Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Welcome back to the
Sneak Principle Podcast.
In this episode, I want to talkto you about a topic that is
generally taboo when it comes toschool leaders, and that is
imposter syndrome.
Not anybody's meant to be aprincipal.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
When they see me,
they know that every day, when
I'm breathing, it's for us to gofarther.
Every time I speak, I want thetruth to come out.
Every time I speak, I want toshiver.
I don't want them to be like.
They know what I'm going to saybecause it's polite.
They know what I'm going to sayand even if I get in trouble,
that ain't what we're supposedto do.
I'm not saying I'm going torule the world or I'm going to
(00:42):
change the world, but Iguarantee that I will spark the
brain that will change the world, and that's our job is to spark
somebody else watching us.
We might not be the ones, butlet's not be selfish, because
we're not going to change theworld.
Let's not talk about how weshould change it.
I don't know how to change it,but I know if I keep talking
about how dirty it is out here,somebody going to clean it up,
(01:10):
and now he's been promoted.
His job is principal.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
So growing up as a
kid in Southern California, the
one thing you would always findme with especially- in middle
school was a camera, whether itwas the 110, you know, the Kodak
the 110 film, you know you hadto kind of like wind it, you
(01:42):
know, or it might have been a 35millimeter.
You know, I always had a camera.
You know, and in my mind, deepin my subconscious, I knew, or
at least I believed, thatsomehow, some way, the camera
would be always part of myexistence.
Now fast forward Today.
(02:05):
This is not how I pay the bills, you know, even though I have a
camera in front of me recordingthis podcast camera in my hand.
I've started to work on havingthis be part of my, you know,
daily ritual, whether it's goingfor a walk or at my school,
documenting the environment washappening as I work with my team
(02:27):
to transform a school.
What I am now is far from beinga photographer or filmmaker or
videographer.
I'm a school principal and I'mvery confident in my role as
school principal.
It was always the case Impostersyndrome, that nighting feeling
(02:50):
of self-doubt, that voicetelling you that you're not good
enough, despite myaccomplishments, despite what
anyone had to say to me aboutwhat I was doing.
This was something that I dealtwith, that I overcame.
But not everyone, not everyone,ever comes back and everyone
(03:17):
has that moment in their mind,when they become a school leader
, of extreme doubt what if Imess up In New York City?
This ongoing theme that I think, conn Light, connects every
school principal the fear ofbeing on the cover of the New
York Posts or the Daily News, oryou working in New York Times
(03:39):
for doing something that iscareer killing.
So it's a natural thing inposture syndrome, but also, in
some cases, it is the foundationof a truth, and that truth is
(04:01):
that not everyone is meant to bea principal, not everybody is
meant for school leadership andunfortunately, some people find
out the hard way, they find outway too late and it becomes
something that impacts thegreater community.
(04:21):
There are some myths aboutbeing a principal or about the
principal shift that needs totruly be unpacked.
There are myths that being aschool principal that you need
(04:42):
to know everything, that youwalk into that space and you are
just a library of knowledge andyou have every single answer.
And that is not true.
I'm yet to meet that schoolleader who has all the answers
or has had a perfect run intheir career as a school leader,
(05:04):
if anything, the majority ofthe time you don't have the
answer.
You have experiences that canlead to a possible solution, but
no two situations are everidentical, especially when you
lead in school.
We have those bodies, thosebodies in your building children
(05:25):
and adults, faculty, you know,teaching, the pedagogues, the
support staff, parents, thecommunity, the Bodega owner,
donald Block, who loves the factthat in the morning, you know,
hundreds of kids are runningthrough their store and pumping
their business, but those kidslate to school at the same time
(05:47):
making, you know, schoolattendance, you know, quite
complicated.
You know how do you solve thesethings all require not an
innate inability, an innateability to have a solution, but
just requires so much more.
(06:19):
I'm thinking about the peoplethat I know who inspired me as
school leaders, those who Iwatched and I thought to myself
oh my goodness, I can never beas good as them.
And now I think about thosepeople who are now friends of
mine, colleagues, and I realizethat they literally function to
(06:44):
what I just describedexperiences, confidence, the
willingness to make mistakes andby doing this their minds
become malleable and pliable andthey're able to do and see
(07:05):
things from different angles andthey have these amazing careers
and the impacts for me in lives.
But in reality, if not everyonecan do this, that's a simple
fact.
Let's call it what it is.
A lot of people pursue schoolleadership.
(07:30):
A lot of people pursue schoolleadership for the simple fact
of increased income you know,not understanding that it's the
income.
In no way does it ever, ever,ever, ever come close to being
equitable enumeration to what isrequired of you as a school
(07:53):
leader.
I've always said this this isnot a job.
This is your life's work.
You don't get rich doing this.
Yes, you might be morecomfortable.
Yes, you know you might have alittle bit more padding in your
bank account, but if you countthe number of hours that is
(08:14):
spent engaged in the job, thatis beyond seven and a half hours
, like here in New York City.
That is contractually your worktime that you realize this is
all consuming and in it beingall consuming you're minus one.
All the time You're alwaysthinking about the next meeting,
(08:37):
You're always thinking aboutthe next lesson plan, You're
always thinking about nextobservation, the next million
things that are happening.
And in that space you have toestablish a flow, a flow of how
you function in that space and,again, not everyone is cut out
(09:02):
for it.
It requires a unique blend ofskills, temperament but, most
importantly, passion, Passionfor leading in ways that impacts
the whole community.
And when you're in that space,there's very little room for
(09:24):
doubt.
Speaker 2 (09:25):
Even though it's
always going to be there.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
it requires that
you're always growing, you're
always willing to accept thatyou don't have the answers, but
even more so that you're willingto say that you don't have all
the answers, but you're willingto find the answer.
One thing I've seen, or becauseof my careers, are principles
(09:57):
who have had very short careersor have their careers come to an
abrupt end because they weren'twilling to do one simple thing.
Ask someone else.
They walk into a room to theirschools and they spew all the
(10:21):
things that they think should bedone because the textbook said
so, because they saw somebodyelse do the same thing in the
same situation, but notrealizing that every single
situation is unique.
(10:41):
And that was that.
Union grievance might seem to beabout point A, but it's really
about point F.
So you're dealing with a pointA assumption when the issue here
(11:02):
has nothing to do with point A.
Point A is the facade, it'sjust the covering of the problem
.
But if you dig deeper you findthis point F.
But how do you get there?
How do you go?
Dig through A and B and C and Dand E and realize man.
(11:24):
The issue here was never theschedule the teacher has.
The issue was that there isdeep anxiety about being able to
leave work on time to pick up achild from daycare and that
(11:47):
daycare is charging $20, $30,$40 for each additional hour or
every 15 minutes that you'relate to pick up the child,
adding additional stress on thissingle parent who's a teacher
of your staff.
So they don't want to speak ontheir child.
(12:07):
But they're telling you theissue is this over here, and I'm
just using this as an examplebut you're dealing with that,
saying this is contractorycorrecting.
This is exactly how it shouldbe.
I'm sorry that every otherteacher but you're not asking
the questions.
That leads you to F and you'relike whoa, how can I collaborate
(12:29):
with this teacher, maybe otherstaff members, to say how do we
help our colleague so thisdoesn't become an additional
stressor on them on a dailybasis.
But you don't know that ifyou're not willing to seek
mentorship, if you're notwilling to talk to your
colleagues and say, hey, this iswhat's going on, what do you
(12:51):
think I should do versus beingthe new all?
Not willing to ask the questionhurts a lot of school leaders.
I've seen school leaders thatbarely made it past half a year
(13:14):
in the seat.
I've seen school leaders whohave the potential to be amazing
and really impacted communitynot make it past.
You know, receiving tenureBecause again in their minds
they have this thing thatthey're saying I have to be so
perfect Because I don't wantpeople to think that I don't
(13:37):
know what I'm doing, and thatimposter syndrome kicks in and
they really believe, withoutdoubting their minds, that
they're not good enough.
Again, imposter syndrome is thatnagging feeling of self doubt,
(13:58):
that voice telling you you'renot good enough despite your
accomplishments.
It's surprisingly common amongschool principals.
I felt it.
I'm sure many of you have too.
But what do you do about it?
Do not lead on Island, do notbe your own general, do not be
(14:28):
your own captain, do not be yourown lieutenant.
Do not reject.
The diversity of ideas, ofthoughts, of experiences will
really guide you.
I'm grateful for every principleI've ever had.
I'm grateful for everycolleague who's a school leader
they know I can reach out to andlean on who can now point to me
(14:49):
and say, hey, I went throughsomething very similar.
Not, I went through the samething.
But that doesn't happen.
It's not, it's not possible.
Every experience, everyhappening.
It's never identical.
It's like looking through aprism what you see is ever
(15:14):
changing, even slightly.
But however, those perspectivesespecially if you want to get
several perspectives can sharpenyour view of what you're going
through or what you're dealingwith.
To all my fellow principals andaspiring school leaders
(15:42):
grappling with imposter syndromeyou're not alone.
It's a journey ofself-discovery and growth.
Keep striving, learning and,most importantly, believing
yourself, and know that there'salways someone out there who has
(16:03):
a perspective they can sharewith you, to empower you and
help you get to the rightdecision.
Thank you for joining me today.
Have an amazing day Until nexttime.