October 17, 2024 • 53 mins
In today's special episode I explore the empowering experience of travelling alcohol-free alongside my guest, very good friend (and now housemate) Hazel Duffy. Discover how stepping away from the conventional drinking culture while traveling can lead to unexpected joys and meaningful connections with like-minded individuals. We share our personal experiences of embracing sobriety on the road and introduce an exciting upcoming sober retreat in Ibiza, inviting you to consider joining us for a unique, alcohol-free adventure next year on May 10th 2025!
Rediscovering our authentic selves through sobriety, Hazel and I discuss how early exposure to alcohol and societal pressures created a false sense of confidence. By returning to the activities once loved as children, such as dancing and public speaking, we find genuine empowerment. We highlight the importance of supportive environments and the role they play in overcoming fears, leading to fulfilling experiences like dancing sober in Ibiza and organizing retreats that foster genuine confidence and connection.
Explore the vibrant island of Ibiza with us as we reflect on the balance of peace and connection that a sober lifestyle offers. From cobbled streets and scenic hikes to the lively nightlife, we emphasize the soul-nourishing relationships formed within the sober community. With a focus on navigating social events without alcohol, we share strategies for fostering authentic self-care and communication.
Whether you're contemplating sobriety or looking to deepen your journey, this episode provides inspiration and insights to guide you toward a more fulfilling life.
Thank you for being here and for being a part of The Sober Chapters Community.
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Website for more information on Didi and her services/coaching programs available at www.soberchapters.com
FREE GUIDE: 69 Tips, Tricks & Resources to assist you during your own sober chapter available via the link on sober_chapters and via the sober chapters website.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast.
(01:06):
So today I'm joined by thelovely Hazel Duffy, who you may
have heard I think it wasepisode number eight,
potentially when I was over inLos Angeles, but I'm back in
Perth and Hazel seems to havesnuck her way into the house A
little backdoor.
So I have a new housemate.
(01:27):
I have an alcohol-freehousemate at home in Perth now,
which just actually feelsamazing.
It has.
Yeah, it's just meant to be.
We know it's meant to be.
We've definitely been put oneach other's path for a reason
and are doing so many incrediblethings together with work and
socially and community-wise herein Perth, and Hazel very kindly
(01:50):
offered to help me with thisweek's episode because yesterday
I announced the really excitingnews that I'm going to be
hosting a retreat in Ibiza nextyear.
So sober in Ibiza is going to behappening.
We're just finalizing the dates, but it's either going to be in
(02:10):
May or June, and with that Ireally wanted to chat around
kind of my experience oftraveling alcohol-free.
I guess Hazel will be talkingabout her experiences too, but I
actually asked Hazel to writeup some questions around kind of
my experience with travelingalcohol-free, because it's been
a big, big part of my life, bothas a drinker and now as an
(02:33):
alcohol-free lady.
That's what she called me.
So yeah, I have no idea howthis is gonna go or what
questions she's actually gonnaask me, but hopefully you guys
will get a lot from it in termsof you know how, how to navigate
being alcohol free whentraveling and all the magic and
all the things, and then perhapsa bit more about the retreat
(02:54):
that you might be interested injoining next year too.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So over to hazel hey guys, it is so cool to be back
on this with you all and apleasure as well to be next to
Didi, and so I guess I've keptthose uh questions a secret for
this episode.
Um, but I guess the firstquestion I would like to ask,
because I think it's reallyimportant for those of you who
(03:20):
are sober, curious and, um,maybe get the travel bug quite
often, like Didi does and myself, and may just kind of be
pondering on how am I supposedto do this, how am I supposed to
meet people along the waywithout going, actually did
drink and America?
(03:51):
Oh, you didn't live in America,you traveled America, but I
know you have traveled a lot,yeah, um, so since you've became
sober and you started to travel, like, what activities do you
find yourself doing that you can, like start to network and meet
people that are like-minded?
Um, yeah, what kind of stoodout for you around, like whether
(04:15):
it be, um, you know, littleadventures like tours yeah, okay
.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
So how have I connected?
Yeah, without alcohol, yeah,yeah, well, I guess, like what I
was thinking about the otherday when I first became
confident, I guess going awayalcohol-free and I actually did
a few breaks before I did mychapter Back during COVID times
(04:41):
I was kind of taking myself awaysolo whilst I was maybe doing
was kind of like taking myselfaway solo whilst I was maybe
like doing like a month or twooff alcohol, because we were
really lucky here in Perth wherewe had, like the borders were
really strict but we were ableto travel up the coast, so I was
going up to places likeAxemouth and Broome and taking
my journal with me, goingalcohol free and just going
(05:03):
there like into nature to kindof really be at one with myself.
I guess, and I think that was areally, really good exercise
for me to start to step outsidemy comfort zone, not only just
going on my own, but also goingalcohol free and I was thinking
about like actually, yeah, itwas.
It was daunting to start with,but also exciting.
(05:23):
So I think just going to anairport and going on a plane in
itself is super exciting andsomething that I was really
nervous about doing because forme, I always had like a glass of
prosecco at the airport bar,definitely on the flight, like
it was a massive thing from avery young age because of family
(05:44):
traditions and so I was really,really nervous about that.
But I think that it's just takena lot of like practice and
repetition and I think I'mwaffling now and answering your
question, but I guess I'm justpainting the scene of like how
it, how it evolved for me and so, yeah, I would, I would, I
guess connection started justfrom the travels, just by being
(06:08):
in the airport, like lounge,being somewhere different, on
the plane, I think I would justmake sure that I was, I guess,
kind of like connecting withpeople and being really present.
I think being alcohol freemakes you more present in
general and I think there's nocoincidence that you end up, you
know, making connections withpeople and attracting people in
(06:28):
that kind of like vibrating at abit of a higher level.
So I would always find myselfhaving conversations like you'll
be surprised, like when youstart to travel alcohol-free,
that you do just startattracting all these like
incredible synchronicities andlike aligned people.
And yeah, it's taken me backactually now I would always meet
just I think the biggest thingto remember is that we are all
(06:50):
like we are all messengers foreach other.
There is no coincidence inanything and I think when you
are present and you're notdrinking, you definitely notice
that more, like you're much moreaware of, like the
conversations that you're havingwith people, whether it's I
don't know, someone that you'rejust getting that airport like
food from, or someone on thetravel trip like you know when
you get picked up at the airportto your retreat, or whatever it
(07:12):
might be like just just beingmuch more intentional with, like
your communication.
So I think, in answer to yourquestion, actually just being
out and about alcohol free andbeing more present and being
more mindful and being more kindof like I guess, like in your
heart space and being aware ofthat, you will just attract
like-minded people justnaturally like trust me, and
(07:35):
then it just takes likerepetition and keeping on facing
those fears and, before youknow it, you'll be a really,
really confident traveler yeahas well, and I guess I'll be
more around my activities andthings that we could talk about.
Okay, yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I've chatted a lot yeah, okay, and I know that you
journal quite a lot as well.
Um, do you think maybe likesharing with your followers any
intentions that you've journaledprior going traveling to?
Like, um, yeah, to set theintention for what it is that
you're going out there for andwhat kind of people again you're
(08:13):
trying to get involved with,what kind of places you want to
go, what opportunities you wantto face and for you to be able
to grow from with your personaldevelopment?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
um, yeah, I think journaling actually is a massive
tool that's helped me on mytravels and also something
really powerful to use, I think,on your travels, because, again
, like there's something aboutgetting on a plane and having
your journal with you and havingthat sort of solitude.
Or I know maybe you'll be withyour family or your friends, but
for me I've been traveling alot on my own and so like I'll
(08:45):
sit there and get my journal outand you know, you have that
like excited, nervous kind offeeling whenever you travel,
don't you?
And so I feel like it flows alot more to be able to journal
in that state and I try and takeadvantage of that.
And I feel like one of thethings that I love so much about
going away, and especiallygoing away like out and all free
.
It's like you kind of get thatstep back from your life to kind
(09:08):
of I don't know get that likeyou have like a difference, like
you're automatically in adifferent state of mind, like it
changes your state and you getto kind of look back and reflect
on your life from the outside,like you take a step back from
it, and I think that gives youso much more creativity and like
ideas just flow so much moreand so like I will write down
kind of what I want to get outof the the trip and like, maybe,
(09:30):
things that I want to getclarity on.
Um, I'll write down sort oflike different routines and
things that I want to to dowhilst I'm away and just
generally like a lot ofgratitude.
I will write a lot of gratitudeabout the fact that I'm even
able to travel solo and you knowall the incredible things that
we're able to do in this day andage because it is just a lot
(09:51):
easier for us to still hop on aflight.
I think, especially after Covid,like I realized how lucky I was
to just be able to get away andtravel and all the freedom that
it gives me.
But I think a really good thingthat helped me whenever I went
away in the first few times,especially when I went away with
other people that were drinking, because I had a work trip once
where I went away with everyonethat was drinking and I would
(10:13):
often need breaks when peoplewere in a big group drinking and
I was the only one that wasn'twhere I'd need to go and have
like a little bit of a moment inmy hotel room and I'd go and
collect my thoughts and like,I'd write down, like how proud I
was of myself, for everythingthat I was doing and for
sticking to my why, and, youknow, for all the benefits that
I was experiencing by beingalcohol free and I think also,
(10:37):
journaling's so great whenyou're on holiday.
First thing in the morning,again for gratitude, but just
waking up, being so fresh andbeing able to wake with the
birds and sunrise, like whereveryou are in the world, and just
you know, using journaling to, Iguess, just write, write all of
that yeah, it's just a reallygood tool in so many ways oh,
(10:57):
amazing, yeah, and and then,since you are a bit of a dancing
queen, I like to go out andhave a bit of a boogie, yeah, so
I guess it's not about being aparty girl, but just about going
out, having fun and enjoyingyourself and sometimes being
sober.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
You can kind of lose that and sometimes you can find
yourself missing out on the funside of things as well, because
you can be kind of stuck andconstantly trying to, you know,
increase your personaldevelopment and everything else
but it, which is good.
But sometimes I think it isreally valuable to go and
obviously have a bit of a dance.
What I struggle with is doingthat sometimes without alcohol.
(11:42):
I mean not really, but um, Isee other people will will kind
of feel that shame around.
Um, yeah, not having a littlebit of a drink before going out
having a dance, because theyfeel a bit stiff, whereas when a
couple of drinks it's startingto loosen up and you just don't
really care.
You can just relax a bit moreand feel into the music.
(12:05):
Yeah, um, yeah, and I think ittook me a while to get to the
stage where I could dancewithout it, but I still find
myself a little bit stiff,having the anxiousness in my
mind of like being judged.
But when I was drinking Iremember just not caring, I was
really wild.
I was always dancing just likecarefree.
And then I've seen your videoson Instagram.
(12:26):
You have a little dance andeverything else and obviously
you've been sober for a muchlonger time than me.
You've danced in Ibiza likewith no alcohol, like what is it
do?
Have you always been like thator did you have to kind of do a
lot of work to kind of feelcomfortable enough doing that?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, that's such a great question, thank you.
Yeah, okay, this is going to bea long one, but I think
everything, everything that'sgoing to come out of our mouths
today, I think it's just likeflowing from the heart.
I'm just going to roll with.
You know all of it, and I thinkit's a really valid like query,
right, because I, as a littlegirl, was really really
(13:05):
confident.
I was naturally I think I wasthe youngest of four sisters and
like into everything, and I wasinto like performing arts and I
used to do like poetry, like Iwas with my parents, friends and
things like this, and I had alot of like confidence about it.
But something happened alongthe way, and I'm not really sure
exactly what, but there was acombination, I believe, of me
(13:29):
being introduced to alcohol at areally really young age,
combined with, like, maybe,hormones being a teenager,
combined with, perhaps like alittle bit of bullying at school
, and somewhere I lost thatconfidence, that true, authentic
confidence that I had.
And I found alcohol is thislike incredible, like, I guess,
(13:49):
like comfort jacket that Isuddenly found that gave me all
this extra confidence.
But it was like falseconfidence, it was like bravado,
basically, but it becameliterally my yeah, my comfort
blanket, and so I was quite likewild.
I was a party girl in my teensand 20s and so a bit like you,
like I would just like I thoughtI needed the drink to like
(14:11):
loosen up and dance and all ofthat.
And I remember going to.
So my even my older sistersthought I was naturally really,
really confident.
And I remember going to mysisters and it was her hen do in
Brighton and I reckon I wasabout 18, 19, something like
that and we went to this, uh, todo this like pole dancing class
(14:34):
and my sister and we were stonecold, sober.
It was in the middle of the dayand my sisters were like, come
on, Dee, dee, like you get upfirst, thinking that I was the
super confident one, and that Iwould just like start start
flipping around on this pole.
I freaked out completely becauseI was stone cold, sober, and I
had all this anxiety, cripplinganxiety, a bit like what I've
(14:55):
had through going through theprocess of having to face my
fears with podcasts and all ofthis stuff, with sober chapters,
and they were so shockedbecause they thought their
little sister was superconfident but it was not real
confidence.
I've lost my true confidence.
And so, in answer to yourquestion, like, since I've
stopped drinking, it's taken alot of practice.
It has taken a lot of practice.
(15:15):
But the most beautiful thingabout this and this is what I
say to a lot of my clients and Isee a massive theme with it is
that when you remove alcohol,you come back to who you truly
were as a child, and you oftenfind what lit you up as a child
but scares you most as an adultis what you end up coming back
to oh my god, I know, I knowit's so and and so I'm there,
(15:37):
you know, when I'm publicspeaking, which absolutely
scared the life out of me before, but I loved it when I was a
little girl.
And now I'm doing things likearranging ecstatic dance and
sober retreats, dancing, whichagain like scared me, yeah, like
before, but I loved it as alittle girl.
So it's kind of like I've comeback to who I always was.
(15:57):
But it takes.
It definitely takes practiceand it's baby steps and baby
steps.
And I think what you said aboutyou know, because you're coming
up to a year, I think nowaren't you?
yeah, and it and it will be justlike continuing to put yourself
in those environments where youcan like learn to sort of drop
out of your head and more intoyour body, and again, that's a
(16:17):
massively thing.
Like a massive thing I'mpassionate about with the
embodiment work is, like, youknow, feeling into our bodies,
like really really being able toflow into that.
But I think that you it'sreally important to be around
people that you trust, that aresafe, where the music's good,
like the energy's right, ifyou're in the right environment.
A bit like when I went to Ibizawith my best friends, even
(16:40):
though some of them weredrinking and only one of them
wasn't.
They're all my close friendsfrom when I was younger, so I
felt like safe enough to go outto the clubs with them and dance
and not care, and it washonestly like the most naturally
high I've ever felt in thoseclubs and that's what I'm just
so excited about bringing toeveryone on this.
(17:00):
Ibiza retreat as well, whichwe'll go into more, but I hope
that answers the question.
It's maybe the retreat as well,which you'll go into more, but
I hope that answers the question.
It's practice repetition,putting yourself out there but
in the right environment, withthe right energy, with the right
people and before you know ityou will have there's a lot of
rewiring that goes on in youryou know, with your, all the
conditions and all the you knowrewiring your.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
your neural, yeah yeah, old company, yeah yeah,
like literally, yeah, cause Iknow what.
Like when I did my coast trip,I was getting to know our group
that we were traveling with dayby day.
And the more I got to know them,the more safe I felt, more
comfortable.
It was Every morning, every day, I was dancing, not caring,
(17:41):
without alcohol, but it was onlybecause I got to know the
people around me, yeah, um.
So, yeah, it's interesting nowbecause it's something that I
really loved, and I loved as akid as well.
So how to to do that?
So I think that's really goodfor followers, for sure, for
your, your um audience, to kindof see that it just takes a
little bit of time, but, yeah,to definitely focus on doing the
(18:03):
things that you enjoy the most.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, with the right people, with the right people.
Yeah, and look, it's anotherform of growth, right, isn't it?
You know, when we think abouteverything's linked to our
nervous system and essentially,you need to sort of like take
those baby steps in thedirection that scares you a
little bit, in that kind of likesafe environment too, to be
able to expand your nervoussystem and to be able to like
(18:26):
expand your capacity to do moreof those things.
Yeah, before you know it, it'llbecome the new norm, yeah, so,
yeah, it's just just gettingamongst it, but getting amongst
it in a way that feels likemanageable to you.
Um, and, as I say, I can't likestress enough, like the
importance of it being like theright energy, the right
environment, the right people.
Um, because, yeah, I woulddefinitely still feel like
(18:49):
strained in certain oldenvironments that I used to go
to and like now I'm just a lotmore stripped of my boundaries,
where I probably don't want togo to some of the same clubs or
environments I've ever donebefore.
Like, it needs to be in theright way, definitely.
I can see that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So you went to Ibiza?
How many years ago?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
first time, um for the first time, or recently for
your first time sober?
First time sober was literallyjust in april.
For my 40th birthday, yeah, foryour 40th birthday, for my 40th
birthday, so that should havebeen.
It was like the end.
It was the last weekend of my30s and, technically, the last
weekend of my sober chapter andit was yeah, it was, honestly,
(19:39):
it was absolutely magical andtransformational for me in the
sense that I realized that, if Ican go to Ibiza and dance, we
went to Pikes, which is thisgorgeous kind of like.
It's kind of like a boutiqueclub, like it's like an, it's in
the style of like a house, likea mansion, so it's got like djs
(20:01):
in like the bathroom and djs inlike the kind of there's like a
bed in one of the rooms, butlike, not in a seedy way, like
in a beautiful way, and it wasjust, it just felt really safe
and I was able to justcompletely let loose in there
and it almost felt like aspiritual experience, because
you know, I was in this, in thisnightclub.
(20:22):
I mean, I'm happy to say that Iwent at 26 and was completely
reckless, and so people willunderstand what I'm saying here.
That was a very different highto the high that I felt this
time and this this time it waslike a natural high and it
literally almost felt like aspiritual experience.
I was completely at one with themusic, with like the energy
around me, and I was just likewow.
(20:43):
I remember just like beingpretty much reduced to tears,
thinking, if I can do this sober, why would I ever, ever, ever
go back?
Because the next day I was up,I was fresh, I was on a hike.
You know, I was able to go on ahike with my girlfriends yoga,
all the healthy things, so youget to experience all like the
(21:04):
magic that Ibiza has to offer,because there's a lot of beauty
there, there's the magicalspiritual side as well as the
party side, and so you can likedabble in both and not have any
of the horrible aftermath.
And it was just amazing.
And it was just, it was justamazing and it was so, so
special and and that's how theidea for the retreat was born-
because I want to be able tobring that to other people to
(21:26):
experience.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
You want them to see the magic that you saw, because,
yeah, I feel, yeah, yeah, I'venever heard of the insights of
what you've experienced aboutIPV.
I've just always known peopleto go there to have like a
massive piss up, essentiallylike a big party, um, yeah, and
then to hear all this beautythat I've, yeah, never went to
(21:48):
see, I'm just like super excited, yeah, and especially the like
spiritual essence to it because,yeah, you would never think
that if it's such a drinkingplace, um, yeah, and it kind of
makes me think about you know,bali is a little bit of a lot of
the time you'll see FIFOworkers or anyone actually will
(22:10):
just go over to like drink there, have a little bit of drinking
holiday and then miss out onthat magic.
So I can't imagine like, yeah,what were the things spiritually
that stood out to you aboutIbiza?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, so I've known for a while that there's another
side to it, like I had heardbecause there's, like you know,
other retreats that go on andlike yoga retreats and things
like that.
It's got this like beautiful,magical, spiritual healing side
to it.
And I had heard that but I'dnever experienced it, because
when I was 26, I just went tothe clubs.
(22:43):
It was like a four-day bender.
It was horrific.
I had like pretty much had apanic attack on the plane on the
way home, like it was awful.
Um, but I had heard so much andso when we went there, like I
went, say, one of my girlfriendswas alcohol free and the rest
were drinking, but likemoderation, moderate drinking,
you know.
And we made the you know, thepact that we would go and
(23:04):
experience everything and therewas just there was so much in
one place.
Okay, so you've got, first ofall, the history and the culture
.
It's in the Mediterranean.
I love Europe, I love theMediterranean.
It's stunning, right.
So like you've got the old town, like all the cobbled streets,
like all of that kind of likecultural side of it, like really
(23:25):
, yeah, really beautiful.
Hazel actually lived in Maltaand so did I, and we didn't know
that until recently and itwasn't at the same time.
But she'll get what I'm sayingabout the culture, because and
the air?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
is like something in the air.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, exactly, it's absolutely,
you know, just just stunningfrom that point of view.
So you've, you've got thatculture and you know we'll
definitely be incorporating likefree time and and shopping for
people to go and whatever theywant to do in their in their
free time to experience all that, because everything's so close.
That's like the really coolthing too.
(23:57):
And then you've got like allthe you know, the like the
mountains and the hiking that goup, and so you've got like all
the coasts that you can see andthat whole island experience,
which is absolutely stunning.
So we did like a couple ofhikes, so we made sure that we
did like our activities and didthat side of it and that was
absolutely beautiful.
Obviously went swimming in thesea and all of that.
One of the things that I loved,they had a hippie market.
(24:19):
Oh my goodness we found thislike gorgeous hippie market sold
all these amazing like cowboyboots and there was just like
all these crazy beautifulsynchronicities that were
happening while we were overthere.
Oh gosh, yeah, we'll have to gointo that more in a minute so
much happened, um, but thehippie market was amazing.
Like it was just such a vibethere, like everybody, like we
were all, just yeah, it was, itwas gorgeous.
(24:40):
So we did that.
I went around like so many cool, like eclectic stalls and you
know so many like different um,like artists and so much
creative stuff happening there.
So that was really magical,like coming across that.
Then you've got like you knowbeautiful restaurants
overlooking the sea, with youknow sunsets that you're gonna
have, and you know beautifulrestaurants overlooking the sea,
with you know sunsets thatyou're going to have, and like
you know all the food like,again, mediterranean food is
(25:03):
just gorgeous.
And then we did, like I say wedid the night out.
What was brilliant about thatwas that we were driving.
So another great thing aboutlike being able to go out for
free like Prue and I so Prue ismy friend, that wasn't drinking,
and it was both of our 40thcelebrations actually like we
took in turns to drive aroundthe clubs.
Just, we just did one big nightout and that was enough.
(25:24):
That was amazing because we gotto go and experience it.
So we went to pikes and then weactually went to pasha um, and
saw roger sanchez in pasha, ohmy god, and we managed to dance
till three or four in themorning, um.
But just to say to people, don'tfeel like you have to do that.
It's going to be very, veryflexible.
So, people, we're going toactually have ecstatic dance and
(25:46):
some djs and things like that.
Come to the beautiful villathat we're going to be in.
So we'll have that kind of likesafe environment.
We're going to have like awarm-up one night where people
can just do a little bit ofecstatic dance and fit into
their bodies and get used toobviously being in this space
with everybody and just easethemselves in, you know, in that
really safe, non-judgmental,playful space.
(26:07):
And then, yeah, we can havesome tea days and things like
that, and then we'll do a nightout.
But I'm going to make sure thateveryone's super comfortable
with you know what they want todo and like how long they want
to go out for, and we'll havelike different options and
things like that.
But people think it's just,yeah, so important to you know,
be able to cater for everyoneand make sure everyone has like
really gorgeous time.
But yeah, so much, so muchspiritual stuff like yoga and
(26:32):
sound healing, like there's just, there's some absolute like
master facilitators out therethat have just been living this
magical island life for yearsand there was just this whole
side to it that, you know,people just don't always know
about and hear about.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
So oh, it's very thing a little bit yeah, hazel's
coming, by the way I've alwayswanted to go, but I never wanted
to go to the party scenebecause, as much as I used to
drink, I was never really drawnto party scenes.
I just, yeah, it was notsomething that I wanted to go
there for.
But now I'm like super excitedthat I get to see it from, yeah,
(27:10):
this all new type.
So what can we expect to yeah,our daily kind of schedule to
look like at the retreats?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
yeah, so, um, I've been working with this amazing
woman called Lara Davis, who sheis, I guess, kind of like my
consultant, helping me to puteverything together with love
for this retreat, and she hasbeen on the island for years and
she runs a company called IbizaRetreat, so she's really
experienced.
She knows all these amazing likefacilitators and healers, and
(27:44):
so you know it's essentially youknow, I'm bringing the
community together and I'll befacilitating, but she'll be
doing a lot of like the deeperwork.
So it's going to be acombination.
I mean, I'm calling it abeautiful blend of peace and
party, but there's going to bemore peace than party.
I would say Like peace,connection, healing and just
(28:09):
absolute rejuvenation in thisplace.
So we're going to have likegorgeous morning circles to
introduce ourselves to the daywith, you know, like grounding
exercises.
There'll be like different oneseach day, but a mixture of like
yoga and meditation and, Ithink, like some activities on
the beach and things like that,and then lots of healing
(28:30):
modalities like breath work andsound healing, the ecstatic
dance, like I mentioned.
Um, I'm going to make surepeople get some downtime because
you know we'll all be togetherand everybody likes to have
their own space from time.
So I think the afternoons I'llmake sure that they're not jam
packed and people can, you know,either hire a car and go off or
get a taxi or organize likeexcursions.
(28:52):
It'll be really sort of freeflowing and yeah, it's just all
this beautiful purifying cuisineas well and yeah, I just, I
just want to say to anyonethat's kind of like feeling
tempted by this or is nervousthat I can promise you, having
been to a couple of alcohol-freeretreats now alone and having
(29:18):
those fears, the connectionsthat you make in those
environments are just absolutely.
They're so, so special, they'reso soul nourishing that you
know people that are on the samesame path and just being able
to kind of like leave all kindof like I don't know, just just
(29:41):
break down all the walls and allthe barriers and just be who
you truly are and be just likeable to arrive completely as
yourself and to connect in sucha deep way like it's.
It's completely transformationaland life-changing, and I have
made lifelong connections in thesober space from going to these
kind of things, and that is whyI'm just so passionate about
(30:04):
bringing this out to people inthe sober community, especially
people that perhaps haven't gotmany friends that are on the
same path and that sometimesfeel like you know they're
missing out a little bit andthey haven't yet ventured into
this world of socializing andhaving fun and all of that in
quite the same way, because Ipromise you, when you start to
experience these kind of things,you will just you'll never,
(30:27):
ever, ever, regret the decisionthat you made to remove alcohol.
It's just going to keepenhancing your life more and
more and more.
And yeah, I just want to, Ijust want to help people to see
that and experience it justcan't wait, seeing I actually
have a question that is forladies who may be maybe
questioning.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Okay, I was thinking about giving up alcohol for some
quite some time now.
I'm kind of stuck in my dailyroutine, my job, my ways.
But yeah, have that fear oflike kind of making the change
now and, yeah, maybe they feelparticularly drawn towards the
(31:10):
retreat.
What advice would you give them?
Yeah, what advice would?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
you give them.
The first thing that came to mymind when you were saying that
was follow their heart, followtheir intuition.
I really truly believe, ifyou've got that nudge and that
calling on your heart or whisperof your soul or whatever you
want to call it, that alcohol isno longer serving you, there's
a reason for that.
(31:40):
Yeah, and the reason I knowthat's because I had it.
I had it for a very long timeand I went in and out of
drinking and not drinking andtrialing it, going back and all
the things.
And I can hand on a heart sayit has absolutely just
transformed every single area ofmy life in ways that I I mean I
always knew deep down it wasgoing to make a massive
(32:02):
improvement to my life and a lotof opportunities were going to
come my way.
But I had no idea quite howmuch it was going to happen.
And for me, a massive part ofthat has been connection.
A massive part of that has beenit's hard at first.
It can be lonely at first,right, some people do fall away.
But I can just vouch for thefact that if you stick with it,
(32:25):
the right people, the bestpeople ever, will come into your
life and it will just changeeverything.
And I can say that sat here nowwith you because we only met a
year ago and you're alcohol freeand living in my house and if
it hadn't been for me giving upalcohol, I would never, ever
have met you.
Yeah, and look at what we'reexperiencing now just such a
(32:45):
gorgeous, a gorgeous, like,healthy, like just how do you
even explain our friendship?
it's like we're just rooting foreach other in every way and you
know we can have difficultconversations from the heart and
we can support each other andbe each other's cheerleader and
all of those things, but justfrom that special place, because
(33:06):
we are just both so groundedwith our lifestyles and the
things that we choose to do,yeah, so, yeah, it went off on a
tangent.
Yeah, I think if you're feelingthat way and feeling that way
for a reason, there's no doubtyou're listening to this podcast
for a reason and I just, I justwant people to know that it's
it's.
It's not about missing out,it's it's about how much.
It's not about the one thingyou lose, I suppose, or the one
(33:29):
thing that you let go of withalcohol.
It's about everything that yougain.
You gain so, so much, but justgo for it and stick with it and
and make sure that you'reputting yourself into
communities with like-mindedpeople, or at least praying or
meditating or opening yourselfup to experiencing new
connections, because it willabsolutely happen, yeah yeah,
(33:51):
and it's like not only do thechoices you make affect yourself
, but they also affect all thosepeople around you, like your
friends, your family.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
So maybe, if it's like and I know you're not
against alcohol you're just likepromoting that.
You know people want to make achoice, to have a sober chapter,
to see what that can bring intotheir life.
But the choice of doing that,into making what is it you say,
to creating your um new, foreverso I always say remove alcohol
(34:26):
for a chapter in order toreinvent forever so this is like
a great opportunity for peopleto come and to, yeah, reinvent
their new forever as a soberchapter, and that's maybe,
regardless if you are alreadysober that you just kind of
think you know what I'm going togo all in, I have these goals
(34:46):
and I want to make new pathwaysand meet new people that may be
able to help me get there,because you have a lot of yeah,
you have a good network as wellof people that you're also a
cheerleader to uplift otherpeople and their aspirations, as
long as it's service to others,um, so, yeah, it's like a safe
(35:07):
space for them to just take thatleap of faith, yeah, and to
continue so yeah awesome and toexperience like the natural
highs without anythingexternally.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
You know needing anything outside of ourselves
and I think that people whenthey've had yeah, and I think
coming away and experiencingsuccess of that kind of yeah it
will be, it'll be natural highs,like you know, we'll all be
operating at like a completelydifferent vibration because of
the fact that we're all whole,free and, like I say, those
connections will be so deep andit's just like it has such a
(35:41):
knock on effect to everyonewithin the group but then also,
like you say, going back totheir families and to their
friends and everyone around them, like it will just have such a
knock on effect in that way aswell and it's a real
rejuvenation.
And I think as well I know some.
I was talking actually to oneof my coaches recently about how
(36:02):
a lot of people sometimes feelthat it can be selfish to go
away on a retreat, especially ifthey have healing and the inner
work is that it's so importantto put yourself first,
unselfishly, because if you canfill up your own cup, then you
can be so much more of serviceto everybody else around you.
(36:29):
And I think that's that's areally important point to make,
like if you are feeling burntout or tired or this is speaking
to you but you're worried about, like I don't know, perhaps
your partner or you know, or Idon't know, being being seen as
being selfish in any way.
By going away on a retreat like,I promise you the benefits that
everyone around you will get.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Yeah, as a result, yes, yeah, be, yeah, make it so
worthwhile and leaving with likelasting connections as well,
and I guess the girls that arealready coming, like that, it's
like you're leaving with likethose forever cheerleaders, like
just kind of uplifting you,like I think sometimes, often or
not, some of our friends um maynot know how to to give us that
(37:15):
support that we need, and notin any badness to them at all,
it's just a matter of being ontwo different journeys.
So sometimes it's a matter ofjust connecting with those who
wants to go in the samedirection as you and being able
to kind of, yeah, guide eachother essentially doesn't mean
that one's more important thanthe other, but just that it's
(37:36):
going to be able to well, Ithink you have different friends
for different things don't youright, I still have a lot of my
cherished old friends, and someof them do drink and some of
them don't, and some of them areon this path and some of them
aren't, and I get differentthings and I give different
things in
Speaker 1 (37:51):
those like relationships, but I know that
for me it's been invaluableputting myself in situations
where other people are.
They just get it with the notdrinking, yeah, because it is a
big thing, it's a, it's a big, abig thing, and it's like you
just, you just get each otherwhen you don't drink, you get it
(38:12):
like it's kind of it's such alifestyle choice and a big one,
yeah that it is just such agorgeous thing to be around
people that do get it like itmakes you feel like I don't know
, it's just like less, lessalone, and transformations are
quite challenging in themselves.
So I think when you're aroundpeople that have experienced it,
yeah, and that love it as well,like it lifts you massively.
(38:35):
Yeah, yeah, definitely all rightawesome like is there anything
else like, how are you findingout?
I'm gonna turn the tablesaround now how am I?
Yeah, how are you findingalcohol free?
I would love to, because I knowwe, hazel and I did um a
podcast some of you may havelistened to it when I was over
(38:57):
in LA and Hazel was initiallyjust half sitting before she,
she moved it, yeah, lookingafter the dog, and we talked a
lot on there, but we didn't talkmassively about your sober
journey but um.
So you're coming up to a year.
I think in January you saidyeah, in December, yeah, and and
how have you found your journeyso far being alcohol free?
Speaker 2 (39:19):
yeah, I found it actually really easy, easier
than I thought.
And getting to the stage Ithink I briefly touched on that
in the last podcast that I feellike I would never be able to go
back and just for the fact thateven thinking about drinking
again or the feeling that itgives me, with the hangover or
anxiety, or the taste in myteeth or, yeah, that kind of
(39:43):
dirty feeling my teeth, I'm like, oh, I don't think I could do
that again.
And then I have a Christmasparty with work coming up and
with mining, mental health andstuff, and obviously like that's
the time where you have a fewdrinks and you get to know each
other as a team really well.
And the last big Christmas partyI had was at the mines a few
(40:04):
years ago and I was like, um,the one with the big speaker
getting everyone to do thenutbush, which is like the
traditional Aussie dance, and Iwas like getting everyone in
singing karaoke.
Like I was like the person tobring everyone in together and
like the loud one.
But since giving up alcohol I'mnot really like that like
(40:28):
because it's when I have a fewdrinks I get that confidence.
So I'm really curious to seehow I'll be able to step out of
my shell in that kind of similarenvironment again and how
comfortable, yeah, I'll feel.
So I am a bit nervous and thena part of me was like, oh, will
I just have like a drink or two?
And I'm like, no, I won't,because I know that I'll feel so
(40:49):
wrong for doing it.
For the reasons that I am doingit like, um, so yeah then.
So that's making me a bitnervous, but on terms of
everything that I've learnedwhether it be like true
psychologists doing a lot of CBT, um, and, yeah, personal
development stuff even the chatswith Didi like I swear
sometimes she's coaching me aswell like just as a friend, with
(41:11):
all of your wisdom andknowledge being able to put my
personal development intopractice is a lot easier now
that I have become alcohol free,like whether it be in
relationships, knowing thecertain patterns that I have
before and that can be anyrelationship and I knew that I
was making choices based on whatI've practiced.
(41:32):
And yeah, like, obviously I'mso far from perfect and I've
made a lot of mistakes in mylife, but I know that I'm trying
like really hard to implementsome of those practices that I'm
learning to kind of better lookafter myself rather than
self-neglect, because I foundwhen I was drinking I was
(41:55):
constantly self-neglectingmyself and and now is the time
for me to really put back myself-care and self-love from a
place of authenticity withoutalcohol, as well as learn how to
almost have conversationswithout alcohol as well as
(42:18):
networking events and everythingelse.
So it's like really it can bevery challenging, since I do go
to a lot of networking eventsnow with business and everything
, but it's like the developmentthat you learn by thinking and
trying to study what kind ofquestions can I ask to get gain
the most value of my time andtheir time and to also get the
(42:40):
outcomes of what I need tosucceed in my business or in my
personal development growth.
Yeah, so it's like when you'redrinking, you can almost just
say whatever whenever, and youcan be a bit floppy and sloppy
and it's just kind of makingthat quick connection.
But when you go in there withyou know like there's something
(43:02):
like really a really valuableconnection could be made here if
I just learn how to ask theright questions.
So it's just, I guess, settingbetter intentions going forward
and yeah, so it's definitelybeen a whirlwind of growth and,
as well, it's very different toIrish culture.
(43:25):
So I went back to Irelandrecently enough and I realised
that all we kind of have in myfavourite city is loads of bars
and everyone's outside drinking,which is obviously like I'm not
against drinking either, likeit's just I don't drink anymore.
So I found it really like, oh't, I'm not against drinking
either, like it's just I don'tdrink anymore.
So I found it really like, oh,what am I going to do?
Like, because you know all ofthe castles are closed at this
(43:47):
time and I'm just in Galway butI don't drink.
And yeah, it was like a fewdifferent things of like trying
to see what I could possibly do,but yeah, it was just really
interesting, because leaninginto new things leans to growth,
which leans to the directionthat you've always kind of
wanted to go into as well, andI've been able to make way for
(44:12):
new hobbies, like I took up likesinging lessons again a bit.
I need to go back again, butyeah, just um, as well as diving
into, arrive as you are,authentic as you are, like
something that's really deeprooted into my soul of like
business that hazel's birthingat the moment birthing, yeah,
and it's like, yeah, and justbeing able to learn more about
(44:34):
nurturing relationships and umother areas of my life that,
like I would have probably nothas given as much attention.
Like yeah, too, I think, becauseI used to travel a lot, like
yourself, I used to make friendsgoing out, um, yeah, and like
we'd kind of go out together asgroups or like beach parties or
(44:58):
like pool parties, stuff likethat, and um, always kind of
less conversation, more kind ofdancing, and then like opening
up, whatever.
But now I'm finding myselfaround a whole new whirlwind of
people that open up, justbecause that's the thing to do.
Like, um, I've never felt sosupported my entire life, but
(45:22):
people that I have in my lifenow it's incredible.
Um, like I've always obviouslybeen supported by loved ones and
stuff, but now it's just likean extra blanket of people
around me and if I was slightlyfalling, I knew that one of them
would just push me back upagain, like waking up.
I think I shared on my Instagramthe last day.
(45:42):
I had like four messages frompeople like praying for me,
wishing me a good day, or likejust incredible motivational
videos, and I was like, how am Ithis lucky, like I definitely
wouldn't have had that if I justif I just kind of continued
where I was going and I wouldn'thave been able to face all of
my damage or trauma.
(46:04):
Let's say I don't know why Idid this.
Because it is trauma, because Iwouldn't have realized I had
any, because I would be blindedby it, I would still be going.
So being able to like face mytrauma and, yeah, kind of heal,
that trauma as well set me up.
So I've got gained a lot, a lotyeah, there's so much isn't
(46:25):
there.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
There is a lot, there is a lot, and I think that you
know we've talked about it acouple of times where you know,
because it wasn't like this big,huge thing with you, where
you're like, right, I'm gonnaremove alcohol and all the
things, you did it more fromlike health reasons, I think
you've kind of, yeah, it's beenlike an easy transition, but
then actually like even justhearing you talk, then like it's
had a huge impact in so manyways.
(46:46):
Yeah, I feel like you kind ofalmost like guided a new, like
subconsciously, to give it upwithout even really realizing it
, because all the incrediblestuff that you've had happen
lately and the way that you'vebeen able to handle it and, as
you're talking there, I was likecoming up to me was things like
awareness.
You have so much awareness nowand then you know, like, with
(47:06):
the growth and the networkingand all of that, that's like
authentic confidence that you'rebuilding, which is another big
part of it, right, like you'reconstantly growing and evolving
by building that true deeprooted, authentic confidence
that no one could ever, yeah,take away from you, like all of
that's happening.
So, true, yeah, and yeah, likethe healing is a thing, because
if you don't have the awarenesslike I think it takes you
(47:28):
stepping away from your past andyou know, it was a bit like
what I was talking about when wefly out of the country like you
need to take a step away andhave space to look back at
something, to be able torecognize it for what it was,
and then having that awarenessand recognition of it is how
we're then able to work throughit yeah, and so, yeah, thanks
for all of that hazel, becauseall of that aligned so much with
(47:50):
how I feel about removing theboots.
Yeah, yeah, and sure it willresonate with all of you guys
and, yeah, it's been great justdoing this.
So I think we're probablyoccasionally going to do this,
to be honest, because we're bothour ball free, we're both very
much involved in each other'sbusinesses and I think it feels
(48:11):
really nice sitting in mykitchen.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
I'm really like living with it.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
We're glad to hear this has resonated with you all
and I know there's quite a fewIrish listeners.
I see that on the Spotify,which I think is really cool,
and so hopefully you'veresonated with a fellow Irish
lady here too.
And yeah, as I mentioned,hazel's going to be at the
(48:37):
retreat.
I'm going to be announcing thedates next week.
Anyone, honestly, if any of youare nervous, got any queries.
There's no pressure to sign upor anything.
Please book in a call with mevia my website.
You can literally just fill outa form, press book a call and
you and I can have a chat aboutwhether it's something you might
want to do and I can put yourmind at ease around anything or
(48:59):
you know, whatever that lookslike.
I just really can't wait for asmany of you as possible to
experience this, this magicaltrip that it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
yeah yes, I really called to ask something, yeah
yeah and so it's coming up tochristmas october and christmas
can be kind of a tough time fora lot of people, like a lot of
financial pressures, maybe aloss of family members and stuff
like that.
And I would also say, since meand duty have kind of given up
(49:32):
alcohol, we started to realize,um, when people are using
alcohol as a coping mechanism,so maybe keep an eye out on your
friends and family members.
If they are going through atough time and maybe be drinking
a little bit more than theyshould, and yeah, kind of
(49:53):
instead of like kind ofaccepting that this is how
they're going to cope with thesituation they're going through,
maybe look at it from theperspective of what are they
trying to escape from?
What are they trying to drinkdown, swallow down, suppress
down, rather than facing andmaybe take action of being that
friend or that loved one thatkind of sits down with them and
(50:15):
asks in the conversation if,whether or not they're okay and
if they'd like to talk aboutwhat they're going through as
well as maybe they're not okay,to kind of find the right
gateway for help with them andwhether that's like a local um,
yeah, a local helpline and yeah,just reaching out to a
professional that will be ableto help them going forward.
(50:37):
Um, yeah, because, yeah, youhave the power and the.
All you need is to have thatgood feeling to kind of
recognize that that is someonethat's not doing so well.
So, yeah, I just felt likesharing that a little bit.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
Thank you yeah, it's beautiful okay yeah, thank you,
hazel.
I'm sure that's really at homewith a few people and it's so
true, like I said earlier, likewe're all messengers for each
other and if you do have thatnudge that you're, you know,
being guided to support one ofyour friends or something, you
(51:13):
just, and you also just don'tknow what a difference you can
make to even strangers as well,by being kind and taking care
and asking how they are or evenjust smiling at people.
Yeah, down the street, that's abig a big thing.
So thank you, gorgeous, forsharing your beautiful heart and
different ideas and, yeah,we'll do this again, soonishing
(51:36):
you all a gorgeous week Bye.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode of the Sober
Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
(51:57):
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on, and if
you send me a screenshot ofthat review to dd at
soberchapterscom, I will put youinto the mix of winning a free
one-on-one coaching session withme.
If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
(52:18):
follow along on Instagram it'sSober underscore Chapters You'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a Sober Chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching
group, coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
(52:40):
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from youif you have any feedback or you
need any guidance or you haveanything at all you'd like to
reach out to me about, thenplease do email me at dd, at
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I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
(53:02):
I can.
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast.
(01:06):
So today I'm joined by thelovely Hazel Duffy, who you may
have heard I think it wasepisode number eight,
potentially when I was over inLos Angeles, but I'm back in
Perth and Hazel seems to havesnuck her way into the house A
little backdoor.
So I have a new housemate.
(01:27):
I have an alcohol-freehousemate at home in Perth now,
which just actually feelsamazing.
It has.
Yeah, it's just meant to be.
We know it's meant to be.
We've definitely been put oneach other's path for a reason
and are doing so many incrediblethings together with work and
socially and community-wise herein Perth, and Hazel very kindly
(01:50):
offered to help me with thisweek's episode because yesterday
I announced the really excitingnews that I'm going to be
hosting a retreat in Ibiza nextyear.
So sober in Ibiza is going to behappening.
We're just finalizing the dates, but it's either going to be in
(02:10):
May or June, and with that Ireally wanted to chat around
kind of my experience oftraveling alcohol-free.
I guess Hazel will be talkingabout her experiences too, but I
actually asked Hazel to writeup some questions around kind of
my experience with travelingalcohol-free, because it's been
a big, big part of my life, bothas a drinker and now as an
(02:33):
alcohol-free lady.
That's what she called me.
So yeah, I have no idea howthis is gonna go or what
questions she's actually gonnaask me, but hopefully you guys
will get a lot from it in termsof you know how, how to navigate
being alcohol free whentraveling and all the magic and
all the things, and then perhapsa bit more about the retreat
(02:54):
that you might be interested injoining next year too.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
So over to hazel hey guys, it is so cool to be back
on this with you all and apleasure as well to be next to
Didi, and so I guess I've keptthose uh questions a secret for
this episode.
Um, but I guess the firstquestion I would like to ask,
because I think it's reallyimportant for those of you who
(03:20):
are sober, curious and, um,maybe get the travel bug quite
often, like Didi does and myself, and may just kind of be
pondering on how am I supposedto do this, how am I supposed to
meet people along the waywithout going, actually did
drink and America?
(03:51):
Oh, you didn't live in America,you traveled America, but I
know you have traveled a lot,yeah, um, so since you've became
sober and you started to travel, like, what activities do you
find yourself doing that you can, like start to network and meet
people that are like-minded?
Um, yeah, what kind of stoodout for you around, like whether
(04:15):
it be, um, you know, littleadventures like tours yeah, okay
.
Speaker 1 (04:20):
So how have I connected?
Yeah, without alcohol, yeah,yeah, well, I guess, like what I
was thinking about the otherday when I first became
confident, I guess going awayalcohol-free and I actually did
a few breaks before I did mychapter Back during COVID times
(04:41):
I was kind of taking myself awaysolo whilst I was maybe doing
was kind of like taking myselfaway solo whilst I was maybe
like doing like a month or twooff alcohol, because we were
really lucky here in Perth wherewe had, like the borders were
really strict but we were ableto travel up the coast, so I was
going up to places likeAxemouth and Broome and taking
my journal with me, goingalcohol free and just going
(05:03):
there like into nature to kindof really be at one with myself.
I guess, and I think that was areally, really good exercise
for me to start to step outsidemy comfort zone, not only just
going on my own, but also goingalcohol free and I was thinking
about like actually, yeah, itwas.
It was daunting to start with,but also exciting.
(05:23):
So I think just going to anairport and going on a plane in
itself is super exciting andsomething that I was really
nervous about doing because forme, I always had like a glass of
prosecco at the airport bar,definitely on the flight, like
it was a massive thing from avery young age because of family
(05:44):
traditions and so I was really,really nervous about that.
But I think that it's just takena lot of like practice and
repetition and I think I'mwaffling now and answering your
question, but I guess I'm justpainting the scene of like how
it, how it evolved for me and so, yeah, I would, I would, I
guess connection started justfrom the travels, just by being
(06:08):
in the airport, like lounge,being somewhere different, on
the plane, I think I would justmake sure that I was, I guess,
kind of like connecting withpeople and being really present.
I think being alcohol freemakes you more present in
general and I think there's nocoincidence that you end up, you
know, making connections withpeople and attracting people in
(06:28):
that kind of like vibrating at abit of a higher level.
So I would always find myselfhaving conversations like you'll
be surprised, like when youstart to travel alcohol-free,
that you do just startattracting all these like
incredible synchronicities andlike aligned people.
And yeah, it's taken me backactually now I would always meet
just I think the biggest thingto remember is that we are all
(06:50):
like we are all messengers foreach other.
There is no coincidence inanything and I think when you
are present and you're notdrinking, you definitely notice
that more, like you're much moreaware of, like the
conversations that you're havingwith people, whether it's I
don't know, someone that you'rejust getting that airport like
food from, or someone on thetravel trip like you know when
you get picked up at the airportto your retreat, or whatever it
(07:12):
might be like just just beingmuch more intentional with, like
your communication.
So I think, in answer to yourquestion, actually just being
out and about alcohol free andbeing more present and being
more mindful and being more kindof like I guess, like in your
heart space and being aware ofthat, you will just attract
like-minded people justnaturally like trust me, and
(07:35):
then it just takes likerepetition and keeping on facing
those fears and, before youknow it, you'll be a really,
really confident traveler yeahas well, and I guess I'll be
more around my activities andthings that we could talk about.
Okay, yeah, there's a lot.
Speaker 2 (07:50):
I've chatted a lot yeah, okay, and I know that you
journal quite a lot as well.
Um, do you think maybe likesharing with your followers any
intentions that you've journaledprior going traveling to?
Like, um, yeah, to set theintention for what it is that
you're going out there for andwhat kind of people again you're
(08:13):
trying to get involved with,what kind of places you want to
go, what opportunities you wantto face and for you to be able
to grow from with your personaldevelopment?
Speaker 1 (08:25):
um, yeah, I think journaling actually is a massive
tool that's helped me on mytravels and also something
really powerful to use, I think,on your travels, because, again
, like there's something aboutgetting on a plane and having
your journal with you and havingthat sort of solitude.
Or I know maybe you'll be withyour family or your friends, but
for me I've been traveling alot on my own and so like I'll
(08:45):
sit there and get my journal outand you know, you have that
like excited, nervous kind offeeling whenever you travel,
don't you?
And so I feel like it flows alot more to be able to journal
in that state and I try and takeadvantage of that.
And I feel like one of thethings that I love so much about
going away, and especiallygoing away like out and all free
.
It's like you kind of get thatstep back from your life to kind
(09:08):
of I don't know get that likeyou have like a difference, like
you're automatically in adifferent state of mind, like it
changes your state and you getto kind of look back and reflect
on your life from the outside,like you take a step back from
it, and I think that gives youso much more creativity and like
ideas just flow so much moreand so like I will write down
kind of what I want to get outof the the trip and like, maybe,
(09:30):
things that I want to getclarity on.
Um, I'll write down sort oflike different routines and
things that I want to to dowhilst I'm away and just
generally like a lot ofgratitude.
I will write a lot of gratitudeabout the fact that I'm even
able to travel solo and you knowall the incredible things that
we're able to do in this day andage because it is just a lot
(09:51):
easier for us to still hop on aflight.
I think, especially after Covid,like I realized how lucky I was
to just be able to get away andtravel and all the freedom that
it gives me.
But I think a really good thingthat helped me whenever I went
away in the first few times,especially when I went away with
other people that were drinking, because I had a work trip once
where I went away with everyonethat was drinking and I would
(10:13):
often need breaks when peoplewere in a big group drinking and
I was the only one that wasn'twhere I'd need to go and have
like a little bit of a moment inmy hotel room and I'd go and
collect my thoughts and like,I'd write down, like how proud I
was of myself, for everythingthat I was doing and for
sticking to my why, and, youknow, for all the benefits that
I was experiencing by beingalcohol free and I think also,
(10:37):
journaling's so great whenyou're on holiday.
First thing in the morning,again for gratitude, but just
waking up, being so fresh andbeing able to wake with the
birds and sunrise, like whereveryou are in the world, and just
you know, using journaling to, Iguess, just write, write all of
that yeah, it's just a reallygood tool in so many ways oh,
(10:57):
amazing, yeah, and and then,since you are a bit of a dancing
queen, I like to go out andhave a bit of a boogie, yeah, so
I guess it's not about being aparty girl, but just about going
out, having fun and enjoyingyourself and sometimes being
sober.
Speaker 2 (11:16):
You can kind of lose that and sometimes you can find
yourself missing out on the funside of things as well, because
you can be kind of stuck andconstantly trying to, you know,
increase your personaldevelopment and everything else
but it, which is good.
But sometimes I think it isreally valuable to go and
obviously have a bit of a dance.
What I struggle with is doingthat sometimes without alcohol.
(11:42):
I mean not really, but um, Isee other people will will kind
of feel that shame around.
Um, yeah, not having a littlebit of a drink before going out
having a dance, because theyfeel a bit stiff, whereas when a
couple of drinks it's startingto loosen up and you just don't
really care.
You can just relax a bit moreand feel into the music.
(12:05):
Yeah, um, yeah, and I think ittook me a while to get to the
stage where I could dancewithout it, but I still find
myself a little bit stiff,having the anxiousness in my
mind of like being judged.
But when I was drinking Iremember just not caring, I was
really wild.
I was always dancing just likecarefree.
And then I've seen your videoson Instagram.
(12:26):
You have a little dance andeverything else and obviously
you've been sober for a muchlonger time than me.
You've danced in Ibiza likewith no alcohol, like what is it
do?
Have you always been like thator did you have to kind of do a
lot of work to kind of feelcomfortable enough doing that?
Speaker 1 (12:44):
Yeah, that's such a great question, thank you.
Yeah, okay, this is going to bea long one, but I think
everything, everything that'sgoing to come out of our mouths
today, I think it's just likeflowing from the heart.
I'm just going to roll with.
You know all of it, and I thinkit's a really valid like query,
right, because I, as a littlegirl, was really really
(13:05):
confident.
I was naturally I think I wasthe youngest of four sisters and
like into everything, and I wasinto like performing arts and I
used to do like poetry, like Iwas with my parents, friends and
things like this, and I had alot of like confidence about it.
But something happened alongthe way, and I'm not really sure
exactly what, but there was acombination, I believe, of me
(13:29):
being introduced to alcohol at areally really young age,
combined with, like, maybe,hormones being a teenager,
combined with, perhaps like alittle bit of bullying at school
, and somewhere I lost thatconfidence, that true, authentic
confidence that I had.
And I found alcohol is thislike incredible, like, I guess,
(13:49):
like comfort jacket that Isuddenly found that gave me all
this extra confidence.
But it was like falseconfidence, it was like bravado,
basically, but it becameliterally my yeah, my comfort
blanket, and so I was quite likewild.
I was a party girl in my teensand 20s and so a bit like you,
like I would just like I thoughtI needed the drink to like
(14:11):
loosen up and dance and all ofthat.
And I remember going to.
So my even my older sistersthought I was naturally really,
really confident.
And I remember going to mysisters and it was her hen do in
Brighton and I reckon I wasabout 18, 19, something like
that and we went to this, uh, todo this like pole dancing class
(14:34):
and my sister and we were stonecold, sober.
It was in the middle of the dayand my sisters were like, come
on, Dee, dee, like you get upfirst, thinking that I was the
super confident one, and that Iwould just like start start
flipping around on this pole.
I freaked out completely becauseI was stone cold, sober, and I
had all this anxiety, cripplinganxiety, a bit like what I've
(14:55):
had through going through theprocess of having to face my
fears with podcasts and all ofthis stuff, with sober chapters,
and they were so shockedbecause they thought their
little sister was superconfident but it was not real
confidence.
I've lost my true confidence.
And so, in answer to yourquestion, like, since I've
stopped drinking, it's taken alot of practice.
It has taken a lot of practice.
(15:15):
But the most beautiful thingabout this and this is what I
say to a lot of my clients and Isee a massive theme with it is
that when you remove alcohol,you come back to who you truly
were as a child, and you oftenfind what lit you up as a child
but scares you most as an adultis what you end up coming back
to oh my god, I know, I knowit's so and and so I'm there,
(15:37):
you know, when I'm publicspeaking, which absolutely
scared the life out of me before, but I loved it when I was a
little girl.
And now I'm doing things likearranging ecstatic dance and
sober retreats, dancing, whichagain like scared me, yeah, like
before, but I loved it as alittle girl.
So it's kind of like I've comeback to who I always was.
(15:57):
But it takes.
It definitely takes practiceand it's baby steps and baby
steps.
And I think what you said aboutyou know, because you're coming
up to a year, I think nowaren't you?
yeah, and it and it will be justlike continuing to put yourself
in those environments where youcan like learn to sort of drop
out of your head and more intoyour body, and again, that's a
(16:17):
massively thing.
Like a massive thing I'mpassionate about with the
embodiment work is, like, youknow, feeling into our bodies,
like really really being able toflow into that.
But I think that you it'sreally important to be around
people that you trust, that aresafe, where the music's good,
like the energy's right, ifyou're in the right environment.
A bit like when I went to Ibizawith my best friends, even
(16:40):
though some of them weredrinking and only one of them
wasn't.
They're all my close friendsfrom when I was younger, so I
felt like safe enough to go outto the clubs with them and dance
and not care, and it washonestly like the most naturally
high I've ever felt in thoseclubs and that's what I'm just
so excited about bringing toeveryone on this.
(17:00):
Ibiza retreat as well, whichwe'll go into more, but I hope
that answers the question.
It's maybe the retreat as well,which you'll go into more, but
I hope that answers the question.
It's practice repetition,putting yourself out there but
in the right environment, withthe right energy, with the right
people and before you know ityou will have there's a lot of
rewiring that goes on in youryou know, with your, all the
conditions and all the you knowrewiring your.
What's the word I'm looking for?
Speaker 2 (17:21):
your neural, yeah yeah, old company, yeah yeah,
like literally, yeah, cause Iknow what.
Like when I did my coast trip,I was getting to know our group
that we were traveling with dayby day.
And the more I got to know them,the more safe I felt, more
comfortable.
It was Every morning, every day, I was dancing, not caring,
(17:41):
without alcohol, but it was onlybecause I got to know the
people around me, yeah, um.
So, yeah, it's interesting nowbecause it's something that I
really loved, and I loved as akid as well.
So how to to do that?
So I think that's really goodfor followers, for sure, for
your, your um audience, to kindof see that it just takes a
little bit of time, but, yeah,to definitely focus on doing the
(18:03):
things that you enjoy the most.
Speaker 1 (18:05):
Yeah, with the right people, with the right people.
Yeah, and look, it's anotherform of growth, right, isn't it?
You know, when we think abouteverything's linked to our
nervous system and essentially,you need to sort of like take
those baby steps in thedirection that scares you a
little bit, in that kind of likesafe environment too, to be
able to expand your nervoussystem and to be able to like
(18:26):
expand your capacity to do moreof those things.
Yeah, before you know it, it'llbecome the new norm, yeah, so,
yeah, it's just just gettingamongst it, but getting amongst
it in a way that feels likemanageable to you.
Um, and, as I say, I can't likestress enough, like the
importance of it being like theright energy, the right
environment, the right people.
Um, because, yeah, I woulddefinitely still feel like
(18:49):
strained in certain oldenvironments that I used to go
to and like now I'm just a lotmore stripped of my boundaries,
where I probably don't want togo to some of the same clubs or
environments I've ever donebefore.
Like, it needs to be in theright way, definitely.
I can see that, yeah.
Speaker 2 (19:10):
So you went to Ibiza?
How many years ago?
Speaker 1 (19:14):
first time, um for the first time, or recently for
your first time sober?
First time sober was literallyjust in april.
For my 40th birthday, yeah, foryour 40th birthday, for my 40th
birthday, so that should havebeen.
It was like the end.
It was the last weekend of my30s and, technically, the last
weekend of my sober chapter andit was yeah, it was, honestly,
(19:39):
it was absolutely magical andtransformational for me in the
sense that I realized that, if Ican go to Ibiza and dance, we
went to Pikes, which is thisgorgeous kind of like.
It's kind of like a boutiqueclub, like it's like an, it's in
the style of like a house, likea mansion, so it's got like djs
(20:01):
in like the bathroom and djs inlike the kind of there's like a
bed in one of the rooms, butlike, not in a seedy way, like
in a beautiful way, and it wasjust, it just felt really safe
and I was able to justcompletely let loose in there
and it almost felt like aspiritual experience, because
you know, I was in this, in thisnightclub.
(20:22):
I mean, I'm happy to say that Iwent at 26 and was completely
reckless, and so people willunderstand what I'm saying here.
That was a very different highto the high that I felt this
time and this this time it waslike a natural high and it
literally almost felt like aspiritual experience.
I was completely at one with themusic, with like the energy
around me, and I was just likewow.
(20:43):
I remember just like beingpretty much reduced to tears,
thinking, if I can do this sober, why would I ever, ever, ever
go back?
Because the next day I was up,I was fresh, I was on a hike.
You know, I was able to go on ahike with my girlfriends yoga,
all the healthy things, so youget to experience all like the
(21:04):
magic that Ibiza has to offer,because there's a lot of beauty
there, there's the magicalspiritual side as well as the
party side, and so you can likedabble in both and not have any
of the horrible aftermath.
And it was just amazing.
And it was just, it was justamazing and it was so, so
special and and that's how theidea for the retreat was born-
because I want to be able tobring that to other people to
(21:26):
experience.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
You want them to see the magic that you saw, because,
yeah, I feel, yeah, yeah, I'venever heard of the insights of
what you've experienced aboutIPV.
I've just always known peopleto go there to have like a
massive piss up, essentiallylike a big party, um, yeah, and
then to hear all this beautythat I've, yeah, never went to
(21:48):
see, I'm just like super excited, yeah, and especially the like
spiritual essence to it because,yeah, you would never think
that if it's such a drinkingplace, um, yeah, and it kind of
makes me think about you know,bali is a little bit of a lot of
the time you'll see FIFOworkers or anyone actually will
(22:10):
just go over to like drink there, have a little bit of drinking
holiday and then miss out onthat magic.
So I can't imagine like, yeah,what were the things spiritually
that stood out to you aboutIbiza?
Speaker 1 (22:22):
Yeah, so I've known for a while that there's another
side to it, like I had heardbecause there's, like you know,
other retreats that go on andlike yoga retreats and things
like that.
It's got this like beautiful,magical, spiritual healing side
to it.
And I had heard that but I'dnever experienced it, because
when I was 26, I just went tothe clubs.
(22:43):
It was like a four-day bender.
It was horrific.
I had like pretty much had apanic attack on the plane on the
way home, like it was awful.
Um, but I had heard so much andso when we went there, like I
went, say, one of my girlfriendswas alcohol free and the rest
were drinking, but likemoderation, moderate drinking,
you know.
And we made the you know, thepact that we would go and
(23:04):
experience everything and therewas just there was so much in
one place.
Okay, so you've got, first ofall, the history and the culture
.
It's in the Mediterranean.
I love Europe, I love theMediterranean.
It's stunning, right.
So like you've got the old town, like all the cobbled streets,
like all of that kind of likecultural side of it, like really
(23:25):
, yeah, really beautiful.
Hazel actually lived in Maltaand so did I, and we didn't know
that until recently and itwasn't at the same time.
But she'll get what I'm sayingabout the culture, because and
the air?
Speaker 2 (23:35):
is like something in the air.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, exactly, it's absolutely,
you know, just just stunningfrom that point of view.
So you've, you've got thatculture and you know we'll
definitely be incorporating likefree time and and shopping for
people to go and whatever theywant to do in their in their
free time to experience all that, because everything's so close.
That's like the really coolthing too.
(23:57):
And then you've got like allthe you know, the like the
mountains and the hiking that goup, and so you've got like all
the coasts that you can see andthat whole island experience,
which is absolutely stunning.
So we did like a couple ofhikes, so we made sure that we
did like our activities and didthat side of it and that was
absolutely beautiful.
Obviously went swimming in thesea and all of that.
One of the things that I loved,they had a hippie market.
(24:19):
Oh my goodness we found thislike gorgeous hippie market sold
all these amazing like cowboyboots and there was just like
all these crazy beautifulsynchronicities that were
happening while we were overthere.
Oh gosh, yeah, we'll have to gointo that more in a minute so
much happened, um, but thehippie market was amazing.
Like it was just such a vibethere, like everybody, like we
were all, just yeah, it was, itwas gorgeous.
(24:40):
So we did that.
I went around like so many cool, like eclectic stalls and you
know so many like different um,like artists and so much
creative stuff happening there.
So that was really magical,like coming across that.
Then you've got like you knowbeautiful restaurants
overlooking the sea, with youknow sunsets that you're gonna
have, and you know beautifulrestaurants overlooking the sea,
with you know sunsets thatyou're going to have, and like
you know all the food like,again, mediterranean food is
(25:03):
just gorgeous.
And then we did, like I say wedid the night out.
What was brilliant about thatwas that we were driving.
So another great thing aboutlike being able to go out for
free like Prue and I so Prue ismy friend, that wasn't drinking,
and it was both of our 40thcelebrations actually like we
took in turns to drive aroundthe clubs.
Just, we just did one big nightout and that was enough.
(25:24):
That was amazing because we gotto go and experience it.
So we went to pikes and then weactually went to pasha um, and
saw roger sanchez in pasha, ohmy god, and we managed to dance
till three or four in themorning, um.
But just to say to people, don'tfeel like you have to do that.
It's going to be very, veryflexible.
So, people, we're going toactually have ecstatic dance and
(25:46):
some djs and things like that.
Come to the beautiful villathat we're going to be in.
So we'll have that kind of likesafe environment.
We're going to have like awarm-up one night where people
can just do a little bit ofecstatic dance and fit into
their bodies and get used toobviously being in this space
with everybody and just easethemselves in, you know, in that
really safe, non-judgmental,playful space.
(26:07):
And then, yeah, we can havesome tea days and things like
that, and then we'll do a nightout.
But I'm going to make sure thateveryone's super comfortable
with you know what they want todo and like how long they want
to go out for, and we'll havelike different options and
things like that.
But people think it's just,yeah, so important to you know,
be able to cater for everyoneand make sure everyone has like
really gorgeous time.
But yeah, so much, so muchspiritual stuff like yoga and
(26:32):
sound healing, like there's just, there's some absolute like
master facilitators out therethat have just been living this
magical island life for yearsand there was just this whole
side to it that, you know,people just don't always know
about and hear about.
Speaker 2 (26:47):
So oh, it's very thing a little bit yeah, hazel's
coming, by the way I've alwayswanted to go, but I never wanted
to go to the party scenebecause, as much as I used to
drink, I was never really drawnto party scenes.
I just, yeah, it was notsomething that I wanted to go
there for.
But now I'm like super excitedthat I get to see it from, yeah,
(27:10):
this all new type.
So what can we expect to yeah,our daily kind of schedule to
look like at the retreats?
Speaker 1 (27:21):
yeah, so, um, I've been working with this amazing
woman called Lara Davis, who sheis, I guess, kind of like my
consultant, helping me to puteverything together with love
for this retreat, and she hasbeen on the island for years and
she runs a company called IbizaRetreat, so she's really
experienced.
She knows all these amazing likefacilitators and healers, and
(27:44):
so you know it's essentially youknow, I'm bringing the
community together and I'll befacilitating, but she'll be
doing a lot of like the deeperwork.
So it's going to be acombination.
I mean, I'm calling it abeautiful blend of peace and
party, but there's going to bemore peace than party.
I would say Like peace,connection, healing and just
(28:09):
absolute rejuvenation in thisplace.
So we're going to have likegorgeous morning circles to
introduce ourselves to the daywith, you know, like grounding
exercises.
There'll be like different oneseach day, but a mixture of like
yoga and meditation and, Ithink, like some activities on
the beach and things like that,and then lots of healing
(28:30):
modalities like breath work andsound healing, the ecstatic
dance, like I mentioned.
Um, I'm going to make surepeople get some downtime because
you know we'll all be togetherand everybody likes to have
their own space from time.
So I think the afternoons I'llmake sure that they're not jam
packed and people can, you know,either hire a car and go off or
get a taxi or organize likeexcursions.
(28:52):
It'll be really sort of freeflowing and yeah, it's just all
this beautiful purifying cuisineas well and yeah, I just, I
just want to say to anyonethat's kind of like feeling
tempted by this or is nervousthat I can promise you, having
been to a couple of alcohol-freeretreats now alone and having
(29:18):
those fears, the connectionsthat you make in those
environments are just absolutely.
They're so, so special, they'reso soul nourishing that you
know people that are on the samesame path and just being able
to kind of like leave all kindof like I don't know, just just
(29:41):
break down all the walls and allthe barriers and just be who
you truly are and be just likeable to arrive completely as
yourself and to connect in sucha deep way like it's.
It's completely transformationaland life-changing, and I have
made lifelong connections in thesober space from going to these
kind of things, and that is whyI'm just so passionate about
(30:04):
bringing this out to people inthe sober community, especially
people that perhaps haven't gotmany friends that are on the
same path and that sometimesfeel like you know they're
missing out a little bit andthey haven't yet ventured into
this world of socializing andhaving fun and all of that in
quite the same way, because Ipromise you, when you start to
experience these kind of things,you will just you'll never,
(30:27):
ever, ever, regret the decisionthat you made to remove alcohol.
It's just going to keepenhancing your life more and
more and more.
And yeah, I just want to, Ijust want to help people to see
that and experience it justcan't wait, seeing I actually
have a question that is forladies who may be maybe
questioning.
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Okay, I was thinking about giving up alcohol for some
quite some time now.
I'm kind of stuck in my dailyroutine, my job, my ways.
But yeah, have that fear oflike kind of making the change
now and, yeah, maybe they feelparticularly drawn towards the
(31:10):
retreat.
What advice would you give them?
Yeah, what advice would?
Speaker 1 (31:19):
you give them.
The first thing that came to mymind when you were saying that
was follow their heart, followtheir intuition.
I really truly believe, ifyou've got that nudge and that
calling on your heart or whisperof your soul or whatever you
want to call it, that alcohol isno longer serving you, there's
a reason for that.
(31:40):
Yeah, and the reason I knowthat's because I had it.
I had it for a very long timeand I went in and out of
drinking and not drinking andtrialing it, going back and all
the things.
And I can hand on a heart sayit has absolutely just
transformed every single area ofmy life in ways that I I mean I
always knew deep down it wasgoing to make a massive
(32:02):
improvement to my life and a lotof opportunities were going to
come my way.
But I had no idea quite howmuch it was going to happen.
And for me, a massive part ofthat has been connection.
A massive part of that has beenit's hard at first.
It can be lonely at first,right, some people do fall away.
But I can just vouch for thefact that if you stick with it,
(32:25):
the right people, the bestpeople ever, will come into your
life and it will just changeeverything.
And I can say that sat here nowwith you because we only met a
year ago and you're alcohol freeand living in my house and if
it hadn't been for me giving upalcohol, I would never, ever
have met you.
Yeah, and look at what we'reexperiencing now just such a
(32:45):
gorgeous, a gorgeous, like,healthy, like just how do you
even explain our friendship?
it's like we're just rooting foreach other in every way and you
know we can have difficultconversations from the heart and
we can support each other andbe each other's cheerleader and
all of those things, but justfrom that special place, because
(33:06):
we are just both so groundedwith our lifestyles and the
things that we choose to do,yeah, so, yeah, it went off on a
tangent.
Yeah, I think if you're feelingthat way and feeling that way
for a reason, there's no doubtyou're listening to this podcast
for a reason and I just, I justwant people to know that it's
it's.
It's not about missing out,it's it's about how much.
It's not about the one thingyou lose, I suppose, or the one
(33:29):
thing that you let go of withalcohol.
It's about everything that yougain.
You gain so, so much, but justgo for it and stick with it and
and make sure that you'reputting yourself into
communities with like-mindedpeople, or at least praying or
meditating or opening yourselfup to experiencing new
connections, because it willabsolutely happen, yeah yeah,
(33:51):
and it's like not only do thechoices you make affect yourself
, but they also affect all thosepeople around you, like your
friends, your family.
Speaker 2 (34:01):
So maybe, if it's like and I know you're not
against alcohol you're just likepromoting that.
You know people want to make achoice, to have a sober chapter,
to see what that can bring intotheir life.
But the choice of doing that,into making what is it you say,
to creating your um new, foreverso I always say remove alcohol
(34:26):
for a chapter in order toreinvent forever so this is like
a great opportunity for peopleto come and to, yeah, reinvent
their new forever as a soberchapter, and that's maybe,
regardless if you are alreadysober that you just kind of
think you know what I'm going togo all in, I have these goals
(34:46):
and I want to make new pathwaysand meet new people that may be
able to help me get there,because you have a lot of yeah,
you have a good network as wellof people that you're also a
cheerleader to uplift otherpeople and their aspirations, as
long as it's service to others,um, so, yeah, it's like a safe
(35:07):
space for them to just take thatleap of faith, yeah, and to
continue so yeah awesome and toexperience like the natural
highs without anythingexternally.
Speaker 1 (35:19):
You know needing anything outside of ourselves
and I think that people whenthey've had yeah, and I think
coming away and experiencingsuccess of that kind of yeah it
will be, it'll be natural highs,like you know, we'll all be
operating at like a completelydifferent vibration because of
the fact that we're all whole,free and, like I say, those
connections will be so deep andit's just like it has such a
(35:41):
knock on effect to everyonewithin the group but then also,
like you say, going back totheir families and to their
friends and everyone around them, like it will just have such a
knock on effect in that way aswell and it's a real
rejuvenation.
And I think as well I know some.
I was talking actually to oneof my coaches recently about how
(36:02):
a lot of people sometimes feelthat it can be selfish to go
away on a retreat, especially ifthey have healing and the inner
work is that it's so importantto put yourself first,
unselfishly, because if you canfill up your own cup, then you
can be so much more of serviceto everybody else around you.
(36:29):
And I think that's that's areally important point to make,
like if you are feeling burntout or tired or this is speaking
to you but you're worried about, like I don't know, perhaps
your partner or you know, or Idon't know, being being seen as
being selfish in any way.
By going away on a retreat like,I promise you the benefits that
everyone around you will get.
Speaker 2 (36:49):
Yeah, as a result, yes, yeah, be, yeah, make it so
worthwhile and leaving with likelasting connections as well,
and I guess the girls that arealready coming, like that, it's
like you're leaving with likethose forever cheerleaders, like
just kind of uplifting you,like I think sometimes, often or
not, some of our friends um maynot know how to to give us that
(37:15):
support that we need, and notin any badness to them at all,
it's just a matter of being ontwo different journeys.
So sometimes it's a matter ofjust connecting with those who
wants to go in the samedirection as you and being able
to kind of, yeah, guide eachother essentially doesn't mean
that one's more important thanthe other, but just that it's
(37:36):
going to be able to well, Ithink you have different friends
for different things don't youright, I still have a lot of my
cherished old friends, and someof them do drink and some of
them don't, and some of them areon this path and some of them
aren't, and I get differentthings and I give different
things in
Speaker 1 (37:51):
those like relationships, but I know that
for me it's been invaluableputting myself in situations
where other people are.
They just get it with the notdrinking, yeah, because it is a
big thing, it's a, it's a big, abig thing, and it's like you
just, you just get each otherwhen you don't drink, you get it
(38:12):
like it's kind of it's such alifestyle choice and a big one,
yeah that it is just such agorgeous thing to be around
people that do get it like itmakes you feel like I don't know
, it's just like less, lessalone, and transformations are
quite challenging in themselves.
So I think when you're aroundpeople that have experienced it,
yeah, and that love it as well,like it lifts you massively.
(38:35):
Yeah, yeah, definitely all rightawesome like is there anything
else like, how are you findingout?
I'm gonna turn the tablesaround now how am I?
Yeah, how are you findingalcohol free?
I would love to, because I knowwe, hazel and I did um a
podcast some of you may havelistened to it when I was over
(38:57):
in LA and Hazel was initiallyjust half sitting before she,
she moved it, yeah, lookingafter the dog, and we talked a
lot on there, but we didn't talkmassively about your sober
journey but um.
So you're coming up to a year.
I think in January you saidyeah, in December, yeah, and and
how have you found your journeyso far being alcohol free?
Speaker 2 (39:19):
yeah, I found it actually really easy, easier
than I thought.
And getting to the stage Ithink I briefly touched on that
in the last podcast that I feellike I would never be able to go
back and just for the fact thateven thinking about drinking
again or the feeling that itgives me, with the hangover or
anxiety, or the taste in myteeth or, yeah, that kind of
(39:43):
dirty feeling my teeth, I'm like, oh, I don't think I could do
that again.
And then I have a Christmasparty with work coming up and
with mining, mental health andstuff, and obviously like that's
the time where you have a fewdrinks and you get to know each
other as a team really well.
And the last big Christmas partyI had was at the mines a few
(40:04):
years ago and I was like, um,the one with the big speaker
getting everyone to do thenutbush, which is like the
traditional Aussie dance, and Iwas like getting everyone in
singing karaoke.
Like I was like the person tobring everyone in together and
like the loud one.
But since giving up alcohol I'mnot really like that like
(40:28):
because it's when I have a fewdrinks I get that confidence.
So I'm really curious to seehow I'll be able to step out of
my shell in that kind of similarenvironment again and how
comfortable, yeah, I'll feel.
So I am a bit nervous and thena part of me was like, oh, will
I just have like a drink or two?
And I'm like, no, I won't,because I know that I'll feel so
(40:49):
wrong for doing it.
For the reasons that I am doingit like, um, so yeah then.
So that's making me a bitnervous, but on terms of
everything that I've learnedwhether it be like true
psychologists doing a lot of CBT, um, and, yeah, personal
development stuff even the chatswith Didi like I swear
sometimes she's coaching me aswell like just as a friend, with
(41:11):
all of your wisdom andknowledge being able to put my
personal development intopractice is a lot easier now
that I have become alcohol free,like whether it be in
relationships, knowing thecertain patterns that I have
before and that can be anyrelationship and I knew that I
was making choices based on whatI've practiced.
(41:32):
And yeah, like, obviously I'mso far from perfect and I've
made a lot of mistakes in mylife, but I know that I'm trying
like really hard to implementsome of those practices that I'm
learning to kind of better lookafter myself rather than
self-neglect, because I foundwhen I was drinking I was
(41:55):
constantly self-neglectingmyself and and now is the time
for me to really put back myself-care and self-love from a
place of authenticity withoutalcohol, as well as learn how to
almost have conversationswithout alcohol as well as
(42:18):
networking events and everythingelse.
So it's like really it can bevery challenging, since I do go
to a lot of networking eventsnow with business and everything
, but it's like the developmentthat you learn by thinking and
trying to study what kind ofquestions can I ask to get gain
the most value of my time andtheir time and to also get the
(42:40):
outcomes of what I need tosucceed in my business or in my
personal development growth.
Yeah, so it's like when you'redrinking, you can almost just
say whatever whenever, and youcan be a bit floppy and sloppy
and it's just kind of makingthat quick connection.
But when you go in there withyou know like there's something
(43:02):
like really a really valuableconnection could be made here if
I just learn how to ask theright questions.
So it's just, I guess, settingbetter intentions going forward
and yeah, so it's definitelybeen a whirlwind of growth and,
as well, it's very different toIrish culture.
(43:25):
So I went back to Irelandrecently enough and I realised
that all we kind of have in myfavourite city is loads of bars
and everyone's outside drinking,which is obviously like I'm not
against drinking either, likeit's just I don't drink anymore.
So I found it really like, oh't, I'm not against drinking
either, like it's just I don'tdrink anymore.
So I found it really like, oh,what am I going to do?
Like, because you know all ofthe castles are closed at this
(43:47):
time and I'm just in Galway butI don't drink.
And yeah, it was like a fewdifferent things of like trying
to see what I could possibly do,but yeah, it was just really
interesting, because leaninginto new things leans to growth,
which leans to the directionthat you've always kind of
wanted to go into as well, andI've been able to make way for
(44:12):
new hobbies, like I took up likesinging lessons again a bit.
I need to go back again, butyeah, just um, as well as diving
into, arrive as you are,authentic as you are, like
something that's really deeprooted into my soul of like
business that hazel's birthingat the moment birthing, yeah,
and it's like, yeah, and justbeing able to learn more about
(44:34):
nurturing relationships and umother areas of my life that,
like I would have probably nothas given as much attention.
Like yeah, too, I think, becauseI used to travel a lot, like
yourself, I used to make friendsgoing out, um, yeah, and like
we'd kind of go out together asgroups or like beach parties or
(44:58):
like pool parties, stuff likethat, and um, always kind of
less conversation, more kind ofdancing, and then like opening
up, whatever.
But now I'm finding myselfaround a whole new whirlwind of
people that open up, justbecause that's the thing to do.
Like, um, I've never felt sosupported my entire life, but
(45:22):
people that I have in my lifenow it's incredible.
Um, like I've always obviouslybeen supported by loved ones and
stuff, but now it's just likean extra blanket of people
around me and if I was slightlyfalling, I knew that one of them
would just push me back upagain, like waking up.
I think I shared on my Instagramthe last day.
(45:42):
I had like four messages frompeople like praying for me,
wishing me a good day, or likejust incredible motivational
videos, and I was like, how am Ithis lucky, like I definitely
wouldn't have had that if I justif I just kind of continued
where I was going and I wouldn'thave been able to face all of
my damage or trauma.
(46:04):
Let's say I don't know why Idid this.
Because it is trauma, because Iwouldn't have realized I had
any, because I would be blindedby it, I would still be going.
So being able to like face mytrauma and, yeah, kind of heal,
that trauma as well set me up.
So I've got gained a lot, a lotyeah, there's so much isn't
(46:25):
there.
Speaker 1 (46:25):
There is a lot, there is a lot, and I think that you
know we've talked about it acouple of times where you know,
because it wasn't like this big,huge thing with you, where
you're like, right, I'm gonnaremove alcohol and all the
things, you did it more fromlike health reasons, I think
you've kind of, yeah, it's beenlike an easy transition, but
then actually like even justhearing you talk, then like it's
had a huge impact in so manyways.
(46:46):
Yeah, I feel like you kind ofalmost like guided a new, like
subconsciously, to give it upwithout even really realizing it
, because all the incrediblestuff that you've had happen
lately and the way that you'vebeen able to handle it and, as
you're talking there, I was likecoming up to me was things like
awareness.
You have so much awareness nowand then you know, like, with
(47:06):
the growth and the networkingand all of that, that's like
authentic confidence that you'rebuilding, which is another big
part of it, right, like you'reconstantly growing and evolving
by building that true deeprooted, authentic confidence
that no one could ever, yeah,take away from you, like all of
that's happening.
So, true, yeah, and yeah, likethe healing is a thing, because
if you don't have the awarenesslike I think it takes you
(47:28):
stepping away from your past andyou know, it was a bit like
what I was talking about when wefly out of the country like you
need to take a step away andhave space to look back at
something, to be able torecognize it for what it was,
and then having that awarenessand recognition of it is how
we're then able to work throughit yeah, and so, yeah, thanks
for all of that hazel, becauseall of that aligned so much with
(47:50):
how I feel about removing theboots.
Yeah, yeah, and sure it willresonate with all of you guys
and, yeah, it's been great justdoing this.
So I think we're probablyoccasionally going to do this,
to be honest, because we're bothour ball free, we're both very
much involved in each other'sbusinesses and I think it feels
(48:11):
really nice sitting in mykitchen.
Speaker 2 (48:13):
I'm really like living with it.
Speaker 1 (48:15):
We're glad to hear this has resonated with you all
and I know there's quite a fewIrish listeners.
I see that on the Spotify,which I think is really cool,
and so hopefully you'veresonated with a fellow Irish
lady here too.
And yeah, as I mentioned,hazel's going to be at the
(48:37):
retreat.
I'm going to be announcing thedates next week.
Anyone, honestly, if any of youare nervous, got any queries.
There's no pressure to sign upor anything.
Please book in a call with mevia my website.
You can literally just fill outa form, press book a call and
you and I can have a chat aboutwhether it's something you might
want to do and I can put yourmind at ease around anything or
(48:59):
you know, whatever that lookslike.
I just really can't wait for asmany of you as possible to
experience this, this magicaltrip that it's going to be.
Speaker 2 (49:09):
yeah yes, I really called to ask something, yeah
yeah and so it's coming up tochristmas october and christmas
can be kind of a tough time fora lot of people, like a lot of
financial pressures, maybe aloss of family members and stuff
like that.
And I would also say, since meand duty have kind of given up
(49:32):
alcohol, we started to realize,um, when people are using
alcohol as a coping mechanism,so maybe keep an eye out on your
friends and family members.
If they are going through atough time and maybe be drinking
a little bit more than theyshould, and yeah, kind of
(49:53):
instead of like kind ofaccepting that this is how
they're going to cope with thesituation they're going through,
maybe look at it from theperspective of what are they
trying to escape from?
What are they trying to drinkdown, swallow down, suppress
down, rather than facing andmaybe take action of being that
friend or that loved one thatkind of sits down with them and
(50:15):
asks in the conversation if,whether or not they're okay and
if they'd like to talk aboutwhat they're going through as
well as maybe they're not okay,to kind of find the right
gateway for help with them andwhether that's like a local um,
yeah, a local helpline and yeah,just reaching out to a
professional that will be ableto help them going forward.
(50:37):
Um, yeah, because, yeah, youhave the power and the.
All you need is to have thatgood feeling to kind of
recognize that that is someonethat's not doing so well.
So, yeah, I just felt likesharing that a little bit.
Speaker 1 (50:53):
Thank you yeah, it's beautiful okay yeah, thank you,
hazel.
I'm sure that's really at homewith a few people and it's so
true, like I said earlier, likewe're all messengers for each
other and if you do have thatnudge that you're, you know,
being guided to support one ofyour friends or something, you
(51:13):
just, and you also just don'tknow what a difference you can
make to even strangers as well,by being kind and taking care
and asking how they are or evenjust smiling at people.
Yeah, down the street, that's abig a big thing.
So thank you, gorgeous, forsharing your beautiful heart and
different ideas and, yeah,we'll do this again, soonishing
(51:36):
you all a gorgeous week Bye.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode of the Sober
Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
(51:57):
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on, and if
you send me a screenshot ofthat review to dd at
soberchapterscom, I will put youinto the mix of winning a free
one-on-one coaching session withme.
If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
(52:18):
follow along on Instagram it'sSober underscore Chapters You'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a Sober Chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching
group, coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
(52:40):
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from youif you have any feedback or you
need any guidance or you haveanything at all you'd like to
reach out to me about, thenplease do email me at dd, at
soberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
(53:02):
I can.
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