The SJ Childs Show
What if your life experiences could transform the lives of those you love most? Join us as Philip Blackett shares his compelling journey of personal growth and autism advocacy. Approaching his 40s, Philip reflects on how his grandmother's unwavering love shaped his understanding of autism and how his twin daughters' diagnoses became a turning point. Through heartfelt storytelling, Philip offers valuable insights into the importance of empathy, understanding, and shared experiences in supporting individuals on the autism spectrum.
Ever thought about bringing the tranquility of a spa into your own home? Discover how you can create a sanctuary of relaxation without breaking the bank. We explore the art of crafting a home spa experience that nurtures both your body and mind. From daily rituals that strengthen relationships to embracing activities that rejuvenate your spirit, learn how personal routines can enrich your life and well-being. Philip's expertise guides us through these transformative practices, offering a compelling case for investing in self-care.
Our conversation takes a motivating turn as we discuss the power of mindset and the commitment required for fitness success. It's not about quick fixes but rather the dedication to becoming the best version of yourself through consistent effort. Philip highlights the ripple effect of healthy lifestyle choices, inspiring those around you to aim higher. For those eager to dive deeper into the world of home relaxation, Philip invites listeners to visit his website and explore his book "Relax, Recover, Rejuvenate: How to Create Your Ultimate Home Spa," offering a wealth of knowledge and resources to enhance your journey to wellness.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Hi and thanks for joining the SG Child Show today.
I'm really excited to have thisconversation with Phillip.
Is it blackened, did I?
Is that just?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yep, you got it right .
Just black it.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
It's so nice to meet you.
Before we get started with ourconversation, tell us a little
bit about yourself and theintroduction and what brought
you here today.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Well, it's always interesting, sj.
First of all, I appreciatebeing on the show.
That question now, as I'vegotten older, with the gray
hairs to show it, it's alwaysinteresting.
It's like, okay, as I'mapproaching 40, literally next
Thursday, on Thanksgiving, I'mliterally asking myself how do
you encapsulate who you are at40 years of age in like a short
(00:53):
one to two minute answer to yourquestion, right?
But I think the big this thingfor me is that, you know, some
people say you know, I'm anauthor, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm
a husband, I'm a father, I'mjust somebody that's really just
trying to make the most out ofthe talents and gifts I've been
blessed with.
Um, just really make the secondhalf of my life, um, just as
(01:14):
exciting and as fruitful andproductive and as enjoyable, um,
if not more so, uh, than thefirst half of my life.
I would say.
And the first half was good,then I, I would say, and the
first half was good, then Iwould say so, but I always would
love to see if the second halfis actually better.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I love that I'm on the same page there.
I'm always hoping everythingshould be better.
It should just always begrowing and getting better.
I hope so.
Yeah, so it's been going.
Oh, it's so nice to meet youand you know, I um, we, I think
we met on pod match, which isfantastic.
(01:51):
I love that place.
Had a lot of great interviews,and I think one thing that stood
out for me on your profile wasautism, and I, uh, here at the
SJ jail show, talk a lot aboutautism and education, and so
tell me how that fits into yourlife and let's, if you don't
mind, talking about that.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
No, not at all.
It's a part of me.
Why would I not feelcomfortable talking about it?
You know, I think that when Iwas growing up like 1990s or so,
you know, autism wasn't seen inthe same light as it is today.
You know, autism, spectrum,asperger's, you know, whatever
(02:31):
the case may be for thatparticular person and oftentimes
back then got grouped up and hejust doesn't get it as well as
the rest of the kids or he's notas quick with it, um, maybe he
needs special education.
You know, like back then that'skind of where things were
(02:51):
grouped up for me growing up.
Um, I think things took adifferent turn with, you know,
my grandmother at the time thatsaw something different from
what you know doctors and peopleon the outside saw and she just
put in some good old, tender,loving care, just really just
got to know me better, showedunconditional love, was really
(03:14):
working with me on stuff as likehandwriting tablets when I was
younger or flashcards for mathand that sort of thing.
But really I think, if nothingelse, you know, she really
instilled in me a love forlearning and just being okay
with seeing things differentlythan others, and so I think that
(03:36):
was helpful for me where, whenyou have this love for learning
and wanting to do the best youcan, that played out well for me
academically high school,college and beyond, but I think
even more so now, knowing thatyou know.
You know, though she's no longerwith us there is a legacy
factor that plays a role there,because I have two, you know,
(03:59):
daughters, twin daughters thatwere actually diagnosed with
being on the autism spectrum,and so I think things became
full circle for me whereinitially, the first reaction
was I felt guilty that I gavethis to them genetically and I
felt like that they would likelystruggle with it and I don't
(04:20):
know what their life would belike because of it.
But then, after I got past thatstage, it was more so
understanding that, with my wifeand their mother, who's very
caring, very understanding, verymuch like my grandmother, but
from Puerto Rico in this case Ifelt like that my kids would be
(04:41):
in a good place.
But then I think the fullcircle moment came.
For me was just like well, whoelse has very much a wealth of
in-house experience of what thiscould be like growing with
autism or being on the spectrumthan their own dad?
Yep, and so I think that thatwas one that once I better
(05:02):
understood that it made a lot ofsense and I think even now it's
just like you know.
Now they're, you know, sevenyears old, about to turn eight,
and it's kind of similar as whenI was growing up, which, like
if you met him for the firsttime, you might not think that
they're on the spectrum.
Now I can see the quirks aboutthem when I'm at home, but I
(05:25):
think that's kind of the thingwhere you know kind of the same
way with me, Like unless I toldyou, I might not come off that
way to you, but that doesn'tmean it's not there, and so I
can at least appreciate that.
And when I come across meetingpeople that are on the spectrum
or have friends and family andloved ones that are on the
(05:46):
spectrum and talk about thatsort of thing, I think that
that's part of the one of themotives for me in the second
half of life of being able to bea resource, to be a helping
hand, to be someone thatunderstands and that can help
people through.
You know what can be achallenge for some people.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Absolutely.
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharingthat.
Because, number one, I thinkthat there's real relativity and
relatability in other people'sstories and experiences and
perspectives and I love that youshared all of those variables
of perspectives as well.
Because, number one, society isso deficit centered.
(06:25):
It's centered around deficits,and how can we look at this bad
and look at this bad and what'sbad about this person and what
can we fix about this?
Instead of strength buildingcentered, which is such a more
successful path to take and sucha better system, especially for
fostering children's, you know,self-confidence and their
(06:47):
understanding about themselvesand their, you know, basking
kind of, as you alluded to,basically, and that some of the
time.
You know, obviously, the lack ofeducation as well out there,
but people don't know.
And the same comes across for meI'm late, diagnosed autistic,
(07:08):
and people don't generally seeme right off the bat or see me
having these big conversationsin the grocery store.
They wouldn't naturally say, oh,that girl's definitely autistic
, but it is the case.
And so, with that, I love thatyou said.
This too gives me theopportunity to look at my
(07:31):
children, who are also autistic,and be able to accommodate them
in ways that I was neveraccommodated and that now I see
that maybe the world isn't quiteup to speed with and we can
help educate and teach and andbe the example of what we need
the world to become forourselves, for our kids, for
(07:55):
their children.
If this genetic follows rightin evolution, then we'll see
that it will continue to growand that will need more supports
and more understanding.
But I think like the media isdoing a better job of showing
more realistic, I guess,experiences because really, when
(08:21):
we come down to it, every humanis having their own human
experience and that's what weall, you know, kind of need to
understand collectively.
Don't you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, of course I think that people's definition
of what normal is is becoming alot more broader, more inclusive
and much more individualized.
I think that you know to yourpoint.
You know as Shay, I think, howthe world around us looks at
something like autism issignificantly different than it
(08:59):
was 20, 30 years ago, and Iwould imagine it would get any
even better or at least moreunderstandable as time
progresses.
Not just because you might comeacross somebody that's autistic,
not just because you may have afamily relative or a child that
is on the autism spectrum, butI think also as people learn
(09:21):
more about it in the media,through research and science and
it, it becomes something that'snot so much just kind of put
off to the dark corner where noone really like touches, as
opposed to more so like nowyou're seeing like in elementary
schools, I know, for example,you know you have learning
specialists that provide studentsupports and that's something
(09:42):
that's like in the school systemand that sort and the people
that have these type ofaccommodations that are provided
for these families, and so nowyou're starting to see it's like
okay, this is not so much aforeign thing, it's like there
is some expectation that there'sa possibility and we have the
right support for this.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, definitely, and we hope that for all families.
And please, if you arelistening and you need resource
or support, reach out to any ofus and we'll be happy to guide
you in the right direction tofind those kinds of resources in
your community.
And it's all about buildingcommunity and bless your
grandma's heart.
(10:22):
Thank heavens for her, forreally just what a wonderful
spirit and I can just tell thatyou really have great love for
her and her time that she spent,you know, believing in you and
I think that it's really, as faras I see in just everyday
experiences with people, thebelief that you give them.
(10:45):
If you do, they will take thatas far as they can be believed
and that's a powerful, powerfultool.
I think that people don'trealize or don't know or take
for granted, I guess maybeespecially parents of maybe
(11:08):
non-verbal children, you know,and that aren't speaking yet,
and it's hard to see the hope orthe you know light at the end
of the tunnel, and it's alwaysnice to have people who have
those struggles or who can guideyou in a direction where you
(11:31):
can find a bit of hope and alight at the end of the tunnel.
Are there resources that youprovide or how do you look for
that in your area?
Florida's pretty good.
It has some good resources.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, I think for me I just kind of look at it as far
as what do the school systemprovides in particular.
I think for me that's reallykind of been it.
So it's like my wife and I asfar as like resources for our
kids and you know, what'sprovided at our kids' school,
you know, is pretty much us here.
Kids' school, you know, ispretty much us here.
(12:07):
We have some extended familyhere, which I think is
definitely helpful too.
But I think it really comesdown to, like, you know, family
and the school for us.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
That's great.
Unfortunately for us, theschool system was not, did not
support us, not, did not supportus.
So, I've not only been a stay athome mom for those purposes,
(12:36):
but homeschool as well, and it'sbeen tricky because now I have
14 and 12 year old and thehigher education is a lot harder
to maintain for yourneurodiverse child.
So it's been tricky.
But you know, like you said,there's just hopefully you are
getting good resources from yourschool and your school
districts and things like that.
But let's not talk about that.
(12:58):
We're not here to talk aboutschool systems, no-transcript.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Sure, where do you want to go?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Well, what is?
What are you currently workingon?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Sure.
So one of the things I'mcurrently working on now is, you
know, I've talked about acouple of times about, you know,
the second half of our lives,right, and I think that you know
a couple of things really kindof keyed in on it.
For me is like one, as Imentioned earlier, you know, I
turned 40 on Thanksgiving thisyear and so oftentimes when you
(13:45):
turn 40, for some people, thatpeople oftentimes signified as
like the midlife point, right,or for some people it was like a
midlife crisis, and, you know,I think it's really a time of
reflection for a lot of peopleas far as like how the first 40,
if you want to call it thatwent as far as the good moments,
(14:05):
the not so good moments, thethings you would love to repeat
again, the times that you wouldwish you could just erase and
expunge off your life altogether, but then also in terms of
thinking about what your secondhalf of your life is like, what
do you want it to be and, inparticular, what are your goals
at that point.
You know, what are you going towork towards in that sense, and
(14:26):
oftentimes, for people that are, you know, spouses and parents,
you know you look at yourfamily inwardly.
And I think for me, like thebig, hairy, audacious goal for
me was the second half of mylife, sj, if I'm being honest
with you is I want my wife and Ito make it a 50 years of being
(14:47):
married.
As far as celebrating our 50thwedding anniversary and I think
you know, oftentimes when peopletalk about goals, oftentimes
they mention it in the sense ofyou know, the goal itself is
significant, but what's evenmore significant is what's the
journey to get to that goal.
You know, who do you have tobecome to make it to that goal
(15:10):
of yours, to achieve it?
Because when I think about,like 50 year wedding anniversary
, which for me year weddinganniversary, that which for me,
that's another 41, 42 years fromnow, so I would be about 81
years old or so right, Iprobably won't be doing podcasts
at that age, but who knows?
But I think what comes off isask myself those questions as
(15:36):
far as what do I have to do togive myself and my wife the best
odds of making it the 50thwedding anniversary?
Because my grandmother, forexample, she didn't make it to
80 years old.
You know, it's like you know,there's a number of family
members that passed away thatdidn't make it to 80 years old
for one reason or another.
So one of the top questionsthat I had to answer was what is
(15:58):
it going to take for me to dothat?
And one of the top answers forme was I need to start investing
in my long-term health andwellness now to figure out what
things I should start lookingmore into and, you know, to
really give myself and my wifethe best chance of making that,
so we can attend, can attend,you know more first days of
(16:20):
school with our kids and laterfather-daughter dances when they
get older.
And you know high schoolgraduations and then college
graduations, and then you know,you know walking my daughters
down the aisle, one day,hopefully when they get married,
like a lot of you know, summervacations, how like you think
about this sort of thing, likelike next 40 years, like 40
years of these type of things 40summers, 40 winters, 40
(16:43):
Christmases, 40 Thanksgivingslike you want to be able to
enjoy all that.
But if you don't have yourhealth to be able to do that,
then it compromises the qualityof what those things are or the
longevity of it.
And so what came off of my mind?
Sj?
All of this to kind of comefull circle, is thinking about,
(17:04):
in a sense, like how do youstart preparing now?
And I came up with this conceptof you know, where do people
likely want to go to relax andrecover from a hard days of work
or just to help themselvesbecome better health-wise, and a
lot of people want to splurgeby going to a spa on a weekend.
(17:26):
Might want to get like a nicemassage, or go into a nice, like
you know, steam room, and thatsort of thing, just like just
that's where you feel most likeah, like serene, and that sort
of thing.
Just like just that's where youfeel most like ah, like serene,
and that sort.
The challenge that comes withthat, though, I realize, is that
you can't necessarily go to aspa every week because, that'd
(17:48):
be really, really expensive.
It would add up.
But then I thought to myselfokay, where is the most
comfortable place?
Bar none more than likely thateveryone would love to be at
more than any other place.
And I think I can answer thatby asking that same question
what is the most comfortablerelaxing place for you
(18:11):
personally, sj.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
My own home.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
And so taking that same answer and so taking that
same answer.
What if we had a concept oftaking certain things that we
like about a spa that you haveto travel to to be able to enjoy
and you may do it once everyblue moon, maybe on a birthday
or that sort of thing but takethe concept of taking those same
(18:36):
sort of things or elements andinclude them in the most
comfortable place for you.
So the whole concept of a homespa to me is a great calling
card that I'm working on now inthe second half of my life,
because the thought is, if youcan have elements of what a spa
(18:57):
is that you would love to haveand enjoy, but you can't do it
every week because it costs alot, but you make the investment
to be able to provide that athome, are you more likely to use
these elements on a weekly, ifnot daily, basis?
Are you able to do it in thecomfort, convenience and privacy
(19:18):
of your own home as well?
And you look at it more sort ofsense that when you think about
goals and what you have to doto reach that goal, you think
about what type of routine, whattype of way to kind of set
yourself up, things you do on adaily, weekly basis.
You know you're making sure youhave the right diet, making
sure you exercise, but what Ioften ask people is along with
(19:41):
diet and exercise, you know youhave plans for those, but what's
your plan for recovery?
Right At a certain point, sj, Ican't keep going to the bar to
recover.
I've long gone the nightlife aswell.
At some point for me, I'm moreat ease wanting to stay at home
(20:05):
with my family.
So the thought is to answeryour question, I'm working on
basically a passion project tohelp people understand the
concept of a home spa andwhether or not that might be a
good fit for them that can helpthem enjoy life more,
particularly the second half oftheir life, enjoy it more and
(20:26):
maybe extended to live as longas they can.
By providing the right elementsto have your own home spa, that
with the right routine foryourself, on a daily, weekly
basis, it helps increase theodds of you making those type of
goals, of making it to your50th wedding anniversary or
making it to see your kids getmarried or making it to see your
(20:48):
grandkids and enjoy life withthem, and so I think that's what
really has been the focus forme, just something I'm really
excited about doing um, justsomething I'm really excited
about doing.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I love that I.
I can really appreciate so muchof that.
I'm 20 years.
Well, 15 years married, beentogether 20 years.
So, congratulations, huge goal.
I will go for 50 years.
I wouldn't want to be withanyone else in the world and my
wonderful husband and you knowkind of a like a different
element of what we like to dotogether is, since the first day
(21:26):
we met was have coffee together.
That's what we've been doingour whole life, every single day
together.
Um, so it's something that wekind of now look back and joke
about, like, oh, what if westopped drinking coffee?
Like what kind of conversationswould we have?
You know we're going to have tofind some tea or something, but
(21:46):
no, it's just like this special, like you said, routine that we
set up.
You know it's almost likemeeting with a friend every
single day.
There's really it's, and itmeeting with a friend every
single day, there's really is,and it makes it start the day
out so great and it's alwaysyeah, it's just always there.
(22:07):
And I love the idea of a homespa too.
I am a former massage therapistNumber one.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I did not know that.
How coincidental, howcoincidental, I did not know
that.
Yeah, definitely howcoincidental, I did not know
that.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah, definitely, come on.
No, just kidding, no, but thereare some wonderful ways.
You know there was this.
I lived in Portland, oregon,for a time in my twenties and
there was, like this women's gymthat I went to and they my
favorite place and my favoritething about this gym is that
they had a sun room, because inOregon it rains a lot and it's a
(22:42):
lot of clouds.
They had this sun room with sunlamps and they had a eucalyptus
steamer and it would just likefill the room with wonderful
steam of eucalyptus and the heaton.
You know the sun lamp andeverything.
You're on Florida, you'reprobably not missing that part,
but it is.
It's so important to find thoseelements that you know make you
(23:05):
happy.
I remember somebody telling meonce, like what gives you chills
?
What's the thing that gives youchills when you think about it?
Like so exciting, sooverwhelming, you just get
chills from it.
Follow that, like, go afterthose things, make those things
more regular than not.
(23:26):
If there's music that you loveto listen to, but you like don't
do it for X, y and Z, like getyourself some headphones and
listen to a more open orsomething like it, really just
indulge.
I think that that helps so muchwith self-care.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Right, I agree.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, I love that.
What kind of actions do youthink?
Like I said, you know saltlamps, heat lamps, those kinds
of things, but what kind ofactions can people put into
place?
Because it's not really aboutit is about the physical
elements of it, but what wereally really have to be aware
(24:09):
of is the mindset.
So how do you help people putthemselves and really like be
accountable for that mindset?
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah, and I think that's part of what, what gets
me really interested about it,sj, because I think about it.
You know, when I used to playbasketball in high school, right
, you know, I went to a highschool that had a gym and had a
weight room and had a track andfield right, you had the tools
to be the best at what youwanted, to be, as far as the
(24:41):
best basketball player possible.
But unless I actually put inthe work and the dedication and
the commitment to do thepractices the lifting of weights
, the running on a consistentbasis and to commit myself to
improving and learning where,how things are going, how my
(25:02):
body's responding and recovering, and getting back at it, I
probably was not going to bethat good of a basketball player
, right?
So I think it's somethingsimilar here, where it's like,
even if I'm having a businessthat sells home spa equipment
whether it's, you know, saunasor massage chairs or steam
showers or cold plunger,whatever the case may be,
(25:22):
whatever the tools are, at theend of the day those are just
tools.
If they're not used in aconsistent way that works for
you and what your goals are in,it's just taking up space at
your home.
You know, it's just like.
You know, when I was growing up, the thing that people often
(25:45):
talked about as far as to getwell and get fit at home was a
treadmill, that big old bulkytreadmill that took up half your
room.
Well, unless you plan on usingit on a regular basis,
preferably every day, at somepoint, it's going to have
another purpose.
It's going to have a purpose ofhanging your clothes to dry.
(26:07):
Exactly so you're going to thinkto yourself that that's a
pretty expensive clothes rack ifthat's the case.
So I think, when you thinkabout mindset, I think that's
very key because I think, inthat sense, the tools itself
(26:27):
make no purpose.
There's no reason to make thatinvestment in yourself unless
you're going to make thatcommitment to yourself that this
is what I'm looking to do andthis is what I need this tool to
do this with, and I'm going tomake the commitment to do that,
to do this with, and I'm goingto make the commitment to do
that where, after I get soexcited and it comes into my
home and I get it all set up andthat sort, is this going to be
(26:47):
something that after that firstweek or two, you're going to
still get yourself up or stillcommit to doing what you need to
do after work and still use iton an ongoing basis so you can
get the type of results you'relooking for to keep yourself up
to the type of goals you'retrying to achieve.
(27:08):
And so I think that mindset ishonestly more important than
anything, especially when youhave a growing generation of
people, generation of peoplethat think that the way to get
fit you either have to take apill or you inject yourself now
(27:29):
like it's just, it's that simple, like all I have to do is push
a button, swallow a pill orinject myself with something,
and that makes it much tougherfor people to compete with when,
as opposed to saying, hey, ifyou really want to work out, you
got to go out to the gym, evenwhen it's not convenient for you
(27:51):
, and lift the weights, you gotto go and walk the miles, you
got to plan your meals, you gotto step in the sauna for 15, 20
minutes a day, of that sort, yougot to step in the sauna for 15
, 20 minutes a day.
That's sort of like you knowthat's what you're competing
with, but ultimately it's thethought of what's right for you.
Ultimately, what are you tryingto achieve?
Because if it's somethingthat's worthwhile to you, you'll
(28:14):
be willing to put in the work.
But you have to have thatcommitment and mindset first off
.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
That is so true.
My husband always tells me goal, timeline, accountability,
that's how you'll get it done.
So no, I don't always followhis good advice there comes the
accountability part that's thetruth, oh my gosh.
(28:40):
And it really comes back tosomething you said, one of the
very first things you said, andthat was becoming a better
version of yourself every singleday, and and I think that's a
beautiful, wonderful goal forpeople to have for themselves,
and the opportunities that cancome from that are outstanding
(29:02):
and you can really make adifference.
And not only will you make adifference for your own life by
choosing those types of makingthose choices, you'll also help
your family.
You'll help those around youfriends, coworkers, your own
parents, you know.
Sometimes they'll see thatyou're doing healthier things
(29:23):
and you can teach them as well.
So always be ready to to sharethe information.
I think that's so importantthat we, that we share.
That's what this is all aboutbeing on the podcast sharing the
information.
Where can people go to learnmore about you, connect with you
(29:43):
or ask any questions that theymight have?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yeah, I think it's a great question.
So I'm on social media.
You can find me, philipBlackett, by looking me up on
whether it's Facebook, instagram, youtube, twitter, linkedin,
that sort of thing.
But in particular, if you'relooking more into what this
whole concept of a home spa isand whether or not that might be
right fit for you, you can headover to my website,
(30:07):
homespabookcom.
What I basically did is I wrotea book called Relax, recover,
rejuvenate how to Create yourUltimate Home Spa, and so what
you can do there is basicallyget my free book that I wrote
and just better understand whata home spa is and then make an
(30:30):
educated decision to say, hey,if it's something that might be
a fit to you, if so, great, Loveto have a conversation with you
.
You can head over to my websitehomespaessentialscom afterwards
to see what we have to offer tobe able to share with you how
you can create your own home spa.
But you got to start on thefirst things first understand
(30:52):
what a home spa is and see ifit's something that makes sense
for you.
So I definitely would say thoseare great ways to connect with
me after this and I look forwardto follow up conversation from
here.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I love that.
Thank you so much, and again,you can reach Philip on his
social medias.
I'll link, of course,everything in the description
below.
It was great having you on andI really look forward to staying
in touch.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Thank you so much.
Likewise, sj, thank you so muchfor having me.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Yeah, thank you.
Hi and thanks for joining the SG Child Show today.
I'm really excited to have thisconversation with Phillip.
Is it blackened, did I?
Is that just?
Speaker 2 (00:18):
Yep, you got it right .
Just black it.
Speaker 1 (00:21):
It's so nice to meet you.
Before we get started with ourconversation, tell us a little
bit about yourself and theintroduction and what brought
you here today.
Speaker 2 (00:30):
Well, it's always interesting, sj.
First of all, I appreciatebeing on the show.
That question now, as I'vegotten older, with the gray
hairs to show it, it's alwaysinteresting.
It's like, okay, as I'mapproaching 40, literally next
Thursday, on Thanksgiving, I'mliterally asking myself how do
you encapsulate who you are at40 years of age in like a short
(00:53):
one to two minute answer to yourquestion, right?
But I think the big this thingfor me is that, you know, some
people say you know, I'm anauthor, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm
a husband, I'm a father, I'mjust somebody that's really just
trying to make the most out ofthe talents and gifts I've been
blessed with.
Um, just really make the secondhalf of my life, um, just as
(01:14):
exciting and as fruitful andproductive and as enjoyable, um,
if not more so, uh, than thefirst half of my life.
I would say.
And the first half was good,then I, I would say, and the
first half was good, then Iwould say so, but I always would
love to see if the second halfis actually better.
Speaker 1 (01:31):
I love that I'm on the same page there.
I'm always hoping everythingshould be better.
It should just always begrowing and getting better.
I hope so.
Yeah, so it's been going.
Oh, it's so nice to meet youand you know, I um, we, I think
we met on pod match, which isfantastic.
(01:51):
I love that place.
Had a lot of great interviews,and I think one thing that stood
out for me on your profile wasautism, and I, uh, here at the
SJ jail show, talk a lot aboutautism and education, and so
tell me how that fits into yourlife and let's, if you don't
mind, talking about that.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
No, not at all.
It's a part of me.
Why would I not feelcomfortable talking about it?
You know, I think that when Iwas growing up like 1990s or so,
you know, autism wasn't seen inthe same light as it is today.
You know, autism, spectrum,asperger's, you know, whatever
(02:31):
the case may be for thatparticular person and oftentimes
back then got grouped up and hejust doesn't get it as well as
the rest of the kids or he's notas quick with it, um, maybe he
needs special education.
You know, like back then that'skind of where things were
(02:51):
grouped up for me growing up.
Um, I think things took adifferent turn with, you know,
my grandmother at the time thatsaw something different from
what you know doctors and peopleon the outside saw and she just
put in some good old, tender,loving care, just really just
got to know me better, showedunconditional love, was really
(03:14):
working with me on stuff as likehandwriting tablets when I was
younger or flashcards for mathand that sort of thing.
But really I think, if nothingelse, you know, she really
instilled in me a love forlearning and just being okay
with seeing things differentlythan others, and so I think that
(03:36):
was helpful for me where, whenyou have this love for learning
and wanting to do the best youcan, that played out well for me
academically high school,college and beyond, but I think
even more so now, knowing thatyou know.
You know, though she's no longerwith us there is a legacy
factor that plays a role there,because I have two, you know,
(03:59):
daughters, twin daughters thatwere actually diagnosed with
being on the autism spectrum,and so I think things became
full circle for me whereinitially, the first reaction
was I felt guilty that I gavethis to them genetically and I
felt like that they would likelystruggle with it and I don't
(04:20):
know what their life would belike because of it.
But then, after I got past thatstage, it was more so
understanding that, with my wifeand their mother, who's very
caring, very understanding, verymuch like my grandmother, but
from Puerto Rico in this case Ifelt like that my kids would be
(04:41):
in a good place.
But then I think the fullcircle moment came.
For me was just like well, whoelse has very much a wealth of
in-house experience of what thiscould be like growing with
autism or being on the spectrumthan their own dad?
Yep, and so I think that thatwas one that once I better
(05:02):
understood that it made a lot ofsense and I think even now it's
just like you know.
Now they're, you know, sevenyears old, about to turn eight,
and it's kind of similar as whenI was growing up, which, like
if you met him for the firsttime, you might not think that
they're on the spectrum.
Now I can see the quirks aboutthem when I'm at home, but I
(05:25):
think that's kind of the thingwhere you know kind of the same
way with me, Like unless I toldyou, I might not come off that
way to you, but that doesn'tmean it's not there, and so I
can at least appreciate that.
And when I come across meetingpeople that are on the spectrum
or have friends and family andloved ones that are on the
(05:46):
spectrum and talk about thatsort of thing, I think that
that's part of the one of themotives for me in the second
half of life of being able to bea resource, to be a helping
hand, to be someone thatunderstands and that can help
people through.
You know what can be achallenge for some people.
Speaker 1 (06:02):
Absolutely.
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharingthat.
Because, number one, I thinkthat there's real relativity and
relatability in other people'sstories and experiences and
perspectives and I love that youshared all of those variables
of perspectives as well.
Because, number one, society isso deficit centered.
(06:25):
It's centered around deficits,and how can we look at this bad
and look at this bad and what'sbad about this person and what
can we fix about this?
Instead of strength buildingcentered, which is such a more
successful path to take and sucha better system, especially for
fostering children's, you know,self-confidence and their
(06:47):
understanding about themselvesand their, you know, basking
kind of, as you alluded to,basically, and that some of the
time.
You know, obviously, the lack ofeducation as well out there,
but people don't know.
And the same comes across for meI'm late, diagnosed autistic,
(07:08):
and people don't generally seeme right off the bat or see me
having these big conversationsin the grocery store.
They wouldn't naturally say, oh,that girl's definitely autistic
, but it is the case.
And so, with that, I love thatyou said.
This too gives me theopportunity to look at my
(07:31):
children, who are also autistic,and be able to accommodate them
in ways that I was neveraccommodated and that now I see
that maybe the world isn't quiteup to speed with and we can
help educate and teach and andbe the example of what we need
the world to become forourselves, for our kids, for
(07:55):
their children.
If this genetic follows rightin evolution, then we'll see
that it will continue to growand that will need more supports
and more understanding.
But I think like the media isdoing a better job of showing
more realistic, I guess,experiences because really, when
(08:21):
we come down to it, every humanis having their own human
experience and that's what weall, you know, kind of need to
understand collectively.
Don't you agree with that?
Speaker 2 (08:34):
Yeah, of course I think that people's definition
of what normal is is becoming alot more broader, more inclusive
and much more individualized.
I think that you know to yourpoint.
You know as Shay, I think, howthe world around us looks at
something like autism issignificantly different than it
(08:59):
was 20, 30 years ago, and Iwould imagine it would get any
even better or at least moreunderstandable as time
progresses.
Not just because you might comeacross somebody that's autistic,
not just because you may have afamily relative or a child that
is on the autism spectrum, butI think also as people learn
(09:21):
more about it in the media,through research and science and
it, it becomes something that'snot so much just kind of put
off to the dark corner where noone really like touches, as
opposed to more so like nowyou're seeing like in elementary
schools, I know, for example,you know you have learning
specialists that provide studentsupports and that's something
(09:42):
that's like in the school systemand that sort and the people
that have these type ofaccommodations that are provided
for these families, and so nowyou're starting to see it's like
okay, this is not so much aforeign thing, it's like there
is some expectation that there'sa possibility and we have the
right support for this.
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Yeah, definitely, and we hope that for all families.
And please, if you arelistening and you need resource
or support, reach out to any ofus and we'll be happy to guide
you in the right direction tofind those kinds of resources in
your community.
And it's all about buildingcommunity and bless your
grandma's heart.
(10:22):
Thank heavens for her, forreally just what a wonderful
spirit and I can just tell thatyou really have great love for
her and her time that she spent,you know, believing in you and
I think that it's really, as faras I see in just everyday
experiences with people, thebelief that you give them.
(10:45):
If you do, they will take thatas far as they can be believed
and that's a powerful, powerfultool.
I think that people don'trealize or don't know or take
for granted, I guess maybeespecially parents of maybe
(11:08):
non-verbal children, you know,and that aren't speaking yet,
and it's hard to see the hope orthe you know light at the end
of the tunnel, and it's alwaysnice to have people who have
those struggles or who can guideyou in a direction where you
(11:31):
can find a bit of hope and alight at the end of the tunnel.
Are there resources that youprovide or how do you look for
that in your area?
Florida's pretty good.
It has some good resources.
Speaker 2 (11:47):
Yeah, I think for me I just kind of look at it as far
as what do the school systemprovides in particular.
I think for me that's reallykind of been it.
So it's like my wife and I asfar as like resources for our
kids and you know, what'sprovided at our kids' school,
you know, is pretty much us here.
Kids' school, you know, ispretty much us here.
(12:07):
We have some extended familyhere, which I think is
definitely helpful too.
But I think it really comesdown to, like, you know, family
and the school for us.
Speaker 1 (12:16):
That's great.
Unfortunately for us, theschool system was not, did not
support us, not, did not supportus.
So, I've not only been a stay athome mom for those purposes,
(12:36):
but homeschool as well, and it'sbeen tricky because now I have
14 and 12 year old and thehigher education is a lot harder
to maintain for yourneurodiverse child.
So it's been tricky.
But you know, like you said,there's just hopefully you are
getting good resources from yourschool and your school
districts and things like that.
But let's not talk about that.
(12:58):
We're not here to talk aboutschool systems, no-transcript.
Speaker 2 (13:13):
Sure, where do you want to go?
Speaker 1 (13:17):
Well, what is?
What are you currently workingon?
Speaker 2 (13:22):
Sure.
So one of the things I'mcurrently working on now is, you
know, I've talked about acouple of times about, you know,
the second half of our lives,right, and I think that you know
a couple of things really kindof keyed in on it.
For me is like one, as Imentioned earlier, you know, I
turned 40 on Thanksgiving thisyear and so oftentimes when you
(13:45):
turn 40, for some people, thatpeople oftentimes signified as
like the midlife point, right,or for some people it was like a
midlife crisis, and, you know,I think it's really a time of
reflection for a lot of peopleas far as like how the first 40,
if you want to call it thatwent as far as the good moments,
(14:05):
the not so good moments, thethings you would love to repeat
again, the times that you wouldwish you could just erase and
expunge off your life altogether, but then also in terms of
thinking about what your secondhalf of your life is like, what
do you want it to be and, inparticular, what are your goals
at that point.
You know, what are you going towork towards in that sense, and
(14:26):
oftentimes, for people that are, you know, spouses and parents,
you know you look at yourfamily inwardly.
And I think for me, like thebig, hairy, audacious goal for
me was the second half of mylife, sj, if I'm being honest
with you is I want my wife and Ito make it a 50 years of being
(14:47):
married.
As far as celebrating our 50thwedding anniversary and I think
you know, oftentimes when peopletalk about goals, oftentimes
they mention it in the sense ofyou know, the goal itself is
significant, but what's evenmore significant is what's the
journey to get to that goal.
You know, who do you have tobecome to make it to that goal
(15:10):
of yours, to achieve it?
Because when I think about,like 50 year wedding anniversary
, which for me year weddinganniversary, that which for me,
that's another 41, 42 years fromnow, so I would be about 81
years old or so right, Iprobably won't be doing podcasts
at that age, but who knows?
But I think what comes off isask myself those questions as
(15:36):
far as what do I have to do togive myself and my wife the best
odds of making it the 50thwedding anniversary?
Because my grandmother, forexample, she didn't make it to
80 years old.
You know, it's like you know,there's a number of family
members that passed away thatdidn't make it to 80 years old
for one reason or another.
So one of the top questionsthat I had to answer was what is
(15:58):
it going to take for me to dothat?
And one of the top answers forme was I need to start investing
in my long-term health andwellness now to figure out what
things I should start lookingmore into and, you know, to
really give myself and my wifethe best chance of making that,
so we can attend, can attend,you know more first days of
(16:20):
school with our kids and laterfather-daughter dances when they
get older.
And you know high schoolgraduations and then college
graduations, and then you know,you know walking my daughters
down the aisle, one day,hopefully when they get married,
like a lot of you know, summervacations, how like you think
about this sort of thing, likelike next 40 years, like 40
years of these type of things 40summers, 40 winters, 40
(16:43):
Christmases, 40 Thanksgivingslike you want to be able to
enjoy all that.
But if you don't have yourhealth to be able to do that,
then it compromises the qualityof what those things are or the
longevity of it.
And so what came off of my mind?
Sj?
All of this to kind of comefull circle, is thinking about,
(17:04):
in a sense, like how do youstart preparing now?
And I came up with this conceptof you know, where do people
likely want to go to relax andrecover from a hard days of work
or just to help themselvesbecome better health-wise, and a
lot of people want to splurgeby going to a spa on a weekend.
(17:26):
Might want to get like a nicemassage, or go into a nice, like
you know, steam room, and thatsort of thing, just like just
that's where you feel most likeah, like serene, and that sort
of thing.
Just like just that's where youfeel most like ah, like serene,
and that sort.
The challenge that comes withthat, though, I realize, is that
you can't necessarily go to aspa every week because, that'd
(17:48):
be really, really expensive.
It would add up.
But then I thought to myselfokay, where is the most
comfortable place?
Bar none more than likely thateveryone would love to be at
more than any other place.
And I think I can answer thatby asking that same question
what is the most comfortablerelaxing place for you
(18:11):
personally, sj.
Speaker 1 (18:12):
My own home.
Speaker 2 (18:14):
And so taking that same answer and so taking that
same answer.
What if we had a concept oftaking certain things that we
like about a spa that you haveto travel to to be able to enjoy
and you may do it once everyblue moon, maybe on a birthday
or that sort of thing but takethe concept of taking those same
(18:36):
sort of things or elements andinclude them in the most
comfortable place for you.
So the whole concept of a homespa to me is a great calling
card that I'm working on now inthe second half of my life,
because the thought is, if youcan have elements of what a spa
(18:57):
is that you would love to haveand enjoy, but you can't do it
every week because it costs alot, but you make the investment
to be able to provide that athome, are you more likely to use
these elements on a weekly, ifnot daily, basis?
Are you able to do it in thecomfort, convenience and privacy
(19:18):
of your own home as well?
And you look at it more sort ofsense that when you think about
goals and what you have to doto reach that goal, you think
about what type of routine, whattype of way to kind of set
yourself up, things you do on adaily, weekly basis.
You know you're making sure youhave the right diet, making
sure you exercise, but what Ioften ask people is along with
(19:41):
diet and exercise, you know youhave plans for those, but what's
your plan for recovery?
Right At a certain point, sj, Ican't keep going to the bar to
recover.
I've long gone the nightlife aswell.
At some point for me, I'm moreat ease wanting to stay at home
(20:05):
with my family.
So the thought is to answeryour question, I'm working on
basically a passion project tohelp people understand the
concept of a home spa andwhether or not that might be a
good fit for them that can helpthem enjoy life more,
particularly the second half oftheir life, enjoy it more and
(20:26):
maybe extended to live as longas they can.
By providing the right elementsto have your own home spa, that
with the right routine foryourself, on a daily, weekly
basis, it helps increase theodds of you making those type of
goals, of making it to your50th wedding anniversary or
making it to see your kids getmarried or making it to see your
(20:48):
grandkids and enjoy life withthem, and so I think that's what
really has been the focus forme, just something I'm really
excited about doing um, justsomething I'm really excited
about doing.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
I love that I.
I can really appreciate so muchof that.
I'm 20 years.
Well, 15 years married, beentogether 20 years.
So, congratulations, huge goal.
I will go for 50 years.
I wouldn't want to be withanyone else in the world and my
wonderful husband and you knowkind of a like a different
element of what we like to dotogether is, since the first day
(21:26):
we met was have coffee together.
That's what we've been doingour whole life, every single day
together.
Um, so it's something that wekind of now look back and joke
about, like, oh, what if westopped drinking coffee?
Like what kind of conversationswould we have?
You know we're going to have tofind some tea or something, but
(21:46):
no, it's just like this special, like you said, routine that we
set up.
You know it's almost likemeeting with a friend every
single day.
There's really it's, and itmeeting with a friend every
single day, there's really is,and it makes it start the day
out so great and it's alwaysyeah, it's just always there.
(22:07):
And I love the idea of a homespa too.
I am a former massage therapistNumber one.
Speaker 2 (22:13):
I did not know that.
How coincidental, howcoincidental, I did not know
that.
Yeah, definitely howcoincidental, I did not know
that.
Speaker 1 (22:20):
Yeah, definitely, come on.
No, just kidding, no, but thereare some wonderful ways.
You know there was this.
I lived in Portland, oregon,for a time in my twenties and
there was, like this women's gymthat I went to and they my
favorite place and my favoritething about this gym is that
they had a sun room, because inOregon it rains a lot and it's a
(22:42):
lot of clouds.
They had this sun room with sunlamps and they had a eucalyptus
steamer and it would just likefill the room with wonderful
steam of eucalyptus and the heaton.
You know the sun lamp andeverything.
You're on Florida, you'reprobably not missing that part,
but it is.
It's so important to find thoseelements that you know make you
(23:05):
happy.
I remember somebody telling meonce, like what gives you chills
?
What's the thing that gives youchills when you think about it?
Like so exciting, sooverwhelming, you just get
chills from it.
Follow that, like, go afterthose things, make those things
more regular than not.
(23:26):
If there's music that you loveto listen to, but you like don't
do it for X, y and Z, like getyourself some headphones and
listen to a more open orsomething like it, really just
indulge.
I think that that helps so muchwith self-care.
Speaker 2 (23:43):
Right, I agree.
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Yeah, I love that.
What kind of actions do youthink?
Like I said, you know saltlamps, heat lamps, those kinds
of things, but what kind ofactions can people put into
place?
Because it's not really aboutit is about the physical
elements of it, but what wereally really have to be aware
(24:09):
of is the mindset.
So how do you help people putthemselves and really like be
accountable for that mindset?
Speaker 2 (24:20):
Yeah, and I think that's part of what, what gets
me really interested about it,sj, because I think about it.
You know, when I used to playbasketball in high school, right
, you know, I went to a highschool that had a gym and had a
weight room and had a track andfield right, you had the tools
to be the best at what youwanted, to be, as far as the
(24:41):
best basketball player possible.
But unless I actually put inthe work and the dedication and
the commitment to do thepractices the lifting of weights
, the running on a consistentbasis and to commit myself to
improving and learning where,how things are going, how my
(25:02):
body's responding and recovering, and getting back at it, I
probably was not going to bethat good of a basketball player
, right?
So I think it's somethingsimilar here, where it's like,
even if I'm having a businessthat sells home spa equipment
whether it's, you know, saunasor massage chairs or steam
showers or cold plunger,whatever the case may be,
(25:22):
whatever the tools are, at theend of the day those are just
tools.
If they're not used in aconsistent way that works for
you and what your goals are in,it's just taking up space at
your home.
You know, it's just like.
You know, when I was growing up, the thing that people often
(25:45):
talked about as far as to getwell and get fit at home was a
treadmill, that big old bulkytreadmill that took up half your
room.
Well, unless you plan on usingit on a regular basis,
preferably every day, at somepoint, it's going to have
another purpose.
It's going to have a purpose ofhanging your clothes to dry.
(26:07):
Exactly so you're going to thinkto yourself that that's a
pretty expensive clothes rack ifthat's the case.
So I think, when you thinkabout mindset, I think that's
very key because I think, inthat sense, the tools itself
(26:27):
make no purpose.
There's no reason to make thatinvestment in yourself unless
you're going to make thatcommitment to yourself that this
is what I'm looking to do andthis is what I need this tool to
do this with, and I'm going tomake the commitment to do that,
to do this with, and I'm goingto make the commitment to do
that where, after I get soexcited and it comes into my
home and I get it all set up andthat sort, is this going to be
(26:47):
something that after that firstweek or two, you're going to
still get yourself up or stillcommit to doing what you need to
do after work and still use iton an ongoing basis so you can
get the type of results you'relooking for to keep yourself up
to the type of goals you'retrying to achieve.
(27:08):
And so I think that mindset ishonestly more important than
anything, especially when youhave a growing generation of
people, generation of peoplethat think that the way to get
fit you either have to take apill or you inject yourself now
(27:29):
like it's just, it's that simple, like all I have to do is push
a button, swallow a pill orinject myself with something,
and that makes it much tougherfor people to compete with when,
as opposed to saying, hey, ifyou really want to work out, you
got to go out to the gym, evenwhen it's not convenient for you
(27:51):
, and lift the weights, you gotto go and walk the miles, you
got to plan your meals, you gotto step in the sauna for 15, 20
minutes a day, of that sort, yougot to step in the sauna for 15
, 20 minutes a day.
That's sort of like you knowthat's what you're competing
with, but ultimately it's thethought of what's right for you.
Ultimately, what are you tryingto achieve?
Because if it's somethingthat's worthwhile to you, you'll
(28:14):
be willing to put in the work.
But you have to have thatcommitment and mindset first off
.
Speaker 1 (28:19):
That is so true.
My husband always tells me goal, timeline, accountability,
that's how you'll get it done.
So no, I don't always followhis good advice there comes the
accountability part that's thetruth, oh my gosh.
(28:40):
And it really comes back tosomething you said, one of the
very first things you said, andthat was becoming a better
version of yourself every singleday, and and I think that's a
beautiful, wonderful goal forpeople to have for themselves,
and the opportunities that cancome from that are outstanding
(29:02):
and you can really make adifference.
And not only will you make adifference for your own life by
choosing those types of makingthose choices, you'll also help
your family.
You'll help those around youfriends, coworkers, your own
parents, you know.
Sometimes they'll see thatyou're doing healthier things
(29:23):
and you can teach them as well.
So always be ready to to sharethe information.
I think that's so importantthat we, that we share.
That's what this is all aboutbeing on the podcast sharing the
information.
Where can people go to learnmore about you, connect with you
(29:43):
or ask any questions that theymight have?
Speaker 2 (29:47):
Yeah, I think it's a great question.
So I'm on social media.
You can find me, philipBlackett, by looking me up on
whether it's Facebook, instagram, youtube, twitter, linkedin,
that sort of thing.
But in particular, if you'relooking more into what this
whole concept of a home spa isand whether or not that might be
right fit for you, you can headover to my website,
(30:07):
homespabookcom.
What I basically did is I wrotea book called Relax, recover,
rejuvenate how to Create yourUltimate Home Spa, and so what
you can do there is basicallyget my free book that I wrote
and just better understand whata home spa is and then make an
(30:30):
educated decision to say, hey,if it's something that might be
a fit to you, if so, great, Loveto have a conversation with you
.
You can head over to my websitehomespaessentialscom afterwards
to see what we have to offer tobe able to share with you how
you can create your own home spa.
But you got to start on thefirst things first understand
(30:52):
what a home spa is and see ifit's something that makes sense
for you.
So I definitely would say thoseare great ways to connect with
me after this and I look forwardto follow up conversation from
here.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
I love that.
Thank you so much, and again,you can reach Philip on his
social medias.
I'll link, of course,everything in the description
below.
It was great having you on andI really look forward to staying
in touch.
Speaker 2 (31:20):
Thank you so much.
Likewise, sj, thank you so muchfor having me.
Speaker 1 (31:23):
Yeah, thank you.
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