What happens when autism representation meets reality? Kaelynn Partlow pulls back the curtain on life before, during, and after Netflix's "Love on the Spectrum" in this candid conversation about authenticity and advocacy in the public eye.
Diagnosed with autism at age 10 after years of medical professionals dismissing her mother's concerns ("In the nineties, girls couldn't catch autism," she jokes), Kaylin's journey from struggling student to lead therapist at Project Hope showcases the power of proper identification and support. Now working with autistic clients while managing her growing social media presence, she navigates the complexities of being both clinician and community member with remarkable insight.
The conversation reveals surprising truths about overnight fame - the eight-hour filming days, the unexpected social media explosion, and the loneliness of an experience "only you have, by yourself." Most poignantly, Kaelynn articulates the challenge of forming genuine connections when followers seek advice rather than friendship: "There's a power imbalance. When we meet up, you will want something from me." This reality led her to write "Life on the Bridge: Linking my World to Yours as an Autistic Therapist," offering practical guidance to the many families who reach out for support.
Between discussions of sensory accommodations (fidget toys, headphones, earplugs) and behind-the-scenes television realities (being excluded from award ceremonies despite the show's success), emerges a portrait of someone determined to create meaningful change through authentic representation. As Kaelynn transitions from direct service to more conceptual advocacy work, her perspective remains invaluable for anyone seeking to understand autism beyond stereotypes and simplifications.
Connect with Kaelynn on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and YouTube to follow her continuing journey advocating for authentic autism representation and understanding.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Hi, thanks for joining the SG Child show today.
I'm really, really excited tobring this guest to you guys I
think that you will also be soexcited and just to learn more
about her and her experiences.
Kaylin, you were on season oneor season two season one of Love
(00:26):
on the Spectrum.
But let's talk to you about waybefore that.
Let's just introduce yourself.
Tell us a little bit aboutyourself and we'll go from there
.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, my name is Kaylin Partlow.
Most people know me from myparticipation in the Netflix
series Love on the Spectrum.
From there, my social mediaplatforms kind of exploded, so I
often get people recognizing mefrom like YouTube or Facebook
or Instagram and maybe theydon't even know that I've been
on the show, which is kind offlattering in its own way, just
because it means that I've got abig reach and I'm impacting a
(01:00):
lot of people.
And it's not necessarilycontingent on the Netflix show,
so that's really exciting andvery meaningful.
In my day to day, I'm a leadtherapist at Project Hope.
I work with autistic clientsand I also manage their social
media, so I'm very busy.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I bet no, that sounds fascinating and it's great that
you can give back to thecommunity and be in the
community as well, and I thinkthat that's one thing I've found
so refreshing.
I mean, I came into thecommunity as a mom and then had
a late diagnosis and felt evenmore about being a part of
something that I found,something I finally belong to
(01:37):
and people I could relate withand have great conversations
with.
So tell us a little bit abouthow that journey began for you
and your diagnosis journey as achild and what that looked like,
or as an adult, whatevertimeframe that was for you.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah, so when I was very young, my mom brought up
concerns about autism to thepediatricians, but I like to
joke that in the nineties girlscouldn't catch autism, I guess I
don't know.
Doctors were just like soconfused on the fact that girls
can also be on the autismspectrum and so, despite her
seeing concerns in earlychildhood, like extreme sensory
aversions and meltdowns, theywouldn't even entertain the idea
(02:14):
of looking into that further.
So it wasn't until I wasfailing the third grade and was
talking about, you know, notwanting to be on the earth
anymore, that anybody was ableto take that seriously, and it
was primarily because ofacademic deficits was the only
time that professionals hadconsidered that.
So, after a bunch of privatepay testing in Orlando, that's
(02:37):
when I got the diagnosis ofautism at the age of 10.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Wow, too late to I'm for you to have gone through
that and I'm so sorry you had togo through those things and
there's there's a pride, there'slike this value to the
knowledge, um, and that's a lotof things.
A lot of parents are afraid ofgetting a diagnosis and what
that looks like.
But let's talk about what itlooks like when you don't have
(03:01):
that and you don't have accessto the support and you don't
have a belief system, if youwill, around you to help really
guide you and empower you forthe skills that you have, you
need to be built on and thechallenges that you need help to
overcome.
That's really great that youknow your mom just fought for
(03:24):
that support.
It sounds like, and sometimesit's great that we have those
people fighting for us in thosecorners.
And then where does that looklike?
The advocacy take a turn foryou and where do you find
yourself fitting into that andyou know big, building your
future on that.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
On what.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
On the advocacy of your own, having your own
diagnosis, like when did youstart your advocacy work?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Um, it was probably around the time that Love on the
Spectrum came out.
I had a Facebook page that I,you know was intentional about
sharing specific informationthat I thought might be helpful
to people, but it really wasn't,you know, influenced at all by
like, my like.
I don't even think I posted aselfie on there for the longest
time, like I didn't necessarilywant my name or my face attached
to it, and I don't really knowthat I had a reason for it.
(04:15):
I just thought that that wasnot necessary, and then, after
the show came out, I kind ofrealized that having a name and
a face definitely adds somethingvaluable to people, you know,
gives them something to connectwith, and so it kind of, just
like I said, it grew from there.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah, how was that for you, that over, you know,
that explosion of social mediaand everything, how was that for
your senses and kind of, howdid that play on you and how did
it affect you in your personallife?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
They told us that that would happen, that our
social medias would kind of takeoff, that people would be
messaging us.
People in the grocery storemight ask to take selfies, but
they really didn't and maybethey didn't know, but they
didn't really explain to whatextent that that might happen.
So I think all of us with maybethe exception of Dani, because
she, I think, think, went intoit knowing a little bit more
than the rest of us Um, you know, I think we just we didn't know
(05:07):
what to expect and so there'sno one you can ask it's not like
I know someone else who's beenon Netflix what's the experience
like for you?
There's no one in your lifeunderstands.
It's an experience that onlyyou have, and you have that by
yourself.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Wow, wow.
How was that experience?
Tell us about that, and whatlike did you?
What did you learn from thatexperience about yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I learned that I work really well under pressure,
like I.
I kind of knew that alreadythat I could do things even when
the situation was challenging,but I didn't know to what degree
that I was capable of doingthat.
They, they really pushed us forfilming.
They were, they had a deadline.
They're trying to get it donein a certain amount of days.
They're not trying to extendtheir travel, um, so you gotta
(05:54):
be able to keep up with them.
It was eight hours of filmingevery day, uh, and that was
challenging, but I I did it.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Great job, by the way , too.
No, I I loved watching all ofthe.
All of the seasons of Love onthe Spectrum have been just
incredible.
Australia, US, it's been.
It's been amazing to finallysee representation in the media
that's authentic.
What do you think and say topeople that bring that up, that
(06:23):
say, um, that it's.
You know it's troubling to thecast members themselves I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Usually my feedback to that is to just ask the cast
members very few people who aresaying like oh man, this was
terrible, like have you asked usor are you just deciding it's
terrible?
You know, I agree, they're notusually asking, they're just
drawing their own conclusions.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
No, I couldn't agree with you more because I have
shared several things and youknow, people say, oh, I just I
don't like the representation.
And I say, well, I know peopleon the show, this is for them,
this is for them, for me toshare this for them Not, yeah,
not for you.
You don't have to like it orlike the post, for that matter,
right?
So, yeah, I, I think that it's.
It's really um a delicatesituation.
(07:10):
And two, especially um, does alot of do the other cast members
have, uh, their families andstuff, help them manage, like,
the social media aspect of thosethings?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, I think most of them.
I don't know about Danny, but Ithink most people.
Their social media is managedby their families.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yes, yeah, which is probably nice Cause.
Then they're not maybe exposedto as much.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I'm jealous a lot of the time.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah, I do not get support in that area, so wow, I
can't imagine how did it affectyour life in dating.
Did it?
Have you found that it'ssomething you want to keep
pursuing?
Are you dating right now, or Idon't know that I've given up.
You've given up?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
I don't know.
I think I've become a bit of aworkaholic and so, like all I do
is go to work and go home, Itravel a lot for conferences,
but there's not very many singlemen at those places usually.
Uh, so it's, it's been roughout there.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Well, and?
And do you live on your own?
I live with roommates.
Yep, I have.
Um, I have a tip that I learnedso many years ago and it was
just I can't remember where Ilearned it from, but they said
if you want to meet someone tofit into your life, make room
for them in your closet.
Clean half your closet out sothat there's empty space, so
that there's room for someone tocome into your life.
(08:30):
And it's just like a mentalmindset kind of.
Put it forth into you know,into the universe, that you want
to bring somebody, that youhave space for them.
So there's your tip yeah Right,space for them.
So there's your tip yeah Right.
And then maybe that'll kind of,then maybe you'll know when
you're really ready or whenyou're not.
Then, when you feel like that'sa necessary or a good thing to
(08:52):
do, that's good, that'sinteresting.
Um, let's see, we are really inan interesting era and of
information and everything rightnow, and there's a lot of buzz,
a lot of chatter, but I thinkit's the most exciting thing
(09:14):
that autism is in the ears andmouths of more people than ever
before.
That doesn't mean it's alwayspositive or a great thing, but
it's.
It's really cool that it'sfinally um something I can you
know talk about at the grocerystore and it's more widely known
than ever before.
But there are a lot ofmisconceptions.
(09:36):
What do you think um are likethe biggest misconceptions still
in in society right now?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
options still in society right now?
Oof, I don't know.
It's hard for me to answer thatone.
I am maybe skewed, maybe jaded,maybe a little bit bitter or
all of the above, just becauseI'm so entrenched in it that if
you ask me, you know what's thebiggest misconception around
autism.
I would say something about howpeople believe that if you
prefer small spoons and aredisgusted at the way that velvet
feels that, you too may in facthave autism, and I don't know
(10:09):
that that's a super mainstreamor widely held belief, but in
the kind of neurodivergent worldit certainly can seem as though
it may become a widely heldbelief and it's definitely
frustrating to see some of thosesensory experiences become
trivial trivialized and I knowthat's probably not the intent,
but I do think that's still theeffect.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, and it's really hard.
I think that when we,especially when we're in
positions where we need to usethe right language, use the
right references and things,then it gives you I mean, it
gives you a playground, butthere's boundaries that you need
to definitely stay within, andit can be hard and you can
(10:52):
definitely lose.
You can find yourself goingdown rabbit holes on social
medias, things like that, but Ithink that information for the
most part is moving in apositive direction.
I surely hope so.
I'm trying to do that, you know, with educational summits,
things like that, where I justhave all autistic speakers.
I'm trying to just show thatthere's representation to be
(11:16):
found everywhere, and especiallyglobally, like there's a lot of
you know places that still areso far behind, if that's fair to
say, um, in their resources andtheir knowledge and their
access to things, and sohopefully that will start to
change in the world.
Um, what are you?
Are you working on anything, uh, new or exciting right now?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I feel like nothing stands out at the moment, like
if I think, if I have to thinkabout it that long, probably
that's great.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
What kind of question off the, off the books, like,
what kind of hobbies, interestsand things like that do you find
yourself leading into?
Do you like to read or music?
What do you like to do?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I have joked before that I kind of suck at having
autism because I don't likeanything, which is really
unfortunate on a personal level.
I don't like fiction, I don'tlike fantasy, I don't like most
TV shows, I don't like to read,I don't like to exercise.
So finding hobbies and leisureactivities is actually very
challenging for me, and I don'tknow if it's just that
(12:24):
traditional you know, autismfueled resistance to new things
or if it's some other deeperexistential something, I don't
know.
But finding hobbies outside ofwork is challenging for me as an
adult.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, how about social life?
How's that been for findingsocial circles Easier now, or
where do you find yourself there?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I think if you'd asked me a couple weeks ago, my
answer would be different.
However, recently I made a newfriend from Instagram, which is
not something I typically do.
You know a lot of people willbe like, oh my gosh, I live in
your area, we should totallymeet up and followers are not
friends.
I'm sorry, they're just not.
Followers are more like clientsthan they are like friends.
There's a power imbalance.
We are not the same, and when wedo meet up, you will want
(13:08):
something from me and I willhave to give it to you, um, in a
, in whatever capacity that thatis.
You know they want an autograph, they want advice, they want me
to help them with theirautistic child.
You know, it's very sweet thatthey are so forthcoming with
their appreciation, but it's notthe same as a genuine
friendship.
However, someone elserecommended this person to me,
(13:29):
and so I guess that separationmade it seem more like it could
be a genuine friendship.
And so, because it came fromlike a third party, and they
were like, oh hey, I have thisother friend who would love to
be your friend.
She's autistic, she's atherapist, and so we met up for
dinner last week and then I wentto her house for dinner on
Wednesday.
So this is a new thing, becauseI'm not someone who has ever
(13:49):
had very many friends, so I'mvery excited about this.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I have the same same life.
I have a wonderful husband thatI've been best friends with for
21 years, so I guess that's thegreat part about it and we have
kids, but I don't have friendsoutside of my, of him, in our
like, house and everything right.
That's our island, our islandof bradford's, um, and that's
okay, like I've learned to justkind of love and appreciate, but
(14:15):
that every once in a while,when you do meet, I do meet that
person that I click with sogreat, and we can have like
meaningful conversations, and Ithink it has a lot to do with
that too Finding those peopleyou can have those meaningful
conversations with.
Like you said, they don't wantsomething from you.
I love that you said that,because that's a tricky thing,
(14:38):
especially when you're someoneand it sounds like I'm a very
like out extroverted, friendly,kind of take everyone in before,
and that can be dangerous, andso I think that you're a little
bit more guarded and a littlebit smarter about that, which my
daughter was that way too, andI admire that so much.
(14:59):
I'm like so thankful.
But no, I love that you saidthat, because it is true that
there is an aspect of fanfare orfollowers that just, you know,
want something and don't reallyhave, and it makes it.
I think it's kind of lonelyfeeling if you, if you, just
(15:20):
from that end too, I completelyunderstand that.
Oh gosh, sorry, I got a littleoff track.
Yeah.
Well, I think that what youknow Love on the Spectrum is
doing is fantastic.
What was it like working?
(15:47):
Was Jennifer Cook working then?
Is that who was your?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
coach at the time.
I she's now.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I did not get support .
Oh really, why is?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
that I don't know.
I guess you don't need it.
You're good you've.
You've got it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Figure it out, buddy really yeah, how was that aspect
for you then?
Did you find that that was alittle bit discriminatory, or I?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
maybe I shouldn't say too many things.
I live near each other.
She's in North Carolina and I'min South Carolina, so it would
not have been very challengingfor us to meet up.
Um, I assume they just werelike nah, you're good, you've
had, you know, some experiencehere and there, so you're good
to go.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And maybe your experience might've been
different if, like you, wouldhave had some different ideas or
you know, things.
But, oh my goodness, well, I, nomatter what you decide and what
works out.
I just hope the best for youand really thank you for being
such a wonderful role model toeveryone that is, you know,
(16:40):
looking at you for, um, foradvice and for, uh, helping.
You know it's so hard to.
I completely get it.
How can you help my child?
Well, you are probably the bestperson not you, but the mom or
the parent is the best person toto help their their own child.
(17:00):
Yes, um, what is there anyresources that you like,
especially that you might giveto families?
Um, for when they come to youand ask you those types of
things?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah, that's actually the whole reason I wrote my
book.
Um, I don't know if you haveread it or not, but no, tell me
yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh man, well, I guess I'm glad I'm learning, then.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, my book is called Life on the Bridge
Linking my World to Yours as anAutistic Therapist, and the
whole thing is supposed to bepractical, actionable advice
that you don't need resourcesfor, you don't need all these
materials or you don't need atherapist.
You can pick it up and pullsomething out of it that you can
do today if you want to.
So that was kind of my wholepoint, because I do get a lot of
(17:47):
messages from families who aresaying how do I help my autistic
child with communication, orhow do I help my autistic child
with their sensory needs oraccommodations, and I can't
possibly answer every singlemessage, but I care about every
single message.
So that's why I wrote that book.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Oh, I love that, thank you.
Thank you for doing that andI'll I'll make sure that the
links are there so that peoplecan read that.
And um, do you have a?
Is it on audio or on ebook orin?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
ebook.
Um, it's on Amazon, it's onBarnes and Noble online.
Love it, love that?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Uh, that's really helpful.
What type of accommodations doyou give to yourself now?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Hmm, I mean, I feel like I've got the basic ones,
you know the boring ones.
I've got fidget toys, I've gotheadphones, I've got earplugs,
kind of wherever I go.
Yeah, I would say those areprobably the big ones.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, that's good, and I think that, depending on
the support you need, thenthat's, you know, you need to
just follow and always just beauthentic to what your needs are
, and I think that that'shopefully something the world is
being able to learn from socialmedia and from TV and from the
representations and things likethat.
(19:04):
Is there any, is there any loveon the spectrum in the future
for you or anything like that?
Let the other ones take shotsat it and see how it turns out.
Yeah, that's good.
Do you stay in touch with a lotof the cast members?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, we don't live very close to each other None of
us really.
I do live close to Tanner andConnor, but they have just such
tight schedules that I think itmight be challenging to get
together with them.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, but a Zoom once in a while or something, and I
guess when you guys do likeevents or something, you guys
probably will see you all in thepictures, so I'm seeing it
together.
But how are those?
How have the events been andhow has it been?
Just like celebrating theaccomplishments and nominated
you know nominated thing Did youguys win?
(19:56):
I don't watch TV so I totallyapologize for not like knowing
about the award things, but yeah, how did that go?
What was that like for you?
Did you go?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I mean, I don't know, they didn't invite me.
No, you're kidding me.
Yeah, they didn't.
Um, they invited them forseason three.
They flew everybody out andpaid for it, and maybe it's like
you know you, you learn somethings the hard way um you know
some of us were.
I don't know if they knew thatour feelings were hurt about it
or that, if it mattered, whatthey told us was that there
(20:25):
wasn't a budget to fly us out.
Which, okay, you're Netflix,but okay.
So season one was notcelebrated in that way, but I am
not.
Well, let me restart that.
I'm very happy for season threethat they have kind of learned
to be a little bit moreinclusive with those
(20:48):
celebrations.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Good, no, I'm really glad to hear that too, but I am
sorry that that that is the casethat you had to go through so
good to know.
I mean, I think this issomething people don't know
Right.
They have this blurredperception of you were, you know
, oh, you got to get famous onthis show, but this is real life
(21:10):
and you still have to go towork and you still, you know,
have to feed animals or whatnotsand things like that.
So, yeah, I'm good.
What is your?
What are you going to do thisweekend?
Anything exciting coming up forthe weekend?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
I think I have to take my younger brother to
dinner tonight, so that'll be.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
And where do you go in South Carolina?
South Carolina, is that whereyou said you lived?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Yeah, I don't know, I will probably let him pick.
He's 19 and he's kind of amenace.
But he wasn't at that age.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, absolutely.
If you're not something's, thenyeah, Check it.
Something might be wrong.
No, just kidding.
I think that even my 15 yearold.
I look at him and I'm like youmight be semi-verbal, but you
still are giving me a good runfor my teenage money here, no,
it's, it's been, you know, and Ihave a 25 year old stepdaughter
(22:05):
.
So I had kind of a 20 yearparenting headstart not 20 years
headstart, 10 year headstart onmy own.
So that gave me a lot oflessons to learn and I brought a
lot of it into my parenting nowand I can tell you my youngest
(22:29):
my youngest Ooh, she's a spoiledAbsolutely.
We have a great communication.
I want to be in her life in 20years.
So I'm setting up thatfoundation with her now because
I think it's different.
It's like a different mindsetparenting thing altogether.
So you have a while to worryabout that.
Is that something you want inyour future?
I?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
mean, unless you know , miraculous conception is going
to happen.
I think it's probably not goingto happen, but you would want
to if you found the rightpartner?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I don't think so.
Oh, I like that too.
I like women that kind of knowwhat they want for their future,
because I think that it's it'sjust, we all have to follow our
own paths, and I think that themore accepted we can be for
everyone on their where they'reat, on their journey, um, the
easier it'll be for all of us tobe nice to one another.
(23:18):
You know, I I just I like to bekind, so for I guess I'm a
little different in that aspectthan most of the people I run up
into into the world, but that'sall right.
It's just so nice to get toknow you and I hope that we can
stay in touch and I can justcheck in and see how you're
doing, and and I won't, youwon't need to do anything or
(23:39):
send me anything, I promise I'lljust say hello.
No, it's been really nice.
What?
Where can people?
Obviously you have yourInstagram, things like that.
Where?
What other social medias onyour are you on where people can
go and find you and follow youand support you?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I'm everywhere Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and
YouTube.
Okay, Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Well and thank you.
Thank you for doing the workyou're doing, and what does your
everyday job look like when youwork?
Are you working with adults orwith kiddos.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
It's changing.
I am moving out of directservice and into more conceptual
work, a lot of writing, a lotof social media stuff, more
projects, more presentations.
So I will be sad to leavedirect service, but I will still
be very involved with thoseprocesses, so not too sad.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, right, no, and it's kind of nice to do another
aspect of things Right.
I like that.
So good for you.
Well, thank you so much foryour time.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
Yeah, absolutely, and I'd loveto stay in touch, so I will chat
with you later.
Hi, thanks for joining the SG Child show today.
I'm really, really excited tobring this guest to you guys I
think that you will also be soexcited and just to learn more
about her and her experiences.
Kaylin, you were on season oneor season two season one of Love
(00:26):
on the Spectrum.
But let's talk to you about waybefore that.
Let's just introduce yourself.
Tell us a little bit aboutyourself and we'll go from there
.
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Yeah, my name is Kaylin Partlow.
Most people know me from myparticipation in the Netflix
series Love on the Spectrum.
From there, my social mediaplatforms kind of exploded, so I
often get people recognizing mefrom like YouTube or Facebook
or Instagram and maybe theydon't even know that I've been
on the show, which is kind offlattering in its own way, just
because it means that I've got abig reach and I'm impacting a
(01:00):
lot of people.
And it's not necessarilycontingent on the Netflix show,
so that's really exciting andvery meaningful.
In my day to day, I'm a leadtherapist at Project Hope.
I work with autistic clientsand I also manage their social
media, so I'm very busy.
Speaker 1 (01:15):
I bet no, that sounds fascinating and it's great that
you can give back to thecommunity and be in the
community as well, and I thinkthat that's one thing I've found
so refreshing.
I mean, I came into thecommunity as a mom and then had
a late diagnosis and felt evenmore about being a part of
something that I found,something I finally belong to
(01:37):
and people I could relate withand have great conversations
with.
So tell us a little bit abouthow that journey began for you
and your diagnosis journey as achild and what that looked like,
or as an adult, whatevertimeframe that was for you.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
Yeah, so when I was very young, my mom brought up
concerns about autism to thepediatricians, but I like to
joke that in the nineties girlscouldn't catch autism, I guess I
don't know.
Doctors were just like soconfused on the fact that girls
can also be on the autismspectrum and so, despite her
seeing concerns in earlychildhood, like extreme sensory
aversions and meltdowns, theywouldn't even entertain the idea
(02:14):
of looking into that further.
So it wasn't until I wasfailing the third grade and was
talking about, you know, notwanting to be on the earth
anymore, that anybody was ableto take that seriously, and it
was primarily because ofacademic deficits was the only
time that professionals hadconsidered that.
So, after a bunch of privatepay testing in Orlando, that's
(02:37):
when I got the diagnosis ofautism at the age of 10.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Wow, too late to I'm for you to have gone through
that and I'm so sorry you had togo through those things and
there's there's a pride, there'slike this value to the
knowledge, um, and that's a lotof things.
A lot of parents are afraid ofgetting a diagnosis and what
that looks like.
But let's talk about what itlooks like when you don't have
(03:01):
that and you don't have accessto the support and you don't
have a belief system, if youwill, around you to help really
guide you and empower you forthe skills that you have, you
need to be built on and thechallenges that you need help to
overcome.
That's really great that youknow your mom just fought for
(03:24):
that support.
It sounds like, and sometimesit's great that we have those
people fighting for us in thosecorners.
And then where does that looklike?
The advocacy take a turn foryou and where do you find
yourself fitting into that andyou know big, building your
future on that.
Speaker 2 (03:45):
On what.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
On the advocacy of your own, having your own
diagnosis, like when did youstart your advocacy work?
Speaker 2 (03:53):
Um, it was probably around the time that Love on the
Spectrum came out.
I had a Facebook page that I,you know was intentional about
sharing specific informationthat I thought might be helpful
to people, but it really wasn't,you know, influenced at all by
like, my like.
I don't even think I posted aselfie on there for the longest
time, like I didn't necessarilywant my name or my face attached
to it, and I don't really knowthat I had a reason for it.
(04:15):
I just thought that that wasnot necessary, and then, after
the show came out, I kind ofrealized that having a name and
a face definitely adds somethingvaluable to people, you know,
gives them something to connectwith, and so it kind of, just
like I said, it grew from there.
Speaker 1 (04:29):
Yeah, how was that for you, that over, you know,
that explosion of social mediaand everything, how was that for
your senses and kind of, howdid that play on you and how did
it affect you in your personallife?
Speaker 2 (04:46):
They told us that that would happen, that our
social medias would kind of takeoff, that people would be
messaging us.
People in the grocery storemight ask to take selfies, but
they really didn't and maybethey didn't know, but they
didn't really explain to whatextent that that might happen.
So I think all of us with maybethe exception of Dani, because
she, I think, think, went intoit knowing a little bit more
than the rest of us Um, you know, I think we just we didn't know
(05:07):
what to expect and so there'sno one you can ask it's not like
I know someone else who's beenon Netflix what's the experience
like for you?
There's no one in your lifeunderstands.
It's an experience that onlyyou have, and you have that by
yourself.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Wow, wow.
How was that experience?
Tell us about that, and whatlike did you?
What did you learn from thatexperience about yourself?
Speaker 2 (05:30):
I learned that I work really well under pressure,
like I.
I kind of knew that alreadythat I could do things even when
the situation was challenging,but I didn't know to what degree
that I was capable of doingthat.
They, they really pushed us forfilming.
They were, they had a deadline.
They're trying to get it donein a certain amount of days.
They're not trying to extendtheir travel, um, so you gotta
(05:54):
be able to keep up with them.
It was eight hours of filmingevery day, uh, and that was
challenging, but I I did it.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Great job, by the way , too.
No, I I loved watching all ofthe.
All of the seasons of Love onthe Spectrum have been just
incredible.
Australia, US, it's been.
It's been amazing to finallysee representation in the media
that's authentic.
What do you think and say topeople that bring that up, that
(06:23):
say, um, that it's.
You know it's troubling to thecast members themselves I mean.
Speaker 2 (06:34):
Usually my feedback to that is to just ask the cast
members very few people who aresaying like oh man, this was
terrible, like have you asked usor are you just deciding it's
terrible?
You know, I agree, they're notusually asking, they're just
drawing their own conclusions.
Speaker 1 (06:48):
No, I couldn't agree with you more because I have
shared several things and youknow, people say, oh, I just I
don't like the representation.
And I say, well, I know peopleon the show, this is for them,
this is for them, for me toshare this for them Not, yeah,
not for you.
You don't have to like it orlike the post, for that matter,
right?
So, yeah, I, I think that it's.
It's really um a delicatesituation.
(07:10):
And two, especially um, does alot of do the other cast members
have, uh, their families andstuff, help them manage, like,
the social media aspect of thosethings?
Speaker 2 (07:22):
Yeah, I think most of them.
I don't know about Danny, but Ithink most people.
Their social media is managedby their families.
Speaker 1 (07:28):
Yes, yeah, which is probably nice Cause.
Then they're not maybe exposedto as much.
Speaker 2 (07:33):
I'm jealous a lot of the time.
Speaker 1 (07:35):
Yeah, I do not get support in that area, so wow, I
can't imagine how did it affectyour life in dating.
Did it?
Have you found that it'ssomething you want to keep
pursuing?
Are you dating right now, or Idon't know that I've given up.
You've given up?
Speaker 2 (07:55):
I don't know.
I think I've become a bit of aworkaholic and so, like all I do
is go to work and go home, Itravel a lot for conferences,
but there's not very many singlemen at those places usually.
Uh, so it's, it's been roughout there.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Well, and?
And do you live on your own?
I live with roommates.
Yep, I have.
Um, I have a tip that I learnedso many years ago and it was
just I can't remember where Ilearned it from, but they said
if you want to meet someone tofit into your life, make room
for them in your closet.
Clean half your closet out sothat there's empty space, so
that there's room for someone tocome into your life.
(08:30):
And it's just like a mentalmindset kind of.
Put it forth into you know,into the universe, that you want
to bring somebody, that youhave space for them.
So there's your tip yeah Right,space for them.
So there's your tip yeah Right.
And then maybe that'll kind of,then maybe you'll know when
you're really ready or whenyou're not.
Then, when you feel like that'sa necessary or a good thing to
(08:52):
do, that's good, that'sinteresting.
Um, let's see, we are really inan interesting era and of
information and everything rightnow, and there's a lot of buzz,
a lot of chatter, but I thinkit's the most exciting thing
(09:14):
that autism is in the ears andmouths of more people than ever
before.
That doesn't mean it's alwayspositive or a great thing, but
it's.
It's really cool that it'sfinally um something I can you
know talk about at the grocerystore and it's more widely known
than ever before.
But there are a lot ofmisconceptions.
(09:36):
What do you think um are likethe biggest misconceptions still
in in society right now?
Speaker 2 (09:48):
options still in society right now?
Oof, I don't know.
It's hard for me to answer thatone.
I am maybe skewed, maybe jaded,maybe a little bit bitter or
all of the above, just becauseI'm so entrenched in it that if
you ask me, you know what's thebiggest misconception around
autism.
I would say something about howpeople believe that if you
prefer small spoons and aredisgusted at the way that velvet
feels that, you too may in facthave autism, and I don't know
(10:09):
that that's a super mainstreamor widely held belief, but in
the kind of neurodivergent worldit certainly can seem as though
it may become a widely heldbelief and it's definitely
frustrating to see some of thosesensory experiences become
trivial trivialized and I knowthat's probably not the intent,
but I do think that's still theeffect.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Yeah, and it's really hard.
I think that when we,especially when we're in
positions where we need to usethe right language, use the
right references and things,then it gives you I mean, it
gives you a playground, butthere's boundaries that you need
to definitely stay within, andit can be hard and you can
(10:52):
definitely lose.
You can find yourself goingdown rabbit holes on social
medias, things like that, but Ithink that information for the
most part is moving in apositive direction.
I surely hope so.
I'm trying to do that, you know, with educational summits,
things like that, where I justhave all autistic speakers.
I'm trying to just show thatthere's representation to be
(11:16):
found everywhere, and especiallyglobally, like there's a lot of
you know places that still areso far behind, if that's fair to
say, um, in their resources andtheir knowledge and their
access to things, and sohopefully that will start to
change in the world.
Um, what are you?
Are you working on anything, uh, new or exciting right now?
Speaker 2 (11:43):
I feel like nothing stands out at the moment, like
if I think, if I have to thinkabout it that long, probably
that's great.
Speaker 1 (11:50):
What kind of question off the, off the books, like,
what kind of hobbies, interestsand things like that do you find
yourself leading into?
Do you like to read or music?
What do you like to do?
Speaker 2 (12:04):
I have joked before that I kind of suck at having
autism because I don't likeanything, which is really
unfortunate on a personal level.
I don't like fiction, I don'tlike fantasy, I don't like most
TV shows, I don't like to read,I don't like to exercise.
So finding hobbies and leisureactivities is actually very
challenging for me, and I don'tknow if it's just that
(12:24):
traditional you know, autismfueled resistance to new things
or if it's some other deeperexistential something, I don't
know.
But finding hobbies outside ofwork is challenging for me as an
adult.
Speaker 1 (12:37):
Yeah, how about social life?
How's that been for findingsocial circles Easier now, or
where do you find yourself there?
Speaker 2 (12:46):
I think if you'd asked me a couple weeks ago, my
answer would be different.
However, recently I made a newfriend from Instagram, which is
not something I typically do.
You know a lot of people willbe like, oh my gosh, I live in
your area, we should totallymeet up and followers are not
friends.
I'm sorry, they're just not.
Followers are more like clientsthan they are like friends.
There's a power imbalance.
We are not the same, and when wedo meet up, you will want
(13:08):
something from me and I willhave to give it to you, um, in a
, in whatever capacity that thatis.
You know they want an autograph, they want advice, they want me
to help them with theirautistic child.
You know, it's very sweet thatthey are so forthcoming with
their appreciation, but it's notthe same as a genuine
friendship.
However, someone elserecommended this person to me,
(13:29):
and so I guess that separationmade it seem more like it could
be a genuine friendship.
And so, because it came fromlike a third party, and they
were like, oh hey, I have thisother friend who would love to
be your friend.
She's autistic, she's atherapist, and so we met up for
dinner last week and then I wentto her house for dinner on
Wednesday.
So this is a new thing, becauseI'm not someone who has ever
(13:49):
had very many friends, so I'mvery excited about this.
Speaker 1 (13:52):
I have the same same life.
I have a wonderful husband thatI've been best friends with for
21 years, so I guess that's thegreat part about it and we have
kids, but I don't have friendsoutside of my, of him, in our
like, house and everything right.
That's our island, our islandof bradford's, um, and that's
okay, like I've learned to justkind of love and appreciate, but
(14:15):
that every once in a while,when you do meet, I do meet that
person that I click with sogreat, and we can have like
meaningful conversations, and Ithink it has a lot to do with
that too Finding those peopleyou can have those meaningful
conversations with.
Like you said, they don't wantsomething from you.
I love that you said that,because that's a tricky thing,
(14:38):
especially when you're someoneand it sounds like I'm a very
like out extroverted, friendly,kind of take everyone in before,
and that can be dangerous, andso I think that you're a little
bit more guarded and a littlebit smarter about that, which my
daughter was that way too, andI admire that so much.
(14:59):
I'm like so thankful.
But no, I love that you saidthat, because it is true that
there is an aspect of fanfare orfollowers that just, you know,
want something and don't reallyhave, and it makes it.
I think it's kind of lonelyfeeling if you, if you, just
(15:20):
from that end too, I completelyunderstand that.
Oh gosh, sorry, I got a littleoff track.
Yeah.
Well, I think that what youknow Love on the Spectrum is
doing is fantastic.
What was it like working?
(15:47):
Was Jennifer Cook working then?
Is that who was your?
Speaker 2 (15:49):
coach at the time.
I she's now.
Speaker 1 (15:50):
I did not get support .
Oh really, why is?
Speaker 2 (15:51):
that I don't know.
I guess you don't need it.
You're good you've.
You've got it.
Speaker 1 (15:54):
Figure it out, buddy really yeah, how was that aspect
for you then?
Did you find that that was alittle bit discriminatory, or I?
Speaker 2 (16:03):
maybe I shouldn't say too many things.
I live near each other.
She's in North Carolina and I'min South Carolina, so it would
not have been very challengingfor us to meet up.
Um, I assume they just werelike nah, you're good, you've
had, you know, some experiencehere and there, so you're good
to go.
Wow.
Speaker 1 (16:18):
And maybe your experience might've been
different if, like you, wouldhave had some different ideas or
you know, things.
But, oh my goodness, well, I, nomatter what you decide and what
works out.
I just hope the best for youand really thank you for being
such a wonderful role model toeveryone that is, you know,
(16:40):
looking at you for, um, foradvice and for, uh, helping.
You know it's so hard to.
I completely get it.
How can you help my child?
Well, you are probably the bestperson not you, but the mom or
the parent is the best person toto help their their own child.
(17:00):
Yes, um, what is there anyresources that you like,
especially that you might giveto families?
Um, for when they come to youand ask you those types of
things?
Speaker 2 (17:14):
Yeah, that's actually the whole reason I wrote my
book.
Um, I don't know if you haveread it or not, but no, tell me
yeah, I didn't know.
Speaker 1 (17:21):
Oh man, well, I guess I'm glad I'm learning, then.
Speaker 2 (17:26):
Yeah, my book is called Life on the Bridge
Linking my World to Yours as anAutistic Therapist, and the
whole thing is supposed to bepractical, actionable advice
that you don't need resourcesfor, you don't need all these
materials or you don't need atherapist.
You can pick it up and pullsomething out of it that you can
do today if you want to.
So that was kind of my wholepoint, because I do get a lot of
(17:47):
messages from families who aresaying how do I help my autistic
child with communication, orhow do I help my autistic child
with their sensory needs oraccommodations, and I can't
possibly answer every singlemessage, but I care about every
single message.
So that's why I wrote that book.
Speaker 1 (18:02):
Oh, I love that, thank you.
Thank you for doing that andI'll I'll make sure that the
links are there so that peoplecan read that.
And um, do you have a?
Is it on audio or on ebook orin?
Speaker 2 (18:13):
ebook.
Um, it's on Amazon, it's onBarnes and Noble online.
Love it, love that?
Speaker 1 (18:17):
Uh, that's really helpful.
What type of accommodations doyou give to yourself now?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Hmm, I mean, I feel like I've got the basic ones,
you know the boring ones.
I've got fidget toys, I've gotheadphones, I've got earplugs,
kind of wherever I go.
Yeah, I would say those areprobably the big ones.
Speaker 1 (18:42):
Yeah, that's good, and I think that, depending on
the support you need, thenthat's, you know, you need to
just follow and always just beauthentic to what your needs are
, and I think that that'shopefully something the world is
being able to learn from socialmedia and from TV and from the
representations and things likethat.
(19:04):
Is there any, is there any loveon the spectrum in the future
for you or anything like that?
Let the other ones take shotsat it and see how it turns out.
Yeah, that's good.
Do you stay in touch with a lotof the cast members?
Speaker 2 (19:23):
Yeah, we don't live very close to each other None of
us really.
I do live close to Tanner andConnor, but they have just such
tight schedules that I think itmight be challenging to get
together with them.
Speaker 1 (19:34):
Yeah, but a Zoom once in a while or something, and I
guess when you guys do likeevents or something, you guys
probably will see you all in thepictures, so I'm seeing it
together.
But how are those?
How have the events been andhow has it been?
Just like celebrating theaccomplishments and nominated
you know nominated thing Did youguys win?
(19:56):
I don't watch TV so I totallyapologize for not like knowing
about the award things, but yeah, how did that go?
What was that like for you?
Did you go?
Speaker 2 (20:05):
I mean, I don't know, they didn't invite me.
No, you're kidding me.
Yeah, they didn't.
Um, they invited them forseason three.
They flew everybody out andpaid for it, and maybe it's like
you know you, you learn somethings the hard way um you know
some of us were.
I don't know if they knew thatour feelings were hurt about it
or that, if it mattered, whatthey told us was that there
(20:25):
wasn't a budget to fly us out.
Which, okay, you're Netflix,but okay.
So season one was notcelebrated in that way, but I am
not.
Well, let me restart that.
I'm very happy for season threethat they have kind of learned
to be a little bit moreinclusive with those
(20:48):
celebrations.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
Good, no, I'm really glad to hear that too, but I am
sorry that that that is the casethat you had to go through so
good to know.
I mean, I think this issomething people don't know
Right.
They have this blurredperception of you were, you know
, oh, you got to get famous onthis show, but this is real life
(21:10):
and you still have to go towork and you still, you know,
have to feed animals or whatnotsand things like that.
So, yeah, I'm good.
What is your?
What are you going to do thisweekend?
Anything exciting coming up forthe weekend?
Speaker 2 (21:27):
I think I have to take my younger brother to
dinner tonight, so that'll be.
Speaker 1 (21:32):
And where do you go in South Carolina?
South Carolina, is that whereyou said you lived?
Speaker 2 (21:35):
Yeah, I don't know, I will probably let him pick.
He's 19 and he's kind of amenace.
But he wasn't at that age.
Speaker 1 (21:45):
Yeah, absolutely.
If you're not something's, thenyeah, Check it.
Something might be wrong.
No, just kidding.
I think that even my 15 yearold.
I look at him and I'm like youmight be semi-verbal, but you
still are giving me a good runfor my teenage money here, no,
it's, it's been, you know, and Ihave a 25 year old stepdaughter
(22:05):
.
So I had kind of a 20 yearparenting headstart not 20 years
headstart, 10 year headstart onmy own.
So that gave me a lot oflessons to learn and I brought a
lot of it into my parenting nowand I can tell you my youngest
(22:29):
my youngest Ooh, she's a spoiledAbsolutely.
We have a great communication.
I want to be in her life in 20years.
So I'm setting up thatfoundation with her now because
I think it's different.
It's like a different mindsetparenting thing altogether.
So you have a while to worryabout that.
Is that something you want inyour future?
I?
Speaker 2 (22:44):
mean, unless you know , miraculous conception is going
to happen.
I think it's probably not goingto happen, but you would want
to if you found the rightpartner?
Speaker 1 (22:57):
I don't think so.
Oh, I like that too.
I like women that kind of knowwhat they want for their future,
because I think that it's it'sjust, we all have to follow our
own paths, and I think that themore accepted we can be for
everyone on their where they'reat, on their journey, um, the
easier it'll be for all of us tobe nice to one another.
(23:18):
You know, I I just I like to bekind, so for I guess I'm a
little different in that aspectthan most of the people I run up
into into the world, but that'sall right.
It's just so nice to get toknow you and I hope that we can
stay in touch and I can justcheck in and see how you're
doing, and and I won't, youwon't need to do anything or
(23:39):
send me anything, I promise I'lljust say hello.
No, it's been really nice.
What?
Where can people?
Obviously you have yourInstagram, things like that.
Where?
What other social medias onyour are you on where people can
go and find you and follow youand support you?
Speaker 2 (23:57):
I'm everywhere Instagram, Facebook, TikTok and
YouTube.
Okay, Fantastic.
Speaker 1 (24:02):
Well and thank you.
Thank you for doing the workyou're doing, and what does your
everyday job look like when youwork?
Are you working with adults orwith kiddos.
Speaker 2 (24:14):
It's changing.
I am moving out of directservice and into more conceptual
work, a lot of writing, a lotof social media stuff, more
projects, more presentations.
So I will be sad to leavedirect service, but I will still
be very involved with thoseprocesses, so not too sad.
Speaker 1 (24:33):
Yeah, right, no, and it's kind of nice to do another
aspect of things Right.
I like that.
So good for you.
Well, thank you so much foryour time.
Yeah, I appreciate it.
Yeah, absolutely, and I'd loveto stay in touch, so I will chat
with you later.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
The Joe Rogan Experience
The official podcast of comedian Joe Rogan.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.