Ryan Long

This week Poopies is joined by Ryan Long, Head of Video at The Hard Times and host of several TV shows including Crown the Town, Ryan Long is Challenged, and he’ll be a main headliner at this year’s Skankfest 2023!

He also hosts THE BOYSCAST podcast with Danny Polishchuk

Will Poops and Ryan hit it off as they usually do considering Ryan’s previous run-ins with the Jackass crew?

Are there other new shows in development?

And what’s with that rando that walked through the set?

Find out this week!

This episode is sponsored to you by:

• Manscaped use promo code POOPIES
• MyBookie enter promo code POOPIES
• Jerkmate use promo code POOPIES
• BlewChew use promo code POOPIES

Follow Ryan Long on all socials:

• Instagram:
• Facebook:
• Twitter:
• The BOYSCAST:

Find out more about Skankfest:


From Straw Hut Media

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
Straw media. Oh that was nothing. Wait till you get to my truck.
I don't want it. I don'twant it. Maybe you'll shit your
pants. Yeah, dude, I'mtoo tired. Dude. I stopped talking
two hours a night, like twonights in a row. Dude, I've
learned. When I came here today, I was like standing and I was
just like, wait a second,I think I sit. I sat down.
I was like, Oh, that'swhat's up. So you're like,

(00:21):
oh, you'd like, did likeget up there? I'm like nah,
You're like yeah, yeah, I'mlike, fuck, dude, there's three
naked chicks wrapping soap on each other. All right, Welcome back to the
Shittiest Podcast ever. Um. Thisis kind of like a raw audition.
I'd say, um, exclusive audition. I don't know. They said they
shot it all out of sequence.I don't know. I fucking he was

(00:43):
on drugs. He was off thedrugs. I can't hi. So last
time on the Shittiest Podcast with poopies. So yeah, last time was about
six months ago. What happened?We'll get back to that in about two
and tire episodes. Oh well,okay, I guess that crept up quick.
So basically what happened was Poops didhave that rock bottom moment. We're

(01:07):
all cheering them on in a sobrietyjourney, but before that he was all
sorts of sauced up and cranked outa ship. Here's one of those interviews
before life events, verbal ass whippingsand other aspects came to light before he
started his self reflection and sobriety journey. So get what you need and get
ready for his interview with Ryan Long. Ryan Long, I'd have to look

(01:29):
that up. Oh actually comes froma long history of hosting radio and TV
shows based on the Greater Toronto area. I guess it's not all just hockey
free, healthcare and ketchup ships upthere. You know Pooh Team Poopy's team.
That's a bad joke. He's nowhad a video at the Hard Times.
Think I've heard of them. Idon't they like the the onion for
gen X burnouts, You know theones that want to hit up CBGB's still

(01:53):
living in the punk era days,but walk around like disgruntled Disney adults.
Now, yeah, maybe Ryan cantell us more. Take it away.
Hey you want a sandwich? Fuck? Yeah, I want a sandwich.
That's a small opportunity. You know, I've I've walked in the random houses

(02:14):
before then passed out. Yeah,that's how you get shot. The shittiest
podcast in the world. We gotRyan long Cock over here, skang fast
ripping it. Yeah, dude,this is shredding all day. Yeah he's

(02:34):
hugging, says Shed and yeah we'vebeen how many beers deep are you?
Um, I'd say probably like six. No, it's not too bad,
not too bad. I gotta keepit maintained, you know. You know,
the move is you kind of yougo is if if like I slept
two hours, then you go.I did like maybe three things today,
like two shows, a couple ofpodcasts, and then I was like,
I'm gonna go tell nine. Andthen that's when I was like, I'm

(02:57):
fading. And then now I'm gonnahave to like crank beers to like give
myself another four hours to get throughthe next few shows. Well, when
you're having fun, it kind ofgoes by fast, you know, all
of a sudden, it's like slippingby and you're like you're like, fuck,
all of a sudden, it's twelve, and then it's two, and
then it was five. Dude.I then you're like five and then like
it's like all the stragglers, You'relike the worst people ever are out like
trying to just like come up onsomething, and that the like five am

(03:21):
Casinos squad. Do you look aroundyou probably in right now you're like,
yeah, hey, that's the bestfeeling, though you're like as guys right
now. There was some like abunch of dudes. They were kind of
you know, fans of the likefrom the show, from the shows,
and uh. I went to thetable and they were all kind of like,
let's go, you know what Imean. I was getting the five.
Everyone's like grabbing up, but Istraight up just I had a wand

(03:43):
of like cash from merchants, soI just put two hundred bucks down.
I go two hundred on red andthen I lost it. And then everyone
not everyone's like bummed because they wantme to win. And then I go
two hundred more on red and thenI went to hundred more on red and
then I won. That time Igo all right, I'm leaving. I
literally just lost two hundred bucks onetwo hundred bucks and then left. Yeah,
and then the worst, the worstis though when you lose that money
and you think you can win itback and you're like fuck it at M

(04:04):
I think I would have went athird and if I lost twice, I
might have done another. Dude,I was hot about six hundred. I
probably would have lost it all.But like, one of the odds of
you losing three times in a rowis what is that point five day and
point five It's like, yeah,the odds of you losing three times in
a row is almost like sixteen percentagefifteen, Like it's just not that high.

(04:24):
So I don't think that would havehappened. Do you play but playing
red black? Like straight up?Yeah, you gotta so you gotta wait
till there's like seven red, blackoutblack, Yeah, blackout drunk. You
can see seven red. Sure,but if you start, if you but
yeah, if you're just doing thatepisode, yeah, that's how you're trying
to get. It's like I'm tryingto get kind of scamming them, scamming
them, but more so if likeBlackjack, fum, but if you show

(04:46):
up Blackjack that rip, that's howyou get everyone yelling at you for taking
the wrong cards. It, dude, fuck it, the deal, he's
gotta hold your hand, fuck it. Let let him let him bitch,
you win the money. You don'twin the money when you're taking the wrong
cards, Like yo, gonna belike seventeen. You're like, I'm a
fucking hit. Everyone's like you can't. You're taking my card. Oh when
you come in when you joining card? Yeah yeah, you know she's not

(05:08):
supposed to do that blackjack. No, So they just yet. I think,
I like, roulette, are youbig ambler? If you you strike
me as a dude that like,lets it ride, I let it ride,
Dude. I'll come back for revengeand then lose it and then strike
back again, like World War twoand I'm like world War five and then

(05:29):
I'm desperate and I'll break even andI'm out sure and then I'm like,
fuck, I need gas money,So then like, don't break even.
I feel like, especially if youhad like a squad hyping you up,
they could get you to probably dude, yeah you need some like some like
yeah yeah they get two nuts.You know, I'm like, no,
fuck off, like they try to. Like the people around you, you

(05:54):
ought to be careful who you playwith two because they get you all excited,
you know, especially if you're noyou're making footage and Ship. Dude.
Never take a chip from anyone,dude. They'll start handing you chips.
You're like, no, like,give you guy. What happens?
I don't know. Nothing's for free. You know, you might like fucking
know, yeah, you might seethat guy until the next day. You
know, he's like, dude,I lost all my money. Can you

(06:14):
give me an uber or something?You know, You're like, I don't
want to fuck with you right now. Yeah, I agreed. I probably
know. I was the only timeI would take some chips. If a
guy one like some huge jackpot andhe's like a little yeah, I have
throwing him around. I'm guilty ofthat for you. Sure you found when
they start throwing them around, youget one. Then you go over,
put a hat on, mustache,chip, come back the way around.

(06:34):
They say they're watching everything. Theysaid, I just got busted with my
go cart out in the parking lot. They said they were watching me and
Ship. You got a go cardhere, dude, you want to ride
it. It's sick Tony Hawk Roadat Last podcast, Dude. The thing
goes fucking fast. I just boughtit because I don't know. I was
bored and I need something to fuckingYeah, I don't mean you struck me

(06:56):
to do this, like in allthe shight, Yeah, and somehow I
felt on this like private track andRancho Santa Fe this kid had. Do
you have a van? Do youguys have a van here or something like
that? Yeah, we got avan. We got a van from like
Outpost Vans, Right, So you'rejust like ripping around making videos in the
van, fucking launched out in thebed and my go carts in the bed
and just sucking sleeps there and Isleep on the couch and I do watch
like you you're like Danny Mullen likethat dude. Yeah, a lot of

(07:20):
those dudes, they are like kindof just that guy. Danny Dunkin's like
that too, right, Danny Schools. Yeah, like those guys that kind
of maybe it's a little old schooljackazzy but a little more random, just
like kind of rocking around making videosjust like fucking shit up. Because I
used to do a lot of thisstuff when I was younger, and a
part of me like nowadays I watchthat stuff and I do get a little

(07:40):
like nostalgic of like like it bringsto the day. Yeah, yeah,
Yeah, one of my fucking sittinghere jokes. Yeah, Josh, I
want to go back to the fuckingthe like the basics of getting kicked out
of malls, you know, likethrowing, throwing could get paint and a

(08:01):
friend kicking people in the nuts.I'm here like, uh, what would
be a good tank for this shot? Like a nerd. Hey, if
you ever want to come get crazyto let me know. Yeah, I
got I got dick in public.Yeah, back to the basings. Yeah,
did you do that last night?You know what's funny? I do.
I do a lot like Wild StreetShip, But yeah, I see

(08:24):
that, dude, that's fucking funny. How is the guy the little black
guy that fucking had to ask theother dude? Like I forgot what the
question? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, the fake titty one was funny as
fund dude. I remember I wantyour shit, thanks, bro. You
know what's funny though, I rememberum when I was so, I was
like big, I love I lovelike Tom Green and shit like that,
like, yeah, Tom Green's thebest. Just like if you just stop

(08:46):
like talking and it's like annoying thefuck out of someone, it's like so
funny because they can't get away becausethey're waiting in line somewhere. No.
I love like on the street Gassmasters, fucking It's really funny. Yeah,
there's there's like so many different likea lot of people just do steer like
normal stuff. But it's like thatkind of like putting people in like a

(09:07):
game that they don't know they're in, like didn't an uncomfortable position, kind
of didn't no matter what they lose, but just the best reaction. I
think. You know, I wasso into that ship and I was huge
into like making I used to dothese DVDs and but Stevo brought me to
open for him. And I actuallywas telling him this yesterday because like I
remember he came up on the showand he we had this whole TV show

(09:28):
and he did a little he canfind it on the internet, but he
did a little clip for my TVshow, Cable Access show in Canada,
and I was going and he waslike, oh, because we do the
same stuff and blah blah, andhe was like, Okay, we'll come
up and then you kick him inthe nuts and I'll fuck Q nuts and
I and I'm like, you know, I don't really like do that stuff.
I'm more of like a getting kickedout of place this guy and then
he was like, and I'm gonnaput uh fire on my hair and I'm

(09:50):
gonna put you put gasoline, rememberthem breathe it off. I'm like,
show and I did it. Butat the time, I'm like, it
was like I don't fucking swim withsharks. I like bug fucking people out
of stores. Yeah. Yeah,fuck charts, dude, when was that?
When was that? Like I wouldsay, honestly, probably twelve thirteen,

(10:11):
am like a kid. When Iwas a kid, I probably would
have been like twenty four. Yeah, yeah, that's for sure. Gram
drama age A grams a kid.Yeah, you don't know this slang GRAMA

(10:31):
age Santa Barbara has its own It'slike Sana San Diego has its own slang
though you guys speak to. Yeah, it's like North County, San Diego
like beach shit. But like GRAMAis like, I don't know, if
you grow up next to the beacha, GRAMA is like a person younger
than you. Okay, So Isay there's the next generation like below us
like the GRAMS. You know.Yeah, So like you were like,

(10:52):
I don't know, it's kind ofwhere like say if you're older than someone,
then you can call him a gramOkay, you know what, you
can call me a Graham one yearolder. Yeah. Yeah. So it's
just like that's a bit of atotem pole, you know. It's like
the totem pole, like you gottalike know where you you fit in.
You know, do you feel likeyou could do as crazy shit as you

(11:13):
did when you're nineteen? It soundslike you're still doing pretty wild shit.
I was, but like I wasjust doing it drunk, and you know
what I mean, you have nowit's like doing it like when I'm sober
and shit, so it's like it'sa more professional level. You know.
Yo, I love it. That'sso funny though, You're just like you're
like, no, I'm not sober. It's just like I take a few
hours off drinking when I filmed.Yeah. Yeah, you know you have

(11:35):
dinner growing up? Yeah? Yeah, I'm fine with growing up, dude,
No, it sucks. You know. I started growing up when I
was like thirty three. After that, like thirty, I feel like the
spot right, and I didn't knowI was doing fucked up shooting I was
thirty dude. Yeah, I wasn'tgrowing up. Did you have anything at
thirty two that you're just like,we need to turn it thirty two and
then thirty three kind of rolled aroundand it kind of just like fucking kicked

(11:58):
in. Like I was like startedlike say no to shit. Yeah,
and I was like, why thefuck is why am I saying no to
this? And like I was like, fuck, I guess I'm growing up.
Ah. Yes, a great pointin words to live by. It
makes the difference between the night outwith the crew and waking up on a
random beach in Puertabay article all becauseyou were wearing the wrong shit. But
it was weird. Yeah, itwas a trip. But finally, example,

(12:22):
what's an example? Like something whereyou're just like, I don't know
if I want to do that rightnow, Like going out driving your truck
at twelve eight, like twelve twelvepm, like going to check the last
bar scene or something. You know, sure, next thing you know,
you're in a fight. You knowwhat. The best way to describe it
is like you get a little andyou go, yeah, I don't think
we probably need to find another spot. Yeah, this whole thing was pretty

(12:45):
good. I don't like you gokeep you don't need to keep them going,
Like after twelve o'clock, you canlet it. You don't have a
chick, it's like gonna be bad, you know, because everyone's trying to
find their chick, and like it'sa bunch of saseronne out in the bars
and ship and like nothing good happensafter time. If that's a perfect example
or something that's like yo, ifyou're twenty four or like Bran even like
let's say twenty two with the squadand you get into a fight, it

(13:09):
kind of is like pretty sick night, yea next morning, dude, did
you see that? Dude? Youfucking knocked him out? Like if you're
happened to him, you know,like where's Tony? You know? Ye?
Right? If you're thirty six andit's like, Yo, did I
get into a fistfight last night?Yeah, dude, it's bad. You
wake up and you're like, yo, like I gotta fucking apologize to people,
probably like oh yeah no, that'sthe worst dude. When you fucking

(13:31):
like you're like having a good timeand then you have like too too good
of a time. Yeah, andthen the next thing you know, it's
like you're like too happy, butlike you've made a fucking dumbass of yourself
that night. Now you can't.You don't want to be like late thirties
waking up like like saying sorry toyour friends. Yeah, who do I
gotta on your friend's couch. Stillyou're on your friends couch. Fuck,

(13:54):
dude. I've walked in the randomhouses before and past. Yeah. Yeah,
dude, that ship suck. Soyou get shot, bro, Maybe
not, maybe not in California,man state where people have Dude, people
are allowed to protect him from Canada. So you're from Canada. I fucking

(14:15):
love Canada, dude. Toronto,right, bro, So I went to
UM I went to the West WestCoast and yeah, you would like Toronto
and the East coast Vancouver or something. I went to the East coast too.
Yeah. I was in straight upfucking where we were fucking Montreal.
Yeah, we went to that.There's an awesome Yeah, there's a mall
and they have this like fake wavething sick and it was like fucking weird.

(14:37):
I was sponsored by body Glove atthe time for surfing, and like
body Glove flew us out there andlike put out put on this huge like
show for all the people. Dude, and then I had, dude,
I swear to god, Dude.We met these local local kids and they
picked us up from the airport.They had like six thirty packs of the
local beer and fucking like three fullgas tanks. And this is before you're

(14:58):
surfing. Yeah, and we're likewhat and my friend goes poopies. Don't
even think about it. I got, dude, what do you mean?
They got thirty third, like thirtypacks on the fucking love on the on
the wide, you know, andyou're like, gets the sabbage was got
so excited, dude, and thenthey're like so like Jamie was, we'd
film for this web series for redBull TV, and um, we'd travel

(15:18):
the world and stuff. So wewent to Canada and dude, I loved
it. I met those local kidsand when Jamie was doing his like changing
his wet suit or something, I'dbe like, hemia beer and I'd fucking
be chugging these beers with these localkids. And then all of a sudden
they broke out the gas tanks.Dude, and we lit this lake on
fire in Canada. Yeah, becausewe saw this log I don't know,

(15:39):
Yeah, oh, this was Vancouver. So we went Vancouver first. So
this is when Vancouver. You seemlike a Whistler, dude. I know,
I keep like Whistler. Like Ifeel like I was like the Whistlers
a human it's you, yeah forsure. Yeah yeah that's not bad.

(16:03):
I like those guys. No,yeah, they're cool as fuck. But
yeah, I've been the Whistler dude. There's a CD Capital of Canada.
Dude. I never got I didn't. I didn't get laid once there.
I was like, yeah, we'reon production life interesting. Yeah, I
had like bam, they're throwing itat you, dude. I mean,
especially because I feel like there's lotsof people there there. So if like

(16:23):
you came in and you're like,I'm the like a new guy, they've
already like fucked all. Like theyoperate like bartenders, you know what I
mean, Like they've already smashed eachother. Yeah. Yeah, it's like
I'm not even there. Yeah.So but if no, if I'm saying,
if you show up a new guy, it's like some new blood in
the ball. Oh yeah, theyget psyched. They get psyched. But
it's like, dude, I don'twant if you get psyched. Yeah,
I don't really like that ship.When everyone's all over me, Like,
hey, look, I'm like,dude, leave me alone. Like you

(16:45):
want to work for it, I'mlike underground, dude. I just like
to chill and like I work hard, you know, and like my worth
ethics like on point, Like ifyou need me to do something, I'm
gonna get it done, you know. But it's like I don't like all
the bullshit that comes with it,but a celebrity now, it's like fucking
you gotta deal with that shit.You know. It's kinds weird, dude.
You gotta be like nice and youknow, you're especially people that I'm

(17:07):
like super cool like with like andthey like, I don't know, just
third five. I don't know.It's weird, but people were like I
really appreciate you, you know,and I can feel that they're like saying
it's so real, you know,I can like feel it. I don't
know. No, it's also crazybecause like you're you're especially if you kind
of get popular doing wild stuff,it's kind of like you're so insanivis it
just too wild stuff? But youneed to figure out a way that you

(17:30):
can make your life work for yourself, and you know what I mean,
Yeah, you got to be like, yeah, you gotta have your morals,
you know, you look to haveyour morals, and you also have
to have like your shit together,you know. Yeah, you need to
have like some people being principle can'tjust be like yeah, people all just
do anything anytime like that that worksfor like a period, but like that's
what I did, Like, yeah, that that ends with you dead.

(17:51):
If you just go, I'll bethe guy that never says no forever.
It's like, yeah, I wasthat guy for sure. Yeah, you
definitely gotta like I know those guys. It's like I know a few of
those guys like weren't even on camera. I was like the guys like I'm
like, at least I'm making moneyfor and you go, yeah, you're
like that you know where he isnow in jail. No. Yeah.
They always like think it's like cool, you know, but it's like,

(18:12):
fuck, you can't do that yourwhole life, you know, because I
remember there's guys that State Beast Igrew up with, like down there like
juggling and shit with a tip jarand they'd like they'd fucking make good money,
but dude, it's just like fuckingthey're just like everyone hated The locals
hated the guy, but the touristsdidn't know him. So the tourist are
like, oh yeah, fucking sunsetjuggler. The guy was a coop.

(18:34):
You know, he didn't really takeof his daughter or shit, you know,
like the real deal, you know, like the real life of him
proper. He's a piece of shit. Yeah, and there's all these tourist
thing and he's like the local pieceof shit. Yeah, because it is
also you're just like probably move,you know, like if you're like yeah,
yeah, he's like you probably juggleon a different board. Yeah,

(18:56):
dude, you're like, nah,dude, I was your first. No,
you would fun with them, dude. I stole his tip jars so
many times. Oh yeah, dude, he'd fuck it. He hated me,
dude, because the boys would belike poops go stills tip jars.
I'd be like, fuck okay,and I'd skate by. I'd skate by
me like poom and still stip jarsand I'd kick his plastic ball down the
dirt hill and he'd be piste dude. But he was a coop. Dude.

(19:19):
He'd ask for like the tourists lighter. He's like, who's got a
lighter and then he's straight up jackall their lighters did to go do his
fucking fucked up drugs. Yeah,like, fuck this guy. But that
was just how it was because weheld it down at the beach, you
know, like anything that was sketchyor anything that was fucked up, like
we were like, you know,we're like beat it, dude, Like,
yeah, you were kind of alittle self policing, Yeah, for

(19:41):
sure, but that's what it waswhen we were drums. We just got
taught that from the older guys.But crumbs is insane. I like your
Canadians. Yeah, we're stugger inCanada. I was gonna say that one
that was fucking making me laugh atsomeone they proposed with their shirt off at

(20:07):
like a hockey game, you knowwhat I mean. And then we're loving
it and he goes fucking proposal withthe tarp off. Hey, tarp is
incredible. I've ember hearing that,but I forgot all about it. And
then we're loving has this for agood brank. We were just saying this
last night, doing it, goingto like a hockey game and doing the
proposal to the girl and then thegirl leaving, and it was actually the

(20:30):
proposal to the guy beside and thenlike you moved the girl away. Yeah,
that's a good little switcher Ruskins switcherki Yeah, fun little brank for
the for the TikTok. Yeah,dude, so weird in Canada. Where
do you live? No, Ilive in New York. Oh you're in
New York. No, but Ilive in Toronto. I be in New
York for three years. Sit close, Yeah, Toronto, New York.

(20:52):
Yeah, I don't know. Imean it was pandemic mostly so I've only
been back to Canada like a coupleof times. Really. Yeah. Yeah,
I mean I'm here now. I'mfucking American Patriot. Yeah, dude,
that's what's up. You got tofund something American. No, I'm
like, New York's the best placefor comedy in the world. I don't
even get close. Best club,Like, dude, my favorite comedy was
SNL when we had fucking Chris Farleywas the era and fucking San Farrell Dana

(21:18):
Carvey say, when they had thefucking at the fucking Nights of the Rocksbury
Mangle. Such a mangal dude era, Like when Sam he was one of
the radial guys that when I wasyoung, legit like Sandler. I liked
so much that he when he reallystarted having a streak of bad movies killed.

(21:38):
Yeah, you had like five orsix, but he had like a
seven or eight streak where it waslike they were doing good, but everyone
he was getting murdered by critics,everyone, right, And I would defend
him to the day, even Jackand Jill. I was like, nah,
you're wrong, Sandlers the fucking goat. Yeah, dude, to this
day to offend him so hard.Oh yeah, maybe we'll meet him one
day. Have you ever met him? No, But he comes around.

(22:00):
Apparently he is like around Toronto alot. He's like filming a movie right
now. Actually, my boys,he came by the car, Like my
there's this club called the Corner ComedyClub, small little club that I used
to do like every night, anduh, he apparently came by and he's
all like very high. You'd expecthim me. You know, he's got
the basketball shirts everything. And theguy who wins the clubs tell me this.
And he comes by and he's likehey, uh, they ran into

(22:22):
him and they're like if you wantto come by, and he comes by
and he's like, hey, howlong would the sets be like you know
it's and they're like, oh,we can put you on whatever he want.
He goes, oh, I don'twant to bump anyone like when like
he's all you could do whatever youwant, however much time you want.
Like yeah, he's just like superover the top, like, oh,
I'm not gonna change someone else's spot. He cares, he thinks about other

(22:44):
people super like oh yeah, whichis such a huge difference between certain comics
that are like, Hey, I'mcoming in late and you better open the
door and I'm going straight to thestage. Whoever was on is canceled and
I'm gonna do two Yeah. Yeah, that's like Chappelle or something that's like
a guy that yeah, I remember. I think the eighties like used to
have like real stories about right nowjust wipe the slaves like James. Yeah,

(23:06):
like some dude no, like EddieEddie Gren would be like and some
guy that you know it is hisbig opportunity that night. Yeah, like
they kill it though. That's whythey're the ogs or the legends, that's
why. But no, I thinkI think that there is I I'm probably
not like as over the top asstand there, but I do a very

(23:29):
have like that in my head oflike don't it's should okay if you show
up to a comedy club or thinkor anything in life. Same with like
meeting people that are your fans orwhatever. If you show up somewhere and
then you're like bump them and yougo, that's just ten people that you
just like create, say hi.If you don't say hi, you're a
kook. Yeah, and you createdlike eight people in the world that now
like have fucking hatred towards you.You know what I mean, that are
going to tell all people. It'slike same with like stay in the back

(23:52):
and just shut up. And ifyou get introduced and you're you're stoked.
Yeah, you know what I mean. I just don't want to create,
I think. Yeah, but ifyou're like if you're like pushing for it
too hard, like own to meand I'm one to me and them.
I don't think that that like doesa turnoff. You don't get it,
Like when people really want to meetyou, I feel like I do get
it, but I can like senseit. They're like fucking staring at me,

(24:14):
like faking for an hour. I'vebeen doing it. You sounds like
you've been in this India. LikeI've been doing entertainment stuff since I was
fucking seventeen, so like I feellike maybe there was times where I was
worse, but like I always thinkback to how I was about certain people,
like even like what we're saying,like Tom Greener, those guys like
how I was, So it's likeand how like how much it would have
bummed me out if they were adick to me? Like you know what,

(24:37):
for sure, I think of thatwhere you try to be like that
at the very least, be like, oh, what's up? That'll break
that'll break your heart? Yeah,dude, it would be like you know,
I would be like walks in ourset. Hey, grom fuck off,
that's what happens now. I justcreated a negative energy. Dude,
you walk around being addict to people. It's like that was a dick move.
Dude, just speaking of a dick. That was a dick. I

(24:59):
don't no that is. I don'tknow who that is either. Fucking guys
should have just fucking came in,sat down. No no, no for
real though, but yeah no,Because like I grew up surfing, so
I always idolize like the og likesurfers. You know who's the big surfers
that you would like fuck Andy Irons, Bruce Irons, Um Kelly Um,

(25:21):
Jamie O'Brien, Um, Chris Ward. There's like the hardcore ones that don't
give a fuck. A lot oflost writers, like lost surfboards, a
lot of those guys, they don'tgive a fuck. Yeah, I was
on like the core course side ofthings, Like I was not about Quicksilver,
Like, um, do you thinkcool or do you think he's not

(25:45):
cool? Oh? He's the manRob, He's so fucking cool. He's
the nicest guy ever. Dude.Sure he's super impression but he's so busy
yeah yeah, yeah, yeah,yeah, no he so yeah. Oh
dude he go suck yeah yeah yeah. He active, dude, he's that's
the energy he's got, dude.It's like positive, he's so positive.

(26:08):
He's funny, dude, He's verypositive. It's funny, like his like
content he posts like now because Ifollowed and I see things he distills everyone's
content. Well yeah, well,I mean that's kind with the show him.
No, but it's funny like whathe's transitioned into like entrepreneur guys,
so like it would be literally wentfrom you know, like skateboarding tricks to
his new content is like so whenyou're setting up a four oh one K,

(26:30):
but you are like it's like sofucking like business oriented, you know
what I mean. It's all it'sall like straight up like inside baseball financial
advice of howdah you know, likehow to leverage a mortgage? Like you
know what I mean, Like that'swhat it's a kicktok. He's smart though,
he's smart. It's just a funnylike yeah, he's into that ship.
Yeah. I just imagine like anyone, like I was, like real

(26:51):
estate people, do imagine if AdamSandler what we're talking about, you go
to his TikTok, you go,I wonder what Sandler's up to right now,
and he was like you know,choosing the right bank and yeah yeah
yeah, yeah yeah yeah, fromlike from going to like fucking seeing people
eat shit like dying to like ohyeah, take this stock market and do
this with it. Yeah, it'sjust strange. Yeah, he's he's getting
into the groove you know, ofthat of that lifestyle is like sure or

(27:15):
here, I mean listen, Iknow he gets the game the other way,
the game for those people. Dudewho has the most money. That's
what I mean. He might bea big game ship where it's like that's
that's all You're play that game.Yeah, play game. I don't know.
I'm not like who who has themost money type of guy. You
know, sounds like like who money? Who has the most fun? Is
the one who's winning? Yeah,you know, yeah, you have all

(27:38):
the money in the world and ifyou're not found, you know. I
kind of think of it more likefreedom. It's like a one way to
think. Oh dude, I givemyself the most freedom. Ever. I'm
surprised that I'm not like Jael andhave like two thousand they take it all
away. No, I don't takeit like two. Like the freedom is
like traffic like laws pretty much likedon't obey those at all. Yeah,

(28:00):
well I mean that. Yeah,so that's cool, as like I can
do that, Like that gives methe trafficking laws do not. Yeah,
we can do that. You know, it's easy with a jest SKEI can
do that with a seed um andTJ. We'll give you a little surf
lesson then drive you right over tothe Coronado. Yeah, just as they
say, some great things start somewhereand to Poopy's point that leads down the

(28:22):
slip we slope to a committing taxfrock, or so I've heard. When
we come back from our break,we'll jump into Poopy's warrant, where that
led to, and the return ofan unexpected guest. Welcome back to Tiny
Poops. Let's get back to Poopiesand Ryan's conversation. We'll answer the important

(28:45):
questions such as where did Poopy's arrestlead to, what was Ryan's thought process
creating several TV and radio shows,and what's with that one guy that pooped
in? I'm sorry, popped insilly me find Now that's a price too.
It's a big price though. It'scosting law. Have you ever been
to jail like one nic something Ihave? Yeah, I've done a couple

(29:07):
of I've done like maybe three orfour one night or dude, I did
three months, three months. Yeah, I got extradited from Hawaii. Oh,
come on conn air ship dude.Well fuck, dude, I was
at this party just starting the storywith well, fuck, that's how you
talk to the judge. That's sofunny, like you and like defending yourself.

(29:30):
Yeah, dude, you're like he'slike, please, refer to me
as you're on it ro This islike I say that because it happens a
lot. So I'm like, ohfuck, well fuck did happen? So
like how was happening? That's theCanadian version of that is where you go,
you know what story is that whenit starts with body, Yeah,
yeah, you know, you know, buddy party last night, wild body

(29:52):
fucking I was, yeah, Igot wild, well, the boys got
wild. I was just trying tolike defend myself a fight. No I
didn't not even a fight. Ohyeah, sick, not even a fight.
It was like it was like,okay, we have we're having a
party, right, my boys havinga party, right, a kager.
So it's a big deal. We'relike twenty five kagers with the ship.
I'm like twenty five. The boysare like twenty three twenty four and we're

(30:14):
having a kegar at my friend Dana'shouse. So it's a big deal.
We get up from pizza support,we got these hot cheeks coming over,
so everyone just got all weird becausechicks, you know, and it's like
the boys will get weird and overchicks though. That just happens, and
that before anyone came over that nightwe tapped the keg, you know,
with the boys, and we hadwe had the cheers and that cheers.
I go, hey, boys,don't throw me in the fucking pool tonight.

(30:37):
Don't throw him in the pool.And they go, why did you
even say that? You just gaveus the idea that's definitely what kind of
suits people up. Yeah, AndI was like, fuck, well,
I'm just saying, you know,because like I don't. I just got
brand new shoes, brand new teens, like I got my boy, you
know, I got I'm swagged out, like trying to get up some puss
tonight. And I was like,boys, just don't throw me in the
pool and don't call me poopies tonight. You know, I'll be psyched.

(31:00):
Did girls not like that name?No? They go, why are you
going poopies? And they go,oh, he shoot his pants. Sure,
you know the boys, yeah,and they like, they like me,
but they don't like my name.The name's holding me down. It
was holding me back a lot,dude. It's holding me back. So
like that's so funny, the ideaof you like in a therapist and like
you're realizing that the whole fucking problemis this nickname. I realized that like

(31:23):
sophomore year, and I dropped outbecause yeah, Like I was like,
yeah, dude, why am Inot getting chicks? Like everyone's getting chicks.
I'm like, I'm not because myname is Poopies. Because my friends
would introduce me as that too.I'm like, shut the fuck up.
So anyways, I'm at the poolparty now on. So I'm at the
pool party, right and everyone comesover. It's like twelve o'clock. Now

(31:45):
the boys are hammered. We're gettingfucking pretty ratley and fucking all of a
sudden, I get fucking they runme down, they chase me down,
they fucking point me out get Poopies. So then they grabbed my arms and
legs like this, wait, mycell phone, my cell phones in my

(32:05):
pocket, and all of a sudden, boom into the fucking pool with the
phone, with my phone, withmy brand new clothes I got from off
shore surf shop that I fucking ohgot overcharged for. And I was like,
grum, dude twenty five, likeI have no money, and then
fucking I get out of all sopissed. I couldn't. I didn't know
who did it either. I wasso hammered out, you know, shakedowns.

(32:28):
It's not just for my fiozas andrecord label founders anymore. And I
go, I just got to thepool and some of my this kid called
this Russian kid Vasgins. He goes, you're an idiot, and I go,
I couldn't really see either because itwas chlorina or of chlorina in the
pool, and I was like,I just heard you're an idiot. I
go, fuck you Vaskin. Ipunched him, and I punched him in
the perfect spot. I broke hisjaw and then he was like, oh

(32:52):
fuck. Oh fucking Then my boyday one boy like backs him up and
starts fighting me, and I helike beats the shit out of me.
I'm like, all right, allright, and then fucking I go home
like poopies, you gotta go.I'm like, fuck you, guys,
dude, I told you not tothrow me in the fucking pool. So
that like next week I had togo to Hawaii for work. I was

(33:12):
filming another season and who's job.So I leave the Hawaii with this guy
kids out a broken jaw. Right, So I go on Facebook. I
message I'm hey, dude, I'mso sorry. I don't mean to punch
in the phase like we're all fuckedup. You know, you're talking shit,
You're annoying me the whole night.You know, that's what real boys
do. We fight pretty funny,like in your message being like also a
little bit kind of your fault forbeing like yeah, like, dude,

(33:34):
sorry, but like I'm sorry youhave a broken jaw. Don't call me
an idiot when I fucking throwing thepool well anywhere obviously not so. Two
much later, his parents go,you have to press charges. Stop.
Yeah, so he fucking out ofcharges, bitch, move I got like,
dude, I got some dirty charges, dirty charges, dude. The

(33:55):
DA came at me hard, bro. But they threw you in the pool.
I know that's what I dude.They like instigating. I was.
I defended myself, dude. Butyeah, in the courtroom like not ladies
and gentlemen. The Jersey money,he's a he's a rich Yeah, he's
a rich Russian kid and his parentshave money. And I'm like, I

(34:17):
was a poor Irish kid that gota public defender. So they fucking put
me so, dude, this isthe funny part though. So they caught,
they got they got me in Hawaiisomehow was I'll tell you somehow,
but fucking so they pressed Georges sohe didn't even respond. He left you
on red. He left me onred on that message because he already knew
he was gonna press charges or something. And he used that, do you

(34:39):
have to get his jow like wired? And yeah, he said. I
was like sucking out of smooth.I go, well, I didn't mean
I did, dude. I wasso pissed. That's how much fucking angry
I had. I didn't mean to. I was just like, fuck right
spa. I guess I don't know. I was pissed, and so I
had to go to Yeah, Ihad to go to Hawaii, and I

(35:00):
was like fuck. And then hepressed charges and I heard he pressed charges,
and I was like, fuck,dude, I got a warrant now
in California, now for a soliddeli weapon. What's the deadly weapon my
hands? Why are your hand adeadly webon? I don't know, dude,
I guess that's what I'm like.I'm not even because I'm a State
Beach Local and the cops hate us, so they put that they profiled me
on State Beach Local because I didfucked up ship when I was a kid,

(35:22):
Like I was telling you, yeah, But so they profiled me and
State Beach locally. They gave mea gang charge and then they fucking gave
me an assault with deadly weapon andlike a battery charge. So I like,
how do you get all of themfrom one punch? I don't know.
They fucked me. They try tofuck us over so bad, but
it never works because we're so likeinnocent, you know, we all this

(35:46):
time worked this. I was innocent, dude. I did punch him,
but I was innocent. It wasn'tmy fault. Yeah, but you went
did three months, he said,yeah, Because so this is how it
happened how I got caught, dude. I was fucking in Waikiki, raging
with these two. I just gotmy vulcan m paycheck from the surf contest.
I was like just ripped through thosepaycheck dude. One night, it

(36:07):
was like nine hundred bucks. Itwas like I took these two like hot
twin chicks out like I was gettingget lage and spent all my money on
them, like went to this likefestival, like brought him bracelets and then
went to this bar and got himdrinks. Then I was just so hammered.
And then just go see a poopiesI was when I was out of
money. I I go felons.Uh yeah, no, they didn't even

(36:31):
know about this. I didn't evenknow about this at the time. We
are Russian school. Oh fuck no, they were like freaking who knows.
Those chicks were cool. They're funthough, but I felt like I was
like the you know, the Pampersis big back then. Yeah, dude,
I was in my gigee raging dude. Yeah. So I run out
of money, so I'm like,fuck, chicks ditch me. I'm like

(36:52):
fuck, I'm like I'm starving,dude. So I go to the safe
way there, right, and theyhave to like to go poke bowls.
Yeah, so I go and grabit to go poke ball and like start
eating in the store because I couldn'tpaid for it. I was out of
money. Check was gone, dude, and he literally went through it where
you didn't have five bucks nothing.No, yeah, I still do that,

(37:14):
Dude's fucked. You still do thatnow? No, dude, I
need a fucking I do It's far. No, I need a like financial
advisor or some ship. Dude.I got an accountant. But it's my
sister, and she don't tell me. Shit, Yo, this is where
she's just charged put it somewhere,and that'd just be like every dollar somewhere.
But I fucking will always go backto it, you know where it

(37:35):
is. But you know when youget that hot date and you're like,
oh, I gotta fucking spend thismoney, you know I don't. I'm
not like I'm legitimately if I makesfund No matter how much money I make,
I make my life. I'm likejaded on that hot Instagram chick.
Look, you know, no,I hear that. I was My ex
was that. Those are girls arekind of expensive a little. Those girls
sucked. They just tease you.It's like fuck off, yeah with me,

(37:59):
they tease me and and damon,oh hey fuck. Once they moved
one bag in, you gotta keepwatching them, dude. They'll sneak them
in all of a sudden, You'relike, why is there five bags in
my room? In all of asudden, their leases up and yeah yeah
oh yeah, and their ex boyfriendsdriving by your house. Yeah I'm sorry,

(38:22):
yeah yeah yeah, singing singing outher window. No, it gets
hectic, dude, I feel Yeah, no, I feel like I know
we're blast. We're very blast.Like I don't know how I don't like
get like two pissed off about ship, but I don't, dude, I
just like take it with a grainof salt. Yeah you gotta strike me
to dude that like wouldn't ball outthat hard. But I guess it goes

(38:43):
one way. You're like, well, it's just money whatever. But the
other way to look at it isit's like it's just my like, yeah,
I can see why you'd be like, oh, let's fly here,
let's do this where it's like forme, I legitimately go to comedy clause
and I don't do anything, solike I don't buy anything. I'm not
yea, like I what would Ieven? I don't even know what I
would spend money on really like whatyou like someone want to tramp? Like

(39:06):
something fun? You spend money on? Like what do you? I don't
know, don't do it. Idon't know what you make video card?
Well, you only spend money onis like video like stuff like for videos.
But I don't know, but Iguess that's not really Like No,
that's what's up though? If youso making your YouTube channel is pretty much
having fun because like you're doing itbefore you were even filming it. Yeah
what I mean, so it's like, fuck it, let's make it think

(39:29):
of like more professional and more ofa story base, and like some of
the funniest doing what you're doing thatyou used to do, but you're filming
and you have like a there's astrategy behind it. You know. This
is a good reason why we undertakea ritual in the studio. We burned
sage, smudge around, we prayto our unearthly pagan over lawrence in the
algorithm, I look back to likeyou and I go yo. I might

(39:54):
have been funnier, like not funnier, but like I in the middle walk
walk right in the middle again?What was that just, dude? You
do TikTok? Oh? This guyagain. Let's see what he has to
say this time. Yeah, notreally, I don't know. I was
gonna How do you do with TikTokTikTok? Yeah? Hell yeah, I

(40:16):
do the cheerlead ones. Do younever see me? Bro? Uh?
Yeah? Stand up? Colm,You're at a stand up comedy festival.
He doesn't even know what comedy isthis kids, Frieda, you don have
to give us fifty bucks for thatstreet time wasted doing well what oh fuck,

(40:43):
this guy's doing the lives. You'rethe light guy. Yeah, dude,
Hey dude, you gotta hook itup. Dude, I'm trying to
get on the tower, the lighttower. Yeah, like climb up to
there and like get a little clipwith my camera. Yeah. YouTube a
famous surfer dude, famous surfer dude. Sharks and shit dude, Yeah I

(41:07):
sucked Johnny knox hillis Penis sometimes Yeah, Steven Easier, Yeah, I saw
him in his fucking test up liketwo hundred feet up. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, I said shit on myface. Yeah, I know.
You also are the shittiest podcast ever? Is he framed in here? You?
Okay, you're in freedom. Youdon't know who the fuck this is,

(41:29):
dude, you don't know who thisis right now, But he walked
in here right there, a fuckingpodcast you like, in a really important
time. How many do we got? No, I'm just joking. We
got like one hundred and twenty sixk. That's all I'm at. Or
one hundred thirty six k. Hell, this probably wraps up the guest.

(41:50):
Yeah, okay, no more questions. Hey, no, they told me
in Canada. Next question, No, I'm joking. I spot nine all
right, all right, ge dmme dude, Yeah, I just made
you back. Tell your girlfriend tohit me up. They tell your girlfriend
hit me up. I've done bigger, trust me. I just like dude

(42:13):
cool, Yeah, fucked that guy, dude, he goes, I'm the
light guy. I'm gonna cut allyour wires right now. Then you're gonna
get fired. Like guy, youknow what lights out? Lights out?
Did you guys have your lives out? What do you guys do? Live
shows? No, I'm I wantto do streaming. I've never fucked up
streaming. Yeah, an for awild boy, because that's how you get

(42:37):
your channel deleted. Really yeah,you fucking he started getting uh five hours
deep into that drunken buck cooked downstream. Yeah, I can't. I
can't do it when I'm all onyou question. I don't do it when
I'm bored and fucked up. Yeah, yeah, I like fucking I just
want to do it because I justwant to show the people what I do

(42:59):
on the daily. You know,No, you want to do like ir
ral streaming, Like if I'm doingsomething, sit up on your phone,
Like just bring your phone, guys, I'm about to do this right now,
like let's live stream. You know. To me, I've I've gone
back and forth on all that sortof shit, like there's only so much
stuff you can do, and partof me is like, you know what,
I'm like, can I fucking havea moment that I'm not recording?

(43:20):
You know what I mean? It'sjust I mean, it's it's the times
when you're not recording, when themagic happens like somehow to me, that's
how I used to think, Andthen I feel like that's the difference between
being like, it's not what youthink, it's what happens. Though it's
because I've I don't know what theyhappened on in that it happened so many
times where like the cameraman will stopfilming and all of a sudden, like

(43:40):
something the fucking funny. He'll bean example, like I don't know,
like say like say like I'm justlike coming in from a surf session and
then all of a sudden, thesecrams show up, you know, and
like they're all psyching. They wantlike autographs or something, and the cameraman's
fucking taking a piss somewhere. Youknow, You're like where the fuck where

(44:00):
are you? But it's like itthat's why, I mean, it's ever.
I really get mad, not mad, but I get frustrated. But
it's like the ones where you can'teven like help it. It's like when
you're just cruising and you can't evenhelp it. You're like eating lunch.
How about this? And never turnit off? Just have a go your

(44:21):
the best movie and the whole fuckingclasses you need, like spy glasses,
dude, if he had that shipbro in my life, dude. And
then you go six o'clock, bigmoment, like I get lost. You've
every time there's a moment, Iget lost a lot. Okay, like
I get lost a lot, andwhy, dude, I don't know.
There's merges like every fucking yeah inthe car, yeah yeah, I can

(44:42):
see that. Yeah. And thenall of a sudden, I'm in like
some other merge. And then likesomeone's calling me and I gotta answer it.
And then like I've missed that freakingexit, and then I'm going too
fast and Google Maps doesn't even catchme sure and I missed that exit and
it's just like fuck, And Igo to the story to get sick guts
and then doesn't accept my debit card. I'm like, what the fuck?

(45:02):
Decline? Decline? I'm like,fuck this do San Diego people hate LA,
Like do you think LA is gettingNo? No, I don't hate
anything. No, you know whatI mean. But you know, you
guys snobby about LA, Like ohnot at all. Like you guys are
more snobbier than we are, Likeyou guys, but like LA people,
Oh yeah, I'm not think thereship doesn't Steve. There's a lot of
claimers though. There's a lot ofclaimers. What's a claimer? Like say

(45:27):
you like, oh I do this, I do that, but you don't
really do it. Maybe your parentsdo or like your grandma did that?
A good word claiming shit? Youcan't claim shit? Oh yeah I do
this like I'm I'm working here,working there, or it's like well I
went to college and I was supposedto do that. Yeah, like what's
the real story. You know,you're all a lot of flamers claimers,

(45:49):
bro, LA is all claimer.Yeah, they're like I do this,
I do that. Like, noyou don't. It's like stop claiming,
bro, Yeah for real? Yeahyou call them claimers you want? Yeah,
that will make me happy, youknow, claimers and they just don't
know what the real world is about. You know, they're another good one.
I feel like you're like, isthat is that punishers is like the

(46:12):
people like someone there is like won'tstop talking to you? A punisher?
Punisher? Yeah, where you goall that? That guy's a bit of
a punisher. Like just camel getinto a convoy, you know what I
mean? Like your being like,oh this convos for me are just weird,
dude, Like those are weird thequart of the year. I don't
know, dude, Like like,don't look at me and come over and

(46:34):
like come out of a combo withme, because I ain't gonna say shit.
I hate when people ask me questionsif you think I'm like you,
I don't really know him, youknow, if I don't really know him,
I'm like, dude, don't askme questions. Like I can see
why, dude, you bro,I can see because I just like they
don't they're not on my level,you know, I don't know. It's
weird, Like they ask me somethingthat I don't even know about that they
like know about that they're into orsomething, you know what. I'm just

(46:57):
like what It's just like he's suckingat a bar next thing, you know
something fucking punishers talking about Crypto.Yeah, dude, Like you know you
can see him from far away.You're like, fucking stay away from the
night. Dude. He's got toomany beaks in his nose. What's beaks
in the nose? That's blow likebeak dude, Sandy, you know what
I tried to actually this morning?Beaks? Yeah, because didn't you wake

(47:20):
up in the morning. You gohome, my beak is broke and you're
like, well, well, butyou call you say, too many beaks
in the nose, Like, where'sall the beaks out? You know,
like the beak nose margaritas? Ohyeah, the nose beers. Yeah,
yeah, yeah, I've never heardthe margarita. No shots. You want
to nose vodka shot. It's likeblow with vodio. You're like, yeah,

(47:43):
where's the shaw? Look, Yeah, he's let's go straight nose.
Just your eyes start bleeding out ofyour fucking brain. Sure, No,
that shit's fucked no though, it'sall fat and old, it's fucked up.
Yeah, kids, don't do thatshit, dude. All that shit's
also like like in my day ofsurfers, we did so much fucking coke
candy, like so much, likeduring the dusk. It's the lifestyle.

(48:05):
But like you, the drinking sparkedit. You know, y'all drinking,
then you get it all fucked up. You're like fucking he kind of wake
up, you know, because you'redick work on coke. It did until
they got shitty coke like five yearsago. Is that the problem? Yeah,
bad coke makes your dick not work. Yeah, it used to the
worst coking the world, Scott,Yeah, yeah, you know this fucking

(48:36):
dick work coke? Dot test Doesmy dick work on this ship? Yeah?
Fucked up? I haven't. Ihaven't that shit. My problem is
it sucks my voice so much.Voice problems. No, the whole fucking
system is fucked, dude. Notyou really messed my voice, that's fucked
dude. No, but like alreadygot a fucking like a boy, yeah,

(49:00):
raspy, like I like that's alegendary though. It is like a
unique voice or whatever. But likeeveryone that sounds like me, the fucking
rocks out too hard, sound likeJack black Yeah, Jack black shit,
dude, you gotta be careful withit because because when you have like a
scratchy voice. It takes more energyto make sound because it's just like you're

(49:21):
working harder for working harder for it. So the more energy is constantly and
it just gets worse and worse,and then you try to and then people
before you're like, yeah, thisis like a tricky otomy, whole guy,
this is what happened. So thatis how you lose your voice.
So you start drinking right, no, sleep cigarettes, no, no,
no, this is day one.You're so bad. Yes, yes,

(49:43):
that actually is like squirting. Mythroat can speak again. Yea, Oh
my god, hello, hello,Hello, where's all the squirters? Tho?
No, it starts like this,like I swear, it's like you
freaking it's Thursday or oh sorry,it's like Friday. Right, you had

(50:05):
a good work day or a goodwork week. You didn't drink all week,
and then you got to go toan event or something your friends.
You're like festival or something, right, and then it's like, okay,
you start drinking right in the carright there. Then everyone's buzzed by the
time you get there, and everyonestarts speaking louder and louder and louder and
talking over everyone. So now it'slike level fucking twenty. Everyone's fucking yelling.

(50:30):
Oh you saw the next day.You know, you got the loudest
fucking person there, which you're like, okay, it's your friend, You're
probably your best friend. But it'slike, dude, shut the fuck up,
I'm that guy. By the way, everyone is at a at a
moment of their life, you know, like everyone everyone is. It's okay
if you are, Dude, that'sthe funnest guy though, you know,
like, yo, yeah, probablynot gonna apologize. When it's like two

(50:53):
am, You're like, shut thefuck up. We got a fucking rivers.
You know. That's when it reallylike matters at the two am four
am ship. Dude, yeah youAnd then you're like, oh, dude,
at least you got okay. Sothis is you are talking to people
at a bar. This is what'sfun talking over the boy like that.
Not even the bar, it's theafter parties, right right. You got

(51:14):
ten combos going from fucking like twentyways right. Sure, that's when I
lose it, Dude, I go, I gotta go home. I go.
I can't listen to all your combosat once, you know, and
everyone's trying to look at you likeyou're listening to them, Yo, you
have to just call it out.You go, hey, what do you
no? But you can't, dude, fella, you're too beaked out.

(51:35):
You're too beaked out. B ButI've had that happened so many times in
my life. It was like everynight in my life, like for like
ten years. Dude, it waslike that, and then you guys just
wake up. It is crazy becauseI feel like you guys can party extra
hard because you're so physically fit fromlike all the shit you do probably right
well surfing, like you're almost likebeat down, but you're all in like
good shape. It's like the onlyathlete that's like it's it's like because more

(52:00):
weird. It's weird people the ocean. It's like ocean top shape, but
you're fucking beat like there's no it'sa basketball player that also like he's getting
shredded like six days a week likethat, you know what I mean.
Ocean dude like says, because youknow I'm hung over, let's go jump
in the ocean. So that's ourlife, dude. We're hung over every

(52:20):
fucking morning, but we jump inthe ocean and surf and then after after
that surf session, but we're like, fuck, what's up, where's the
beers, where's the chicks, where'sthe bag? You know that that was
the lifestyle and I just didn't stop. Like I was like, fucking I'm
not trying to get a real job, and somehow I had just worked out.
But that was nice. Yeah,but I would do anything for anyone,
you know, if they helped meout, you know, I would

(52:43):
help them out like ten times hard. Like you got a lot of people
in your corner. Yeah, Igot people's back. You collected like good
will. Yeah, it's just likeit's not with the light guy, but
with that guy, I'll go cuthis lights off right now, and he'll
be like right now, we're justgetting here. You don't even find me,
I'll cut the lights off and nonebeing that guy. But no,

(53:05):
Yeah, we finally grew up though. That's fucking I'm stoked. I'm fucking
stoked. Do you have boys thatwere like I used to being bands before
this time? Yeah? Do youhave like buddies that like surf guys that
it really didn't work out and itjust kind of ended up real bad for
them, like never stopped never drinking, never stopped bro I got the kid.
I got the kid in my vanright now. Josh Montgomery, so

(53:25):
you brought you bring one with you? I saved. Yeah, Well,
dude, I seen him like freakingin the streets, dude, like gnarly
bro, like with his bags dude, and like his grocery It was like
grocery bags, but it's his clothesand shit, you know. And like
I go, I go, Josh, what the fuck, dude, what's
wrong dude? Like, because Iheard he was like on drugs and shit,
like smoking fat and all and allthis fucked up shit and they live

(53:47):
in like this jungle ship. Butdude, I saw him, bro,
and he's like walking next to myhouse and I goes, I go,
Monty, are you fucking what's wrongwith you? Dude? Are you fucking
like high and ship? Dude.He's like he got all weird when he's
saw me, you know, likeall like like scared, kind of like
he was in trouble. But Iwas just like, dude, like stop
dud, stop hanging out all thesepeople, you know. And I was
like, dude, if you needsomeone to stay, I got a hammock

(54:09):
on my patio. And this kidwas like sponsored by no fear and like
Nixon and like all these really goodhe's so good calls bad boy, right
yeah, and then I was like, fuck when I saw him it,
I was like so sad you.I was like I have to help him,
and I like I was like kindof took him in now and he
like helps me out a lot,and I like I kind of hook him

(54:30):
up with money and if he needsa cell phone, bail or some shit.
You know, I think that,But I know when he's high,
and I fucking I snapped, dude, I'm like, what the fuck?
You know, all those jobs werelike you know, you kind of famous
or popular, make money really young. Yeah, and it's kind of over
a little weird, like the Armieslike that. Sports. It's like it's

(54:50):
like you have people there thirty fiveand they're just like, yo, this
guy's like retired kind of you knowwhat I mean in some ways, specially
when you're not old. So it'skind of like, yeah, it's weird.
I think that, Like, youknow, that's the athleticism. Athleticism.
Yeah, if you're not athletic andyou can't do those moves you could
do, but there is there isthey're like the same music's like that too,

(55:12):
because like there's no way around it. That's a young man's game,
dude. Like you're not in thepulse. You're like thirty five. You
don't know what the fuck is.And it's so weird, weird for me,
dude, because I was never sponsored. I was always like getting free
ship from my friends that were sponsored, okay, and like I finally got
sponsored like five years ago, andlike the Tables of Turn, it's so
weird. And now you started cookingsponsored and getting like getting the cloud and

(55:35):
like getting the chicks and like andthey're like firefighters and like you have families
and shit, it's weird. Losersnot losers, not losers, but they
just tried too hard. You can'tfucking tried too hard. Sure, that's
when people will notice you're trying toohard. You know what do you think
that's like? Because they're afraid tolose, so they had to leave.
They wanted to be like that famousperson you know. But it's it's like

(56:00):
surfing is a weird fucking industry,dude. They think they're like rock stars
of course, and no one andthey are and for sure in their own
mind, like that, I waslike that I don't even in that little
world you are like, yeah,definitely in that little guy in a band
that's like they want more, sothey like try to like get more and
go to Hollywood or do something stupidand just blows it for him. Yeah.

(56:22):
Next thing, you know, you'refucking auditioning for like commercials or something
weird. As they're like yeah,or like some weird shit, you know,
like Bruce Irons, like they wouldalways like they'd so the boys,
fuck, they're pretty narry, Likethey'd come over and film video like movies
in North Shore, and the boysare like, what, you're not gonna
fucking You're not gonna hire us asthe cast. You're not gonna hire our

(56:42):
security. You know. They hadto like they had to like stick up
for themselves, you know. Yeah, so they can like be get a
piece of the pie. So it'slike weird. You know, like when
Hollywood came to Hawaii, all theHawaiians like, what's up? You know,
we want to be part of this, Like you guys are filming?
Are are all? You guys arefilming on our land? It's kind of
like a respect thing. So nowit's like yeah, like North like say

(57:05):
Blue crush those guys, those localsurfer dudes. They are the real local
surfer dudes on that movie. Likeit's Kalawa Alexander. Like that's kind of
cool though, Yeah, it's supercool. So it's like that's kind of
like you gotta stick up for yourselftoo, you know. So that's like
where that comes in, Like alwaysstick up for yourself and when you get
to opportunity, take it. Neverdeny it. Like, hey, you

(57:27):
want a sandwich. Fuck y'all wanta sandwich. That's a small opportunity,
you know, don't fucking pass thatship up. Say no, Never say
no, dude, Like that's whatI learned too. But yeah, you
know what do you know? Doyou guys rock to like a different city
every day? No, I stayedstay for a week or a month somewhere.
No. No, I'm mostly inSan Diego unless there's a surf trip.

(57:51):
And this was a surf trip.No, this is a podcast trip.
Okay, it's my first podcast tripever. So you came just stating
fast, Yeah I got you,okay, like in the I'm sure if
you were like doing some other shitand you came through. No, it's
just I came here for this sick. Yeah. Oh, let's talk about
skank fest. What is it really? Oh, Chris, it's a whole
metal meats comedy shin dig in Vegas. Just when I thought that whole town

(58:15):
was a skank fest in itself.Yeah, dude, I'm dedicated, dude.
It's bad as you showed up though. I'm stoked, dude. Yeah,
you know you who's have you watchedit? Are you gonna be what
like if you watched stuff since you'vebeen here? You just been working.
I've been watching stuff, but it'sthere's too many people. Yeah, I
seen Winsaw Stevo's like hanging from atesla. Yeah, I said, you

(58:37):
do interviews with it since you're here. Oh no, you're the first one.
Nice dude. Yeah, you knowwhat it is, right, long
comedy. Yeah, let's go theboys cast. How many travel with you?
Got four? Um? I gotthree right now, me, Diego
and my friend Josh. But Montgomeryyeah, oh okay, okay, you're
not traveling with him. No,he's separate. He flew. I was

(59:01):
supposed to go with him, butthen my dog got hurt. Okay,
so I was I didn't trust anyoneWashington when he's hurt because he has to
lay on the certain side. Yeah, and fucking he got it. Can't
be running around and shit, Idon't trust anyone really when he's hurt.
So I was like, fuck,I missed the flight, and I just
like got a van. I hitup this Instagram company, Um, the
van company. You missed the flight. That's yeah, I had to I

(59:25):
supposed to do. I was like, dude, I can't leave grown by
himself right now. He's like inpain, and shit, dude, I
wouldn't be like myself right now.I showed up to the airport to fly
to Austin and I went there andthey're like, yeah, you booked the
flight, like to a different city. And then I was like, is
there another flight I can book toget there in time? And they were
like no, And I just hadto call him be like yeah, yeah,

(59:49):
I like not coming. Fuck yeahno, dude, dude, I'm
so loopy that I I legitimately hadto have someone in that like works with
me to I know this. It'slike crazy, but like every time I
book a flight, I take ascreen shot before I press enter now and
I send them all because I'm justlike some brains like too it's not fried.
It's like I'm just too overloaded thatthose little things and I'm naturally loopy

(01:00:14):
already. But yeah, no,this is You're just like me. Dude.
You think of something and you're like, oh yeah, and you start
thinking about what could make it thatbetter and you go oh yeah, and
you forget about the main thing you'rethinking about, and before you know it,
you're booking flakes the fucking a callowheatAnd bro, you don't even know.
You don't even know. I fuckingwas in the SECO Japan for snowboarding
and I get to the the SECOairport and I go I asked these Aussies,

(01:00:37):
Am I at the right airport?They go, no, might you
gotta go to the fucking Hong Kongor fucking where? Or where was it
the main city? Um Tokyo?Sure? So I was like, fucking
dude, I was in the mountainsof snowboarding in Japan and I had to
leave early because I had to godeal some shit and I didn't have any

(01:00:59):
escort. You're another boys telling mewhere to go or how to do.
So I fucking was at the rightairport and these get these kids told me
I was supposed to be in Tokyo. So I fucking took a super train
to Tokyo, one of those fastass motherfucking trains you see on the movies.
And ship dude. I fucking wasso hammerd dude. I get on

(01:01:19):
the plane and I look at theticket and the fucking connecting flight is Tokyo.
I was at the right airport,bro. I spent fifty dollars in
quarters trying to just call my sponsor, trying to change the ticket on the
pay phone. You only have fiveminutes, twenty bucks of quarters. You
only have five minutes, and they'dbe on hold trying to change it with
the airline. Boom, hang upquarters in four hours. Oh my god,

(01:01:46):
you don't even twenty four hours inthe Tokyo airport trying to get home.
Dude, fucking putting quarters in thismachine just for five minutes and I
ran out of money on the quarters. Dude, as fucked up. Anyways,
Hey, thank thank you, Igot this show. I'll see you
tonight. This is Leegined. Yousee him with his fight today the fucking

(01:02:07):
go give m a scrap, Givehim a scrap, pretty sick dude.
I stoke for you. Dude,you lay it down. I used to
used to wrestle. Yeah, thesesurf boys are scrappy, dude. Oh
he's got me always wired. Okay, that was the cradle. That was

(01:02:30):
the cradle. Yeah yeah, allright, thanks for having me, brother,
You're the best. Okay do youguys? Latter piece? Well,
that about does it for this round. Might even give tickets to skank Fest
some consideration before this cowpers have atit, you know, skank Fest.
Yeah, but who knows. Untilnext time. Don't wear the wrong bandanna

(01:02:51):
outside of resort, out of thecountry, and stay shitty. The Shittiest
Podcast is produced by the World's WorstPeople, Tyler Nielsen, Bryan Tillotson,
Frank Triscoll, narrated by Me theNarrator. Special thanks to the straw Hut team.