Sexual Assault and Sibs

This month, Founder of the Natalie Project, Julie Neward, shares her story, discusses statistics and causes of sexual assault in the disability community and tells us about how we can advocate for change with our siblings.

PLEASE NOTE: This podcast episode is about sexual assault and may contain content that is unsuitable for listeners under the age of 18 and may contain triggers for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised.  

Access the transcript of this episode here.
Acceda a la transcripción en español.

"I really do want to lean on our sib community to take action on this issue, because at the end of the day...we [siblings] will most likely have to face the issue of sexual abuse given the staggering numbers."  —Julie Neward

Resources in this episode:

•  the Natalie Project
• Contact Julie Neward at [e-mail]
• The Disability Without Abuse Project
• NPR Series: Abused and Betrayed
• Combating Violence and Abuse of People with Disabilities: A Call to Action by Nancy Fitzsimons M.S.W. Ph.D.
• The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network: Sexual Abuse of People with Disabilities
• The Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network: Recovering from Sexual Violence
• Right Care Now Project
• Options for All Productions
• Pediatric Epilepsy Surgery Alliance
• Diana Pastora Carson, M.Ed.
• Elevatus
• Mad Hatter Wellness 
• Sexuality for All Abilities 1st Edition by Katie Thune and Molly Gage 
• Nicky’s Law
• Disability Rights California
• California Self-Determination Program Network
• Tarana J. Burke and the Me Too movement
• Kelly's Hollywood Film

Support the show

Episode Transcript

Chris Berstler (00:00):
This podcast episode is about sexual assault,

(00:03):
and may contain content that isunsuitable for listeners under
the age of 18 and may containtriggers for some listeners,
listener discretion is advised.
Welcome to the siblingLeadership Network podcast. The
sibling Leadership Network is anational nonprofit whose mission
is to provide siblings ofindividuals with disabilities

(00:25):
the information support andtools to advocate with their
brothers and sisters and topromote the issues important to
us and our entire families.
Hello, and thank you for joiningus for another episode of the
sibling Leadership NetworkPodcast. Today I am joined by
the founder of the Natalieproject. Julie newgard. Julie,

(00:46):
thank you so much for being herewith us today.

Julie Neward (00:48):
Thank you, Chris.
Happy to be here.

Chris Berstler (00:50):
Can you please tell the audience about yourself
and your sibling?

Julie Neward (00:54):
Yeah, so I'm a native Californian, which is
super fun. My dad is actuallyfrom India, my mom's from
Indiana from Chicago area. Andthey migrated west to the San
Francisco Bay area. So I'm theoldest of four siblings spanning
over eight years. And currently,I live in beautiful North

(01:14):
County, San Diego married I havetwo little girls who are 10 and
six, and my career is actuallymanaging shopping malls. So I've
been managing properties forabout 20 years, I took a
business track in my life. Butoutside work and family, I'm a
pretty big advocate when I canbe and let me tell you with a
full time job and kids, itsqueeze it in everywhere I can

(01:38):
because I'm just so passionate.
So I'm co founder of TheCalifornia Chapter of the
National Sibling LeadershipNetwork. And I'm also what I
would say Project Director ofwhat we're here today to discuss
which is the Natalie project.

Chris Berstler (01:52):
Please tell us about the Natalie project and
why you founded it.

Julie Neward (01:55):
Yeah, so Natalie, the Natalie project is the
namesake of my sister Natalie,who's the second oldest. So
Natalie, a little bit about mysister so you can get to know
her she was born what we saytypical. And then she fell into
a coma that left her braindamaged when she was younger.

(02:15):
And around that time, my mom, myamazing mother was pregnant with
my brother. And so when Nataliefell in that coma and came out
of it again, she was left braindamage, very, very high support
names. And so a lot of attentionwent to her. And then a couple
of years later, there was mybeautiful surprise sister,
Patricia, and the Natalieproject. And just to cut to the

(02:42):
chase here, before I dive in, Ijust want the audience to know,
this is a really sensitivesubject. And it's pretty
traumatic. So I just want tomake sure everybody here knows
we're about to dive into someinformation and some details
that may trigger you. So dowhatever you need to do to you
know, understand the impact ofthis heavy topic on the

(03:03):
community and what to do aboutit. But also take time for your
own mental health as we talkabout these things. So again, to
cut to the chase, April 2 2012,I learned that my sister Natalie
was the survivor of of sexualabuse that are day program. So

(03:24):
in regards to California SIBS islearned as I as soon as I
learned that my sister was asurvivor. I wanted to I quickly
realized that one day I'll betaking care of her. So I you
know, I Googled like everybodynow I googled and I came across
the National Sibling LeadershipNetwork, because as life goes
on, who am I going to trust totake care of her? So with that

(03:46):
Google search result, I cameacross the National Sibling
Leadership Network and thought,Heck, yeah, this is amazing.
Let's look at California andCalifornia didn't have a
chapter. So I got my brother tosign the initiating documents
along with another sibling. Andwe started that California
Chapter. And that was reallydriven out of the trauma of
learning that my sister Nataliewas very high support needs as a

(04:08):
survivor of sexual abuse. Andthen with that, over time, I got
connected to an amazing womanagain through Google searches
named Dr. Nora Ballard, Aryan.
At that time, she was part ofthe disability and abuse
project. Currently, she has anew partner, and it's the
disability without abuseproject, and I got to learn so
much. So the year that welearned about Natalie's

(04:31):
diagnosis of a sexuallytransmitted infection, which was
2012 it was the same year that Igot married and it was the same
year my brother got married andso I was very blessed. And a
year later I had my firstdaughter nine months to the date
of my wedding, and I took mymaternity leave to attend Dr.
Nora ballinderry and disabilityand abuse roundtable in LA we

(04:52):
drove What is it seven hoursfrom Northern California and
then I learned I'm not alone. Ilearned all this staggering
statistics. And so let me dialin on Natalie's case a little
bit for the audience. And thisis this is the fire that
continues in me to this day. Butwith Natalie, again, she's very
high support needs. We knew shewas a victim at her day program.

(05:16):
Because she only lived withwomen in the home. My parents
are divorced. So it was my momand my younger sister, Patricia.
And, quite honestly, there wasno help. So we took Natalie out
of the program, we kept her homefor four years straight, nobody
filed the mandated report. Icalled the police. They came,

(05:38):
they investigated. And to thisday, I'm over 10 years later,
that police report is stillopen. There was a civil suit,
this lovely place where theexecutive director told us not
to report it to the police cameto us. And the facility settled
this vendored facility withpublic funds settled with

(06:05):
taxpayer dollars. And after anumber of years, you know, the
money was gone. And I will telleverybody, I had to manage those
payments to my mom monthly outof a trust. And fees were part
of that trust bonds are a partof that trust. I will tell you

(06:26):
right now that the systemburdens the victim and protects
perpetrators. And I don't wantany sibling to have to endure
what our family has had toendure. And that is why the
Natalie project started. Andwhat I want to offer the
community is based upon whatI've learned, is a path to
justice and healing. And I amstill working on all of this.

(06:47):
I'm not an expert. But theNatalie project was started
about two years ago, we haveabout 40 advisory board members
from across the nation. We havesomebody in Canada, who's a self
advocate with human traffickingexperience, actually. And, you
know, our goal really is to growthe awareness that abuse in the
community is very high. It isvery high. So a couple of years

(07:10):
ago, Joe Shapiro, aninvestigative reporter with NPR,
National Public Radio waslooking for people to interview
and so I found out that he waslooking and I raised my hand.
And basically, the result ofthat was his whole series, a
week long series called abusedand betrayed. Oh, man, and in

(07:31):
that series, you know, welearned that people with
disabilities, the risk of thembeing sexually assaulted is
seven times higher than peoplewithout disabilities. We learned
it's usually by somebody theyknow during daylight hours. We
also learn that perpetratorstarget people with disabilities,

(07:54):
because they understand thatthey're not going to testify
later in court. And alsodistrict attorneys don't even
want to take the cases becausethey're hard to prove in court.
This really bothers me and thisreally upsets me. Because it's
almost like a lose losesituation. So, you know, that's,
that's not fair. So the Natalieproject is here to say, Listen,

(08:15):
we need we need to empowerpeople, and we really need to
empower families. My experiencein this whole project is as of a
sister, who is Natalie's caremanager from a very high level.
One day Natalie's caregiver, andI am Natalie's co conservator.
Okay, and my sister has veryhigh support needs. So that is

(08:38):
the world in which I advocated.
And I know there's a spectrum ofdisabilities and advocacy
levels. And I've learned a lotover the past couple of years
from several people, inparticular about ableism
discrimination accessibility, Ido want to take a moment to
apologize if I've ever offendedanybody because I'm on this path

(08:59):
learning. And I'm always here toto correct and get with the
program. So. So with that, whatwe've learned is a lot of people
with disabilities don't getsexual sex ed, they don't they
don't get sex ed, which is veryalarming given the statistics.
And that's something that we'regonna dive deeper into. And, you

(09:21):
know, they're viewed aschildlike. They're not viewed as
being able to engage, you know,in the act of sex. They are a
part of a culture of compliance,because people are always trying
to manage our loved onesbehavior with some sort of
reward system. And lastly, oursiblings require support to some

(09:46):
degree in their day to day life.
They are relying and trustingothers we as family members are
relying and trusting others. Andthis is a whole mix of, of
challenges that we have and youknow, in talking with the one
For a woman named Dr. NancyFitzsimmons, who authored a book
titled combating violence andabuse of people with

(10:06):
disabilities, which is currentlyout of print, but she's working
on a new book, you know, ourloved ones with disabilities are
not vulnerable, the system isvulnerable. And the system is
the one that we need to blame.
And it is hard to change asystem, it is not easy to change
a system. So what we have to dois really empower and give

(10:29):
families tools. And so in thestate of California, where I
live, and I will share with youthe work of the Natalie project
is across the nation, but I haveto start local, you know, Think
global, act local. And so inCalifornia, we have a regional
center system. And somethingthat we're going to advocate for
is in every meeting with your,you know, your social worker,

(10:50):
they need to start talking topeople about this epidemic of
abuse and that it's happeningand printer, Dr. Nora Ballard
Aryan, we need an individualresponse plan. For before,
during, and after abuse. What doyou want to do before, you want
to make sure your loved oneknows if they're able to

(11:11):
communicate how they communicatevarious details and practice
that. Because if they do come toyou stating that they're abused,
you want to be able tounderstand those communications
and take that information overto the authorities. You also
want to make sure that they knowthe names for body parts, you

(11:32):
know, and we don't need to gothrough those details, but you
want to make sure your loved oneknows that. And then you also
really want to know we talkedabout communication, my sister
communicates through herbehavior. And so something
important to mention here isNatalie's behavior told us for
over six months that she wasbeing sexually assaulted in her
day program. And this is wherethere's a trigger. So please, if

(11:56):
you if you need to mute or takea moment do so. But six months
prior Natalie had was bleedingfrom her anus. She had fecal
matter in her armpit. She wasn'turinating in her diaper. And she
was on her haunches at night.
And she was moaning becausethat's how she communicates
through various voiceinflections, which would be
recognized by the public asmoaning and, and she does that

(12:19):
for when she's hungry, tired.
And so looking back, all thesigns were there, and we as her
loved ones, we as her guardians,we are the ones and trusted with
her life missed it. We missed itbecause we didn't think this
could happen in Walnut Creek,California. We took her to the

(12:41):
doctor multiple times, theydidn't think it could happen.
Nobody tested her for STDs,they, they diagnosed her with
yeast infections, they diagnosedher with urinary tract
infections. Every time I thinkmy sister's diaper was changed,
she was being violated and shecouldn't tell us with words. Or

(13:03):
her behavior was very clear. Andthat's where I get very
compassionate for our siblingpopulation for our sub
population, because we need tobe able to understand and see
these behaviors and know whatthey mean given. And given the
amount of abuse in the communitythat that's written off as a
behavioral issue. And thenpeople are given

(13:23):
anti-psychotics. And in talkingwith a wonderful woman named Dr.
Susan Abend of the right carenow project, that's that's what
happens. People withdisabilities have behaviors
because of the trauma and theabuse. And it goes unrecognized.
Because we think it's just abehavioral issue. And really, at
the end of the day, they'reasking for help. And we have to

(13:45):
be able to read that. And that'swhat the Natalie project is here
for because my sister couldn'ttell me, I need to take that
knowledge and information wheneverybody listening. No, we have
to empower ourselves because thesystem is there to protect
itself. The system is not thereto protect us. We already know
there's a caregiver crisis. Wealready know about the high rate

(14:09):
of abuse. And we have to feelempowered, because I don't
accept this as a losing battle.
A lot of my advocacy over theyears led to a governor
appointed position on the StateCouncil for Developmental
Disabilities in California. AndI'm, and I'm so pleased to share
that that safety is one of ourpriorities. And I do look
forward to working with thecouncil and really prioritizing

(14:29):
the awareness of this issue on agrander scale. My term is up in
about a year and a half. And soI have 18 months to get this
done. So what else am I workingon? That empowers us, right? Oh
boy. So I did have a resolution.

(14:50):
I had an advocacy partner namedMarysol Rubio and a little plug.
She's running for State Senateup in the Bay Area, and she has
a daughter with a disability.
She and I worked together and wehad the California Democratic
Party, prioritize a resolutionwhich I, you know, it's not a
law yet, but we prioritize aresolution. And I'm new to this
whole game. And basically whatwe said is, anytime there is a

(15:12):
settlement of abuse, with aperson with a disability in
their family, and an entity thatis funded by taxpayers, we need
accountability and transparency.
So on a systemic level, whatwe're looking at is anytime
there's a case, there needs tobe some sort of report where

(15:38):
that entity is documented. Sofor example, if my sister's
let's say it's ABC facility, ABCfacility would say we're
settling a claim for abuse, itwas sexual abuse, this is the
date we settled, okay, we don'tneed to know who the victim is.
And we don't need to know theamount of money those are the
rights of the people that arepartying, the settlement. But

(16:01):
the organization needs to own upand know that abuse happens even
under their nose. And they needto tell us their corrective
action plan, because this ishappening. As a business woman,
the settlement agreements are atool to manage risk and
liability. All of the vendors inthe system are businesses, they

(16:21):
are managing risk, liability,their reputation, and it takes a
strong one to say yes, weacknowledge it's 90%. And yes,
this happens. And this is whatwe will do about it. The Natalie
project would one day like tohave a list of criteria for a
vendor or an agency to have likea little seal, right that

(16:43):
they've gone through internalsteps, that would be a nice goal
to have. Even more important isfor a family to say listen, I've
done a workshop on the abuse,the epidemic of abuse amongst
people with disabilities, andI'm aware it happens. And here's
my checklist of things that I'vedone to be proactive to make
sure you know that I know,right? It's all about

(17:05):
communication andacknowledgement. So that's
systemic. That's what we'd loveas a federal law, and I will be
pursuing that. But But what arewe doing? What else are we
doing? So the Natalie project isworking on a disability and
abuse survey because we needdata? We don't have data. We
don't really have a report onthis issue. We all acknowledge

(17:26):
it's, it's pretty alarming. Butwhat are we doing to be
proactive? And I know there'smore research that I need to do.
But high level we're workingwith the disability without
abuse project. We're workingwith Arizona State University,
who also looped in StanfordUniversity. And we have a
Qualtrics survey that we aregoing to be administering as

(17:47):
soon as we have it translatedinto American Sign Language.
Because the deaf community needsto be included in this survey.
Dr. Nora Ballard Darian did theoriginal survey. This is her
project that I am supporting.
And the last survey was 10 yearsago. And I think she had over
7000 responses, pre socialmedia, that was all done through
email. So we would like to getthe word out about this survey,

(18:09):
because I'm hoping for 50,000responses. And I'm hoping that
we all come together around thisissue as a community. Because
this survey will be anonymous,it will be anonymous, and we
hope people come together toshare their story. And don't
live in fear if you signed asettlement that there's going to
be some type of backlash.

(18:30):
Secondly, a former employer ofmine did donate a significant
sum of money and I produced afilm. So the film is called
Natalie. Natalie turned 40 lastyear, and I am so excited to
share that the film is aboutNatalie's life. And there's it's
a very beautiful film that wasactually it's an inclusive film.

(18:50):
It was filmed by options for allin San Diego, who has a film and
media studio. And our amazing,amazing director, David F.
Fortune, was seeking to do ashort film and I shared
Natalie's story. And hecommitted to this film. And so
we filmed last year. We'reputting the final touches on the
film in regards to music. I'mhappy to share that Brian

(19:13):
Donovan who is a sibling who didthe film. Kelly's Hollywood is
my advisor on this and has beendoing an amazing job. And
hopefully he's listening tothis. But we have a film coming
out because really people don'tknow about how often this
happens. And there's very littleawareness around the issue. And
our goal with the film is to letpeople know in the community in

(19:35):
society, that's a big issue, andwe need to address it. And the
nally project wants to addressit. And the film is only 24
minutes long, right? It's not along film, although we filmed 12
hour days, seven days. So that'sa lot of content that's in
there. I'm also starting todeliver what's called the s to
workshop. So I'm offering andI'm starting starting in two

(19:55):
weeks, but I'm offeringworkshops to families and
various agencies. I'm like thepediatric epilepsy surgery
Alliance who's a new partner ofours for California sibs and the
Natalie project, we are going tobe doing a workshop on the US to
issue and I and I call it us toobecause the me to movement, I

(20:16):
think it's a great movement. Idid meet Tirana Burke, when she
spoke at my alma mater, I handedher a letter with Natalie story
and her greatest advice in thatpresentation she did at St.
Mary's was know your lane anddrive it. And so this is my lane
and I'm going to drive it. Butwe really do need to focus on on
people with disabilities. Andthat's why I call it the US to

(20:37):
actually had a sibling on subnethelped me name it. There's four
takeaways from the workshop. Andit's please know that sexual
abuse is at epidemic levels andwhy Understand, understand the
signs of sexual abuse and how torespond which is tough because
we have to educate respondingagencies, and then learn how to
reduce the risk of sexual abuseand create a plan. And then

(21:00):
lastly, and more importantly, weneed to take collective action
on this issue. Us as siblings,you know, I really do want to
lean on our sub community totake action on this issue,
because at the end of the day,as life's going along, and our
parents and various guardianshave focused on the person with
a disability, we have to focuson the end game and later in

(21:23):
life, we will be involved laterin life, we will most likely we
will most likely have to facethe issue of sexual abuse given
the staggering numbers. We assiblings cannot keep saying
siblings. We sibs should notaccept this because it is a
public health emergency. And itneeds to be recognized and an

(21:45):
emergency is Joe Shapiro withNPR said we can do better, and
we have to do better. It is notfair that our loved ones have to
suffer. And it's typically insilence and isolation.

Chris Berstler (21:59):
On the Natalie Project website, it says that
90% of people with a disabilityexperienced some form of sexual
assault in their lifetimes. Whyis that number so high?

Julie Neward (22:09):
Oh, wow, that gives me chills. I mean, I used
to love a 90% on my schoolwork.
But I don't like this 90% Um,you know, there's 7 million
people with intellectualdevelopmental disabilities in
the United States. And if youmultiply that times the average
family size, it's like 13million people who will probably
involved in this ridiculousissue but not getting enough.

(22:30):
Enough attention. And again,people with disabilities are
viewed as childlike asexual. Imean, I, I gotta tell you, love
my mother. She's amazing. Butlike she's a medical model. She
was a nurse at Northwesternprior to my sister getting sick.
And, you know, be part of usthinks that her diagnosis is due
to vaccines, too many proteinsin a reaction. But, you know, my

(22:54):
mom still views my 41 year oldsister is childlike. My sister
you know, she'll eat a leaf,she'll pick a leaf out. And I've
met an amazing sibling namedDiana, Pastorek Carson. And
amazing sibling named RachelCuesta. They both teach
disability and Sandy and societyat San Diego State University.

(23:17):
And they've really given me awhole new lens on my sister. I
mean, I grew up with a medicalmodel. And they've introduced me
to the societal model. And so,you know, my sister is not a
child, she's she's an adultwoman, you know, unfortunately,
she's had sex that looks likeand she had no sex ed, even on

(23:37):
her own level and level ofcommunication. And so again,
people with disabilities, theyare not getting sex ed and there
are wonderful, wonderful peopleout there trying to address the
issue like Katherine McLaughlinof elevate us who does a train
the trainer program, which Iwould love to start getting subs
trained on this issue andassisting me with that because I

(23:58):
can't do this alone. You haveNelly golembo, who has her own
company? And then you have KatieThune of Mad Hatter wellness,
who wrote an amazing booksexuality for all abilities. So
there's people out there who aretrying to offer people with
disabilities sex ed and reallycomes from a healthy

(24:20):
relationship standpoint becausethat's what this is about. You
know, that's that's kind ofwhere it needs to stem from and
a lot of that focuses on peoplewho are lower support needs. I
know Kathryn just put outcurriculum for people with
higher support means there's ayou know, you're relying on
others for support Natalieneeded somebody to change her
diaper. You know, I call itadult underwear, but it's her
diaper. And in the policereport, gentleman who worked in

(24:43):
her classroom said they changedher diaper one on one. And
again, it's down to that cultureof compliance. But you wonder
what the bigger issue is. And Ilearned this from an amazing
survivors advocate, Christy. Hi,Scala, who's on my advisory
council. It's good Passing thetrash. And that happens in the
education system. And it happensin the disability services

(25:05):
field, you may have substantialevidence against somebody and
say they need to, you know, theyneed to have this on their
background check, you know, butsometimes that doesn't happen.
And so people just go fromemployer to employer, and I'm
told the very small number ofperpetrators, who are just
getting recycled in the system,and they just keep going around,

(25:25):
I will tell our sub communitybackground checks are, it's a
false sense of security. 97% offingerprints, do not identify
perpetrators. And then you alsohave a culture of grooming,
right? And we're learning aboutthat as well. People are
groomed, that's the nice guy,right? They're not going to do
this. You know, even with myyoung daughters, who are six and

(25:46):
10, I'm doing all this work forthe disability advocacy
community, but I even have toworry about my own children. So
you know, it's everywhere,unfortunately. So the numbers
high, because we rely on asystem of support and
perpetrators know that and theyknow they can take advantage and
they know, people won't speakup. And so Christy and I worked

(26:08):
very closely together on my s toworkshop, and something that's
really, really important that Ineed to point out, you know,
predators rely on a lack ofaction. They don't want you
aware of this stuff. They don'twant people disclosing that
they're, they've been abused.

(26:28):
They don't want you reportingthe authorities. And even better
and listen, we all getuncomfortable in life
confronting people we do thatwhen I was talking with
Christie, she said, I'd ratherhave an adult defend themselves,
then not confront somebody whomight be the perpetrator or
something's going on, I wouldrather go to the police, let

(26:50):
them investigate, let that adultdefend themselves. We need to
support our siblings and ourloved ones and make sure they're
protected. You have to trustyour gut, you have to look for
red flags. And we don't want tomake other people uncomfortable.
And sometimes you have toadvocate for yourself,

Chris Berstler (27:08):
Are sexual assault cases underreported in
the disability community?

Unknown (27:13):
100% Yes. We don't know the signs of abuse. You can
report the abuse and lawenforcement has to investigate.
And it could not be seen assubstantial because a lot of
people with disabilities, theircredibility is questioned.
However, most of the times whensexual abuse is revealed it is

(27:33):
it is a fact. It is a fact. Mostof the time, yeah.

Chris Berstler (27:38):
Are members of the BIPOC community more at risk
of sexual assault?

Julie Neward (27:42):
So this is a great question. And it's one that
hasn't come up before. So thankyou. You know, we're gonna find
out once that disability andabuse survey comes out with with
Dr. Alan Colburn of ASU and Dr.
Nora Bolivarian, we'll find out.
And we'll get back to you withthe results of that that would
probably be another episode asthe results of this survey.

Chris Berstler (28:01):
Are there cases where the perpetrator is also a
member of the disabilitycommunity?

Julie Neward (28:06):
I've heard? Yes.
And I know there's a lot ofconcern about that. When I was
bringing these issues up withthe State Council, they are very
aware that it could be, youknow, each person with a
disability, you know, couldviolate each other's right, like
bodily rights. And so yes, thereis I don't have experience with
that. So I believe it does, itdoes happen. And that's why

(28:29):
education is so key. And it'slearning about, you know, if you
if you can learn aboutboundaries, learn about your
body, I am constantly,constantly telling my daughters
about consent. And I think justpersonally, and we've all
encountered this where you haveto hug the uncle that you don't
want to hug and they want tokiss too. We are of a culture

(28:50):
now of consent. And so I've toldmy daughters if you don't want
to and this is hypothetical, butyou know, if you don't want to
hug uncle owl, you don't have toyou can say thank you a high
five, because we need to havecontrol over our bodies and have
consent over how our bodiesYeah, and have consent to any

(29:13):
type of physical situation.

Chris Berstler (29:17):
Given such alarming statistics. Are there
any movements in Congress orelsewhere to change the
situation?

Julie Neward (29:24):
Yeah, you know, there's a wonderful woman named
Cheryl Ryan chan inMassachusetts who did Nikki's
law and it wasn't about sexualabuse. But they started like an
abuse, abuse caregiver registrybecause her son was being
abused, and she's very publicabout it. She's amazing, and I'm

(29:44):
so glad to have her on on myadvisory council. We did talk to
Disability Rights California andthe State Council about an
abusive caregiver registry andbecause we have the regional
center system in California,it's a little bit tougher. I am
very aware that other statecouncils and other leadership
entities in the states havedone, you know, updated reports

(30:07):
about abuse. And I think sexualabuse usually covers all abuse,
and then sexual abuse as a partof that. I want to dive more
into those reports. But what Iwill share with you is those
reports sometimes sit on a shelfand collect dust. So the last
report the state of Californiahas, which was delivered to the

(30:28):
state legislature was 2002. Over20 years ago, come on, guys, I
live in California for cryingout loud, like we charge you for
plastic bags, and everybody hasto have an Eevee here. So I view
this as an opportunity. Right?
And so I did meet withAssemblyman man shines office on
Monday, timings a little bit offon my side, but Shaarei are

(30:50):
offshore, another advisorycouncil member and I got
together and ask them, like,what do we need to do to get
updated reporting on this issue?
We were very pleased to find outthat the staffer we met with
spent two years on the EastCoast working with adults with
disabilities and knows ourpopulation and understands what
the needs are. So the Natalieproject, we're going to be

(31:14):
having the results of thatsurvey published for free
probably, you know, on awebsite, and that data will can
be used for systemic change. Andthat that is the goal of that
data. Right? I really think thateach state needs to have a bi
annual report and an A in aroundtable or a worksite or

(31:35):
workgroup on this issue. We haveto show action, right? Almost
like it's a public company withshareholders like we need to
start showing action becausepeople with disabilities do need
support advocating at theselevels. And that again, comes
from us sibs, I firmly believethat,

Chris Berstler (31:55):
On that note, how can we as sibs get involved
in these movements for systemicchange?

Julie Neward (32:01):
Email me, and let's talk because that's what
we want. And that's what we'reworking on is a path for
families to justice and healing.
We still haven't seen justice asa family. We need a system where
your walkthrough from before,during and after abuse, just
like Dr. Nora Bala Darian says,we all need to be made aware of
the issue, we all need to beempowered with information.

(32:23):
Unfortunately, abuse will happenand it will come up. It is a
very tough topic. I along withsome other sibs out there have
probably list lived everybody'sworst nightmare to some extent
with different factors involved.
But you we, we just have toreally care about this issue,

(32:46):
because a lot of sibs will behaving to manage their third
their siblings case, and they'regonna feel probably as lost as
we did. And it's not fairbecause we deserve better. I
will tell you, and I think aboutthis often, you know, my parents
met, they, you know, they hadchildren, and I'm sure they had

(33:07):
dreams, and all of a sudden theyhave a child who has high
support needs, and their lifecompletely changes, right. And
so all the focus is on thatchild. And that's, and that's
fine. But then you layer onvictimization on top of a
family, who already has toadvocate for day to day needs
and supports and care. It's likewhen can you when I feel like

(33:30):
we're playing whack a mole here.
It's not it's not fair. And soI'm here to help partner and
collaborate to make sure we havea better system of support. And
I encourage everybody, if you'reinterested in this topic, please
reach out to me, because I wouldlove to put together a workgroup
on this. I am not the expert.

(33:51):
I'm just an organizer. And Iinvite you to the table.

Chris Berstler (33:55):
Tell us a little bit about the healing process
and what listeners can do for orshould know about a victim of
sexual assault.

Julie Neward (34:03):
Yeah, for my sister with high support needs.
I mean, I think it's stillrespecting her individuality and
her trauma. I don't know whatshe what she went through. I am
her co conservator. So I do feela duty to make sure she's
protected and has the servicesshe needs. From what I know

(34:23):
right now, there are not a lotof therapists who treat people
with disabilities who are sexualassault survivors. I believe
there's a big need in thecommunity. I know there's a
couple of people. So what I'llshare with you is when Natalie
when I learned that Natalie wasa victim, I reached out to her
support coordinator at theregional center. That person
emailed me back, talked abouthours of support like I HSS and

(34:48):
respite care, and said these arethe solutions my supervisor and
I came up with and that's ashigh level as that situation
got. They didn't even do aspecial incident report. They
didn't call the police And sothe the state's regional center
system is in charge of publicmoney to support and offer
services to people withdisabilities. But they have no

(35:10):
victim services. Yet people withdisabilities have the highest
rate of sexual abuse. So can wecan we kind of like dive into
that for a second. So there isno healing. My healing is
through advocacy. My healing isthrough this work, knowing that
I, the only thing I can controlis the information I give

(35:31):
people. And the information Ireally want to give people is to
empower them. And that is how Iam healing. Healing is hard. And
I think healing comes fromsiblings coming together.

Chris Berstler (35:42):
How can we as siblings help prevent and
protect our loved ones withdisabilities from sexual
assault?

Julie Neward (35:49):
Yeah, two things.
Let's keep it quick, right?
Knowledge is power. Knowledge ispower. So as I mentioned, I'm
going to be doing us twoworkshops, sign up, learn a
little bit, and then give mefeedback on what else you'd like
to see. Number two, I really doneed champions on this journey.
I am one person with an amazing,amazing, amazing advisory board.

(36:14):
But I am one person and I need Ineed help. You know, we need to
come together on this issue. Dr.
Nancy Fitzsimmons and her bookagain, the Combating violence
and abuse of people withdisabilities, which has sticky
notes all over it like I'm backin grad school. You know, she
talks about community groupscoming together to talk about
this issue. And so that'sinformation I would I would love

(36:36):
to get out to the community aswell.

Chris Berstler (36:40):
What words of advice and or encouragement do
you have for self advocates andtheir siblings who are
listening?

Julie Neward (36:47):
Hi, self advocates and siblings know this happens
and know you can be empowered. Iam working on a toolkit just to
let everybody know, I am workingon a toolkit. It's open in my
Canva in front of me right now.
And so I want to make sure thistoolkit gets endorsed and
disseminated to all siblings.
I'll probably go ahead and dothat on subnets. If you're not
on subnet, please get on there.
Emily Hall has been a hugesupporter of the Natalie

(37:11):
project. She's on my advisorycouncil, or advisory board. But
I'm going to be puttinginformation in your hands. And I
do encourage you dive into thistoolkit to really empower you
that 60 minutes invested willhopefully help you not have as
much trauma and anguish as ourfamily had.

Chris Berstler (37:35):
All right. Thank you so much, Julie. It has been
a pleasure and it's been veryinspiring speaking with you.
Thank you for joining us today.

Julie Neward (37:42):
Thank you, Chris, and thank you to the team with
the sibling Leadership Networkpodcast.

Chris Berstler (37:46):
any resources that Julie's mentioned during
the podcast, please find in thedescriptions below. Thank you so
much for listening. Findresources, tools and information
about the sibling experience onsibling leadership dot for the
sibling Leadership Network is anonprofit, and we rely on
support from our audience. Findthe donation button on our

(38:07):
homepage and contribute to theever growing sibling movement.