June 20, 2023 • 27 mins
This week on The Shittiest Podcast with Poopies, our main man himself sits down with Zac Amico—a New Jersey born comedian and showrunner known for his extreme on-stage stunts and work on several works from Troma Films, famous for The Toxic Avenger series.
They’ll be going over their experiences bringing shock humor to life AND it’s not shot in a hotel hallway this time!
Zac Amico will also be headlining Skankfest 2023; more information on Skankfest can be found in the links below.
This episode is sponsored to you by:
Follow Zac Amico on all socials @ZacIsNotFunny
Find more information about Skankfest:
https://skankfest.com/
From Straw Hut Media
They’ll be going over their experiences bringing shock humor to life AND it’s not shot in a hotel hallway this time!
Zac Amico will also be headlining Skankfest 2023; more information on Skankfest can be found in the links below.
This episode is sponsored to you by:
- Manscaped use promo code POOPIES
- MyBookie enter promo code POOPIES
- Jerkmate use promo code POOPIES
- BlewChew use promo code POOPIES
Follow Zac Amico on all socials @ZacIsNotFunny
Find more information about Skankfest:
https://skankfest.com/
From Straw Hut Media
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Straw Hot Media.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We were on. I was joking. I was joking. I
got kicked out of the hotel today. Yep, all right.
I think we might have a message back from that
Tom from Tom, but we got Zach on here. No
no message back.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Oh hey, you're scared, you ever loving shit out of me.
Never expect to see when you're gonna pop up. Welcome
back to another episode of.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
The Shittiest Podcast. Today, we have another guest that headlines
skank fests. You remember skank Fest boy, I do a
Las Vegas comedy at Metal Festival in twenty twenty two,
and we'll be back for skank Fest twenty twenty three
this September.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
The name Zachamiko the background. He's a New Jersey comedian,
show run a filmmaker, and occasional guests on several popular
reality TV shows Hot The Body of Work. I'm sorry,
I'll stop doing the Joe Pesci The Body of Work,
Gun Dick, Cocked and Loaded Science Team, and a screen
darling and co creator for the famous or infamous movie
(00:59):
production house Trauma Films. I still remember him watching their
cult hit The Toxic Avenger. It's a solid word to
the wives, don't.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Watch it with your family around. It'll get weird.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Fast warnings and stipulations out of the way.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Let's get on with the show and hopefully this wasn't
shot in a hotel hallway this time.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Here's to you, poops.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm usually here like raging, getting blacked out, and it's
like the first time that I'm not put your.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Hands together for movies.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
He's a fucking third generation side show show dude, He's
a legend.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Probably the shittiest podcast in the world.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Alright, you guys, welcome to the shittiest podcast ever. We
got Zach. How do you say? That is not funny?
Zach is not funny on this Zach and Miko, It's good.
I'm so new to this comedy freaking world. Dude, it's crazy.
I'm like, I feel like an idiot.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
But do you I'm fucking pumped with one, dude.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
This is my first freaking skank fest. And yeah, it's
a trip. It's wild, right, it's a trip, dude. I'm like, dude,
I thought I was freaking crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You guys are crazy, bro.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah, we have a good time out here, buddy.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
For sure. I heard you like stabled your forehead or
your Yeah I did.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I did staple gun last night. I think I got
stabled about forty times. Holy arms look great down my arms, belly, chest.
And then I told people hundreds only if you want
to do the forehead.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Fuck yeah, I used a hustle.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I used carpet staples. Oh and I had to take
them out with flyers. So fuck yeah. I did five
in the forehead last night.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Dude, you're a legend. It's a little dent in your head,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I got a bunch of scud this year. This one
is a razor blade. This one is a light tube.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Fuck dude. Yeah, get it, dude, I love it. I
want to smell some ship. Dude. I'm just like, oh, yeah,
I'm too scared of just going to the hospital because
I hate getting stitches.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I have never gotten stitches. You're so lucky to do super
glue everything.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, I mean that that works for sure. Definitely. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah. This this long one right here, you could see skull. Yeah,
and I literally super glued it like five times.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah. That's why there's a that's why it's a g
narley scar.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah. Well, I mean I kind of wanted it. Yeah,
I wasn't that good. Looking to start with. Yeah, I
figured let's give me a little more carried go.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Dude, So is that real black eyes you got? No, no,
tell me it is.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I just wanted to. I just wanted to look good
for you.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah I know. Yeah, yeah, I got a scrap last
night too, but yeah I.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Could, I don't. I only I only harmed myself.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah that's cool. The same here, but yeah, it's all
I'm all new to this, so yeah, I love it. Though.
I've seen some guys wrestling or like naked they're fucking
naked wrestling or.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Some ship so they had.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
When I see that, I could look turned my head
on fucking oh the naked roast.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah yeah, yeah, so this is my doing the naked roast.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, so the naked roast. That's what I wanted to
get to the fifth of your naked roast.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah. So it's like, uh, basically, when we're coming up
with Skangfest, we're all sitting in our friend's apartment trying
to figure out what our shows were gonna be, and
they asked me what to do. And the two dumbest
things I've ever heard of are roast Battle, where two
comics make fun of each other and they used to
do a thing called the Naked Show where comics had
to perform naked. So I said, let's do naked roast.
(04:23):
I'm hosting it naked. The judges are naked and all
the battlers are naked.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, and you just fucking call out all their flaws.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
It's pretty fun. And it's so funny because when a
dude is losing, you watch you watch his dick fall
into him. If he's when you're doing good, your dick
like relaxes and if you start to bomb, your dick hides.
So some dudes start with a decent piece and then
they bomb and their decks like, hey, this is your
(04:52):
problem and just hide the shirt.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
That's so fucking funny.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I kind of missed that. I'm glad I kind
of missed that though, But it's it's uh was fucking
was someone like drinking piss off off you or something?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Oh that was many years ago. Fear threw a couple
of piss in my face. Uh, here's a sociopath. I
don't know if you know that about him.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, I never met him.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
He's yeah, he's a sociopath. And I had walked off
stage and took a razor blade and did this scar up,
but I sucked it up and I hit a vein,
so I was all fucked up. And I walked out
and Ari just stood up naked and put his dick
in a cup like this and filled it a piss
and he looks at me, and I went, oh, he's
(05:36):
gonna throw that at me. And I thought to myself,
oh no, but I accidentally also said oh no, and
you're like, as he threw it, it just nothing but mouth.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Oh fuck. Oh so right when he spoke, it was
oh no, oh fuck, he was on to it.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah he got me.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Good, were you know my instinct reaction to that, go
about my way, go about my day. Someone does that
that someone's dying later that night, kitens.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, he knew what he was doing.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And everybody's like wiring you man like cause it was
fucking the funniest thing he could have done. I can't
get mad at that. Hilarious.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
It didn't hurt you. It was like liquid.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah, it's sterile.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
See yeah. See that's that's what like people get to
like they take it too personal sometimes.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
If everybody had a great time and we both came
out looking funnier.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, that's all I care a dude for sure. Yeah.
We used to have this guy that passed out at
the surf shop. He'd we'd be like, hey, watch the shop,
you know, because the owner had to go do something
like run an errand or something. Then we'd we'd like
be in the back skating. We had a little mini
ramp and this guy would fucking pass out. His name
was Paul Sack, and this guy would pass out and
(06:49):
he then customers would come in and he'd be sleeping.
But before the customers would come in, we'd go over
there and write ship all over his face. So he'd
get up with fucking cock and balls and who knows
what on his fucking face, and he goes up to
the customers like can I help you? And the customers
are like, just like they would fucking look at him
and just turn around and leave. It was kind of
bad business. We're fucking not promoting it, but we're definitely
(07:12):
laughing our asses off because this guy didn't not know. Yeah,
it's kind of fucked up, but it's just having fun,
you know. It didn't harm anyone, you know, And plus
if you pass out tripping, someone's fucked up like that's
some punk shit, dude. I used to get tripped all
the time. I was over that.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I used to hang out with a bunch of like
uh street punk kids in Silly and they lived in
this They called it the trash house, damned, and it
was a bunch of kids, like a big punk house
and to to like almost like a gang initiation if
you live there. If you were drunk walking home with
them and they saw a big pile of garbage, everyone
would grab one of your limbs, lift you and throw
(07:50):
you in the garbage pile. And that's how you got
like initiated into the trash house.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Fucking classics. See that doesn't happen anymore, No, not at all.
I know these kids are soft these days, dude.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Out these punk host is now, they're like they care
about like equality.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, it's like what's going on with the next iPhone
or something.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, dude, I used to I used to live with
the fucking all. I used to stay it so many trashy.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
As Boston now from Jersey, Jersey. Fuck yeah, I've been
to Jersey. The beach is there. I tripped out how
to pay to go on the beach?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Did we used to have to go surfing and they're like, no,
you gotta pay, you gotta fucking pay to I was like, what.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
We used to sneak on. We would go to Atlantic City,
but we would leave it like midnight and then Campbell
till you know the nine and then sleep on the
beach like bou sleep and shrifts get kicked off. Yeah,
and sleep on the beach so that we didn't have
to pay for house right there. Yeah, that's the best, dude,
fucking degenerate ship.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Atlantic City was sick, dude, I freaking we were there
doing a tour for Bodyglove. I'm from Maine to fucking
Atlantic City. It was our last stop and this cop
hit us up. He's a big fan and he's like, dude,
I brought my fucking shoe. He's an officer. He's like,
I brought my fucking shoe for you, fucking on duty
for it for twelve years. And dude, I was like,
how many people do you rest in this boot? He's like,
(09:05):
fucking at least like three hundred, and he fucking I
did a shoey out of it. Dude. I could feel
like the cotton ball, fucking foot tar whatever it is.
Fucking toe jam bro it was fucked, but yeah, it
was epic time, dude. But yeah, Atlantic City is fucked.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Atlantic City is exactly what. It's funny because we're in Vegas,
but Atlantic City is exactly what it sounds like, which
is what if Las Vegas sucked and was in New Jersey.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I'd rather be in Atlantic City than Vegas. Yeah, I
think so. I'm getting shut down everywhere here, dude. I
just gotta take down my hotel. Yeah, riding my e
bike in the hotel, yeah, do it? Well, I mean
this is the.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Put the the fucking hallways are so fucking long.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
This thing was huge, fucking enonymous, and they're like, Nope,
you can't do that. Three oh six got called too
many times. I think they're over that number.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, a million other places.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, I packed out, I said they thinks thanks a lot.
Oh yeah, it's pretty funny. I'll go. But yeah, it's
been fun here. Vegas is sick. I'm usually here like
raging and getting blacked out, and it's like the first
time that I'm not.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I got into it, did you. Yeah? I went to
Better around seven.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Fuck yeah dude. On fumes.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Oh yeah, yeah, we were We had a good We were.
We were pretty into it during the roast battle and
then they kept out. Yeah I was. I was sitting
at the casino around seven o'clock this morning.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And get a little What were you playing?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Oh no, I was sitting at the bar.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh there you go, Yeah I was.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I was. I only gamble with my.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Health, that's good. Yeah, I spent too much money gambling,
So I'm glad I stayed away from the fucking casino
this time.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, I can. I'm too much a child.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I'll lose my money and then I'm like, yeah, i
can get it back and get back and try getting
it back, and I'm just like losing my ass. Dude.
Next thing, you know, three g's are gone. It's like, yeah,
there's my fucking vacation money. Now we gotta go home.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah I have I have no self control with like that.
I to stay away from it.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, you gotta. You gotta fucking write sentences, dude, you
gotta write fucking self controls.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I'd rather spend them. I rather spend them only on
booze and drugs.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And yeah that's fun, you know, bad food. Yeah, you know,
it's your life. You do what you want when it
makes you happy?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Is this whole fucking fest has been a fucking bast
everybody's been killing so cool, dude, Yeah, everybody's been so
fucking generous and cool. Yeah, dude, everyone doing stable gun
last night, I was fucking cleaned.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
They're probably so pumped you fucking did that. And then
I went outside was probably like the your m v
P last night.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
And I went out in the lobby and I told people, Hey,
if anybody wants I got I got like about twenty
more staples left, and I sat out in.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
The lobby, darnating them out.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yeah no, no, no, I took them.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Oh you took Yeah, I talked about forty last night. Yes, dude,
I wish I was there.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Did you get footage of it?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So the deal with Naked Roast is no canter because
a lot, I mean it's put that on anything to do. Yeah,
and a lot of comics are yeah, yeah, you want
your privacy, So sure we tell people we policed the room.
If anybody gets caught.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
With their phone out, they're getting fucking you don't.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Even check a text, You're out your band from the
festival for life. Yeah fu, that's how we get like
you know I would be up there last night. Like
we get like cool people to come and do it, dude,
because they know men, because they know they won't get filmed.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah for sure. Yeah, like that's the the trust they have,
you know.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And plus there's something oddly cool about something being a
live experience only like only those people in the room
will ever get that. Yeah, and I kind of love that.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, that's that's like makes it like genuine you know.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, it's like a very it's a shared experience.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Definitely, you have to be there just you know, it's
like one of those like a lists celebrity like parties
or something.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Well, yeah, it's just a thing that nobody will ever
know about unless they really It makes it a lot
better because then the legend kind of grows.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Yeah, so it's like hears about it, but never sees it,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Yeah, So no matter what, it sounds better than it probably.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Was for sure. For sure, you gotta hype it up. Yeah, definitely, dude.
That's when I go on like surf Shop, so I'm like, yeah,
it was so good. The ways are shitty, you gotta
tell you boys, you know, the ways you're pumping.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
You know, We're gonna be taking a quick poop break
out there, so soon we'll go over some subjects that
should have been brought up in the Doctor Drew episode
that can be found here unless our.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Editors out to Cabo more when we get back and
we're live. Are we we are? And we're back. We're live.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Hope you got a chance to grab something while we
were out. Let's get back to the show for a
few more shitty topics between Zach and Pools.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, I just re scored.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I started doing this new bit this year that I
stole from a sideshow buddy, my buddy lunchbox. So I
have a two gauge Prince albert A gun. Mm hmm,
let's let's I have a two gauge captive bead ring
through the head of my deck.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Oh fuck. So last night I was like, what is that?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Last night I hung to Tall Boys above light off
and I had two fans get on their knees and
they like Bobby for apples, but they beers off my deck.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Fucking epic.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And but it's so funny because they both tug either side,
and my little Dick is just going, yeah, I still
my buddy Joe does it off. He's got a piercing
on either side of his balls.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Uh did you guys?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, I put a caribbe. I put a like a
mountain climbing clip through my deck. I put a carabine.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
It fu Yeah, you hang yourself by your dick?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
No, God, that's the real stuff. I've thought, I don't
do that. The biggest thing I've ever hung off it
was I did an iron.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Do with bungees. Though. You put bungees underneath you and
it helps you support.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
So I've done a gallon drug of water. I've done
a six pack of glass bottles.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Could you hang drum off off of it?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I I feel like that's the animal. Oh yeah, no, you
know that's I.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Wouldn't say I was just the weight weight size, you know,
fifteen to twenty pounds.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeh, that's too much too, I would I would probably
tap out around here.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
You got to get the bungeies. Did they help? Like
you could? You could like get that would be a
sick shot, though, if you're like hanging like yeah flat,
laying flat with your dick kind of stretched.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Well, I'm nervous because there was a guy that you
ever heard of, Jim Rose Sideshow Circus. Yes, they toured
with nine inch nails and Manson.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, yeah, they're legends.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah. They had a guy the Enigma, and he would
do away, he would do he would hang it off
as Prince Albert and he ripped his dick in half. Oh, Mike,
so he had a forkd dick.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Oh it went to so tough it went.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
It went like a snake tongue. Yeah, because he couldn't
get it fixed.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Oh my god, dude, that's fucked.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So I'm very apprehensive about what I'll put on.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
I'm like putting that in my head.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I won't do anything on stage. I haven't tested at
home first.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah that's good.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I'm just like, I don't want you don't want to
have that happened. I don't want the day where I
have to go.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Go viral, though you'll go fucking viral.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, fucking fat cocking hairs a B.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
That's the one. No, I would I do not fucking
wished that upon anyone as.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Says anything with the Jackass crew and poopies in general,
who fucking try this ship at home?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah? I used to be a little more wild than Willy.
But I'm fucking thirty five now, man.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, chegs it out. I'm thirty five too. My birthday
is in like a week. I'm gonna fucking be thirty six.
I'm like, I don't feel thirty six though, I'm like
just now growing up to.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
A mile out old. This morning, getting up after two
days of doing staple gun.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah really that that was your act though? You killed it?
You know how many people are fucking psyched on that
and saw that though? Yeah, people have compression on people's
in people's tree. Yeah yeah, he saw some guy fucking
staple in his head and Ship it is sick.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah. They asked me, can you do the show three
times next year? And already yeah yeah, yeah get me
and that's it. Listen to your body unless they offer
me a lot more money than I figured it out.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
That's what I'm talking about, dude. I A'm doing Ship
unless there's a contract.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah for sure. Yeah. If the check clears, baby, we'll talk.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Yeah. Yeah the check clears, I hope it clear.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Is like, oh no, they've been great, so this is
the best.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, that's what's up, dude. That's cool.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
But yeah, these guys are all like I've been with
them my whole comedy career.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Your family. Yeah, yeah, fu yeah, I could see it, dude,
like I saw. I saw Shane Grillis yesterday, and I
seen fuck a lot of other guys. Dude, I just
my brain's not that.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Fun dudes that are brain's not that fond of funny
people are here in that green room. There's something like
the most talented people in America.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I know. I wish I knew like all of them.
You know, I just gotta do. I just gotta keep
watching comedy and stuff and just practicing it.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
And I mean even the ledgers that are like a
tel Norton Voss Uh, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
With I'm good with faces. If I see the face,
I'm like, oh, I've seen him.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
He's alleged fucking incredible.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I don't know. The last one I did was with
l A at the Improv. That was cool. That was
my third stand up I've ever done. Good. I talked
about this story where I fucking like save this homeless
dude and freaking put him in my board bag in
the back of my truck and took him, took him
on a little mission to Long Beach, and yeah, he
slept in the back of my truck, and yeah, I
(18:18):
found him on the fucking He was in the middle
of the roads on sitting in like Indian style, like
in the middle of this roundabout. I go, dude, what
the fuck are you doing? Bro? He goes oh, and
I go get in my truck. I go, I'm gonna
drop you off safe for a spot. I fell back
from him, so I let him sleep in the back
of my truck. But I put a sleeping bag back there,
(18:39):
in a board bag, like surfboard bag. It's like really
long and big and you can like zip it up.
So I zipped him up and then dude, I got
a call that there's this party and I had to go.
So I was like, dude, I don't know, there's this
guy in the back of my truck. So I woke
him up. I go, hey, do you don't mind fucking
staying in the back of my truck. I'm gonna be
going fast. He's like, no, I'm fine. So I bungeed
them fucking down and I fucking took off to Long
(19:02):
Beach and on the freeway.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
That's sick, dude.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, it was funny though, Like I've watched dude. He
was on like suicide watch, bro. But yeah, no, didn't
get pulled over. It would have been so funny if
I did, though, Dude, they'd be like, what the fuck
are you doing?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Guy?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, I told Knoxville this one.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
He starts laughing. Dude, He's like, dude, you're gonna get
trouble over kiddingnapping, bro.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Because I bet his version of the story wouldn't look
good on your end. No, you just threw me in
the truck. Yeah, Like I'm being.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Like, I'm trying to help the dude. But then like
the next day, I freaking drove him back in the
back of my truck, like in the cab. So it
was it was fun.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Poopy's sometimes doing unintended public service.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
That's cool, man.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, fucking had to save the dude, dude. Some kid
would have run him over for sure.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
It was all dark. I barely saw him, dude, and
he was you know, he's black, so he's I can't
really see that well when it's dark night out, you know,
it's like, but yeah, it was nuts. I saved the dude,
and yeah, it was a good feeling.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
That's a cool story, dude.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I'm sure that that was I told that to the
Jason Ows. Thing I had like supposed to do two minutes,
it lasted like eight minutes or some shit. They're like
pink pink, pink, pink with the light. I'm like, oh fuck, yeah,
it's cool.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah, you'll get used to it. It's the timing is
really hard. Sometimes you think you did ten and you
did two, and sometimes you think you did two and
you did fifteen.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
No, I don't even look at the clock. I'm just
so in the moment, you know, like everyone looking at
me and trying to tell my funny joke.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
That's why all old comics always have nice watches. That's
like they look at all old comics they always have
It's like a big thing. Old comics love a nice watch. Yeah,
and I realized it's for timing.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I see, yeah, I gotta get a watch.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Because it doesn't look cool to take your phone out
through your set. It looks like you're looking at yeah yeah.
But if you look at your watch, yeah, exactly, you
look like you just look.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
At it like boom, okay, we're on. I see I
gotta get a watch now, just for stand up.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Maybe it sounds dumb, but it really no, that's so yeah,
especially when you're learning timing.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, exactly, because my time's off. Like I just blabber on.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I do story like I do. I'm a storyteller comment
so like I can't. My closer is twelve minutes long. Yeah.
So like if I get lit and I haven't started
it yet, I just kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Have to go yeah right, You're like, okay, this is
what I got. Yeah, yeah, I just I gotta cut
it off.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yea, are really long?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Come back to part two? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sick hell yeah. Okay.
So when I was growing up, they called us the
state beach rats, like we're like some surf crew fucking
the cops out. We were gang, but we weren't. We're
just some kids that hung out the beach, but we
did do fucked up ship. So they called this the
state beach rats. So I want to know about you
mentioned the rat trap? What's the rat trap?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
All right? So the last few years I've closed naked
roasts with I put my dick in a rat trap.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Fuck yes, and that's uh, give a little back, dude.
You should fucking let me do that bit, dude.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Uh, the backstory on it is, uh, I got a
great friend who's a third generation side show. His name
is Reverend Arlow Price.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Dude, he's a legend. Probably he's the man.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
He's great.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
He's been doing shows, whole third generation side show.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Grandpa did it his You ever seen the lady that
crushes the bear cans with a giant faked tits, that's.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
His, am, Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
The whole family does blood. Yeah, and I I was
working on a movie in Buffalo, New York. I work
with the company Trollman, the Toxic Avengers like that, and
we're having a rat party and I do stand up
in the two of the other actors that stand up,
and Arlow was in the movie. So I said, hey,
let me book an after party and we'll be comics
(22:38):
and we'll have Rlow do tricks in between. And did
all his bits. So then I closed, thank you goodnight.
And he didn't know that in comedy, the last comic
closes that the host doesn't do another thing. Okay, So
he comes out with his rat trap and does it
on his tongue, and he's been doing it for years.
He's got a nice callous on it. Uh.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Okay, Dallas, he's got a Callas and I'm like, ship.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Well, this is my this is my show. So I
walked back out and I whispered his year, has anyone
done that on their deck? And he went, I had
that one other guy in Sideto does it. But he
goes no, and I went, he set the bar, all right,
let's do it. And I walked under the bar. I
took my dick out and uh, the first time I
(23:27):
did it, sucked the whole base. My dick bruised up,
and uh, I don't know the how dirty I could
be on there, go for it. Beautiful little chubby goth
girl in the crowd takes me back to her car
and she starts to suck my deck and she looks
up at me and she goes, your dick day is
(23:48):
like blood, no way, and we should probably just fuck
the right. Yeah. Yeah, So that that's how the rat
traps started.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
So heavy.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I'll do every once in a while. If I'll do
a show that's like very like circusy or freak show
stuff and the club is cool with it, you always
ask yeah, especially if they serve alcohol.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Oh you'll get kicked out.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
No, not even if they serve alcohol, You going to jail.
Depending on the place on the cabaret laws.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
There's no fun ham sandwiches at two am. No, no, no,
and then woke up at at four am, and uh.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
So, uh every once in a while I'll do the
rat trap and uh so there's just a mouse trap.
Oh every skank fest and then you know if if
if it if the show is appropriate for it, and
I know there's other nudity on it. Yeah, I'll do it.
I try. You know. It's not something I want to
do every weekend.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we might have to get together and
do a fucking rat trap.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Dude, I'd be very happy to do it. And yeah,
so actually i'll show you what it looks like. I
won't do it, but no, it's all good. So yeah,
this is a mouse traps. Is the original one I
know I've been using. I buy a new one because
I give them away.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Okay, oh fuck, yeah, you gotta sign it.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah, well, I was gonna you should have a little
stamp on your tonight, I'm gonna ask people. I'm gonna
auction it off and give the money to the Trevor
Project fun project. The Trevor Project is a suicide prevention
for l g B t Q youth and uh it's
my favorite charity. Yeah, what's l gb Q to youth, gay, Lesbian,
(25:24):
transgender Okay, suicide prevention program, that's what's for young queer kids.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
So I was gonna sign this and uh hey they
need they need more love than anyone and.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Uh so yeah, fuck yeah this is uh not to put.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Their dick in it. Oh yeah, absolutely should write down
on there.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
This is what a rat was like.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh fuck, this one's big. Yeah, careful and that's your
dick in there.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Watch.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Oh my god, you are fucked.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah. It hurts every time, bro, every time I do it.
I went, oh yeah that still hurts.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, I'm sure you have nightmares of it.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Pretty I mean it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yeah, and people love that you fucking support it, Like, dude,
I can't fucking wait till next year.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, it's so much fun.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I'm coming, dude, I gotta see this fucking dig trap.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Well, if you wanna film me doing it, we'll we'll
do it at some point.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, not not today, because whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I hope hope to run into you again.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Let it heal, fucking dude, legend, Thank you brother. All right, man,
you're the best dude. Zach is not funny. That's his Instagram.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, Zach is not funny. Check out my podcast Zach
and Merch Uh yeah podcast meerch dot com is the website,
and then my podcast Zach Zach be Goes, Midnight Spook
Show and Bye Guys with Ian Finance, as well as
The Realist Podcast with Lewis J. Gomez.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Fuck Yeah, dude, legend.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Thank you brother, really appreciate checking.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
We'll check you out. All you guys subscribe and uh
welcome to the Shitties Podcast. Ever we're out.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Call him that.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Another one for the books, Shitty or Not. Might see
if the rat Trap is all it's hyped up to
be at this year's skank Fest, but maybe not. We're
all booked to the gills here until next time, Stay safe,
Stay Shitty.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
The Shittiest Podcast is produced by the World's Worst People,
Tyler Nielsen, Ryan Tillotson, Frank Driscoll and narrated by Me
the Narrator.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Special thanks to the straw Hut team.
Straw Hot Media.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
We were on. I was joking. I was joking. I
got kicked out of the hotel today. Yep, all right.
I think we might have a message back from that
Tom from Tom, but we got Zach on here. No
no message back.
Speaker 3 (00:19):
Oh hey, you're scared, you ever loving shit out of me.
Never expect to see when you're gonna pop up. Welcome
back to another episode of.
Speaker 4 (00:26):
The Shittiest Podcast. Today, we have another guest that headlines
skank fests. You remember skank Fest boy, I do a
Las Vegas comedy at Metal Festival in twenty twenty two,
and we'll be back for skank Fest twenty twenty three
this September.
Speaker 3 (00:39):
The name Zachamiko the background. He's a New Jersey comedian,
show run a filmmaker, and occasional guests on several popular
reality TV shows Hot The Body of Work. I'm sorry,
I'll stop doing the Joe Pesci The Body of Work,
Gun Dick, Cocked and Loaded Science Team, and a screen
darling and co creator for the famous or infamous movie
(00:59):
production house Trauma Films. I still remember him watching their
cult hit The Toxic Avenger. It's a solid word to
the wives, don't.
Speaker 1 (01:07):
Watch it with your family around. It'll get weird.
Speaker 3 (01:10):
Fast warnings and stipulations out of the way.
Speaker 4 (01:12):
Let's get on with the show and hopefully this wasn't
shot in a hotel hallway this time.
Speaker 1 (01:17):
Here's to you, poops.
Speaker 2 (01:20):
I'm usually here like raging, getting blacked out, and it's
like the first time that I'm not put your.
Speaker 1 (01:24):
Hands together for movies.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
He's a fucking third generation side show show dude, He's
a legend.
Speaker 1 (01:34):
Probably the shittiest podcast in the world.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
Alright, you guys, welcome to the shittiest podcast ever. We
got Zach. How do you say? That is not funny?
Zach is not funny on this Zach and Miko, It's good.
I'm so new to this comedy freaking world. Dude, it's crazy.
I'm like, I feel like an idiot.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
But do you I'm fucking pumped with one, dude.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
This is my first freaking skank fest. And yeah, it's
a trip. It's wild, right, it's a trip, dude. I'm like, dude,
I thought I was freaking crazy.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
You guys are crazy, bro.
Speaker 1 (02:11):
Yeah, we have a good time out here, buddy.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
For sure. I heard you like stabled your forehead or
your Yeah I did.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
I did staple gun last night. I think I got
stabled about forty times. Holy arms look great down my arms, belly, chest.
And then I told people hundreds only if you want
to do the forehead.
Speaker 2 (02:28):
Fuck yeah, I used a hustle.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
I used carpet staples. Oh and I had to take
them out with flyers. So fuck yeah. I did five
in the forehead last night.
Speaker 2 (02:38):
Dude, you're a legend. It's a little dent in your head,
for sure.
Speaker 1 (02:43):
I got a bunch of scud this year. This one
is a razor blade. This one is a light tube.
Speaker 2 (02:48):
Fuck dude. Yeah, get it, dude, I love it. I
want to smell some ship. Dude. I'm just like, oh, yeah,
I'm too scared of just going to the hospital because
I hate getting stitches.
Speaker 1 (02:58):
I have never gotten stitches. You're so lucky to do super
glue everything.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Yeah, I mean that that works for sure. Definitely. Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:06):
Yeah. This this long one right here, you could see skull. Yeah,
and I literally super glued it like five times.
Speaker 2 (03:12):
Yeah. That's why there's a that's why it's a g
narley scar.
Speaker 1 (03:15):
Yeah. Well, I mean I kind of wanted it. Yeah,
I wasn't that good. Looking to start with. Yeah, I
figured let's give me a little more carried go.
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Dude, So is that real black eyes you got? No, no,
tell me it is.
Speaker 1 (03:25):
I just wanted to. I just wanted to look good
for you.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
Yeah I know. Yeah, yeah, I got a scrap last
night too, but yeah I.
Speaker 1 (03:31):
Could, I don't. I only I only harmed myself.
Speaker 2 (03:33):
Yeah that's cool. The same here, but yeah, it's all
I'm all new to this, so yeah, I love it. Though.
I've seen some guys wrestling or like naked they're fucking
naked wrestling or.
Speaker 1 (03:43):
Some ship so they had.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
When I see that, I could look turned my head
on fucking oh the naked roast.
Speaker 1 (03:52):
Yeah yeah, yeah, so this is my doing the naked roast.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
Yeah, so the naked roast. That's what I wanted to
get to the fifth of your naked roast.
Speaker 1 (04:01):
Yeah. So it's like, uh, basically, when we're coming up
with Skangfest, we're all sitting in our friend's apartment trying
to figure out what our shows were gonna be, and
they asked me what to do. And the two dumbest
things I've ever heard of are roast Battle, where two
comics make fun of each other and they used to
do a thing called the Naked Show where comics had
to perform naked. So I said, let's do naked roast.
(04:23):
I'm hosting it naked. The judges are naked and all
the battlers are naked.
Speaker 2 (04:28):
Yeah, and you just fucking call out all their flaws.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
It's pretty fun. And it's so funny because when a
dude is losing, you watch you watch his dick fall
into him. If he's when you're doing good, your dick
like relaxes and if you start to bomb, your dick hides.
So some dudes start with a decent piece and then
they bomb and their decks like, hey, this is your
(04:52):
problem and just hide the shirt.
Speaker 2 (04:54):
That's so fucking funny.
Speaker 1 (04:57):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, I kind of missed that. I'm glad I kind
of missed that though, But it's it's uh was fucking
was someone like drinking piss off off you or something?
Speaker 1 (05:06):
Oh that was many years ago. Fear threw a couple
of piss in my face. Uh, here's a sociopath. I
don't know if you know that about him.
Speaker 2 (05:14):
No, I never met him.
Speaker 1 (05:16):
He's yeah, he's a sociopath. And I had walked off
stage and took a razor blade and did this scar up,
but I sucked it up and I hit a vein,
so I was all fucked up. And I walked out
and Ari just stood up naked and put his dick
in a cup like this and filled it a piss
and he looks at me, and I went, oh, he's
(05:36):
gonna throw that at me. And I thought to myself,
oh no, but I accidentally also said oh no, and
you're like, as he threw it, it just nothing but mouth.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
Oh fuck. Oh so right when he spoke, it was
oh no, oh fuck, he was on to it.
Speaker 1 (05:55):
Yeah he got me.
Speaker 3 (05:55):
Good, were you know my instinct reaction to that, go
about my way, go about my day. Someone does that
that someone's dying later that night, kitens.
Speaker 2 (06:07):
Yeah, he knew what he was doing.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
And everybody's like wiring you man like cause it was
fucking the funniest thing he could have done. I can't
get mad at that. Hilarious.
Speaker 2 (06:15):
It didn't hurt you. It was like liquid.
Speaker 1 (06:17):
Yeah, it's sterile.
Speaker 2 (06:19):
See yeah. See that's that's what like people get to
like they take it too personal sometimes.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
If everybody had a great time and we both came
out looking funnier.
Speaker 2 (06:29):
Yeah, that's all I care a dude for sure. Yeah.
We used to have this guy that passed out at
the surf shop. He'd we'd be like, hey, watch the shop,
you know, because the owner had to go do something
like run an errand or something. Then we'd we'd like
be in the back skating. We had a little mini
ramp and this guy would fucking pass out. His name
was Paul Sack, and this guy would pass out and
(06:49):
he then customers would come in and he'd be sleeping.
But before the customers would come in, we'd go over
there and write ship all over his face. So he'd
get up with fucking cock and balls and who knows
what on his fucking face, and he goes up to
the customers like can I help you? And the customers
are like, just like they would fucking look at him
and just turn around and leave. It was kind of
bad business. We're fucking not promoting it, but we're definitely
(07:12):
laughing our asses off because this guy didn't not know. Yeah,
it's kind of fucked up, but it's just having fun,
you know. It didn't harm anyone, you know, And plus
if you pass out tripping, someone's fucked up like that's
some punk shit, dude. I used to get tripped all
the time. I was over that.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
I used to hang out with a bunch of like
uh street punk kids in Silly and they lived in
this They called it the trash house, damned, and it
was a bunch of kids, like a big punk house
and to to like almost like a gang initiation if
you live there. If you were drunk walking home with
them and they saw a big pile of garbage, everyone
would grab one of your limbs, lift you and throw
(07:50):
you in the garbage pile. And that's how you got
like initiated into the trash house.
Speaker 2 (07:54):
Fucking classics. See that doesn't happen anymore, No, not at all.
I know these kids are soft these days, dude.
Speaker 1 (08:00):
Out these punk host is now, they're like they care
about like equality.
Speaker 2 (08:03):
Yeah, it's like what's going on with the next iPhone
or something.
Speaker 1 (08:06):
Yeah, dude, I used to I used to live with
the fucking all. I used to stay it so many trashy.
Speaker 2 (08:10):
As Boston now from Jersey, Jersey. Fuck yeah, I've been
to Jersey. The beach is there. I tripped out how
to pay to go on the beach?
Speaker 1 (08:19):
Oh?
Speaker 2 (08:19):
Did we used to have to go surfing and they're like, no,
you gotta pay, you gotta fucking pay to I was like, what.
Speaker 1 (08:25):
We used to sneak on. We would go to Atlantic City,
but we would leave it like midnight and then Campbell
till you know the nine and then sleep on the
beach like bou sleep and shrifts get kicked off. Yeah,
and sleep on the beach so that we didn't have
to pay for house right there. Yeah, that's the best, dude,
fucking degenerate ship.
Speaker 2 (08:43):
Atlantic City was sick, dude, I freaking we were there
doing a tour for Bodyglove. I'm from Maine to fucking
Atlantic City. It was our last stop and this cop
hit us up. He's a big fan and he's like, dude,
I brought my fucking shoe. He's an officer. He's like,
I brought my fucking shoe for you, fucking on duty
for it for twelve years. And dude, I was like,
how many people do you rest in this boot? He's like,
(09:05):
fucking at least like three hundred, and he fucking I
did a shoey out of it. Dude. I could feel
like the cotton ball, fucking foot tar whatever it is.
Fucking toe jam bro it was fucked, but yeah, it
was epic time, dude. But yeah, Atlantic City is fucked.
Speaker 1 (09:20):
Atlantic City is exactly what. It's funny because we're in Vegas,
but Atlantic City is exactly what it sounds like, which
is what if Las Vegas sucked and was in New Jersey.
Speaker 2 (09:28):
I'd rather be in Atlantic City than Vegas. Yeah, I
think so. I'm getting shut down everywhere here, dude. I
just gotta take down my hotel. Yeah, riding my e
bike in the hotel, yeah, do it? Well, I mean
this is the.
Speaker 1 (09:43):
Put the the fucking hallways are so fucking long.
Speaker 2 (09:45):
This thing was huge, fucking enonymous, and they're like, Nope,
you can't do that. Three oh six got called too
many times. I think they're over that number.
Speaker 1 (09:55):
Yeah, a million other places.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
Yeah, I packed out, I said they thinks thanks a lot.
Oh yeah, it's pretty funny. I'll go. But yeah, it's
been fun here. Vegas is sick. I'm usually here like
raging and getting blacked out, and it's like the first
time that I'm not.
Speaker 1 (10:10):
I got into it, did you. Yeah? I went to
Better around seven.
Speaker 2 (10:13):
Fuck yeah dude. On fumes.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Oh yeah, yeah, we were We had a good We were.
We were pretty into it during the roast battle and
then they kept out. Yeah I was. I was sitting
at the casino around seven o'clock this morning.
Speaker 2 (10:24):
And get a little What were you playing?
Speaker 1 (10:26):
Oh no, I was sitting at the bar.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
Oh there you go, Yeah I was.
Speaker 1 (10:29):
I was. I only gamble with my.
Speaker 2 (10:31):
Health, that's good. Yeah, I spent too much money gambling,
So I'm glad I stayed away from the fucking casino
this time.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
Yeah, I can. I'm too much a child.
Speaker 2 (10:38):
I'll lose my money and then I'm like, yeah, i
can get it back and get back and try getting
it back, and I'm just like losing my ass. Dude.
Next thing, you know, three g's are gone. It's like, yeah,
there's my fucking vacation money. Now we gotta go home.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yeah I have I have no self control with like that.
I to stay away from it.
Speaker 2 (10:54):
Yeah, you gotta. You gotta fucking write sentences, dude, you
gotta write fucking self controls.
Speaker 1 (10:58):
I'd rather spend them. I rather spend them only on
booze and drugs.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
And yeah that's fun, you know, bad food. Yeah, you know,
it's your life. You do what you want when it
makes you happy?
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Is this whole fucking fest has been a fucking bast
everybody's been killing so cool, dude, Yeah, everybody's been so
fucking generous and cool. Yeah, dude, everyone doing stable gun
last night, I was fucking cleaned.
Speaker 2 (11:17):
They're probably so pumped you fucking did that. And then
I went outside was probably like the your m v
P last night.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
And I went out in the lobby and I told people, Hey,
if anybody wants I got I got like about twenty
more staples left, and I sat out in.
Speaker 2 (11:30):
The lobby, darnating them out.
Speaker 1 (11:32):
Yeah no, no, no, I took them.
Speaker 2 (11:33):
Oh you took Yeah, I talked about forty last night. Yes, dude,
I wish I was there.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (11:39):
Did you get footage of it?
Speaker 3 (11:41):
No?
Speaker 1 (11:41):
So the deal with Naked Roast is no canter because
a lot, I mean it's put that on anything to do. Yeah,
and a lot of comics are yeah, yeah, you want
your privacy, So sure we tell people we policed the room.
If anybody gets caught.
Speaker 2 (11:55):
With their phone out, they're getting fucking you don't.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Even check a text, You're out your band from the
festival for life. Yeah fu, that's how we get like
you know I would be up there last night. Like
we get like cool people to come and do it, dude,
because they know men, because they know they won't get filmed.
Speaker 2 (12:11):
Yeah for sure. Yeah, like that's the the trust they have,
you know.
Speaker 1 (12:17):
And plus there's something oddly cool about something being a
live experience only like only those people in the room
will ever get that. Yeah, and I kind of love that.
Speaker 2 (12:26):
Yeah, that's that's like makes it like genuine you know.
Speaker 1 (12:29):
Yeah, it's like a very it's a shared experience.
Speaker 2 (12:32):
Definitely, you have to be there just you know, it's
like one of those like a lists celebrity like parties
or something.
Speaker 1 (12:38):
Well, yeah, it's just a thing that nobody will ever
know about unless they really It makes it a lot
better because then the legend kind of grows.
Speaker 2 (12:47):
Yeah, so it's like hears about it, but never sees it,
you know what I mean.
Speaker 1 (12:51):
Yeah, So no matter what, it sounds better than it probably.
Speaker 2 (12:54):
Was for sure. For sure, you gotta hype it up. Yeah, definitely, dude.
That's when I go on like surf Shop, so I'm like, yeah,
it was so good. The ways are shitty, you gotta
tell you boys, you know, the ways you're pumping.
Speaker 3 (13:05):
You know, We're gonna be taking a quick poop break
out there, so soon we'll go over some subjects that
should have been brought up in the Doctor Drew episode
that can be found here unless our.
Speaker 1 (13:14):
Editors out to Cabo more when we get back and
we're live. Are we we are? And we're back. We're live.
Speaker 4 (13:29):
Hope you got a chance to grab something while we
were out. Let's get back to the show for a
few more shitty topics between Zach and Pools.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Yeah, I just re scored.
Speaker 1 (13:37):
I started doing this new bit this year that I
stole from a sideshow buddy, my buddy lunchbox. So I
have a two gauge Prince albert A gun. Mm hmm,
let's let's I have a two gauge captive bead ring
through the head of my deck.
Speaker 2 (13:52):
Oh fuck. So last night I was like, what is that?
Speaker 1 (13:57):
Last night I hung to Tall Boys above light off
and I had two fans get on their knees and
they like Bobby for apples, but they beers off my deck.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
Fucking epic.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
And but it's so funny because they both tug either side,
and my little Dick is just going, yeah, I still
my buddy Joe does it off. He's got a piercing
on either side of his balls.
Speaker 2 (14:22):
Uh did you guys?
Speaker 1 (14:24):
Yeah, I put a caribbe. I put a like a
mountain climbing clip through my deck. I put a carabine.
Speaker 2 (14:28):
It fu Yeah, you hang yourself by your dick?
Speaker 1 (14:32):
No, God, that's the real stuff. I've thought, I don't
do that. The biggest thing I've ever hung off it
was I did an iron.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
Do with bungees. Though. You put bungees underneath you and
it helps you support.
Speaker 1 (14:46):
So I've done a gallon drug of water. I've done
a six pack of glass bottles.
Speaker 2 (14:52):
Damn.
Speaker 1 (14:53):
Yeah, it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Could you hang drum off off of it?
Speaker 1 (14:57):
I I feel like that's the animal. Oh yeah, no, you
know that's I.
Speaker 2 (15:02):
Wouldn't say I was just the weight weight size, you know,
fifteen to twenty pounds.
Speaker 1 (15:05):
Yeh, that's too much too, I would I would probably
tap out around here.
Speaker 2 (15:09):
You got to get the bungeies. Did they help? Like
you could? You could like get that would be a
sick shot, though, if you're like hanging like yeah flat,
laying flat with your dick kind of stretched.
Speaker 1 (15:18):
Well, I'm nervous because there was a guy that you
ever heard of, Jim Rose Sideshow Circus. Yes, they toured
with nine inch nails and Manson.
Speaker 2 (15:24):
Yeah, yeah, they're legends.
Speaker 1 (15:25):
Yeah. They had a guy the Enigma, and he would
do away, he would do he would hang it off
as Prince Albert and he ripped his dick in half. Oh, Mike,
so he had a forkd dick.
Speaker 2 (15:36):
Oh it went to so tough it went.
Speaker 1 (15:39):
It went like a snake tongue. Yeah, because he couldn't
get it fixed.
Speaker 2 (15:43):
Oh my god, dude, that's fucked.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
So I'm very apprehensive about what I'll put on.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
I'm like putting that in my head.
Speaker 1 (15:48):
I won't do anything on stage. I haven't tested at
home first.
Speaker 2 (15:51):
Yeah that's good.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
I'm just like, I don't want you don't want to
have that happened. I don't want the day where I
have to go.
Speaker 2 (15:56):
Go viral, though you'll go fucking viral.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Yeah, fucking fat cocking hairs a B.
Speaker 2 (16:04):
That's the one. No, I would I do not fucking
wished that upon anyone as.
Speaker 3 (16:09):
Says anything with the Jackass crew and poopies in general,
who fucking try this ship at home?
Speaker 1 (16:14):
Yeah? I used to be a little more wild than Willy.
But I'm fucking thirty five now, man.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
Yeah, chegs it out. I'm thirty five too. My birthday
is in like a week. I'm gonna fucking be thirty six.
I'm like, I don't feel thirty six though, I'm like
just now growing up to.
Speaker 1 (16:31):
A mile out old. This morning, getting up after two
days of doing staple gun.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
Yeah really that that was your act though? You killed it?
You know how many people are fucking psyched on that
and saw that though? Yeah, people have compression on people's
in people's tree. Yeah yeah, he saw some guy fucking
staple in his head and Ship it is sick.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah. They asked me, can you do the show three
times next year? And already yeah yeah, yeah get me
and that's it. Listen to your body unless they offer
me a lot more money than I figured it out.
Speaker 2 (17:00):
That's what I'm talking about, dude. I A'm doing Ship
unless there's a contract.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
Yeah for sure. Yeah. If the check clears, baby, we'll talk.
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Yeah. Yeah the check clears, I hope it clear.
Speaker 1 (17:08):
Is like, oh no, they've been great, so this is
the best.
Speaker 2 (17:12):
Yeah, that's what's up, dude. That's cool.
Speaker 1 (17:14):
But yeah, these guys are all like I've been with
them my whole comedy career.
Speaker 2 (17:18):
Your family. Yeah, yeah, fu yeah, I could see it, dude,
like I saw. I saw Shane Grillis yesterday, and I
seen fuck a lot of other guys. Dude, I just
my brain's not that.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Fun dudes that are brain's not that fond of funny
people are here in that green room. There's something like
the most talented people in America.
Speaker 2 (17:37):
I know. I wish I knew like all of them.
You know, I just gotta do. I just gotta keep
watching comedy and stuff and just practicing it.
Speaker 1 (17:43):
And I mean even the ledgers that are like a
tel Norton Voss Uh, I'm good.
Speaker 2 (17:48):
With I'm good with faces. If I see the face,
I'm like, oh, I've seen him.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
He's alleged fucking incredible.
Speaker 2 (17:58):
I don't know. The last one I did was with
l A at the Improv. That was cool. That was
my third stand up I've ever done. Good. I talked
about this story where I fucking like save this homeless
dude and freaking put him in my board bag in
the back of my truck and took him, took him
on a little mission to Long Beach, and yeah, he
slept in the back of my truck, and yeah, I
(18:18):
found him on the fucking He was in the middle
of the roads on sitting in like Indian style, like
in the middle of this roundabout. I go, dude, what
the fuck are you doing? Bro? He goes oh, and
I go get in my truck. I go, I'm gonna
drop you off safe for a spot. I fell back
from him, so I let him sleep in the back
of my truck. But I put a sleeping bag back there,
(18:39):
in a board bag, like surfboard bag. It's like really
long and big and you can like zip it up.
So I zipped him up and then dude, I got
a call that there's this party and I had to go.
So I was like, dude, I don't know, there's this
guy in the back of my truck. So I woke
him up. I go, hey, do you don't mind fucking
staying in the back of my truck. I'm gonna be
going fast. He's like, no, I'm fine. So I bungeed
them fucking down and I fucking took off to Long
(19:02):
Beach and on the freeway.
Speaker 1 (19:04):
That's sick, dude.
Speaker 2 (19:05):
Yeah, it was funny though, Like I've watched dude. He
was on like suicide watch, bro. But yeah, no, didn't
get pulled over. It would have been so funny if
I did, though, Dude, they'd be like, what the fuck
are you doing?
Speaker 1 (19:17):
Guy?
Speaker 2 (19:17):
Yeah, I told Knoxville this one.
Speaker 1 (19:19):
Dude.
Speaker 2 (19:19):
He starts laughing. Dude, He's like, dude, you're gonna get
trouble over kiddingnapping, bro.
Speaker 1 (19:24):
Because I bet his version of the story wouldn't look
good on your end. No, you just threw me in
the truck. Yeah, Like I'm being.
Speaker 2 (19:31):
Like, I'm trying to help the dude. But then like
the next day, I freaking drove him back in the
back of my truck, like in the cab. So it
was it was fun.
Speaker 3 (19:40):
Poopy's sometimes doing unintended public service.
Speaker 1 (19:43):
That's cool, man.
Speaker 2 (19:44):
Yeah, fucking had to save the dude, dude. Some kid
would have run him over for sure.
Speaker 1 (19:48):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (19:49):
It was all dark. I barely saw him, dude, and
he was you know, he's black, so he's I can't
really see that well when it's dark night out, you know,
it's like, but yeah, it was nuts. I saved the dude,
and yeah, it was a good feeling.
Speaker 1 (20:03):
That's a cool story, dude.
Speaker 2 (20:04):
I'm sure that that was I told that to the
Jason Ows. Thing I had like supposed to do two minutes,
it lasted like eight minutes or some shit. They're like
pink pink, pink, pink with the light. I'm like, oh fuck, yeah,
it's cool.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
Yeah, you'll get used to it. It's the timing is
really hard. Sometimes you think you did ten and you
did two, and sometimes you think you did two and
you did fifteen.
Speaker 2 (20:23):
No, I don't even look at the clock. I'm just
so in the moment, you know, like everyone looking at
me and trying to tell my funny joke.
Speaker 1 (20:28):
That's why all old comics always have nice watches. That's
like they look at all old comics they always have
It's like a big thing. Old comics love a nice watch. Yeah,
and I realized it's for timing.
Speaker 2 (20:39):
I see, yeah, I gotta get a watch.
Speaker 1 (20:43):
Because it doesn't look cool to take your phone out
through your set. It looks like you're looking at yeah yeah.
But if you look at your watch, yeah, exactly, you
look like you just look.
Speaker 2 (20:52):
At it like boom, okay, we're on. I see I
gotta get a watch now, just for stand up.
Speaker 1 (20:57):
Maybe it sounds dumb, but it really no, that's so yeah,
especially when you're learning timing.
Speaker 2 (21:02):
Yeah, exactly, because my time's off. Like I just blabber on.
Speaker 1 (21:06):
I do story like I do. I'm a storyteller comment
so like I can't. My closer is twelve minutes long. Yeah.
So like if I get lit and I haven't started
it yet, I just kind of.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Have to go yeah right, You're like, okay, this is
what I got. Yeah, yeah, I just I gotta cut
it off.
Speaker 1 (21:22):
Yea, are really long?
Speaker 2 (21:24):
Come back to part two? Yeah, yeah, yeah, sick hell yeah. Okay.
So when I was growing up, they called us the
state beach rats, like we're like some surf crew fucking
the cops out. We were gang, but we weren't. We're
just some kids that hung out the beach, but we
did do fucked up ship. So they called this the
state beach rats. So I want to know about you
mentioned the rat trap? What's the rat trap?
Speaker 1 (21:44):
All right? So the last few years I've closed naked
roasts with I put my dick in a rat trap.
Speaker 2 (21:48):
Fuck yes, and that's uh, give a little back, dude.
You should fucking let me do that bit, dude.
Speaker 1 (21:55):
Uh, the backstory on it is, uh, I got a
great friend who's a third generation side show. His name
is Reverend Arlow Price.
Speaker 2 (22:04):
Dude, he's a legend. Probably he's the man.
Speaker 1 (22:07):
He's great.
Speaker 2 (22:08):
He's been doing shows, whole third generation side show.
Speaker 1 (22:10):
Grandpa did it his You ever seen the lady that
crushes the bear cans with a giant faked tits, that's.
Speaker 2 (22:16):
His, am, Shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1 (22:18):
The whole family does blood. Yeah, and I I was
working on a movie in Buffalo, New York. I work
with the company Trollman, the Toxic Avengers like that, and
we're having a rat party and I do stand up
in the two of the other actors that stand up,
and Arlow was in the movie. So I said, hey,
let me book an after party and we'll be comics
(22:38):
and we'll have Rlow do tricks in between. And did
all his bits. So then I closed, thank you goodnight.
And he didn't know that in comedy, the last comic
closes that the host doesn't do another thing. Okay, So
he comes out with his rat trap and does it
on his tongue, and he's been doing it for years.
He's got a nice callous on it. Uh.
Speaker 2 (23:00):
Okay, Dallas, he's got a Callas and I'm like, ship.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
Well, this is my this is my show. So I
walked back out and I whispered his year, has anyone
done that on their deck? And he went, I had
that one other guy in Sideto does it. But he
goes no, and I went, he set the bar, all right,
let's do it. And I walked under the bar. I
took my dick out and uh, the first time I
(23:27):
did it, sucked the whole base. My dick bruised up,
and uh, I don't know the how dirty I could
be on there, go for it. Beautiful little chubby goth
girl in the crowd takes me back to her car
and she starts to suck my deck and she looks
up at me and she goes, your dick day is
(23:48):
like blood, no way, and we should probably just fuck
the right. Yeah. Yeah, So that that's how the rat
traps started.
Speaker 2 (24:02):
So heavy.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
I'll do every once in a while. If I'll do
a show that's like very like circusy or freak show
stuff and the club is cool with it, you always
ask yeah, especially if they serve alcohol.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
Oh you'll get kicked out.
Speaker 1 (24:15):
No, not even if they serve alcohol, You going to jail.
Depending on the place on the cabaret laws.
Speaker 2 (24:20):
There's no fun ham sandwiches at two am. No, no, no,
and then woke up at at four am, and uh.
Speaker 1 (24:25):
So, uh every once in a while I'll do the
rat trap and uh so there's just a mouse trap.
Oh every skank fest and then you know if if
if it if the show is appropriate for it, and
I know there's other nudity on it. Yeah, I'll do it.
I try. You know. It's not something I want to
do every weekend.
Speaker 2 (24:43):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we might have to get together and
do a fucking rat trap.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Dude, I'd be very happy to do it. And yeah,
so actually i'll show you what it looks like. I
won't do it, but no, it's all good. So yeah,
this is a mouse traps. Is the original one I
know I've been using. I buy a new one because
I give them away.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
Okay, oh fuck, yeah, you gotta sign it.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yeah, well, I was gonna you should have a little
stamp on your tonight, I'm gonna ask people. I'm gonna
auction it off and give the money to the Trevor
Project fun project. The Trevor Project is a suicide prevention
for l g B t Q youth and uh it's
my favorite charity. Yeah, what's l gb Q to youth, gay, Lesbian,
(25:24):
transgender Okay, suicide prevention program, that's what's for young queer kids.
Speaker 2 (25:29):
So I was gonna sign this and uh hey they
need they need more love than anyone and.
Speaker 1 (25:32):
Uh so yeah, fuck yeah this is uh not to put.
Speaker 2 (25:38):
Their dick in it. Oh yeah, absolutely should write down
on there.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
This is what a rat was like.
Speaker 2 (25:42):
Oh fuck, this one's big. Yeah, careful and that's your
dick in there.
Speaker 1 (25:46):
Watch.
Speaker 2 (25:48):
Oh my god, you are fucked.
Speaker 1 (25:50):
Yeah. It hurts every time, bro, every time I do it.
I went, oh yeah that still hurts.
Speaker 2 (25:55):
Yeah, I'm sure you have nightmares of it.
Speaker 1 (25:58):
Pretty I mean it's pretty funny.
Speaker 2 (25:59):
Yeah, and people love that you fucking support it, Like, dude,
I can't fucking wait till next year.
Speaker 1 (26:08):
Yeah, it's so much fun.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
I'm coming, dude, I gotta see this fucking dig trap.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Well, if you wanna film me doing it, we'll we'll
do it at some point.
Speaker 2 (26:15):
Yeah, not not today, because whatever.
Speaker 1 (26:17):
I hope hope to run into you again.
Speaker 2 (26:19):
Let it heal, fucking dude, legend, Thank you brother. All right, man,
you're the best dude. Zach is not funny. That's his Instagram.
Speaker 1 (26:29):
Yeah, Zach is not funny. Check out my podcast Zach
and Merch Uh yeah podcast meerch dot com is the website,
and then my podcast Zach Zach be Goes, Midnight Spook
Show and Bye Guys with Ian Finance, as well as
The Realist Podcast with Lewis J. Gomez.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
Fuck Yeah, dude, legend.
Speaker 1 (26:46):
Thank you brother, really appreciate checking.
Speaker 2 (26:48):
We'll check you out. All you guys subscribe and uh
welcome to the Shitties Podcast. Ever we're out.
Speaker 1 (26:56):
Call him that.
Speaker 4 (26:56):
Another one for the books, Shitty or Not. Might see
if the rat Trap is all it's hyped up to
be at this year's skank Fest, but maybe not. We're
all booked to the gills here until next time, Stay safe,
Stay Shitty.
Speaker 3 (27:10):
The Shittiest Podcast is produced by the World's Worst People,
Tyler Nielsen, Ryan Tillotson, Frank Driscoll and narrated by Me
the Narrator.
Speaker 4 (27:18):
Special thanks to the straw Hut team.
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