May 4, 2022 • 39 mins
On this episode of The Shi**iest Podcast, Poopies talks to fellow Jackass co-star Dave England!
Watch it on YouTube! Sponsored by Manscaped! For your 20% discount go to: Manscaped.com Enter promo code "Poopies20" at checkout!
Watch it on YouTube! Sponsored by Manscaped! For your 20% discount go to: Manscaped.com Enter promo code "Poopies20" at checkout!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
All right, you guys, welcometo the Poopies Podcast. We have the
original Poopies Dave England. Yeah,Dave, dude, you're gonna like set
the bar right here, dude,for real, up there. I heard
you were the funniest podcast on Stevo'sWild Ride. Oh. I think it
(00:24):
was just because of the story Iwas telling. Oh dude, I watched
it. It was the funniest thingever that time. Hell Im Paris,
Yeah, yeah, so being theoriginal Poopies what, um, he goes,
what No, I don't know whatI'm talking about. Um. Yeah,
(00:45):
I'm just glad. I'm glad tohave you. Dude. This is
gonna be awesome, I know,I dude, Yeah, I'm having you.
Yeah, I think so. It'scracking the Poopies Podcast. I know
it's weird, dude. I've neverthought in my life I'd ever have you
on a podcast. I never thoughtin my life I'd ever have a podcast.
So neither did we, Poopies.Neither did we. Hi, everybody,
(01:07):
and welcome to the Shittiest podcast hostedby Poopies. This week, Poopies
is joined by Jackass, co star, former professional snowboarder and one bald legend,
Dave England, let's get right intoit. There's no phone. I
got a couple of questions. Youwrote down stuff. Yeah, I actually
did put your hands together. Areyou Are you on drugs? No?
(01:30):
Not any just wait yeah, fuckinghell yeah, the shittiest podcast in the
world. We're back at the Pooppodcast with the Ledge Dave Eagley. Probably
the Red Jackets, Oh for sure, dude, definitely, Dude. We're
number one movie right now. Stillstill are we? Hell yeah, yeah,
(01:52):
that's awesome. I think so.By now, I don't know.
I don't think so a couple ofweeks, right, yeah, well there's
this day I don't even know.I was like, it's been at least
a week, right, two weeks? Two weeks, I think, yeah,
two weeks. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, man, it was.
I've I've seen it in the theaterslike five times. Did you where
(02:13):
did you see it? Oh?I just saw it at the Ventura Theater,
sad I thought that one night atthe premiere. I've only seen it
twice. Really, yeah, Iwas frothing on it, dude. I
was like watching it all the time. I was gonna the FI. I'd
like put my hood on and makesure no like Zomi. And yeah,
(02:34):
last night I took some chick fromLakeside, San Diego to the movie last
night. Yeah, what do youthink she loved it? She loved it,
you know, Yeah, she waslaughing and then, um, yeah,
she loved when we are jump ropingwith our penises of freaking jump roping
(02:55):
with our penises of freaking freaking stucktogether. I saw that in there.
I was sitting next to my mytwo oldest kids when the first time we
watched that the premiere, They're all, oh, dad's dick hooked to the
other dude's dick. I know,dude, I was. I was hoping
they weren't gonna fucking show that,and they did. I was like,
(03:16):
ah, that's not me, don'tlook. I know, dude, I
I'm choked. It made it.I was like, man, I was,
and it did. Yeah. Fuckyeah, we made it. I
know. I can't think about it. There's no going back now, there's
no going back. I remember thatday. It was the first like first
it was the second day of thetest shoot, and it was like our
last night, and um, yeah, I got pretty crazy in that room.
(03:42):
Yeah, it was like it wasjust dusk outside. It was like
the end of the day, endof a crazy day. It was you
know what it was. It wasright after the musical chairs thing, and
we all got blown up. Yeah. I got in the middle, so
like I was like, I hadhurt my neck. I was all I
was like. And then all ofa sudden, you know, sandwiching our
dick down. I know, dude. I was like, I was like,
(04:04):
what the hell is going on here? This is like the real deal.
And then like I remember, likethey're like, keep going, keep
going. I didn't know how gnarlyto get and I they would just get
flatter and flattery. Did I comeon them? I didn't hurt at all?
Did you hurt? Mind hurt?When it pulled out? Like oh
yeah, yeah, on the wayout the different because I was like hitting
(04:26):
it down. It's just like youjust watch your dick get bigger, yeah,
like tight and tight and tightened.Yeah, it didn't really feel like
anything. You just no, itlooks cool though, You're watching your dick
get bigger. Incentive to keep tighteningit getting bigger and tightening, dude.
Yeah, yeah, I got likethat wide. It was like three wide
(04:46):
salamander or something. Yeah, itreminded me like a dead dick in a
jar or something. Yeah, yeah, I definitely had a no, yeah,
it was definitely dead dick. Yeah, but yeah, I was pretty
confident it would like it. Yeah, And I was like, yeah,
there's no bones in the boner unlessit's unless it's a boner and then you
(05:09):
got a like a blood bone.Yeah, we're one of the only animals
without a bone in there. I'mglad because mine would have broken so many
times. I'm sure years would havebeen fucking years, would have been like
casted up, like fifty times.For sure. They had to put a
plate in there. Oh my god, what if you had a metal plate
in your dick? That would befreaking horrific. A compound fracture or oh
(05:33):
my god, yeah you cooko dick. What if all the chicks like that
one, like, yeah, he'sgot a call down fracture, like they're
all psyched on it a little bit. Oh okay, enough dick talk.
But um no, come on,I know I love it. I was
actually I'm going back to dick took, but come on, did you get
(05:54):
one of these? Oh, dude, I haven't got one yet. I
wonder if dude, I know youknow what I was thinking. I thought
that was like a straight up dude, the thing is so awesome. Do
it? Do it? Yes?It does? It taste like plastic close.
That was Pawnys freaking trying to getright there. He did he got
(06:17):
got me, got me? Yeah, yeah, I think it went in.
I know I got an order one. Yes, yeah, I like
my law keep it right here.I wonder if like chicks use it.
I think everybody's been using it,Like how would you not use this?
But look at that you? Yeah, I know that's the first time that
(06:41):
in the back. See there's twoof them. There's like the tail is
like this is like a little that'slike the um no one knows it,
but that's your dick on the onthe tail. Yeah. We should put
it on that clamp. Oh mygod, that would be fun. I
should I should get Yeah, likea little lot black Sea. It's like
(07:05):
it's ready for it, like youshould you should do it. You should
do it and send it to thegroup message. That would be classic.
Hey guess what what? You're notgonna believe this? Did you know there's
a whole other movie that we havein the can that's coming out at one
point yeah, four point five,right, four point five? I don't
know what are they gonna call?Are they gonna call the jackass forever?
(07:26):
Point five? That's that's a mouthful. I think it's just gonna be four
point five. It's not a moviethough, just four point I just saw
you to say jack asses four pointfive. You don't you know we're talking
about Yeah, yeah, no,they know. It's just all the clips
that didn't make it, which I'mbaffled on, like all you're so dude,
I think it's gonna be better thanforever. It might be. That's
(07:47):
the thing I didn't I've never feltthis way about a point five before.
I know, dude, I haven'teither, because there's so much stuff up
we didn't use, and that's it'slike amazing, like amazing stuff. I
agree, but I can't wait foreveryone to see that. That's when we
I think that's when we shine onthat on that one. Yeah, do
you what do you think August willget released? Who knows? Joe?
(08:07):
You control that like you released?Right? Yeah? I try. I
have a little part of it.Like Knoxville asked me, you know,
he Tremaine asked me. He goesyeah, when you poopies when you want
this release, and I just lethim know it depends on the moon and
the tides and everything. So maybeit's got to be during the swell when
when there's swell, everyone's stoked.Everyone caught a bunch of waves. And
(08:30):
then we release it after a bigswell. We just wait for the swell
and then yeah, yeah, yeah, after a good swell sometimes the summer,
late summers. Yeah, like afterthe best swell of the summer in
what area? Everywhere? West coastof California. All right, yeah,
so we can score and then wecan release the movie. So but back
(08:52):
to that, back to that dayand that room. I remember, you're
what room, the one where we'redoing the penis freaking Oh yeah, yeah,
what was you how do you callit? Where you have that tool
and it goes smasher smash, Yeah, the dick smasher. But I remember
it was like my last last thingof the day and I was like,
(09:16):
I have to like get an earlyhere, and I remember like you're like
I have to pee, and youstarted peeing and freaking. I went down
and I opened my mouth and Iwas you're about to pee in my mouth?
But not still cutting pulled out.It was a long plush, the
god thing pitch shut on my peaand then you like try to sell that,
(09:37):
receive the end of it. Andthen your eyes looked out my eyes
and I'm like, yeah, thatwas that was our connection. Yeah,
they're dripping, dude. I waslike, maybe I went du bar,
maybe I went dar I'm sorry farenough, Yeah for real, for real,
I mean I had to. Ihad to show. Now I'm like
(10:00):
really dedicated, you know, yeah, yeah for sure. But um,
yeah, that was classic. Iwas That's when we became like brothers right
there. That's when became second Iknew. Yeah, yeah, eyes and
dicks, oh shit, locked diesand like digs. That's so true.
(10:26):
That should be the chapter for thatone. That should be the title.
No. Um, but yeah,that was freaking crazy. And then I
remember like that night we like came, I came down from the hook.
That's when I went to my hotelroom. I was like, this is
freaking awesome, and like I wastripping out in my hotel room by myself,
and I was like, all right, I got it, Like get
(10:48):
down there for dinner. And Iremember coming down there and you're all sitting
there and I was like super like, I don't know. It wasn't like
a shame, but I was justlike I felt weird, Like they all
saw my and like it's all youknow what I mean. But no,
that's how I felt. I wasnew to this, dude. This is
my first. No, this wasmy You guys were in the lobby before
(11:09):
dinner and we're all meeting up.We were thinking about it there either no,
no, I think about what we'regonna eat. And I know,
I know you guys now, Iknow the thought process now. But yeah,
and then and then you guys fuckedwith me. I came up and
like I went to shake you guys'shand, you got and everyone was like
did you wash your hands? Andthen I was like, yeah, I
(11:31):
know, I know. I waslike, well, I was like you
guys yea and not on the hand. Yeah, it was awesome. Though
it was awesome. I was like, dude, you guys are sucking classic
dude. But yeah, that wasfunny. Shit man, The fucking two
days test shoot was epic. Yeah. That was December twenty nineteen, that
(11:54):
crazy, crazy twenty two that's fuckingtwo years ago. I mean, we'll
tech you please more more years yeah, not quite in December will be three
years, but yeah more than twoyears left, three years, two point
three years. Yeah, we justwe just let them, you know,
let them. Wait. I didn'twant that one to come out for two
(12:15):
years. I didn't want that oneto come out. Yeah, we held
it, we had it. Yeah, like just just let it. Yeah,
just freaking live your lifestyle. Andthen what's it in your hand?
Um, I've puff bar that onethat was like, yeah, it's the
butt plug. It's it's a vibratortoo. It's a vibrated out. It
really vibably for the chicks. Dude, that's crazy with it. I know,
(12:39):
it's freaking horrible. It's addicting.Fuck. I had some great I
have some great news, but I'mgetting a chill on Discovery Plus. Oh
yeah, hell yeah, what's itcalled. It's called What Not to Do?
What Not to Do? Yeah,but not to do stuff? The
thing is about to do. Iknow it's gonna I know it's gonna be
(13:01):
like a thousand seasons, Dude,I'm gonna be like eighty film and Whatnot
to Do? Yeah, but yeah, it's me and um the guy from
MythBusters Tory Marcelli. Oh yeah,so me and yeah, congratulation. Thanks.
Yeah, Trip trip hooked it up. Trip got it from your jackass,
(13:22):
right yeah, Trip Trips the reasonI'm on Jackass. He's the man,
dude left it right. Wow,he's the help he ever. Look
at this thing. It's it's liquidweed. No way, wow, liquid
weed. I wish I could takea shot with you. I got it
(13:46):
chairs, I got a little joint. I gotta joints to that, chairs
to that chairs. Yeah, liquidweed. That thing's like a good dude,
you got a lot there. It'slike, yeah, he's got his
whole bottle. That's curage sitting inmy garage for this. Oh, dude,
(14:07):
you gotta take a shot before yougo surfing. Oh you got it
in the fridge too. Huh.That is awesome, dude, dude,
I bump. I can't. I'mnot gonna be able to surf. You
got the giant tent delivered, like, oh, I'm trying to lift it
like a dummy. And I poppeda fucking thing. You popped a blood
vessel or yeah, like open youknow the hernia, like your stomach all
(14:28):
open a little bit and your puckguts are like oh yeah, get out
it hurts. It didn't hurt it. It feel like weird, feel like
don't kicked you in the nuts.I hope you get better, dude,
because we need a surfing skate.I just got a new surfboard, but
I haven't got it. Yeah.I was gonna pick it up soon down
south an album company. H albumalbum surf? Where there from sant Clemente,
(14:50):
Oh, sick album surf? Iprobably probably. I was all excited
to pick it up and then like, I can't surf for a I'll probably
lag on that. Well, youcome pick it up and there's waves and
we'll go serve. Well, yeah, we'll go straight to lowers and just
snake everyone. I don't know whatthat was, that trestles or something.
(15:11):
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, so many. Well,
it's all right, I'll freak him. I'll tell everyone to get out of
the way, eating bags, eatingby a shark. I heard you really
got this bit by a seagull?Is that true? Yeah? Yeah,
I was a seagull. Yeah,yeah, I knew it. Yeah,
we try to dude. Photoshops photoshopseverything, man, photoshop works really good.
(15:37):
Oh dude, I I don't forgotmy lighter. Huh damn, I
got Can I use it working?Yeah? Got it? Like my computer.
Loved that, like you by yourcomputer on virus off. I think
(15:58):
is say, oh dude, thoseare freaking they're paper stickers. I think,
yeah, yeah they're not. Iwish they made I wish they didn't
make the paper ones. But theyare good for everything. I put them
all over my town. Yeah,they're everywhere. I put them everywhere.
Let people know. Yeah, casethey were worring if caisse, they were
wondering if the gats forever with aheart for the vat. Yeah. How's
(16:22):
your Valentine's Day? Was the daybefore is my wife's birthday, So we're
pretty much rage that day. NiceSunday while everyone else is watching sports,
we were we were getting romantic nice. Hell yeah. Yeah. I was
coming home from Vegas on Valentine's Day. Yeah, all right, good for
(16:47):
a year. Yeah, it wasfun. I had my Valentine's Day getting
headies all the way home from Vegas. Jesus fucking Christ. Poopies, all
right, it's great, Yeah,poopies. All right? What Mike says,
(17:07):
Dave, I looked the thing.It's Mike says, David, you're
sa straw Hat, So that's mymedia company. You know what it reminds
me of is when I was akid, and uh here in Minor County,
the local um pizza places were calledstraw Hat Pizza. I don't know
how bigger chain it was. Itcould be other places I've ever heard of
it straw Hat Pizza, and uhso they like the game. So it's
(17:29):
just a place called stra Happizza andthey had That was the first place I
ever saw a pac Man video game. They first came out with pac Man.
They didn't have it all dialed inso you could like you could like
unscrew the knob, so we wouldunscrew it and then put it in the
salad bar with the with the cherrytomatoes. Fuck can we take a cherry
(17:52):
tomato in? And then slamming ontothe video shot the fun and then we
watched at all capitals are casual.We were like twelve years old. Someone
would come by and put a quarterin. Why are they just squeezed the
cherry tomato? They're like, what'tthe Oh my god, a stickering in
the corner and then what is geniusdown? And we see the person that
(18:14):
would go to the salad bar andthey go, I'm gonna have this big
old tomato and they put them.Fucking Yeah, he controlled nobby their staff.
Dude, like two times or so. I didn't even actually grab it,
but ratis double frank ever, Ohmy god, that is genius.
That is fucking dude. I don'tdrop hat pizza. I'll never forget it.
Dude, that's so fucking classic.Then, dude, how did you
(18:41):
even think of that one? That? Yeah, I just unscrew it.
Look I have it. Well,look it looks like cherry tomatoes sting light
bulb. You know. Straw HatMedia is in no way associated with straw
Hat Pizza, but if they arelistening to this, we are always looking
for sponsorship opportunities. Yeah, dude, Like growing up as a surf grum,
we're definitely doing some fucked up shipto all the tourists or the people
(19:03):
that the adults, you know.Yeah, but yeah, we hated the
adults. We used to do wherewould go to either side of the road
when a card has come, andthen we would both lean back to you,
one on one side the road,ones on the other, and you'd
lean back like you have a ropethat you're oh y yeah, yeah,
yeah, we didn't even have anything. Yeah, I mean people would slay
(19:25):
like what anything? Oh dude,dude, that's so it's do you have
you ever done the duct tape onthe road? No, what do you
do with that? So you doa big you do a strip of duct
tape um where they're tired, wheretheir tire goes on the road and then
it fucking sticks in their tire andthen starts flapping on their tire like it's
a flat tire. So they pullover and they'd fucking duct tape all of
(19:48):
them. Yeah, that was agood one. We love doing that one,
dude, We love doing that.We were at the beach all day,
right next to Coast Highway. That'sall we did all day. Yeah,
we had all kinds of ship,but we were bad way to throw
a bunch of lemon orchards nearby.We'd always throw the lemons in the cars
and and hope they chase this throughthe lemon trees. Yeah, because we
(20:14):
knew all the secrets for sure,let me get me like hell yeah,
come so good. And then behindneighborhoods too, we had all these things
called did you have to like jumpover, you know, so we would
have a mean dog in their backyardand you know just how to run where
you wouldn't get it. And Ihope they person chase you and maybe the
dogs getting them and okay, they'reawesome. There's a lot of different things.
(20:38):
Uh, that's funny. Yeah,Tear Trials of the Tear Trials of
Camario Tara Shells a Camarillo. Yeahyeah. Founded by Larry bord a lot,
Larry bard a lot. Yeahs.He wasn't too stoked on you guys,
was he. No, No,Larry Bordelot was my friend who he
was the way always He created thetear like here's the way we go.
(21:00):
No way used it like the worsttrailer you could take through people's yards and
everything to get chased by you.As you're being chased, you lure someone
off the road to chase you downa carrot trail. And then we got
cars. This is the first thingwe did with cards. We see how
many how many front laws we coulddrive through a row shot up? Yeah,
(21:21):
like you could get through alive.Don't care about the bushes and share
yeah yeah, if do you guys? Do you guys know a horrible behavior.
But I don't know for some reasonwhere we were like sixteen years old.
Yeah, I mean that. Backthen, there's no security cameras or
cell phones. No one had akind of way to record anything. They're
(21:41):
like, I'm gonna take a pictureof you. Then I'm gonna go down
to this photo man. In aweek when I get my phone back,
I'm gonna find out, you know, no one. Yeah, yeah,
you can't. There's no way ofgetting caught. Dude. I wish I
live back in that way is toget caught, but you not not as
easy today. It would be likeit would be like, I, oh,
you'res son was at my freaking wasI saw your son running through my
(22:03):
yard the other night. Yeah,you got your son was making loud noise
with all his friends there to night. I don't know what they're doing,
but they're over there taking a shipin the freaking lawn. Uh, dude,
I've done the um the shit doggiedoor, the fucking fire out the
bag roll. It went horribly.I did it to the wrong person,
(22:30):
bro, I did it to thewrong person. Right person to do it,
you know, an old lady oran old man, or like someone
that doesn't have a gun and furtherleg or something like because she was like
stomping on fire. Each Yeah,I don't know. I thought we were
(22:51):
like I thought I was like BillyMadison, you know you are. I
really wasn't. And then so wedid that, and we're hiding in the
bushes. We light the bag onfire. We're lighting in the bushes,
and then the guy comes out andhe like puts it out with like water
and then he like sweeps it offto his lawn. He gets a broom
(23:11):
sweeps it out. But I wasrunning and my fucking shoes fell off through
the ice plant, so he nojust one. So he sees the shoe
and then he sees he fucking hearsus because we fucking can't stop laughing.
So we're fucking laughing our guts off, and he hears us. And we're
(23:33):
behind this dumpster on the other sideof the street in the apartment complex dumpster,
like hiding behind the wall, andhe fucking sees us, and he
fucking we tried running and he fuckinggot us, and he got me.
He fucking got me because I waslike trying to grab my shoe from him
too, because I went in myshoe back. So I was like trying
to grab my shoe. Bro,I couldn't, dude, I only had
(23:56):
one pair of shoes. I'm not. We had to go hang out with
chicks that night. It was likethe surf shop party or some shit,
and held in the tails. You'remany bow so he yeah, but fucking
he he got me, dude.He grabbed me by the bat fing,
pulls me back, and then hetakes me hostage. He takes me hostage
(24:18):
into his his apartment and then yeah, but before he took me hostage,
he put me in his car.So he grabbed me, put me in
his car, and then yeah,so sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'm getting ahead of myself. Sothis guy puts me in No,
it turns out turns out yeah,he was gnarly dude, So he puts
(24:42):
me in the car. But hetold my friends. He goes, if
you guys don't come over here rightnow, I'm gonna take your friend in
the desert and kill him. Sodude, I'm tripping. I'm like,
guys, hell here where is he'ssaying that to them? From? Where?
Like there? They ran away.They're like four twenty yards away,
like thirty yards away. Yeah,people here, it's yeah, he don't
(25:03):
give a fuck. Wow, hewas pissed. He was pissed because the
Grams got him the fuckings. Heknows about the rats, he knows about
us carlsbad rats. So like hefreaking grabbed me. Of course I'm the
one who gets caught. I'm alwaysthe one who gets caught. And he
puts me in the trunk, andhe shuts the trunk, and then he
goes around the block like a bunchof times, and he fucking comes back
(25:26):
and fucking because actually before he putme in the trunk, he goes,
you guys better come over here.Also, I'm gonna, you know,
take him to the desert and killhim. So my boys run into the
surf shop and tell the older guysat the surf shop. Yeah. Yeah,
So the boys go to the surfshop. My boys go to the
surf shop and fucking tell the older, older guys what happened. They got
(25:48):
poopies. Freaking this guy's got poopies. So the guy drives me back to
his house because we're like probably likethree blocks from the surf shop, two
blocks super close. So the guydrives me back to his house, puts
me in the house, and he'sgot a fake gun, but at the
time I thought it was a realgun. Who is this guy's the latest
choice is to deal with this.He's like, I'll just put him like
(26:11):
yeah, he was like he was, he was just like out. Yeah,
he was good, dude, We'rewe're tripping, dude. I was
tripping. I was like, you'refucking crazy, dude. And then he
held me hostage in his house.And then the boys showed up knocking on
the door with baseball bats and thenso and then I'm like, dude,
(26:33):
he's like and then he goes,no, he goes, tell your boys
to back off. Tell your boysto back off right now. So I
go, okay, boys back off, back off. Like he's gonna let
me out, and fucking dude thathe opens the door and the older guys
go Zach and they fucking knew theguy, and they go, oh,
what's up. Oh you're fucking withpoopies. Yeah, And the guy goes,
(26:56):
yeah, I'm just fucking with poopies. He didn't know my name was
Poopies. But he's like, yeah, I'm just fucking with him. And
the and everyone's like, oh,all happy. I don't think so,
but he knew someone, sorry,because when he got around his brows,
he had to act kind of morenormal. Yeah. Yeah, because the
boys shot like older dudes, likethey're like thirty five, maybe like thirty,
and I was only like fucking maybelike nineteen twenty twenty one. But
(27:21):
that's what the story was from.Yeah, I think so, maybe eighteen.
I god, damn it, Ithought you were thirteenth at most.
Maybe it was. No, I'mpretty sure. Sorry, I'm pretty sure
you were like eight or nineteen.Light and ship on fire on people's doorge
steps. Age is just a number. How old were you when we when
(27:42):
we started Jackass Forever? I waslike thirteen going into fourteen. How old
are you when we started filming themovie Jackass Forever? Oh, I was
thirty three? Thirty three? Thatwas the best younger first started Jackass.
I was thirty. No, weird, it's a weird time to start something
in our pretty but I know,right, I think it's just super stupid,
(28:04):
extra stupid. Yeah, it's prettytrippy though. Yeah, it's pretty
weird. Dude, it's weird.I love doing it though, But yeah,
that was this ship bag story.And then so that was at the
surf shop. We had so manygood times at the surf shop. Yeah,
I used to hang out as likea surfing skate shop, our dubed
(28:25):
surf shop. And then yeah,all the skate shots. It's so fun
to just when your kid just justskate and then just when it's too hot
outside or whatever, just kicking inthe shop there on video. Yeah,
originally you're from Missouri. Oh Missouri. Yeah, but before Missouri, I
was a I was a riverside valleygrum. Oh really, yeah, I
didn't really know what I wanted todo. Like it was kind of weird.
(28:48):
I don't know. I was anadhdd out. Like my parents were
like trying to figure out what waswrong with me, and like I was
like jumping from desk to desk,like just beat Mayhem. Dude, I
was freaking Mayhem. I used tohave a leash and ship dude, a
rainbow leash, I remember, andfucking most craziest kid. Yeah, Rainbow
(29:11):
one. It was. It waspretty freaking sick. We realized this is
the third time in three episodes thatPoopies has brought up the rainbow leash.
Getting used to it because this storywill most likely be repeated a lot.
But yeah, so Redlands and thenmy mom split up and remarried to my
step dad, Scott, which is, uh, he's I'm so grateful for
him because he takes care of mymom and and um yeah, she has
(29:34):
a lot of like health problems andstuff. So he's there to take care
of her. So that's like becauseif he wasn't there, I would have
to be there, and then Iwouldn't be here, you know. Family
first, But so very grateful forhim. But Missouri for from third grade
to eighth grade because I moved toMissouri and I was in fourth grade.
But the age different there is different, the age school, the school age
(29:59):
difference. Oh you know, howto fucking I started talking about school,
I started sucking, having flashbacks,um vision, Yeah, the grade system
wasn't wasn't like California was. SoI showed up and I was showed up
there and I was in fourth grade. Then they put me back to third
grade. Yeah, so I waslike, no way. So now I'm
(30:22):
a third grader and now, likemy reputations just like blowing out of the
water because they're like, why didyou go back to third grade. I
was like, I don't know,like the age school difference, like yeah,
no way, you're just stupid orsome ship. But oh, it
was a whole different crowd of people, right, the whole different. Yeah.
So I moved to Missouri and Imade all these friends in fourth grade
(30:44):
and they loved me, and itwas sick. And then no, and
when I went to fourth grade inMissouri, it was sick. I was
killing it. I fucking had friends. And then they go, oh,
you need to go back to thirdgrade, and I was like what,
So I go back the way late. He had already been in Yeah,
I was already been in fourth grade. And they're like, go, oh,
no, he needs to go back, and I was like, no
(31:07):
way, dude. So now Iwent back to third grade. Third grade
sucked. I fucking sucked. Thethird graders sucked. And then I'd see
all my fourth grade friends like Iwish I was in fourth grade. So
from right then, I like hatedschool. I was like fuck school,
dude, Like they just put meback in grade your kid, like devastate
for real, dude. Now Ihave to make new friends and now I'm
(31:30):
in third grade. The next thingyou know, I'm getting swung by my
hair and my feet and they're swingingme and my brother comes out. My
brother was in sixth grade. Mybrother comes out. It was out recess
and he comes out for recess,sees this and beats the ship out of
these kids. These Yeah anybody,Yeah for a bigger guy, you're older,
and you go to the younger.I was the same size because I
(31:53):
was little, okay, So yeah, now I got the third graders was
punking my ass. So yeah,school, I hated fucking school, dude.
But yeah, but you gotta doYou gotta do it. You gotta
go to school. And yeah,you gotta go to school. You gotta
do it. Something you gotta do. It made me stronger as a human
(32:14):
though, you know, like goingthrough all that, you know, because
now part of a lot of it'sjust the social interaction at school, you
know. Yeah, it was weird. A lot of people online now,
I don't know, I don't knowknow I was. I was just like
I're forced to be there to dealwith stuff, show how life really is.
Yeah. Maybe I was like totwo like I don't know, interactive
(32:36):
or something. I don't know.Maybe I was too two socials, you
know, because I was just like, oh, you know, fuck,
you want to play? You wantto play? I just wanted to play,
you know what I mean? AndI people think people, the kids
probably seen that, like, ohthis kid fucking just wants to play all
day. Let's fuck with him,you know, or some shit, I
don't know, kids for some schoolwork. I don't want to play,
(32:59):
dude, kids or not any Listen, they listened to their teacher. He
didn't. You're the fourth grade teachers, just get this kid out of my
class right back in third grade.Yeah. It's like yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, overhim too. And the teachers like teachers
like, hey, kids, grabhim by the hair and sweet around,
(33:21):
think of him. Yeah, I'llget fired if I do it. You
do it for real, real,I'll give you all by the hair every
reset. Oh dude, for real, dude. It was fucking classic.
But that was the That was actuallythe school that Preston went to in Missouri.
(33:42):
That is just I tell that storyall the time. I'm like,
you know, two of the peopleon Jackass or from the exact same place,
and you'll never get who it is. It's you in Preston, and
didn't both your dad's work at thesame dynamite factory or something. Yeah,
the same um dynamite factory. Yeah, my step god still works though.
Both our dads worked the same dynamiteSo weird. Who works on dynamite factory?
(34:09):
Like, yeah, I mean Press'sdad with the big every day.
Yeah he's been doing it for liketwenty years. Dude. It's not the
same ship every day. Imagine that. I know, Dude, I like,
I like, put the gunpoper intothe big red thing, stuff it
(34:30):
down, put the fuse in,put the cap on. No, I
don't think it's like that. Helike a couple of him a blown up
that cartoon blown up. Look,it was like, No, I don't
think it's like that. I thinkit's more of just like I think it's
more of him like driving a golfcart around. It's all underground, giant
(34:53):
and yeah yeah yeah, explosions goingoff behind him and hit Yeah. No,
but yeah, it's crazy, thedyno factor. He's actually all underground.
It's all like dude, it's alla granite or limestone. It's all
(35:14):
limestone. So they used the limestoneto make the dynamite. It's a huge.
It's a huge, underground fucking facility. Dude, you would trip.
I've been down there. It's fuckingcrazy. When people have a strong firecracker,
they're always like quarters dynamite. Everyonealways says that, you know,
like a really big firecracker, it'sa quarterstick dynamite. Like what the fuck
(35:36):
is right, dynamite will fucking blowup the mountain. Yeah, that shit's
fucking hard. We should test,we should find out. I'm jane.
Yeah. So it's a big thingon the internet about the this whale that
had been beached, and it waslike thinking of the beach organ So they're
like they fell a dynamite under itto blow it up. That was their
(35:57):
pollution. It was like, yeah, so you see that video, it's
the best too. Yeah, blowas well. Boo, it blows up
and it's just fucking people are gettingcrushed. Said may It was just so
good, oh dude. And there'slike there's people trying to like take pictures
of it and ship too, andthey're way they're like way too close.
It all goes to, yeah,just just so much dynamite. They blew
(36:20):
the fuck out of that fucking whaleeverywhere, just ruined everything. For everybody
that's fucked up they should like atleast they should at least like take like
go bury it somewhere, dude,or something that's not a proper burial for
a while. Bro, you gottalook it up. The guys like,
yeah, we've tried this, wetried that, and that blow it up.
I'm all about proper burials. That'snot a proper burial. It was
(36:44):
sneaking up the whole community. That'swhat they're trying to get rid of the
smell of it. That was theproblem. There were were just like having
fun, like, hey, let'sblow it up. They're like just trying
to get rid of it. Okay, yeah, fuck I just I will,
I will. I just. Ihate seeing wells get blown up,
dude, I don't like either.But it was dead, and the joke
(37:04):
was on the people really because ohyeah, people, I don't even know
who am I died? I don'tknow. And then and then it's and
then it's then then it just sitsthere and just rots and stinks the whole
community. Yeah. Yeah, itwas still just everywhere. Your kids are
just eating well, fucking cark isfrom the fucking sand. I was at
the beach with my friend a fewyears ago, and it dogged a big
whale carcass and his dog ran andstarted like like drolling around in the middle
(37:29):
of it, like it was insidethe whale, just like you know,
like a dog will rubbits head onthe grass and stuff. I was doing
that inside the whale, and thenmy friends like, yeah, there,
you get out there. You gotit out, Like we had to get
put the dog in the car withus, Yeah, trying to get it.
(37:49):
Didn't want to go on the ocenand just wanted to go so like
we couldn't even get it to likerin saft just just just covered it and
rotten whales. Worst thing I eversmelled, except once I boiled a plican's
head that stuck really bad. Whatthe fuck was I just wanted I thought
maybe if I boiled. I hadthis outdoor boiler thing. Yeah, but
it was so steaky to turn itoff. I was just vomiting. Are
(38:21):
you gonna eat it? Are yougonna eat it? I kept it for
a couple of years, it was, but finally a dog came over in
and grabbed it. No way,shoot it all up, But I had
dude, that dog was probably sostoked. Yeah, yeah, he was
stuck. I was super bumped.I bet dude, that's fucked you have
it for two years. That smellwas because it was already a rotten skull,
(38:45):
you know, already nasty, zombified. Legend. Dude. You're such
a legend, dude. I wishwe can talk about more. We get
talked for a freaking out hours andhours. We'll come back on next time.
Yeah, you are a leegin.Thank you so much for daring.
(39:06):
I want to I want to comeserve with you when you're um, when
you're growing. Let I got Igot a little fun growin. If you're
right now, we'll stop jacking offand freaking heal that thing. Oh okay,
now I'll get right on that allright. Queer later, bro,
Thank you for joining us for anotherdoozy of an episode of The Shittiest Podcast
(39:29):
with Poopies. We'll see you backhere next week and until then, stay
shorty. The Shittiest Podcast is producedby the World's Worst People, Tyler Nielsen,
Brian Tillotson, Frank Driscoll and narratedby Me the Narrator. Special thanks
to the straw Hot Team
All right, you guys, welcometo the Poopies Podcast. We have the
original Poopies Dave England. Yeah,Dave, dude, you're gonna like set
the bar right here, dude,for real, up there. I heard
you were the funniest podcast on Stevo'sWild Ride. Oh. I think it
(00:24):
was just because of the story Iwas telling. Oh dude, I watched
it. It was the funniest thingever that time. Hell Im Paris,
Yeah, yeah, so being theoriginal Poopies what, um, he goes,
what No, I don't know whatI'm talking about. Um. Yeah,
(00:45):
I'm just glad. I'm glad tohave you. Dude. This is
gonna be awesome, I know,I dude, Yeah, I'm having you.
Yeah, I think so. It'scracking the Poopies Podcast. I know
it's weird, dude. I've neverthought in my life I'd ever have you
on a podcast. I never thoughtin my life I'd ever have a podcast.
So neither did we, Poopies.Neither did we. Hi, everybody,
(01:07):
and welcome to the Shittiest podcast hostedby Poopies. This week, Poopies
is joined by Jackass, co star, former professional snowboarder and one bald legend,
Dave England, let's get right intoit. There's no phone. I
got a couple of questions. Youwrote down stuff. Yeah, I actually
did put your hands together. Areyou Are you on drugs? No?
(01:30):
Not any just wait yeah, fuckinghell yeah, the shittiest podcast in the
world. We're back at the Pooppodcast with the Ledge Dave Eagley. Probably
the Red Jackets, Oh for sure, dude, definitely, Dude. We're
number one movie right now. Stillstill are we? Hell yeah, yeah,
(01:52):
that's awesome. I think so.By now, I don't know.
I don't think so a couple ofweeks, right, yeah, well there's
this day I don't even know.I was like, it's been at least
a week, right, two weeks? Two weeks, I think, yeah,
two weeks. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah, man, it was.
I've I've seen it in the theaterslike five times. Did you where
(02:13):
did you see it? Oh?I just saw it at the Ventura Theater,
sad I thought that one night atthe premiere. I've only seen it
twice. Really, yeah, Iwas frothing on it, dude. I
was like watching it all the time. I was gonna the FI. I'd
like put my hood on and makesure no like Zomi. And yeah,
(02:34):
last night I took some chick fromLakeside, San Diego to the movie last
night. Yeah, what do youthink she loved it? She loved it,
you know, Yeah, she waslaughing and then, um, yeah,
she loved when we are jump ropingwith our penises of freaking jump roping
(02:55):
with our penises of freaking freaking stucktogether. I saw that in there.
I was sitting next to my mytwo oldest kids when the first time we
watched that the premiere, They're all, oh, dad's dick hooked to the
other dude's dick. I know,dude, I was. I was hoping
they weren't gonna fucking show that,and they did. I was like,
(03:16):
ah, that's not me, don'tlook. I know, dude, I
I'm choked. It made it.I was like, man, I was,
and it did. Yeah. Fuckyeah, we made it. I
know. I can't think about it. There's no going back now, there's
no going back. I remember thatday. It was the first like first
it was the second day of thetest shoot, and it was like our
last night, and um, yeah, I got pretty crazy in that room.
(03:42):
Yeah, it was like it wasjust dusk outside. It was like
the end of the day, endof a crazy day. It was you
know what it was. It wasright after the musical chairs thing, and
we all got blown up. Yeah. I got in the middle, so
like I was like, I hadhurt my neck. I was all I
was like. And then all ofa sudden, you know, sandwiching our
dick down. I know, dude. I was like, I was like,
(04:04):
what the hell is going on here? This is like the real deal.
And then like I remember, likethey're like, keep going, keep
going. I didn't know how gnarlyto get and I they would just get
flatter and flattery. Did I comeon them? I didn't hurt at all?
Did you hurt? Mind hurt?When it pulled out? Like oh
yeah, yeah, on the wayout the different because I was like hitting
(04:26):
it down. It's just like youjust watch your dick get bigger, yeah,
like tight and tight and tightened.Yeah, it didn't really feel like
anything. You just no, itlooks cool though, You're watching your dick
get bigger. Incentive to keep tighteningit getting bigger and tightening, dude.
Yeah, yeah, I got likethat wide. It was like three wide
(04:46):
salamander or something. Yeah, itreminded me like a dead dick in a
jar or something. Yeah, yeah, I definitely had a no, yeah,
it was definitely dead dick. Yeah, but yeah, I was pretty
confident it would like it. Yeah, And I was like, yeah,
there's no bones in the boner unlessit's unless it's a boner and then you
(05:09):
got a like a blood bone.Yeah, we're one of the only animals
without a bone in there. I'mglad because mine would have broken so many
times. I'm sure years would havebeen fucking years, would have been like
casted up, like fifty times.For sure. They had to put a
plate in there. Oh my god, what if you had a metal plate
in your dick? That would befreaking horrific. A compound fracture or oh
(05:33):
my god, yeah you cooko dick. What if all the chicks like that
one, like, yeah, he'sgot a call down fracture, like they're
all psyched on it a little bit. Oh okay, enough dick talk.
But um no, come on,I know I love it. I was
actually I'm going back to dick took, but come on, did you get
(05:54):
one of these? Oh, dude, I haven't got one yet. I
wonder if dude, I know youknow what I was thinking. I thought
that was like a straight up dude, the thing is so awesome. Do
it? Do it? Yes?It does? It taste like plastic close.
That was Pawnys freaking trying to getright there. He did he got
(06:17):
got me, got me? Yeah, yeah, I think it went in.
I know I got an order one. Yes, yeah, I like
my law keep it right here.I wonder if like chicks use it.
I think everybody's been using it,Like how would you not use this?
But look at that you? Yeah, I know that's the first time that
(06:41):
in the back. See there's twoof them. There's like the tail is
like this is like a little that'slike the um no one knows it,
but that's your dick on the onthe tail. Yeah. We should put
it on that clamp. Oh mygod, that would be fun. I
should I should get Yeah, likea little lot black Sea. It's like
(07:05):
it's ready for it, like youshould you should do it. You should
do it and send it to thegroup message. That would be classic.
Hey guess what what? You're notgonna believe this? Did you know there's
a whole other movie that we havein the can that's coming out at one
point yeah, four point five,right, four point five? I don't
know what are they gonna call?Are they gonna call the jackass forever?
(07:26):
Point five? That's that's a mouthful. I think it's just gonna be four
point five. It's not a moviethough, just four point I just saw
you to say jack asses four pointfive. You don't you know we're talking
about Yeah, yeah, no,they know. It's just all the clips
that didn't make it, which I'mbaffled on, like all you're so dude,
I think it's gonna be better thanforever. It might be. That's
(07:47):
the thing I didn't I've never feltthis way about a point five before.
I know, dude, I haven'teither, because there's so much stuff up
we didn't use, and that's it'slike amazing, like amazing stuff. I
agree, but I can't wait foreveryone to see that. That's when we
I think that's when we shine onthat on that one. Yeah, do
you what do you think August willget released? Who knows? Joe?
(08:07):
You control that like you released?Right? Yeah? I try. I
have a little part of it.Like Knoxville asked me, you know,
he Tremaine asked me. He goesyeah, when you poopies when you want
this release, and I just lethim know it depends on the moon and
the tides and everything. So maybeit's got to be during the swell when
when there's swell, everyone's stoked.Everyone caught a bunch of waves. And
(08:30):
then we release it after a bigswell. We just wait for the swell
and then yeah, yeah, yeah, after a good swell sometimes the summer,
late summers. Yeah, like afterthe best swell of the summer in
what area? Everywhere? West coastof California. All right, yeah,
so we can score and then wecan release the movie. So but back
(08:52):
to that, back to that dayand that room. I remember, you're
what room, the one where we'redoing the penis freaking Oh yeah, yeah,
what was you how do you callit? Where you have that tool
and it goes smasher smash, Yeah, the dick smasher. But I remember
it was like my last last thingof the day and I was like,
(09:16):
I have to like get an earlyhere, and I remember like you're like
I have to pee, and youstarted peeing and freaking. I went down
and I opened my mouth and Iwas you're about to pee in my mouth?
But not still cutting pulled out.It was a long plush, the
god thing pitch shut on my peaand then you like try to sell that,
(09:37):
receive the end of it. Andthen your eyes looked out my eyes
and I'm like, yeah, thatwas that was our connection. Yeah,
they're dripping, dude. I waslike, maybe I went du bar,
maybe I went dar I'm sorry farenough, Yeah for real, for real,
I mean I had to. Ihad to show. Now I'm like
(10:00):
really dedicated, you know, yeah, yeah for sure. But um,
yeah, that was classic. Iwas That's when we became like brothers right
there. That's when became second Iknew. Yeah, yeah, eyes and
dicks, oh shit, locked diesand like digs. That's so true.
(10:26):
That should be the chapter for thatone. That should be the title.
No. Um, but yeah,that was freaking crazy. And then I
remember like that night we like came, I came down from the hook.
That's when I went to my hotelroom. I was like, this is
freaking awesome, and like I wastripping out in my hotel room by myself,
and I was like, all right, I got it, Like get
(10:48):
down there for dinner. And Iremember coming down there and you're all sitting
there and I was like super like, I don't know. It wasn't like
a shame, but I was justlike I felt weird, Like they all
saw my and like it's all youknow what I mean. But no,
that's how I felt. I wasnew to this, dude. This is
my first. No, this wasmy You guys were in the lobby before
(11:09):
dinner and we're all meeting up.We were thinking about it there either no,
no, I think about what we'regonna eat. And I know,
I know you guys now, Iknow the thought process now. But yeah,
and then and then you guys fuckedwith me. I came up and
like I went to shake you guys'shand, you got and everyone was like
did you wash your hands? Andthen I was like, yeah, I
(11:31):
know, I know. I waslike, well, I was like you
guys yea and not on the hand. Yeah, it was awesome. Though
it was awesome. I was like, dude, you guys are sucking classic
dude. But yeah, that wasfunny. Shit man, The fucking two
days test shoot was epic. Yeah. That was December twenty nineteen, that
(11:54):
crazy, crazy twenty two that's fuckingtwo years ago. I mean, we'll
tech you please more more years yeah, not quite in December will be three
years, but yeah more than twoyears left, three years, two point
three years. Yeah, we justwe just let them, you know,
let them. Wait. I didn'twant that one to come out for two
(12:15):
years. I didn't want that oneto come out. Yeah, we held
it, we had it. Yeah, like just just let it. Yeah,
just freaking live your lifestyle. Andthen what's it in your hand?
Um, I've puff bar that onethat was like, yeah, it's the
butt plug. It's it's a vibratortoo. It's a vibrated out. It
really vibably for the chicks. Dude, that's crazy with it. I know,
(12:39):
it's freaking horrible. It's addicting.Fuck. I had some great I
have some great news, but I'mgetting a chill on Discovery Plus. Oh
yeah, hell yeah, what's itcalled. It's called What Not to Do?
What Not to Do? Yeah,but not to do stuff? The
thing is about to do. Iknow it's gonna I know it's gonna be
(13:01):
like a thousand seasons, Dude,I'm gonna be like eighty film and Whatnot
to Do? Yeah, but yeah, it's me and um the guy from
MythBusters Tory Marcelli. Oh yeah,so me and yeah, congratulation. Thanks.
Yeah, Trip trip hooked it up. Trip got it from your jackass,
(13:22):
right yeah, Trip Trips the reasonI'm on Jackass. He's the man,
dude left it right. Wow,he's the help he ever. Look
at this thing. It's it's liquidweed. No way, wow, liquid
weed. I wish I could takea shot with you. I got it
(13:46):
chairs, I got a little joint. I gotta joints to that, chairs
to that chairs. Yeah, liquidweed. That thing's like a good dude,
you got a lot there. It'slike, yeah, he's got his
whole bottle. That's curage sitting inmy garage for this. Oh, dude,
(14:07):
you gotta take a shot before yougo surfing. Oh you got it
in the fridge too. Huh.That is awesome, dude, dude,
I bump. I can't. I'mnot gonna be able to surf. You
got the giant tent delivered, like, oh, I'm trying to lift it
like a dummy. And I poppeda fucking thing. You popped a blood
vessel or yeah, like open youknow the hernia, like your stomach all
(14:28):
open a little bit and your puckguts are like oh yeah, get out
it hurts. It didn't hurt it. It feel like weird, feel like
don't kicked you in the nuts.I hope you get better, dude,
because we need a surfing skate.I just got a new surfboard, but
I haven't got it. Yeah.I was gonna pick it up soon down
south an album company. H albumalbum surf? Where there from sant Clemente,
(14:50):
Oh, sick album surf? Iprobably probably. I was all excited
to pick it up and then like, I can't surf for a I'll probably
lag on that. Well, youcome pick it up and there's waves and
we'll go serve. Well, yeah, we'll go straight to lowers and just
snake everyone. I don't know whatthat was, that trestles or something.
(15:11):
Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, so many. Well,
it's all right, I'll freak him. I'll tell everyone to get out of
the way, eating bags, eatingby a shark. I heard you really
got this bit by a seagull?Is that true? Yeah? Yeah,
I was a seagull. Yeah,yeah, I knew it. Yeah,
we try to dude. Photoshops photoshopseverything, man, photoshop works really good.
(15:37):
Oh dude, I I don't forgotmy lighter. Huh damn, I
got Can I use it working?Yeah? Got it? Like my computer.
Loved that, like you by yourcomputer on virus off. I think
(15:58):
is say, oh dude, thoseare freaking they're paper stickers. I think,
yeah, yeah they're not. Iwish they made I wish they didn't
make the paper ones. But theyare good for everything. I put them
all over my town. Yeah,they're everywhere. I put them everywhere.
Let people know. Yeah, casethey were worring if caisse, they were
wondering if the gats forever with aheart for the vat. Yeah. How's
(16:22):
your Valentine's Day? Was the daybefore is my wife's birthday, So we're
pretty much rage that day. NiceSunday while everyone else is watching sports,
we were we were getting romantic nice. Hell yeah. Yeah. I was
coming home from Vegas on Valentine's Day. Yeah, all right, good for
(16:47):
a year. Yeah, it wasfun. I had my Valentine's Day getting
headies all the way home from Vegas. Jesus fucking Christ. Poopies, all
right, it's great, Yeah,poopies. All right? What Mike says,
(17:07):
Dave, I looked the thing.It's Mike says, David, you're
sa straw Hat, So that's mymedia company. You know what it reminds
me of is when I was akid, and uh here in Minor County,
the local um pizza places were calledstraw Hat Pizza. I don't know
how bigger chain it was. Itcould be other places I've ever heard of
it straw Hat Pizza, and uhso they like the game. So it's
(17:29):
just a place called stra Happizza andthey had That was the first place I
ever saw a pac Man video game. They first came out with pac Man.
They didn't have it all dialed inso you could like you could like
unscrew the knob, so we wouldunscrew it and then put it in the
salad bar with the with the cherrytomatoes. Fuck can we take a cherry
(17:52):
tomato in? And then slamming ontothe video shot the fun and then we
watched at all capitals are casual.We were like twelve years old. Someone
would come by and put a quarterin. Why are they just squeezed the
cherry tomato? They're like, what'tthe Oh my god, a stickering in
the corner and then what is geniusdown? And we see the person that
(18:14):
would go to the salad bar andthey go, I'm gonna have this big
old tomato and they put them.Fucking Yeah, he controlled nobby their staff.
Dude, like two times or so. I didn't even actually grab it,
but ratis double frank ever, Ohmy god, that is genius.
That is fucking dude. I don'tdrop hat pizza. I'll never forget it.
Dude, that's so fucking classic.Then, dude, how did you
(18:41):
even think of that one? That? Yeah, I just unscrew it.
Look I have it. Well,look it looks like cherry tomatoes sting light
bulb. You know. Straw HatMedia is in no way associated with straw
Hat Pizza, but if they arelistening to this, we are always looking
for sponsorship opportunities. Yeah, dude, Like growing up as a surf grum,
we're definitely doing some fucked up shipto all the tourists or the people
(19:03):
that the adults, you know.Yeah, but yeah, we hated the
adults. We used to do wherewould go to either side of the road
when a card has come, andthen we would both lean back to you,
one on one side the road,ones on the other, and you'd
lean back like you have a ropethat you're oh y yeah, yeah,
yeah, we didn't even have anything. Yeah, I mean people would slay
(19:25):
like what anything? Oh dude,dude, that's so it's do you have
you ever done the duct tape onthe road? No, what do you
do with that? So you doa big you do a strip of duct
tape um where they're tired, wheretheir tire goes on the road and then
it fucking sticks in their tire andthen starts flapping on their tire like it's
a flat tire. So they pullover and they'd fucking duct tape all of
(19:48):
them. Yeah, that was agood one. We love doing that one,
dude, We love doing that.We were at the beach all day,
right next to Coast Highway. That'sall we did all day. Yeah,
we had all kinds of ship,but we were bad way to throw
a bunch of lemon orchards nearby.We'd always throw the lemons in the cars
and and hope they chase this throughthe lemon trees. Yeah, because we
(20:14):
knew all the secrets for sure,let me get me like hell yeah,
come so good. And then behindneighborhoods too, we had all these things
called did you have to like jumpover, you know, so we would
have a mean dog in their backyardand you know just how to run where
you wouldn't get it. And Ihope they person chase you and maybe the
dogs getting them and okay, they'reawesome. There's a lot of different things.
(20:38):
Uh, that's funny. Yeah,Tear Trials of the Tear Trials of
Camario Tara Shells a Camarillo. Yeahyeah. Founded by Larry bord a lot,
Larry bard a lot. Yeahs.He wasn't too stoked on you guys,
was he. No, No,Larry Bordelot was my friend who he
was the way always He created thetear like here's the way we go.
(21:00):
No way used it like the worsttrailer you could take through people's yards and
everything to get chased by you.As you're being chased, you lure someone
off the road to chase you downa carrot trail. And then we got
cars. This is the first thingwe did with cards. We see how
many how many front laws we coulddrive through a row shot up? Yeah,
(21:21):
like you could get through alive.Don't care about the bushes and share
yeah yeah, if do you guys? Do you guys know a horrible behavior.
But I don't know for some reasonwhere we were like sixteen years old.
Yeah, I mean that. Backthen, there's no security cameras or
cell phones. No one had akind of way to record anything. They're
(21:41):
like, I'm gonna take a pictureof you. Then I'm gonna go down
to this photo man. In aweek when I get my phone back,
I'm gonna find out, you know, no one. Yeah, yeah,
you can't. There's no way ofgetting caught. Dude. I wish I
live back in that way is toget caught, but you not not as
easy today. It would be likeit would be like, I, oh,
you'res son was at my freaking wasI saw your son running through my
(22:03):
yard the other night. Yeah,you got your son was making loud noise
with all his friends there to night. I don't know what they're doing,
but they're over there taking a shipin the freaking lawn. Uh, dude,
I've done the um the shit doggiedoor, the fucking fire out the
bag roll. It went horribly.I did it to the wrong person,
(22:30):
bro, I did it to thewrong person. Right person to do it,
you know, an old lady oran old man, or like someone
that doesn't have a gun and furtherleg or something like because she was like
stomping on fire. Each Yeah,I don't know. I thought we were
(22:51):
like I thought I was like BillyMadison, you know you are. I
really wasn't. And then so wedid that, and we're hiding in the
bushes. We light the bag onfire. We're lighting in the bushes,
and then the guy comes out andhe like puts it out with like water
and then he like sweeps it offto his lawn. He gets a broom
(23:11):
sweeps it out. But I wasrunning and my fucking shoes fell off through
the ice plant, so he nojust one. So he sees the shoe
and then he sees he fucking hearsus because we fucking can't stop laughing.
So we're fucking laughing our guts off, and he hears us. And we're
(23:33):
behind this dumpster on the other sideof the street in the apartment complex dumpster,
like hiding behind the wall, andhe fucking sees us, and he
fucking we tried running and he fuckinggot us, and he got me.
He fucking got me because I waslike trying to grab my shoe from him
too, because I went in myshoe back. So I was like trying
to grab my shoe. Bro,I couldn't, dude, I only had
(23:56):
one pair of shoes. I'm not. We had to go hang out with
chicks that night. It was likethe surf shop party or some shit,
and held in the tails. You'remany bow so he yeah, but fucking
he he got me, dude.He grabbed me by the bat fing,
pulls me back, and then hetakes me hostage. He takes me hostage
(24:18):
into his his apartment and then yeah, but before he took me hostage,
he put me in his car.So he grabbed me, put me in
his car, and then yeah,so sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.
I'm getting ahead of myself. Sothis guy puts me in No,
it turns out turns out yeah,he was gnarly dude, So he puts
(24:42):
me in the car. But hetold my friends. He goes, if
you guys don't come over here rightnow, I'm gonna take your friend in
the desert and kill him. Sodude, I'm tripping. I'm like,
guys, hell here where is he'ssaying that to them? From? Where?
Like there? They ran away.They're like four twenty yards away,
like thirty yards away. Yeah,people here, it's yeah, he don't
(25:03):
give a fuck. Wow, hewas pissed. He was pissed because the
Grams got him the fuckings. Heknows about the rats, he knows about
us carlsbad rats. So like hefreaking grabbed me. Of course I'm the
one who gets caught. I'm alwaysthe one who gets caught. And he
puts me in the trunk, andhe shuts the trunk, and then he
goes around the block like a bunchof times, and he fucking comes back
(25:26):
and fucking because actually before he putme in the trunk, he goes,
you guys better come over here.Also, I'm gonna, you know,
take him to the desert and killhim. So my boys run into the
surf shop and tell the older guysat the surf shop. Yeah. Yeah,
So the boys go to the surfshop. My boys go to the
surf shop and fucking tell the older, older guys what happened. They got
(25:48):
poopies. Freaking this guy's got poopies. So the guy drives me back to
his house because we're like probably likethree blocks from the surf shop, two
blocks super close. So the guydrives me back to his house, puts
me in the house, and he'sgot a fake gun, but at the
time I thought it was a realgun. Who is this guy's the latest
choice is to deal with this.He's like, I'll just put him like
(26:11):
yeah, he was like he was, he was just like out. Yeah,
he was good, dude, We'rewe're tripping, dude. I was
tripping. I was like, you'refucking crazy, dude. And then he
held me hostage in his house.And then the boys showed up knocking on
the door with baseball bats and thenso and then I'm like, dude,
(26:33):
he's like and then he goes,no, he goes, tell your boys
to back off. Tell your boysto back off right now. So I
go, okay, boys back off, back off. Like he's gonna let
me out, and fucking dude thathe opens the door and the older guys
go Zach and they fucking knew theguy, and they go, oh,
what's up. Oh you're fucking withpoopies. Yeah, And the guy goes,
(26:56):
yeah, I'm just fucking with poopies. He didn't know my name was
Poopies. But he's like, yeah, I'm just fucking with him. And
the and everyone's like, oh,all happy. I don't think so,
but he knew someone, sorry,because when he got around his brows,
he had to act kind of morenormal. Yeah. Yeah, because the
boys shot like older dudes, likethey're like thirty five, maybe like thirty,
and I was only like fucking maybelike nineteen twenty twenty one. But
(27:21):
that's what the story was from.Yeah, I think so, maybe eighteen.
I god, damn it, Ithought you were thirteenth at most.
Maybe it was. No, I'mpretty sure. Sorry, I'm pretty sure
you were like eight or nineteen.Light and ship on fire on people's doorge
steps. Age is just a number. How old were you when we when
(27:42):
we started Jackass Forever? I waslike thirteen going into fourteen. How old
are you when we started filming themovie Jackass Forever? Oh, I was
thirty three? Thirty three? Thatwas the best younger first started Jackass.
I was thirty. No, weird, it's a weird time to start something
in our pretty but I know,right, I think it's just super stupid,
(28:04):
extra stupid. Yeah, it's prettytrippy though. Yeah, it's pretty
weird. Dude, it's weird.I love doing it though, But yeah,
that was this ship bag story.And then so that was at the
surf shop. We had so manygood times at the surf shop. Yeah,
I used to hang out as likea surfing skate shop, our dubed
(28:25):
surf shop. And then yeah,all the skate shots. It's so fun
to just when your kid just justskate and then just when it's too hot
outside or whatever, just kicking inthe shop there on video. Yeah,
originally you're from Missouri. Oh Missouri. Yeah, but before Missouri, I
was a I was a riverside valleygrum. Oh really, yeah, I
didn't really know what I wanted todo. Like it was kind of weird.
(28:48):
I don't know. I was anadhdd out. Like my parents were
like trying to figure out what waswrong with me, and like I was
like jumping from desk to desk,like just beat Mayhem. Dude, I
was freaking Mayhem. I used tohave a leash and ship dude, a
rainbow leash, I remember, andfucking most craziest kid. Yeah, Rainbow
(29:11):
one. It was. It waspretty freaking sick. We realized this is
the third time in three episodes thatPoopies has brought up the rainbow leash.
Getting used to it because this storywill most likely be repeated a lot.
But yeah, so Redlands and thenmy mom split up and remarried to my
step dad, Scott, which is, uh, he's I'm so grateful for
him because he takes care of mymom and and um yeah, she has
(29:34):
a lot of like health problems andstuff. So he's there to take care
of her. So that's like becauseif he wasn't there, I would have
to be there, and then Iwouldn't be here, you know. Family
first, But so very grateful forhim. But Missouri for from third grade
to eighth grade because I moved toMissouri and I was in fourth grade.
But the age different there is different, the age school, the school age
(29:59):
difference. Oh you know, howto fucking I started talking about school,
I started sucking, having flashbacks,um vision, Yeah, the grade system
wasn't wasn't like California was. SoI showed up and I was showed up
there and I was in fourth grade. Then they put me back to third
grade. Yeah, so I waslike, no way. So now I'm
(30:22):
a third grader and now, likemy reputations just like blowing out of the
water because they're like, why didyou go back to third grade. I
was like, I don't know,like the age school difference, like yeah,
no way, you're just stupid orsome ship. But oh, it
was a whole different crowd of people, right, the whole different. Yeah.
So I moved to Missouri and Imade all these friends in fourth grade
(30:44):
and they loved me, and itwas sick. And then no, and
when I went to fourth grade inMissouri, it was sick. I was
killing it. I fucking had friends. And then they go, oh,
you need to go back to thirdgrade, and I was like what,
So I go back the way late. He had already been in Yeah,
I was already been in fourth grade. And they're like, go, oh,
no, he needs to go back, and I was like, no
(31:07):
way, dude. So now Iwent back to third grade. Third grade
sucked. I fucking sucked. Thethird graders sucked. And then I'd see
all my fourth grade friends like Iwish I was in fourth grade. So
from right then, I like hatedschool. I was like fuck school,
dude, Like they just put meback in grade your kid, like devastate
for real, dude. Now Ihave to make new friends and now I'm
(31:30):
in third grade. The next thingyou know, I'm getting swung by my
hair and my feet and they're swingingme and my brother comes out. My
brother was in sixth grade. Mybrother comes out. It was out recess
and he comes out for recess,sees this and beats the ship out of
these kids. These Yeah anybody,Yeah for a bigger guy, you're older,
and you go to the younger.I was the same size because I
(31:53):
was little, okay, So yeah, now I got the third graders was
punking my ass. So yeah,school, I hated fucking school, dude.
But yeah, but you gotta doYou gotta do it. You gotta
go to school. And yeah,you gotta go to school. You gotta
do it. Something you gotta do. It made me stronger as a human
(32:14):
though, you know, like goingthrough all that, you know, because
now part of a lot of it'sjust the social interaction at school, you
know. Yeah, it was weird. A lot of people online now,
I don't know, I don't knowknow I was. I was just like
I're forced to be there to dealwith stuff, show how life really is.
Yeah. Maybe I was like totwo like I don't know, interactive
(32:36):
or something. I don't know.Maybe I was too two socials, you
know, because I was just like, oh, you know, fuck,
you want to play? You wantto play? I just wanted to play,
you know what I mean? AndI people think people, the kids
probably seen that, like, ohthis kid fucking just wants to play all
day. Let's fuck with him,you know, or some shit, I
don't know, kids for some schoolwork. I don't want to play,
(32:59):
dude, kids or not any Listen, they listened to their teacher. He
didn't. You're the fourth grade teachers, just get this kid out of my
class right back in third grade.Yeah. It's like yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah, overhim too. And the teachers like teachers
like, hey, kids, grabhim by the hair and sweet around,
(33:21):
think of him. Yeah, I'llget fired if I do it. You
do it for real, real,I'll give you all by the hair every
reset. Oh dude, for real, dude. It was fucking classic.
But that was the That was actuallythe school that Preston went to in Missouri.
(33:42):
That is just I tell that storyall the time. I'm like,
you know, two of the peopleon Jackass or from the exact same place,
and you'll never get who it is. It's you in Preston, and
didn't both your dad's work at thesame dynamite factory or something. Yeah,
the same um dynamite factory. Yeah, my step god still works though.
Both our dads worked the same dynamiteSo weird. Who works on dynamite factory?
(34:09):
Like, yeah, I mean Press'sdad with the big every day.
Yeah he's been doing it for liketwenty years. Dude. It's not the
same ship every day. Imagine that. I know, Dude, I like,
I like, put the gunpoper intothe big red thing, stuff it
(34:30):
down, put the fuse in,put the cap on. No, I
don't think it's like that. Helike a couple of him a blown up
that cartoon blown up. Look,it was like, No, I don't
think it's like that. I thinkit's more of just like I think it's
more of him like driving a golfcart around. It's all underground, giant
(34:53):
and yeah yeah yeah, explosions goingoff behind him and hit Yeah. No,
but yeah, it's crazy, thedyno factor. He's actually all underground.
It's all like dude, it's alla granite or limestone. It's all
(35:14):
limestone. So they used the limestoneto make the dynamite. It's a huge.
It's a huge, underground fucking facility. Dude, you would trip.
I've been down there. It's fuckingcrazy. When people have a strong firecracker,
they're always like quarters dynamite. Everyonealways says that, you know,
like a really big firecracker, it'sa quarterstick dynamite. Like what the fuck
(35:36):
is right, dynamite will fucking blowup the mountain. Yeah, that shit's
fucking hard. We should test,we should find out. I'm jane.
Yeah. So it's a big thingon the internet about the this whale that
had been beached, and it waslike thinking of the beach organ So they're
like they fell a dynamite under itto blow it up. That was their
(35:57):
pollution. It was like, yeah, so you see that video, it's
the best too. Yeah, blowas well. Boo, it blows up
and it's just fucking people are gettingcrushed. Said may It was just so
good, oh dude. And there'slike there's people trying to like take pictures
of it and ship too, andthey're way they're like way too close.
It all goes to, yeah,just just so much dynamite. They blew
(36:20):
the fuck out of that fucking whaleeverywhere, just ruined everything. For everybody
that's fucked up they should like atleast they should at least like take like
go bury it somewhere, dude,or something that's not a proper burial for
a while. Bro, you gottalook it up. The guys like,
yeah, we've tried this, wetried that, and that blow it up.
I'm all about proper burials. That'snot a proper burial. It was
(36:44):
sneaking up the whole community. That'swhat they're trying to get rid of the
smell of it. That was theproblem. There were were just like having
fun, like, hey, let'sblow it up. They're like just trying
to get rid of it. Okay, yeah, fuck I just I will,
I will. I just. Ihate seeing wells get blown up,
dude, I don't like either.But it was dead, and the joke
(37:04):
was on the people really because ohyeah, people, I don't even know
who am I died? I don'tknow. And then and then it's and
then it's then then it just sitsthere and just rots and stinks the whole
community. Yeah. Yeah, itwas still just everywhere. Your kids are
just eating well, fucking cark isfrom the fucking sand. I was at
the beach with my friend a fewyears ago, and it dogged a big
whale carcass and his dog ran andstarted like like drolling around in the middle
(37:29):
of it, like it was insidethe whale, just like you know,
like a dog will rubbits head onthe grass and stuff. I was doing
that inside the whale, and thenmy friends like, yeah, there,
you get out there. You gotit out, Like we had to get
put the dog in the car withus, Yeah, trying to get it.
(37:49):
Didn't want to go on the ocenand just wanted to go so like
we couldn't even get it to likerin saft just just just covered it and
rotten whales. Worst thing I eversmelled, except once I boiled a plican's
head that stuck really bad. Whatthe fuck was I just wanted I thought
maybe if I boiled. I hadthis outdoor boiler thing. Yeah, but
it was so steaky to turn itoff. I was just vomiting. Are
(38:21):
you gonna eat it? Are yougonna eat it? I kept it for
a couple of years, it was, but finally a dog came over in
and grabbed it. No way,shoot it all up, But I had
dude, that dog was probably sostoked. Yeah, yeah, he was
stuck. I was super bumped.I bet dude, that's fucked you have
it for two years. That smellwas because it was already a rotten skull,
(38:45):
you know, already nasty, zombified. Legend. Dude. You're such
a legend, dude. I wishwe can talk about more. We get
talked for a freaking out hours andhours. We'll come back on next time.
Yeah, you are a leegin.Thank you so much for daring.
(39:06):
I want to I want to comeserve with you when you're um, when
you're growing. Let I got Igot a little fun growin. If you're
right now, we'll stop jacking offand freaking heal that thing. Oh okay,
now I'll get right on that allright. Queer later, bro,
Thank you for joining us for anotherdoozy of an episode of The Shittiest Podcast
(39:29):
with Poopies. We'll see you backhere next week and until then, stay
shorty. The Shittiest Podcast is producedby the World's Worst People, Tyler Nielsen,
Brian Tillotson, Frank Driscoll and narratedby Me the Narrator. Special thanks
to the straw Hot Team
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