November 29, 2024 • 45 mins
Imagine a world where the weight of societal pressures and conditioning no longer dictates your relationship with alcohol. Join us as we welcome Dakota Blackstone, an inspiring embodiment coach and new mom, who shares her personal journey of embracing a sober chapter and her initial goal of doing 90 days!
Dakota talks about her experiences leading up to her 90-day milestone, exploring all the changes that have come with sobriety, motherhood, and emotional healing. Her story is one of transformation and empowerment, offering hope and motivation to anyone considering a sober lifestyle.
Together with Dakota, we explore the ripple effects of living an alcohol-free life on self-awareness and emotional resilience. From confronting fears of inadequacy to breaking free from people-pleasing tendencies, the journey to sobriety is not just about abstaining from alcohol but about rediscovering oneself. Dakota sheds light on the importance of setting boundaries and understanding the deep-rooted societal norms around drinking, which opens up avenues for more authentic connections with ourselves and others. Get ready to discover how rewiring our neural pathways can lead to a life that’s genuinely fulfilling, without the haze of hangovers.
As we navigate through the complexities of maintaining sobriety in social settings, Dakota shares the importance of finding community and confidence along the way. We discuss the launch of the SOBER CHAPTERS 100 Program which Didi has created for Jan 12th along with a huge festive discount when using Code SOBERSAVE369 before Dec 5th 2024. Link for Sober Chapters 100 here: https://www.soberchapters.com/sober-chapters-100
You can find Dakota on instagram at dakota.blackstone and her podcast is mysticmamas.podcast Didi and Dakota recorded an epic episode back in september all about the spiritual benefits of being alcohol free.
Thank you for being here and for being a part of The Sober Chapters Community.
LINKS/RESOURCES
Follow Didi @ sober_chapters on Instagram
Website for more information on Didi and her services/coaching programs available at www.soberchapters.com
FREE GUIDE: 69 Tips, Tricks & Resources to assist you during your own sober chapter available via the link on sober_chapters and via the sober chapters website.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you, so grab yourself your favorite
cuppa and come join me in asafe space to listen, to share
(00:46):
and to feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast, and
(01:08):
today I'm joined by the gorgeousDakota Blackstone, who I had
the pleasure of meeting withinour embodiment training last
year, and Dakota actuallyinvited me onto her own podcast
a few months ago and she wasvery much sober curious at the
time and we had a really bigchat through about all the
benefits of sobriety and soberchapters and everything.
(01:31):
And she's actually nowembarking on her own sober
chapter, so I was super excitedto get her onto the show.
I thought it'd be great for youall to hear somebody that's
embarked on the journey fairly,fairly recently.
So thank you, dakota, andwelcome.
How are you doing recently?
So, thank you, dakota, andwelcome.
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
today.
Thank you, yeah, thank you.
I'm so excited to be here.
Thank you for having me on.
I'm doing really well.
I've been eager to hop on thislittle podcast with you.
I know I keep rescheduling onyou.
I really apologize about that.
There's so much going on in mylife, but I'm glad that we're
here all in divine timing.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, I was gonna say , as we just said before, it's
always divine timing and, yeah,I can't wait to dive into all
the things with you this morning.
It was probably evening overthere with you as well.
Yeah, so how about we startwith just firstly introduce
yourself and what you've been upto and everything, and then I
guess your decision to come likeon a sober journey, I guess as
(02:28):
well.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah, absolutely okay .
So just to introduce myself,I'm Dakota.
I'm an embodiment coach.
I actually did a coachingcertification this year with
Didi and that's how we got toknow each other.
Within that, we just graduatedin that.
I think that was in August, if,if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And since then I've been, youknow, taking clients here and
(02:50):
there.
I just hosted my first likemini container.
It was a week long.
I gave embodiment practices andlessons each day and then we
all got together and like, did arage ritual, which is so
beautiful and I feel deeplycalled to continue to do for my
community and for anyone who iswilling to jump into something
like that.
And I'm also right now hostingretreats with people here in my
(03:13):
hometown.
And, yeah, that's kind of what'sgoing on in my life currently.
I'm loving it.
I'm really enjoying this soberchapter of my life as well.
I did want to mention that ithas been.
I think it's going to be 80days tomorrow.
So, yeah, I'm super excited.
(03:34):
I'm really proud of myselfbecause I've tried to do this
multiple times and it's thelongest I've gone is 50 days,
which is so amazing.
And also, I've always wanted togo 90 days because, out of all
of the books that I have read inthe podcasts I've listened to,
they always say like this 90 dayis like this mark of, I guess,
(03:55):
like realization of you notneeding it, or maybe just like
there's like this veil thatlifts for you.
And so I'm 10 days away fromthat.
I'm super excited.
I did say that initially, thatI was just going to give
myself'm.
10 days away from that.
I'm super excited.
I did say that initially, thatI was just going to give myself
the 90 days, but I truly think Idon't really see a point in
stopping the journey.
So so yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yay, wow, thank you.
Yeah, that's so.
I love it.
I love having somebody onthat's going through that
journey and in that kind of likefairly early stage of it, like
what, when you say you likeyou've done days before, like
what do you feel is differentthis time?
Like about this over chapter,what's helped you to go further
along, do you think?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
yeah.
So I would say there's a.
I would say there's a fewthings, so I'll just I'll list
them all, one being I'm a momthis time around and, you know,
I'm actually at a better placetoo.
I tried it actually the firsttime when I did the 50 days when
I was in my postpartum journeyvery early on, and now I'm
(04:53):
further along.
I've done more healing work,I've dove really into my
emotions and no longersuppressing those, and that's
been very helpful for me tocontinue this journey and not be
afraid to continue to dive intothose.
And then also, I really want tosay you, because we've won,
we've had this like podcast andI wanted to make sure I'd had
(05:15):
been sober when I came on here.
Not that I think you wouldjudge me or anything like that,
but it was like a little senseof like accountability and so,
yeah, you are a big, big part ofthis journey too, so thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Oh, that's gorgeous.
Thank you, Lovely.
Yeah, Like I'm super proud ofyou and it's look, as we know,
there's never any coincidences,right, and we had this kind of
super special connection.
And then you know me comingonto your podcast when I was in
LA.
I don't think you had plannedto necessarily definitely go
alcohol free either.
I had to, and it's kind of eventhe fact that you got me on
(05:47):
there and you were so curiousand I think I asked you a couple
of questions in your podcastwhich, by the way, if you get a
chance, guys, I'll list it inthe show notes because it was a
really, really great one and itwas kind of almost like I think
you came off that and wentstraight into it.
And, yeah, it's so good to hearand it's so good to hear that
you gave yourself that challengeof the 90 days too and that
(06:09):
you're already feeling like youmay continue.
And I love that you'vementioned about, you know,
diving into your emotions deeperthis time, because that's a
huge part of my message thatwhen you remove alcohol, you get
to do that deeper healing likeit really does accelerate that.
So how do you think that hasbeen for you?
Like, what has that felt likefor the audience that are
(06:30):
listening that may be curiousand that have been avoiding that
deeper healing work?
What has that looked like foryou?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah.
So to put it like short andsweet, and I'll go more into it,
it's been very liberating.
Actually, I think for a longtime I didn't understand why I
continued to go back to drinking, like over and over again, even
after all of the information Iknew.
Because, again, I did myresearch, I read books, I
listened to podcasts, I listenedto multiple audio books.
(06:58):
It just felt like this timearound with me like really
feeling my emotions, and thatliberation that I felt from
doing so has made it more easyfor me to just keep going and
diving into them, um, but I willsay that it's also, you know,
it's it's really helped me notfeel so resistant to going into
(07:19):
them as well.
So, like with us doing thecoaching, certification, um, and
us learning all thatinformation, it really helped me
just to like understand thatour emotions aren't something
that we have to run from.
They're actually something hereto guide us to a deeper path to
ourselves, a deeper path towhat we are meant to do in this
life and to really justunderstand ourselves on a deeper
(07:41):
level.
And so, yeah, I don't know,just really the constant
liberation that I would feeleach time I would feel my
emotions was more of aexcitement to come back to them,
even when they were scary.
But I know I just talked to youabout how I'm going through a
lot right now and me diving intomy emotions is almost like the
last thing I want to do rightnow.
(08:02):
Almost like the last thing Iwant to do right now.
I am doing it, just not as oftenas I used to, and so I'm like
utilizing, um, other tools, Iguess other tools and modalities
that I'm realizing that uharen't, as you know, um, I'm
trying to think of words here.
Okay, so I'll just be frankwith your audience, but I've
(08:24):
definitely been using a lot ofscrolling lately.
Okay, so I'll just be frankwith your audience, but I've
definitely been using a lot ofscrolling lately.
Okay, we got a lot going onover here in America, and so
I've definitely been using a lotof scrolling and watching TV
and haven't been diving more sointo my emotions.
But when I do that, I can tellthe difference, right, I can
tell emotionally that I'm just,you know, not feeling as
liberated or free or light andhappy as I normally do, compared
(08:47):
to when I do take the time todive into my emotions daily.
It really is a completedifference, because when you're
able to go into the heavieremotions, then you start being
this open.
Well, for the lighter emotionstoo, like the gratitude, the joy
, the enlightenment.
It's like this full circlemoment.
So I forgot what your questionwas, but hopefully that answered
(09:08):
it.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, no, that answered loads of it.
There was so much that I wantedto go through as you were
talking then, and thanks forbeing so open about how you're
looking at other ways topotentially numb.
But I think we have to giveourselves grace right on this
journey, huge grace, and youknow grace and compassion and,
as people say, you know you haveto be able to love yourself
(09:32):
into healing.
You can't beat yourself up intohealing and I think the
difference is with you, perhapswatching tv or scrolling and
things like that.
There's not the added likenegative of drinking alcohol on
top right, you have theawareness.
You know you're doing that.
We all need to.
You know give ourselves a breaksometimes, right, whatever that
looks like.
You don't then have whatevergoes on in your body and your
(09:54):
brain and all of that andwhatever consequences may come
of a big boozy night or the nextday to deal with.
So I think, even though it's aform of numbing, like it's
nowhere near, yeah, you knowlike the same.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Thank you for saying that.
Yeah, yeah, no, you're so true.
I mean that's so true because,gosh, just the way I would feel
each time I would drink, andjust the remorse and the guilt I
would feel from drinking thenext day, or even the anxiety
that you get.
It's so much like everyonehates me.
What did I do?
What did I say?
(10:26):
I shouldn't have done that.
It's.
There's just so much pressureand so it's a different kind of
numbing and it's not quite asextreme as I feel like taking a
drink is.
So I do appreciate you sayingthat.
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Again, it's like givingyourself grace, because that is
a it's, it's a lesser root of Idon't know.
We need to say evil really, butyou know what?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I mean it's.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
It's better of the bad things, for sure yeah and um
, and it enables us to come backfrom it quicker too right,
there's not like a recover phasefrom it and like the aftermath
and everything like we say, um,yeah, no, that's, that's
incredible, um, so it'sinteresting as well.
What came up for me when youwere chatting was about the
(11:10):
embodiment work that you weredoing and how I think that's
helped you on your journey and,interestingly, like I had done
all the kind of like lifecoaching stuff all the alcohol
free coaching stuff for themindset work, and was loving
that you know from like a coupleof years ago when I started my
sober chapter.
But when I saw the embodimentwork, that was like a real
missing piece for me because Iknew that it was all about
(11:31):
feeling to heal essentially andreally getting into our body.
And I've been doing a lot ofembodiment work.
I have a mentor over in theStates.
That's very much about uscoming back to our feminine and
being in our hearts and ourbodies.
I was really passionate aboutit.
So then when I saw theembodiment certification, I was
like, yeah, this is perfectbecause it aligns so well with
(11:52):
being alcohol free.
Right, isn't it just such agreat opportunity to?
Because I think with me and Italk about this like alcohol did
really keep me in my head more,like it definitely kept me in
my head, definitely disconnectedme from my body.
It definitely disconnected mefrom my feminine, from my heart,
from my true nature, and so Ithink they kind of like
interlink completely and it'syeah, that's been really
(12:15):
powerful and it'll be reallypowerful with all the work that
you're doing and your, yourclients, are gonna benefit so
much from you going reallythrough that and feeling all of
your emotions and helping themto do the same.
Like, how has that impacted?
So in the last 80 days thatyou've you've been alcohol free,
like yeah, what positives haveyou seen from that point of view
?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
yeah, definitely.
I feel like I kind of mentionedone here already, but I
definitely wanted to speak moreon it.
It's just like like thingsaren't as scary anymore.
Like I I am, I have the abilityto go after things that once
scared me.
Um, like shitless excuse mylanguage, sorry, I don't know
but like things that scared me,like things that in the past, I
(12:56):
would you know, set myself up todo.
And then I would get you know,I would tell myself cause this
is a real life example Like Iwould do these things right.
I've always been very ambitiousand goal-driven and determined.
But I would get to this pointwhere I'd be like, okay, I'm not
going to drink this weekend,because I know if I drink, then
(13:16):
I'm going to either go as far asblacking out or just hating
myself the next day.
I didn't want to do it, but thenI would get a call from a
friend like, hey, come out.
And it was so like easy for meto just, you know, go out.
And then it would start thecycle over where it was.
Just like I could not get outof that and I felt like I wasn't
progressing because I was stuckin that pattern and in that
cycle, but because I'm able to,like, feel my feelings now it
really helps me, you know, notbe afraid of feeling the
(13:39):
emotions that come with mewanting to drink.
So, like, what's underneath that?
Like why do I feel the need tohave to now say yes to my friend
who invited me out when I madethe commitment to myself to not
go and you know, not that Ireally get invited out much
anymore but like this is justlike a small example and really
what I would like dive under.
That is like okay, there couldbe people pleasing there for me
(14:01):
which I'm no longer feeling,which I then can help my clients
out with.
Right, or okay, it could be menot feeling good enough.
Okay, well, I can feel throughthat emotion.
I can also help my clients feelthrough that emotion.
It's like just really allowingme to uncover all of these root
feelings and limiting beliefsthat I was holding onto that I
now get to work with otherpeople on.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I love that.
I love all of that becausethat's amazing.
I love that.
I love all of that becausethat's what it's about.
There's so we have so much youknow, we have so many beliefs
around why we need to drink orwhat alcohol gives us that
essentially just aren't true.
And when we can like pick awayat those and, you know, witness
the growth and the magic withoutthose, in our lives too.
And then all the conditioningaround.
(14:42):
You know, so much societalpressure isn't there, like
cultural, societal, likeeverything.
And I think that once you cankind of like step away from that
and realize that it is allexactly that, it's just
conditioning, it's false beliefs, and then rewrite your own
story or rewrite your chapter.
You know it's amazing.
And then you gain this evidence,don't you this evidence and
(15:02):
this trust within yourself, andthen you gain this evidence,
don't you this evidence and thistrust within yourself.
It's like you end up with thislike toolbox, of like, yeah, of
tools essentially, that you cango back to, so that, like, when
a difficult time comes up whereyou're presented with like
something that's going to temptyou, you know that you've got it
.
And the longer that goes on,you're also literally rewiring
your neural pathways as well,and you know I can honestly say,
(15:25):
like you know, it depends whereyou go with this journey, but
I'm at about two and a halfyears now.
And I don't even really countanymore because it's just like
you know, I did my chapter,which is 22 months, and now it's
just like this is life for mealcohol free.
I love it and I couldn'tgenuinely not think of anything
worse than having a drink now.
(15:45):
And I do actually throw myselfinto certain situations which I
didn't for a while, because Ifelt a little bit like oh, I
don't know, but again it's kindof like slowly, slowly, like
facing your fears and steppingoutside your comfort zone and
going to things and now I canjust go and have a great time
without it.
But I think we are really goodwith our boundaries, with that
(16:06):
and like we choose things thatwe want to do that genuinely
light us up and you find whatgenuinely lights you up as well,
right, rather than just goingand sitting with people that
maybe you didn't have that muchof a connection with before.
So, yeah, I can see you nodding, so yeah, yeah, no, 100.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
No, I agree with you on all of that.
And, man, there's one thingthat you really touched on that
I wanted to say and I'mforgetting, but yeah, just like
you know, not feeling the needto do it.
Oh, setting the boundaries.
And once you like, continue toset the boundaries, they get
easier, and I guess I have beeninvited out by my sister and
stuff like that, and it's justmade it so much easier for me to
say no, because I feel like,out of everyone to ask me to
(16:44):
like drink or hang out and havea couple of drinks, is the
people that it's hardest for meto say no to are my family,
because they were such aninfluence in my life this whole
time that, like, drinking wasokay and it was just something
that you did.
And so it's almost like when Iget around them, I mean, as you
know right, our triggers and ourwounds that come up are mainly
from our family, and so it comesup and it's almost like I do
(17:07):
have more of this like eagernessto drink just because
everyone's doing it around me.
But I also have drawn theseboundaries now and I've also
like I more so, look at what Iwould rather have than like that
instant gratification, right?
What would I rather say?
That I'm 80, 90 days sober?
Or would I rather say that Ihad a drink and now I have to
start over, or whatever?
(17:28):
It is right For me it's.
I am proud of myself and itfeels good to be proud of myself
.
And when I have moments of beinghard on myself because you know
we all do, which that is onething that has really come up
for me lately is like how hard Ican be on myself, which also
makes sense as to why I woulddrink all the time.
If I'm too hard on myself,nothing is ever enough.
(17:49):
That perfectionism, theimposter syndrome, comes up for
you and so and so, yeah, that isone thing, but I forgot where I
was going with that.
But, yeah, so I've just, I'vejust realized a lot, and me
being able to set theseboundaries has been so helpful.
So you, touching on that, yeah,that's another thing that's
come out of all of this.
And then me also really beingable to stay in my passion and
(18:10):
my purpose and in alignment withmy spiritual growth and my
healing, rather than having to Imean, I'm not saying you have
to start over each time you havea drink, but for me sometimes
it would get that bad that Ijust felt like I was going
backwards and I wasn't reallyprogressing Right.
And so, yeah, I just feel likeI'm more on the up and up, even
though you know it's not linear,but I'm more so like doing this
(18:33):
you know what I mean, ratherthan I know your listeners can't
hear or see me, but I'm likemoving my hand up linear.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So, um, yeah, so, yeah, I think it's just really
helpful to be able to draw thoseboundaries and personal
policies for myself.
Yeah, yeah, it's amazing, andyou know it is.
It is something to be really,really proud of, and you know
that that pride seeps into everysingle other area of our life.
Right and it's, you know, itends up having this just
compound effect like yes, it'snever linear.
It ends up having this justcompound effect.
Like, yes, it's never linear,and sometimes we feel like we're
(19:06):
going backwards, even thoughwe're always going forwards,
because that's another thing,right, someone I was talking to
someone recently about this likesometimes when you're on that
growth and healing journey, youcan feel like you know a
curveball comes at you, you gettriggered, activated, all these
things come up and you thinkyou've gone backwards, but
actually the reframe of that isno, you're only ever given, like
what you're capable ofreceiving and working through
(19:28):
right so it's just a deeperlevel of growth to go through,
which can feel really, reallyuncomfortable, and it's always
moving forwards and you'realways making progress.
And then the other things inyour life stay consistent and
you keep moving forwards withthat too.
So you know, look at youbirthing this beautiful business
into the world.
I can really relate with howmuch that's going to have helped
(19:51):
you, because there is no way,dakota, that I would be doing
any of this if I was stilldrinking.
Like seriously, I wasabsolutely petrified of being
seen.
I was petrified of doing anInstagram video only just over
18 months ago.
I was, even though I was like,super confident in my corporate
(20:11):
world.
I that wasn't about me, right.
So I would like go and presentand do client meetings and you
know I've worked all over theworld in that space.
But when it came to sharing mystory and being vulnerable about
my sobriety journey and showingthe true me, it was literally
crippling.
And only just over a year ago,I was a guest on my first
podcast and I literally had toput myself in the fetal position
(20:34):
in bed.
Afterwards my nervous systemwas shot.
But then, that was like thisdisconfirming experience to my
nervous system of what I'mcapable of, and then that's
enabled me to keep taking thesebaby steps, slowly and
consistently, because I don'thave hangovers in the way and I
can see like you're doing somuch with your business in that
same way, like the growth andthe acceleration of it without
(20:55):
alcohol.
Like, does that relate to youas well?
Are you finding that?
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Oh, 100%, like the commitment to myself and the way
I trust myself is so muchdifferent now because I'm able
to commit.
I wanted to touch on thatbecause I recently learned as
well that we hold these energywells.
So whenever we are clearing outa certain emotion, that like
energy right, because energy andmotion are just emotions and so
when you're clearing out thatemotion, then your body's like,
(21:19):
oh, you could handle that.
Oh, now you can handle somemore.
So it seems like you're, youknow, not progressing, but in
reality your body is saying, no,you're just able to handle more
.
And so, yeah, exactly thethings that you go through are
here just to like, always showyou a lesson, or to you know,
yeah, really a lesson, alwayshere to teach you right, always
here to train you for what,what's ever next is for you,
(21:41):
whatever is next for you yeah,totally like growth and
evolution, like you'reconstantly you know we're
constantly expanding our comfortzone and healing our nervous
system to be able to cope withthat by giving it these
disconfirming experiences, thatwe can do it, that we are safe,
that we can keep moving forwards.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
And then I think the really important thing is just
to like say, like rest and giveourselves grace along the way.
And if that means having theodd numb out here and there,
then like so be it.
Right, you know everyone needsthat, but again, it's not
turning to alcohol to do that,which would then just slow down
the whole process, the wholeprocess.
Yeah, it's awesome, it's sogood, it's process.
(22:25):
Yeah, it's so good, it's sogood.
And you're glowing.
And I know you said you've beenthrough a lot, but I think that
you know I'm, I think it'samazing that you've been able to
navigate that, that change,without turning to the alcohol.
And and again, I think you knowit does show perhaps this is a
really good path for you movingforwards as well.
And what, what have you gotplanned?
Like, what are your plans withthe business and everything over
the next kind of like three tosix months maybe?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, so right now I do have a little like mini
retreat going to happen inJanuary.
It's just like a one day gettogether for women and it's not
really like a woman's circlebecause it's going to be like an
all day thing, so we're callingit a retreat.
I'm really excited about that.
Other than that, right now Ialso am trying to build a course
(23:08):
.
So me doing this past week thatI told you you know, I held that
space for those women and Igave them a lesson in embodiment
practice each day Just reallyhelped.
It was like one of thosestepping stones, right, like
exactly what we're talking aboutstones, right, like exactly
what we're talking about.
It helped me see that methinking about creating this
course isn't as hard as I reallythought it was going to be, as
(23:28):
my brain was making it out to be, because once I did it for
these women just like minicourses, like a mini course
pretty much it made me seem like, oh wait, no, I could totally
sit down and talk longer abouteverything that I told them and
really get into it more.
And yeah, so I think I wouldreally like to hold some group
coaching very soon and alongwith the course, and, yeah, I'm
(23:49):
really excited about that.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
I wanted to touch on something that you just said,
but I'm just going to say to thelisteners while you think as
well, you're in.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Austin.
Right, are you in Austin?
No, I'm in West Texas, texas,in Odessa.
Yeah, no, I wish um.
I think I think Bianca is rightshe's.
Yeah, yeah, five hours away.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, there's me being like the English slash
Australian.
That's like, oh, she's in Texas, like everyone lives really
close, and you're like, no, no,we live five hours away.
Yeah, yeah, because I have alot of American listeners, so
you never know if anyone iswhere you just said in Texas.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Odessa, yeah, yeah, I would love to connect, um, and
that's what I'm really feelingcalled to lately as well.
It's like more in person things.
More in person, eitherworkshops, because I have been
hosting those as well.
It's like more in-person things.
More in-person, eitherworkshops, because I have been
hosting those as well, or morein-person mini retreats, really
anything.
(24:51):
I would love to host a rageritual in person.
I've only done them online andso, yeah, I'm just feeling
really called up that communityand finding more so of a sober
community too, and I feel like aa lot of spiritual women that I
have met here don't reallydrink, or they don't drink as
often, um, and so that's beenvery helpful too.
So I'm not feeling, you know,I'm not really being called out
(25:14):
on the night to go party and gotake drinks or anything like
that, not that I think that thatwould be.
I don't know.
I actually would really need toput myself in that situation in
order to know.
I think I could say no, but it'salso like I've come from this,
from just, you know, I kind ofmentioned this already, but my,
you know, I grew up in ahousehold where my parents just
drank and that was like thenormal, and my dad was an
(25:37):
alcoholic.
For me growing up, and so youknow, just the drinking
community, society was just likein my face all the time, even
my sisters.
And then I started drinking ata young age and so, I just guess
, I really never thought therewas a problem until I started to
do like this, deeper work andand yeah, I didn't really talk
(26:00):
about this yet, but because mydad was an alcoholic and him
passing away from cancer due toalcoholism, it made me get on
this initial path of wanting totry to be sober, right, why
would I want to follow in mydad's footsteps?
And I never really saw myselfas an alcoholic, I guess.
(26:20):
But I know that we all havethat gene and we all have the
strong addiction to alcohol.
I can see it and obviously nowI'm more aware of it and so,
yeah, that's really what stemmedfrom me.
Wanting to start was, like youknow, losing my dad and then me
taking these breaks.
But I was always in the ravecommunity Um, if anyone's
(26:42):
listening and goes to raves, um,and in that community there's a
lot of drinking too, and sowhen I would go, it was mainly
be this like um, everyone wouldbe always drinking Right, and so
I would always feel the call todrink during those times.
And so when I say, if peopleinvite me out, it's just I feel
(27:02):
like those are the times thatI've slipped up, because that's
what I'm just so conditioned todrink.
Every time I'm in thatatmosphere, and so I am a little
nervous about it, and I haven'treally gotten invited out to go
party or go to a rave, and so Iam a little nervous to do that.
Do I believe in myself?
And saying no, yes, and also I'mstill at the point where it's,
(27:26):
you know, still in the back ofmy head sometimes, like when I'm
around it, right, it's stilllike oh, just have a drink,
it'll be fine.
Oh, just just have one, it'sright there and it's it's been
um, yeah, yeah.
So I just really wanted anyonewho can resonate and who's going
through this process right nowand who isn't, you know, two
years in and still kind of inthis beginning journey, just
(27:46):
want you to know that you're notalone and feeling that way.
Um, I don't know when did itdid?
Does it still come up for you,didi, or did it actually stop at
some point?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
well, firstly, thank you for raising yeah it's, yeah,
it's, it's a really, reallygoing to be a really useful and
valid thing to bring up because,um it, it is a journey and a
process and, like, as you weretalking, I was thinking, you
know again about giving yourselfgrace.
I have a very similarbackground to you actually, um,
(28:17):
whereby it was very, very muchum in air quotes normal to drink
a lot in the family, and so Ithought it was normal.
And then I adopted the role ofthe party girl and I was a
bloody good party girl as well,like I was.
I loved it.
I could drink.
The guys under the table Didn'tthink it was presenting that
much of a problem.
Until I've done all this workand stepped away and I look back
(28:39):
and I'm like, wow, oh, mygoodness, wow.
And like, work and stepped awayand I look back and I'm like,
wow, oh, my goodness, wow.
And like if I am to havechildren or whenever I look at,
like my niece and nephews andtheir age and I think about what
I was doing at their age andlike what I was, you know,
putting into my body, like overand over again and everything
that came with that.
But my point is I loved a partytoo right and I still now love
(28:59):
a party, but I will say thatthere it was a journey in terms
of having that confidence to beable to let loose in those
environments, and I think you'rereally self-aware, like you
really know yourself, and Ithink that perhaps saying no at
the moment has, once you'refeeling more solid and, like you
(29:22):
start to maybe test it a littlebit, and I think already
because you do so many amazingthings with your embodiment work
and you're used to being inyour body and you're able to
express yourself and dance, likethat's going to stand you in
really good stead right and so,when the timing feels right, you
will start to go to thesethings again if you want to, and
I can absolutely promise you,with a little bit of practice
(29:42):
and again it's another form ofjust keeping, taking those baby
steps and, you know, gettingoutside of your comfort zone you
will completely, completelyrewire those pathways to the
point where you go and you endup having such an incredible
time because you're fullyconnected, you're fully in your
body.
Like you know, choose an energyand an environment and a group
of friends and the music thatyou love and go and you will
(30:06):
just be on such a natural high.
But it's about again having theboundaries with that, choosing
wisely about where you're goingto go.
And then, in answer to yourquestion, I mean, look, I went
to Ibiza 22 months in becausethat was what should have been
the end of my sober chapter.
Ibiza 22 months in, becausethat was what should have been
(30:26):
the end of my sober chapter.
And Ibiza is a notorious partyisland that I went to when I was
26.
And I don't even remember thefour days that I was there.
I mean, it was carnage and itwas all about the rave scene and
I went.
Only one of my friends wasalcohol free, the rest were
drinking and I threw myself intoit and I had one of the most
naturally high.
It felt like a spiritualexperience in the nightclubs
(30:47):
where it was just me, connectedfully to the music and just so
grateful for this decision andto get to that place.
Because that is true freedom,like when you can get to a place
where you can go and dance andparty and do all of the things
that you used to do and feeleven more electric and connected
and high and all of that.
I mean god, like what?
(31:08):
What more freedom is there thanthat, because you don't ever
have to factor in the hangovers,you don't have to factor in the
self-loathing, the shame oranything that comes along.
You can fit more of that intoyour life.
So you, you will.
If you want to get there, youwill absolutely get there.
And time frames wise depends,depends, everyone's different,
but it does take a little bit ofyou putting yourself in that
situation in the right way,because then you build up again.
(31:31):
It's just building up similarthing.
You're building up thosedisconfirming experiences that
you can do it, you know, provingyourself, um, that you can.
So I'm excited for you.
Look how passionate I get this.
I'm like this is my jam.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I love it.
No, I love it so much.
No, and you just made me likefeel really good about it,
because I mean, just eventhinking about putting myself in
that atmosphere again excitesme in general.
I mean, I love raving.
I haven't done it in a whileand it hasn't even been because
of, like you know me on thisjourney, but it's been because
where I'm at in West Texasthere's not a lot of raves, but
(32:04):
where I used to live there wasin Dallas.
Dallas has like a lot of raves,and so just going from like
Dallas to West Texas, I reallyhaven't had the opportunity to
like even just thinking about itright now it makes me so
excited, like I would reallyenjoy it sober, for once.
I'd probably remember a wholeset which, when I would drink, I
would get so drunk that, likesometimes I wouldn't remember
things, you know.
And so this will be like awhole new experience and I've
(32:27):
been doing that for the wholetime.
I've been raving since like 2013.
So, you know, it'll be reallynice to just go without having
that shame afterwards or beinghung over the next day or
feeling extremely tired and alsofeeling this ability to leave
when I'm ready to leave, becauseI also feel like that's what
alcohol does.
(32:48):
It also like I need more.
I need more.
I can't leave.
I can't leave you get like thisFOMO you know, and like now I
don't really have that I am ableto leave when my sister invites
me out and she's having likefriends over and they're all
drinking.
I'm like all right, that'senough for me.
I'm tired.
I'm going to go to bed, youknow.
It just so much easier to staycommitted to the things that I
want and hold those boundariesyet again.
So yeah, yeah, but thank youfor that.
(33:10):
I am excited.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, no, I love it.
I love it.
It is really, really exciting,and you'll just feel so proud of
yourself as well, and that,that will, will you know?
yeah, that again, like I said,that seeps into every area of
your life and it's it'sdefinitely you will do it.
I can actually see, like whenyou were talking, I was like can
imagine me, you and Bianca,going to like a sober rave, or
(33:32):
even, you know, depending on howpeople feel like I actually
still quite like going to placeswhere people are still drinking
, if it's a great environment,because it kind of it doesn't
magnetize it so much thateveryone's sober.
It's just like you just get inand feel it like you would in a
normal situation, but you're theone there with a bit of a
spring in your step because youknow you're not going to be
feeling shit the next day.
So, yeah, that's really cool.
(33:53):
And also thank you for bringingup community as well earlier,
because I think that's huge,that's something that everybody
needs on their sober journey.
And you know I did a programprobably I reckon I was about
three months in because I alwayssay the three month mark was
like a little bit morechallenging for me, because
that's when some of my deeperwounds and insecurities were
(34:14):
coming up, because I had takenquite a few breaks before and
always thought, like you know,it's the answer to everything.
You know sober glow, like allof that stuff, feeling great
loads of energy.
But then you know, emotionswould come up that I wasn't used
to and insecurities would comeup that I wasn't used to and I
had to process those.
So it was tricky.
And also I would get to likethe three month mark and be like
(34:36):
, okay, right, what's next?
What do I do next?
What's more here?
And you know you can get pulledback to your old friends and
things like that, or old habitsmaybe.
And so I joined this program andI did it for like 16 weeks and
that was where I actuallylearned about what I wanted to
truly do with being alcohol freeand like discover my true
purpose.
(34:56):
And that's how Sober Chapterswas born and all of that.
But it also gave me this reallystrong sense of community with.
It was like maybe like 20, 30alcohol-free women all over the
states and that's why I seem tohave such a an amazing network
now in the alcohol-free space.
But that has been a huge giftand a huge, huge part of what I
needed and what I needed tobreak, break through that mark,
(35:19):
I think as well.
So yeah, if you can, you know,tap into that.
But I think we also attractthat into our lives so much more
when we are alcohol free, likewe attract in other alcohol free
humans like for sure the morewe're on this path, and it
sounds like you've already got abit of that going on,
especially in the spiritualspace, which I love for you.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah, no, I am, thank you.
Yeah, no, I really am, and I'menjoying, you know, having these
friends who don't, you know,just rely on drinking and
partying.
But we're really able to createthis like deeper connection and
you know, like the retreats orthe sister circles, that we're
doing it.
It also makes me realize howmuch, like you know, how much, I
love actually doing that, likemaybe it was always just me
(36:03):
wanting to be in community whenI would go to these raves.
It wasn't that I was wanting toparty, because I feel like that
was always in my head, like I'mjust going to party, but in
reality, I was searching forcommunity, I was searching for
connection, I was searching fordeeper understanding, because we
all enjoyed the same music andwe all like to dance, and so,
yeah, I'm just finding communityin different ways now and
understanding myself better andbeing committed to who I want to
(36:26):
be, and that's just been so, sohelpful.
So, yeah, community 100%, and Ialso know what kind of
communities you have that I canjoin.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Me.
Yes, oh my God.
That's so funny because I waslike I'm going to bring up my
program because this is, likeyou know, literally what we're
talking about.
So I am literally launching.
Well, first of all, I've quitmy corporate job completely, so
I am now all in with soberchapters.
So I finished the corporateworld after 17 years in
recruitment all I've ever knowna career.
(36:56):
That has just been such ablessing to me like I've been
all over the world with it.
Now, obviously, in Australia Iwent part-time in April to be
able to serve more clients andthen it just got to the point
where I was never going to beable to you know, really do what
I know I'm meant to do you knowin this lifetime if I didn't
say goodbye and close the dooron, I guess, that chapter which
(37:17):
has been the recruitment world.
So, yes, all in with SoberChapters.
Because, as, as well, I'mlaunching my group coaching
program which is called soberchapters 100.
Right, and it's an 100 dayalcohol-free transformation,
I've said, for the mind, body,heart and soul, because it's
literally incorporating, likeall of the work I've done over
(37:39):
the last eight years, like Ihave spent literally thousands
on mentors, coaches, programs inall of those various like
aspects, and I've brought it alltogether and it's going to be
weekly modules, so 14 weeklymodules and also 14 weekly group
coaching calls as well.
So it's starting on January,the 12th next year, because I
(37:59):
thought that would just be agreat way to set up 2025 and
it'll be, yeah, like unlocking,like weekly from there.
So run through, I think Iworked out it runs through to
around, like April basically,and there's a Black Friday
discount happening.
I haven't even like launched itofficially yet.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
But we're just happening today.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Talk about divine timing.
So I'm sending the um liveemail out to my um, my
close-knit community, by mymailing list this afternoon and
then I'm going to be launchingit on Instagram next week and I
think this episode so everyonelistening this episode it will
be live and it will be actuallyBlack Friday.
(38:40):
It will be friday, oh mygoodness.
So the black friday sale it'snormally be 699 us dollars and
it's actually going to be 369for a week next week over black
friday, which is super like,super reasonable, and there's so
much content in there and I'vepoured my like heart and soul
(39:00):
into it, as you can imagine yesthere you go.
Thank you for asking, and Iwould love you to be a part of
it.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
I would love that yeah, no, okay, no.
I really feel like this isdoable.
I wanted to ask you like do youhave to be on day one or do can
you be at any point of yourjourney?
Speaker 1 (39:17):
no.
So a really big part of themessage that's a great question
as well is that this is for kindof like sober, curious people
that have taken breaks here andthere, that want to go deeper
with the inner work.
They want to, you know, a deeptransformation, because it is
such a powerful opportunity toreally go on that journey of
self-discovery without thehangovers like holding you back
and the and the alcohol.
And.
But it's also for people thatare perhaps newly alcohol free,
(39:41):
like yourself, or even peoplethat are long-term alcohol-free
and they just haven't reallygone in and done that deeper
work.
So it is going to be literallya mix of people.
But, um, the only people I'vesaid that it probably wouldn't
be suitable is for people thathave never taken a break before,
because this is about reallygoing into the deeper work
rather than necessarily likecoming off the alcohol so much,
(40:02):
um, but just, yeah, goingthrough a lot of the stuff like
you know, really going throughlike the ego patterns as well,
getting to know all of those,just so much stuff that you all
really resonate with.
Um, yeah, I'm so excited, Ilove it.
Yeah, how funny and congrats,that's awesome.
Thank you, thank you yeah, itis.
it is always a divine thing,isn't it?
Like you say, we were meant tochat a couple of weeks ago and,
(40:24):
yeah, I would love to have youin there as well.
So, yeah, for anyone listening,go grab your discount.
Go grab it.
Yeah, it will be back to 699after that, but there is also a
lead magnet coming out for howto go through a festive period
as well alcohol-free, andthere'll be a little bit of a
discount in there too.
But your best bet is blackfriday, so yay awesome.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Yeah, I'll definitely .
I'll definitely do it.
I mean, I'm down, I'm alreadysign me up, there we go meet us
both, um, thank you and thanksfor sharing so much.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
And is there anything that you would want to say to
anyone that is a little bitsober, curious at the moment,
that wants to go on the journeythat you've gone on, like what
comes to your heart on that?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
yeah, yeah, most definitely.
I would love to just say thatif you're you know you've been
having this calling for a whileand if you're listening to this
and you're resonating, I wantyou to know that you know, like,
let this be the nudge for youto actually go for it and and go
, go for it.
And if you mess up, like, don'tbe hard on yourself completely,
just show yourself some loveand compassion and try again if
(41:30):
that's what you feel called todo.
But, um, you know, I'll say,feel free to reach out to me if,
if you want.
I'm in the very early stages ofmy journey too, and I've
restarted multiple times and andyeah, you got this 100%.
Um, reach out to Didi and ifyou know any embodiment
practices, tap into that duringthat time to like, um, yeah,
(41:52):
that's really all I would haveto say is you've got this.
If you're feeling that deepinner calling.
That is kind of what you toldme, didi, like we were talking
about spirituality and how Ijust felt like it connected with
everything and how I had thisdeep moment of doing breath work
and it came to me that I am themedicine that I was searching
for.
(42:12):
I am everything that I wassearching for.
I don't need anything externalto give me what I'm needing
internally.
I need me to give me that andI'm already powerful and
magnetic and all the things thatI already need, and so tap into
that frequency of love and andunderstanding that you are
everything that you already needand also that you are the magic
(42:33):
and the medicine.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Um and yeah, oh beautiful.
Yeah, so true, we don't needany of the external substance at
all.
And if you will only deepenthat connection to yourself more
and more and more and more asyour journey goes on, so yeah,
thank you so much.
I'm so excited for you andsuper excited for this program
(42:55):
next year too.
So where can people find you,dakota?
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yeah, so you can currently find me on Instagram
at Dakotablackstone.
You can also go to my website,dakota blackstonecom.
I have different offerings forone-on-ones.
I also will be having my courseup soon.
I also have some freebies inthere.
Also, my DMS are open, so feelfree to shoot me a DM just to
(43:20):
connect or to talk or to ask meanything I would love to connect
with, to talk or to ask meanything I would love to connect
with you Again, just reallylike creating community.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
So gorgeous, all right, lovely, well, thank you
so much and yeah, we'll catch upagain soon.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Okay, yeah, thank you , bye everyone.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Thank you for listening to today's episode of
the Sober Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
(44:00):
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on.
Feeling called, I would loveyou to leave a review from
whatever platform it is thatyou're listening on, and if you
send me a screenshot of thatreview to dd at SoberChapterscom
, I will put you into the mix ofwinning a free one-on-one
coaching session with me.
If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
follow along on Instagram it'sSober underscore Chapters You'll
(44:25):
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
(44:49):
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you, so grab yourself your favorite
cuppa and come join me in asafe space to listen, to share
(00:46):
and to feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast, and
(01:08):
today I'm joined by the gorgeousDakota Blackstone, who I had
the pleasure of meeting withinour embodiment training last
year, and Dakota actuallyinvited me onto her own podcast
a few months ago and she wasvery much sober curious at the
time and we had a really bigchat through about all the
benefits of sobriety and soberchapters and everything.
(01:31):
And she's actually nowembarking on her own sober
chapter, so I was super excitedto get her onto the show.
I thought it'd be great for youall to hear somebody that's
embarked on the journey fairly,fairly recently.
So thank you, dakota, andwelcome.
How are you doing recently?
So, thank you, dakota, andwelcome.
How are you doing?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
today.
Thank you, yeah, thank you.
I'm so excited to be here.
Thank you for having me on.
I'm doing really well.
I've been eager to hop on thislittle podcast with you.
I know I keep rescheduling onyou.
I really apologize about that.
There's so much going on in mylife, but I'm glad that we're
here all in divine timing.
Speaker 1 (02:05):
Yeah, I was gonna say , as we just said before, it's
always divine timing and, yeah,I can't wait to dive into all
the things with you this morning.
It was probably evening overthere with you as well.
Yeah, so how about we startwith just firstly introduce
yourself and what you've been upto and everything, and then I
guess your decision to come likeon a sober journey, I guess as
(02:28):
well.
Speaker 2 (02:29):
Yeah, absolutely okay .
So just to introduce myself,I'm Dakota.
I'm an embodiment coach.
I actually did a coachingcertification this year with
Didi and that's how we got toknow each other.
Within that, we just graduatedin that.
I think that was in August, if,if I'm not mistaken.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And since then I've been, youknow, taking clients here and
(02:50):
there.
I just hosted my first likemini container.
It was a week long.
I gave embodiment practices andlessons each day and then we
all got together and like, did arage ritual, which is so
beautiful and I feel deeplycalled to continue to do for my
community and for anyone who iswilling to jump into something
like that.
And I'm also right now hostingretreats with people here in my
(03:13):
hometown.
And, yeah, that's kind of what'sgoing on in my life currently.
I'm loving it.
I'm really enjoying this soberchapter of my life as well.
I did want to mention that ithas been.
I think it's going to be 80days tomorrow.
So, yeah, I'm super excited.
(03:34):
I'm really proud of myselfbecause I've tried to do this
multiple times and it's thelongest I've gone is 50 days,
which is so amazing.
And also, I've always wanted togo 90 days because, out of all
of the books that I have read inthe podcasts I've listened to,
they always say like this 90 dayis like this mark of, I guess,
(03:55):
like realization of you notneeding it, or maybe just like
there's like this veil thatlifts for you.
And so I'm 10 days away fromthat.
I'm super excited.
I did say that initially, thatI was just going to give
myself'm.
10 days away from that.
I'm super excited.
I did say that initially, thatI was just going to give myself
the 90 days, but I truly think Idon't really see a point in
stopping the journey.
So so yeah.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Yay, wow, thank you.
Yeah, that's so.
I love it.
I love having somebody onthat's going through that
journey and in that kind of likefairly early stage of it, like
what, when you say you likeyou've done days before, like
what do you feel is differentthis time?
Like about this over chapter,what's helped you to go further
along, do you think?
Speaker 2 (04:33):
yeah.
So I would say there's a.
I would say there's a fewthings, so I'll just I'll list
them all, one being I'm a momthis time around and, you know,
I'm actually at a better placetoo.
I tried it actually the firsttime when I did the 50 days when
I was in my postpartum journeyvery early on, and now I'm
(04:53):
further along.
I've done more healing work,I've dove really into my
emotions and no longersuppressing those, and that's
been very helpful for me tocontinue this journey and not be
afraid to continue to dive intothose.
And then also, I really want tosay you, because we've won,
we've had this like podcast andI wanted to make sure I'd had
(05:15):
been sober when I came on here.
Not that I think you wouldjudge me or anything like that,
but it was like a little senseof like accountability and so,
yeah, you are a big, big part ofthis journey too, so thank you.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
Oh, that's gorgeous.
Thank you, Lovely.
Yeah, Like I'm super proud ofyou and it's look, as we know,
there's never any coincidences,right, and we had this kind of
super special connection.
And then you know me comingonto your podcast when I was in
LA.
I don't think you had plannedto necessarily definitely go
alcohol free either.
I had to, and it's kind of eventhe fact that you got me on
(05:47):
there and you were so curiousand I think I asked you a couple
of questions in your podcastwhich, by the way, if you get a
chance, guys, I'll list it inthe show notes because it was a
really, really great one and itwas kind of almost like I think
you came off that and wentstraight into it.
And, yeah, it's so good to hearand it's so good to hear that
you gave yourself that challengeof the 90 days too and that
(06:09):
you're already feeling like youmay continue.
And I love that you'vementioned about, you know,
diving into your emotions deeperthis time, because that's a
huge part of my message thatwhen you remove alcohol, you get
to do that deeper healing likeit really does accelerate that.
So how do you think that hasbeen for you?
Like, what has that felt likefor the audience that are
(06:30):
listening that may be curiousand that have been avoiding that
deeper healing work?
What has that looked like foryou?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Yeah.
So to put it like short andsweet, and I'll go more into it,
it's been very liberating.
Actually, I think for a longtime I didn't understand why I
continued to go back to drinking, like over and over again, even
after all of the information Iknew.
Because, again, I did myresearch, I read books, I
listened to podcasts, I listenedto multiple audio books.
(06:58):
It just felt like this timearound with me like really
feeling my emotions, and thatliberation that I felt from
doing so has made it more easyfor me to just keep going and
diving into them, um, but I willsay that it's also, you know,
it's it's really helped me notfeel so resistant to going into
(07:19):
them as well.
So, like with us doing thecoaching, certification, um, and
us learning all thatinformation, it really helped me
just to like understand thatour emotions aren't something
that we have to run from.
They're actually something hereto guide us to a deeper path to
ourselves, a deeper path towhat we are meant to do in this
life and to really justunderstand ourselves on a deeper
(07:41):
level.
And so, yeah, I don't know,just really the constant
liberation that I would feeleach time I would feel my
emotions was more of aexcitement to come back to them,
even when they were scary.
But I know I just talked to youabout how I'm going through a
lot right now and me diving intomy emotions is almost like the
last thing I want to do rightnow.
(08:02):
Almost like the last thing Iwant to do right now.
I am doing it, just not as oftenas I used to, and so I'm like
utilizing, um, other tools, Iguess other tools and modalities
that I'm realizing that uharen't, as you know, um, I'm
trying to think of words here.
Okay, so I'll just be frankwith your audience, but I've
(08:24):
definitely been using a lot ofscrolling lately.
Okay, so I'll just be frankwith your audience, but I've
definitely been using a lot ofscrolling lately.
Okay, we got a lot going onover here in America, and so
I've definitely been using a lotof scrolling and watching TV
and haven't been diving more sointo my emotions.
But when I do that, I can tellthe difference, right, I can
tell emotionally that I'm just,you know, not feeling as
liberated or free or light andhappy as I normally do, compared
(08:47):
to when I do take the time todive into my emotions daily.
It really is a completedifference, because when you're
able to go into the heavieremotions, then you start being
this open.
Well, for the lighter emotionstoo, like the gratitude, the joy
, the enlightenment.
It's like this full circlemoment.
So I forgot what your questionwas, but hopefully that answered
(09:08):
it.
Speaker 1 (09:11):
Yeah, no, that answered loads of it.
There was so much that I wantedto go through as you were
talking then, and thanks forbeing so open about how you're
looking at other ways topotentially numb.
But I think we have to giveourselves grace right on this
journey, huge grace, and youknow grace and compassion and,
as people say, you know you haveto be able to love yourself
(09:32):
into healing.
You can't beat yourself up intohealing and I think the
difference is with you, perhapswatching tv or scrolling and
things like that.
There's not the added likenegative of drinking alcohol on
top right, you have theawareness.
You know you're doing that.
We all need to.
You know give ourselves a breaksometimes, right, whatever that
looks like.
You don't then have whatevergoes on in your body and your
(09:54):
brain and all of that andwhatever consequences may come
of a big boozy night or the nextday to deal with.
So I think, even though it's aform of numbing, like it's
nowhere near, yeah, you knowlike the same.
Speaker 2 (10:06):
Thank you for saying that.
Yeah, yeah, no, you're so true.
I mean that's so true because,gosh, just the way I would feel
each time I would drink, andjust the remorse and the guilt I
would feel from drinking thenext day, or even the anxiety
that you get.
It's so much like everyonehates me.
What did I do?
What did I say?
(10:26):
I shouldn't have done that.
It's.
There's just so much pressureand so it's a different kind of
numbing and it's not quite asextreme as I feel like taking a
drink is.
So I do appreciate you sayingthat.
Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1 (10:38):
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Again, it's like givingyourself grace, because that is
a it's, it's a lesser root of Idon't know.
We need to say evil really, butyou know what?
Speaker 2 (10:48):
I mean it's.
Speaker 1 (10:49):
It's better of the bad things, for sure yeah and um
, and it enables us to come backfrom it quicker too right,
there's not like a recover phasefrom it and like the aftermath
and everything like we say, um,yeah, no, that's, that's
incredible, um, so it'sinteresting as well.
What came up for me when youwere chatting was about the
(11:10):
embodiment work that you weredoing and how I think that's
helped you on your journey and,interestingly, like I had done
all the kind of like lifecoaching stuff all the alcohol
free coaching stuff for themindset work, and was loving
that you know from like a coupleof years ago when I started my
sober chapter.
But when I saw the embodimentwork, that was like a real
missing piece for me because Iknew that it was all about
(11:31):
feeling to heal essentially andreally getting into our body.
And I've been doing a lot ofembodiment work.
I have a mentor over in theStates.
That's very much about uscoming back to our feminine and
being in our hearts and ourbodies.
I was really passionate aboutit.
So then when I saw theembodiment certification, I was
like, yeah, this is perfectbecause it aligns so well with
(11:52):
being alcohol free.
Right, isn't it just such agreat opportunity to?
Because I think with me and Italk about this like alcohol did
really keep me in my head more,like it definitely kept me in
my head, definitely disconnectedme from my body.
It definitely disconnected mefrom my feminine, from my heart,
from my true nature, and so Ithink they kind of like
interlink completely and it'syeah, that's been really
(12:15):
powerful and it'll be reallypowerful with all the work that
you're doing and your, yourclients, are gonna benefit so
much from you going reallythrough that and feeling all of
your emotions and helping themto do the same.
Like, how has that impacted?
So in the last 80 days thatyou've you've been alcohol free,
like yeah, what positives haveyou seen from that point of view
?
Speaker 2 (12:35):
yeah, definitely.
I feel like I kind of mentionedone here already, but I
definitely wanted to speak moreon it.
It's just like like thingsaren't as scary anymore.
Like I I am, I have the abilityto go after things that once
scared me.
Um, like shitless excuse mylanguage, sorry, I don't know
but like things that scared me,like things that in the past, I
(12:56):
would you know, set myself up todo.
And then I would get you know,I would tell myself cause this
is a real life example Like Iwould do these things right.
I've always been very ambitiousand goal-driven and determined.
But I would get to this pointwhere I'd be like, okay, I'm not
going to drink this weekend,because I know if I drink, then
(13:16):
I'm going to either go as far asblacking out or just hating
myself the next day.
I didn't want to do it, but thenI would get a call from a
friend like, hey, come out.
And it was so like easy for meto just, you know, go out.
And then it would start thecycle over where it was.
Just like I could not get outof that and I felt like I wasn't
progressing because I was stuckin that pattern and in that
cycle, but because I'm able to,like, feel my feelings now it
really helps me, you know, notbe afraid of feeling the
(13:39):
emotions that come with mewanting to drink.
So, like, what's underneath that?
Like why do I feel the need tohave to now say yes to my friend
who invited me out when I madethe commitment to myself to not
go and you know, not that Ireally get invited out much
anymore but like this is justlike a small example and really
what I would like dive under.
That is like okay, there couldbe people pleasing there for me
(14:01):
which I'm no longer feeling,which I then can help my clients
out with.
Right, or okay, it could be menot feeling good enough.
Okay, well, I can feel throughthat emotion.
I can also help my clients feelthrough that emotion.
It's like just really allowingme to uncover all of these root
feelings and limiting beliefsthat I was holding onto that I
now get to work with otherpeople on.
Yeah, that's amazing.
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I love that.
I love all of that becausethat's amazing.
I love that.
I love all of that becausethat's what it's about.
There's so we have so much youknow, we have so many beliefs
around why we need to drink orwhat alcohol gives us that
essentially just aren't true.
And when we can like pick awayat those and, you know, witness
the growth and the magic withoutthose, in our lives too.
And then all the conditioningaround.
(14:42):
You know, so much societalpressure isn't there, like
cultural, societal, likeeverything.
And I think that once you cankind of like step away from that
and realize that it is allexactly that, it's just
conditioning, it's false beliefs, and then rewrite your own
story or rewrite your chapter.
You know it's amazing.
And then you gain this evidence,don't you this evidence and
(15:02):
this trust within yourself, andthen you gain this evidence,
don't you this evidence and thistrust within yourself.
It's like you end up with thislike toolbox, of like, yeah, of
tools essentially, that you cango back to, so that, like, when
a difficult time comes up whereyou're presented with like
something that's going to temptyou, you know that you've got it
.
And the longer that goes on,you're also literally rewiring
your neural pathways as well,and you know I can honestly say,
(15:25):
like you know, it depends whereyou go with this journey, but
I'm at about two and a halfyears now.
And I don't even really countanymore because it's just like
you know, I did my chapter,which is 22 months, and now it's
just like this is life for mealcohol free.
I love it and I couldn'tgenuinely not think of anything
worse than having a drink now.
(15:45):
And I do actually throw myselfinto certain situations which I
didn't for a while, because Ifelt a little bit like oh, I
don't know, but again it's kindof like slowly, slowly, like
facing your fears and steppingoutside your comfort zone and
going to things and now I canjust go and have a great time
without it.
But I think we are really goodwith our boundaries, with that
(16:06):
and like we choose things thatwe want to do that genuinely
light us up and you find whatgenuinely lights you up as well,
right, rather than just goingand sitting with people that
maybe you didn't have that muchof a connection with before.
So, yeah, I can see you nodding, so yeah, yeah, no, 100.
Speaker 2 (16:22):
No, I agree with you on all of that.
And, man, there's one thingthat you really touched on that
I wanted to say and I'mforgetting, but yeah, just like
you know, not feeling the needto do it.
Oh, setting the boundaries.
And once you like, continue toset the boundaries, they get
easier, and I guess I have beeninvited out by my sister and
stuff like that, and it's justmade it so much easier for me to
say no, because I feel like,out of everyone to ask me to
(16:44):
like drink or hang out and havea couple of drinks, is the
people that it's hardest for meto say no to are my family,
because they were such aninfluence in my life this whole
time that, like, drinking wasokay and it was just something
that you did.
And so it's almost like when Iget around them, I mean, as you
know right, our triggers and ourwounds that come up are mainly
from our family, and so it comesup and it's almost like I do
(17:07):
have more of this like eagernessto drink just because
everyone's doing it around me.
But I also have drawn theseboundaries now and I've also
like I more so, look at what Iwould rather have than like that
instant gratification, right?
What would I rather say?
That I'm 80, 90 days sober?
Or would I rather say that Ihad a drink and now I have to
start over, or whatever?
(17:28):
It is right For me it's.
I am proud of myself and itfeels good to be proud of myself
.
And when I have moments of beinghard on myself because you know
we all do, which that is onething that has really come up
for me lately is like how hard Ican be on myself, which also
makes sense as to why I woulddrink all the time.
If I'm too hard on myself,nothing is ever enough.
(17:49):
That perfectionism, theimposter syndrome, comes up for
you and so and so, yeah, that isone thing, but I forgot where I
was going with that.
But, yeah, so I've just, I'vejust realized a lot, and me
being able to set theseboundaries has been so helpful.
So you, touching on that, yeah,that's another thing that's
come out of all of this.
And then me also really beingable to stay in my passion and
(18:10):
my purpose and in alignment withmy spiritual growth and my
healing, rather than having to Imean, I'm not saying you have
to start over each time you havea drink, but for me sometimes
it would get that bad that Ijust felt like I was going
backwards and I wasn't reallyprogressing Right.
And so, yeah, I just feel likeI'm more on the up and up, even
though you know it's not linear,but I'm more so like doing this
(18:33):
you know what I mean, ratherthan I know your listeners can't
hear or see me, but I'm likemoving my hand up linear.
Speaker 1 (18:45):
So, um, yeah, so, yeah, I think it's just really
helpful to be able to draw thoseboundaries and personal
policies for myself.
Yeah, yeah, it's amazing, andyou know it is.
It is something to be really,really proud of, and you know
that that pride seeps into everysingle other area of our life.
Right and it's, you know, itends up having this just
compound effect like yes, it'snever linear.
It ends up having this justcompound effect.
Like, yes, it's never linear,and sometimes we feel like we're
(19:06):
going backwards, even thoughwe're always going forwards,
because that's another thing,right, someone I was talking to
someone recently about this likesometimes when you're on that
growth and healing journey, youcan feel like you know a
curveball comes at you, you gettriggered, activated, all these
things come up and you thinkyou've gone backwards, but
actually the reframe of that isno, you're only ever given, like
what you're capable ofreceiving and working through
(19:28):
right so it's just a deeperlevel of growth to go through,
which can feel really, reallyuncomfortable, and it's always
moving forwards and you'realways making progress.
And then the other things inyour life stay consistent and
you keep moving forwards withthat too.
So you know, look at youbirthing this beautiful business
into the world.
I can really relate with howmuch that's going to have helped
(19:51):
you, because there is no way,dakota, that I would be doing
any of this if I was stilldrinking.
Like seriously, I wasabsolutely petrified of being
seen.
I was petrified of doing anInstagram video only just over
18 months ago.
I was, even though I was like,super confident in my corporate
(20:11):
world.
I that wasn't about me, right.
So I would like go and presentand do client meetings and you
know I've worked all over theworld in that space.
But when it came to sharing mystory and being vulnerable about
my sobriety journey and showingthe true me, it was literally
crippling.
And only just over a year ago,I was a guest on my first
podcast and I literally had toput myself in the fetal position
(20:34):
in bed.
Afterwards my nervous systemwas shot.
But then, that was like thisdisconfirming experience to my
nervous system of what I'mcapable of, and then that's
enabled me to keep taking thesebaby steps, slowly and
consistently, because I don'thave hangovers in the way and I
can see like you're doing somuch with your business in that
same way, like the growth andthe acceleration of it without
(20:55):
alcohol.
Like, does that relate to youas well?
Are you finding that?
Speaker 2 (20:59):
Oh, 100%, like the commitment to myself and the way
I trust myself is so muchdifferent now because I'm able
to commit.
I wanted to touch on thatbecause I recently learned as
well that we hold these energywells.
So whenever we are clearing outa certain emotion, that like
energy right, because energy andmotion are just emotions and so
when you're clearing out thatemotion, then your body's like,
(21:19):
oh, you could handle that.
Oh, now you can handle somemore.
So it seems like you're, youknow, not progressing, but in
reality your body is saying, no,you're just able to handle more
.
And so, yeah, exactly thethings that you go through are
here just to like, always showyou a lesson, or to you know,
yeah, really a lesson, alwayshere to teach you right, always
here to train you for what,what's ever next is for you,
(21:41):
whatever is next for you yeah,totally like growth and
evolution, like you'reconstantly you know we're
constantly expanding our comfortzone and healing our nervous
system to be able to cope withthat by giving it these
disconfirming experiences, thatwe can do it, that we are safe,
that we can keep moving forwards.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
And then I think the really important thing is just
to like say, like rest and giveourselves grace along the way.
And if that means having theodd numb out here and there,
then like so be it.
Right, you know everyone needsthat, but again, it's not
turning to alcohol to do that,which would then just slow down
the whole process, the wholeprocess.
Yeah, it's awesome, it's sogood, it's process.
(22:25):
Yeah, it's so good, it's sogood.
And you're glowing.
And I know you said you've beenthrough a lot, but I think that
you know I'm, I think it'samazing that you've been able to
navigate that, that change,without turning to the alcohol.
And and again, I think you knowit does show perhaps this is a
really good path for you movingforwards as well.
And what, what have you gotplanned?
Like, what are your plans withthe business and everything over
the next kind of like three tosix months maybe?
Speaker 2 (22:47):
Yeah, so right now I do have a little like mini
retreat going to happen inJanuary.
It's just like a one day gettogether for women and it's not
really like a woman's circlebecause it's going to be like an
all day thing, so we're callingit a retreat.
I'm really excited about that.
Other than that, right now Ialso am trying to build a course
(23:08):
.
So me doing this past week thatI told you you know, I held that
space for those women and Igave them a lesson in embodiment
practice each day Just reallyhelped.
It was like one of thosestepping stones, right, like
exactly what we're talking aboutstones, right, like exactly
what we're talking about.
It helped me see that methinking about creating this
course isn't as hard as I reallythought it was going to be, as
(23:28):
my brain was making it out to be, because once I did it for
these women just like minicourses, like a mini course
pretty much it made me seem like, oh wait, no, I could totally
sit down and talk longer abouteverything that I told them and
really get into it more.
And yeah, so I think I wouldreally like to hold some group
coaching very soon and alongwith the course, and, yeah, I'm
(23:49):
really excited about that.
Speaker 1 (23:51):
I wanted to touch on something that you just said,
but I'm just going to say to thelisteners while you think as
well, you're in.
Speaker 2 (23:58):
Austin.
Right, are you in Austin?
No, I'm in West Texas, texas,in Odessa.
Yeah, no, I wish um.
I think I think Bianca is rightshe's.
Yeah, yeah, five hours away.
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Yeah, there's me being like the English slash
Australian.
That's like, oh, she's in Texas, like everyone lives really
close, and you're like, no, no,we live five hours away.
Yeah, yeah, because I have alot of American listeners, so
you never know if anyone iswhere you just said in Texas.
Speaker 2 (24:31):
Odessa, yeah, yeah, I would love to connect, um, and
that's what I'm really feelingcalled to lately as well.
It's like more in person things.
More in person, eitherworkshops, because I have been
hosting those as well.
It's like more in-person things.
More in-person, eitherworkshops, because I have been
hosting those as well, or morein-person mini retreats, really
anything.
(24:51):
I would love to host a rageritual in person.
I've only done them online andso, yeah, I'm just feeling
really called up that communityand finding more so of a sober
community too, and I feel like aa lot of spiritual women that I
have met here don't reallydrink, or they don't drink as
often, um, and so that's beenvery helpful too.
So I'm not feeling, you know,I'm not really being called out
(25:14):
on the night to go party and gotake drinks or anything like
that, not that I think that thatwould be.
I don't know.
I actually would really need toput myself in that situation in
order to know.
I think I could say no, but it'salso like I've come from this,
from just, you know, I kind ofmentioned this already, but my,
you know, I grew up in ahousehold where my parents just
drank and that was like thenormal, and my dad was an
(25:37):
alcoholic.
For me growing up, and so youknow, just the drinking
community, society was just likein my face all the time, even
my sisters.
And then I started drinking ata young age and so, I just guess
, I really never thought therewas a problem until I started to
do like this, deeper work andand yeah, I didn't really talk
(26:00):
about this yet, but because mydad was an alcoholic and him
passing away from cancer due toalcoholism, it made me get on
this initial path of wanting totry to be sober, right, why
would I want to follow in mydad's footsteps?
And I never really saw myselfas an alcoholic, I guess.
(26:20):
But I know that we all havethat gene and we all have the
strong addiction to alcohol.
I can see it and obviously nowI'm more aware of it and so,
yeah, that's really what stemmedfrom me.
Wanting to start was, like youknow, losing my dad and then me
taking these breaks.
But I was always in the ravecommunity Um, if anyone's
(26:42):
listening and goes to raves, um,and in that community there's a
lot of drinking too, and sowhen I would go, it was mainly
be this like um, everyone wouldbe always drinking Right, and so
I would always feel the call todrink during those times.
And so when I say, if peopleinvite me out, it's just I feel
(27:02):
like those are the times thatI've slipped up, because that's
what I'm just so conditioned todrink.
Every time I'm in thatatmosphere, and so I am a little
nervous about it, and I haven'treally gotten invited out to go
party or go to a rave, and so Iam a little nervous to do that.
Do I believe in myself?
And saying no, yes, and also I'mstill at the point where it's,
(27:26):
you know, still in the back ofmy head sometimes, like when I'm
around it, right, it's stilllike oh, just have a drink,
it'll be fine.
Oh, just just have one, it'sright there and it's it's been
um, yeah, yeah.
So I just really wanted anyonewho can resonate and who's going
through this process right nowand who isn't, you know, two
years in and still kind of inthis beginning journey, just
(27:46):
want you to know that you're notalone and feeling that way.
Um, I don't know when did itdid?
Does it still come up for you,didi, or did it actually stop at
some point?
Speaker 1 (27:56):
well, firstly, thank you for raising yeah it's, yeah,
it's, it's a really, reallygoing to be a really useful and
valid thing to bring up because,um it, it is a journey and a
process and, like, as you weretalking, I was thinking, you
know again about giving yourselfgrace.
I have a very similarbackground to you actually, um,
(28:17):
whereby it was very, very muchum in air quotes normal to drink
a lot in the family, and so Ithought it was normal.
And then I adopted the role ofthe party girl and I was a
bloody good party girl as well,like I was.
I loved it.
I could drink.
The guys under the table Didn'tthink it was presenting that
much of a problem.
Until I've done all this workand stepped away and I look back
(28:39):
and I'm like, wow, oh, mygoodness, wow.
And like, work and stepped awayand I look back and I'm like,
wow, oh, my goodness, wow.
And like if I am to havechildren or whenever I look at,
like my niece and nephews andtheir age and I think about what
I was doing at their age andlike what I was, you know,
putting into my body, like overand over again and everything
that came with that.
But my point is I loved a partytoo right and I still now love
(28:59):
a party, but I will say thatthere it was a journey in terms
of having that confidence to beable to let loose in those
environments, and I think you'rereally self-aware, like you
really know yourself, and Ithink that perhaps saying no at
the moment has, once you'refeeling more solid and, like you
(29:22):
start to maybe test it a littlebit, and I think already
because you do so many amazingthings with your embodiment work
and you're used to being inyour body and you're able to
express yourself and dance, likethat's going to stand you in
really good stead right and so,when the timing feels right, you
will start to go to thesethings again if you want to, and
I can absolutely promise you,with a little bit of practice
(29:42):
and again it's another form ofjust keeping, taking those baby
steps and, you know, gettingoutside of your comfort zone you
will completely, completelyrewire those pathways to the
point where you go and you endup having such an incredible
time because you're fullyconnected, you're fully in your
body.
Like you know, choose an energyand an environment and a group
of friends and the music thatyou love and go and you will
(30:06):
just be on such a natural high.
But it's about again having theboundaries with that, choosing
wisely about where you're goingto go.
And then, in answer to yourquestion, I mean, look, I went
to Ibiza 22 months in becausethat was what should have been
the end of my sober chapter.
Ibiza 22 months in, becausethat was what should have been
(30:26):
the end of my sober chapter.
And Ibiza is a notorious partyisland that I went to when I was
26.
And I don't even remember thefour days that I was there.
I mean, it was carnage and itwas all about the rave scene and
I went.
Only one of my friends wasalcohol free, the rest were
drinking and I threw myself intoit and I had one of the most
naturally high.
It felt like a spiritualexperience in the nightclubs
(30:47):
where it was just me, connectedfully to the music and just so
grateful for this decision andto get to that place.
Because that is true freedom,like when you can get to a place
where you can go and dance andparty and do all of the things
that you used to do and feeleven more electric and connected
and high and all of that.
I mean god, like what?
(31:08):
What more freedom is there thanthat, because you don't ever
have to factor in the hangovers,you don't have to factor in the
self-loathing, the shame oranything that comes along.
You can fit more of that intoyour life.
So you, you will.
If you want to get there, youwill absolutely get there.
And time frames wise depends,depends, everyone's different,
but it does take a little bit ofyou putting yourself in that
situation in the right way,because then you build up again.
(31:31):
It's just building up similarthing.
You're building up thosedisconfirming experiences that
you can do it, you know, provingyourself, um, that you can.
So I'm excited for you.
Look how passionate I get this.
I'm like this is my jam.
Speaker 2 (31:43):
I love it.
No, I love it so much.
No, and you just made me likefeel really good about it,
because I mean, just eventhinking about putting myself in
that atmosphere again excitesme in general.
I mean, I love raving.
I haven't done it in a whileand it hasn't even been because
of, like you know me on thisjourney, but it's been because
where I'm at in West Texasthere's not a lot of raves, but
(32:04):
where I used to live there wasin Dallas.
Dallas has like a lot of raves,and so just going from like
Dallas to West Texas, I reallyhaven't had the opportunity to
like even just thinking about itright now it makes me so
excited, like I would reallyenjoy it sober, for once.
I'd probably remember a wholeset which, when I would drink, I
would get so drunk that, likesometimes I wouldn't remember
things, you know.
And so this will be like awhole new experience and I've
(32:27):
been doing that for the wholetime.
I've been raving since like 2013.
So, you know, it'll be reallynice to just go without having
that shame afterwards or beinghung over the next day or
feeling extremely tired and alsofeeling this ability to leave
when I'm ready to leave, becauseI also feel like that's what
alcohol does.
(32:48):
It also like I need more.
I need more.
I can't leave.
I can't leave you get like thisFOMO you know, and like now I
don't really have that I am ableto leave when my sister invites
me out and she's having likefriends over and they're all
drinking.
I'm like all right, that'senough for me.
I'm tired.
I'm going to go to bed, youknow.
It just so much easier to staycommitted to the things that I
want and hold those boundariesyet again.
So yeah, yeah, but thank youfor that.
(33:10):
I am excited.
Speaker 1 (33:11):
Yeah, no, I love it.
I love it.
It is really, really exciting,and you'll just feel so proud of
yourself as well, and that,that will, will you know?
yeah, that again, like I said,that seeps into every area of
your life and it's it'sdefinitely you will do it.
I can actually see, like whenyou were talking, I was like can
imagine me, you and Bianca,going to like a sober rave, or
(33:32):
even, you know, depending on howpeople feel like I actually
still quite like going to placeswhere people are still drinking
, if it's a great environment,because it kind of it doesn't
magnetize it so much thateveryone's sober.
It's just like you just get inand feel it like you would in a
normal situation, but you're theone there with a bit of a
spring in your step because youknow you're not going to be
feeling shit the next day.
So, yeah, that's really cool.
(33:53):
And also thank you for bringingup community as well earlier,
because I think that's huge,that's something that everybody
needs on their sober journey.
And you know I did a programprobably I reckon I was about
three months in because I alwayssay the three month mark was
like a little bit morechallenging for me, because
that's when some of my deeperwounds and insecurities were
(34:14):
coming up, because I had takenquite a few breaks before and
always thought, like you know,it's the answer to everything.
You know sober glow, like allof that stuff, feeling great
loads of energy.
But then you know, emotionswould come up that I wasn't used
to and insecurities would comeup that I wasn't used to and I
had to process those.
So it was tricky.
And also I would get to likethe three month mark and be like
(34:36):
, okay, right, what's next?
What do I do next?
What's more here?
And you know you can get pulledback to your old friends and
things like that, or old habitsmaybe.
And so I joined this program andI did it for like 16 weeks and
that was where I actuallylearned about what I wanted to
truly do with being alcohol freeand like discover my true
purpose.
(34:56):
And that's how Sober Chapterswas born and all of that.
But it also gave me this reallystrong sense of community with.
It was like maybe like 20, 30alcohol-free women all over the
states and that's why I seem tohave such a an amazing network
now in the alcohol-free space.
But that has been a huge giftand a huge, huge part of what I
needed and what I needed tobreak, break through that mark,
(35:19):
I think as well.
So yeah, if you can, you know,tap into that.
But I think we also attractthat into our lives so much more
when we are alcohol free, likewe attract in other alcohol free
humans like for sure the morewe're on this path, and it
sounds like you've already got abit of that going on,
especially in the spiritualspace, which I love for you.
Speaker 2 (35:40):
Yeah, no, I am, thank you.
Yeah, no, I really am, and I'menjoying, you know, having these
friends who don't, you know,just rely on drinking and
partying.
But we're really able to createthis like deeper connection and
you know, like the retreats orthe sister circles, that we're
doing it.
It also makes me realize howmuch, like you know, how much, I
love actually doing that, likemaybe it was always just me
(36:03):
wanting to be in community whenI would go to these raves.
It wasn't that I was wanting toparty, because I feel like that
was always in my head, like I'mjust going to party, but in
reality, I was searching forcommunity, I was searching for
connection, I was searching fordeeper understanding, because we
all enjoyed the same music andwe all like to dance, and so,
yeah, I'm just finding communityin different ways now and
understanding myself better andbeing committed to who I want to
(36:26):
be, and that's just been so, sohelpful.
So, yeah, community 100%, and Ialso know what kind of
communities you have that I canjoin.
Speaker 1 (36:34):
Me.
Yes, oh my God.
That's so funny because I waslike I'm going to bring up my
program because this is, likeyou know, literally what we're
talking about.
So I am literally launching.
Well, first of all, I've quitmy corporate job completely, so
I am now all in with soberchapters.
So I finished the corporateworld after 17 years in
recruitment all I've ever knowna career.
(36:56):
That has just been such ablessing to me like I've been
all over the world with it.
Now, obviously, in Australia Iwent part-time in April to be
able to serve more clients andthen it just got to the point
where I was never going to beable to you know, really do what
I know I'm meant to do you knowin this lifetime if I didn't
say goodbye and close the dooron, I guess, that chapter which
(37:17):
has been the recruitment world.
So, yes, all in with SoberChapters.
Because, as, as well, I'mlaunching my group coaching
program which is called soberchapters 100.
Right, and it's an 100 dayalcohol-free transformation,
I've said, for the mind, body,heart and soul, because it's
literally incorporating, likeall of the work I've done over
(37:39):
the last eight years, like Ihave spent literally thousands
on mentors, coaches, programs inall of those various like
aspects, and I've brought it alltogether and it's going to be
weekly modules, so 14 weeklymodules and also 14 weekly group
coaching calls as well.
So it's starting on January,the 12th next year, because I
(37:59):
thought that would just be agreat way to set up 2025 and
it'll be, yeah, like unlocking,like weekly from there.
So run through, I think Iworked out it runs through to
around, like April basically,and there's a Black Friday
discount happening.
I haven't even like launched itofficially yet.
Speaker 2 (38:18):
But we're just happening today.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Talk about divine timing.
So I'm sending the um liveemail out to my um, my
close-knit community, by mymailing list this afternoon and
then I'm going to be launchingit on Instagram next week and I
think this episode so everyonelistening this episode it will
be live and it will be actuallyBlack Friday.
(38:40):
It will be friday, oh mygoodness.
So the black friday sale it'snormally be 699 us dollars and
it's actually going to be 369for a week next week over black
friday, which is super like,super reasonable, and there's so
much content in there and I'vepoured my like heart and soul
(39:00):
into it, as you can imagine yesthere you go.
Thank you for asking, and Iwould love you to be a part of
it.
Speaker 2 (39:07):
I would love that yeah, no, okay, no.
I really feel like this isdoable.
I wanted to ask you like do youhave to be on day one or do can
you be at any point of yourjourney?
Speaker 1 (39:17):
no.
So a really big part of themessage that's a great question
as well is that this is for kindof like sober, curious people
that have taken breaks here andthere, that want to go deeper
with the inner work.
They want to, you know, a deeptransformation, because it is
such a powerful opportunity toreally go on that journey of
self-discovery without thehangovers like holding you back
and the and the alcohol.
And.
But it's also for people thatare perhaps newly alcohol free,
(39:41):
like yourself, or even peoplethat are long-term alcohol-free
and they just haven't reallygone in and done that deeper
work.
So it is going to be literallya mix of people.
But, um, the only people I'vesaid that it probably wouldn't
be suitable is for people thathave never taken a break before,
because this is about reallygoing into the deeper work
rather than necessarily likecoming off the alcohol so much,
(40:02):
um, but just, yeah, goingthrough a lot of the stuff like
you know, really going throughlike the ego patterns as well,
getting to know all of those,just so much stuff that you all
really resonate with.
Um, yeah, I'm so excited, Ilove it.
Yeah, how funny and congrats,that's awesome.
Thank you, thank you yeah, itis.
it is always a divine thing,isn't it?
Like you say, we were meant tochat a couple of weeks ago and,
(40:24):
yeah, I would love to have youin there as well.
So, yeah, for anyone listening,go grab your discount.
Go grab it.
Yeah, it will be back to 699after that, but there is also a
lead magnet coming out for howto go through a festive period
as well alcohol-free, andthere'll be a little bit of a
discount in there too.
But your best bet is blackfriday, so yay awesome.
Speaker 2 (40:47):
Yeah, I'll definitely .
I'll definitely do it.
I mean, I'm down, I'm alreadysign me up, there we go meet us
both, um, thank you and thanksfor sharing so much.
Speaker 1 (40:57):
And is there anything that you would want to say to
anyone that is a little bitsober, curious at the moment,
that wants to go on the journeythat you've gone on, like what
comes to your heart on that?
Speaker 2 (41:07):
yeah, yeah, most definitely.
I would love to just say thatif you're you know you've been
having this calling for a whileand if you're listening to this
and you're resonating, I wantyou to know that you know, like,
let this be the nudge for youto actually go for it and and go
, go for it.
And if you mess up, like, don'tbe hard on yourself completely,
just show yourself some loveand compassion and try again if
(41:30):
that's what you feel called todo.
But, um, you know, I'll say,feel free to reach out to me if,
if you want.
I'm in the very early stages ofmy journey too, and I've
restarted multiple times and andyeah, you got this 100%.
Um, reach out to Didi and ifyou know any embodiment
practices, tap into that duringthat time to like, um, yeah,
(41:52):
that's really all I would haveto say is you've got this.
If you're feeling that deepinner calling.
That is kind of what you toldme, didi, like we were talking
about spirituality and how Ijust felt like it connected with
everything and how I had thisdeep moment of doing breath work
and it came to me that I am themedicine that I was searching
for.
(42:12):
I am everything that I wassearching for.
I don't need anything externalto give me what I'm needing
internally.
I need me to give me that andI'm already powerful and
magnetic and all the things thatI already need, and so tap into
that frequency of love and andunderstanding that you are
everything that you already needand also that you are the magic
(42:33):
and the medicine.
Speaker 1 (42:35):
Um and yeah, oh beautiful.
Yeah, so true, we don't needany of the external substance at
all.
And if you will only deepenthat connection to yourself more
and more and more and more asyour journey goes on, so yeah,
thank you so much.
I'm so excited for you andsuper excited for this program
(42:55):
next year too.
So where can people find you,dakota?
Speaker 2 (43:00):
Yeah, so you can currently find me on Instagram
at Dakotablackstone.
You can also go to my website,dakota blackstonecom.
I have different offerings forone-on-ones.
I also will be having my courseup soon.
I also have some freebies inthere.
Also, my DMS are open, so feelfree to shoot me a DM just to
(43:20):
connect or to talk or to ask meanything I would love to connect
with, to talk or to ask meanything I would love to connect
with you Again, just reallylike creating community.
Speaker 1 (43:28):
So gorgeous, all right, lovely, well, thank you
so much and yeah, we'll catch upagain soon.
Thanks for coming on.
Speaker 2 (43:35):
Okay, yeah, thank you , bye everyone.
Speaker 1 (43:40):
Thank you for listening to today's episode of
the Sober Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
(44:00):
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on.
Feeling called, I would loveyou to leave a review from
whatever platform it is thatyou're listening on, and if you
send me a screenshot of thatreview to dd at SoberChapterscom
, I will put you into the mix ofwinning a free one-on-one
coaching session with me.
If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
follow along on Instagram it'sSober underscore Chapters You'll
(44:25):
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
(44:49):
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
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