, They're like, what the
fuck's going on?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Kids? Just running fucking ram yea, I love it.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah that's all. I just ran ramping my whole life
and yeah then yeah, then I ended up fucking homeless,
and you.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Know that's how, that's the natural. Did you actually end
up homeless?
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Yeah? Well I nice, Yeah it was. It was fun
for a while, but then it sucked.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I bet it did.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I was taking shit's all over the public.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Oh fuck, yeah you were, of course you were. Yeah,
you're living in a so you were you like renting
extra consistently.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Uh huh twenty bucks a day, twenty bucks a day? Yeah,
so I had Eventually I rented it for like a
month and a half or so.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I eventually had to pay him like two thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Fuck, yeah it got. I racked it up pretty pretty
up for a fucking you haul. Huh. Yeah, well it's
either that or like live at the campsite or some shit.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Now you's better.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Now we know that little Gabby liked to shit outdoors
and watch her dogs eat it.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
And what happens to socks left in her car? It's
time to take a short break. We earned it.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
When we're back, we'll talk tour dates for Gabby and
sobriety And how can we talk about sobriety without telling
some drug horror stories.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
We can't, well, Poopies can't.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Jerk made is great, so are hear? Welcome back to
the Shittiest Podcast Today. He's talking to the one and only,
as you know, Gabby Lamb. Poopies and Gabby talk about
the lows before the highs, or them highs before the loads,
or them highs before the highs, all the highs. Anyway,
being sober is hard, and they're both They've got some tips.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I was having too much fun and then yeah, I
just got a lot too much fun and then things
got really bad. Yeah yeah, so I had to fucking
go to rehab and ship. Yeah uh huh okay, but
it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, the U haul rehab, rehab, Yeah okay, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
The U Haul was the worst thing that ever happened
to me. I'm like waving out my friends, like get
my U haul, Like what the fuck is going on
with Poopies, dude, Like what's happening to him? Like yeah,
I'm fine, guys, I'm fine, but I really wasn't. Yeah yeah, yeah,
but I was a trendsetter like everyone. After everyone saw
me in the U Haul box truck, all the other
(34:53):
fucking homeless crackheads started getting box trucks. Yeah, of course,
I was like, dude, don't fuck this is my idea.
Dude gonna blow for me.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, come on, don't. Yeah, let you have your thing.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
So my one friend he actually rented a box truck too,
but he didn't have money to pay the fucking bill
and they freaking got him for like extortion or some ship.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
They rest him.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yeah, he went to jail for.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Not paying the bill.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
How long was he in for?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Like a month or so? That sucks, Yeah I know. Yeah. Well,
I like I told him, like, we need to return these,
and I returned mine and then went in the rehab
and fucking he never returned his. He's running from U Haul.
They got him. He took the U haul back.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, yeah, he's barred from you.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Yeah yeah, but he's sober now good and yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
So I was really proud of him when I heard
he was sober and got a ship together. So he
bought a car now okay, good.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
He's got a car.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, he's got a car.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, he's making his payments. Yeah, they too. He still
owes you hal, I think does he really? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:03):
I think he's just doing payments with him. I think
they work something out.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
How many How long ago was that?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
This was in December?
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Oh it was recently. I was thinking it was like
years and I.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Think they took it away from him and I want
to say, like February.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Okay, yeah, so he's like newly sober too.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Yeah I heard you're sober.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
I am good.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
I know how long have you been?
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Almost five months?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Oh you're five months? Oh you're like newly sober?
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Really nice?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah are you?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Are you working in the program?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Yeah? Nice. It's anonymous though, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
I talked so I forget that, Like that's a thing,
and I'm always like I am yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
I get called out on it a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Do you really?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
It's so funny because like I listened to so many
podcasts with people like fucking Russell Brand, who's like the
captain of AA. You know, he's always on about how
ye in the room.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
So yeah, just like one of those things.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Yeah, it's more of it's like attraction rather than promotion.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
So I haven't called I'm not I don't really promote it.
I just like talk about it because it's helped me
so much, you know. Yeah, So it's not like I'm
promoting it like like that. But yeah, it's more of
an attraction. You like see someone that's gone through it
and they're like, fuck, I want to be like that. Yeah.
So that's the attraction over promotion, right. But it saved
my life. So and I'm still going to my meetings
(37:20):
and I'm working the steps and I'm fucking reading the
Big Book and.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Oh yeah, I love it too.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
How long have you been sober?
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I so my first sobriety day. I haven't drank since January.
I got sober January fourth, twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Damn, good job.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Thank you. But then over the sum summer, now I
have nine months relapse, not on alcohol. I was doing.
It started with mushrooms because I was like, yeah, I
stepped away from the program and I was just like
I don't need this, you know, I'm fine, like all
just fucking I was in this relationship that like the
(37:59):
guy I was was like doing, he was like really
into psychedelics and stuff, and I was like, I remember,
like there's all the science behind you and like you
know all this stuff now, like microdosing is like the
new antidepressant. So I was like, well, I'll just start microdosing.
You know, fine, that's not alcohol, yeah exactly exactly. So
(38:19):
I was like, anything that's just like not drinking cocaine,
I'll be good. Yeah, but I fucking hate I never
even when I was like getting sucked up, I never
liked mushrooms. I never liked weed. I didn't ever fuck
with them because I don't like feeling.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
I like uppers and I like alcohol same.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So like psychedelics just never and we just like, yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Like it's like if you do cocaine, you gotta drink.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Exactly, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
So that was like my bag. So I was like,
you know, I'm just gonna start microdosing. And then I did,
Like I went on like a huge mushroom trip, and
everybody else was like able to like have fun, and
it's always bad for me every time.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah he took too much.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I like, it's just something about my brain that like
cannot have. You know, people have really beautiful fucking experiences,
I think a lot.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Yeah, well it's a lot of like your back history too.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
You know it's horrible for me.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Yeah, I always get stuck in this loop where I'm.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Like, ye, yeah, yeah, I like you think it's not
gonna go away.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
And I'd like convince my every time I would like,
really trip hard, I'd be like, I think I just
smoked crack and now I'm in a crack then, and
like that's never happened in my head. I was like,
I'm gonna do crack.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Your mind portrays it like that.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
It's horrible.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Yeah, mushrooms are bad.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
There's so bad.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Don't do drugs. If you guys are out there and
you haven't done drugs, don't start.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Don't fucking star. It's not fun, especially if.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
You have We're saying that it's not fun.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
It's not fun. And if you're on drugs watching this,
fucking get some help, yeah, because I know you don't
want to be on the drugs, but it's addicting.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So it's addiction is a fucking beast, dude, and you
don't really mental health.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
It's all When I was yeah, it's all in the
same fucking thing. When I was like younger, I was like, yeah, fuck,
what's mental health? I don't even know what it was.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I was just like, these guys are fries.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
This is gay, dude. Yeah. I thought it was stupid.
I was like, what's mental health? I'm fine, Like I
want a party.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, that's what's cool.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
And I just thought mental health was just like I
don't even know, like I had no clue what it was.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
It wasn't really also talked about when we were young.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
You know, I feel like there's a.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Huge like research or a huge surge.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Right now, like really mental health is like depression, Yeah,
your happiness, everything, your behavior.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Yeah, how you function in the world, how you have
relationships with other people, Yeah, it's yeah, dude. And it's
like so I went out on mushrooms and then I
started doing them like every weekend because I was like, oh,
I'll just do like one big mushroom trip a year
to like reset myself.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
And again, like I stepped away from the program. I
like was just not I just was like doing things
on my own. And then I was just doing mushrooms
all the time and then not even liking it. And
then I started doing molly because I was like well
it's Molly, like I'm.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Gonna feel good. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
And I remember I like when I did Molly a
couple of times, and I was like, I went over
the summer, I went to my cousin's wedding in Italy
and like one of his friends like brought.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Mollie and.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
I was the one who was like everybody else was
like able to be normal and was just like having fun.
But for me, the whole night, I was like chasing
the mom where to go, where to go? And everybody
was like, yo, you're good, and I was like I
just need more and you know, and nobody else was
doing that. Everybody else was having fun and.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Yeah, no, we take it to the next level. There's
never enough.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
And it just and even being like a even like
being a sober I had been sober from alcohol for
so long. I was like, it's like it was weird
because I'd like know that I'm an addict, but then
you start like straying away from that and you're like, oh,
I can handle things. I'm fine, Yeah, as long as
I'm not doing the things that.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Are Again, it's horrible self bondage all of it.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah, And so I like kind of realized and then
like on my birthday of last year, August nineteenth, I
like I was doing mushrooms and I had a couple
of friends in town to come up, come hang out
for my birthday, and we were like, you know, I
was like, you know, if I'm wanna smoke weed, I
don't like weed. I never liked weed, but I was like, yeah,
fuck it. And then I got so high and it
(42:31):
was just like that night I went to bed and
I was like what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah, And the next day I was like, that's like
a spiritual awakening, it was.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
And then I started going back to the rooms in September,
so I restarted my date to twentieth.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yeah, it's all good. They're all like every you know,
there's no there's no shame in that.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
No, there's nothing.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
That's what's cool about that is they'll always take you back.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Yeah, they always do. And it's I had a lot
of pride around it for a little bit. It was
really hard for me to like admit that it was
a relapse because I was like, well, it's not alcohol,
it's not coke, Like yeah, it's just you know, it's fine.
But then I remember, like I had I got a
new like sponsor, and I'm.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Like, be real, let's get real, you know, right.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
And I got a new sponsor and I was like,
does it I don't have to restart my daycount, you know,
because I was doing that stuff. And she was like, well,
as your sponsor, if I told you that I was
out doing mushrooms and molly, would you consider that sober?
And I was like new and like that. She's like, yeah,
so you you should good.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
We're back.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I always got to own up to your fuck ups.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
It's hard.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
I know, I know, trust me.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
It's so.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
But that's but once you own up to it and
people are like, all right, cool, you owned up to
it and fucking let it be in the past.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
And people are very simple.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah for the most part for sure.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
And if you just don't do it again, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Yeah, that's how we operate though, you know. But yeah,
it's been good. Sobriety is the best thing ever happened
to me. It's the best, for sure.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Congress on your fucking five months.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Thanks thanks huge, Yeah, thanks, It's it wasn't easy. It's
not easy because fuck, I grew up around the gnarliest
fuckers in the world, like just smoking, drinking, partying, just
like drug dealers all around me. You know. It's just
like couldn't get out of it. So I finally got
out of it. So I'm stoked.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
It's crazy to even think that you can get out
of it too, you know, Like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
It's like the first month is the hardest month, you know, yeah,
or like the first couple of months is the hardest.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I didn't even realize, you know, when I got even
Like I remember, like right before I got sober, I
didn't that was never anything in my head. I remember
I had a few friends that were sober, and I
was just like, I don't get it, Like what do
you mean you know, what do you mean you're sober?
Mm hmmm, why you know, Like I couldn't figure out
what it was or why they were.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah, they just there's a lifestyle out there that you
know that you you don't have to be sober, you know, Yeah,
but you can also just have self worth and fucking
be a Daryl. And I guess that's fun to people.
It was fun for me.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah, it's fun until it's not.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yeah, it's fun until you're thirty six living in a
U haul.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
You know, so I like exactly, I thought it was
like gonna be cool, like go to the like club
and get a bottle and the table. You know.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Yeah, like it was cool.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
You know, I'm not, don't get me wrong, but yeah,
if you I took it too far, so right, as
long as you don't take it too far and you're
you stay in that control zone, you're good. But some
meaning I.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Can't do that exactly, And like that's the thing is,
like there's a different like some people can. Some people
can function and like have fun and drink and do drugs.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Occasionally I'll be fucking picking my boggers and wiping them
on the wall and.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Ship and that, and I'll still do that sober. Yeah,
it was way worse than I was drinking.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
Yeah, very sure, dude.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I would in my bed and sleeping it.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Yeah, I wouldn't wake up until like one pm.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
And you think me too. And I would like would
think it was cool.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
I'd be like I'd get these cycles, Yeah, get these cycles.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Like maybe I was good, like.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Doing it cool for a couple of weeks, going to
bed at ten, but then I just get fucking stuck
in this yeah, fucking I was like a fucking night owl. Yeah,
and I'd just be up all night at the bars,
and then after the bar you go to your friend's
house get the bag. But anyways, yeah, you know, we've
all been there. But it's good to be sober. I'm
stoked and you're so freaking funny. I'm stoked you came
(46:22):
on the podcast. Let me know when the next stand
up show is and I'll come and fucking are.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
You in town Sunday or you don't if you want
to come up Sunday.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Sunday, I'll be in Newport at my old sponsor's birthday.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Nice?
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Yeah, nice.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
I'm also I'm gonna be in San Diego June twenty ninth.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Cool, Well, hit up, hit up, Hannah, I will Yeah,
I don't know you're coming through. She'll she'll love to
hang out. Yeah, hell yeah for sure. Hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Well you guys, that's a freaking rap. Gabby. What's your
TikTok name?
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Social media handles? Gabby Lammy g A B b Y
l A M B Y check her out Instagram.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Yeah, check her out? So funny. I'm glad you came today.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Thanks for having me. Yeah, that flew By.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
That was awesome.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Yeah, podcasts are awesome. I make the podcast good. You know,
we know it's not boring boring?
Speaker 3 (47:19):
Can just fucking.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Dam it was fast? How long was that nice?
Speaker 3 (47:25):
You got a hard out?
Speaker 4 (47:27):
Hell?
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Yeah? Thank you to all the sponsors on this pod,
and we'll check you guys later, don't forget. Click up
here to subscribe and click over here to watch more videos,
and the link is in the description below to check
out Gabby's funny ass tiktoks and her instagram and stuff.
So yeah, hope you enjoyed.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
See ya.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Jerkmate dot com.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
You never have to jerk off alone again.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
That was the awesome Gabby Lamb stand up comic and
absolute pop babe.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
You can check her out.
Speaker 4 (47:56):
On Instagram for general awesomeness and show dates at Gabby Lamby.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
That's with a why at the end.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
I'm pretty sure I'm reading that correctly.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
Anyway, I have been your humble narrator, a guy that
I think you hate, and this has been the shittiest
poop podcast with poopies. Make sure you come back next
week for more poopiness, for more stories of pooping and sobriety.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
Are we going? How long are we going to keep
doing this shit?
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
The Shittiest Podcast is produced by the World's Worst people,
Tyler Nielsen, Ryan Tillotson, Frank Driscoll and narrated by Me
the Narrator. Special thanks to the straw Hut team.
Straw hot media people you know like Canda Sell, Ronda Santis.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
I don't know any of those people. You don't need
to know that I know Ben Shapiro.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Yeah, it's all in that vein. It just gets everybody
fucking riled up.
Speaker 3 (00:17):
Yeah, you got a good following on TikTok.
Speaker 1 (00:20):
Thanks, welcome back to the show.
Speaker 4 (00:23):
I've got my Romney politician look going on today instead
of mister Rogers, but that doesn't matter. Today we have
a great episode with Gabby Lamb, the greatest, hottest scratch
that comedian that even has her own personal booger wall.
Poopies and Gabby connect over their experiences of being misunderstood
geniuses that.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Suck at map.
Speaker 4 (00:41):
Poopies relives his villain origin story of public shits, and
of course, how could we not mention funeral poops?
Speaker 2 (00:49):
What's a home.
Speaker 3 (00:51):
That's some kind of cast rollers?
Speaker 1 (00:54):
Put your hands together.
Speaker 2 (00:59):
It's hard though when you get in some of those crowds,
you know, they're like, you're like fucking laugh already.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
The shittiest podcast in the world.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
It was so funny the other day you're talking about
like be like who wants to date like myself? Or
who wants even like you're talking about yourself. It was
so funny. It was like I don't want to tell
the people about the real me, you know. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:26):
It was pretty classic.
Speaker 1 (01:28):
Yeah, the whole thing of like, you know when people
are like, just be yourself if you want to attract somebody,
and I'm like, I don't want somebody to be attracted
to who I really am. Yeah, fucking grow up.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
It's awesome.
Speaker 3 (01:40):
Like I used to pick my boogers and wipe them
on the wall.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I had to. I have a fucking booger wall. I
have a booger wall right.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Next to my bed.
Speaker 1 (01:50):
Dude, I have a booger wall right next to my
fucking bed. And the other day I was like, I
can't do this anymore, and I had to paint over it.
But you can still see. I can't even scrape it.
I just painted over and I could still see, like
the lumpy but they're still there.
Speaker 3 (02:02):
Yeah, yeah, a little texture.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
To it. I can't wip.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
I get so lazy sometimes, Yeah, get.
Speaker 3 (02:12):
Forrill so much easier just to wipe it for real,
and they.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Stick to and then they draw it's so hard getting.
Speaker 3 (02:20):
Oh yeah, they turned into like concrete.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
They really do.
Speaker 1 (02:23):
And then and if you scrape them off, they pull
off the like pain. Yeah, why what is going on
in our fucking snotny?
Speaker 2 (02:34):
That's awesome, that's funny.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
I love grocery.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
But you're from ocean Side? Yeah, sick.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
You're from carls.
Speaker 3 (02:39):
Yeah, Carlsbad ocean Side.
Speaker 2 (02:41):
Yeah. I was like, went to high school in Carlsbad
and then moved to Hawaii and then moved to South
Ocean Side.
Speaker 1 (02:46):
That is so fucking classic, like North County. Yeah, I
feel like everybody I grew up with did that exact move.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
For sure.
Speaker 1 (02:54):
Everybody goes to Hawaii and then comes back. Yeah. Yeah,
it's so funny.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Hell do you thirty six?
Speaker 1 (03:00):
Okay, so we're like in the same I'm thirty one.
So we grew up in like the same Yeah, we
know the same people.
Speaker 2 (03:05):
I'm sure we do. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (03:06):
So I grew up with like the state beach kids
by offshore surf shop.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
I was one of those dere liks. Yeah, okay, just
fucking getting in trouble all the time. Yeah, fighting, yep.
Speaker 1 (03:16):
Drinking, Yeah, you start every I feel like everybody like
in the area that we grew up and started drinking
at like thirteen, for sure started getting sucked up.
Speaker 2 (03:24):
So yeah, like I started smoking we when I was thirteen,
and then like going to parties and shit when I
was probably like sixteen, and then yeah, then started drinking heavily. Yep.
Speaker 1 (03:36):
Yeah, it's fucking lawless.
Speaker 2 (03:38):
And I was like, I'm going to Hawaii to fucking
get sober, and then it was just the whole other party.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Go. Yeah, isn't there so much meth in Hawaii?
Speaker 2 (03:46):
Yeah? Luckily I never touched it over there.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Yeah yeah, no, it was too.
Speaker 3 (03:50):
Yeah, there's huge homeless camps.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Really.
Speaker 2 (03:52):
Yeah, it's sad.
Speaker 1 (03:54):
I guess, not a nicer place to be homeless though.
Speaker 2 (03:57):
Yeah that's true. It's yeah, that's very true. But yeah,
so it's like an epidemic over there really yeah sucks.
Speaker 1 (04:04):
What is why? Like what is the.
Speaker 2 (04:06):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (04:06):
I think they just get a taste of it and
then they get addicted, you know.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Yeah, and then they see all the other like locals
or their friends you know, doing it. So they probably
just get sucked in, you know, yeah, damn. Probably not
their their fault. It is just like that drug sell.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Yeah right, and it's just that like Little Island mentality too.
Speaker 2 (04:24):
Yeah, you're like stuck on this rock, you know. Yeah,
so how's.
Speaker 3 (04:28):
This air pump? The thing's old school?
Speaker 2 (04:32):
What is this?
Speaker 1 (04:33):
It's a motorcycle shop.
Speaker 3 (04:34):
Yeah, it's a motorcycle shop.
Speaker 1 (04:36):
Do you guys usually recording here?
Speaker 3 (04:37):
No, we're usually next door.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
But I think like it's being it was booked out
and it's such a like like early notice, re late notice,
because I was like, fuck, I hope. She replies to
my email, Yeah, so I did. Do you not check
your emails?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
I did, and I responded and I it wasn't letting
me like confirm. Oh really yeah, And I kept trying
to and it kept being like opening, it kept opening
up like my YouTube to like confirm, and then it
wouldn't confirm, And so I emailed whoever emailed me, and
I was like, hey, I'm just saying like I can't
confirm through this app. So I'm confirming that nobody will
me back. And I was like, I'm just gonna hope
(05:12):
we all really, Yeah, I'm glad that you reached out.
It was like I was gonna head over here. Anyway.
Speaker 2 (05:18):
We were in bed last night and she's like, oh,
Gabby's coming. I was like, okay, well it's eleven o'clock
at night, like I don't think Ryan's awake, my producer. Yeah,
and I was like, okay, well let's try to figure
out in the morning. So I'm glad we got together
and made this happen. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (05:34):
Yeah, because yeah.
Speaker 3 (05:35):
I was like, when did you move out of Oceanside?
Speaker 1 (05:37):
She done? Dude, Oh, good job as soon as I
graduated high school.
Speaker 2 (05:40):
Good job you graduated. Yeah I did. I don't know.
Speaker 1 (05:43):
I don't know how I really. I had a one
point four or five GPA when I graduated, but I
was taking a bunch of like art classes at Mira
Coasta College, so it like counted toward credit. Yeah, so
I had enough credits to graduate.
Speaker 2 (05:57):
Fuck. I always wanted to go to college. But then
I was like, so, like, just like Many Coast is not,
like that's not a college. Yeah, it's like a community college.
So I thought I was like too good for community college.
Speaker 1 (06:10):
Yeah, me too.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
So I was like, fuck college, I'm dropping out of
high school. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:16):
Yeah for me, I was like n y U or nothing,
but like I was not smart enough, Like I didn't
have the grades to get into a school like that.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Yeah. I know. We're just like living a dream that
we can know, like is that. I don't know, It's
just I think it's our ego.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
For fucking sure. I literally I always had these dreams
of being like, I'm going to go to an ivy
League college. I want. I wanted to go to Yale
so bad, but there's absolutely no fucking way in hell.
Like I didn't my grades, like since middle school were
just kind of like ds and cs. But in my head,
I was like, I'll get to Yale.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Yeah, yeah, you get there.
Speaker 2 (06:48):
And then yeah, of course, as you know, as long
as you went to community college or like I would
say nowadays, that's a real college. Yeah, I would even
call that community college because I went to continuation school
and I got kicked out of continuation school.
Speaker 3 (07:02):
Nice because I did a.
Speaker 2 (07:03):
Beer run and then this fucking snitch ass freaking soccer
mom saw me taking the beer from the trunk or
from the back seat into the trunk. And then yeah
at freaking Carlsbad Village, acab life, I know, and then
the officers come into my classroom, we need to talk
to you, and I was like, get fucked, like fuck off.
(07:24):
I was probably like a senior in high school, so
I don't know, like seventeen eighteen. When did you drop
out sophomore year?
Speaker 1 (07:32):
Oh and then you went to a continuation school.
Speaker 2 (07:34):
Yeah, like sophomore year, I dropped out. So I had
to move back to Missouri with my mom, and.
Speaker 3 (07:38):
She was a GD teacher.
Speaker 2 (07:40):
Okay, so like my dad's like, yeah, you're gonna go home,
go back to Missouri with your mom and get your GED. Fuck.
It took me like four times to pass the test. Yeah,
and i'd even end up like passing the test there.
I had to fly back to here and take the
test here. And I still don't even have the certificate
because I went to fucking Mary Coast to Callege to
do the GED. It's like a little GD room. Yeah,
(08:01):
and I never got the certificate or anything. So I
don't even fucking know if I haven't.
Speaker 1 (08:04):
You did you do? I guess you didn't because you
didn't graduate the fucking but you you you're from here?
Oh sorry, she's not on the podcast.
Speaker 3 (08:12):
No, she can't know.
Speaker 2 (08:13):
If you want to.
Speaker 1 (08:14):
His girlfriend's here. But we had to take up the
fucking high school exit exam.
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Oh fuck.
Speaker 3 (08:20):
I filled in the bubbles as fast as I.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I cheated, because there was no way I was gonna pass.
Speaker 2 (08:26):
I was like, got a cheat, I cheated.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
I remember going to the bathroom and exchanging, you know,
like asking the kids like what did you put down
for this? Because I couldn't. I can't do math. Yeah,
I have like a second grade math level. Me too.
It's so bad.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
School, like they made it hard on on the you know,
unfortunate brain sell people.
Speaker 3 (08:49):
Yeah, because like I struggled with math so hard.
Speaker 2 (08:52):
Like I was like, fucking I got the algebra and
I was like, what the fuck is this right? It's
so bad?
Speaker 1 (08:58):
Algebra was so fucking hard.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, and then I finally got like one equation, like
fucking you're supposed to like study it and quiz and test. Fuck.
I finally got past like the first test. I'm like,
fuck this. They want me to do more algebra?
Speaker 1 (09:12):
Yeah, yeah, fuck no.
Speaker 2 (09:14):
I remember I barely.
Speaker 3 (09:15):
Even fucking got past that one.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
It was so hard. Like there's so much memorization too
in math, and I can't. I cannot memorize for shit, piss.
And I remember like getting like getting into third grade
and having to learn like the multiplication tables, and I
just like I remember just memorizing it, but I didn't
understand why you know. Yeah, so I think it was
(09:37):
just this thing of like, Okay, I don't know why,
you know, three times three equals out nine. It was
just like that answer, but why does that make sense?
You know? And just after that, I was like I can't.
I can't do this.
Speaker 2 (09:48):
Yeah I don't get it. Yeah, not fucking get it. No,
school is not for us.
Speaker 1 (09:53):
I remember in in fucking like I think my senior year,
I was put on adderall and I would drink like
a monster and every morning and have an adderall and
go in like my first class was math and I
never got any better. But I was just like so
in it, you know, just but I wasn't good, you know.
Speaker 3 (10:16):
Yeah, yeah, no, for sure.
Speaker 2 (10:19):
I used to take adderall too, and then I was
like became a zombie really yeah, So then I was
like fuck this.
Speaker 3 (10:26):
I gave it to my older brother to sell at school.
Speaker 2 (10:28):
That's so fun. That's like the classic tale. Yeah. It
was like yeah, I up, but yeah, you still take it. No,
that's good.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
No. I got prescribed vivance a couple of months ago,
but I got off of I was off medication for
a long time and then a couple of months ago
I went got tested PRADHD and how.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
Do you get tested?
Speaker 1 (10:50):
Oh my god. I had to go through a huge
fucking process. It was like a five hour test, damn
in a like a neuro she was a neuropsychologist somebody.
Speaker 3 (11:01):
If you don't pass, you have ADHD or something.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
That's exactly it. And she like it was like five
hours and it came back and.
Speaker 2 (11:07):
She was like, whoa, you got more than that?
Speaker 1 (11:11):
Was like you, how have you made.
Speaker 3 (11:13):
It to the psych ward right now?
Speaker 1 (11:16):
Basically it's like how do you function? I was like,
I don't know. I don't I can't retain nothing.
Speaker 3 (11:22):
Do you have your like passions?
Speaker 2 (11:24):
You know? Like that's like for me, it's like surfing,
it's like therapy for me, you have any like passions
like that? Art?
Speaker 1 (11:31):
You know, I've always done art. I've like laid off
of it a bit recently, but that's always been like
my very you know, like it's very meditative.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Yeah, for sure, you get express yourself through the yeah,
piece of paper.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
And pen in your you know, And that's like the
one thing my brain has always been able to like
zero in on is just you know, doing art.
Speaker 2 (11:51):
Yeah, but that's cool. Yeah, that's cool.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
I fucking always wanted to be able to surf. I
was always so bad at it.
Speaker 2 (11:57):
Yeah, I'm really bad at it too. Just you got
to like start young. I didn't start young enough.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
Oh yeah, yeah you do. You gotta be.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I have the wide stance. It looks like I'm fucking
taking a ship when I'm serving, like the wide stance.
Speaker 1 (12:10):
Yea, yeah, goofy looking.
Speaker 2 (12:12):
Yeah are you goofy?
Speaker 1 (12:13):
Fucking are you goofy foot?
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Not regular?
Speaker 1 (12:16):
Nice?
Speaker 2 (12:16):
Yeah I'm not. That's all right. It's dork, dude, that's
all good.
Speaker 1 (12:22):
My brothers would always make fun.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
Of me, and really girl with brothers.
Speaker 1 (12:25):
I have two old brothers who are from Carlsbad. We
different moms, Okay, so they their mom lived in Carlsbad,
So they went to Carlsbad.
Speaker 2 (12:33):
High and blah blah blah. Okay, when I was fucking
I was.
Speaker 3 (12:36):
They made you probably super tough though, huh.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Yeah, yeah we were. There was quite an age different,
like my oldest one is ten years older than me
and the other one is five years okay, And like
my house growing and it was two stories. My brothers
lived like downstairs and like the come den, you know,
like that. There was like their weird little things.
Speaker 3 (12:55):
Sure couch was.
Speaker 1 (12:57):
The fucking jiz couch. And I remember trying to sneak
down then when I was little in the always watching
Beavis and Butthead, and I was like, what going on?
Speaker 2 (13:04):
What you know? You can't watch this?
Speaker 1 (13:07):
Yeah? Always they don't.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
They get out of you, faggot.
Speaker 1 (13:12):
They always my brothers and so because I I do
stand up, and I don't know how to like make
a joke out of this, but like I remember growing up,
my brothers would always just be like, get out of
your little homo, And I'm like, I'm seven, Like what
do you?
Speaker 3 (13:23):
Yeah, like literally know what that means?
Speaker 2 (13:26):
Yeah? You fucking ho? What's home?
Speaker 1 (13:32):
What does that mean?
Speaker 2 (13:33):
That's some kind of cast roll or something? Yeah? Yeah,
yeah that's awesome. You do stand up?
Speaker 1 (13:38):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:39):
Sick in l a Yeah, sick I to come watch
the stand up?
Speaker 1 (13:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (13:43):
I enjoy doing stand up?
Speaker 1 (13:45):
Do you do it?
Speaker 3 (13:46):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (13:48):
I like it?
Speaker 3 (13:49):
But the fucking lights are riding my eyes and I
can't see ship.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
It's fun, it's a it's a hard, it's an intense career.
Speaker 2 (13:56):
Yeah, I suck at it, Like I'll go up there
and just like I'm just get so nervous and like
so like, I don't know, it's just like how.
Speaker 1 (14:04):
Many times have you done it? Do you like actively
do it.
Speaker 3 (14:06):
Or dude, I've done it. Like the first time I
did it was with Steve oh really Midwest.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
At a sold out show he had he brought you on.
Uh huh I opened your first time?
Speaker 3 (14:17):
Yeah, and my first my fucking it was fucked up?
Speaker 1 (14:21):
Did you bomb? Oh?
Speaker 3 (14:22):
Yeah?
Speaker 2 (14:23):
I killed it. But it was just like I had
it kind of planned out. I've made it like that
day I had helped from Preston.
Speaker 1 (14:29):
No you didn't really you, but you wrote your ship.
Speaker 2 (14:31):
Out that I kind of just wrote it in my head,
you know. And like the first thing I said is
hi everyone, I'm here to suck some cocks. So I
hope you brought your lip bomb And everyone just started laughing, especially.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
For like a Steve O audience. That fucking yeah, they
loved it, love it.
Speaker 2 (14:49):
Yeah, it was pretty cool. But it's hard though when
you get in some of those crowds, you know, like
you're like fucking laugh already.
Speaker 1 (14:56):
It's horrible.
Speaker 2 (14:57):
You're like they're like waiting, just.
Speaker 3 (14:59):
Like oh yeah, this shit's not funny. You're like, okay,
fuck off, get fucked.
Speaker 1 (15:02):
Yeah, it's horrible. It's a lot of that.
Speaker 2 (15:05):
It's a lot, a.
Speaker 3 (15:06):
Lot of humiliation sometimes.
Speaker 1 (15:08):
It's so it's a very humbling experience, and you also
you get fucking pissed because you're like, why do you laugh? Like?
Speaker 2 (15:16):
I know this is funny?
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Fucko, why are you here?
Speaker 3 (15:20):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (15:20):
For real, it's yeah, it's a very humbling career.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah it is. It's it's a tough crowd.
Speaker 1 (15:26):
It is. You can feel the full spectrum of emotion.
Speaker 2 (15:28):
You're probably good at it, though, you know you don't
give a fuck. I don't.
Speaker 1 (15:34):
I don't know if I'm like a great joke writer
I have presence, I don't. I've never been like a
really good like joke writer though.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
So okay, well yeah I don't think you really need
to be I think you just be yourself. You've got it.
It's true for sure.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Yeah, it's definitely for me. It's like more personality driven.
Speaker 4 (15:53):
Now that Gavy confirmed it's possible to graduate with at
one point four GPA, what an idiot? And Poopy tells
tough comedy crowd to laugh or go home. We're gonna
take a quick break when we're back. Poopies and Gabby
connect over mutual masturbation kind of welcome back to the show.
(16:16):
Now that you made it this far, you get to
join comedian Gabby Lamb and Poopies as they talk about
things like pocket pussies and vintage porn that's right, and
Poopy's origin story of how he got his name.
Speaker 1 (16:30):
And then also like the ship that I talk about.
It's very polarizing because it's like, I'm dirty and people
are either very into that or they're just like, we can't.
Why would you talk about this? Why would a woman
talk about, you know, being a horny kid, And it's like,
because that's what kids are horny.
Speaker 2 (16:48):
I don't know for sure. Definitely I was really horny
when I was a kid, and I never I never
got laid.
Speaker 1 (16:55):
Yeah, it'd be weird if you did, I guess.
Speaker 2 (16:57):
Yeah. So like this one time, I've found my brother's
pocket pussy.
Speaker 1 (17:01):
Your brother had a pocket pussy.
Speaker 2 (17:02):
Yeah, he was like a senior in high school or
maybe maybe a little older. I was like probably like
a freshman, okay, or sophomore. Okay, maybe I think I
was a junior.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Actually, Oh so you guys are super close in age.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Yeah, two years apart.
Speaker 1 (17:19):
Okay, m hm, you found.
Speaker 2 (17:21):
I was like, what's this? And I kind of like
it looked like bussy and I was like, WHOA, what
the fuck to do with this thing?
Speaker 3 (17:26):
And I smelled it. I smelt it, and I was
like ew.
Speaker 2 (17:33):
And I didn't use it. I fucking put it away.
Speaker 3 (17:37):
But I had I had dirt on him, you know,
I could have.
Speaker 2 (17:39):
I could have busted out anytime, like you got a
pocket pussy, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
That's how like fucking family is though, you know.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
So funny.
Speaker 2 (17:46):
Yeah, it's so funny.
Speaker 1 (17:48):
Did you tell him that you found it?
Speaker 2 (17:50):
Yeah? Oh yeah, because he was trying to act all
cool all the time in front of my friends and
like punk me. So this one time I was like,
oh yeah, you want to punk me? And I came
out with this pucket pussy and I threw it at
him and then he beat my ass.
Speaker 1 (18:08):
And all this fucking cum flies out when you throw
it out.
Speaker 2 (18:10):
My god. Yeah, it was kind of wet, it was,
I thinking, but it.
Speaker 1 (18:15):
Was like freshly used. Yeah, that's so. It's such a
funny story.
Speaker 2 (18:20):
Yeah, it was fucked up.
Speaker 1 (18:23):
I wish that was my story because that's such a
fucking funny story to tell.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
Yeah, these there's so many new toys now these days,
you know.
Speaker 2 (18:31):
Yeah you can't. You know, there's like an AI fucking
chick or dude. I don't know if they made the
dude yet or not, but like the like it's the
robots and there's just a half body or something. I
think it's just like no, no bottom legs and like
no no head. It's just like this.
Speaker 1 (18:49):
Part it's an ass and pussy.
Speaker 2 (18:51):
Yeah, it's so weird.
Speaker 1 (18:53):
Yeah, I know. You go into sex shops and you
see like the fuckable torsos and I'm.
Speaker 3 (18:58):
Like, who oh, yeah, yeah so heavy.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
I want to do a prank with one of those
or something absolutely, just like throw it out of a
port and like fucking pull up my pants back? What
are you looking at?
Speaker 1 (19:09):
That's so funny. That's so fucking funny. That's dude. There's
the ship that I see it, Like this ship that's
insect shops blows my mind and like not even in
a I guess it's kind of judgmental, but I'm just like,
who's buying who's buying this fuckable ass? You know they
always have like a puckered anus for.
Speaker 2 (19:27):
Sure, some nerdy asque kid that gets no push for sure.
Weird ass old dude, that's fucking wish he could get
a tender date or something. It's so wild. Yeah, yeah,
it's so funny. I want to, like, I don't want
to put a person on blast, but I think it'd
be funny if you just waited for someone to come
(19:47):
out of a sex shop with one of those and like.
Speaker 3 (19:50):
Get an interview with them.
Speaker 1 (19:51):
What are you using this for?
Speaker 3 (19:52):
Yeah, fucking what inspired you to get this?
Speaker 2 (19:56):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (19:56):
Yeah, exactly what? Who is who is the mark get
for these things?
Speaker 2 (20:01):
Yeah? Yeah? Does it vibrate?
Speaker 1 (20:04):
And like, what does the rest of that person's house
look like?
Speaker 3 (20:08):
Go to jerk mat dot com and fucking.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Jerkmate dot com. Dude, I always see the ads for it.
Speaker 3 (20:13):
Yeah, they sponsor this podcast.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Do they really?
Speaker 2 (20:17):
Do they really poopies you can fucking dot com? Yeah,
fucking that's so they really sponsor it. Yeah, promo code poopies.
You get the live cam. You know, there's interact with
like models from all over the world.
Speaker 4 (20:33):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (20:34):
Yeah, cam to cam interaction and there's a button you
can click to fucking turn their vibrator on.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
Nice.
Speaker 2 (20:40):
Yeah, so cool, sick. So for all those guys out
there that want to get some models.
Speaker 3 (20:47):
Fucking fantasies come true.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Go to jerk maate dot com.
Speaker 1 (20:51):
But yeah, yeah, because the ads always look like snapchat, right, yeah,
it's like a snapchating.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Like girls bouncing around.
Speaker 3 (20:59):
Yeah, yeah, they're always bouncing around.
Speaker 1 (21:01):
They love bouncing around. I don't think I've ever bounced
around in my entire life.
Speaker 2 (21:05):
That's good. Remember that one show that had the chicks
on the trampolines, it was fucking Girls Going the Man Chow?
Speaker 1 (21:13):
No, what was the man show?
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Girls Going Wild? As fucked.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
I never watched Girls Going Wild.
Speaker 2 (21:20):
I did. I was like, what, this is awesome?
Speaker 1 (21:23):
I was too young, and also no, that wasn't Yeah, like.
Speaker 3 (21:29):
I just saw the commercials for it, but never like
got it.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (21:33):
I always dreamed of getting it, but I was like
too broke, so I could never do it.
Speaker 2 (21:38):
But the commercials were cool.
Speaker 1 (21:40):
They always had what are the drums? The steel drums?
Speaker 2 (21:42):
Yeah. I only saw all the blurred ship you know.
And then I think maybe one time my friend had
it at his house and I was like, let's watch it,
like I've fucking never seen it.
Speaker 1 (21:52):
See this is such a guy thing like that get
around and they're like let's all watch a Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:59):
I would ever.
Speaker 1 (22:00):
I would never go to my girlfriend's house. You know.
My friends would be like, hey, you.
Speaker 2 (22:03):
Guys want to let's jack off together.
Speaker 1 (22:06):
You guys want to watch hot Milk Bank step Son together?
Like yeah, guys do that.
Speaker 2 (22:11):
Yeah. Yeah. When I was little, I fucking me and
my friends would take turns in my one friend's room.
Speaker 3 (22:17):
He had this va he had his VHS porn, this
one porn.
Speaker 2 (22:21):
You guys would all, yeah, we one at a time,
you know, the living room. One would be in the room,
and I remember it was my turn, and I was
the last one to go because I didn't have any
freaking any respect, you know, I was in I was
the last one to go in. And my friend's mom
(22:41):
comes home and the porno's on loud and she knocks
on the door. What's going on in there? And I'm like, fuck, dude,
she like totally blew it for me, and all my
friends were laughing, hysterical. Your friends are already they already,
they already juiced out. Yeah, So I was like, fuck,
I didn't even get to freaking experience.
Speaker 1 (23:01):
What was the fun? What were the fucking conversations? Like Okay,
so like somebody finished it, and then a guy would
come out and be like your turn, bro, Like.
Speaker 2 (23:08):
Yeah, it's like yeah, it was kind of like kind
of weird. We're young, you know, so it was our
first experiences with masturbating and talking about it. Were you
like that, No, we didn't talk about it. We were
just done, and then we don't. We don't say anything,
you know what I mean. We were kind of embarrassed.
That's so funny.
Speaker 3 (23:26):
Yeah, we're kind of embarrassed.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
But I remember this one scene there was a check
there was a checkered floor and this chick was getting
banged on the motorcycle. Yeah nice, and yeah that's really and.
Speaker 3 (23:36):
Then you got to fast forward it because it was
old school VHS.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, but yeah, I was.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
The last one to go, and my friend's mom came
home and she's like, what's going on in there? Knock
trying to get in the door. I'm like fucking turning
everything off, zipping up my pants, like, oh, nothing's going on,
you know, just in my friend's room, fucking by myself
with some fucking porno going on. What was traumatized, traumatizing,
And I never wanted to see her again, you know,
(24:02):
because she knew like what I was probably knew what
I was doing in there, of course.
Speaker 3 (24:06):
So like, yeah, I never wanted to go to Charlie's
house ever.
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Again, not Charlie's house. Yeah, Charlie's house was like the
house we always went to to get into charity house.
Speaker 3 (24:18):
Yeah. Then my house turned into the party house.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah. Yeah, and every broke, a window got broken, Like
every weekend, my friends would get drunk, start talking ship
and my friends would fight each other. Yeah, that was
like the Carlsbad Ocean side things you do.
Speaker 1 (24:32):
Yeah, the guys all fight for no reason. What is
anybody even fighting about?
Speaker 2 (24:36):
Yeah?
Speaker 3 (24:36):
So retarded, so retarded?
Speaker 1 (24:38):
What even our fifteen year old like, what do you
have to be angry at?
Speaker 2 (24:42):
Like just yeah, probably like childhood drama or something.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Childhood drama. I can't even imagine. I don't even remember
what it was back then. Yeah, what do you even
fucking fight over?
Speaker 2 (24:52):
Just like if someone even said the littlest thing, you know, yeah,
like oh your mom's hot or something.
Speaker 1 (24:59):
That's exactly what did you say?
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Yeah, what you say about my mom?
Speaker 1 (25:04):
Mom?
Speaker 2 (25:04):
Yeah? Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, I Like it was always
weird for me going to parties because like my name
was poopies.
Speaker 3 (25:11):
And I never got yeah, since I was like fourteen it.
Speaker 1 (25:15):
Shuck, Wait, how'd you get poopies?
Speaker 2 (25:17):
Well, I was at Charlie's house one day. Arlie's Yeah. Yeah.
It always started out Charlie and my friend Ricky was
such an instigator, you know, he like loved instigating the
ship on you know. Oh was he was?
Speaker 1 (25:30):
He the alpha?
Speaker 3 (25:31):
Yeah, he was like the leader of the past.
Speaker 2 (25:33):
He was the alpha. Yeah.
Speaker 3 (25:35):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (25:35):
And then like we were watching Jackass one night and
I was like, fuck yo, I'm gonna do something stupid tomorrow.
So like we had a sleepover at Charlie's and then
the waves were flat, so we didn't serve that morning,
and we were really bored. So my friend's like, you said,
you're gonna do something stupid tomorrow. So like, fucking I
didn't really know what to do. I had to take
a poop at the time, so my friend's like, fucking
(25:58):
don't poop in the toilet, goes ship in the innerset.
So I like went into the intersection and shipped in
the intersection of the Acacia and Garfield right there next
to Deani's. Wow. Yeah, that's where it all happened.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
And that's how you became poopies.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Yeah. And then the next week at school, my friends
were like, yeah, he ship in the street, and no
one likes. No one thought it was cool. And then
the rumor no one thought it was cool, so the
rumor's wrong with you. The rumor started that I fucking
shipped my pants, and then all the bullies at the
school and all the fucking cool kids were like, yeah,
ship his pants, And then that's when it all started.
(26:35):
I hated high school. That's when I dropped out.
Speaker 1 (26:36):
Dude, come on, but shooting in the fucking street is
way cool.
Speaker 2 (26:41):
Yeah. It was like for us, but for other people
that are like they stretch kids from Carlsbad that fucking
get spoiled by their parents. You don't know about the
street life.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
They don't that ship.
Speaker 2 (26:51):
It's like gross to them. Yeah, can you do it?
Speaker 1 (26:55):
Yeah, that's a crazy thing to do.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
For real.
Speaker 3 (26:58):
Have you ever done a public poop?
Speaker 2 (27:00):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (27:00):
Oh yeah a lot. I ship a lot in the
in public. I remember one time. At first, it was
not because I wanted to, and then it started to
becoming Then I was just all, I'm just gonna.
Speaker 2 (27:13):
Ship, yeah real quick, Papa squat.
Speaker 1 (27:15):
When I was little. You know what, when I was little,
little little, I would go, now, I do do it
now something when I have to. There's so you know,
my head is like flooding now with all right. I started.
It started for me when I was little, like going
to my backyard at home and I'd be like, I'm
(27:35):
not using the toilet today. I'm I'm gonna ship in
the art and I would do it on purpose and
my dogs. I would watch my dogs then go and
eat it.
Speaker 3 (27:46):
Shut the fuck.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Uh.
Speaker 3 (27:48):
Yeah, there's probably like leftover like corn and ship in there,
you know, like.
Speaker 1 (27:51):
Oh, they loved it. They would snack on it. Yeah,
three dogs and it was just like it was like
vultures to a carcass, you know, and they would just
like go and get the ship.
Speaker 3 (28:02):
That's kind of entertaining.
Speaker 1 (28:03):
Yeah, I was entertaining, you know.
Speaker 2 (28:04):
I didn't don't.
Speaker 1 (28:06):
I don't know where my friends were. I don't know
what I was doing, just shit in my backyard by
myself and watching my dogs eat it started then, thank you.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
I like that.
Speaker 1 (28:14):
And then I remember the time where like, you know,
then I like kind of started growing up and I
was like I can't you know, I can't be shitting
in public anymore. And then I was like fifteen years
old and I went on a date with a guy
and we were like making out in his truck and
I was just like, I got it, I'm gonna shit
and I was like just one second and I got
(28:34):
out to and there was nowhere to go. There was
nowhere to go, so I like went. We were like
parked on the side of a hill and I was like,
I'm gonna go. Me and I when I ship in
the bushes, no, and I was wearing I remember I
was wearing a pad and I was just like, I
guess I'll just wipe with my pag because I was
on my period. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I left the pad
(28:55):
and the bushes.
Speaker 3 (28:57):
Ship your dogs, get out and find.
Speaker 1 (29:01):
My dogs were there. And you know, There's been a
lot of instances since then, but I think the last
real big one was I was at a funeral and
it was the funeral was at at my It was
an ex boyfriend of mine who died, and the funeral
was at his house. It's a really small house and
I had to shit and I was like, I cannot
(29:23):
do this at this house. It's filled with people.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
Yeah, you're going to blow up the bathroom.
Speaker 1 (29:29):
I can't do it. Yeah, So I remember I like
held it and I left the funeral. And he lived
in Pasadena, and I went, I drove a couple of
doors down and then I went and shipped in a
neighbor's yard and I had socks in the back of
my car, and I was like, yeah, yes, I'll leave
the song and that i'd like, you know, wadded up
the socks and left them in there, and that was
(29:50):
the last time.
Speaker 2 (29:51):
Hell yeah, I think that was a last It takes
a lot of courage should talk about the poop stores,
you know, because a lot of girls won't even say
they poop.
Speaker 1 (29:58):
They won't. And I don't know what happened to me
that made me be so vocal about it. Maybe my
brothers growing.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
Up with brothers.
Speaker 3 (30:06):
No, there's not Yeah, you just don't give a fuck.
Speaker 1 (30:08):
There was never a shame around it. For me.
Speaker 2 (30:10):
It's awesome.
Speaker 1 (30:11):
I remember my mom when I was little, we had
we drove to Utah together from like went on a
little fucking road trip or whatever Utah, and she said
I was like five or six, and she said the
only thing I said to her the entire drive was poop,
like she'd asked me a question, I go poop. She
was like, it was horrible, Like I just wanted to
have a conversation and all you would say was poop.
Speaker 2 (30:34):
Yeah, you go through those phases, Yeah, those phases in life.
You start young, like, fuck, why am I in a
road troop with my mom? I want to be with
my friends.
Speaker 1 (30:42):
I want to be shitting in the yard with my Yeah,
you know.
Speaker 2 (30:45):
That's so funny. Well, thanks for sharing those stories with.
Speaker 1 (30:48):
You're so welcome. I love talk. I love talking about it.
Speaker 2 (30:51):
Fuck.
Speaker 3 (30:51):
Yeah, well you got to talk about it sometimes, you know.
Speaker 1 (30:54):
You gotta. But it's you know, it's a title pressures.
They say you can't talk about disgusting things.
Speaker 2 (30:59):
No, I mean it's good to talk about things because
it gets it off your chest. It puts it in
the universe, you know, and it's funny.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
Not everybody people are like, that's really a matun. I'm like,
I guess I'm immature then, because this.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
Is what I love. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (31:12):
I love watching I love hearing shit stories. I love
watching people do disgusting things. That's why I always fucking
loved Jackass and like those I loved it.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
You know, that's awesome things.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
This is my favorite. Like growing up, I was like that,
like that was like the funniest ship for sure, still
is still the funniest shit.
Speaker 2 (31:30):
It was like a fucking like it was definitely a
trend like when in our era of fucking high school
and ship. Hell yeah, like there's just kids trying to
do dumb ship just because they fucking seen it on
fucking Jackass Ship. You know.
Speaker 1 (31:45):
I remember that, like it was such an era of
our generation too. And I remember like in my middle
school when you know, when Jackass was like fucking you know,
popping because you know in our MTV Friday Night, right,
and kids were always doing you know, like prank ship
at schools. And I remember this like group of guys
brought a bunch of like Penthouse magazines to school and
(32:07):
then like ripped, ripped all the pages out and like
threw them all over the school, like taping them on
the walls, and you know you'd see all like the
teachers running around trying to get you thought it was
so funny.
Speaker 2 (32:17):
Yeah, it was like the teachers were so the school
was so against all that stuff.
Speaker 1 (32:22):
I bet schools were so fucked up back then when
Jackass came out.
Speaker 2 (32:26):
Oh they're probably fucking pissed, tissed, They're like, what the
fuck's going on?
Speaker 1 (32:31):
Kids? Just running fucking ram yea, I love it.
Speaker 2 (32:33):
Yeah that's all. I just ran ramping my whole life
and yeah then yeah, then I ended up fucking homeless,
and you.
Speaker 1 (32:46):
Know that's how, that's the natural. Did you actually end
up homeless?
Speaker 2 (32:52):
Yeah? Well I nice, Yeah it was. It was fun
for a while, but then it sucked.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
I bet it did.
Speaker 3 (32:59):
I was taking shit's all over the public.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Oh fuck, yeah you were, of course you were. Yeah,
you're living in a so you were you like renting
extra consistently.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
Uh huh twenty bucks a day, twenty bucks a day? Yeah,
so I had Eventually I rented it for like a
month and a half or so.
Speaker 3 (33:14):
I eventually had to pay him like two thousand dollars.
Speaker 2 (33:18):
Fuck, yeah it got. I racked it up pretty pretty
up for a fucking you haul. Huh. Yeah, well it's
either that or like live at the campsite or some shit.
Speaker 1 (33:27):
Now you's better.
Speaker 4 (33:29):
Now we know that little Gabby liked to shit outdoors
and watch her dogs eat it.
Speaker 1 (33:32):
And what happens to socks left in her car? It's
time to take a short break. We earned it.
Speaker 4 (33:37):
When we're back, we'll talk tour dates for Gabby and
sobriety And how can we talk about sobriety without telling
some drug horror stories.
Speaker 2 (33:44):
We can't, well, Poopies can't.
Speaker 4 (33:54):
Jerk made is great, so are hear? Welcome back to
the Shittiest Podcast Today. He's talking to the one and only,
as you know, Gabby Lamb. Poopies and Gabby talk about
the lows before the highs, or them highs before the loads,
or them highs before the highs, all the highs. Anyway,
being sober is hard, and they're both They've got some tips.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I was having too much fun and then yeah, I
just got a lot too much fun and then things
got really bad. Yeah yeah, so I had to fucking
go to rehab and ship. Yeah uh huh okay, but
it was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Speaker 1 (34:28):
Yeah, the U haul rehab, rehab, Yeah okay, Yeah.
Speaker 2 (34:32):
The U Haul was the worst thing that ever happened
to me. I'm like waving out my friends, like get
my U haul, Like what the fuck is going on
with Poopies, dude, Like what's happening to him? Like yeah,
I'm fine, guys, I'm fine, but I really wasn't. Yeah yeah, yeah,
but I was a trendsetter like everyone. After everyone saw
me in the U Haul box truck, all the other
(34:53):
fucking homeless crackheads started getting box trucks. Yeah, of course,
I was like, dude, don't fuck this is my idea.
Dude gonna blow for me.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yeah, come on, don't. Yeah, let you have your thing.
Speaker 2 (35:03):
So my one friend he actually rented a box truck too,
but he didn't have money to pay the fucking bill
and they freaking got him for like extortion or some ship.
Speaker 1 (35:13):
They rest him.
Speaker 2 (35:14):
Yeah, he went to jail for.
Speaker 1 (35:15):
Not paying the bill.
Speaker 2 (35:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
How long was he in for?
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Like a month or so? That sucks, Yeah I know. Yeah. Well,
I like I told him, like, we need to return these,
and I returned mine and then went in the rehab
and fucking he never returned his. He's running from U Haul.
They got him. He took the U haul back.
Speaker 3 (35:42):
Yeah, yeah, he's barred from you.
Speaker 2 (35:44):
Sure.
Speaker 3 (35:45):
Yeah yeah, but he's sober now good and yeah.
Speaker 2 (35:48):
So I was really proud of him when I heard
he was sober and got a ship together. So he
bought a car now okay, good.
Speaker 1 (35:54):
He's got a car.
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Yeah, he's got a car.
Speaker 1 (35:56):
Yeah, he's making his payments. Yeah, they too. He still
owes you hal, I think does he really? Yeah?
Speaker 2 (36:03):
I think he's just doing payments with him. I think
they work something out.
Speaker 1 (36:05):
How many How long ago was that?
Speaker 2 (36:07):
This was in December?
Speaker 1 (36:09):
Oh it was recently. I was thinking it was like
years and I.
Speaker 2 (36:11):
Think they took it away from him and I want
to say, like February.
Speaker 1 (36:17):
Okay, yeah, so he's like newly sober too.
Speaker 3 (36:20):
Yeah I heard you're sober.
Speaker 2 (36:22):
I am good.
Speaker 1 (36:23):
I know how long have you been?
Speaker 2 (36:24):
Almost five months?
Speaker 1 (36:26):
Oh you're five months? Oh you're like newly sober?
Speaker 2 (36:28):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:28):
Really nice?
Speaker 2 (36:29):
Yeah are you?
Speaker 1 (36:31):
Are you working in the program?
Speaker 2 (36:32):
Yeah? Nice. It's anonymous though, you know.
Speaker 1 (36:35):
I talked so I forget that, Like that's a thing,
and I'm always like I am yeah yeah.
Speaker 3 (36:41):
I get called out on it a lot.
Speaker 1 (36:42):
Do you really?
Speaker 2 (36:43):
Yeah?
Speaker 1 (36:43):
It's so funny because like I listened to so many
podcasts with people like fucking Russell Brand, who's like the
captain of AA. You know, he's always on about how
ye in the room.
Speaker 2 (36:53):
So yeah, just like one of those things.
Speaker 3 (36:54):
Yeah, it's more of it's like attraction rather than promotion.
Speaker 1 (36:57):
That's true.
Speaker 2 (36:58):
So I haven't called I'm not I don't really promote it.
I just like talk about it because it's helped me
so much, you know. Yeah, So it's not like I'm
promoting it like like that. But yeah, it's more of
an attraction. You like see someone that's gone through it
and they're like, fuck, I want to be like that. Yeah.
So that's the attraction over promotion, right. But it saved
my life. So and I'm still going to my meetings
(37:20):
and I'm working the steps and I'm fucking reading the
Big Book and.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Oh yeah, I love it too.
Speaker 3 (37:28):
How long have you been sober?
Speaker 1 (37:29):
I so my first sobriety day. I haven't drank since January.
I got sober January fourth, twenty twenty.
Speaker 2 (37:37):
Damn, good job.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Thank you. But then over the sum summer, now I
have nine months relapse, not on alcohol. I was doing.
It started with mushrooms because I was like, yeah, I
stepped away from the program and I was just like
I don't need this, you know, I'm fine, like all
just fucking I was in this relationship that like the
(37:59):
guy I was was like doing, he was like really
into psychedelics and stuff, and I was like, I remember,
like there's all the science behind you and like you
know all this stuff now, like microdosing is like the
new antidepressant. So I was like, well, I'll just start microdosing.
You know, fine, that's not alcohol, yeah exactly exactly. So
(38:19):
I was like, anything that's just like not drinking cocaine,
I'll be good. Yeah, but I fucking hate I never
even when I was like getting sucked up, I never
liked mushrooms. I never liked weed. I didn't ever fuck
with them because I don't like feeling.
Speaker 2 (38:33):
I like uppers and I like alcohol same.
Speaker 1 (38:37):
So like psychedelics just never and we just like, yeah, it's.
Speaker 3 (38:40):
Like it's like if you do cocaine, you gotta drink.
Speaker 2 (38:43):
Exactly, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (38:44):
So that was like my bag. So I was like,
you know, I'm just gonna start microdosing. And then I did,
Like I went on like a huge mushroom trip, and
everybody else was like able to like have fun, and
it's always bad for me every time.
Speaker 2 (38:58):
Yeah he took too much.
Speaker 1 (39:00):
I like, it's just something about my brain that like
cannot have. You know, people have really beautiful fucking experiences,
I think a lot.
Speaker 3 (39:08):
Yeah, well it's a lot of like your back history too.
Speaker 2 (39:11):
You know it's horrible for me.
Speaker 1 (39:13):
Yeah, I always get stuck in this loop where I'm.
Speaker 2 (39:15):
Like, ye, yeah, yeah, I like you think it's not
gonna go away.
Speaker 1 (39:20):
And I'd like convince my every time I would like,
really trip hard, I'd be like, I think I just
smoked crack and now I'm in a crack then, and
like that's never happened in my head. I was like,
I'm gonna do crack.
Speaker 2 (39:31):
Your mind portrays it like that.
Speaker 1 (39:33):
It's horrible.
Speaker 3 (39:34):
Yeah, mushrooms are bad.
Speaker 1 (39:35):
There's so bad.
Speaker 2 (39:37):
Don't do drugs. If you guys are out there and
you haven't done drugs, don't start.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
Don't fucking star. It's not fun, especially if.
Speaker 3 (39:45):
You have We're saying that it's not fun.
Speaker 2 (39:47):
It's not fun. And if you're on drugs watching this,
fucking get some help, yeah, because I know you don't
want to be on the drugs, but it's addicting.
Speaker 1 (39:55):
So it's addiction is a fucking beast, dude, and you
don't really mental health.
Speaker 2 (40:00):
It's all When I was yeah, it's all in the
same fucking thing. When I was like younger, I was like, yeah, fuck,
what's mental health? I don't even know what it was.
Speaker 3 (40:09):
I was just like, these guys are fries.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
This is gay, dude. Yeah. I thought it was stupid.
I was like, what's mental health? I'm fine, Like I
want a party.
Speaker 1 (40:18):
Yeah, that's what's cool.
Speaker 2 (40:20):
And I just thought mental health was just like I
don't even know, like I had no clue what it was.
Speaker 1 (40:26):
It wasn't really also talked about when we were young.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
You know, I feel like there's a.
Speaker 1 (40:29):
Huge like research or a huge surge.
Speaker 2 (40:31):
Right now, like really mental health is like depression, Yeah,
your happiness, everything, your behavior.
Speaker 1 (40:40):
Yeah, how you function in the world, how you have
relationships with other people, Yeah, it's yeah, dude. And it's
like so I went out on mushrooms and then I
started doing them like every weekend because I was like, oh,
I'll just do like one big mushroom trip a year
to like reset myself.
Speaker 2 (40:55):
Uh huh.
Speaker 1 (40:56):
And again, like I stepped away from the program. I
like was just not I just was like doing things
on my own. And then I was just doing mushrooms
all the time and then not even liking it. And
then I started doing molly because I was like well
it's Molly, like I'm.
Speaker 2 (41:11):
Gonna feel good. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (41:13):
And I remember I like when I did Molly a
couple of times, and I was like, I went over
the summer, I went to my cousin's wedding in Italy
and like one of his friends like brought.
Speaker 2 (41:22):
Mollie and.
Speaker 1 (41:25):
I was the one who was like everybody else was
like able to be normal and was just like having fun.
But for me, the whole night, I was like chasing
the mom where to go, where to go? And everybody
was like, yo, you're good, and I was like I
just need more and you know, and nobody else was
doing that. Everybody else was having fun and.
Speaker 3 (41:41):
Yeah, no, we take it to the next level. There's
never enough.
Speaker 1 (41:45):
And it just and even being like a even like
being a sober I had been sober from alcohol for
so long. I was like, it's like it was weird
because I'd like know that I'm an addict, but then
you start like straying away from that and you're like, oh,
I can handle things. I'm fine, Yeah, as long as
I'm not doing the things that.
Speaker 3 (42:04):
Are Again, it's horrible self bondage all of it.
Speaker 2 (42:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (42:09):
Yeah, And so I like kind of realized and then
like on my birthday of last year, August nineteenth, I
like I was doing mushrooms and I had a couple
of friends in town to come up, come hang out
for my birthday, and we were like, you know, I
was like, you know, if I'm wanna smoke weed, I
don't like weed. I never liked weed, but I was like, yeah,
fuck it. And then I got so high and it
(42:31):
was just like that night I went to bed and
I was like what am I doing?
Speaker 2 (42:35):
Yeah, And the next day I was like, that's like
a spiritual awakening, it was.
Speaker 1 (42:38):
And then I started going back to the rooms in September,
so I restarted my date to twentieth.
Speaker 2 (42:44):
Yeah, it's all good. They're all like every you know,
there's no there's no shame in that.
Speaker 1 (42:49):
No, there's nothing.
Speaker 3 (42:50):
That's what's cool about that is they'll always take you back.
Speaker 1 (42:53):
Yeah, they always do. And it's I had a lot
of pride around it for a little bit. It was
really hard for me to like admit that it was
a relapse because I was like, well, it's not alcohol,
it's not coke, Like yeah, it's just you know, it's fine.
But then I remember, like I had I got a
new like sponsor, and I'm.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Like, be real, let's get real, you know, right.
Speaker 1 (43:13):
And I got a new sponsor and I was like,
does it I don't have to restart my daycount, you know,
because I was doing that stuff. And she was like, well,
as your sponsor, if I told you that I was
out doing mushrooms and molly, would you consider that sober?
And I was like new and like that. She's like, yeah,
so you you should good.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Good for you.
Speaker 1 (43:31):
We're back.
Speaker 2 (43:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:32):
I always got to own up to your fuck ups.
Speaker 1 (43:34):
It's hard.
Speaker 3 (43:35):
I know, I know, trust me.
Speaker 4 (43:37):
It's so.
Speaker 2 (43:38):
But that's but once you own up to it and
people are like, all right, cool, you owned up to
it and fucking let it be in the past.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
And people are very simple.
Speaker 2 (43:47):
Yeah for the most part for sure.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
And if you just don't do it again, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2 (43:52):
Yeah, that's how we operate though, you know. But yeah,
it's been good. Sobriety is the best thing ever happened
to me. It's the best, for sure.
Speaker 1 (44:00):
Congress on your fucking five months.
Speaker 2 (44:01):
Thanks thanks huge, Yeah, thanks, It's it wasn't easy. It's
not easy because fuck, I grew up around the gnarliest
fuckers in the world, like just smoking, drinking, partying, just
like drug dealers all around me. You know. It's just
like couldn't get out of it. So I finally got
out of it. So I'm stoked.
Speaker 1 (44:18):
It's crazy to even think that you can get out
of it too, you know, Like, yeah.
Speaker 2 (44:25):
It's like the first month is the hardest month, you know, yeah,
or like the first couple of months is the hardest.
Speaker 1 (44:30):
I didn't even realize, you know, when I got even
Like I remember, like right before I got sober, I
didn't that was never anything in my head. I remember
I had a few friends that were sober, and I
was just like, I don't get it, Like what do
you mean you know, what do you mean you're sober?
Mm hmmm, why you know, Like I couldn't figure out
what it was or why they were.
Speaker 2 (44:52):
Yeah, they just there's a lifestyle out there that you
know that you you don't have to be sober, you know, Yeah,
but you can also just have self worth and fucking
be a Daryl. And I guess that's fun to people.
It was fun for me.
Speaker 1 (45:04):
Yeah, it's fun until it's not.
Speaker 3 (45:06):
Yeah, it's fun until you're thirty six living in a
U haul.
Speaker 2 (45:09):
You know, so I like exactly, I thought it was
like gonna be cool, like go to the like club
and get a bottle and the table. You know.
Speaker 3 (45:17):
Yeah, like it was cool.
Speaker 2 (45:19):
You know, I'm not, don't get me wrong, but yeah,
if you I took it too far, so right, as
long as you don't take it too far and you're
you stay in that control zone, you're good. But some
meaning I.
Speaker 1 (45:29):
Can't do that exactly, And like that's the thing is,
like there's a different like some people can. Some people
can function and like have fun and drink and do drugs.
Speaker 2 (45:37):
Occasionally I'll be fucking picking my boggers and wiping them
on the wall and.
Speaker 1 (45:40):
Ship and that, and I'll still do that sober. Yeah,
it was way worse than I was drinking.
Speaker 3 (45:45):
Yeah, very sure, dude.
Speaker 1 (45:47):
I would in my bed and sleeping it.
Speaker 2 (45:50):
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 3 (45:51):
Yeah, I wouldn't wake up until like one pm.
Speaker 1 (45:53):
And you think me too. And I would like would
think it was cool.
Speaker 2 (45:56):
I'd be like I'd get these cycles, Yeah, get these cycles.
Speaker 3 (45:59):
Like maybe I was good, like.
Speaker 2 (46:01):
Doing it cool for a couple of weeks, going to
bed at ten, but then I just get fucking stuck
in this yeah, fucking I was like a fucking night owl. Yeah,
and I'd just be up all night at the bars,
and then after the bar you go to your friend's
house get the bag. But anyways, yeah, you know, we've
all been there. But it's good to be sober. I'm
stoked and you're so freaking funny. I'm stoked you came
(46:22):
on the podcast. Let me know when the next stand
up show is and I'll come and fucking are.
Speaker 1 (46:27):
You in town Sunday or you don't if you want
to come up Sunday.
Speaker 2 (46:31):
Sunday, I'll be in Newport at my old sponsor's birthday.
Speaker 1 (46:39):
Nice?
Speaker 2 (46:39):
Yeah, nice.
Speaker 1 (46:40):
I'm also I'm gonna be in San Diego June twenty ninth.
Speaker 2 (46:45):
Cool, Well, hit up, hit up, Hannah, I will Yeah,
I don't know you're coming through. She'll she'll love to
hang out. Yeah, hell yeah for sure. Hell yeah.
Speaker 3 (46:54):
Well you guys, that's a freaking rap. Gabby. What's your
TikTok name?
Speaker 1 (47:00):
Social media handles? Gabby Lammy g A B b Y
l A M B Y check her out Instagram.
Speaker 3 (47:06):
Yeah, check her out? So funny. I'm glad you came today.
Speaker 1 (47:10):
Thanks for having me. Yeah, that flew By.
Speaker 3 (47:12):
That was awesome.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Yeah, podcasts are awesome. I make the podcast good. You know,
we know it's not boring boring?
Speaker 3 (47:19):
Can just fucking.
Speaker 1 (47:21):
Dam it was fast? How long was that nice?
Speaker 3 (47:25):
You got a hard out?
Speaker 4 (47:27):
Hell?
Speaker 2 (47:27):
Yeah? Thank you to all the sponsors on this pod,
and we'll check you guys later, don't forget. Click up
here to subscribe and click over here to watch more videos,
and the link is in the description below to check
out Gabby's funny ass tiktoks and her instagram and stuff.
So yeah, hope you enjoyed.
Speaker 3 (47:44):
See ya.
Speaker 1 (47:47):
Jerkmate dot com.
Speaker 2 (47:48):
You never have to jerk off alone again.
Speaker 4 (47:51):
That was the awesome Gabby Lamb stand up comic and
absolute pop babe.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
You can check her out.
Speaker 4 (47:56):
On Instagram for general awesomeness and show dates at Gabby Lamby.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
That's with a why at the end.
Speaker 2 (48:01):
I'm pretty sure I'm reading that correctly.
Speaker 4 (48:03):
Anyway, I have been your humble narrator, a guy that
I think you hate, and this has been the shittiest
poop podcast with poopies. Make sure you come back next
week for more poopiness, for more stories of pooping and sobriety.
Speaker 2 (48:18):
Are we going? How long are we going to keep
doing this shit?
Speaker 1 (48:20):
Oh my god.
Speaker 4 (48:22):
The Shittiest Podcast is produced by the World's Worst people,
Tyler Nielsen, Ryan Tillotson, Frank Driscoll and narrated by Me
the Narrator. Special thanks to the straw Hut team.
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