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November 22, 2022 16 mins

The other day, as I was sweeping off my front porch, Old Man Tom came by and asked me something that caught me slightly off guard. He started simply enough by saying, “Good morning, Charles.” 

 But it is what he said next that caught me off-guard. He said, “Did you know the earth is 70% water?”

“Had no idea.”

“It is. And as importantly, all that is uncarbonated.”

I stared at him for a moment. Then hesitantly asked, “And?”

“Well, technically, then, it is flat.”

I had to ask. Sometimes, there is not enough coffee in the whole world.

And I am not sure what he found funnier, his joke or my reaction. Either way, he was laughing so hard that it was a good 20 minutes before he could say anything else.  

Finally, he said, “Ok, I also have a serious question for you. May I?”

“A question, not a joke.”

“Yes.”

“Sure, what is it.”

“Has anyone ever called you perfect?” 

I had to ask.

“Well, I was once called a perfect goofball, does that count?”

He laughed some more, shook his head, and said, “No. No, it doesn’t.”

Now, if you haven’t met Old Tom just yet, for all his dad jokes, he is a man with uncommon clarity of thought. You might say he is a man blessed with more common sense than a drug store has pills. Also, as he is usually a man of few words, I have found that it is usually well worth the listen when he does have something to say. 

Knowing this, I said, “Tom, this is going to take at least a full pot of coffee to talk about, isn’t it?”

He smiled big and said, “Oh yeah, at least one.”

I said, “All right, come on in, Tom, and I’ll put the coffee on.”

You can view the full transcript of this episode on its homepage on my website:
https://www.simplenotshallow.com/the-sns-podcast/106

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