Navigating School Bullying: A Call to Educators for Open Communication and Action

Strap yourself in as we embark on an intense journey of personal discovery and intense disappointment, underscored by the harsh reality of school bullying. My own daughter was the victim, a revelation that shook me to my very core. Her story served as a stark reminder about the imperative role we educators play in protecting our students from the psychological and physical torment that bullying inflicts. Despite my position as a school leader, even I was blindsided by the lack of immediate action taken by the school and the subsequent lack of communication.

This episode goes beyond just sharing my personal ordeal. It serves as a clarion call to educators and school leaders everywhere to take immediate, decisive action against bullying. I echo the sentiment that communication is the lifeblood of prevention and resolution in such matters. Hear the story of a sneaker principal, a tale that starkly illustrates the needless conflicts that arise from poor communication. This episode is a pledge to honor the trust parents place in us, a trust that we must never betray. Let's ensure the school environment is a safe haven for our children and not a battleground. Join me as we navigate these choppy waters, seeking solutions and striving for open, effective communication between parents and school staff.

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Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
When they see me.
They know that every day, whenI'm breathing, it's for us to go
farther.
You know, every time I speak, Iwant the truth to come out.
You know I'm saying every timeI speak I want to shiver.
You know I don't want them tobe like.
They know what I'm gonna saybecause it's polite.
They know what I'm gonna sayand even if I get in trouble,
you know I'm saying that.
Ain't that what we're supposedto do?
It's.
I'm not saying I'm gonna rulethe world or I'm gonna change

(00:21):
the world, but I guarantee thatI will spark the, the brain that
will change the world.
And that's our job.
It's to spark somebody elsewatching us.
We might not be the ones, butlet's not be selfish.
And because we're not gonnachange the world, let's not talk
about how we should change it.
I don't know how to change it,but I know, if I keep talking
about how dirty it is out here,somebody gonna clean it up.
And now he's been promoted hisjob principal.

Speaker 2 (00:56):
Welcome to you, welcome to the sneaker principal
podcast.
I'm a slipped up there and saidwelcome to the in joku show.
I don't know what's goingthrough my brain this morning,
but um.
Yeah there's a lot going onthrough my brain.
My name is to change your coonsneaker principal and In this
episode, very short episode, Iwant to talk to you about

(01:18):
something very personal, but italso links to my job, my work as
a school leader.
So this past Friday I Got atext message about my daughter
from her mother and the textmessage was you know that my

(01:39):
daughter, our daughter, is beingbullied and and, um, you know
it's.
It's interesting to get thatmessage About your child,
especially doing what I do andhaving done this for such a long
time.
Those of you who know me knowthat I started my career as a
dean and as a dean, one of thethings that I dealt out of many,

(02:04):
many times, countless times Ican't even I Mean, I can't even
put a number to it it'sincidents of bullying and
bullying when, whether it'sphysical, psychological or even
in a space of Perceived, it istough Because it puts you in a

(02:29):
place where you feel like you'redisconnected from everyone else
.
And I know this personallybecause as a kid I got bullied.
You know, I'm an immigrant herefrom Nigeria, at the age Like
dead and I still really young,being different, being the space
where I was the standout, youknow it made me a very easy

(02:51):
target.
So as an educator, as a leader,I've decided to really make
that my non-negotiable andtolerable thing that once I see
it, it must be attacked, and Iwanna say that I think I've done
a good job at it over the years.
I have many children who arenow adults.

(03:13):
I had many children who are nowadults that I've been spoken to
, you know, in their presentexistence, about the past and
what they went through, and I'vealways been proud that I've,
you know, I address those issuesto make sure at least to
minimize that happening withinthe schools that I work at.

(03:33):
So to get the message that mydaughter is a victim of this,
you know, definitely rattled me.
But what even made it worse wasthat it wasn't a psychological
type thing or kids talking, itwas physical.
So she said she got hit in thechest by another girl and I was

(03:54):
okay.
My first question was did thisschool reach out to us, reach
out to you, you know, send us anemail, make a phone call to say
, hey, this happened in school?
And the answer was no.
Then my next question is mymind, did she actually tell
someone that this happened and Igot in front of my daughter and
she said she told the teacherand told the classroom aid.

(04:16):
I was okay.
So my daughter has been, youknow, physically touched in a
manner that was intimidating andactually even I mean let's go
down to the lowest denominatorshe was touched in the unwanted
fashion, you know, brought toyour attention as an educator

(04:37):
and as a parent, you know, setaside my 20 year career, set
aside my role as a principal,just as a parent.
There was not a phone call, anemail, anything, a note home.
That's a problem for me, a bigproblem for me, because one of
the things that should be ourresponsibilities as the adult in

(05:00):
the life of children in schoolsis to make sure they're
physically, mentally,spiritually and emotionally safe
.
You know, then, nothinginterferes with that and things
will interfere with that Ifthings happen that we are, as
parents, communicated with so wecan take the appropriate steps.
So in this case she was hittingthe chest.
I mean, that's what mydaughter's saying.

(05:20):
So my thing is, I don't knowhow hard, I don't know what.
You know, she's five years old,so God forbid, it was something
extremely serious, with no,nothing about.
She gets home and she passesout because she has contusion in
her chest or something.
You know, something happens andwe don't know.

(05:40):
So this morning I'm gonna go tothe school and have a
conversation with the principal.
I'm pretty sure I teach I won'tbe able to speak to the teacher
, but I would definitely want tospeak to the principal as a
parent, not as a sneakerprincipal, not as a school
leader, just as a parent,because I just need to
understand what happened there.
So why am I sharing this withyou?

(06:03):
But if you're listening to this, more likely you are an
educator.
Whether you're a teacher, youare aspiring school leader or
you are a school leader,principal, assistant, principal,
superintendent, wherever youmay be across this country, it's
interesting enough across theworld, we have to honor our
parents.
I know it's hard.
You know the stem is always.

(06:26):
You know we can't be everywhereand I know that I actually know
that person and we cannot beeverywhere.
But once we know something, wehave to say something.
The same way we ask ourchildren is if they happen to
say something.
As your adults, you have to saysomething, because what happens
is when you don't say anything.
That's when you have days likethis that start off not the way
you expected it to start off,meaning that somebody like

(06:47):
myself is gonna walk in there orsmile on my face and ask the
question.
It's gonna rattle your morning.
Because, again, it is yourresponsibility.
It is my responsibility as aschool leader, as a teacher, as
an educator, as an adult humanbeing tasked, tasked as a tasked
tasked with overseeing children.

(07:09):
When a parent sends their childto my school, I have the full
understanding and belief thatwhat they want for their child
is safety.
You know I mean for yet theABCs one, two, three.
If the child is not safe, whywould I want to send my child to
school?
But even more than that, ifyou're not communicating with me

(07:32):
, letting me know what'shappening, your current
situation, that can bedisruptive to your day as a
school and I can cause way moretrauma issues within the school
space because now perceptionsare being made by me about
what's happening in that school.
The other thing to myself is mychild's safe in that school?
Is that child who hit her orwhatever the case may have been

(07:55):
in the same classroom?
This is gonna happen again.
All these things that could haveeasily been minimized by
communicating.
And, trust me, I went to myemails over and over again just
to make sure in my junk mailthere was no email stay, because
in this day, the age we live in, people hide behind emails
rather than making no phonecalls.
And I get it, I get it.

(08:15):
You know people will send textmessages, I get it.
It's the world we live in now.
But at minimum, do that.
My expectation on what I wouldlove is to get a phone call, but
hey, I have no control overthat.
But there will be aconversation today.
So school leaders, teachers,assistant principal, aspiring
leaders, remember communicationwith parents.

(08:36):
Their children are the centerof what we do.
Okay, they're entrusting outtheir children with us.
It doesn't matter who the childis or the child might have done
, but you have to communicatewith the parents, let them so
they are aware, you know,because that minimizes a lot of
unnecessary stuff that canhappen because we're not

(08:58):
communicating.
So I'm gonna cut this short.
I'm gonna be heading outshortly.
I definitely want to make surethat I share this with you and
stay tuned to the next episode.
Hopefully y'all have someinteresting news and hopefully
this is a cautionary tale.
Don't have the sneakerprincipal coming to your school
asking you why their child gothit and you need to communicate

(09:19):
with them.
I say that with tongue in cheek, but really don't let any
parent be in that situation tocall you out.
All right, thank you again.
Have an amazing day and I'lltalk to you all soon.
All right, peace.