December 3, 2025 • 56 mins
A 25-foot wave of hot molasses ripping through Boston at 35 mph. Cadets at West Point turning Christmas into a full-blown eggnog riot. Potato thieves hijacking trucks across Idaho like a farm-town heist movie. We pull the thread on why food keeps lighting the fuse—how price, policy, and pride mix into some of history’s strangest, stickiest showdowns.
Between the history, we trade confessions: cafeteria food fights, spaghetti skirmishes, jello crossfire, and a legendary shop that sold exactly two things—donuts and wings. We cap it with a buffalo chicken manifesto: bone-in for the game, boneless for the couch, crisp skin only, and zero breading. If you’ve ever felt weirdly protective of your favorite dish, you’ll get it. Hit play for a fast, funny, surprisingly deep tour of edible unrest—and tell us: which food would you defend with your whole heart? Subscribe, share with a hungry friend, and leave a review to help more curious weirdos find the show.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
And then this thing about potatoes, you're gonna
love.
I do know that there was uh a apotato mafia that was in effect
in the nineteen seventies.
SPEAKER_05 (00:20):
The spud foda.
SPEAKER_04 (00:26):
Oh god.
Potato mafia.
SPEAKER_00 (00:31):
Yes.
In the nineteen seventies inOregon and Idaho, they were Of
course it was Idaho.
They were stealing potatoes, andwe're talking millions of
dollars worth of potatoes.
Farmers had to hire armed guardsfor their crops.
People were hijacking trucksfull of potatoes, like fast and
(00:51):
furious, the tuber drift.
I I don't know.
Fast and furious tuber drift.
SPEAKER_07 (00:59):
I'm just picturing like Ezekiel and the Faniol with
like their fucking carriagestrying to do that whole like
shooting under the tractortrailer in the first movie.
I'm just seeing Ezekiel justlike waha, waha, whatever the
fuck, and then just like meowand then boom, there he fucking
goes into the ditch.
SPEAKER_00 (01:30):
Before we begin today's episode, we would like
to share a quick disclaimer.
The views, opinions, andstatements expressed by the
hosts and guests on this podcastare their own personal views and
are provided in their owncapacity.
All content is editorial,opinion-based, and intended for
entertainment purposes only.
(01:52):
Listener discretion is advised.
Welcome back to the Silly GooseSociety, where I'm bringing
facts, chaos, and questionableresearch.
And Kyle is going to show upwith whatever gremlin energy
he's carrying today.
SPEAKER_06 (02:09):
I'm just doing my goddamn best.
SPEAKER_00 (02:12):
Aren't we all?
Well, today I have somethingspecial for you.
Because apparently in America,and honestly, humanity in
general, we have a long, stupid,absolutely glorious history of
going to war or battles orhaving tragedies happen over
(02:35):
food.
Yes?
Food.
The stuff we've got.
The things we eat.
The things we eat, the things weargue about at Thanksgiving.
And then some people burn onpurpose.
Not looking at you, Kyle, sinceyou were cooking this morning.
SPEAKER_06 (02:53):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't burn on purpose,alright?
Like it was just never mind.
We're not getting into that.
SPEAKER_00 (03:00):
All right, buckle up.
The first thing that I want totalk about is the great molasses
flood.
SPEAKER_07 (03:09):
Oh my god.
I literally just heard of thisyesterday through a fucking
TikTok.
SPEAKER_00 (03:17):
Great.
So this is the great this is thegreat molasses flood of 1919.
So I get to do this.
Picture this.
Boston.
January, 1919.
You do it better though.
SPEAKER_07 (03:32):
Well, yeah, because you gotta do the Sicily part
first.
Picture this.
Sicily, 1919.
No, wait, wrong one.
Picture this.
Boston 1919.
SPEAKER_00 (03:42):
There's a giant 50-foot tank full of 2.3 million
gallons of hot molasses.
SPEAKER_07 (03:52):
That was my nickname in high school.
SPEAKER_00 (03:54):
Hot molasses.
SPEAKER_07 (03:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
So this tank had been leaking for months.
And residents literallycomplained that it groaned.
And instead of fixing it, thecompany just literally just
painted it brown so you couldn'tsee the leaks.
Fucking Boston.
It'll be all right.
Right.
That was the solution.
(04:19):
Just paint over the problem.
SPEAKER_07 (04:20):
I gotta go see the socks.
It'll be fine.
Fucking Boston, man.
SPEAKER_00 (04:25):
So then one afternoon, the tank straight up
explodes.
It doesn't crack, it doesn'tleak.
It just fucking explodes.
And what ensued was a 25-footwave of molasses coming
barreling through Boston at 35miles an hour.
(04:47):
Imagine that.
SPEAKER_07 (04:48):
It could have literally gotten a speeding
ticket.
SPEAKER_00 (04:50):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (04:51):
The residential area is cool as zone.
It could have got a speedingticket.
SPEAKER_00 (04:56):
Right.
It was moving faster than somecars move in the mornings.
And it swept away buildings,twisted an entire elevated train
line.
It knocked people over likebowling pins.
And so, like molasses obviouslyis denser than water.
So once you were down, you werenot getting back up.
(05:18):
There were people who weresuffocated in the syrup.
Horses got stuck like they were.
SPEAKER_07 (05:24):
That's a song title.
I'm sorry.
Suffocated in the syrup.
Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:31):
But horses got stuck in like, you know, stuck in
this.
It was like some kind of bad, Idon't know, Jurassic reboot or
something.
Firefighters were literallytrying to chop through molasses
with axes.
And then the wildest part ofthis whole story is that then
for decades on hot days, theneighborhood smelled like
(05:55):
molasses.
I mean, this went on fordecades.
SPEAKER_07 (05:58):
Well, I mean, it's better than the smell of Boston
now.
Well, you know.
Upgrade.
SPEAKER_00 (06:03):
And here's a question.
Could you imagine?
Okay, you died in this thing,right?
And you come back as a ghost.
Do you think the ghosts smelledlike molasses?
SPEAKER_05 (06:15):
I think does.
SPEAKER_00 (06:20):
Just imagine if you have a haunted house, somebody
comes in and is like, why doesyour house smell like pancakes?
Oh, it's I just have a stickyghost running around.
SPEAKER_07 (06:30):
Wait, first off, why are you panc why are you putting
molasses anywhere near yourpancakes?
One.
Ginger snaps.
Like ginger snaps.
Yeah, do you know who people do?
Dumb people and old people.
Oh my god.
It's just I can't think ofthat's a that's a that's a
specific level of hell is to belike drowned andor boiled by
(06:52):
molasses.
A 25-foot wave of molasses.
When it first started like oh,the molasses blood of Boston of
1919.
It made me think of that scenein Austin Powers.
No with like the steamroller,and he's like a hundred feet
away, just going so slow.
Like it's molasses.
Like, get out of the way.
Just like step.
Look, I'll do it again.
(07:13):
I'm not even tired.
You know what I mean?
But like, no, it was like it was30 miles an hour.
Like, yeah.
That's fast as fuck.
SPEAKER_00 (07:19):
That is, I mean, like, oof, I can't even imagine.
And like it it twisted, ittwisted metal.
SPEAKER_07 (07:29):
Great video game.
Um yeah, because it was likehot.
And it's just like stuck on you.
Right?
Like it was boiling, it wasbeing cooked, so like that's
even that.
So the the fact that peoplesuffocated and they didn't like
cook to death.
SPEAKER_00 (07:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (07:47):
That's not a good thing.
SPEAKER_00 (07:52):
I don't know what what kind of person this makes
me, but anytime I hear storieslike this, I always think like
the poor animals.
Like, I just see them as likethey're so innocent.
Like, what why did the horsesdeserve?
Not like people deserved it, butlike some of them probably did.
SPEAKER_07 (08:09):
It was Boston.
SPEAKER_00 (08:10):
Right, but like let's not forget that.
The poor horses and you know,the animals that got caught in
like what did they uh can youimagine just like you know,
you're just a squirrel up at ayou know, going up in a tree,
and you just all of a sudden arefrozen in molasses.
SPEAKER_07 (08:26):
Like, yo, Tim, Tim, he ain't gonna fucking believe
this.
Tell me.
SPEAKER_00 (08:34):
Oh shit.
SPEAKER_04 (08:35):
That's horrible.
SPEAKER_00 (08:37):
Well, now I want to slide into some Christmas lore.
You ready for this one?
SPEAKER_02 (08:44):
Help me with that.
SPEAKER_00 (08:45):
All right.
So this is the year is 1826.
SPEAKER_01 (08:50):
Picture this.
SPEAKER_00 (08:54):
And this is the West Point eggnog riot.
You ever heard of this one?
SPEAKER_07 (09:02):
No, but that's so fucking ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (09:06):
So they had a the military academy West Point had
a full-blown riot over eggnog.
Tell you that, right?
Right, because of course theydid.
So in 1826, the cadets were notallowed any alcohol.
So they smuggled in whiskey fromthe local taverns, but it wasn't
like one bottle or two bottles.
(09:29):
Um, it was enough to turnChristmas Eve into some kind of
like frontier frat party.
They mixed it into all of theeggnog.
Um, and they got obliterated.
And I mean absolutelyobliterated.
SPEAKER_03 (09:47):
As you do.
SPEAKER_00 (09:49):
So then, you know, the officers come in and they
try to shut the party down, andthe the cadets are basically
like, nah, nah, it's nothappening.
SPEAKER_02 (09:58):
Nah nah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:59):
So they start grabbing chairs and canes and
sticks and fireplace tools.
Um, one guy grabbed a fuckingsword.
SPEAKER_07 (10:10):
That's probably Edgar Allan Poe.
SPEAKER_00 (10:13):
Grabbed a sword to defend eggnog, and then a gun
goes off.
SPEAKER_07 (10:20):
That was Edgar Allan Poe, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (10:22):
Yeah.
Doors are kicked in, officersare getting punched, 90 cadets
are drunk in rioting, and itbecomes an actual like battle
over a dairy product.
SPEAKER_07 (10:35):
A horrible dairy product, mind you.
SPEAKER_00 (10:37):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (10:38):
I hate eggnog.
SPEAKER_00 (10:39):
So, and here's here's my favorite fun fact
future Confederate presidentJefferson Davis was involved in
this riot, but he did not getpunished.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
Right.
Classic.
SPEAKER_00 (10:55):
So there you have the eggnog riot.
What would have okay, if youwere in that, what would have
been your weapon of choice?
SPEAKER_07 (11:03):
Whatever the fuck I could grab.
Whatever's closest to me.
Is it a bottle?
Is it a fire poker?
Is it Tim from Barracks C?
Probably.
Whatever the fuck I grabbed atthe time, man.
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
I think the I think the ladle would have been a good
weapon.
SPEAKER_07 (11:20):
The ladle.
SPEAKER_00 (11:21):
Ladle, ladle, ladle.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (11:26):
Um is he just swinging a fucking ladle?
I don't know why, but my brainimmediately went to Bug's Life
when the ladybug grabs the stickand he was like, Little John, my
sword.
The way he just like parries it.
I just see you like that with afucking ladle.
And like one of those giantfucking like West Point like
cadet hats, which is which looksit's just those giant, it's like
(11:48):
the top hat, but without thelittle just a little brim in
front and not a hole around.
You know kind of fucking hat I'mtalking about, like a marching
band hat.
I just see you with one ofthose, just like fucking like
parry this, you fucking casual,with a goddamn ladle.
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
Alright.
Well, you know my one of myfavorite foods, right?
SPEAKER_07 (12:07):
Brown gravy.
SPEAKER_00 (12:08):
No, the other one.
SPEAKER_07 (12:09):
Coleslaw.
SPEAKER_00 (12:10):
No, the other one.
SPEAKER_07 (12:12):
Sadness.
SPEAKER_00 (12:14):
Okay, you're you're you're three for three.
No.
Madame Thousand.
Potatoes.
Potatoes.
SPEAKER_07 (12:23):
Boil the mashum, stick them in a stew.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
I don't know that.
What is that?
There's a song, right?
Boil the mash, stick them in thesteps.
It's Lord of the Rings.
SPEAKER_07 (12:39):
Potatoes, boil the mashum, stick them in a stew.
I mean, it might be a song, buthe literally says that in Lord
of the Rings.
SPEAKER_00 (12:47):
I swear those lyrics are in some stupid song.
SPEAKER_07 (12:49):
They might be, and that's probably what he did with
it, but like I'm I that that'sjust that's Sam Wise Gamge, and
I will put both of them on achopping block against you on
that one that it's not.
unknown (12:59):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (13:01):
All right.
Anywho, um, so this is uh theGreat Potato War.
So this is a warfare that wasfueled by carbs.
And all of them.
All of them.
So this is in 17 the 1770s, um,and it involves the Bavarian
(13:27):
Succession War.
unknown (13:29):
The Bavarian success.
SPEAKER_00 (13:31):
So you're ready for it?
SPEAKER_07 (13:33):
I was about as ready as I'm gonna be.
SPEAKER_00 (13:35):
All right, so you know, it's wartime, and these
people are you know, becauseEurope, right?
You're right, because Europe.
But in this particular skirmish,um, the soldiers spent more time
stealing each other's potatoesthan actually fighting.
And I'm not even kidding aboutthat.
(13:56):
So we have two armies runningaround Europe like raccoons in
uniform, raiding farms.
Uniforms?
Raccooniforms, they're raidingfarms, potato sellers, and the
civilians are like loudlycomplaining.
Like, you know, you guys are do,you know, have your pissing
contests, but can we at leasthave our potatoes?
SPEAKER_07 (14:18):
So talk to my fucking spuds.
SPEAKER_00 (14:21):
Right.
So it it gets better because inAmerica, potatoes also sparked
some violence.
So during literally every day.
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (14:34):
Literally every day.
SPEAKER_00 (14:36):
During World War II, there were rationing that led to
grocery store fights.
Actually, people during WorldWar II were getting in brawls
over potatoes.
And then this thing aboutpotatoes, you're gonna love.
Did you know that there was uh apotato mafia that was in effect
(15:00):
in the nineteen seventies?
SPEAKER_05 (15:08):
The spud foda.
SPEAKER_04 (15:14):
Oh god.
So yeah, in potato mafia.
SPEAKER_00 (15:19):
Yes, in the nineteen seventies in Oregon and Idaho,
they were Of course it wasIdaho.
They were stealing potatoes, andwe're talking millions of
dollars worth of potatoes.
Farmers had to hire armed guardsfor their crops.
People were hijacking trucksfull of potatoes, like, you
know, I don't know, like fastand furious, the tuber drift.
(15:43):
I I don't know.
Fast and furious tuber drift.
SPEAKER_07 (15:48):
I'm just picturing like Ezekiel and the Faniol with
like their fucking carriagestrying to do that whole like
shooting under the tractortrailer in the first movie.
I'm just seeing Ezekiel justlike waha, waha, whatever the
fuck, and then just like mealand then boom, there he fucking
goes into the ditch.
Just a goddamn nightmare.
Fuck, what do we got?
(16:09):
Family.
And also the Sabbath.
I don't know why I'm going Amishwith this, but oh no, because
these are just farmers.
SPEAKER_00 (16:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (16:21):
Yeah, I don't know why I would Amish and farmers,
they just it's that's just mybrain goes.
SPEAKER_00 (16:29):
So I have like uh like a little bit of a
compilation of a bunch of I meanI found so I I did not realize
the history that the world hadfighting over food.
Um but in Harvard in 1766, therewas the Great Butter Rebellion.
SPEAKER_07 (16:48):
They That's great.
SPEAKER_00 (16:50):
They the students rioted because the dining hall
served rancid butter for toolong, and then they refused to
attend classes, they protestedin the yard, and eventually the
college was shut down over this.
SPEAKER_07 (17:06):
Harvard shut down over butter.
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Over butter.
SPEAKER_07 (17:09):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00 (17:11):
And then we moved to France in 1775.
And so they had um basically aderegulated grain market, and
bread prices like skyrocketed.
SPEAKER_07 (17:29):
Okay, now that I did know because of the French
Revolution.
SPEAKER_00 (17:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (17:33):
That was one of the things that led up to the French
Revolution.
Because like, ah shit.
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:39):
Because of this riot, this was like the prequel
to the guillotine era era.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (17:44):
Just a little funny.
Because they had like horrible,like literally, they had like
like three or four yearsstraight of like fuck awful
weather, which like destroyedthe crops.
So like the peasants and thefarmers had no wheat, no grain,
no nothing for bread.
But all the rich cunts still hadmore than enough bread.
(18:05):
But like, yeah, the price ofbread went from like let's we'll
say like a dollar a loaf, likeyou know, like US dollars, like
went from like a dollar a loafto like a hundred dollars a loaf
or like two hundred dollars aloaf almost overnight.
SPEAKER_00 (18:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, and then in the 1950s, um,there were the pasta protests of
the pasta protests in Naples.
SPEAKER_07 (18:34):
In Naples checks out, all checks out.
SPEAKER_00 (18:38):
So back in the 50s, Italy tried to push rice as a
new national carb.
And it was used to think likethey wanted to boost rice
production.
And basically, the people saidover our dead bodies, it's pasta
or nice.
SPEAKER_07 (18:55):
We're talking about Italy.
It's not over mind, it's overyour dead body there, Jack.
SPEAKER_00 (18:59):
Like literally, people were marching in the
streets waving like macaroniImagine that.
You talk about pasta in my son.
SPEAKER_07 (19:16):
Just scream at him.
Oh man.
SPEAKER_00 (19:20):
So in 1871, there was the orange riot of New York.
SPEAKER_07 (19:26):
Well, there's about to be another orange riot in New
York in 2025.
But I digress.
SPEAKER_00 (19:32):
But we digress.
Um, so this started as a paradeinvolving the Protestant Orange
Order, and it ended in a streetbrawl um because of all of the
uh food vendors, you know, andthey had their oranges, and like
oranges were flying everywhere.
(19:54):
Orange peels, like dozens ofpeople were injured.
And it wasn't like food wasn'tnecessarily the cause, but it
absolutely lit the match becauseit was just like an endless
supply of oranges to chuck ateach other.
SPEAKER_07 (20:14):
God, that's like oh yeah, no, people were
absolutely.
I wouldn't be surprised if acouple people died because of
that.
Because man, oranges aren't likeeven like tangerines and like
clementines and shit.
I mean, you get the right armbehind it, man.
You just get it.
You can have a bad fucking day.
You take one of those to theeye.
SPEAKER_00 (20:31):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_07 (20:32):
Jesus.
SPEAKER_00 (20:34):
So we we as Americans, we we kind of know
the uh, you know, our ourhistory, or we should know our
history a little bit.
But um, you know, the sugar,there were there were the sugar
act protests of 1764.
And this was, you know,basically the sugar taxes.
Um yeah.
(20:55):
You know, we had a sweet tooth,we wanted our sugar, and King
George did not agree.
So there were protests over thesugar taxes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:06):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_07 (21:08):
Once again, fucking Boston and fucking shit up
because of food.
Sugar, the tea, the molasses,it's all come full circle with
this one.
SPEAKER_00 (21:18):
And then the probably the only time I don't
know that much about Canadianhistory, but I don't, you know,
as a nation, I don't see them asparticularly violent.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
Oh.
SPEAKER_00 (21:31):
But in 1945, they had a candy bar strike.
SPEAKER_02 (21:37):
A candy bar strike.
SPEAKER_00 (21:39):
So candy bar prices doubled overnight, and teenagers
revolted.
SPEAKER_03 (21:45):
Like you had Hershey bar yesterday, it cost me a
fucking loony, and I was costingme a toonie, but go fuck
yourself.
Your mom's gotta be taking apiss out her ass on that one,
buddy.
SPEAKER_00 (21:58):
Oh god, yes.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so they they startedprotesting in the streets, and
they had signs like we want fairprices.
SPEAKER_07 (22:08):
If that's not too much of an inconvenience for
you.
SPEAKER_00 (22:11):
Yeah, yeah.
And I I just imagine all oftheir street signs end with dot
dot dot a.
SPEAKER_07 (22:17):
No, probably dot dot dot please a question mark.
SPEAKER_00 (22:21):
Uh but the you know, the police had to shut it down,
and it was just uh like ahistorical big fight over big
chocolate, basically.
SPEAKER_07 (22:30):
Fight over big chocolate.
I'm seeing fucking Willy Wonkathere, just like a beater, a fat
fucking stogie, just countingjust mountains of cash.
unknown (22:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (22:41):
Odd job comes in with a fucking orange face and
green hair.
SPEAKER_00 (22:46):
And then speaking of going back to rice um in Japan
in 1918, they they ri riotedover rice.
Um the price of rice explodedand uh over a million twice.
(23:07):
Shit.
Oh the uh like over a millionpeople protested across Japan,
and it the riots lasted weeks,and government literally fell
during this.
Um, so it was rice that uhcaused the government to fall in
(23:30):
this instant, not gold, notweapons, just rice.
SPEAKER_07 (23:37):
God, I had like 50 jokes, like the entire time that
you're doing that.
So the rice, you know, the priceof rice is doubled twice, you
know.
What's that?
What is that?
A stor uh a story about economicdisaster by Dr.
Seuss.
SPEAKER_00 (23:51):
Yeah, I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_07 (23:53):
So that one's uh that the entire government shut
down because of rice this time.
Yeah, not not not gold, not war.
Yeah, not waking the sleepinggiant that is the American Navy,
you know, this and not atomicenergy.
SPEAKER_00 (24:05):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (24:06):
Other things about Japan, World War II, but but I
digress.
SPEAKER_00 (24:12):
So in Germany, over multiple years, yeah, they yeah,
um, they had what they call um aseries of years of beer haul
conflicts.
unknown (24:26):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (24:27):
So like beer, you know, isn't technically a food,
I guess.
I don't know.
But anyway, I found it amusing.
But every time the governmenthas tried to regulate beer
prices or the purity of beer, itseems like everyone in Germany
lost their fucking minds.
Um and so beer, you know, isbasically their emotional
(24:47):
support animal.
SPEAKER_07 (24:48):
Oh, yeah.
It's it's like like allseriousness, it's like sacred to
the German people.
Like they take it so fuckingseriously.
It's like white people inturtlenecks and Napa Valley and
wine.
It's like don't fuck with it,man.
Like they'll they they'll be.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
So then we come back to New York.
New York has had a lot ofprotests over a lot of things.
It's New York, what do youexpect?
It's New York, what do youexpect?
So um if you can protest there,you can protest anyway.
SPEAKER_04 (25:25):
Forget about it.
SPEAKER_00 (25:28):
In 1907, there were milk riots.
Um, so the milk sellers raisedprices, and this one the
literally the queens, themothers and the children staged
street revolts, and you hadwomen out there overturning milk
carts, smashing bottles,terrorizing distributors, um
(25:51):
pushing their boobs together.
Actually, I think I think that'skind of uh iconic, you know, for
the for the women to getinvolved in this one.
SPEAKER_07 (26:02):
Exactly.
Iconic?
I think you mean ironic.
I mean iconic, yeah.
It's probably fucking great,man.
Like, yes, queen, yas, down withbig milk.
SPEAKER_00 (26:12):
Right.
Um, okay.
Oh, wait, here's another canCanadian one.
SPEAKER_07 (26:17):
They had Oh wait, there's more.
Angry Canadians.
SPEAKER_00 (26:21):
Yeah, they had uh a lobster liberation protest.
SPEAKER_07 (26:26):
The lobster liberation protest of Canada.
SPEAKER_00 (26:30):
Of Canada, yeah.
So uh animal rights groupsstarted freeing lobsters from
tanks in seafood markets.
And then, you know, basicallythe fishermen were fighting
back, and it was just a shitshow in Canada over uh lobsters.
And so, yeah, you just had tinylobster jail breaks ensuing all
(26:52):
over the place.
SPEAKER_07 (26:53):
I'm just seeing PETA running into like red lobster
with like the tank right therein the front with a hammer going
like smashing and then just likepouring out, and this lobster is
just like what the fuck?
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00 (27:09):
Bring in the dancing lobsters.
So in Georgia in the 1980s,there was a peach boycott.
SPEAKER_07 (27:20):
Georgia boycotting peaches.
SPEAKER_00 (27:21):
Right.
So farmers protested the drop ofwholesale prices um by dumping
entire truckloads of peaches onhighways.
And uh yeah, like um, yeah,people were complaining over
what the farmers are doing.
The farmers were complainingover what the government was
(27:42):
doing.
Um, everyone was crying aboutsomething, and everything was
like really, really sticky.
And you know how I feel aboutsticky stuff.
SPEAKER_07 (27:52):
That was a great fuck.
That was a great fucking lineright there that can sum up.
I feel like the past like 30years of America.
Everyone was yelling andfighting over something, and
everything was just sticky.
unknown (28:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (28:03):
The past like 30 years of American history.
That's it.
People are just fighting andyelling, and everything is
sticky.
SPEAKER_00 (28:09):
Everything.
SPEAKER_07 (28:13):
My family on the holidays.
SPEAKER_00 (28:16):
Um, oh, this is a fun one.
So um in Colombia in 1928, therewas the banana massacre.
SPEAKER_07 (28:27):
The ban massacre.
SPEAKER_00 (28:29):
Massacre, yeah.
So this was a deadly tragicconflict between striking banana
plantation workers and militaryforces.
SPEAKER_02 (28:41):
Oh.
SPEAKER_00 (28:41):
And this is this this whole like war that broke
out is the origin of the termbanana republic.
SPEAKER_07 (28:53):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (28:53):
Mm-hmm.
Huh.
So it's a little dark, buthistorically huge, you know, pop
culture moment.
SPEAKER_07 (29:07):
I I need to know how if you could if you could sum it
up.
If we need to talk about itlater, that's fine.
But say I need to know howBanana Republic came a thing out
of like, you know, whatever,apparently about this massive
tragedy and horrendous massacre,because that's a yuppie white
people store.
SPEAKER_00 (29:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (29:28):
And I need to know what type of mass murder
happened.
We go, ooh, khakis.
Like, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00 (29:38):
You know, it's probably just one of those
things that, you know, it it wasgained like the moniker during
the skirmish nineteen twentyeight.
You fast forward, it becomeskind of like center stage and
just everyday language.
You know, what do you think, youknow, your banana republic or
you know?
(29:58):
And then and then something.
SPEAKER_03 (30:00):
You think you want a fucking Banana Republic?
Well, actually I do.
SPEAKER_07 (30:04):
All right.
SPEAKER_00 (30:05):
And then somebody in corporate, you know, a marketing
team were like, this would be agood name for a store.
And somebody else said, Yeah,let's do it.
SPEAKER_07 (30:15):
You want to piss off the Colombians?
This is what we're going to do.
SPEAKER_00 (30:18):
This is what we're going to do.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (30:20):
We're going to fucking dress like them.
Um we're going to call it this.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Let's see.
Uh in the 1930s, there was araisin rebellion where farmers
refused to sell raisins at lowgovernment prices.
And so yeah, there were therewas a whole standoff over
raisins.
SPEAKER_07 (30:43):
Jesus Christ.
It's not even over likebratwurst or like onion rings or
you know, something buffalochicken.
Like, no, it's over fuckingraisins.
SPEAKER_00 (30:55):
Well, funny as it should say uh sausage.
SPEAKER_07 (31:00):
I said bratwurst.
SPEAKER_00 (31:02):
Well, bratwurst in 1917 in Sweden, there was a
sausage war.
SPEAKER_07 (31:08):
That checks out.
That math.
I don't need to show the Carfax.
All of that makes sense to me.
Moving on.
SPEAKER_00 (31:16):
So like food shortages led to riots, and
politicians were literallyattacked with strings of
sausages.
SPEAKER_07 (31:24):
Strings of sausages.
There's nothing we can do aboutyour high tax process.
Well, test my sausage there,Lundenvigel.
My eyes in your sausage in myeyes.
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
The thing I love about this whole episode so far
is the sheer number of uh likeaccents you can do.
SPEAKER_07 (31:49):
Horrible accents that I've been doing.
Wildly offensive and very broadstroke accents.
I did a horrible Alberta.
That's an absolute, like, that'smore.
It was like finish with like aNorwegian undertone with like a
Danish topping, and I'm passtrying to pass it as Swede.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (32:09):
Um, okay, so in Bolivia there was a chicken
crisis where we got oblivion.
There were chicken shortagesthat led to protests, uh,
political shouting matches, anduh black market poultry runs.
SPEAKER_07 (32:26):
So just any day in Bolivia.
So just Tuesday for Bolivia.
SPEAKER_00 (32:29):
Yeah, just it's just a Tuesday.
SPEAKER_07 (32:30):
It's just Tuesday.
Bah, big whoop.
SPEAKER_00 (32:32):
Yeah.
Um, let's see here.
We've got the tamale riots inLos Angeles of 1894.
SPEAKER_07 (32:40):
I am very veteran.
Tamales are one of my favoritefoods.
All the information you haveright now.
SPEAKER_00 (32:45):
So the police were trying to crack down on tamale
street vendors.
SPEAKER_07 (32:52):
Fucking assholes.
SPEAKER_00 (32:53):
The public basically said uh no.
SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
Like, I'm dug.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
And uh yeah, there were street fights and a
full-blown, like um likeorganized, calculated resistance
about the crackdown of thestreet vendors.
SPEAKER_07 (33:14):
What's like the big song?
It's this organized riots andrebellions again.
I'm just seeing Le Miz.
But and it's not even like theFrench flag, it's not even the
Mexican flag, it's just a flagwith a tamale on it, and they're
just like marching in thestreets, like waving the fucking
flag, singing some song abouttamales.
And I agree.
(33:36):
Fight the good fight, brother.
SPEAKER_00 (33:38):
So this one, it it's not necessarily a war or a
fight.
Um, but and I gave it this name.
This is my uh I I'm nicknamingthis one uh the Pudding Lane
Incident of London of night of1666.
SPEAKER_07 (33:54):
The pudding lane, you couldn't have come up with
anything shorter, Jesus Christ.
Like, what are you in charge offucking naming Fallout Boy and
Panic at the Disco's fuckingsong titles?
Yes.
I write since not tragedy on aTuesday night in Calcutta with
my dog.
Like, what get fucked, bud?
Like, I came up with this name.
The pudding incident of 1666 onDownton Abbey with ever the
(34:16):
fucking shit in London.
What the fuck?
Call it Pudding Pop Off.
Do that, call it that.
SPEAKER_00 (34:23):
It's pudding pop off.
SPEAKER_07 (34:25):
There you go.
SPEAKER_00 (34:26):
Um in 1666, there was a it and it is known as the
Great Fire of London, okay?
SPEAKER_07 (34:34):
But it already had a name and you renamed it Jesus
Christ.
SPEAKER_00 (34:37):
But it really had an easier name.
SPEAKER_07 (34:40):
I can make it better.
Uh Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00 (34:44):
So this started it, but it all started in a bakery.
And uh usually does.
Yeah, the bakery um it caught onfire, exploded, and then all of
London basically caught on fire.
It was it was a food-causedapocalypse of 1666.
I said there were a lot of namesI could have given that one.
SPEAKER_07 (35:08):
Yeah, and you took a word from each one of them and
threw it all into the actualname that you gave it.
SPEAKER_00 (35:16):
What I want to do now is um I want to read a
couple and you tell me whetherthese are real or not.
SPEAKER_03 (35:25):
I want them all to be real.
SPEAKER_00 (35:27):
Okay.
Um So there was a great jellouprising of fifth 1954.
Utah women were refusing toserve lime jello until husbands
learned to season their meatproperly.
SPEAKER_07 (35:48):
Okay, do you mean to actually season the meat or like
season their meat?
SPEAKER_00 (35:53):
Like Oh, well, I think it's actually meat, not.
SPEAKER_07 (35:56):
Not like how to I thought it was just like we're
not serving you any green jellotill you know the fucking finger
trick.
Like, that's what you weregetting at.
It's not hysteria.
You just got bitch-ass handsthere, Arthur.
SPEAKER_00 (36:10):
Right.
So what do you think?
Is that real or fake?
SPEAKER_07 (36:15):
That was real.
That sounds like some dumbassUtah shit.
SPEAKER_00 (36:17):
No, that's a fake one.
SPEAKER_07 (36:19):
No, it was real.
SPEAKER_00 (36:21):
In your head canon, it's now real.
SPEAKER_07 (36:23):
In actual canon.
Technically, I'm not wrongbecause in the infinite universe
uh thing, there is a universewhere that happened.
SPEAKER_00 (36:32):
Yeah, well, you know, if you if you go in the
the multiple.
SPEAKER_07 (36:36):
The multiverse theory.
There it is.
The multiverse theory.
SPEAKER_00 (36:38):
There we go.
Yeah.
All right, so the next one (36:40):
the great cheese fire of 2013.
A warehouse caught fire, andgiant blocks of cheese exploded
like grenades.
SPEAKER_07 (36:51):
Blocks, the blocks of cheese.
The cheese themselves explodedlike grenades.
SPEAKER_00 (36:55):
Yep.
SPEAKER_07 (36:56):
It was real.
SPEAKER_00 (36:57):
It was real.
SPEAKER_07 (36:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:00):
Are you looking this up?
Are you looking these up?
Are you looking at this?
No, I'm not.
SPEAKER_07 (37:04):
I'm serious.
I'm just gonna say I'm justgonna I'm gonna say every single
one of them is real.
unknown (37:08):
Okay.
SPEAKER_07 (37:08):
I'm gonna say every one of them is real.
SPEAKER_00 (37:11):
All right.
Uh, the baguette bayonetbayonetting incident.
SPEAKER_07 (37:16):
Okay, let's see.
I almost said fake because itwas too ridiculous of a name,
but then you're saying it, soyeah, it was real.
SPEAKER_00 (37:24):
French bakers use stale baguettes as weapons
during a protest.
Marie! The baguette! I'm armed.
Uh that is fake.
That never happened.
I mean, you know, okay, in themultiverse, maybe in the
(37:44):
multiverse.
SPEAKER_07 (37:44):
In the multiverse, it definitely happened.
In the multiverse, somewhere itnever minds.
SPEAKER_00 (37:48):
In this reality, it didn't happen.
Um, and then the last one, thebeer shortage riot of 1637.
Colonists nearly um mutiniedbecause the uh ship rate ran out
of beer.
SPEAKER_06 (38:04):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (38:05):
Yes, that is real.
SPEAKER_06 (38:06):
It had to do with alcohol, so absolutely it was
real.
SPEAKER_00 (38:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (38:10):
And people acting completely irrational over
alcohol.
Million percent real.
SPEAKER_00 (38:18):
Um, and that's pretty much all I had for this.
SPEAKER_07 (38:21):
You ever been in a food fight?
SPEAKER_00 (38:26):
Not in it.
I've seen one happen around me,but you know, I just got beat
the hell out of there.
SPEAKER_06 (38:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (38:33):
Senior year.
It was one of the greatest daysof my life.
SPEAKER_00 (38:41):
I always think a fun a food fight would be fun.
SPEAKER_07 (38:44):
It was like the time of my life.
It's like wedding day, birth ofchildren, food fight.
Like, and that's fucking close,man.
Like, it was close.
It's really funny because ithappened at lunchtime.
It was senior year, and when Itell you, it was like you see in
the fucking, like in like themovies and like shows about like
(39:05):
what a high school, like aschool food fight is where it's
just food fucking flying across.
It's exactly it wasn't like acouple of tables just like
screwing with each other.
It was like a fuck, it was likethe siege of Baston, just like
fucking launching potatoes andshit, like across the fucking
calf.
Doors are barricades and no onecan get in rounds, like couldn't
get broken up, and it's justjust trashed the place.
(39:27):
And Lauren's pissed because thatwas the day she had like she
wasn't at school that day.
She was at she was like uh shehad like a doctor's appointment,
or she just stayed home,whatever the hell it was.
She wasn't a part of it, shecouldn't be a part of it.
But yeah, it was an actual foodfight.
That was pretty damn awesome.
That was fucking sick.
Yeah.
(39:47):
And I'm trying to remember whatsome of the other funny, you
know, that I wouldn't call thesewars, but I don't know.
I I guess me and my brothers, wealways had some type of uh, you
know, kids they do some kind ofshit or whatever.
We always did stuff.
All of us have at least one withfood.
I have like four.
Like so, like I got into um Igot into a spaghetti fight with
uh with my older brother.
SPEAKER_00 (40:09):
Of course she did.
SPEAKER_07 (40:10):
We just had you know, like the leftover
spaghetti from like the nightbefore when we were, I don't
know, but we lads or somethinglike that.
I was like two.
And uh we thought, hey, it'd befunny if we just picked up
handfuls of spaghetti andchucked them at each other, or
something like that one.
SPEAKER_00 (40:23):
I'm sure your mother loved that.
SPEAKER_07 (40:25):
Oh yeah.
I don't know which one she lovedmore.
Either the spaghetti fight thatme and my older brother had or
the jello fight that me and myyounger brother had.
unknown (40:32):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_00 (40:33):
How do you fight with jello?
Doesn't it just kind of likedisintegrate in your hand?
SPEAKER_07 (40:38):
Well, you know, we were kids in creative, so we
pretty much were taking handfulsof jello and just like yucking
it at each other.
SPEAKER_00 (40:44):
Oh shit.
SPEAKER_07 (40:45):
Oh yeah, it was green and red too on our like
eggshell painted walls.
SPEAKER_00 (40:49):
Oh.
SPEAKER_07 (40:50):
Just yeah, red and green jello.
Fucking yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
Yeah, not good.
SPEAKER_07 (40:57):
Nah, not even a little bit.
I can I can kind of if I closemy eyes and I try to think hard
enough, I feel like I can rem- Iremember that day.
Like I can see bits of that day.
SPEAKER_06 (41:10):
That's funny, man.
SPEAKER_07 (41:11):
I because same thing, I was like, because if it
was my younger brother, I wasprobably like three, maybe four.
SPEAKER_04 (41:20):
Cause he's two years behind me, so yeah, probably I
was probably about three or fouryears old when that one
happened.
SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
I don't think my brother and I have gotten food
fucking.
It's I'm trying to remember.
I don't think we ever did.
SPEAKER_07 (41:34):
Be a lot cooler if you did.
SPEAKER_00 (41:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (41:37):
Oh, whipping marshmallows at each other.
That was funny.
That was funny.
We're like fucking teenagerswhen we were doing that one, but
like we like this it was likeCall of Duty.
I feel like my younger brotheractually like dolphin dove like
over the couch and like flippedlike a table over or something
as like cover and was just likewhipping them.
That's funny as hell.
SPEAKER_00 (41:57):
I I take that back now that I I'm so my grandpa, he
had like the lot of land andstuff, and he had these little
apple trees, and they grew likethese just tiny green apples.
They were tiny tiny.
I no, they weren't, because youcould eat them.
SPEAKER_05 (42:15):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (42:16):
They were tiny, just tiny little green apples.
I don't know, maybe perhaps Idon't know.
But anyway, we would um breaksticks and then shove an apple
on the edge of it and wing it ateach other.
SPEAKER_05 (42:28):
Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (42:30):
Yeah.
And then we made and then wemade potato cannons.
SPEAKER_07 (42:36):
Oh yeah.
You and your fucking potatoes,you are a hobbit.
SPEAKER_00 (42:41):
Maybe.
SPEAKER_04 (42:43):
Guys, you are a fucking hobbit.
Potatoes!
SPEAKER_00 (42:46):
I'll never forget my cousin.
He was so you had to like cleanout the pipe, you know, that
like just do like a false thennothing in there, and then let
the, you know, blow some umaquanet hairspray down in there
and just let it he like singedhis.
(43:08):
He just I don't know why he helooked down in the barrel and
his face was engulfed, like itsinged like his eyebrows and
everything.
SPEAKER_07 (43:19):
Like old TV shows or whatever.
He picks it up, hey goes, youthink it's like this?
Like old Looney Tune.
He's licks he just picks hishead up, his face is all black,
his hair is like all blowingback, and just blink blink.
SPEAKER_00 (43:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (43:30):
And just fades to black, opens the next scene.
That's funny.
Oh, that is funny as hell.
SPEAKER_00 (43:37):
Yeah.
Oh god, they were sodestructive.
Well, yeah.
What do you expect?
I mean they have nothing else todo out in the country.
SPEAKER_07 (43:49):
I grew up in the suburbs.
We didn't have much shit to dothere either, so don't feel bad.
SPEAKER_00 (43:55):
So if you if you were to go to war over any food,
what would it be?
SPEAKER_03 (44:02):
Fucking gravy.
SPEAKER_00 (44:07):
Brown gravy.
SPEAKER_07 (44:09):
Yes, it is uh we have declared war.
I'm telling you, it it I guessit I guess it kind of depends on
I guess it kind of depends onthe situation.
Because you know, it's not likeoh, the people are just like,
you know, a lot of the ones youtalked about that were actual
wars, it was due to a taxationover something like that one.
(44:29):
So it's like it's not so muchthe people like, oh my god, we
fucking love potatoes so muchbecause you know, we should we
love sugar so much, oh my god.
It was like, no, it's becausethey were getting taxed like per
fucking granule.
Whatever.
So like they weren't it, itwasn't it wasn't the object, it
was the principle.
Principle of what the fuck washappening.
(44:50):
Um so I guess it really kind ofdepends on, but if they were if
I was just like stand my groundand like I will fucking ride or
die for this food.
SPEAKER_06 (45:07):
Probably donuts are buffalo chicken.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (45:15):
Like if like if like one day you turn on the TV,
Buffalo Chicken, you can't haveit anymore.
It's offensive, we're gettingrid of it.
I'm I'm starting the revolutionimmediately to that second.
That fucking second.
SPEAKER_00 (45:32):
Well, let me ask you this about buffalo chicken.
Do you is it do you like thelike the bone in or like the
boneless?
SPEAKER_07 (45:39):
Um I'm a slut for buffalo chicken, just like
Tolkien.
So, not saying that Tolkien wasa slut for buffalo chicken, I'm
a slut for Tolkien.
So even if it's bad, it's good.
So I so anything buffalochicken, it could be it could be
wings, it can be like wraps, itcan be mac and cheese, any form
of buffalo chicken, I'm afucking slut for it.
(46:00):
Now there are ones that arebetter than others, don't get me
wrong.
Um it kind of depends on uh theday in my we okay, maybe that's
what we'll do.
Another thing on like the foodepisode.
I have very weird food OCDs,like I'm very particular about
certain things with certain ofmy foods or whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (46:18):
Yeah, I am so.
SPEAKER_07 (46:18):
So if we're going out to get wings, like if we're
getting wing stop or where thefuck ever, if the place has
boneless wings, like I'm gettingboneless because it's just like
I'm stabbing it, it's chickennuggy, I don't care, talk shit,
I don't give a fuck.
But like if I'm watching thegame, like if I'm going
specific, hey, let's go towherever the hell to watch the
game and whatever the thought, Ineed bone in.
(46:39):
I need wings.
Wings.
If I'm if I'm there if it'sthere just to eat, I'm gonna get
boneless.
But if there's a purpose, likewe're gonna be watching
something or to be doingsomething else, or there's other
type of an engagement.
I want bone-in wings.
I don't know why.
SPEAKER_00 (46:54):
I'll tell you where where I'm picky with the bone in
is I do not like them breaded.
SPEAKER_07 (47:01):
Oh yeah, no, no, no, for sure.
If it's a bone-in wing, don'tyou dare put that shit in a
breading.
SPEAKER_00 (47:07):
No.
No.
I need crispy skin.
Sometimes I'll have them likedouble double fry it.
SPEAKER_07 (47:14):
Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:15):
Yeah, I need the crispy, I need the crispy skin
with the buffalo.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (47:20):
Yeah.
You know, you know w what Imiss?
Because I I'm pretty sure thecompany's gone or out.
I know they closed a bunch ofthem or whatever, but now all
seriousness, besides the obviousreasons, I fucking miss Hooters,
man.
Hooters.
SPEAKER_00 (47:37):
They had good wings.
They had really good wings.
Good wings.
SPEAKER_07 (47:41):
Like really good.
The sauce was, listen, all loveand respect to Hooters.
Like I said, your wings werefantastic.
Your sauces were kind of weaksauce, no pun intended, so and
so forth.
Like, I remembered like, okay,yeah, we got like a medium or
mild, something like that.
I was like, hey, we asked forsauce, and she was like, Yeah,
there is sauce.
I'm like, the fuck there is,lady.
And then, like, you know, theyhad the little bottles of hot
sauce.
I would still like fuck it up.
(48:01):
Like, me and my buddies,whenever we would go, we would
go through an entire bottle ofthe hot sauce that's on the
table.
And it was still like just kindof like normal.
So the sauce wasn't like that.
There was no heat to it.
It tastes good, it had decentflavor, all sorts kind of fun,
but there was like no heat.
And I don't want like my face tomelt off.
I don't want to look like thefucking Nazis at the end of
Raiders of the Lost Art.
I don't want to look like thatguy with the weird ass duck
(48:23):
face.
You know who I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_00 (48:24):
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (48:26):
But like, I want a little bit of kick to them, but
man, I but dude, their wings,they were so crispy.
And they were whole wings.
SPEAKER_01 (48:43):
We gotta wait.
SPEAKER_00 (48:44):
Whenever I hear it, I wait.
She did it again.
SPEAKER_07 (48:49):
Oh no, she down did it.
Oh, Lando again.
Anywho, it was whole wings thatyou had to break apart yourself.
You had the drum and the flat.
Best of both worlds.
Breast of both worlds, one wouldsay.
SPEAKER_00 (48:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (49:00):
I love Readersman.
Good shit.
SPEAKER_00 (49:03):
Yeah.
You know who has good who hasdecent wings, and uh it always
surprises me.
SPEAKER_07 (49:12):
Whom?
SPEAKER_00 (49:13):
Pizza Hut.
SPEAKER_07 (49:15):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (49:16):
Yeah.
They have a they have a thingnow where it's like um you can
get like 20 mini wing miniwings, and they're all drummies.
They're like teeny tiny littledrummies.
You can get 20 of them for like10 bucks.
SPEAKER_03 (49:29):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (49:30):
Um, they're really good.
SPEAKER_07 (49:32):
That's what's up.
That's I always love, you know,like the little surprise things.
And like, you know, all respectand also that kind of fun shit.
But like when a chain placesurprises you with having like
act like legitimately decentfood, like you're like, wait a
minute, this is like actuallygood.
Not just like chain good.
Like chain good is like, for themost part, you know, that bad.
(49:53):
You know what I mean?
Like, uh home everyone knowsthat like home cooked is better,
but like, you know, something ifa chain has decent food, like
well, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (50:00):
Yeah, either way.
SPEAKER_07 (50:01):
Um, that's always good.
I I won't, yeah.
I it's gonna be a very long timebefore I have Pizza Hut again,
if ever.
Not a not not a Pizza Hutperson.
SPEAKER_02 (50:12):
Hmm.
SPEAKER_07 (50:12):
Fan of the Hut.
Um, but I mean, I do I I I'lltry the wings.
I will try the wings, that's fordamn sure.
Yeah, 10 bucks for batchbachelor party trip.
Way back when, many moon ago.
SPEAKER_06 (50:28):
Right?
We went to um Dewey Beach inDelaware.
And at the end of the street,you know, it was about a house,
you know, we got like Airbnb,like off like the main drag
there.
And uh, if you walked right tothe corner, there's this little
mom and pop food joint.
SPEAKER_07 (50:48):
I call it a food joint because it like I said,
this is like a like a summertourist town.
Like, think of like a summertourist like beach town kind of
thing, right?
Like that's what it is.
It's like every other store iseither an ice cream shop, some
form of booze, bar, or whateverthe hell entertainment, and then
like the knick-knack paddywaxshop, where it's just like the
name on like every fuckinghoodie and shot glass you've
(51:09):
ever seen.
SPEAKER_02 (51:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (51:11):
Well, this particular mom and pop slop
shop, I'm telling you, it's thisgiant fucking sign, and it said
donuts, wings.
That's it.
It was a white sign and big redletters, and not donuts and
donuts wasn't a fun name, itjust said donuts wings, and I'm
(51:35):
like, let's go get breakfastfrom there, because they cut
donuts.
So it's not it's like me, mybrothers and my buddy Mike, we
go walking in there, and it islike it's about as big as your
average like living room.
There's no like tables, it'sjust like chairs.
Oh my god.
(51:55):
Just kind of sit there, and thenit's like the then it's just
like the counter.
Right above the counter is themenu, and there's this one dude
who definitely looks like justhim being in the building alone,
looks like they would fail theirhealth violations something.
He just looked like he would owna greasy spoon.
And then you look at the menu,and guess what they sold there?
SPEAKER_00 (52:20):
Hot dogs and onion rings.
SPEAKER_07 (52:23):
So close.
I'm telling you, they had twothings and two things only on
that menu.
I shit you not.
Now they had donuts, now theyhad donuts, and there was like a
whole bunch of different donuts,and they had wings at whole, but
when I tell you the only twothings they sold at this place
was donuts and wings.
There was no fucking oh, we wewe specialize in donuts and
(52:44):
wings, but you know, oh, we alsogot a grill, so you can get like
a breakfast sandwich, or you canget a hot donut.
It's like, no, you want donutsor wings, you're in the right
fucking place.
You want anything else?
Fuck off.
I'm telling you.
And you can order anywhere fromone to ten thousand chicken
wings.
Oh, geez.
Because I guess in this areathey have like a chicken wing
(53:06):
competition, whatever thefucking they're like the main
sponsor, whatever the hell ofit, so on and so forth.
So they have like the chickenwing plug, or they are the
chicken wing plug.
Um, you can order anywhere fromwhat, and I think once you get
over a thousand, you have tolike order, you know, like like
what is it?
Like Sam's Club and Costco.
If you're gonna put like a bigorder with them, it's gotta be
like a day in advance so theycan kind of do it in the gord
(53:26):
and prep it on.
Yeah, it was just okay.
Anything over a thousand.
I can get a thousand wings justat the ready.
I can walk in and order athousand wings.
SPEAKER_00 (53:33):
Good lord.
SPEAKER_07 (53:34):
And they were just like, Bet, got you, give me like
30 minutes, and like that's allthey fucking sold there was
donuts and wings.
SPEAKER_00 (53:41):
Wow.
SPEAKER_07 (53:42):
Oh man.
And when I tell you that theyused the same fryers for all of
them, I was gonna say they foundtheir niche.
SPEAKER_00 (53:48):
They it was like we're really good at two things.
SPEAKER_07 (53:53):
No, they're good at one thing, they just do it
twice.
And I said, We're good at onething and one thing only fucking
frying shit.
We're gonna either gonna frydonut, we're gonna fry donuts
until I want a chicken wing, andthen I'm gonna start cooking
chicken wings.
And those wings were fuckingdelicious.
They were they were so good.
SPEAKER_00 (54:10):
I bet.
SPEAKER_04 (54:11):
Oh man, it was so fucking funny.
SPEAKER_07 (54:14):
I love when a place gets a little shit like that.
But yeah.
Oh yeah, Buffalo Chicken Man,wings.
SPEAKER_06 (54:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:22):
Fuck, I want wings now.
Well, you're welcome.
SPEAKER_02 (54:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:26):
You're welcome for that.
SPEAKER_02 (54:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:31):
All right, my silly dear geese out there in the
audience.
SPEAKER_07 (54:36):
Wow, that was a fucking stretch.
SPEAKER_00 (54:42):
This has been your crash course in all the ways
humanity has chosen violenceover food.
Molasses tsunamis, eggnogbattles, potato thievery,
exploding cheese.
Basically, this has taught usthat we are not okay as a
society, as a as a species, andwe never have been.
So thank you for hanging outwith us today.
(55:04):
We will be back next week withmore chaos, questionable facts,
who knows what we're gonna do.
So until then, stay silly, staycurious.
And if you ever see atwenty-five-foot wave of
molasses coming towards you,pal, do you want to say goodbye?
(55:30):
Oh God.
I wish you could see I was mybody was at full tension.
This is gonna be loud.
(55:51):
Only for a little honk.
SPEAKER_07 (55:54):
That's what she said.
SPEAKER_00 (55:58):
Goodbye.
And then this thing about potatoes, you're gonna
love.
I do know that there was uh a apotato mafia that was in effect
in the nineteen seventies.
SPEAKER_05 (00:20):
The spud foda.
SPEAKER_04 (00:26):
Oh god.
Potato mafia.
SPEAKER_00 (00:31):
Yes.
In the nineteen seventies inOregon and Idaho, they were Of
course it was Idaho.
They were stealing potatoes, andwe're talking millions of
dollars worth of potatoes.
Farmers had to hire armed guardsfor their crops.
People were hijacking trucksfull of potatoes, like fast and
(00:51):
furious, the tuber drift.
I I don't know.
Fast and furious tuber drift.
SPEAKER_07 (00:59):
I'm just picturing like Ezekiel and the Faniol with
like their fucking carriagestrying to do that whole like
shooting under the tractortrailer in the first movie.
I'm just seeing Ezekiel justlike waha, waha, whatever the
fuck, and then just like meowand then boom, there he fucking
goes into the ditch.
SPEAKER_00 (01:30):
Before we begin today's episode, we would like
to share a quick disclaimer.
The views, opinions, andstatements expressed by the
hosts and guests on this podcastare their own personal views and
are provided in their owncapacity.
All content is editorial,opinion-based, and intended for
entertainment purposes only.
(01:52):
Listener discretion is advised.
Welcome back to the Silly GooseSociety, where I'm bringing
facts, chaos, and questionableresearch.
And Kyle is going to show upwith whatever gremlin energy
he's carrying today.
SPEAKER_06 (02:09):
I'm just doing my goddamn best.
SPEAKER_00 (02:12):
Aren't we all?
Well, today I have somethingspecial for you.
Because apparently in America,and honestly, humanity in
general, we have a long, stupid,absolutely glorious history of
going to war or battles orhaving tragedies happen over
(02:35):
food.
Yes?
Food.
The stuff we've got.
The things we eat.
The things we eat, the things weargue about at Thanksgiving.
And then some people burn onpurpose.
Not looking at you, Kyle, sinceyou were cooking this morning.
SPEAKER_06 (02:53):
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't burn on purpose,alright?
Like it was just never mind.
We're not getting into that.
SPEAKER_00 (03:00):
All right, buckle up.
The first thing that I want totalk about is the great molasses
flood.
SPEAKER_07 (03:09):
Oh my god.
I literally just heard of thisyesterday through a fucking
TikTok.
SPEAKER_00 (03:17):
Great.
So this is the great this is thegreat molasses flood of 1919.
So I get to do this.
Picture this.
Boston.
January, 1919.
You do it better though.
SPEAKER_07 (03:32):
Well, yeah, because you gotta do the Sicily part
first.
Picture this.
Sicily, 1919.
No, wait, wrong one.
Picture this.
Boston 1919.
SPEAKER_00 (03:42):
There's a giant 50-foot tank full of 2.3 million
gallons of hot molasses.
SPEAKER_07 (03:52):
That was my nickname in high school.
SPEAKER_00 (03:54):
Hot molasses.
SPEAKER_07 (03:56):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (03:58):
So this tank had been leaking for months.
And residents literallycomplained that it groaned.
And instead of fixing it, thecompany just literally just
painted it brown so you couldn'tsee the leaks.
Fucking Boston.
It'll be all right.
Right.
That was the solution.
(04:19):
Just paint over the problem.
SPEAKER_07 (04:20):
I gotta go see the socks.
It'll be fine.
Fucking Boston, man.
SPEAKER_00 (04:25):
So then one afternoon, the tank straight up
explodes.
It doesn't crack, it doesn'tleak.
It just fucking explodes.
And what ensued was a 25-footwave of molasses coming
barreling through Boston at 35miles an hour.
(04:47):
Imagine that.
SPEAKER_07 (04:48):
It could have literally gotten a speeding
ticket.
SPEAKER_00 (04:50):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (04:51):
The residential area is cool as zone.
It could have got a speedingticket.
SPEAKER_00 (04:56):
Right.
It was moving faster than somecars move in the mornings.
And it swept away buildings,twisted an entire elevated train
line.
It knocked people over likebowling pins.
And so, like molasses obviouslyis denser than water.
So once you were down, you werenot getting back up.
(05:18):
There were people who weresuffocated in the syrup.
Horses got stuck like they were.
SPEAKER_07 (05:24):
That's a song title.
I'm sorry.
Suffocated in the syrup.
Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (05:31):
But horses got stuck in like, you know, stuck in
this.
It was like some kind of bad, Idon't know, Jurassic reboot or
something.
Firefighters were literallytrying to chop through molasses
with axes.
And then the wildest part ofthis whole story is that then
for decades on hot days, theneighborhood smelled like
(05:55):
molasses.
I mean, this went on fordecades.
SPEAKER_07 (05:58):
Well, I mean, it's better than the smell of Boston
now.
Well, you know.
Upgrade.
SPEAKER_00 (06:03):
And here's a question.
Could you imagine?
Okay, you died in this thing,right?
And you come back as a ghost.
Do you think the ghosts smelledlike molasses?
SPEAKER_05 (06:15):
I think does.
SPEAKER_00 (06:20):
Just imagine if you have a haunted house, somebody
comes in and is like, why doesyour house smell like pancakes?
Oh, it's I just have a stickyghost running around.
SPEAKER_07 (06:30):
Wait, first off, why are you panc why are you putting
molasses anywhere near yourpancakes?
One.
Ginger snaps.
Like ginger snaps.
Yeah, do you know who people do?
Dumb people and old people.
Oh my god.
It's just I can't think ofthat's a that's a that's a
specific level of hell is to belike drowned andor boiled by
(06:52):
molasses.
A 25-foot wave of molasses.
When it first started like oh,the molasses blood of Boston of
1919.
It made me think of that scenein Austin Powers.
No with like the steamroller,and he's like a hundred feet
away, just going so slow.
Like it's molasses.
Like, get out of the way.
Just like step.
Look, I'll do it again.
(07:13):
I'm not even tired.
You know what I mean?
But like, no, it was like it was30 miles an hour.
Like, yeah.
That's fast as fuck.
SPEAKER_00 (07:19):
That is, I mean, like, oof, I can't even imagine.
And like it it twisted, ittwisted metal.
SPEAKER_07 (07:29):
Great video game.
Um yeah, because it was likehot.
And it's just like stuck on you.
Right?
Like it was boiling, it wasbeing cooked, so like that's
even that.
So the the fact that peoplesuffocated and they didn't like
cook to death.
SPEAKER_00 (07:46):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (07:47):
That's not a good thing.
SPEAKER_00 (07:52):
I don't know what what kind of person this makes
me, but anytime I hear storieslike this, I always think like
the poor animals.
Like, I just see them as likethey're so innocent.
Like, what why did the horsesdeserve?
Not like people deserved it, butlike some of them probably did.
SPEAKER_07 (08:09):
It was Boston.
SPEAKER_00 (08:10):
Right, but like let's not forget that.
The poor horses and you know,the animals that got caught in
like what did they uh can youimagine just like you know,
you're just a squirrel up at ayou know, going up in a tree,
and you just all of a sudden arefrozen in molasses.
SPEAKER_07 (08:26):
Like, yo, Tim, Tim, he ain't gonna fucking believe
this.
Tell me.
SPEAKER_00 (08:34):
Oh shit.
SPEAKER_04 (08:35):
That's horrible.
SPEAKER_00 (08:37):
Well, now I want to slide into some Christmas lore.
You ready for this one?
SPEAKER_02 (08:44):
Help me with that.
SPEAKER_00 (08:45):
All right.
So this is the year is 1826.
SPEAKER_01 (08:50):
Picture this.
SPEAKER_00 (08:54):
And this is the West Point eggnog riot.
You ever heard of this one?
SPEAKER_07 (09:02):
No, but that's so fucking ridiculous.
SPEAKER_00 (09:06):
So they had a the military academy West Point had
a full-blown riot over eggnog.
Tell you that, right?
Right, because of course theydid.
So in 1826, the cadets were notallowed any alcohol.
So they smuggled in whiskey fromthe local taverns, but it wasn't
like one bottle or two bottles.
(09:29):
Um, it was enough to turnChristmas Eve into some kind of
like frontier frat party.
They mixed it into all of theeggnog.
Um, and they got obliterated.
And I mean absolutelyobliterated.
SPEAKER_03 (09:47):
As you do.
SPEAKER_00 (09:49):
So then, you know, the officers come in and they
try to shut the party down, andthe the cadets are basically
like, nah, nah, it's nothappening.
SPEAKER_02 (09:58):
Nah nah.
SPEAKER_00 (09:59):
So they start grabbing chairs and canes and
sticks and fireplace tools.
Um, one guy grabbed a fuckingsword.
SPEAKER_07 (10:10):
That's probably Edgar Allan Poe.
SPEAKER_00 (10:13):
Grabbed a sword to defend eggnog, and then a gun
goes off.
SPEAKER_07 (10:20):
That was Edgar Allan Poe, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (10:22):
Yeah.
Doors are kicked in, officersare getting punched, 90 cadets
are drunk in rioting, and itbecomes an actual like battle
over a dairy product.
SPEAKER_07 (10:35):
A horrible dairy product, mind you.
SPEAKER_00 (10:37):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (10:38):
I hate eggnog.
SPEAKER_00 (10:39):
So, and here's here's my favorite fun fact
future Confederate presidentJefferson Davis was involved in
this riot, but he did not getpunished.
SPEAKER_02 (10:51):
Right.
Classic.
SPEAKER_00 (10:55):
So there you have the eggnog riot.
What would have okay, if youwere in that, what would have
been your weapon of choice?
SPEAKER_07 (11:03):
Whatever the fuck I could grab.
Whatever's closest to me.
Is it a bottle?
Is it a fire poker?
Is it Tim from Barracks C?
Probably.
Whatever the fuck I grabbed atthe time, man.
SPEAKER_00 (11:17):
I think the I think the ladle would have been a good
weapon.
SPEAKER_07 (11:20):
The ladle.
SPEAKER_00 (11:21):
Ladle, ladle, ladle.
So yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (11:26):
Um is he just swinging a fucking ladle?
I don't know why, but my brainimmediately went to Bug's Life
when the ladybug grabs the stickand he was like, Little John, my
sword.
The way he just like parries it.
I just see you like that with afucking ladle.
And like one of those giantfucking like West Point like
cadet hats, which is which looksit's just those giant, it's like
(11:48):
the top hat, but without thelittle just a little brim in
front and not a hole around.
You know kind of fucking hat I'mtalking about, like a marching
band hat.
I just see you with one ofthose, just like fucking like
parry this, you fucking casual,with a goddamn ladle.
SPEAKER_00 (12:02):
Alright.
Well, you know my one of myfavorite foods, right?
SPEAKER_07 (12:07):
Brown gravy.
SPEAKER_00 (12:08):
No, the other one.
SPEAKER_07 (12:09):
Coleslaw.
SPEAKER_00 (12:10):
No, the other one.
SPEAKER_07 (12:12):
Sadness.
SPEAKER_00 (12:14):
Okay, you're you're you're three for three.
No.
Madame Thousand.
Potatoes.
Potatoes.
SPEAKER_07 (12:23):
Boil the mashum, stick them in a stew.
SPEAKER_00 (12:28):
I don't know that.
What is that?
There's a song, right?
Boil the mash, stick them in thesteps.
It's Lord of the Rings.
SPEAKER_07 (12:39):
Potatoes, boil the mashum, stick them in a stew.
I mean, it might be a song, buthe literally says that in Lord
of the Rings.
SPEAKER_00 (12:47):
I swear those lyrics are in some stupid song.
SPEAKER_07 (12:49):
They might be, and that's probably what he did with
it, but like I'm I that that'sjust that's Sam Wise Gamge, and
I will put both of them on achopping block against you on
that one that it's not.
unknown (12:59):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (13:01):
All right.
Anywho, um, so this is uh theGreat Potato War.
So this is a warfare that wasfueled by carbs.
And all of them.
All of them.
So this is in 17 the 1770s, um,and it involves the Bavarian
(13:27):
Succession War.
unknown (13:29):
The Bavarian success.
SPEAKER_00 (13:31):
So you're ready for it?
SPEAKER_07 (13:33):
I was about as ready as I'm gonna be.
SPEAKER_00 (13:35):
All right, so you know, it's wartime, and these
people are you know, becauseEurope, right?
You're right, because Europe.
But in this particular skirmish,um, the soldiers spent more time
stealing each other's potatoesthan actually fighting.
And I'm not even kidding aboutthat.
(13:56):
So we have two armies runningaround Europe like raccoons in
uniform, raiding farms.
Uniforms?
Raccooniforms, they're raidingfarms, potato sellers, and the
civilians are like loudlycomplaining.
Like, you know, you guys are do,you know, have your pissing
contests, but can we at leasthave our potatoes?
SPEAKER_07 (14:18):
So talk to my fucking spuds.
SPEAKER_00 (14:21):
Right.
So it it gets better because inAmerica, potatoes also sparked
some violence.
So during literally every day.
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (14:34):
Literally every day.
SPEAKER_00 (14:36):
During World War II, there were rationing that led to
grocery store fights.
Actually, people during WorldWar II were getting in brawls
over potatoes.
And then this thing aboutpotatoes, you're gonna love.
Did you know that there was uh apotato mafia that was in effect
(15:00):
in the nineteen seventies?
SPEAKER_05 (15:08):
The spud foda.
SPEAKER_04 (15:14):
Oh god.
So yeah, in potato mafia.
SPEAKER_00 (15:19):
Yes, in the nineteen seventies in Oregon and Idaho,
they were Of course it wasIdaho.
They were stealing potatoes, andwe're talking millions of
dollars worth of potatoes.
Farmers had to hire armed guardsfor their crops.
People were hijacking trucksfull of potatoes, like, you
know, I don't know, like fastand furious, the tuber drift.
(15:43):
I I don't know.
Fast and furious tuber drift.
SPEAKER_07 (15:48):
I'm just picturing like Ezekiel and the Faniol with
like their fucking carriagestrying to do that whole like
shooting under the tractortrailer in the first movie.
I'm just seeing Ezekiel justlike waha, waha, whatever the
fuck, and then just like mealand then boom, there he fucking
goes into the ditch.
Just a goddamn nightmare.
Fuck, what do we got?
(16:09):
Family.
And also the Sabbath.
I don't know why I'm going Amishwith this, but oh no, because
these are just farmers.
SPEAKER_00 (16:18):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (16:21):
Yeah, I don't know why I would Amish and farmers,
they just it's that's just mybrain goes.
SPEAKER_00 (16:29):
So I have like uh like a little bit of a
compilation of a bunch of I meanI found so I I did not realize
the history that the world hadfighting over food.
Um but in Harvard in 1766, therewas the Great Butter Rebellion.
SPEAKER_07 (16:48):
They That's great.
SPEAKER_00 (16:50):
They the students rioted because the dining hall
served rancid butter for toolong, and then they refused to
attend classes, they protestedin the yard, and eventually the
college was shut down over this.
SPEAKER_07 (17:06):
Harvard shut down over butter.
SPEAKER_00 (17:08):
Over butter.
SPEAKER_07 (17:09):
Oh my god.
SPEAKER_00 (17:11):
And then we moved to France in 1775.
And so they had um basically aderegulated grain market, and
bread prices like skyrocketed.
SPEAKER_07 (17:29):
Okay, now that I did know because of the French
Revolution.
SPEAKER_00 (17:33):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (17:33):
That was one of the things that led up to the French
Revolution.
Because like, ah shit.
Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (17:39):
Because of this riot, this was like the prequel
to the guillotine era era.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (17:44):
Just a little funny.
Because they had like horrible,like literally, they had like
like three or four yearsstraight of like fuck awful
weather, which like destroyedthe crops.
So like the peasants and thefarmers had no wheat, no grain,
no nothing for bread.
But all the rich cunts still hadmore than enough bread.
(18:05):
But like, yeah, the price ofbread went from like let's we'll
say like a dollar a loaf, likeyou know, like US dollars, like
went from like a dollar a loafto like a hundred dollars a loaf
or like two hundred dollars aloaf almost overnight.
SPEAKER_00 (18:18):
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, and then in the 1950s, um,there were the pasta protests of
the pasta protests in Naples.
SPEAKER_07 (18:34):
In Naples checks out, all checks out.
SPEAKER_00 (18:38):
So back in the 50s, Italy tried to push rice as a
new national carb.
And it was used to think likethey wanted to boost rice
production.
And basically, the people saidover our dead bodies, it's pasta
or nice.
SPEAKER_07 (18:55):
We're talking about Italy.
It's not over mind, it's overyour dead body there, Jack.
SPEAKER_00 (18:59):
Like literally, people were marching in the
streets waving like macaroniImagine that.
You talk about pasta in my son.
SPEAKER_07 (19:16):
Just scream at him.
Oh man.
SPEAKER_00 (19:20):
So in 1871, there was the orange riot of New York.
SPEAKER_07 (19:26):
Well, there's about to be another orange riot in New
York in 2025.
But I digress.
SPEAKER_00 (19:32):
But we digress.
Um, so this started as a paradeinvolving the Protestant Orange
Order, and it ended in a streetbrawl um because of all of the
uh food vendors, you know, andthey had their oranges, and like
oranges were flying everywhere.
(19:54):
Orange peels, like dozens ofpeople were injured.
And it wasn't like food wasn'tnecessarily the cause, but it
absolutely lit the match becauseit was just like an endless
supply of oranges to chuck ateach other.
SPEAKER_07 (20:14):
God, that's like oh yeah, no, people were
absolutely.
I wouldn't be surprised if acouple people died because of
that.
Because man, oranges aren't likeeven like tangerines and like
clementines and shit.
I mean, you get the right armbehind it, man.
You just get it.
You can have a bad fucking day.
You take one of those to theeye.
SPEAKER_00 (20:31):
Right, right.
SPEAKER_07 (20:32):
Jesus.
SPEAKER_00 (20:34):
So we we as Americans, we we kind of know
the uh, you know, our ourhistory, or we should know our
history a little bit.
But um, you know, the sugar,there were there were the sugar
act protests of 1764.
And this was, you know,basically the sugar taxes.
Um yeah.
(20:55):
You know, we had a sweet tooth,we wanted our sugar, and King
George did not agree.
So there were protests over thesugar taxes.
SPEAKER_02 (21:06):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_00 (21:07):
Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_07 (21:08):
Once again, fucking Boston and fucking shit up
because of food.
Sugar, the tea, the molasses,it's all come full circle with
this one.
SPEAKER_00 (21:18):
And then the probably the only time I don't
know that much about Canadianhistory, but I don't, you know,
as a nation, I don't see them asparticularly violent.
SPEAKER_01 (21:30):
Oh.
SPEAKER_00 (21:31):
But in 1945, they had a candy bar strike.
SPEAKER_02 (21:37):
A candy bar strike.
SPEAKER_00 (21:39):
So candy bar prices doubled overnight, and teenagers
revolted.
SPEAKER_03 (21:45):
Like you had Hershey bar yesterday, it cost me a
fucking loony, and I was costingme a toonie, but go fuck
yourself.
Your mom's gotta be taking apiss out her ass on that one,
buddy.
SPEAKER_00 (21:58):
Oh god, yes.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so they they startedprotesting in the streets, and
they had signs like we want fairprices.
SPEAKER_07 (22:08):
If that's not too much of an inconvenience for
you.
SPEAKER_00 (22:11):
Yeah, yeah.
And I I just imagine all oftheir street signs end with dot
dot dot a.
SPEAKER_07 (22:17):
No, probably dot dot dot please a question mark.
SPEAKER_00 (22:21):
Uh but the you know, the police had to shut it down,
and it was just uh like ahistorical big fight over big
chocolate, basically.
SPEAKER_07 (22:30):
Fight over big chocolate.
I'm seeing fucking Willy Wonkathere, just like a beater, a fat
fucking stogie, just countingjust mountains of cash.
unknown (22:41):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (22:41):
Odd job comes in with a fucking orange face and
green hair.
SPEAKER_00 (22:46):
And then speaking of going back to rice um in Japan
in 1918, they they ri riotedover rice.
Um the price of rice explodedand uh over a million twice.
(23:07):
Shit.
Oh the uh like over a millionpeople protested across Japan,
and it the riots lasted weeks,and government literally fell
during this.
Um, so it was rice that uhcaused the government to fall in
(23:30):
this instant, not gold, notweapons, just rice.
SPEAKER_07 (23:37):
God, I had like 50 jokes, like the entire time that
you're doing that.
So the rice, you know, the priceof rice is doubled twice, you
know.
What's that?
What is that?
A stor uh a story about economicdisaster by Dr.
Seuss.
SPEAKER_00 (23:51):
Yeah, I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_07 (23:53):
So that one's uh that the entire government shut
down because of rice this time.
Yeah, not not not gold, not war.
Yeah, not waking the sleepinggiant that is the American Navy,
you know, this and not atomicenergy.
SPEAKER_00 (24:05):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (24:06):
Other things about Japan, World War II, but but I
digress.
SPEAKER_00 (24:12):
So in Germany, over multiple years, yeah, they yeah,
um, they had what they call um aseries of years of beer haul
conflicts.
unknown (24:26):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (24:27):
So like beer, you know, isn't technically a food,
I guess.
I don't know.
But anyway, I found it amusing.
But every time the governmenthas tried to regulate beer
prices or the purity of beer, itseems like everyone in Germany
lost their fucking minds.
Um and so beer, you know, isbasically their emotional
(24:47):
support animal.
SPEAKER_07 (24:48):
Oh, yeah.
It's it's like like allseriousness, it's like sacred to
the German people.
Like they take it so fuckingseriously.
It's like white people inturtlenecks and Napa Valley and
wine.
It's like don't fuck with it,man.
Like they'll they they'll be.
SPEAKER_00 (25:11):
So then we come back to New York.
New York has had a lot ofprotests over a lot of things.
It's New York, what do youexpect?
It's New York, what do youexpect?
So um if you can protest there,you can protest anyway.
SPEAKER_04 (25:25):
Forget about it.
SPEAKER_00 (25:28):
In 1907, there were milk riots.
Um, so the milk sellers raisedprices, and this one the
literally the queens, themothers and the children staged
street revolts, and you hadwomen out there overturning milk
carts, smashing bottles,terrorizing distributors, um
(25:51):
pushing their boobs together.
Actually, I think I think that'skind of uh iconic, you know, for
the for the women to getinvolved in this one.
SPEAKER_07 (26:02):
Exactly.
Iconic?
I think you mean ironic.
I mean iconic, yeah.
It's probably fucking great,man.
Like, yes, queen, yas, down withbig milk.
SPEAKER_00 (26:12):
Right.
Um, okay.
Oh, wait, here's another canCanadian one.
SPEAKER_07 (26:17):
They had Oh wait, there's more.
Angry Canadians.
SPEAKER_00 (26:21):
Yeah, they had uh a lobster liberation protest.
SPEAKER_07 (26:26):
The lobster liberation protest of Canada.
SPEAKER_00 (26:30):
Of Canada, yeah.
So uh animal rights groupsstarted freeing lobsters from
tanks in seafood markets.
And then, you know, basicallythe fishermen were fighting
back, and it was just a shitshow in Canada over uh lobsters.
And so, yeah, you just had tinylobster jail breaks ensuing all
(26:52):
over the place.
SPEAKER_07 (26:53):
I'm just seeing PETA running into like red lobster
with like the tank right therein the front with a hammer going
like smashing and then just likepouring out, and this lobster is
just like what the fuck?
Yeah, Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00 (27:09):
Bring in the dancing lobsters.
So in Georgia in the 1980s,there was a peach boycott.
SPEAKER_07 (27:20):
Georgia boycotting peaches.
SPEAKER_00 (27:21):
Right.
So farmers protested the drop ofwholesale prices um by dumping
entire truckloads of peaches onhighways.
And uh yeah, like um, yeah,people were complaining over
what the farmers are doing.
The farmers were complainingover what the government was
(27:42):
doing.
Um, everyone was crying aboutsomething, and everything was
like really, really sticky.
And you know how I feel aboutsticky stuff.
SPEAKER_07 (27:52):
That was a great fuck.
That was a great fucking lineright there that can sum up.
I feel like the past like 30years of America.
Everyone was yelling andfighting over something, and
everything was just sticky.
unknown (28:02):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (28:03):
The past like 30 years of American history.
That's it.
People are just fighting andyelling, and everything is
sticky.
SPEAKER_00 (28:09):
Everything.
SPEAKER_07 (28:13):
My family on the holidays.
SPEAKER_00 (28:16):
Um, oh, this is a fun one.
So um in Colombia in 1928, therewas the banana massacre.
SPEAKER_07 (28:27):
The ban massacre.
SPEAKER_00 (28:29):
Massacre, yeah.
So this was a deadly tragicconflict between striking banana
plantation workers and militaryforces.
SPEAKER_02 (28:41):
Oh.
SPEAKER_00 (28:41):
And this is this this whole like war that broke
out is the origin of the termbanana republic.
SPEAKER_07 (28:53):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (28:53):
Mm-hmm.
Huh.
So it's a little dark, buthistorically huge, you know, pop
culture moment.
SPEAKER_07 (29:07):
I I need to know how if you could if you could sum it
up.
If we need to talk about itlater, that's fine.
But say I need to know howBanana Republic came a thing out
of like, you know, whatever,apparently about this massive
tragedy and horrendous massacre,because that's a yuppie white
people store.
SPEAKER_00 (29:27):
Right.
SPEAKER_07 (29:28):
And I need to know what type of mass murder
happened.
We go, ooh, khakis.
Like, you know what I mean?
SPEAKER_00 (29:38):
You know, it's probably just one of those
things that, you know, it it wasgained like the moniker during
the skirmish nineteen twentyeight.
You fast forward, it becomeskind of like center stage and
just everyday language.
You know, what do you think, youknow, your banana republic or
you know?
(29:58):
And then and then something.
SPEAKER_03 (30:00):
You think you want a fucking Banana Republic?
Well, actually I do.
SPEAKER_07 (30:04):
All right.
SPEAKER_00 (30:05):
And then somebody in corporate, you know, a marketing
team were like, this would be agood name for a store.
And somebody else said, Yeah,let's do it.
SPEAKER_07 (30:15):
You want to piss off the Colombians?
This is what we're going to do.
SPEAKER_00 (30:18):
This is what we're going to do.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (30:20):
We're going to fucking dress like them.
Um we're going to call it this.
SPEAKER_00 (30:27):
Let's see.
Uh in the 1930s, there was araisin rebellion where farmers
refused to sell raisins at lowgovernment prices.
And so yeah, there were therewas a whole standoff over
raisins.
SPEAKER_07 (30:43):
Jesus Christ.
It's not even over likebratwurst or like onion rings or
you know, something buffalochicken.
Like, no, it's over fuckingraisins.
SPEAKER_00 (30:55):
Well, funny as it should say uh sausage.
SPEAKER_07 (31:00):
I said bratwurst.
SPEAKER_00 (31:02):
Well, bratwurst in 1917 in Sweden, there was a
sausage war.
SPEAKER_07 (31:08):
That checks out.
That math.
I don't need to show the Carfax.
All of that makes sense to me.
Moving on.
SPEAKER_00 (31:16):
So like food shortages led to riots, and
politicians were literallyattacked with strings of
sausages.
SPEAKER_07 (31:24):
Strings of sausages.
There's nothing we can do aboutyour high tax process.
Well, test my sausage there,Lundenvigel.
My eyes in your sausage in myeyes.
SPEAKER_00 (31:40):
The thing I love about this whole episode so far
is the sheer number of uh likeaccents you can do.
SPEAKER_07 (31:49):
Horrible accents that I've been doing.
Wildly offensive and very broadstroke accents.
I did a horrible Alberta.
That's an absolute, like, that'smore.
It was like finish with like aNorwegian undertone with like a
Danish topping, and I'm passtrying to pass it as Swede.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (32:09):
Um, okay, so in Bolivia there was a chicken
crisis where we got oblivion.
There were chicken shortagesthat led to protests, uh,
political shouting matches, anduh black market poultry runs.
SPEAKER_07 (32:26):
So just any day in Bolivia.
So just Tuesday for Bolivia.
SPEAKER_00 (32:29):
Yeah, just it's just a Tuesday.
SPEAKER_07 (32:30):
It's just Tuesday.
Bah, big whoop.
SPEAKER_00 (32:32):
Yeah.
Um, let's see here.
We've got the tamale riots inLos Angeles of 1894.
SPEAKER_07 (32:40):
I am very veteran.
Tamales are one of my favoritefoods.
All the information you haveright now.
SPEAKER_00 (32:45):
So the police were trying to crack down on tamale
street vendors.
SPEAKER_07 (32:52):
Fucking assholes.
SPEAKER_00 (32:53):
The public basically said uh no.
SPEAKER_02 (32:58):
Like, I'm dug.
SPEAKER_00 (33:00):
And uh yeah, there were street fights and a
full-blown, like um likeorganized, calculated resistance
about the crackdown of thestreet vendors.
SPEAKER_07 (33:14):
What's like the big song?
It's this organized riots andrebellions again.
I'm just seeing Le Miz.
But and it's not even like theFrench flag, it's not even the
Mexican flag, it's just a flagwith a tamale on it, and they're
just like marching in thestreets, like waving the fucking
flag, singing some song abouttamales.
And I agree.
(33:36):
Fight the good fight, brother.
SPEAKER_00 (33:38):
So this one, it it's not necessarily a war or a
fight.
Um, but and I gave it this name.
This is my uh I I'm nicknamingthis one uh the Pudding Lane
Incident of London of night of1666.
SPEAKER_07 (33:54):
The pudding lane, you couldn't have come up with
anything shorter, Jesus Christ.
Like, what are you in charge offucking naming Fallout Boy and
Panic at the Disco's fuckingsong titles?
Yes.
I write since not tragedy on aTuesday night in Calcutta with
my dog.
Like, what get fucked, bud?
Like, I came up with this name.
The pudding incident of 1666 onDownton Abbey with ever the
(34:16):
fucking shit in London.
What the fuck?
Call it Pudding Pop Off.
Do that, call it that.
SPEAKER_00 (34:23):
It's pudding pop off.
SPEAKER_07 (34:25):
There you go.
SPEAKER_00 (34:26):
Um in 1666, there was a it and it is known as the
Great Fire of London, okay?
SPEAKER_07 (34:34):
But it already had a name and you renamed it Jesus
Christ.
SPEAKER_00 (34:37):
But it really had an easier name.
SPEAKER_07 (34:40):
I can make it better.
Uh Jesus Christ.
SPEAKER_00 (34:44):
So this started it, but it all started in a bakery.
And uh usually does.
Yeah, the bakery um it caught onfire, exploded, and then all of
London basically caught on fire.
It was it was a food-causedapocalypse of 1666.
I said there were a lot of namesI could have given that one.
SPEAKER_07 (35:08):
Yeah, and you took a word from each one of them and
threw it all into the actualname that you gave it.
SPEAKER_00 (35:16):
What I want to do now is um I want to read a
couple and you tell me whetherthese are real or not.
SPEAKER_03 (35:25):
I want them all to be real.
SPEAKER_00 (35:27):
Okay.
Um So there was a great jellouprising of fifth 1954.
Utah women were refusing toserve lime jello until husbands
learned to season their meatproperly.
SPEAKER_07 (35:48):
Okay, do you mean to actually season the meat or like
season their meat?
SPEAKER_00 (35:53):
Like Oh, well, I think it's actually meat, not.
SPEAKER_07 (35:56):
Not like how to I thought it was just like we're
not serving you any green jellotill you know the fucking finger
trick.
Like, that's what you weregetting at.
It's not hysteria.
You just got bitch-ass handsthere, Arthur.
SPEAKER_00 (36:10):
Right.
So what do you think?
Is that real or fake?
SPEAKER_07 (36:15):
That was real.
That sounds like some dumbassUtah shit.
SPEAKER_00 (36:17):
No, that's a fake one.
SPEAKER_07 (36:19):
No, it was real.
SPEAKER_00 (36:21):
In your head canon, it's now real.
SPEAKER_07 (36:23):
In actual canon.
Technically, I'm not wrongbecause in the infinite universe
uh thing, there is a universewhere that happened.
SPEAKER_00 (36:32):
Yeah, well, you know, if you if you go in the
the multiple.
SPEAKER_07 (36:36):
The multiverse theory.
There it is.
The multiverse theory.
SPEAKER_00 (36:38):
There we go.
Yeah.
All right, so the next one (36:40):
the great cheese fire of 2013.
A warehouse caught fire, andgiant blocks of cheese exploded
like grenades.
SPEAKER_07 (36:51):
Blocks, the blocks of cheese.
The cheese themselves explodedlike grenades.
SPEAKER_00 (36:55):
Yep.
SPEAKER_07 (36:56):
It was real.
SPEAKER_00 (36:57):
It was real.
SPEAKER_07 (36:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (37:00):
Are you looking this up?
Are you looking these up?
Are you looking at this?
No, I'm not.
SPEAKER_07 (37:04):
I'm serious.
I'm just gonna say I'm justgonna I'm gonna say every single
one of them is real.
unknown (37:08):
Okay.
SPEAKER_07 (37:08):
I'm gonna say every one of them is real.
SPEAKER_00 (37:11):
All right.
Uh, the baguette bayonetbayonetting incident.
SPEAKER_07 (37:16):
Okay, let's see.
I almost said fake because itwas too ridiculous of a name,
but then you're saying it, soyeah, it was real.
SPEAKER_00 (37:24):
French bakers use stale baguettes as weapons
during a protest.
Marie! The baguette! I'm armed.
Uh that is fake.
That never happened.
I mean, you know, okay, in themultiverse, maybe in the
(37:44):
multiverse.
SPEAKER_07 (37:44):
In the multiverse, it definitely happened.
In the multiverse, somewhere itnever minds.
SPEAKER_00 (37:48):
In this reality, it didn't happen.
Um, and then the last one, thebeer shortage riot of 1637.
Colonists nearly um mutiniedbecause the uh ship rate ran out
of beer.
SPEAKER_06 (38:04):
Yes.
SPEAKER_00 (38:05):
Yes, that is real.
SPEAKER_06 (38:06):
It had to do with alcohol, so absolutely it was
real.
SPEAKER_00 (38:09):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (38:10):
And people acting completely irrational over
alcohol.
Million percent real.
SPEAKER_00 (38:18):
Um, and that's pretty much all I had for this.
SPEAKER_07 (38:21):
You ever been in a food fight?
SPEAKER_00 (38:26):
Not in it.
I've seen one happen around me,but you know, I just got beat
the hell out of there.
SPEAKER_06 (38:32):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (38:33):
Senior year.
It was one of the greatest daysof my life.
SPEAKER_00 (38:41):
I always think a fun a food fight would be fun.
SPEAKER_07 (38:44):
It was like the time of my life.
It's like wedding day, birth ofchildren, food fight.
Like, and that's fucking close,man.
Like, it was close.
It's really funny because ithappened at lunchtime.
It was senior year, and when Itell you, it was like you see in
the fucking, like in like themovies and like shows about like
(39:05):
what a high school, like aschool food fight is where it's
just food fucking flying across.
It's exactly it wasn't like acouple of tables just like
screwing with each other.
It was like a fuck, it was likethe siege of Baston, just like
fucking launching potatoes andshit, like across the fucking
calf.
Doors are barricades and no onecan get in rounds, like couldn't
get broken up, and it's justjust trashed the place.
(39:27):
And Lauren's pissed because thatwas the day she had like she
wasn't at school that day.
She was at she was like uh shehad like a doctor's appointment,
or she just stayed home,whatever the hell it was.
She wasn't a part of it, shecouldn't be a part of it.
But yeah, it was an actual foodfight.
That was pretty damn awesome.
That was fucking sick.
Yeah.
(39:47):
And I'm trying to remember whatsome of the other funny, you
know, that I wouldn't call thesewars, but I don't know.
I I guess me and my brothers, wealways had some type of uh, you
know, kids they do some kind ofshit or whatever.
We always did stuff.
All of us have at least one withfood.
I have like four.
Like so, like I got into um Igot into a spaghetti fight with
uh with my older brother.
SPEAKER_00 (40:09):
Of course she did.
SPEAKER_07 (40:10):
We just had you know, like the leftover
spaghetti from like the nightbefore when we were, I don't
know, but we lads or somethinglike that.
I was like two.
And uh we thought, hey, it'd befunny if we just picked up
handfuls of spaghetti andchucked them at each other, or
something like that one.
SPEAKER_00 (40:23):
I'm sure your mother loved that.
SPEAKER_07 (40:25):
Oh yeah.
I don't know which one she lovedmore.
Either the spaghetti fight thatme and my older brother had or
the jello fight that me and myyounger brother had.
unknown (40:32):
Oh man.
SPEAKER_00 (40:33):
How do you fight with jello?
Doesn't it just kind of likedisintegrate in your hand?
SPEAKER_07 (40:38):
Well, you know, we were kids in creative, so we
pretty much were taking handfulsof jello and just like yucking
it at each other.
SPEAKER_00 (40:44):
Oh shit.
SPEAKER_07 (40:45):
Oh yeah, it was green and red too on our like
eggshell painted walls.
SPEAKER_00 (40:49):
Oh.
SPEAKER_07 (40:50):
Just yeah, red and green jello.
Fucking yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (40:55):
Yeah, not good.
SPEAKER_07 (40:57):
Nah, not even a little bit.
I can I can kind of if I closemy eyes and I try to think hard
enough, I feel like I can rem- Iremember that day.
Like I can see bits of that day.
SPEAKER_06 (41:10):
That's funny, man.
SPEAKER_07 (41:11):
I because same thing, I was like, because if it
was my younger brother, I wasprobably like three, maybe four.
SPEAKER_04 (41:20):
Cause he's two years behind me, so yeah, probably I
was probably about three or fouryears old when that one
happened.
SPEAKER_00 (41:28):
I don't think my brother and I have gotten food
fucking.
It's I'm trying to remember.
I don't think we ever did.
SPEAKER_07 (41:34):
Be a lot cooler if you did.
SPEAKER_00 (41:36):
Yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (41:37):
Oh, whipping marshmallows at each other.
That was funny.
That was funny.
We're like fucking teenagerswhen we were doing that one, but
like we like this it was likeCall of Duty.
I feel like my younger brotheractually like dolphin dove like
over the couch and like flippedlike a table over or something
as like cover and was just likewhipping them.
That's funny as hell.
SPEAKER_00 (41:57):
I I take that back now that I I'm so my grandpa, he
had like the lot of land andstuff, and he had these little
apple trees, and they grew likethese just tiny green apples.
They were tiny tiny.
I no, they weren't, because youcould eat them.
SPEAKER_05 (42:15):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (42:16):
They were tiny, just tiny little green apples.
I don't know, maybe perhaps Idon't know.
But anyway, we would um breaksticks and then shove an apple
on the edge of it and wing it ateach other.
SPEAKER_05 (42:28):
Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (42:30):
Yeah.
And then we made and then wemade potato cannons.
SPEAKER_07 (42:36):
Oh yeah.
You and your fucking potatoes,you are a hobbit.
SPEAKER_00 (42:41):
Maybe.
SPEAKER_04 (42:43):
Guys, you are a fucking hobbit.
Potatoes!
SPEAKER_00 (42:46):
I'll never forget my cousin.
He was so you had to like cleanout the pipe, you know, that
like just do like a false thennothing in there, and then let
the, you know, blow some umaquanet hairspray down in there
and just let it he like singedhis.
(43:08):
He just I don't know why he helooked down in the barrel and
his face was engulfed, like itsinged like his eyebrows and
everything.
SPEAKER_07 (43:19):
Like old TV shows or whatever.
He picks it up, hey goes, youthink it's like this?
Like old Looney Tune.
He's licks he just picks hishead up, his face is all black,
his hair is like all blowingback, and just blink blink.
SPEAKER_00 (43:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (43:30):
And just fades to black, opens the next scene.
That's funny.
Oh, that is funny as hell.
SPEAKER_00 (43:37):
Yeah.
Oh god, they were sodestructive.
Well, yeah.
What do you expect?
I mean they have nothing else todo out in the country.
SPEAKER_07 (43:49):
I grew up in the suburbs.
We didn't have much shit to dothere either, so don't feel bad.
SPEAKER_00 (43:55):
So if you if you were to go to war over any food,
what would it be?
SPEAKER_03 (44:02):
Fucking gravy.
SPEAKER_00 (44:07):
Brown gravy.
SPEAKER_07 (44:09):
Yes, it is uh we have declared war.
I'm telling you, it it I guessit I guess it kind of depends on
I guess it kind of depends onthe situation.
Because you know, it's not likeoh, the people are just like,
you know, a lot of the ones youtalked about that were actual
wars, it was due to a taxationover something like that one.
(44:29):
So it's like it's not so muchthe people like, oh my god, we
fucking love potatoes so muchbecause you know, we should we
love sugar so much, oh my god.
It was like, no, it's becausethey were getting taxed like per
fucking granule.
Whatever.
So like they weren't it, itwasn't it wasn't the object, it
was the principle.
Principle of what the fuck washappening.
(44:50):
Um so I guess it really kind ofdepends on, but if they were if
I was just like stand my groundand like I will fucking ride or
die for this food.
SPEAKER_06 (45:07):
Probably donuts are buffalo chicken.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (45:15):
Like if like if like one day you turn on the TV,
Buffalo Chicken, you can't haveit anymore.
It's offensive, we're gettingrid of it.
I'm I'm starting the revolutionimmediately to that second.
That fucking second.
SPEAKER_00 (45:32):
Well, let me ask you this about buffalo chicken.
Do you is it do you like thelike the bone in or like the
boneless?
SPEAKER_07 (45:39):
Um I'm a slut for buffalo chicken, just like
Tolkien.
So, not saying that Tolkien wasa slut for buffalo chicken, I'm
a slut for Tolkien.
So even if it's bad, it's good.
So I so anything buffalochicken, it could be it could be
wings, it can be like wraps, itcan be mac and cheese, any form
of buffalo chicken, I'm afucking slut for it.
(46:00):
Now there are ones that arebetter than others, don't get me
wrong.
Um it kind of depends on uh theday in my we okay, maybe that's
what we'll do.
Another thing on like the foodepisode.
I have very weird food OCDs,like I'm very particular about
certain things with certain ofmy foods or whatever.
SPEAKER_00 (46:18):
Yeah, I am so.
SPEAKER_07 (46:18):
So if we're going out to get wings, like if we're
getting wing stop or where thefuck ever, if the place has
boneless wings, like I'm gettingboneless because it's just like
I'm stabbing it, it's chickennuggy, I don't care, talk shit,
I don't give a fuck.
But like if I'm watching thegame, like if I'm going
specific, hey, let's go towherever the hell to watch the
game and whatever the thought, Ineed bone in.
(46:39):
I need wings.
Wings.
If I'm if I'm there if it'sthere just to eat, I'm gonna get
boneless.
But if there's a purpose, likewe're gonna be watching
something or to be doingsomething else, or there's other
type of an engagement.
I want bone-in wings.
I don't know why.
SPEAKER_00 (46:54):
I'll tell you where where I'm picky with the bone in
is I do not like them breaded.
SPEAKER_07 (47:01):
Oh yeah, no, no, no, for sure.
If it's a bone-in wing, don'tyou dare put that shit in a
breading.
SPEAKER_00 (47:07):
No.
No.
I need crispy skin.
Sometimes I'll have them likedouble double fry it.
SPEAKER_07 (47:14):
Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (47:15):
Yeah, I need the crispy, I need the crispy skin
with the buffalo.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (47:20):
Yeah.
You know, you know w what Imiss?
Because I I'm pretty sure thecompany's gone or out.
I know they closed a bunch ofthem or whatever, but now all
seriousness, besides the obviousreasons, I fucking miss Hooters,
man.
Hooters.
SPEAKER_00 (47:37):
They had good wings.
They had really good wings.
Good wings.
SPEAKER_07 (47:41):
Like really good.
The sauce was, listen, all loveand respect to Hooters.
Like I said, your wings werefantastic.
Your sauces were kind of weaksauce, no pun intended, so and
so forth.
Like, I remembered like, okay,yeah, we got like a medium or
mild, something like that.
I was like, hey, we asked forsauce, and she was like, Yeah,
there is sauce.
I'm like, the fuck there is,lady.
And then, like, you know, theyhad the little bottles of hot
sauce.
I would still like fuck it up.
(48:01):
Like, me and my buddies,whenever we would go, we would
go through an entire bottle ofthe hot sauce that's on the
table.
And it was still like just kindof like normal.
So the sauce wasn't like that.
There was no heat to it.
It tastes good, it had decentflavor, all sorts kind of fun,
but there was like no heat.
And I don't want like my face tomelt off.
I don't want to look like thefucking Nazis at the end of
Raiders of the Lost Art.
I don't want to look like thatguy with the weird ass duck
(48:23):
face.
You know who I'm talking about?
SPEAKER_00 (48:24):
Right, right, right.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (48:26):
But like, I want a little bit of kick to them, but
man, I but dude, their wings,they were so crispy.
And they were whole wings.
SPEAKER_01 (48:43):
We gotta wait.
SPEAKER_00 (48:44):
Whenever I hear it, I wait.
She did it again.
SPEAKER_07 (48:49):
Oh no, she down did it.
Oh, Lando again.
Anywho, it was whole wings thatyou had to break apart yourself.
You had the drum and the flat.
Best of both worlds.
Breast of both worlds, one wouldsay.
SPEAKER_00 (48:59):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_06 (49:00):
I love Readersman.
Good shit.
SPEAKER_00 (49:03):
Yeah.
You know who has good who hasdecent wings, and uh it always
surprises me.
SPEAKER_07 (49:12):
Whom?
SPEAKER_00 (49:13):
Pizza Hut.
SPEAKER_07 (49:15):
Really?
SPEAKER_00 (49:16):
Yeah.
They have a they have a thingnow where it's like um you can
get like 20 mini wing miniwings, and they're all drummies.
They're like teeny tiny littledrummies.
You can get 20 of them for like10 bucks.
SPEAKER_03 (49:29):
Okay.
SPEAKER_00 (49:30):
Um, they're really good.
SPEAKER_07 (49:32):
That's what's up.
That's I always love, you know,like the little surprise things.
And like, you know, all respectand also that kind of fun shit.
But like when a chain placesurprises you with having like
act like legitimately decentfood, like you're like, wait a
minute, this is like actuallygood.
Not just like chain good.
Like chain good is like, for themost part, you know, that bad.
(49:53):
You know what I mean?
Like, uh home everyone knowsthat like home cooked is better,
but like, you know, something ifa chain has decent food, like
well, you know.
SPEAKER_00 (50:00):
Yeah, either way.
SPEAKER_07 (50:01):
Um, that's always good.
I I won't, yeah.
I it's gonna be a very long timebefore I have Pizza Hut again,
if ever.
Not a not not a Pizza Hutperson.
SPEAKER_02 (50:12):
Hmm.
SPEAKER_07 (50:12):
Fan of the Hut.
Um, but I mean, I do I I I'lltry the wings.
I will try the wings, that's fordamn sure.
Yeah, 10 bucks for batchbachelor party trip.
Way back when, many moon ago.
SPEAKER_06 (50:28):
Right?
We went to um Dewey Beach inDelaware.
And at the end of the street,you know, it was about a house,
you know, we got like Airbnb,like off like the main drag
there.
And uh, if you walked right tothe corner, there's this little
mom and pop food joint.
SPEAKER_07 (50:48):
I call it a food joint because it like I said,
this is like a like a summertourist town.
Like, think of like a summertourist like beach town kind of
thing, right?
Like that's what it is.
It's like every other store iseither an ice cream shop, some
form of booze, bar, or whateverthe hell entertainment, and then
like the knick-knack paddywaxshop, where it's just like the
name on like every fuckinghoodie and shot glass you've
(51:09):
ever seen.
SPEAKER_02 (51:10):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_07 (51:11):
Well, this particular mom and pop slop
shop, I'm telling you, it's thisgiant fucking sign, and it said
donuts, wings.
That's it.
It was a white sign and big redletters, and not donuts and
donuts wasn't a fun name, itjust said donuts wings, and I'm
(51:35):
like, let's go get breakfastfrom there, because they cut
donuts.
So it's not it's like me, mybrothers and my buddy Mike, we
go walking in there, and it islike it's about as big as your
average like living room.
There's no like tables, it'sjust like chairs.
Oh my god.
(51:55):
Just kind of sit there, and thenit's like the then it's just
like the counter.
Right above the counter is themenu, and there's this one dude
who definitely looks like justhim being in the building alone,
looks like they would fail theirhealth violations something.
He just looked like he would owna greasy spoon.
And then you look at the menu,and guess what they sold there?
SPEAKER_00 (52:20):
Hot dogs and onion rings.
SPEAKER_07 (52:23):
So close.
I'm telling you, they had twothings and two things only on
that menu.
I shit you not.
Now they had donuts, now theyhad donuts, and there was like a
whole bunch of different donuts,and they had wings at whole, but
when I tell you the only twothings they sold at this place
was donuts and wings.
There was no fucking oh, we wewe specialize in donuts and
(52:44):
wings, but you know, oh, we alsogot a grill, so you can get like
a breakfast sandwich, or you canget a hot donut.
It's like, no, you want donutsor wings, you're in the right
fucking place.
You want anything else?
Fuck off.
I'm telling you.
And you can order anywhere fromone to ten thousand chicken
wings.
Oh, geez.
Because I guess in this areathey have like a chicken wing
(53:06):
competition, whatever thefucking they're like the main
sponsor, whatever the hell ofit, so on and so forth.
So they have like the chickenwing plug, or they are the
chicken wing plug.
Um, you can order anywhere fromwhat, and I think once you get
over a thousand, you have tolike order, you know, like like
what is it?
Like Sam's Club and Costco.
If you're gonna put like a bigorder with them, it's gotta be
like a day in advance so theycan kind of do it in the gord
(53:26):
and prep it on.
Yeah, it was just okay.
Anything over a thousand.
I can get a thousand wings justat the ready.
I can walk in and order athousand wings.
SPEAKER_00 (53:33):
Good lord.
SPEAKER_07 (53:34):
And they were just like, Bet, got you, give me like
30 minutes, and like that's allthey fucking sold there was
donuts and wings.
SPEAKER_00 (53:41):
Wow.
SPEAKER_07 (53:42):
Oh man.
And when I tell you that theyused the same fryers for all of
them, I was gonna say they foundtheir niche.
SPEAKER_00 (53:48):
They it was like we're really good at two things.
SPEAKER_07 (53:53):
No, they're good at one thing, they just do it
twice.
And I said, We're good at onething and one thing only fucking
frying shit.
We're gonna either gonna frydonut, we're gonna fry donuts
until I want a chicken wing, andthen I'm gonna start cooking
chicken wings.
And those wings were fuckingdelicious.
They were they were so good.
SPEAKER_00 (54:10):
I bet.
SPEAKER_04 (54:11):
Oh man, it was so fucking funny.
SPEAKER_07 (54:14):
I love when a place gets a little shit like that.
But yeah.
Oh yeah, Buffalo Chicken Man,wings.
SPEAKER_06 (54:21):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:22):
Fuck, I want wings now.
Well, you're welcome.
SPEAKER_02 (54:26):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:26):
You're welcome for that.
SPEAKER_02 (54:29):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (54:31):
All right, my silly dear geese out there in the
audience.
SPEAKER_07 (54:36):
Wow, that was a fucking stretch.
SPEAKER_00 (54:42):
This has been your crash course in all the ways
humanity has chosen violenceover food.
Molasses tsunamis, eggnogbattles, potato thievery,
exploding cheese.
Basically, this has taught usthat we are not okay as a
society, as a as a species, andwe never have been.
So thank you for hanging outwith us today.
(55:04):
We will be back next week withmore chaos, questionable facts,
who knows what we're gonna do.
So until then, stay silly, staycurious.
And if you ever see atwenty-five-foot wave of
molasses coming towards you,pal, do you want to say goodbye?
(55:30):
Oh God.
I wish you could see I was mybody was at full tension.
This is gonna be loud.
(55:51):
Only for a little honk.
SPEAKER_07 (55:54):
That's what she said.
SPEAKER_00 (55:58):
Goodbye.
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