Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to
another episode of the sit down
talk podcast.
My name is Kier and I'm Noemi.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
And we welcome you.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Clap it up for you
for being up in this joint.
Speaker 2 (00:08):
I always hit the
microphone.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Backhand today.
Good claps, if this is yourfirst time here, welcome.
Make sure you go back and bingeall of our episodes just so you
can catch up, understand ourphilosophies, understand how we
come about the things that wecome about, and all that and
whatnot.
But if you are a group ofpeople that I refer to as repeat
offenders, man, shout out toy'all.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Uh-oh, a moment, a
little moment.
All right, come on.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
Let's get some
housekeeping done real quick,
okay, okay, so this is the lastepisode before we take a summer
hiatus.
We're not going to be postingany more pods over the summer.
We're taking this time to spendtime with family, the rest and
recalibrate make sure we comethrough with renewed energy.
We care a lot about thisplatform and, uh, one thing we
want to do is make sure that westay refreshed yeah we got to
tap back into each other yeahyou got to unplug and tap in
(00:55):
sometimes and it's hard to comeup.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
not come up, but like
this, this channel, this
platform, this thing that we'vebeen doing for like seven years
now, it's like real in themiddle of our relationship,
going through it kind of process, and you can't really put that
on a schedule, we don't.
If we had to do this everyTuesday for 52 weeks, like we
would run out of things to talkabout.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
It wouldn't work.
We wouldn't have the same.
I don't want to do this everyweek.
Nah, we want to make sure, or?
Speaker 2 (01:23):
like that shoot 15
episodes about feelings.
No, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1 (01:27):
I don't want to do
that either, and that's one
thing that keeps us here is thefact that we love this joint.
Speaker 2 (01:30):
That's what makes it
special.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
We want to make sure
that we keep the love.
It's just like any otherrelationship.
Sometimes you see each other alittle too much.
You need to break.
So and also, this is adifferent episode than most of
the ones that we post this isgoing to be a mailbag episode.
So two things one, we're goingon a break.
(01:52):
What's a mailbag?
You?
You always ask that in thecomments below.
Noemi hasn't heard of the term,but all the podcasts I listen
to, especially sports podcasts,have a mailbag episode, and
that's when you take questionsfrom the audience oh so it's
like I know.
I know what that is.
Speaker 2 (02:02):
I just never heard it
called a mailbag before.
Speaker 1 (02:06):
Yeah, mailbag episode
.
Speaker 2 (02:07):
And all podcasts I
listen to, actually do that too.
I didn't know there was a wordfor that.
Speaker 1 (02:10):
That's kind of cool.
Okay, so this is a mailbagepisode.
So this is a mailbag episodeand a few weeks ago I asked my
followers on Instagram ask meand knowing me a question.
Anything you want could beabout anything.
We'll answer the ones.
We'll answer a couple of themlive on air.
Speaker 2 (02:26):
We're not live it's
late, y'all as you can see, I
have not seen these questionsand I think here is gonna answer
them randomly yeah, we flyingthere blind.
You want me to just read someof them just also like pre-read
it first, because remember howwe used to do this on the lives
man.
I end up reading the question.
Speaker 1 (02:42):
Halfway through it I
realized this is something I
don't.
I shouldn't be talking about,right?
Right all right, so a couplequestions is off the top.
I think I got about 100responses in 24 hours, so thank
y'all for that.
You see all these yeah, they'regone.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
All his stomach's
just going bloop, bloop all
right.
Speaker 1 (02:57):
So someone asked are
you happy question mark.
Someone else asked what's thebiggest lesson your marriage has
taught you in Noemi.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
No, I mean just pick
one and let's just.
Whatever one you want to do,let's just go for it or do you?
Want to read out all thequestions.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
I just want to read
out a few of them so we can get
our idea of the tone.
Someone said ever thought ofopening your marriage.
See, that's why I should haveread that ahead of time.
Speaker 2 (03:18):
I just said to read
them in your head first.
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Opening our marriage
for what?
For business, like a store?
That's a wild question to askand then not address.
Speaker 2 (03:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
But I'm going to
leave that right there.
Speaker 2 (03:34):
Why you already said
it.
Speaker 1 (03:35):
Would you?
Speaker 2 (03:37):
Nah, yeah, me neither
.
I have no interest.
Nah, I mean if that's yourthing.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
go do it, man, be
happy.
It's just not my thing.
I'm an only child.
I don't like this shit.
Nothing.
A lot of baby number threequestions.
Someone asked can you be in amarriage with a narcissist?
What's your goals in the nextcouple of years?
All of that stuff.
Speaker 2 (03:55):
Okay, I like that
question.
Speaker 1 (03:57):
How you want to do
this.
You want to just like let's notrapid fire, but we want to get
through as many of them as wecan.
Speaker 2 (04:07):
Yeah, that's what I'm
saying, cause some of them do
require a little bit more words.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
Some of them are just
comments.
Somebody says I love y'all'sconversation.
It makes me want to be a betterwife and mother.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
That's so funny.
Speaker 1 (04:21):
Thank you.
I won't say your name becauseall of these are anonymous.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Yeah, are you ready
All?
Oh, I love that Thank you.
Speaker 1 (04:24):
I won't say your name
, because all of these are
anonymous.
Yeah, all right, you ready?
Mm-hmm, all right.
So what I'm going to ask isnever mind.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Why would you ask?
Speaker 1 (04:34):
that Exactly.
It's Wild West out here, boy.
As a married couple, whatadvice would you give to a
single woman in her 30s?
As a married couple.
Speaker 2 (04:44):
What advice would you
give to a single woman in her
30s?
I mean, let's go from the mostgeneric and then if we want to
dive deeper, we can dive deeper.
Most generically, I would sayfor life.
I'm assuming you want like lifeadvice, maybe navigating
whether or not you want to be ina relationship, and the only
(05:04):
reason why I say that is becauseyou made a point to say single.
You want to be in arelationship, and the only
reason why I say that is becauseyou made a point to say single.
I would say to do everythingthat you can to get to know
yourself, because I thinksometimes people say make sure
you're happy before you jumpinto a relationship.
Happiness comes and goes and Idon't know if happiness should
be something that you should besearching for, but I think who
you are, what makes you happy,what brings you back to life,
(05:27):
the things that you like to do,hobbies that you might like to
do, people that you might wantto invest in, I think
discovering who you are, whatyou are, how you want to be, is
the most important thing,because then you can identify
what happiness looks like indifferent seasons of your life,
whether you're single, whetheryou enter a relationship,
whether you become a parent,like whatever, that's what I
(05:52):
would say.
Speaker 1 (05:54):
I think you said
happiness isn't your goal.
Speaker 2 (05:58):
I don't think
happiness is the best thing to
strive for at any season of yourlife, because what is happy?
Happy, and how long do peopleactually stay happy?
You know what I mean.
Like not that, like you shouldnot be happy, but I have found
that I I am most at peace, mostsecure, most content when I can
(06:20):
acknowledge happy in the momentand not be completely devastated
if it doesn't last okay, youknow and I feel like me spending
at least one at the time that Imet you.
I'm also putting myself at thetime of when was I happened
happiest before I was in arelationship with you, like what
made me the happiest or morecontent or more more secure,
whatever outside of myrelationship?
(06:41):
And that's when I was gettingto know myself, figuring out the
types of things that I wantedto do, going out by myself, you
know.
I mean like just getting reallycomfortable with me, and that's
what I would tell somebody inthat season.
So I get comfortable with you.
How does that make you feel?
What are your thoughts?
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I think my advice for
a single woman in her 30s is to
take a good look at some ofyour goals and your aspirations,
things that you've been wantingto do for a long period of your
life.
Whether they be social goalsthat you want to hit, whether
they be financial goals, whetherthey want their career,
educational, academic goals,whatever, Take a look at them
(07:19):
and evaluate whether or notthose goals are still in line
with who you are currently.
Sometimes, we set the goal for adream when we're 18, 19, and we
get so caught up in pursuingthe dream and becoming the thing
that we don't realize thatwe're completely different now.
And that thing that ignited usand just had us on this track of
yes, I'm going to go get it,this is the thing I want to be.
(07:40):
We're still chasing it, eventhough that's not really the
fuel that fires us anymore.
Do an audit on your goals.
Do an audit on what you wantand how you want to be.
Do an audit on who you want tosurround yourself with and feel
comfortable in the idea that, nomatter how much momentum you've
gotten over the years of doingand being this thing and
surrounding yourself with thesepeople, you can always pivot and
(08:00):
go in another direction right.
I love that you got the right topivot and go in a direction
that suits the person that youare right now.
Um, so, yeah, man, how manypeople you know been in school?
They in law school, and theywanted to be a lawyer, they
wanted to be a doctor and theywanted to be these things since
they were five and bro, you wantto go paint?
Speaker 2 (08:18):
yeah, go paint go, go
.
Speaker 1 (08:20):
I mean be able to pay
your bills.
Right, be able to pay thembills but give yourself the
opportunity to paint.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
And just because you
can't quit your job to be a
painter doesn't mean you can'tput the time in to to refueling,
refilling yourself, refillingyour cup one thousand percent.
Yeah, one thousand percent allright, we aligned, we aligned,
or whatever equally y'all,equally y'all um oh, this one is
(08:47):
good so this person says, yeah,I'm sure I read the whole thing
this time I'm learning umadvice for people moving in
together and keeping separationand connection okay, can I add a
caveat?
Speaker 1 (08:59):
yeah, I like a.
Speaker 2 (09:01):
Kiera and I are only
children who also very much
enjoy our separate time.
Speaker 1 (09:08):
Seriously independent
Our space our independence.
Speaker 2 (09:12):
It's a priority in
our relationship.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
Mutual exclusivity in
the way that we do life.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
Keep that in mind as
we're stating our answers,
because I acknowledge thatfighting for my independence
might be something that's justin my blood and in my nature,
and it's not always somethingeasy to recognize or to do.
So that's the caveat.
Speaker 1 (09:33):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (09:34):
Because we'd be like
why wouldn't you want to be by
yourself?
Why do you want to be withpeople?
You like people.
If you watch?
Speaker 1 (09:40):
the sit down talk.
You know that's a conversationwe frequently have.
Speaker 2 (09:43):
Yes, I'm always
saying don't talk, you answer
this one first now.
Speaker 1 (09:47):
So I think a good
thing we were kind of forced by
circumstance to live together.
We were having a baby.
We needed to figure out whetheror not this thing was going to
work, and that's one of mymotivations of moving together
is our relationship is at apoint now that's make or break,
and if we can't cohabitate, thisis the point where I want to
know that, yeah, I'd rather havea terrible year living with you
(10:10):
and understand that it's goingto be terrible and make a
decision how we're going to moveforward then move in with you
three years from now and alreadybe emotionally invested, and
we're terrible cohabitants.
Loving somebody and being ableto live with them are two
completely different things andthey don't always have something
to do with each other so, um, Iguess my advice would be um,
(10:33):
really have a conversation aboutthat's the, that's the driver.
Yeah, I gotta fly out at 4 am.
Speaker 2 (10:40):
It's crazy to go to
vegas, and he's been on two
separate trips within the pastfive days.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
I don't want to
deviate too far Okay, all right.
No, no, no, you good, you right.
Let the people know what's upwith me, but yeah, so boom.
One thing you can do is decideon space what's important to you
.
You all need to have a space ofmutuality where your stuff has
place to exist and their stuffhas place to exist.
I think this may have been awoman who asked the question.
(11:08):
So it can't just that spacecan't just be a representation
of you and what you like.
It has to be a representation ofwhat the both of you are like,
and this is going to be yourfirst test of compromise.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
And that's going to
be a hard test.
I'm going to just tell you nownothing about it is attractive.
Speaker 1 (11:25):
It's not supposed to
be easy, sorry, real talk,
that's just honesty, and but inthat space, y'all are granted a
real opportunity to figure outhow you can find common ground
when you may see things twodifferent ways.
Design whatever, this is a testof um of control of both of you.
All need to control your spacearound you and and the things
that want.
This is where the negotiationof love happens like at this
(11:46):
point.
So the advice is to take theseopportunities not just as pain
points for y'all to disagree on,but I think this is a real good
opportunity for you to testyour ability to grow in the same
direction, or y'all ability tohave conversations where you
have a difference of opinion andfind something that that's
harmonious for the relationship.
Speaker 2 (12:04):
Yeah, I love that.
I think the only I mean, it'snot even a thing to add, but
just another thing to thinkabout is, um, one thing that
really worked for us, and Ithink it's twofold.
I think we tried, failed thefirst couple of times, but tried
to make sure that each of ushad our own separate space
(12:24):
within the house we still, itwas hard to do that in the
apartment, but when we moved tothe town home.
Like you had the basement and Ihad the little like dining room
area, like even if it doesn'thave to be a designated space,
like this is an office and thisis a game room.
This is this, but just a spacewhere you can say like I can do
whatever I want here.
I can design it however I want.
(12:44):
You know it's a space just forme, nobody else needs to be
there Like just a private spacewithin the house number one or
within the living area.
And then number two is toallocate time consistently where
you're free to do your ownthing.
I think sometimes, when youguys live with each other, you
get into the habit of doingeverything together all the time
(13:05):
.
But if you know, like you know,if you play tennis or you play
some type of sport or you dosome type of activity, you know
every week or every couple ofdays or whatever, that's your
time, that you can do somethingby yourself or you can choose to
do nothing, but you know thatthat time is factored in.
Yeah, it's yours.
Speaker 1 (13:22):
And same thing for
your partner.
Speaker 2 (13:24):
You know, I think
once you have kids it's a little
bit harder to do that.
And I know you were saying youwere a single woman.
I don't know if you havechildren, but with the things
that you acquire, with therelationship oh no, this wasn't
the single one.
Speaker 1 (13:34):
Yeah, that was the
other person.
Speaker 2 (13:36):
This person is in a
relationship, right.
But yeah, I don't know if youhave kids.
But just understand that asyour life gets, as you move on
life and you pick up things havechildren, jobs, whatever you
still have to make sure thatyou're making that time
consistently for yourself,because if you don't, you're
going to wake up three months,three years later and you're
going to realize that you didnot have that time.
Speaker 1 (13:58):
That's good, you know
.
Just one thing to add to thatbefore we move to the next
question.
This is a she raises a goodpoint and, to prepare for that,
a good conversation that y'allshould have is what's your
expectation of spending timetogether?
Oh, that's a great question,because we used to get in there
all the time.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
And we had different
definitions.
She said babe, I miss you.
Speaker 1 (14:18):
How you miss me.
We in the bed together everynight.
Speaker 2 (14:21):
Well, we don't talk.
Speaker 1 (14:22):
Exactly.
Proximity to her is not timespent.
Proximity to me is time spent.
Time spent with her isattention, intentional time
that's set aside for deliberateinteraction yep ah, how do you
know that you walk in thinkingmy idea of this is everybody's
idea of this, and that bias isgoing to cook you when you
cohabitate?
(14:42):
So that's a part of thatprocess is just making sure
y'all on the same pageexpectations of time spent
together, expectation of havinga different group of friends
because we got caught up in thattrap understanding who this
person's friends are,understanding how this person
likes to spend their time.
Some people like to clean up allday in the house.
Some people want to chill.
And if you're the chill person,you want to piss off the person
(15:04):
who needs to clean all the time.
And if the person that needs toclean all the time, you're
going to feel like a super ballof anxiety to the person that
needs to chill, and neither oneof y'all are wrong you just go
about something in two differentways so something to think
about.
Speaker 2 (15:19):
Yeah, and it took us
years to figure it out.
So it's trial.
Speaker 1 (15:22):
It's trial and error,
guys I'm gonna be smoking
people on couples counseling allthe time I can imagine oh, this
is a good one so it sayssociety normalizes attraction
towards others outside marriage,often thoughts explain the
question to me a little bit, soI think what they're trying to
say is society has normalizedbeing attractive to someone
other than you, being attractedto someone other than your
(15:43):
significant other, and they wantour thoughts I.
Speaker 2 (15:45):
I guess the part that
I'm I'm getting hung up on is
society normalizes it.
Speaker 1 (15:49):
Like I don't get it
because you know how I am break
it down for me, because I'm nottrying to say that we are now
okay as a society, with peoplebeing attracted to people
outside of their marriage buthaven't people always been?
That's.
That's the part that you'retrying to make sense of that's
just this person's philosophy,okay the thing is, it's not
society normalizes it.
(16:09):
People are attracted to peopleoutside of their marriage.
When you become married, aswitch doesn't turn off when
your eyes just don't become lessattractive, like I'm not
laughing at you, because it's aquestion you really have, but
people seem to think that, likebro, I'm married, not blind.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Yeah, and also,
attraction doesn't necessarily
mean I'm going to step out oflike.
When you say attraction, whatdo you mean?
Like somebody handsome,somebody good looking?
Are you willing to like endyour marriage for this Like?
I just feel like there's a hugejump between attraction to it
being a threat to yourrelationship.
Speaker 1 (16:46):
And that's why the
whole talk about relationships
and dating is so un-nuanced,because some things fall under
umbrellas that don't belong tothem.
Being attracted to someone isone thing that is a human
impulse but acting on thatattraction is another thing.
Acting on that attractiondeliberately and consistently is
(17:06):
another thing.
Those are different things.
The way I equate it is.
It's levels to it.
I got a video of this on IG, Ithink, where the way I try to
explain it to couples is likefinding somebody attractive is
like somebody knocking on yourdoor.
It's immediate.
You can look up.
You can't help but to noticethat the cashier is pretty.
You can't help but to noticethat the young man that passed
(17:29):
by is very handsome.
You can't help.
That's an automatic thing yourbrain does.
There's somebody knocking onyour door.
Now you can't control whoknocks on your door, but you can
control what happens next.
You can open the door and peekout.
You can just look at your phoneand look at the video
monitoring system and nevertouch the door.
You can open the door, start aconversation and sound like man
what you want, or you can openthe door and let them in.
(17:51):
So it's not that we're gettinghung up on the door being
knocked on.
Oh, that's so good.
We don't.
We never move past the piecewhere the door gets knocked on.
That's not.
That's not the thing.
That's ridiculous to think.
That's a ridiculous expectationfor me to have.
(18:11):
I don't mind.
But it also comes into questionwhere your sense of respect,
but where your?
Sense of practicality inrelationships is and where your
sense of security is, sometimesBecause it can be a thing around
being insecure.
Speaker 2 (18:25):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (18:26):
But yeah man.
Speaker 2 (18:27):
Yeah, I have nothing
to add.
Speaker 1 (18:30):
I have nothing to add
, have nothing to add, no notes
relationships are a strangespace man we abandon
conventional wisdom when itcomes to love we get a little
delulu, that's it so thequestion is how to support a
good man who is struggling tocope with the weight of his
duties.
So I feel like this needs a bitof conversation before we jump
into it.
Speaker 2 (18:49):
Yeah, I agree,
sometimes hold on, let me take a
sit, go ahead nah, nah, do yourthing, take your 70.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
So with men, I think
that there is a overwhelming
social expectation for us tohandle certain duties like and
of course the same thing happenswith women, of course, but with
women, a stereo dude.
Stereotypical duties usuallyfall along the lines of
child-rearing, organization andremembering all the things, the
(19:15):
connectivity pieces of arelationship.
And with men, the stereotypicalduties usually come with being
a supportive spouse and thefinancial part.
The financial part Sometimes,when men are struggling with
those duties because thosecharacteristics are associated
so closely to manhood andmasculinity.
It creates doubt in a man's mindon whether or not he's really a
(19:38):
man when he can't handle thosethings, and also it creates
doubt in his partner's mindsometimes whether or not he's
really a man.
That's just the cognitivescaffolding of how we now view
masculinity.
It is what it is.
So how do you help a man who'sstruggling to cope with his
duties?
First off, I don't know manymen who aren't struggling to
cope with their duties,especially husband fathers.
(20:00):
And if you're a husband fatherlike sole income provider, it's,
it's quadruple it, whether ornot you feel proud to carry that
badge or not those two thingscan live in the same place at
the same time yeah, absolutely,absolutely.
Um, you know I have a hard timeanswering this question because
I don't know, as a partner, whatyou can do if that person
(20:23):
themselves doesn't see thatthey're being consumed by the
duties.
Men have this propensity tojust kind of like internalize
our feelings, swallow them andsay I'm doing OK, and not really
trust the people around you tohelp you in the process of
feeling better or not reallywanting to share your burden of
being sad or feeling heavy withother people.
(20:44):
If that man within himselfcan't find a place where he's
hurting and is in need of somehelp or in need of some support,
there's nothing you can do tohelp him.
I think that if he is someonewho needs a little something, I
think one of the most generaltouches you can do is just tell
him that you see what he's goingthrough.
(21:05):
Don't assume that he knows justbecause you love him, that you
see it Like babe, you'recarrying a lot, you're paying
the bills, you're doing this,you're doing this, you're doing
this.
Then validate that feeling thatlooks like a lot.
Then share with him that youcan't relate to that feeling I
have no idea what that's like.
I can't imagine what that'slike for you and then offer some
support.
(21:25):
You know I love you, you know Iappreciate you and you know I'm
here if you ever want to justrap about it.
And you gave him, even thoughhe may not take it, don't take
that as your failure.
You gave him the space and theopportunity to say the thing.
That's a word thatcharacterizes the heaviness, and
there's so many men that don'tget that or don't get that
(21:46):
enough.
So just one of the best thingsNoemi does is just she put her,
I got my hand on her hand soshe's smiling, but she hold my
hand.
Sometimes she's like babe, Ijust let you know.
I see it looks like you've beenstruggling a little bit and I'm
so thankful for that, because Ican't feel it.
I don't have no quit in me, I'ma dog when it come to work.
I'm going to work.
I'm going to work I'm going toprovide for my family.
(22:13):
We always going to be good.
I will work myself to death andnever see it.
Speaker 2 (22:15):
And she tells me hey,
baby, I ain't seen you smile or
laugh in a minute, baby.
Speaker 1 (22:17):
I ain't seen you take
no time off, baby.
I didn't see you.
She's my eyes outside my eyes.
That is what you do, becausebeing a protector provider, no
matter how benevolent wecharacterize in our society shit
we we characterize in oursociety, shit is hard, man, and
it's a lot and it takessomething out of you that you
can't always get back.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
It's a lot in the, in
the actual question.
You guys can't see it.
Are we gonna put him up?
I don't think so.
Yeah, I don't think we need to.
But she emphasized good man andI think the reason why I can
relate to this so much isbecause it's relatable to you
and how you kind of struggledwith a lot of things that have
been happening within thebusiness and how fast the
(22:58):
transition and the trajectoryhas been and granted.
this is going off of assumptionsand I'm trying to use context
clues within the questionscontext clues within the
questions.
Um, if you're saying that youhave a good man, which you
probably have recognized thesethings y'all have probably had
conversations about this and Ifeel like you're probably asking
(23:19):
these questions because maybeyou've tried some of the things
that we've suggested and ithasn't been hitting.
And if that is the case, I feellike I can relate, because kira
has been in that situation.
When you say we're like you, Ican.
I can tell that things areheavy and I try to be there for
you, but it doesn't necessarilyhelp.
And I'm assuming that this,this person is asking this
(23:42):
question because they've triedsomething and it's not helping.
So, right, exactly, and that'sthat's exactly where I'm going.
The next step is sometimespeople just have to feel their
feelings and sometimes peoplejust have to.
It's so hard to see the personthat you love and you care about
.
You know, the person that youwant to see happy, not be happy,
(24:03):
but that, going back to what Isaid about happiness being so
fleeting, that's a humanexperience.
A lot of the level ups that wedo are in response to us
overcoming a not so pleasant,not so happy time.
So, in addition to everythingthat I'm saying, that Kira was
saying to do.
I think another thing is justto hold space for that person
(24:25):
being in a transitional area intheir life.
You know, I think that beingsomebody to walk through the
issues with versus being theperson to solve the issues for
that person, holds weight, ifnot more weight, because you're
allowing the person to havetheir experience, you're
allowing the person to sit intheir feelings, you're allowing
(24:45):
the person to be vulnerable,without it requiring anything
more than them existing for you.
Speaker 1 (24:51):
You know, what I mean
absolutely, and even hearing
you say that one thing, I thinkshe just illustrated what you do
.
I think that is what you do.
What you don't do is you don'tinternalize your inability to be
helpful to them in that momentas an indictment on the strength
of your relationship or theindictment on your ability as a
partner.
One of the worst things that Isee happen all the time is when
(25:14):
partner one is sad.
Partner two wants to pitch into make them feel better.
Partner one doesn't feel betterfrom partner two's attempts.
Partner two doesn't get thevalidation.
And now partner two is upsetand resentful.
How dare you make me feel likea bad partner because you don't
need any help?
Well, maybe you're too far gone.
(25:36):
And then, you know, begins topathologize the partner, a whole
bunch of stuff, and then itbecomes more about partner two's
feelings than partner one's.
Issue happens all the time.
So just something to us, yeah,yeah for sure it's something to
be mindful of, because it's easyto take you not taking my
advice or you not accepting myhelp personally.
Yeah, it's easy to take you nottaking my advice or you not
accepting my help personally.
Speaker 2 (25:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (25:52):
It's easy to take it
that way, and what that does is
de-center the original person.
Now their issues aren't eventhe center of the conversation,
but they were the bailiwick ofthis whole thing.
That's exactly why we're hereis because of this person's
emotional I don't want to sayturbulence, but emotional stress
.
Speaker 2 (26:08):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:09):
That make sense?
Speaker 2 (26:10):
No, it does it
actually not to deviate too much
, but it reminds me of aquestion that somebody asked me.
Yeah, somebody asked if we canwrite a video on what it looks
like to meet our partner'sconcerns with curiosity as
opposed to defensiveness and Ithought, when we come back,
that's yeah, yeah, we can do awhole episode on that, we could
(26:31):
do a whole season.
Speaker 1 (26:32):
Yeah, maybe that
could be your next uh uh course
we'll see we'll see we'll see,but being able to slow down and
be curious has been so helpfulto our relationship because,
curiosity slows down assumptions.
Speaker 2 (26:45):
It slows down blaming
it slows down accusations, it
just slows it down, it gives youa moment to think and be
reflective and be introspectiveand see not just how you feel
about the situation, but whereyou fall in the situation.
Speaker 1 (26:58):
You know.
I feel like that's reallyhelpful it's an emotional reset.
Speaker 2 (27:02):
It is an emotional
reset of sorts I agree, I agree.
Speaker 1 (27:07):
Um, okay, I love that
.
Uh, oh, this is good.
Somebody said what is oneparenting thing you each is
super good at and super bad at?
Speaker 2 (27:15):
let's answer it for
each other oh my gosh all right
now make it fun.
Nah, let's do that.
That's a good idea.
So one thing you're super goodat is um not, you might disagree
hold on before we answer onething that we're super good at
and one thing that there's roomfor improvement on okay, hr, but
also, like I don't want to hearthat I'm bad at, like, no tone
(27:38):
matters, I'm with you, you suckat this.
Speaker 1 (27:41):
I was taking it that
way anyway, I just thought it
was like a phrasing thing, butwe can.
We can phrase it like that.
So one thing you're super goodat is not allowing like you
don't.
When the kids piss you off, youstill react like in a way
that's playful a little bit.
Yeah, I don't think they everthink they make you as angry as
they do no and it's amazing howyou do that.
(28:02):
You find a way to say why areyou stepping on my foot?
And the baby done stepped onyour foot like five times.
Speaker 2 (28:09):
You told her not to
and you make it like a playful
situation because they're sosensitive to tone and I know
like I'm short and I get annoyedvery easily and I would hate
for them to like I also get overthings easily so I would hate
for them to like really be upsetabout something that's not that
deep.
So I try to match my myannoyance with what I think they
(28:34):
can handle without being tooupset you are masterful at that.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Um and one area of
improvement for you?
I don't know you might notagree, but getting the kids to
do what you want them to dowithout bribing them yeah, it
just don't be working for me.
Speaker 2 (28:54):
It kind of leads into
what I think you're good at.
I think that the kids genuinelyenjoy doing things that you
enjoy.
So really like you like justbeing outside yeah, you know
what?
I mean, like I'm not going tothe bouncy house because I got a
silk press, I'm not goingoutside because I have a silk
press.
I'm not running outside becauseI have a silk press.
Like I am like that girly girlthat I don't like to get dirty,
(29:18):
I don't like to sweat.
My ideal situation with mygirls is to lay out on the beach
all day, every day.
Like I don't like labor, Idon't like to do anything.
You know, I like to sit andread books and be by myself.
(29:38):
Why can't they sit and readbooks next to me and be, and
then be by myself?
I'm also a mother thatbreastfed them for two years
each.
Like I walk into a room andnobody else exists, they want to
crawl back into my uterus likeit's just.
It is wild.
It does not matter.
They could be, they could bewith you for a week straight and
be like mommy.
I don't love you.
The minute I'm sitting down inmy bed and they walk into a room
where they're going straight tome in my bosom.
Speaker 1 (29:59):
It's a full time job
keeping them out of her butt
crack.
Speaker 2 (30:02):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (30:03):
It's a full time gig.
Speaker 2 (30:05):
So no, I agree with
you.
I think I think the answer tothe room for improvement things.
I agree with you.
I think I think the answer tothe room for improvement things.
I think I have to do a littlebit of a better job.
Trying to find things that Ienjoy, that they all like.
Trying to find a thing for us,like the thing really be like
getting our nails.
It always costs money.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Like I have to find
something free.
Speaker 2 (30:23):
It's never free, Like
every time y'all go out we
spend a thousand dollars smackand it account gets smacked.
It costs $100 an hour to beoutside.
Speaker 1 (30:32):
It does not, it
really doesn't, I promise you.
Speaker 2 (30:36):
But I haven't.
I have no, honestly, like Ijust haven't found things that I
also enjoy.
I don't enjoy any of the thingsthat they want to do.
Speaker 1 (30:44):
What's my area for
improvement?
Speaker 2 (30:46):
Um, your area for
improvement is with parenting,
is like accepting that thisparenting thing is always going
to be a thing.
Speaker 1 (30:58):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (30:58):
You know, because
you'd be like I'm just going to
hang out with them on Saturday,Like why are you still upset?
We went out on Saturday, theyit's an everyday job.
Speaker 1 (31:06):
It's an everyday
thing, it's never enough.
Speaker 2 (31:08):
It's so crazy and you
wake up every morning for the
past eight years like.
I gotta do more.
Speaker 1 (31:13):
Like, yeah, like it's
every day.
What was that movie with DrewBarrymore when every time she
woke up, 50 first dates?
Yeah, that's being a parent.
Speaker 2 (31:21):
You're treating
parenting like a job.
This is your life, this is youreveryday.
Speaker 1 (31:28):
I don't accept that.
Speaker 2 (31:29):
Yeah, I can tell I'm
struggling with that.
Speaker 1 (31:31):
That's where we need
to improve a little bit.
They need so much all the time.
Yeah, and when I got it, that'scool.
Yeah, but when I don't.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Can I add to it
really quick yeah, please Like
them Saturdays that you, ofcourse you're tired Like you
don't do that in a day, you dothat over the course of a week.
Speaker 1 (31:52):
I got to learn to
chill man.
Speaker 2 (31:54):
You get energy and
you be like I'm going to go for
like a 15-mile run.
It's like no, just go for oneand chill.
Speaker 1 (32:02):
It's like when you
ain't got money, you spend it
like you're never going to haveit again when I got energy.
I'm like oh, I'm up today, I'mgonna do it all, let's go.
Speaker 2 (32:09):
Let's go for three
hikes I hate everybody and then
go to the pool and then getpizza, and then get ice cream
and then stay up till 2am, butthem days be so lit.
Yeah, they be lit until youwait, it's like.
It's like going too hard in thebar or at the club.
Speaker 1 (32:28):
Now I'm going to
learn to dial it back.
I'm not but I'm going to try.
I won't, but I'm going to tryto try, though Maybe it works
like that because you yeahthat's okay, I think trying to
try works.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
But I think it works
because we're so opposite and I
feel like I don't know that it'salways going to be this way,
like I'm definitely when you outwith them all day, what am I
doing?
I'm home and I'm ready to.
Speaker 1 (32:50):
I got the energy to
do all the things Like, maybe
I'm just not that parent.
It works for us man, I feellike it works.
All right, let's do some rapidfire because I want to get
through more of these.
These are deep.
I wasn't expecting them to bedeep.
They always get deep on us, man.
Speaker 2 (33:03):
We just had a fun
episode, so I'm I didn't expect
to like think this muchanswering these questions.
Speaker 1 (33:09):
Ooh, what's the best
thing about child marriage?
Speaker 2 (33:13):
Ooh, can I answer
this one first?
Oh, it's going to sound socheesy, but hear me out.
You.
Speaker 1 (33:18):
Something cheesy with
love, come on.
Speaker 2 (33:21):
Why you got to be all
of that.
Never heard of such a thing.
Like you, don't have to be thatextreme.
That's what you need to improveon your sarcasm.
Speaker 1 (33:29):
that's dead, it's
never gonna happen.
Speaker 2 (33:31):
That's who I am.
No, um, what was the question?
My favorite thing?
yeah, favorite thing about ourmarriage, my favorite thing
about our marriage.
Yes, it's cheesy, but like he'sreally my best friend, like we
are, we are like homies in thebest.
We are homies in the best way.
Like you know how.
Like if you're a womanlistening to this and you got
(33:52):
girlfriends, but you know likeyou got that one girlfriend that
you can just kiki with and it'slike every time you with them,
you think you're going to comehome at one time and you come
home like the next morning.
Like you, just you can talk tothem all day.
You run into so many differenttangents.
You have the inside jokes.
They understand you.
They finish your sentences Likeit's no pressure and always a
good time.
(34:12):
That's how it is with me andhim without the kids.
Like that 's, that's just howit'd be so much fun.
And I think sometimes I'msurprised that it's still like
that after 11 years two kids oh,and two kids and a business
like we.
We literally work together everyday and like there are
definitely couples that worktogether.
Speaker 1 (34:32):
Y'all understand what
we talk about that business.
So that's the third child oh mygosh.
Speaker 2 (34:36):
But like when we do
finally have time to ourselves
and like it doesn't happen often, but when it does it's always
such a good time.
Like I can't believe, like Istill like you.
I never like nobody this longand I don't be like you.
I said he don't like people.
Like I like to talk to newpeople, I like meeting new
(34:57):
people, but I want to be bymyself.
Why are you talking to me?
Why are you looking at me?
Why are you asking me forsomething?
Speaker 1 (35:02):
why are you over
there looking at me?
Speaker 2 (35:06):
but I and I hate
being around people that suck
too much of my energy out and um, I really love like.
You're just a homie for realmine is along the same lines.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
Um, I still look
forward to having fun with her.
I still look forward to fun.
We got some vacations coming upthis summer, man.
They give me something to lookforward to.
I'm so wait, do the people notsay lit anymore.
I heard it wasn't a thing babe,I ain't been in style so long.
I don't even pay attention tomy this summer is about to be
popping.
Speaker 2 (35:33):
I mean that's worse.
Popping is worse.
Speaker 1 (35:35):
Listen, we old, we
old damn it yeah whatever we say
old people, stuff I'm going tojust put this one out there.
No, I got to.
Speaker 2 (35:43):
No, what baby.
Speaker 1 (35:45):
Okay, it says I've
the summer of last year, I
didn't even see that.
She's seven months pregnant.
Do I confess?
Speaker 2 (35:54):
Say it again.
I'm sorry, I interrupted you.
Speaker 1 (35:55):
No, it just says I've
had a crush on my manager since
the summer of last year.
She is seven months pregnant,do I confess?
I'm not going to answer yes orno, I'm just going to say this
what do you want out of thatsituation?
What do you genuinely want tohappen?
And then, what do you expect tohappen?
And then my final question youmay need to gather some other
(36:16):
like brains for this, just toget different opinions, but
what's what's practical in thatsituation?
Is this for her or is it foryou?
What, what, what you want, man?
This person's about to have ababy that I don't think is yours
, if you confess that is it.
Are you trying to embark on arelationship with them or are
you just trying to get somethingoff?
Speaker 2 (36:37):
That's a really good
distinction to make.
Speaker 1 (36:39):
Yeah, I don't know
what motivates your desire to
tell them this, whether you'relooking for a relationship or
whether this is just somethingburning on the back of your mind
.
But when people have a lot ofstuff going on, sometimes it's
not helpful to add another thing.
Or you're talking about this asyour manager.
That adds a dynamic where thatcould be quite inappropriate in
the workplace and you don'treally know whether or not we
(37:00):
come across thinking this likehey, I really like you, but then
it's, it could become an issueof.
That doesn't come across theway you think it does and it
comes across as more, I don'twant to say creepy, but
undesirable or maybe forceful orinappropriate.
It's just I don't.
I just don't see the nutritionalvalue in that confession.
(37:22):
But you know the situationbetter than I do.
I just had to address that incase you were watching.
This is a two-part question.
It's really good.
The first part asks me how do Iavoid being a therapist to my
wife?
And then it asks Noemi, how doyou avoid being a lawyer to Kier
and collecting evidence indefense?
That's a great set of questionsright there, a lawyer to him.
Speaker 2 (37:51):
But I definitely
think that we take the skills
that we've learned from thoseprofessions and find ways to add
value to our relationship usingthat.
I think that usually when I'mhaving some type of an emotional
issue, I always go to him for,like you know how you get a
second opinion for, like amedical issue, I go to him to
get a second opinion like am Itripping, am I not?
(38:14):
And not to validate what I'mfeeling, but to really use his
expertise to say, like you knowwhat maybe the issue that you
think is might be somethingdeeper, it might be something
unrelated to this person, thisthing, this problem.
And I trust him and I use him,you know, I use his skillset to
help me, you know, figure thosethings out.
(38:34):
And I feel like my brain isvery analytical and I always
rush to pros and cons and youknow I ask a ton of questions to
get clarity and I feel likethat helps a lot, either with
the business or with logistics,with the kids.
You know, like even with thewhole saying that you spend the
whole day on Saturdays and youtake them to 15 different things
.
I'll clear my schedule for theevening because I know the
(38:56):
minute that kira comes home andputs his head on the table, I
mean puts his head on the couch,no matter what he says he's
about to do.
That night nothing is going toget done.
But me having that foresightand the analytics, you know the
information I can figure outwhat we're doing that night, I
can clear the next day so thathe doesn't have to wake up with
the girls Like I have theforesight to look into things
(39:17):
that way.
Speaker 1 (39:18):
That harmony helps so
much with us Because we had to
practice that it's prettyseamless.
It wasn't always like that atall.
It took a lot of toughconversations and getting it
wrong in order for us to getthat harmony right, and one of
my motivations is the fact thatI don't want to always be at
work.
Speaker 2 (39:36):
A therapist is what I
do.
Speaker 1 (39:37):
It's not who I am.
I'm not just a dude that has aspecific skill in a specific
area, just a boy just a boy,just a boy, just a boy.
Listen, there's a whole thingon twitter about how that phrase
don't hit the same.
Yes, it does.
Thank you, I appreciate yousometimes I have to remind
myself that too just a boy man,I'm trying to figure it out,
like everybody else a lot easierto acknowledge as a mom.
Speaker 2 (39:59):
I will say once I
became a mother I saw it so
different.
I love you differently nowbecause I imagine the way that
you were loved.
I imagined, you know, if I lookat you like, you're just a boy
who grew up like, how would Ilove that boy if they were
behaving like this, if they werefeeling like this, if they were
going through something likethis.
That's why you, the GOAT man,you make it easy to love,
(40:23):
because you give me grace andyou give me space and you don't
fault me for being a littlebehind and figuring stuff out
emotionally.
Speaker 1 (40:31):
You just let me do my
process and I appreciate that
you give me enough for me togive you enough for you to give
me enough.
It's like it's a symbioticrelationship why'd you choose me
?
Speaker 2 (40:41):
I saw that one.
Why'd you choose each other?
Speaker 1 (40:44):
uh, let's end on that
.
Why did you choose each other?
Speaker 2 (40:46):
I don't.
Yeah, let's end on that.
Speaker 1 (40:48):
I don't have a
profound answers for why we, for
why I chose you.
I'll tell you what.
So if you've been here for awhile, you know that me and
Noemi have different lovephilosophies.
Hers I'll let her describe hersbut, mine is based on
practicality.
It's not about anythingwhimsical or sexy when it comes
to love.
It's not about romance.
It's about what makes sense.
(41:09):
It's not about feelingbutterflies or being swept off
of the feet.
Speaker 2 (41:14):
Don't ask him.
If I give you butterflies, he'slike what are butterflies?
Speaker 1 (41:17):
none of that is
important to me.
What's important to me iswhether you and I have the
material to maintain asuccessful partnership over a
long period of time, and forthat, for me, it takes somebody
who's self aware.
Like you had.
A lot of dudes say man, I wanta friendly and submissive wife.
I was never I mean friendly tome, sure, but I was never big on
(41:38):
the whole submissive wife thing.
I was.
I.
I needed some.
I needed a partner who was moreso.
I needed intelligent, I neededintellectual, which is different
, completely different thing.
I.
I needed someone who was brave,I needed someone who was
(41:58):
confident and I needed someonewho had great emotional
regulation skills.
That was important to me.
And you have to be able to holda great conversation and I have
to be physically attracted toyou.
That's a lot of things.
Yeah, it is a lot of thingsyeah, it is.
Speaker 2 (42:14):
You feel that way
about me.
What, all of those things, what, for real?
What?
Speaker 1 (42:19):
you, I married you.
I don't you talk this, thisbecause you only know this
version of me.
Yeah, how many of my fratbrothers, my friends, any homies
, I have forever walked up andlike kira really got married.
That's crazy.
How often do you hear?
Speaker 2 (42:33):
that All the time,
nobody ever thought that.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
I never thought that.
Speaker 2 (42:36):
To this day.
To this day.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
I still I'm not, and
we can talk about this later.
I'm not the biggest advocatefor marriage.
I'm not.
I'm not a huge advocate formarriage, and we can break that
down later on down the road.
Speaker 2 (42:51):
And we can break that
down later on down the road.
Speaker 1 (42:52):
Next season We'll
touch into all of that I'm an
advocate for this marriagebecause it makes sense and it's
healthy and it's fruitful and itmoves forward and it's
considerate and it'scompassionate and there's so
much love and understandingthere and it's something to
learn.
It's something to learn all thetime and the space.
Just it feels good to be in, itfeels good to contribute to, it
(43:16):
feels good to be in, it feelsgood to contribute to, it feels
good to grow, it feels good togrow within.
It just feels good and I couldhave been.
I could have been an idiot whenit was that time to decide
whether or not this is what youwant to do or not, you could
have I almost was, I almost was,you know I kind of of was.
Speaker 2 (43:31):
Anyway, you know we
made it through.
Speaker 1 (43:33):
But I knew that if
somehow I didn't make a
conscious decision to be withyou, that I'd be comparing every
woman I ever met to you forever.
Speaker 2 (43:42):
And that's such a
horrible feeling.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (43:45):
And then the person
you do choose has to live in the
shadow of this woman they'venever met.
And you'll never admit it andit'll just take space in your
relationship.
So I met and you'll never admitit and it'll just take space in
your relationship.
So I ain't want that.
And you had all those qualitiesand I never met anybody who I
could talk on the phone likethat for hours with.
I mean for hours and not getbored with the conversation, and
it feels stimulating and itfeels gratifying.
(44:07):
So, yeah, all of that was reallyimportant to me.
Um, I started us off saying itwasn't that deep and it ended up
being very deep, so that's howI knew you was the one for me.
Speaker 2 (44:17):
What made me choose
you was it was a couple of
things.
It was more about a feelingthan it was about like specific
things.
It was no, it was specificthings and those things just
meant so much to me.
One of the biggest things wasyou know, karen, I started off
in this situation ship and wewould get into little arguments
(44:41):
and silent treatment and I'm nottalking to you no more, because
we weren't official.
So it was like something didn'thappen.
Something happened that wedidn't like and I think the
first thing in our minds waslike F it, I'm not in a
relationship, I don't got todeal with this.
I got options.
I got options, I ain't got toworry about all that.
And of course, those situationshappen.
(45:01):
Those little spats happened,but you always were willing to
apologize and get it back, likein the beginning of our
relationship.
I never did that.
I was like he ain't going tocall me, I'm not going to call
him, but he always ended upcalling a couple of days and you
were always like let's talkabout it.
I've never been in arelationship with somebody where
(45:23):
that happened ever.
Speaker 1 (45:25):
I know you was just
protesting Like.
This is ridiculous.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
Let's just talk about
it, and I think for me, the
reason why it was so importantis because I've I've I don't
want to say always, but Ihaven't dealt with somebody that
was like that.
That was like you know what.
I don't think that thisargument is that big of a deal.
Let's talk about it.
It doesn't matter how big orsmall it was, it was just.
It was protest met with protest.
(45:49):
There was no meeting in themiddle, and you kind of taught
me how to handle that in a moremature way and it just made me
feel safe about going throughlife situations like you didn't
act like a child, I know, justjust for lack of time and
wanting to explain it, but Ifelt like you acted like a grown
(46:11):
person and human being.
I'm a grown man, big grown man.
That was one of the reasons whyI chose you, and I think
another thing was just the wayyou love me, like you love me,
so he's always loved me so loud.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
That's such a
lovey-dovey answer.
Speaker 2 (46:27):
I'm so lovey-dovey,
but like my mom always said, you
know, make sure you're with aman who loves you more than you
love him.
And it sounds it's deeper thanjust the words.
Speaker 1 (46:37):
But it sounds crazy.
Speaker 2 (46:38):
Yeah, but I think
people will understand what I
mean when I explain it.
It's like you love you.
You're not.
Your love isn't conditional.
The way that you show loveisn't conditional on how you
feel.
You could be upset with me, butstill show me you love me, you
can you.
You love me by giving me grace.
You love me by letting me makemistakes and not holding it
(47:02):
against me.
You know what I mean.
You love me by understandingthat I'm human and I'm not
perfect.
You acknowledge the ways that Itry and fail and you highlight
the fact that I tried, not thefact that I failed, and then you
celebrate my wins when I get itright.
You know what mean.
Like all of those things reallymatter.
All of those things reallybuild a level of trust that,
like I've just never had withanybody and this was before we
(47:23):
were official.
So I'm just like the qualitiesthat I have in you and the
qualities that we need to workon in order for this
relationship to be long lasting,and looking at the two, like
going with you, I felt likethere was more of a probability
that will make it work and thethings that I didn't like didn't
feel like deal breakers to melike, I guess for me it made
(47:44):
sense too.
You know what I mean, I guess.
I guess we're saying the samething.
I just have a reallylovey-dovey, razzle-dazzle way
of saying it, but essentiallyit's the same yeah it made sense
, it, it.
It didn't make sense to go withanybody else.
It didn't make sense to end therelationship like for real.
For real, were there momentswhere I wanted to?
Speaker 1 (48:03):
yeah, but it didn't
make sense to yeah, that's the
practicality piece for me likehow much sense does this make at
the end, when it all falls down?
How much sense does this makefor the long run?
Now, if you're watching thisepisode and you're trying to
think about how much sense itmade, or you're trying to think
about the questions and compareit to your own perspective of us
, probably somewhere along theway you realize that we didn't
(48:26):
give you a hug at the beginningof the episode oh, shoot, it's
all good damn my bad.
Spring that in, because we'reabout to disappear for the
summer.
Speaker 2 (48:34):
Damn.
Why does it sound so morbid?
Speaker 1 (48:36):
It's not morbid.
We disappear for the summer.
We'll be back, we're notdisappearing.
Speaker 2 (48:40):
We're taking a break.
We're going to see you aftervacation.
Speaker 1 (48:43):
So I want y'all to
take this time Definitely lean
in the family, lean in the selfLean, lean in the self identity,
lean in the self-respect umlean into the things that feel
good, get a hobby get a hobby,walk outside, decenter things
that do not make sense in yourlife and that do not positively
(49:06):
move you forward.
Don't ignore your feelings, youknow.
Don't just push past your pain.
Pain is a signal telling youhey, you need to pay attention
to me right here and take careof yourself, because when we
come back at the end of thesummer we want to see y'all
happy and whole.
Speaker 2 (49:20):
And we're going to
put that ass to work.
Speaker 1 (49:23):
Put it to work, boy.
Speaker 2 (49:25):
Emotional gymnastics.
This is your time to takeeverything that we're giving you
.
Speaker 1 (49:30):
Look at us
challenging the audience.
Speaker 2 (49:31):
I'm giving you summer
homework.
You got a summer project tocomplete.
Kira's not giving you homework.
I am.
Can I speak?
Speaker 1 (49:41):
Go ahead, reclaim
your time.
Go ahead your homework.
Speaker 2 (49:44):
Whether you've been
watching us for seven years,
watching us for seven months, orthis is your first episode that
you're seeing, go back, Takeeverything that you've learned
from us, all the things that arein your emotional toolkit Apply
it.
Apply it little by little.
Just watch a video.
We have a lot of videos for youto catch up on.
Speaker 1 (50:03):
And the way that we
create these videos.
Speaker 2 (50:05):
You can absolutely
watch them more than one time.
I would say take those littlethings, take those little
nuggets, apply them over thecourse of the summer.
And let's debrief when we comeback.
Speaker 1 (50:15):
See what they do for
you.
Yeah, see what they do for you.
I got to catch a flight.
I got to be out of here at like5 am.
Yeah, it's already like 10something, I think, I don't know
.
That's not the right time.
Speaker 2 (50:25):
Oh, not yet.
Okay, it's not that bad.
Immersed, hey, we are reallyexcited to see y'all at the end
of the summer.
Take care of yourself, takecare of the spaces around you,
(50:53):
and we all let y'all down.
Wait, oh my god.
Bye, guys.
We'll see y'all later.
Okay, okay, okay, bye.
Thank you you.