January 9, 2025 • 50 mins
Join us as we welcome Kelly Allen, a women's health coach from Bristol, UK, who opens up about her inspiring journey through sobriety, self-discovery and spirituality. Kelly shares bout her insights into her upbringing in an alcohol-prevalent household and how it shaped her struggles with drinking, anxiety and an eating disorder. She reflects on how she found stability with her husband Danny, only to face new challenges when motherhood steered her back to alcohol as a coping tool. Kelly's story offers a powerful testament to the resilience and wisdom gained through life's transitions.
2020 was a year of unexpected awakenings for Kelly. Faced with the loss of her mother and the global chaos of the pandemic, she embarked on a spiritual journey that reshaped her life. Kelly speaks about the profound impact of noticing recurring signs, like the number 11, which led her to explore spirituality through books and practices like yoga, journalling and women's circles. From adopting positive micro habits to the importance of community, Kelly's experience underscores the transformative power of self-care and reflection, offering listeners relatable insights into navigating personal growth and sobriety amidst adversity.
Sobriety has illuminated a path to deeper personal and spiritual enrichment for Kelly, a journey she passionately shares with us. Beyond the age of 40, she discovered a newfound purpose and emotional freedom that comes from fully feeling life's highs and lows. By maintaining authenticity and fostering community support, Kelly illustrates the empowering liberation of an alcohol-free lifestyle. Whether you're beginning your sober journey or seeking to enhance it, Kelly's story and the resources offered in this episode provide invaluable guidance and inspiration.
You can find Kelly and the services she offers on instagram vitality_health_wellbeing
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you, so grab yourself your favorite
cuppa and come join me in asafe space to listen, to share
(00:46):
and to feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast, and
(01:07):
today I'm joined by the lovelyKelly Allen, who is a women's
health coach from a place that'svery dear to my heart in
Bristol in the UK.
We recently interacted onInstagram and I just I knew that
I wanted to get her on thepodcast to share more about her
story, so I just want to welcomeyou, kelly, to the podcast.
Thank you for being here, thankyou for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Dee Dee.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It's wonderful, thank you.
And yeah, this is Kelly's firstpodcast and her first
opportunity to share a lot moreabout her journey, and I'm
really excited to hear aboutthat.
So how about you start off,kelly, with whatever you know
comes to your heart in terms ofintroducing yourself and your
journey so far, perhaps withwith going alcohol free as well?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Okay, so I'm Kelly, I'm 53 years old, I'm a mother,
a daughter and a wife, and I'm anaturopathic health and
wellness coach.
So with naturopathic health andwellness coaching, you look at
the whole person so kind of mind, body and spirit and look at
any imbalances that are thereand help people to create health
(02:15):
goals, you know, throughguidance and personalised
support.
So that's what I do as a job.
Yeah, my journey is quite along one because I'm 53.
So I thought a really good wayto kind of talk about it would
be to put it into the threearchetypes that woman goes
(02:39):
through in her life which ismaiden, mother and crow life, um
, which is maiden, mother andcrow, um.
So maiden is about your youthand, um, it's about finding your
identity, self-exploration.
And then you've got your motherphase, which is nurturing, um,
but that doesn't have to be achild, it can be anything that's
(03:01):
really sort of like precious toyou, um, and it's about
responsibilities and building.
And then you've got your cronephase, which is what I'm in now,
which is kind of aboutauthenticity and reflection and,
yeah, just kind of wisdom,really, although I'm still
learning, so, yeah.
(03:22):
So let's start with Maiden.
So I grew up in a house wheredrinking every day was normal,
or being around people that hadbeen drinking was normal.
When I was very small I used tothink, oh, dad's a bit
different today.
You know what's going on.
(03:43):
He's not his usual self.
And then, as I grew up, Irealised that he'd been drinking
alcohol and this is what madehim change.
So, yeah, I mean I don't wantto sort of sound like a victim
or I don't want to judge himbecause I love him dearly and we
(04:04):
spend a lot of time togetherand we get on really well but at
the time it was just juststrange, you know, we'd have
conversations and then the nextmorning he didn't remember them.
So that sort of made me feelvery unearthed and insecure as a
child.
And, yeah, I grew up kind oflike just feeling sort of not
(04:30):
very secure really.
And then at 13, I starteddrinking myself and I still had
a lot of anxiety and lowself-esteem.
So I ended up with a sort ofnasty sort of eating disorder,
(04:50):
um, but that made me feel incontrol because I felt like my
life was out of control really,um.
So, yeah, I started drinkingmyself, um, had that nasty
eating disorder and then I justsort of turned into sort of a
party girl really.
(05:10):
As I got into my late teens Idid have periods of sobriety and
I always felt really great, butthen, having different friend
groups through your sort ofteens and late teens, I always
got dragged back into drinkingagain, um, and my life was
pretty chaotic really, um, untilI met my husband, danny, um,
(05:35):
when I was 24, and then lifestarted to kind of calm down
then and we started building ahome together, um, and sort of
wanting to have a child.
So we still parted but therewasn't all that chaos sort of
going on really.
Um.
So, yeah, when we decided tokind of go for having a child, I
(06:03):
sort of cut down on my drinkingand we both did, really in hope
that we would conceive.
And we did conceive and then wehad our daughter.
So you know, things settleddown then.
I wasn't sort of drinkingthrough my pregnancy.
I wasn't drinking when I wasbreastfeeding, but then I sort
(06:26):
of I absolutely loved motherhoodand my daughter was.
I wanted her so much.
But you know I was tired andmotherhood is like a massive
change, you know, howeverprepared you are for it, it just
turned your life upside down.
So I went back to the onlything that I knew, you know, I
(06:48):
could do to cope, which wasdrinking.
So I didn't have any tools as Igrew up, you know, to kind of
help me stay off the alcohol.
Um, I was kind of just I alwaysfelt really out there and alone
and like I didn't have anythingto pull in, you know, to kind
of help me when I was goingthrough these sort of periods of
(07:09):
feeling out of control, um.
So I kind of started drinkingagain, um, and I was drinking at
home, um, when she went to bed,because I kind of felt like I
could hide it better from a baby.
So there was a lot of guilt andshame around my drinking and I
(07:30):
think it was because thedrinking that I'd seen wasn't
very healthy.
You know, it's like a copingmechanism.
So that's how I was taught.
How to cope with my emotionswas to drink, really sort of to
numb and kind of like just sortof anesthetize and, you know,
(07:50):
sedate.
So I never felt good aboutdrinking when my daughter was
young and I did have lots ofguilt and shame and I just
didn't know what to do with thatguilt and shame.
And then as she got older itgot harder to hide and I could
just see history repeatingitself again and I just thought
(08:12):
I can't do this.
You know, I don't want her tosee me drinking all the time and
learn that that's how you dealwith things.
And yeah, it was just really,really, really hard that part of
my life.
I just felt like an awfulmother and it got to the point
where I thought this has got tostop.
(08:34):
So I made a decision to stopdrinking and it was hard.
I kind of was starting to get alittle bit sort of is there
anything else out there?
Because I didn't really haveany faith or trust.
I was a bit of a control freak,you know.
(08:54):
I wanted to know the outcome ofeverything.
I found it really hard to letgo.
So anyway, I decided to stopdrinking.
Um, I did go to AA for a littlebit, um, and that is a
wonderful tool, um, and Ilearned a lot there.
But I just wasn't confidentenough to sit there and talk to
(09:18):
a bunch of strangers about, youknow so much.
There was so much there.
So I did learn that grouptherapy is very powerful when I
went there.
But I decided that I was goingto go it alone.
So I did.
The first year was really,really tricky.
(09:39):
I was the only person out of myfriendship group that didn't
drink.
I was the only person out of myfriendship group that didn't
drink.
I didn't know what to say, Ididn't know how to explain it to
them.
Um, I didn't have theconfidence that I've got now.
So I kind of white knuckled ita little bit, you know.
But as you sort of build themonths up of being alcohol free,
(10:00):
you do get very motivated andobviously, obviously the
benefits were amazing.
You know, the guilt and shamehad gone, which was brilliant.
I was full of life.
So this was kind of my early40s.
I remember having an alcoholfree 40th.
So I think I must have given upalcohol around about the age of
(10:23):
39.
So the first sort of part of mysort of um, motherhood, kind of
like sobriety, um was reallygood, um, and I completely threw
myself into being a mum.
You know I wanted to be thebest mum that I could.
Um, I kind of we moved and wemoved into a house that was
(10:45):
completely run down.
So it was a massive project andI think I kind of lost myself a
little bit with being a mum and, you know, having this big
project to do, and I kind offeel like my alcohol free years
although they were good, like myalcohol free years, although
they were good and I did learn alot more coping mechanisms I
(11:15):
think they were quite ego drivenBecause it was all about
proving to myself that I couldgo without a drink, proven to
everyone else I could go withouta drink.
So it was more ego based.
Now I look back um, and ofcourse that's not gonna last um.
So when I got to about 45, 46,47, um, I started going through
the menopause, uh, orperimenopause, and um, my
(11:37):
daughter was kind of like goinginto a teenager by then and um,
we clashed, um, I still hadn'tlearned how to kind of deal with
um argumentative situations,you know, because I made quite a
lot of bad boyfriend choices inmy sort of teens.
(12:00):
My relationship with my dad wasstill a little bit fragile, um,
and when I went into earlymotherhood it kind of improved.
But then, as it got intoteenage years, I we started
arguing again because I don'tthink my dad always agreed with
my choices.
You know parenting and stufflike that anyway.
(12:22):
So my body was changing and Irealized that I was changing and
I just kind of like just knewthat there was this big change
going on inside of me.
So I started kind of lookingmore outside of myself for
answers and started to get alittle bit of a spiritual faith.
So now we're kind of gettinginto my late 40s and then at 49,
(12:50):
my life was sort of quitechaotic again.
I completely lost myself.
I was craving you know something, to sort of as a crutch craving
, you know something as a crutchand things were just not good
(13:10):
at all.
And then 2020 came, and thatwas just a year that I will
never forget.
So I had a few personal thingsgoing on in the background, and
then I had this phone call inthe middle of the night from my
dad telling me that my mum hadpassed away in her sleep.
(13:32):
And I just flew around to thehouse and it was true, and there
was my dad.
You know, as the days and weekswent on, I'd realised that my
mom was a buffer between me andmy dad and that was gone.
So I was faced with my dad andour sort of up and down
(13:54):
relationship through my life.
He needed my help.
How was I going to do that?
And then, two weeks after that,we locked down.
The whole world stopped.
Um, so we had a really smallfuneral, which was really
difficult.
Um, I was a self-employedhairdresser at that time, so my
(14:19):
business just went.
Um, yeah, I've beenself-employed since I was 23, so
I've always been aself-employed person.
Um, so that went and, yeah, Ijust my word was crumbling
around me and I just everydirection that I looked in,
there was just a shut door.
(14:40):
There was nothing.
It was just, yeah, everythingwas crumbling around me and I
had a drink, I didn't know whatelse to do, and it was as though
the universe was saying to meyou need to stop, you need yeah,
you need to stop completely,you need to stop, you need to
(15:02):
slow down, need to stopcompletely.
You need to stop, you need toslow down, you need to.
You can't carry on like this.
You have to do some inner workon yourself.
Um, yeah, it was reallydifficult.
So, um, I sort of just stoppedand I started seeing, um, the
(15:22):
number 11 everywhere and I waslike, why do I started seeing
the number 11 everywhere?
And I was like, why do I keepseeing the number 11?
And it was 7.11 in the morning,8.11 in the morning, 9.11.
So I sort of, you know, had alittle look online and I was
thinking, wow, I think someone'strying to speak to me,
(15:42):
someone's trying to sort ofguide me.
Wow, I think someone's tryingto speak to me, someone's trying
to sort of guide me.
So I sort of started openingmyself up to, um, anything
really that would help me.
I was desperate, I was on myknees, I, I was just looking for
for something, um.
So I started, um reading allthese amazing books, um.
(16:04):
I don't know if you've everread any of them, didi, but one
of them's called Women that RunWith the Wolves.
This is by Clarissa PinkolaEstes, and this is about how us
women go through thesearchetypes and we're forever
changing.
That's what we do.
We just change constantly andwe just shed our skin and we
(16:28):
become a new person and we'vegot this innate intuition in us
that's built in and that's howwe, it's our compass and that's
how we should live our livesthrough our intuition.
And I'd lost my intuition.
I was so busy with outsidethings that I'd forgotten about
(16:54):
my intuition, and it was just avery powerful moment.
I read another amazing bookcalled the Red Tent, and this is
a love story, but it's about awoman and her whole life, and
the red tents were places wherewomen would go centuries and
centuries ago when they hadtheir, their cycle and they
(17:18):
would gather and they would lookafter each other.
So I read that book and then Iread read another one, um,
called Belonging Yourself Home,by Toko Paterna.
Um, this one is again aboutfinding yourself, um, and I
think I'd always been such apeople pleaser and a control
(17:38):
freak.
I'd not really found my true,my true self, really.
Um, so I started studying themoon cycles and I realized that,
you know, again, we're attachedto those through our cycles.
Um, I bought loads of crystals,I went to Glastonbury, I just
(17:58):
went all out.
You know, um and I did that fora couple of years and obviously
sort of it came out of lockdown,didn't we?
And the world kind of umstarted to go back to normal, um
, and I kind of thought tomyself after those two years I
felt like I'd been in thislittle bubble for two years and,
(18:20):
um, when we sort of came out oflockdown, I sort of stepped out
and I was like, ok, so what doI do now?
Like what happens now?
So I remember going to a yogaclass.
It was one of the first yogaclasses to open after lockdown
and I discovered that my yogateacher was a naturopathic
(18:40):
nutritionalist and I'm going tosay her name because she's been
such an inspiration to me.
Her name's Hayley McAlyndon andshe was doing a detox and
nutrition course.
So I kind of like thought, oh,that sounds good, it's like a
sister circle online.
So I did that and then I startedreplacing all my really
(19:04):
negative habits that I had withtiny little micro habits that
she taught me.
So I would sort of, you know,dry brush every day and sort of,
you know, yeah, just use thesetechniques and these nutrition
tools that she'd given me andI'd always been a really healthy
person.
Actually, I sort of exercised,um, because my I ballet danced
(19:28):
all my life and then I'd alwaysdone some sort of exercise, um,
and I'd been practicing yoga foryears really, but it stopped
when we locked down, um, so Istarted replacing all those
habits and I just started reallygetting into, you know, wanting
to know how the body works andsort of putting the mind, body
and spirit thing together, um, Ihad a real calling as well to
(19:52):
sort of um do women's circles.
So, um, I've met somebody, um,just as we were coming out of
lockdown.
That was um, another yogateacher.
I've got loads of friends thatare yoga teachers, um, and and
we started doing um.
You know, we started doingwomen's circles together.
So we'd gather lots of womentogether and we talked about the
(20:14):
sabbats, um, which are theeight sort of celebrations of
the year, um and um, it's reallynice to know about those
because they really connect youto the earth, um, and also
they're linked to your feelings.
So you know, before we came onhere, we were talking about
(20:34):
spring and that's a wonderfultime to detox.
You know, january is a greattime to start things, but really
the spring is even better time.
So we sort of taught thesewomen all about connecting to
Mother Nature, and I pretty muchlive my life like that.
Now I'm always wondering, youknow, like there's a new moon
(20:55):
today, so I thought what alovely day for you and I to meet
.
I was really pleased about that, yeah, yeah.
And so, yeah, I kind of livedmy life through that really now,
um, and then I just got moreand more into nutrition and um.
I decided to start studyingabout how the body works, um, in
(21:18):
March 2003.
And then I studied Ayurveda andnutrition, and then this year
in March, I just thought I'mgoing to go for it, I'm going to
do the naturopathic healthcoaching.
Obviously, in the meantime,I've stopped drinking again.
I've got this massive toolbox,um.
(21:45):
When I drank the last time, um,it was really different
actually, because I didn't beatmyself up.
I looked at myself from areally nonjudgmental place and
that's what made me think tomyself if I can do that with
myself, I can do that with otherpeople as well.
You know, sort of look at theirlife and their habits, um, and,
you know, help them.
(22:05):
So I have sort of attractedquite a few people that I'm
helping with their drinking nowas well, um, so yeah, that's
kind of it.
We're here now and I qualifiedin August as a coach and that's
my path.
Now I'm fully dedicated to it,um, and I want to help people
(22:30):
live happy, healthy lives thatare mainly alcohol free, really.
So, yeah, that's it, yeah thankyou, kelly.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
There's so many moments where I was like, oh
there's.
It's funny because, like I say,I always have this like
intuitive nudge to reach out tocertain people to come on the
podcast and I definitely hadthat with you and I knew I knew
nothing about your story and Ikind of like rolling it that way
, because I sit here and I'mlike, oh, that's why I had the
nudge, oh, that's like, and youknow, we're all mirroring each
(23:04):
other all the time, right, it'sjust quite fascinating because,
as you're talking, there wasvarious parts, particularly from
your maiden era era, as youcalled it, which I love because,
yeah, I very much love studyingthe feminine archetypes as well
so there's a little bit of asimilarity there with what you
were talking about, um, but withyour maiden era and you know
the kind of relationship withyour dad and and drinking from a
(23:26):
very young age that was very,very similar to me, like I
actually, um, I have learned ahuge amount about how the
relationship with my father hasplayed out through like my life
and with a lot of my patternsaround like drinking.
My, my ego essentially is um,made up from my relationship
with my dad, because I was veryboisterous with my dad.
(23:49):
I was the youngest of fourgirls and I feel like I was
almost like the son in a way,and we connected very much
through drinking and, similar towhat you said, my dad love him
dearly.
I've done a lot of work aroundthat but, yeah, it was a very
unpredictable environment andultimately there was, you know,
a little bit of chaos and mynervous system, you know, has
(24:13):
wreaked havoc from that.
You know, a lot of unsafety andthings like this which I now
know played such a part in you,my patterns going forwards and,
you know, never really addressedthem at that time and so, yeah,
it was interesting when youwere talking about that and it's
that that, you know, desire forconnection, isn't it, I suppose
?
And and in and on all the wrongplaces as well.
(24:35):
Yes, yeah, and then when youwent on to say about seeing the
numbers, obviously I was likeclapping because that was a huge
, huge part of my own experience.
I feel like I was very muchguided to give up alcohol, yes,
(24:56):
but also I think it's just, it'sbeen incredible.
I think it's just, it's beenincredible.
You know, when we start to seethose numbers and, like you said
, you felt that somebody wascommunicating with you, whatever
that you know, whatever yourbeliefs are, that's when you
really sit up and start to getcurious, don't you?
And you really start to be open.
And then that's when you areable to listen to those nudges
(25:16):
and I like to call them almostlike soul's whispers and we get
led down a path when we do quiet, quiet down and listen.
And you know the way that youread those books and I had other
ones that I read.
That, gabby Bernstein, theuniverse has your back right was
a huge one for me, likeabsolutely massive, and I've
actually just been recentlygoing through a huge transition,
(25:37):
as you know, with leavingcorporate and going all in with
this, and I got I got guided togo back to that book, which I
haven't read since 2019, when Ikind of first went through.
I call it my spiritualawakening and I reread it as
more of a like sober chaptersbusiness owner, where I'm
needing to like dig deep into myfaith again because it's just
(25:57):
so much uncertainty with thetransition and I was like, oh,
my goodness, wow, like I knowwhy I was guided to read this
right now.
Definitely wasn't it?
When you go on this path, is itjust all starts to kind of?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
it unfolds, doesn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
And the more you let go, themore you realize that things
just start to come in.
Then, if you're not open, it's,it's blocking.
You know all this wonderfulstuff that you can potentially
get.
Yeah, so relaxing and lettinggo and just not knowing the
(26:32):
outcome of things is somethingthat I find quite powerful.
Now.
I like doing that you know andI feel I feel safe doing it now,
whereas I didn't before.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I had to know, what the outcome was going to be and
that just caused me so muchstress yeah, it sounds like
you've had a huge transitionfrom where you were really,
really busy, probably a lot morein your head.
I guess, in your head, andthat's where it's just really
difficult to be open, to see allof that stuff, isn't it?
(27:04):
It is.
We are almost forced to comeback to that place.
Yeah, you know, whether youknow it's a rock bottom, or you
know you feel like the rug'sbeing pulled from underneath you
or whatever it looks like youknow that it was always
happening.
When you look back, it wasalways happening for a reason
and it brings you back to thatplace where you can just
definitely yeah, just trust.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I think we've all got our paths, haven't we?
We've got our gifts and, um, tobe of service, and I think you
know that's where I'm happiestwhen I'm of service to somebody,
but I'm, with it's, coming fromsuch a place of, you know, love
really and wanted to give and,yeah, just kind of finding
(27:47):
yourself is the best thing everreally.
It really is, it's, it's lovely, and then you can take that out
with you into the world and,yeah, just share it, yeah yeah,
it's gorgeous and, like you say,you know the wisdom element.
There's just so much wisdom thatyou've gained, yeah, along the
way, it's the best thing thosethings that happened to me were
(28:09):
the best things that happened tome at the time.
They were so hard, um, but nowthe last four years of my life
have been the mosttransformative years, um, and
I'm really looking forward tothe future.
I really am and what it's,what's going to be out there, um
, yeah, and I do feel the moreauthentic you are, the better,
(28:34):
really, um, we're all different.
We've all got our own stories.
We've all got our own journeys.
All our journeys are different.
There's no right or wrong.
Um, it's just about listeningand sort of just walking that
path.
Really, that's meant for youyeah yeah, and what?
Speaker 1 (28:53):
practices, would you say, have helped you to really
come back to yourself, like youmentioned a couple like with
yoga and things like that butwhat do you do on a daily basis?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
journaling is the backbone of my sobriety, without
a doubt.
Um, yeah, because you can justlook at something that you've
written and you can see it froma different perspective.
It's out of your head so it'snot going round and round.
You can really look at yourshadows then and pick things
(29:28):
apart.
I think I've read that therehave been studies that
reflection is the best way tolearn.
If you can write and look andreflect on what you've written.
So if you can write and lookand reflect on what you've
(29:50):
written, you can learn a lotfrom your behaviours and start
making small changes to kind ofalter them.
Like you said, doing a lot ofwork around relationships, you
know I've done loads of workaround my dad, you know.
So journaling has been reallygood.
I quite like somatic movementas well.
I've kind of looked into thesort of vagus nerve and um, sort
(30:11):
of just doing somatic movement,which can be anything really.
So you can just tap or um, justsway, um, and just kind of
close your eyes and just sort ofmove your body.
Um, that's really lovely.
Um, humming and singing arereally great as well, you know.
(30:32):
They're really good for sort ofsettling your nervous system
down.
Um, yoga is my, my love, Ithink, really, and obviously
you've got the breath there aswell.
What else do I use?
Yeah, journaling is my mainthing.
Exercise is a really good onefor me as well.
(30:54):
I love exercising.
It doesn't have to be anythingtoo crazy, it can just be going
for a walk, you know, around theblock to clear your head.
I love being in nature as well,where you're just away from
everything.
Yeah, those are my main things,I think, and I do a little bit
(31:16):
of prayer as well, and I'm a lotquieter in my head and I try to
be present and I take to try totake one day at a time.
Instead of racing ahead andlooking at the whole picture, I
just think, yeah, baby steps,one day at a time, um, that
(31:37):
helps with overwhelm.
So those are my main tools thatI use.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
yes, yeah yeah, I would.
Yeah, definitely nodding at afew of those journaling's been
absolutely huge for me in so, somany ways like it's so, so
great for, like in the moment,in terms of just, you know,
processing emotions, yeah, yourthoughts out on paper, all of
that.
But you mentioned the reflectionthing is so powerful and
(32:04):
actually, funnily enough, againrecently I was like guided to go
and I have, like this drawerfull of my old journals, yeah,
and I love it because I've beenon this real path, you know,
since pretty much 2020, to behonest, like kind of like 2016
was when things really sort offell apart for me in terms of,
(32:24):
you know, love and work and allof those things my rock bottom,
I suppose.
And then 2018, I was gettingreally really curious and then I
started doing a lot of likebreaks from alcohol, journaling
about it you know, really,really.
What I now know was that I wasmanifesting my life back then
yeah, journaling, and I hadn'trealized it and honestly, kelly,
(32:48):
when I go and look at myjournals now, it gives me
goosebumps.
And yeah, I'm actually writing abook at the moment and there's
all these snippets from myjournal I'm gonna be putting in
there because it's, it's like itwas so obvious like all the
answers were yeah in thosejournals and I didn't really
know it's.
It's like it was so obvious,like all the answers were yeah
in those journals and I didn'treally know it at the time.
But it's been.
I say it's been pretty much themost powerful tool as well for
(33:11):
me in creating, yeah, this lifeand along the sobriety journey.
I think, when you use it inline with sobriety as well, like
that clarity piece, um, it's,it's really, really powerful it
is, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (33:24):
journaling is the thing.
I just love it so much.
Um, it really is amazing.
Yeah, I agree with you 100%,and we've all got the answers
inside of us.
Um, it's just finding them, andI think getting them out onto
paper is manifestation, andalcohol just blocks that.
(33:45):
It just takes that away.
You know you're not right whenyou've been drinking.
It's just, I mean, you know itupsets all the chemicals in your
brain.
It takes days to get out ofyour system.
It is a real manifestationblock 100%.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah, 100% manifestation block and also
just a disconnect from what youtruly want as well.
It is, you know it can be hardenough to you know, have the
clarity on what steps to takeforward.
But I think what's clear isthat you know, for you you've
been on this path back to whoyou truly are and back to you
know using these soul's gifts ofyours and aligning with that
(34:23):
purpose, and I think that youknow that's a huge part of it as
well.
It's going back to to doing whatwe're truly meant to do and
being who we're meant to be inthis life.
You know, and it's all part ofit, isn't it so much?
And how has it been?
It sounds like you reallyrecognized.
Then there was a part of, like,your surprise journey where it
(34:44):
wasn't necessarily you didn'tutilize it perhaps in the same
way, and then now it's verydifferent.
Oh, completely yes.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, like I said, sort of I used to judge myself
and it was ego driven, but nowit's not, it's done with love
and care and like I'm talking tomyself as a child, you know
sort of patience.
And yeah, I didn't nurturemyself.
You know I was too busynurturing everybody else, and
(35:15):
now I'm nurturing myself, butthen you can give from a fuller
cup when you do that.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Yeah, so yeah, then you can give from a fuller cup
when you do that.
Um, yeah, yeah, so, yes, Ithink it sort of goes to show,
because I think you know itisn't a case, it's it.
I always say it's about so muchmore than removing alcohol.
You need to, you kind of needto go deep with that inner work,
don't you, and really go onthat path of personal and
spiritual growth and marry thosetwo together and really take
advantage, yes, of doing all ofthat work whilst you're alcohol
(35:49):
free.
Yes, because that's where thetrue transformation actually
lies.
Yeah, so it sounds like youwere so busy with everything
else that you had on before thatyou didn't get that opportunity
to do it in that way, whereasnow you do and you have been yes
, absolutely yes, I I do have alot of I.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I have my self-care practices and they're
non-negotiable.
You know I I have to have fiveminutes to myself.
I have to, you know, go out fora walk every day, and
something's have to, you know,go out for a walk every day and
something's got to give you knowfor you to be able to give that
to yourself.
And I would encourage anybodythat wants to make changes to
(36:33):
love yourself enough to giveyourself some time and you can
start with a little bit of timeand build that up.
But something's got to give foryou to be able to, you know, go
alcohol free and be able to dothat, work and yeah, and and be
brave as well.
You know I do think that, um, alot of people struggle with
(36:58):
they want to be sober, but theysort of feel guilty about giving
themselves that time to startworking on themselves.
Does that make sense?
Because you know you don'tdrink, because you're happy.
You know, and I found with mycoaching that you know, people
(37:18):
do drink and it is stopping themfrom becoming the best version
of themselves, and I really tryto encourage them.
You know people do drink and itis stopping them from becoming
the best version of themselves,and I really try to encourage
them.
You know, you give this toyourself.
Give yourself this time.
You know, I always give myclient a journal and I say this
is your best friend for the nextthree months.
Everything goes in here.
(37:38):
You know, you'll learn so muchfrom what you put in that book,
um, and then you can startlooking at what you need to do
to to go alcohol free.
So, yeah, it's um, you've gotto give yourself that that time.
It's essential, it's and it'sgot to be a non-negotiable.
(38:00):
It's got to be your priority.
That's, that's how I feel.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Yeah if I don't have that then anything could happen
just being grounded and centeredand you know it's all about the
mindfulness, isn't it really?
And just bringing yourself back.
You know we're I mean, we'realways going to go to our heads
and there's always going to bethat you know, old kind of
patterns that come in.
(38:25):
But I think just having thatawareness and those tools like
you mentioned, the toolbox oftools to, yeah, bring yourself
back and keep yourself as well,you know, I mean, if I, if I, if
I felt like a drink, the firstthing I would do is reach out to
somebody.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
You know, I've got such a wonderful tribe around me
now and I know what they wouldsay don't do that.
You know you don't need to dothat.
I'm just saying you know.
So I think people find it hardto reach out as well sometimes.
And you know you don't have togo through difficult things
alone.
Even if you're not going to geta coach, you can reach out to
(39:05):
your family or a trusted friend.
You know, and talk to people.
Don't keep everything in um.
Yeah, you know, that's reallyimportant, I think, to help you
live an alcohol-free life.
Have the right people aroundyou, have connection, people
(39:25):
that you can reach out to,because it's not that easy for
everybody.
You know it can be quite a hardjourney being alcohol-free.
You've got to do the work andthat's quite scary.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yeah, and I think as well, it's like like it's
short-term pain long-term gain,isn't it absolutely yeah and I'm
.
You know I'm a great believerfrom my own experience and for
my clients and from you know thecommunities that I'm involved
in is where you know it is you.
Yes, some relationships fallaway and some aren't as aligned,
but it just clears the spaceand creates space for so many
(40:04):
new, more aligned yes to come in.
That's something I always sayon here to people who are
listening.
Like it will happen, like youabsolutely will attract in
people that are yeah, but itdoesn't.
It doesn't always feel like itstraight away, but it's also
such a great time now to bealcohol free, isn't it?
You know the all the themovement's huge, there's so much
(40:27):
there was nothing.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
You know, when I went um alcohol free, it was, it was
AA um, you know, there weren'tall these lovely communities on
on the social media sites it was.
It was quite lonely and and Iguess that's what I'm saying
there's so much out there nowfor you to be able to access um,
which is wonderful, really,really wonderful.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yeah yeah, it's exciting times.
I, I love it like I justcouldn't even imagine going back
now, and I don't know whetheryou know know much about my
story, but I, I, actually onlygave up for a chapter, yeah,
until.
I was 40, so I had analcohol-free 40th birthday too.
That's amazing.
And then, and then I was likeno, it got too good.
(41:12):
Like I, I genuinely thought Iwas gonna go back to drinking
when I was 40.
I just thought I'll create areally big like space for me
just to go in, like unlearn mypatterns, upskill, change my
life, do all these things,discover my purpose, thought I
might attract in a man, buthaven't done yet.
There's still time.
(41:32):
I thought I'd do all of thatand then I thought I'd go back
to drinking at 40 and I justhonestly and again from like a
spiritual point of view, theconfirmations that I've had over
and over and over again thatthis is my path, there's no
going back, and it got too goodanyway.
And you know why would youbother?
Because now I don't even thinkabout it.
(41:55):
This was my third Christmasalcohol-free actually.
I don't even think about it.
This was my third Christmasalcohol free actually, and it
was.
It was really lovely because Ithink the first two Christmases
I always thought Christmas wasgoing to be hard because it's
all that conditioning yeah, allof that association isn't it.
And I, christmas was huge forme in the UK and I actually
haven't had a Christmas in theUK since I gave up drinking.
(42:17):
Okay, okay, I think that was theone thing that I was a bit
nervous about, because, you know, my dad had like big boozy
celebrations.
It's very traditional and Iremember I had the opportunity
to fly home last year and Idecided not to because I thought
I just don't know if I want tobe in that situation.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
You know it's a lot of money to fly back from
Australia so I just thought Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
But this year I was at my sister's in Australia and
around all the drinkers therewasn't any sober people there
and I was up as late as all ofthem.
I'm not saying you always haveto do that, but now I'm so
embodied in my alcohol-free lifeand I just sit there thinking,
oh my gosh, I've got so muchmore energy than I used to have
(42:57):
and then go to bed because I'dbe like you know, and so that
was gorgeous and I thought, ohmy goodness, I am going to be
able to do an alcohol-freeChristmas so easily now and next
year 100%.
It's going to be my first yearin like, I think, since 2018
Christmas in the UK and I'm soexcited and we'll have to catch
(43:18):
up when I'm back in the UK.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Definitely want to catch up with you.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
That would be amazing , yeah for sure, and so Kylie's
in Bristol, like I mentioned,and I went to uni in Bristol, so
I had a lot of my drinking daysin Bristol.
It is quite a boozy place,isn't it?
Speaker 2 (43:34):
there's lots of little.
You know places that you can goand drink.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Yes, yeah, that's just so strange.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
When you said that to me, do you live in Bristol?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
I was like, yes, I do yeah, yeah, it's a gorgeous
place and I spent 10 years thereand I'll definitely um.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
I'll definitely come and visit, yeah that would be
great, or we can meet halfwaywhere, wherever you are at the
time.
But yeah, yeah, absolutely likeyou were just saying.
Um, I like to feel everything.
Now, you know, like feelingsmake me feel alive, you know,
and it's great to be, to bepositive, but you know, you do
(44:11):
have to have days where youdon't feel so great and I just I
enjoy those.
You know, when I used to drink,I used to be trying to keep
myself at this level ofhappiness all the time, you know
.
But it's okay not to be allright for a little bit, it's
fine.
And just feeling everything isjust wonderful, I love it.
I would never want to numbagain, ever.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
I love when you brought that up, because it's
you know, I talk about this alot.
It's really it's actuallyreally liberating and it's the
true meaning of emotionalfreedom right because when we're
young, we are, you know well, Igrew up trying to avoid pain.
I now know that for sure.
And it's you know, we're alwaysstuffing down our emotions and,
yeah, you really do becomereally really good at feeling
(44:55):
things and leaning into thatdiscomfort.
And it's so freeing becauseoften we just get more panicked
about the feeling like feeling,the feeling of that feeling and
actually the feeling itself.
Yes, and it's.
It's huge for growth from thatpoint of view as well.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
So huge.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
And again, it's for short-term pain, long-term gain,
because you know it's horribleto start with but when you
become, you know, comfortabledoing that.
Yeah, it is, it is, it is hugefor emotional freedom, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
you sort of just sit with it and you just think, yes,
I'm sad, and you just let itwash over you and and then it
just goes.
You know, it just goes and yeah, it might come back again the
next day, and you just do alittle bit more work on it, and
then it just goes and then, likeyou said, when you encounter it
again, you just know how todeal with it.
(45:46):
You just think this will pass,it won't be here forever, and
what?
Speaker 1 (45:52):
can.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
I, you know, instead of thinking oh, the universe is
trying to sort of, you know,punish me, it's like no, what is
it trying to teach me?
What lesson is it trying toexplain to me?
So when you start doing that,everything changes.
Yeah, yeah, what can I learn?
Speaker 1 (46:13):
not like woe is me and it's that whole expression
that everything's a lesson or ablessing isn't it?
And I think when you start,when you start to get into that
spiritual world and start toread, read things from that
perspective.
It is, it is so powerful andit's such a huge shift and it
(46:34):
changes the whole trajectory ofeverything.
Yes, right you know, it's alllike universal assignments, for
example.
That's basically what it is,isn't it?
And surrendering at the moment,I'm having to surrender to the
unknown in so many areas of mylife and I'm so grateful for my
sobriety with that too yeah,it's really helpful yeah, yeah,
(46:58):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
Every day becomes a joy, doesn't it?
You know it's, it's exciting.
What's gonna happen today,what's the universe got planned
for me?
Rather than oh, yeah, yeah,it's a different, it's your
mindset switches, and that'swhen you start truly living yeah
, I could talk about thespiritual stuff all day.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
It's lovely, isn't it ?
It's such a wonderful thing tohave as well, because nobody.
It's just between you, isn't it?
It's yours, it's your belief,it's your connection, and it's
always there, whatever is goingon, you've always got it.
It's that, yeah, it's justalways there.
Whatever is going on, you've,you've always got it, it's it's.
(47:40):
It's that, yeah, it's justalways so, so comforting.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yeah, so it's very.
It's got me through so muchyeah, yeah, yeah oh, thank you,
kelly, and thank you dd yeah Ican't wait for us to catch up
properly as well in person andhow can people find you as well
and your business, your healthbusiness?
Speaker 2 (48:02):
So I'm on Instagram.
It's Vitality, health andWellbeing.
Yes, vitality, health andWellbeing.
Had to think that.
Yeah, Awesome so yes, I'm onInstagram, I'm not on Facebook.
I feel like Instagram's more mycommunity, um yeah, so yeah,
(48:24):
that's where you can find me.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
yes, amazing, awesome thank you.
Kelly and thank you for sharingeverything and we will thank
you again okay, thanks, dee,have a wonderful day.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Thank you for listening to today's episode of
the Sober Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
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If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
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(49:04):
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soberchapterscom, I will put youinto the mix of winning a free
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If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
follow along on Instagram it'ssober underscore chapters You'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
(49:26):
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching,
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I'd also love to hear from you.
(49:46):
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
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I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you, so grab yourself your favorite
cuppa and come join me in asafe space to listen, to share
(00:46):
and to feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast, and
(01:07):
today I'm joined by the lovelyKelly Allen, who is a women's
health coach from a place that'svery dear to my heart in
Bristol in the UK.
We recently interacted onInstagram and I just I knew that
I wanted to get her on thepodcast to share more about her
story, so I just want to welcomeyou, kelly, to the podcast.
Thank you for being here, thankyou for having me.
Speaker 2 (01:29):
Dee Dee.
Speaker 1 (01:30):
It's wonderful, thank you.
And yeah, this is Kelly's firstpodcast and her first
opportunity to share a lot moreabout her journey, and I'm
really excited to hear aboutthat.
So how about you start off,kelly, with whatever you know
comes to your heart in terms ofintroducing yourself and your
journey so far, perhaps withwith going alcohol free as well?
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Okay, so I'm Kelly, I'm 53 years old, I'm a mother,
a daughter and a wife, and I'm anaturopathic health and
wellness coach.
So with naturopathic health andwellness coaching, you look at
the whole person so kind of mind, body and spirit and look at
any imbalances that are thereand help people to create health
(02:15):
goals, you know, throughguidance and personalised
support.
So that's what I do as a job.
Yeah, my journey is quite along one because I'm 53.
So I thought a really good wayto kind of talk about it would
be to put it into the threearchetypes that woman goes
(02:39):
through in her life which ismaiden, mother and crow life, um
, which is maiden, mother andcrow, um.
So maiden is about your youthand, um, it's about finding your
identity, self-exploration.
And then you've got your motherphase, which is nurturing, um,
but that doesn't have to be achild, it can be anything that's
(03:01):
really sort of like precious toyou, um, and it's about
responsibilities and building.
And then you've got your cronephase, which is what I'm in now,
which is kind of aboutauthenticity and reflection and,
yeah, just kind of wisdom,really, although I'm still
learning, so, yeah.
(03:22):
So let's start with Maiden.
So I grew up in a house wheredrinking every day was normal,
or being around people that hadbeen drinking was normal.
When I was very small I used tothink, oh, dad's a bit
different today.
You know what's going on.
(03:43):
He's not his usual self.
And then, as I grew up, Irealised that he'd been drinking
alcohol and this is what madehim change.
So, yeah, I mean I don't wantto sort of sound like a victim
or I don't want to judge himbecause I love him dearly and we
(04:04):
spend a lot of time togetherand we get on really well but at
the time it was just juststrange, you know, we'd have
conversations and then the nextmorning he didn't remember them.
So that sort of made me feelvery unearthed and insecure as a
child.
And, yeah, I grew up kind oflike just feeling sort of not
(04:30):
very secure really.
And then at 13, I starteddrinking myself and I still had
a lot of anxiety and lowself-esteem.
So I ended up with a sort ofnasty sort of eating disorder,
(04:50):
um, but that made me feel incontrol because I felt like my
life was out of control really,um.
So, yeah, I started drinkingmyself, um, had that nasty
eating disorder and then I justsort of turned into sort of a
party girl really.
(05:10):
As I got into my late teens Idid have periods of sobriety and
I always felt really great, butthen, having different friend
groups through your sort ofteens and late teens, I always
got dragged back into drinkingagain, um, and my life was
pretty chaotic really, um, untilI met my husband, danny, um,
(05:35):
when I was 24, and then lifestarted to kind of calm down
then and we started building ahome together, um, and sort of
wanting to have a child.
So we still parted but therewasn't all that chaos sort of
going on really.
Um.
So, yeah, when we decided tokind of go for having a child, I
(06:03):
sort of cut down on my drinkingand we both did, really in hope
that we would conceive.
And we did conceive and then wehad our daughter.
So you know, things settleddown then.
I wasn't sort of drinkingthrough my pregnancy.
I wasn't drinking when I wasbreastfeeding, but then I sort
(06:26):
of I absolutely loved motherhoodand my daughter was.
I wanted her so much.
But you know I was tired andmotherhood is like a massive
change, you know, howeverprepared you are for it, it just
turned your life upside down.
So I went back to the onlything that I knew, you know, I
(06:48):
could do to cope, which wasdrinking.
So I didn't have any tools as Igrew up, you know, to kind of
help me stay off the alcohol.
Um, I was kind of just I alwaysfelt really out there and alone
and like I didn't have anythingto pull in, you know, to kind
of help me when I was goingthrough these sort of periods of
(07:09):
feeling out of control, um.
So I kind of started drinkingagain, um, and I was drinking at
home, um, when she went to bed,because I kind of felt like I
could hide it better from a baby.
So there was a lot of guilt andshame around my drinking and I
(07:30):
think it was because thedrinking that I'd seen wasn't
very healthy.
You know, it's like a copingmechanism.
So that's how I was taught.
How to cope with my emotionswas to drink, really sort of to
numb and kind of like just sortof anesthetize and, you know,
(07:50):
sedate.
So I never felt good aboutdrinking when my daughter was
young and I did have lots ofguilt and shame and I just
didn't know what to do with thatguilt and shame.
And then as she got older itgot harder to hide and I could
just see history repeatingitself again and I just thought
(08:12):
I can't do this.
You know, I don't want her tosee me drinking all the time and
learn that that's how you dealwith things.
And yeah, it was just really,really, really hard that part of
my life.
I just felt like an awfulmother and it got to the point
where I thought this has got tostop.
(08:34):
So I made a decision to stopdrinking and it was hard.
I kind of was starting to get alittle bit sort of is there
anything else out there?
Because I didn't really haveany faith or trust.
I was a bit of a control freak,you know.
(08:54):
I wanted to know the outcome ofeverything.
I found it really hard to letgo.
So anyway, I decided to stopdrinking.
Um, I did go to AA for a littlebit, um, and that is a
wonderful tool, um, and Ilearned a lot there.
But I just wasn't confidentenough to sit there and talk to
(09:18):
a bunch of strangers about, youknow so much.
There was so much there.
So I did learn that grouptherapy is very powerful when I
went there.
But I decided that I was goingto go it alone.
So I did.
The first year was really,really tricky.
(09:39):
I was the only person out of myfriendship group that didn't
drink.
I was the only person out of myfriendship group that didn't
drink.
I didn't know what to say, Ididn't know how to explain it to
them.
Um, I didn't have theconfidence that I've got now.
So I kind of white knuckled ita little bit, you know.
But as you sort of build themonths up of being alcohol free,
(10:00):
you do get very motivated andobviously, obviously the
benefits were amazing.
You know, the guilt and shamehad gone, which was brilliant.
I was full of life.
So this was kind of my early40s.
I remember having an alcoholfree 40th.
So I think I must have given upalcohol around about the age of
(10:23):
39.
So the first sort of part of mysort of um, motherhood, kind of
like sobriety, um was reallygood, um, and I completely threw
myself into being a mum.
You know I wanted to be thebest mum that I could.
Um, I kind of we moved and wemoved into a house that was
(10:45):
completely run down.
So it was a massive project andI think I kind of lost myself a
little bit with being a mum and, you know, having this big
project to do, and I kind offeel like my alcohol free years
although they were good, like myalcohol free years, although
they were good and I did learn alot more coping mechanisms I
(11:15):
think they were quite ego drivenBecause it was all about
proving to myself that I couldgo without a drink, proven to
everyone else I could go withouta drink.
So it was more ego based.
Now I look back um, and ofcourse that's not gonna last um.
So when I got to about 45, 46,47, um, I started going through
the menopause, uh, orperimenopause, and um, my
(11:37):
daughter was kind of like goinginto a teenager by then and um,
we clashed, um, I still hadn'tlearned how to kind of deal with
um argumentative situations,you know, because I made quite a
lot of bad boyfriend choices inmy sort of teens.
(12:00):
My relationship with my dad wasstill a little bit fragile, um,
and when I went into earlymotherhood it kind of improved.
But then, as it got intoteenage years, I we started
arguing again because I don'tthink my dad always agreed with
my choices.
You know parenting and stufflike that anyway.
(12:22):
So my body was changing and Irealized that I was changing and
I just kind of like just knewthat there was this big change
going on inside of me.
So I started kind of lookingmore outside of myself for
answers and started to get alittle bit of a spiritual faith.
So now we're kind of gettinginto my late 40s and then at 49,
(12:50):
my life was sort of quitechaotic again.
I completely lost myself.
I was craving you know something, to sort of as a crutch craving
, you know something as a crutchand things were just not good
(13:10):
at all.
And then 2020 came, and thatwas just a year that I will
never forget.
So I had a few personal thingsgoing on in the background, and
then I had this phone call inthe middle of the night from my
dad telling me that my mum hadpassed away in her sleep.
(13:32):
And I just flew around to thehouse and it was true, and there
was my dad.
You know, as the days and weekswent on, I'd realised that my
mom was a buffer between me andmy dad and that was gone.
So I was faced with my dad andour sort of up and down
(13:54):
relationship through my life.
He needed my help.
How was I going to do that?
And then, two weeks after that,we locked down.
The whole world stopped.
Um, so we had a really smallfuneral, which was really
difficult.
Um, I was a self-employedhairdresser at that time, so my
(14:19):
business just went.
Um, yeah, I've beenself-employed since I was 23, so
I've always been aself-employed person.
Um, so that went and, yeah, Ijust my word was crumbling
around me and I just everydirection that I looked in,
there was just a shut door.
(14:40):
There was nothing.
It was just, yeah, everythingwas crumbling around me and I
had a drink, I didn't know whatelse to do, and it was as though
the universe was saying to meyou need to stop, you need yeah,
you need to stop completely,you need to stop, you need to
(15:02):
slow down, need to stopcompletely.
You need to stop, you need toslow down, you need to.
You can't carry on like this.
You have to do some inner workon yourself.
Um, yeah, it was reallydifficult.
So, um, I sort of just stoppedand I started seeing, um, the
(15:22):
number 11 everywhere and I waslike, why do I started seeing
the number 11 everywhere?
And I was like, why do I keepseeing the number 11?
And it was 7.11 in the morning,8.11 in the morning, 9.11.
So I sort of, you know, had alittle look online and I was
thinking, wow, I think someone'strying to speak to me,
(15:42):
someone's trying to sort ofguide me.
Wow, I think someone's tryingto speak to me, someone's trying
to sort of guide me.
So I sort of started openingmyself up to, um, anything
really that would help me.
I was desperate, I was on myknees, I, I was just looking for
for something, um.
So I started, um reading allthese amazing books, um.
(16:04):
I don't know if you've everread any of them, didi, but one
of them's called Women that RunWith the Wolves.
This is by Clarissa PinkolaEstes, and this is about how us
women go through thesearchetypes and we're forever
changing.
That's what we do.
We just change constantly andwe just shed our skin and we
(16:28):
become a new person and we'vegot this innate intuition in us
that's built in and that's howwe, it's our compass and that's
how we should live our livesthrough our intuition.
And I'd lost my intuition.
I was so busy with outsidethings that I'd forgotten about
(16:54):
my intuition, and it was just avery powerful moment.
I read another amazing bookcalled the Red Tent, and this is
a love story, but it's about awoman and her whole life, and
the red tents were places wherewomen would go centuries and
centuries ago when they hadtheir, their cycle and they
(17:18):
would gather and they would lookafter each other.
So I read that book and then Iread read another one, um,
called Belonging Yourself Home,by Toko Paterna.
Um, this one is again aboutfinding yourself, um, and I
think I'd always been such apeople pleaser and a control
(17:38):
freak.
I'd not really found my true,my true self, really.
Um, so I started studying themoon cycles and I realized that,
you know, again, we're attachedto those through our cycles.
Um, I bought loads of crystals,I went to Glastonbury, I just
(17:58):
went all out.
You know, um and I did that fora couple of years and obviously
sort of it came out of lockdown,didn't we?
And the world kind of umstarted to go back to normal, um
, and I kind of thought tomyself after those two years I
felt like I'd been in thislittle bubble for two years and,
(18:20):
um, when we sort of came out oflockdown, I sort of stepped out
and I was like, ok, so what doI do now?
Like what happens now?
So I remember going to a yogaclass.
It was one of the first yogaclasses to open after lockdown
and I discovered that my yogateacher was a naturopathic
(18:40):
nutritionalist and I'm going tosay her name because she's been
such an inspiration to me.
Her name's Hayley McAlyndon andshe was doing a detox and
nutrition course.
So I kind of like thought, oh,that sounds good, it's like a
sister circle online.
So I did that and then I startedreplacing all my really
(19:04):
negative habits that I had withtiny little micro habits that
she taught me.
So I would sort of, you know,dry brush every day and sort of,
you know, yeah, just use thesetechniques and these nutrition
tools that she'd given me andI'd always been a really healthy
person.
Actually, I sort of exercised,um, because my I ballet danced
(19:28):
all my life and then I'd alwaysdone some sort of exercise, um,
and I'd been practicing yoga foryears really, but it stopped
when we locked down, um, so Istarted replacing all those
habits and I just started reallygetting into, you know, wanting
to know how the body works andsort of putting the mind, body
and spirit thing together, um, Ihad a real calling as well to
(19:52):
sort of um do women's circles.
So, um, I've met somebody, um,just as we were coming out of
lockdown.
That was um, another yogateacher.
I've got loads of friends thatare yoga teachers, um, and and
we started doing um.
You know, we started doingwomen's circles together.
So we'd gather lots of womentogether and we talked about the
(20:14):
sabbats, um, which are theeight sort of celebrations of
the year, um and um, it's reallynice to know about those
because they really connect youto the earth, um, and also
they're linked to your feelings.
So you know, before we came onhere, we were talking about
(20:34):
spring and that's a wonderfultime to detox.
You know, january is a greattime to start things, but really
the spring is even better time.
So we sort of taught thesewomen all about connecting to
Mother Nature, and I pretty muchlive my life like that.
Now I'm always wondering, youknow, like there's a new moon
(20:55):
today, so I thought what alovely day for you and I to meet
.
I was really pleased about that, yeah, yeah.
And so, yeah, I kind of livedmy life through that really now,
um, and then I just got moreand more into nutrition and um.
I decided to start studyingabout how the body works, um, in
(21:18):
March 2003.
And then I studied Ayurveda andnutrition, and then this year
in March, I just thought I'mgoing to go for it, I'm going to
do the naturopathic healthcoaching.
Obviously, in the meantime,I've stopped drinking again.
I've got this massive toolbox,um.
(21:45):
When I drank the last time, um,it was really different
actually, because I didn't beatmyself up.
I looked at myself from areally nonjudgmental place and
that's what made me think tomyself if I can do that with
myself, I can do that with otherpeople as well.
You know, sort of look at theirlife and their habits, um, and,
you know, help them.
(22:05):
So I have sort of attractedquite a few people that I'm
helping with their drinking nowas well, um, so yeah, that's
kind of it.
We're here now and I qualifiedin August as a coach and that's
my path.
Now I'm fully dedicated to it,um, and I want to help people
(22:30):
live happy, healthy lives thatare mainly alcohol free, really.
So, yeah, that's it, yeah thankyou, kelly.
Speaker 1 (22:41):
There's so many moments where I was like, oh
there's.
It's funny because, like I say,I always have this like
intuitive nudge to reach out tocertain people to come on the
podcast and I definitely hadthat with you and I knew I knew
nothing about your story and Ikind of like rolling it that way
, because I sit here and I'mlike, oh, that's why I had the
nudge, oh, that's like, and youknow, we're all mirroring each
(23:04):
other all the time, right, it'sjust quite fascinating because,
as you're talking, there wasvarious parts, particularly from
your maiden era era, as youcalled it, which I love because,
yeah, I very much love studyingthe feminine archetypes as well
so there's a little bit of asimilarity there with what you
were talking about, um, but withyour maiden era and you know
the kind of relationship withyour dad and and drinking from a
(23:26):
very young age that was very,very similar to me, like I
actually, um, I have learned ahuge amount about how the
relationship with my father hasplayed out through like my life
and with a lot of my patternsaround like drinking.
My, my ego essentially is um,made up from my relationship
with my dad, because I was veryboisterous with my dad.
(23:49):
I was the youngest of fourgirls and I feel like I was
almost like the son in a way,and we connected very much
through drinking and, similar towhat you said, my dad love him
dearly.
I've done a lot of work aroundthat but, yeah, it was a very
unpredictable environment andultimately there was, you know,
a little bit of chaos and mynervous system, you know, has
(24:13):
wreaked havoc from that.
You know, a lot of unsafety andthings like this which I now
know played such a part in you,my patterns going forwards and,
you know, never really addressedthem at that time and so, yeah,
it was interesting when youwere talking about that and it's
that that, you know, desire forconnection, isn't it, I suppose
?
And and in and on all the wrongplaces as well.
(24:35):
Yes, yeah, and then when youwent on to say about seeing the
numbers, obviously I was likeclapping because that was a huge
, huge part of my own experience.
I feel like I was very muchguided to give up alcohol, yes,
(24:56):
but also I think it's just, it'sbeen incredible.
I think it's just, it's beenincredible.
You know, when we start to seethose numbers and, like you said
, you felt that somebody wascommunicating with you, whatever
that you know, whatever yourbeliefs are, that's when you
really sit up and start to getcurious, don't you?
And you really start to be open.
And then that's when you areable to listen to those nudges
(25:16):
and I like to call them almostlike soul's whispers and we get
led down a path when we do quiet, quiet down and listen.
And you know the way that youread those books and I had other
ones that I read.
That, gabby Bernstein, theuniverse has your back right was
a huge one for me, likeabsolutely massive, and I've
actually just been recentlygoing through a huge transition,
(25:37):
as you know, with leavingcorporate and going all in with
this, and I got I got guided togo back to that book, which I
haven't read since 2019, when Ikind of first went through.
I call it my spiritualawakening and I reread it as
more of a like sober chaptersbusiness owner, where I'm
needing to like dig deep into myfaith again because it's just
(25:57):
so much uncertainty with thetransition and I was like, oh,
my goodness, wow, like I knowwhy I was guided to read this
right now.
Definitely wasn't it?
When you go on this path, is itjust all starts to kind of?
Speaker 2 (26:11):
it unfolds, doesn't it?
Yeah, yeah.
And the more you let go, themore you realize that things
just start to come in.
Then, if you're not open, it's,it's blocking.
You know all this wonderfulstuff that you can potentially
get.
Yeah, so relaxing and lettinggo and just not knowing the
(26:32):
outcome of things is somethingthat I find quite powerful.
Now.
I like doing that you know andI feel I feel safe doing it now,
whereas I didn't before.
Speaker 1 (26:42):
I had to know, what the outcome was going to be and
that just caused me so muchstress yeah, it sounds like
you've had a huge transitionfrom where you were really,
really busy, probably a lot morein your head.
I guess, in your head, andthat's where it's just really
difficult to be open, to see allof that stuff, isn't it?
(27:04):
It is.
We are almost forced to comeback to that place.
Yeah, you know, whether youknow it's a rock bottom, or you
know you feel like the rug'sbeing pulled from underneath you
or whatever it looks like youknow that it was always
happening.
When you look back, it wasalways happening for a reason
and it brings you back to thatplace where you can just
definitely yeah, just trust.
Speaker 2 (27:24):
Yeah, I think we've all got our paths, haven't we?
We've got our gifts and, um, tobe of service, and I think you
know that's where I'm happiestwhen I'm of service to somebody,
but I'm, with it's, coming fromsuch a place of, you know, love
really and wanted to give and,yeah, just kind of finding
(27:47):
yourself is the best thing everreally.
It really is, it's, it's lovely, and then you can take that out
with you into the world and,yeah, just share it, yeah yeah,
it's gorgeous and, like you say,you know the wisdom element.
There's just so much wisdom thatyou've gained, yeah, along the
way, it's the best thing thosethings that happened to me were
(28:09):
the best things that happened tome at the time.
They were so hard, um, but nowthe last four years of my life
have been the mosttransformative years, um, and
I'm really looking forward tothe future.
I really am and what it's,what's going to be out there, um
, yeah, and I do feel the moreauthentic you are, the better,
(28:34):
really, um, we're all different.
We've all got our own stories.
We've all got our own journeys.
All our journeys are different.
There's no right or wrong.
Um, it's just about listeningand sort of just walking that
path.
Really, that's meant for youyeah yeah, and what?
Speaker 1 (28:53):
practices, would you say, have helped you to really
come back to yourself, like youmentioned a couple like with
yoga and things like that butwhat do you do on a daily basis?
Speaker 2 (29:03):
journaling is the backbone of my sobriety, without
a doubt.
Um, yeah, because you can justlook at something that you've
written and you can see it froma different perspective.
It's out of your head so it'snot going round and round.
You can really look at yourshadows then and pick things
(29:28):
apart.
I think I've read that therehave been studies that
reflection is the best way tolearn.
If you can write and look andreflect on what you've written.
So if you can write and lookand reflect on what you've
(29:50):
written, you can learn a lotfrom your behaviours and start
making small changes to kind ofalter them.
Like you said, doing a lot ofwork around relationships, you
know I've done loads of workaround my dad, you know.
So journaling has been reallygood.
I quite like somatic movementas well.
I've kind of looked into thesort of vagus nerve and um, sort
(30:11):
of just doing somatic movement,which can be anything really.
So you can just tap or um, justsway, um, and just kind of
close your eyes and just sort ofmove your body.
Um, that's really lovely.
Um, humming and singing arereally great as well, you know.
(30:32):
They're really good for sort ofsettling your nervous system
down.
Um, yoga is my, my love, Ithink, really, and obviously
you've got the breath there aswell.
What else do I use?
Yeah, journaling is my mainthing.
Exercise is a really good onefor me as well.
(30:54):
I love exercising.
It doesn't have to be anythingtoo crazy, it can just be going
for a walk, you know, around theblock to clear your head.
I love being in nature as well,where you're just away from
everything.
Yeah, those are my main things,I think, and I do a little bit
(31:16):
of prayer as well, and I'm a lotquieter in my head and I try to
be present and I take to try totake one day at a time.
Instead of racing ahead andlooking at the whole picture, I
just think, yeah, baby steps,one day at a time, um, that
(31:37):
helps with overwhelm.
So those are my main tools thatI use.
Speaker 1 (31:41):
yes, yeah yeah, I would.
Yeah, definitely nodding at afew of those journaling's been
absolutely huge for me in so, somany ways like it's so, so
great for, like in the moment,in terms of just, you know,
processing emotions, yeah, yourthoughts out on paper, all of
that.
But you mentioned the reflectionthing is so powerful and
(32:04):
actually, funnily enough, againrecently I was like guided to go
and I have, like this drawerfull of my old journals, yeah,
and I love it because I've beenon this real path, you know,
since pretty much 2020, to behonest, like kind of like 2016
was when things really sort offell apart for me in terms of,
(32:24):
you know, love and work and allof those things my rock bottom,
I suppose.
And then 2018, I was gettingreally really curious and then I
started doing a lot of likebreaks from alcohol, journaling
about it you know, really,really.
What I now know was that I wasmanifesting my life back then
yeah, journaling, and I hadn'trealized it and honestly, kelly,
(32:48):
when I go and look at myjournals now, it gives me
goosebumps.
And yeah, I'm actually writing abook at the moment and there's
all these snippets from myjournal I'm gonna be putting in
there because it's, it's like itwas so obvious like all the
answers were yeah in thosejournals and I didn't really
know it's.
It's like it was so obvious,like all the answers were yeah
in those journals and I didn'treally know it at the time.
But it's been.
I say it's been pretty much themost powerful tool as well for
(33:11):
me in creating, yeah, this lifeand along the sobriety journey.
I think, when you use it inline with sobriety as well, like
that clarity piece, um, it's,it's really, really powerful it
is, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (33:24):
journaling is the thing.
I just love it so much.
Um, it really is amazing.
Yeah, I agree with you 100%,and we've all got the answers
inside of us.
Um, it's just finding them, andI think getting them out onto
paper is manifestation, andalcohol just blocks that.
(33:45):
It just takes that away.
You know you're not right whenyou've been drinking.
It's just, I mean, you know itupsets all the chemicals in your
brain.
It takes days to get out ofyour system.
It is a real manifestationblock 100%.
Speaker 1 (34:02):
Yeah, 100% manifestation block and also
just a disconnect from what youtruly want as well.
It is, you know it can be hardenough to you know, have the
clarity on what steps to takeforward.
But I think what's clear isthat you know, for you you've
been on this path back to whoyou truly are and back to you
know using these soul's gifts ofyours and aligning with that
(34:23):
purpose, and I think that youknow that's a huge part of it as
well.
It's going back to to doing whatwe're truly meant to do and
being who we're meant to be inthis life.
You know, and it's all part ofit, isn't it so much?
And how has it been?
It sounds like you reallyrecognized.
Then there was a part of, like,your surprise journey where it
(34:44):
wasn't necessarily you didn'tutilize it perhaps in the same
way, and then now it's verydifferent.
Oh, completely yes.
Speaker 2 (34:52):
Yeah, like I said, sort of I used to judge myself
and it was ego driven, but nowit's not, it's done with love
and care and like I'm talking tomyself as a child, you know
sort of patience.
And yeah, I didn't nurturemyself.
You know I was too busynurturing everybody else, and
(35:15):
now I'm nurturing myself, butthen you can give from a fuller
cup when you do that.
Speaker 1 (35:28):
Yeah, so yeah, then you can give from a fuller cup
when you do that.
Um, yeah, yeah, so, yes, Ithink it sort of goes to show,
because I think you know itisn't a case, it's it.
I always say it's about so muchmore than removing alcohol.
You need to, you kind of needto go deep with that inner work,
don't you, and really go onthat path of personal and
spiritual growth and marry thosetwo together and really take
advantage, yes, of doing all ofthat work whilst you're alcohol
(35:49):
free.
Yes, because that's where thetrue transformation actually
lies.
Yeah, so it sounds like youwere so busy with everything
else that you had on before thatyou didn't get that opportunity
to do it in that way, whereasnow you do and you have been yes
, absolutely yes, I I do have alot of I.
Speaker 2 (36:09):
I have my self-care practices and they're
non-negotiable.
You know I I have to have fiveminutes to myself.
I have to, you know, go out fora walk every day, and
something's have to, you know,go out for a walk every day and
something's got to give you knowfor you to be able to give that
to yourself.
And I would encourage anybodythat wants to make changes to
(36:33):
love yourself enough to giveyourself some time and you can
start with a little bit of timeand build that up.
But something's got to give foryou to be able to, you know, go
alcohol free and be able to dothat, work and yeah, and and be
brave as well.
You know I do think that, um, alot of people struggle with
(36:58):
they want to be sober, but theysort of feel guilty about giving
themselves that time to startworking on themselves.
Does that make sense?
Because you know you don'tdrink, because you're happy.
You know, and I found with mycoaching that you know, people
(37:18):
do drink and it is stopping themfrom becoming the best version
of themselves, and I really tryto encourage them.
You know people do drink and itis stopping them from becoming
the best version of themselves,and I really try to encourage
them.
You know, you give this toyourself.
Give yourself this time.
You know, I always give myclient a journal and I say this
is your best friend for the nextthree months.
Everything goes in here.
(37:38):
You know, you'll learn so muchfrom what you put in that book,
um, and then you can startlooking at what you need to do
to to go alcohol free.
So, yeah, it's um, you've gotto give yourself that that time.
It's essential, it's and it'sgot to be a non-negotiable.
(38:00):
It's got to be your priority.
That's, that's how I feel.
Speaker 1 (38:05):
Yeah if I don't have that then anything could happen
just being grounded and centeredand you know it's all about the
mindfulness, isn't it really?
And just bringing yourself back.
You know we're I mean, we'realways going to go to our heads
and there's always going to bethat you know, old kind of
patterns that come in.
(38:25):
But I think just having thatawareness and those tools like
you mentioned, the toolbox oftools to, yeah, bring yourself
back and keep yourself as well,you know, I mean, if I, if I, if
I felt like a drink, the firstthing I would do is reach out to
somebody.
Speaker 2 (38:44):
You know, I've got such a wonderful tribe around me
now and I know what they wouldsay don't do that.
You know you don't need to dothat.
I'm just saying you know.
So I think people find it hardto reach out as well sometimes.
And you know you don't have togo through difficult things
alone.
Even if you're not going to geta coach, you can reach out to
(39:05):
your family or a trusted friend.
You know, and talk to people.
Don't keep everything in um.
Yeah, you know, that's reallyimportant, I think, to help you
live an alcohol-free life.
Have the right people aroundyou, have connection, people
(39:25):
that you can reach out to,because it's not that easy for
everybody.
You know it can be quite a hardjourney being alcohol-free.
You've got to do the work andthat's quite scary.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yeah, and I think as well, it's like like it's
short-term pain long-term gain,isn't it absolutely yeah and I'm
.
You know I'm a great believerfrom my own experience and for
my clients and from you know thecommunities that I'm involved
in is where you know it is you.
Yes, some relationships fallaway and some aren't as aligned,
but it just clears the spaceand creates space for so many
(40:04):
new, more aligned yes to come in.
That's something I always sayon here to people who are
listening.
Like it will happen, like youabsolutely will attract in
people that are yeah, but itdoesn't.
It doesn't always feel like itstraight away, but it's also
such a great time now to bealcohol free, isn't it?
You know the all the themovement's huge, there's so much
(40:27):
there was nothing.
Speaker 2 (40:28):
You know, when I went um alcohol free, it was, it was
AA um, you know, there weren'tall these lovely communities on
on the social media sites it was.
It was quite lonely and and Iguess that's what I'm saying
there's so much out there nowfor you to be able to access um,
which is wonderful, really,really wonderful.
Speaker 1 (40:51):
Yeah yeah, it's exciting times.
I, I love it like I justcouldn't even imagine going back
now, and I don't know whetheryou know know much about my
story, but I, I, actually onlygave up for a chapter, yeah,
until.
I was 40, so I had analcohol-free 40th birthday too.
That's amazing.
And then, and then I was likeno, it got too good.
(41:12):
Like I, I genuinely thought Iwas gonna go back to drinking
when I was 40.
I just thought I'll create areally big like space for me
just to go in, like unlearn mypatterns, upskill, change my
life, do all these things,discover my purpose, thought I
might attract in a man, buthaven't done yet.
There's still time.
(41:32):
I thought I'd do all of thatand then I thought I'd go back
to drinking at 40 and I justhonestly and again from like a
spiritual point of view, theconfirmations that I've had over
and over and over again thatthis is my path, there's no
going back, and it got too goodanyway.
And you know why would youbother?
Because now I don't even thinkabout it.
(41:55):
This was my third Christmasalcohol-free actually.
I don't even think about it.
This was my third Christmasalcohol free actually, and it
was.
It was really lovely because Ithink the first two Christmases
I always thought Christmas wasgoing to be hard because it's
all that conditioning yeah, allof that association isn't it.
And I, christmas was huge forme in the UK and I actually
haven't had a Christmas in theUK since I gave up drinking.
(42:17):
Okay, okay, I think that was theone thing that I was a bit
nervous about, because, you know, my dad had like big boozy
celebrations.
It's very traditional and Iremember I had the opportunity
to fly home last year and Idecided not to because I thought
I just don't know if I want tobe in that situation.
Speaker 2 (42:32):
You know it's a lot of money to fly back from
Australia so I just thought Idon't know.
Speaker 1 (42:36):
But this year I was at my sister's in Australia and
around all the drinkers therewasn't any sober people there
and I was up as late as all ofthem.
I'm not saying you always haveto do that, but now I'm so
embodied in my alcohol-free lifeand I just sit there thinking,
oh my gosh, I've got so muchmore energy than I used to have
(42:57):
and then go to bed because I'dbe like you know, and so that
was gorgeous and I thought, ohmy goodness, I am going to be
able to do an alcohol-freeChristmas so easily now and next
year 100%.
It's going to be my first yearin like, I think, since 2018
Christmas in the UK and I'm soexcited and we'll have to catch
(43:18):
up when I'm back in the UK.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Definitely want to catch up with you.
Speaker 1 (43:21):
That would be amazing , yeah for sure, and so Kylie's
in Bristol, like I mentioned,and I went to uni in Bristol, so
I had a lot of my drinking daysin Bristol.
It is quite a boozy place,isn't it?
Speaker 2 (43:34):
there's lots of little.
You know places that you can goand drink.
Speaker 1 (43:38):
Yes, yeah, that's just so strange.
Speaker 2 (43:41):
When you said that to me, do you live in Bristol?
Speaker 1 (43:43):
I was like, yes, I do yeah, yeah, it's a gorgeous
place and I spent 10 years thereand I'll definitely um.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
I'll definitely come and visit, yeah that would be
great, or we can meet halfwaywhere, wherever you are at the
time.
But yeah, yeah, absolutely likeyou were just saying.
Um, I like to feel everything.
Now, you know, like feelingsmake me feel alive, you know,
and it's great to be, to bepositive, but you know, you do
(44:11):
have to have days where youdon't feel so great and I just I
enjoy those.
You know, when I used to drink,I used to be trying to keep
myself at this level ofhappiness all the time, you know
.
But it's okay not to be allright for a little bit, it's
fine.
And just feeling everything isjust wonderful, I love it.
I would never want to numbagain, ever.
Speaker 1 (44:35):
I love when you brought that up, because it's
you know, I talk about this alot.
It's really it's actuallyreally liberating and it's the
true meaning of emotionalfreedom right because when we're
young, we are, you know well, Igrew up trying to avoid pain.
I now know that for sure.
And it's you know, we're alwaysstuffing down our emotions and,
yeah, you really do becomereally really good at feeling
(44:55):
things and leaning into thatdiscomfort.
And it's so freeing becauseoften we just get more panicked
about the feeling like feeling,the feeling of that feeling and
actually the feeling itself.
Yes, and it's.
It's huge for growth from thatpoint of view as well.
Speaker 2 (45:12):
So huge.
Speaker 1 (45:12):
And again, it's for short-term pain, long-term gain,
because you know it's horribleto start with but when you
become, you know, comfortabledoing that.
Yeah, it is, it is, it is hugefor emotional freedom, isn't it?
Speaker 2 (45:25):
you sort of just sit with it and you just think, yes,
I'm sad, and you just let itwash over you and and then it
just goes.
You know, it just goes and yeah, it might come back again the
next day, and you just do alittle bit more work on it, and
then it just goes and then, likeyou said, when you encounter it
again, you just know how todeal with it.
(45:46):
You just think this will pass,it won't be here forever, and
what?
Speaker 1 (45:52):
can.
Speaker 2 (45:53):
I, you know, instead of thinking oh, the universe is
trying to sort of, you know,punish me, it's like no, what is
it trying to teach me?
What lesson is it trying toexplain to me?
So when you start doing that,everything changes.
Yeah, yeah, what can I learn?
Speaker 1 (46:13):
not like woe is me and it's that whole expression
that everything's a lesson or ablessing isn't it?
And I think when you start,when you start to get into that
spiritual world and start toread, read things from that
perspective.
It is, it is so powerful andit's such a huge shift and it
(46:34):
changes the whole trajectory ofeverything.
Yes, right you know, it's alllike universal assignments, for
example.
That's basically what it is,isn't it?
And surrendering at the moment,I'm having to surrender to the
unknown in so many areas of mylife and I'm so grateful for my
sobriety with that too yeah,it's really helpful yeah, yeah,
(46:58):
yeah.
Speaker 2 (46:59):
Every day becomes a joy, doesn't it?
You know it's, it's exciting.
What's gonna happen today,what's the universe got planned
for me?
Rather than oh, yeah, yeah,it's a different, it's your
mindset switches, and that'swhen you start truly living yeah
, I could talk about thespiritual stuff all day.
Speaker 1 (47:19):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (47:20):
It's lovely, isn't it ?
It's such a wonderful thing tohave as well, because nobody.
It's just between you, isn't it?
It's yours, it's your belief,it's your connection, and it's
always there, whatever is goingon, you've always got it.
It's that, yeah, it's justalways there.
Whatever is going on, you've,you've always got it, it's it's.
(47:40):
It's that, yeah, it's justalways so, so comforting.
Speaker 1 (47:44):
Yeah, so it's very.
It's got me through so muchyeah, yeah, yeah oh, thank you,
kelly, and thank you dd yeah Ican't wait for us to catch up
properly as well in person andhow can people find you as well
and your business, your healthbusiness?
Speaker 2 (48:02):
So I'm on Instagram.
It's Vitality, health andWellbeing.
Yes, vitality, health andWellbeing.
Had to think that.
Yeah, Awesome so yes, I'm onInstagram, I'm not on Facebook.
I feel like Instagram's more mycommunity, um yeah, so yeah,
(48:24):
that's where you can find me.
Speaker 1 (48:25):
yes, amazing, awesome thank you.
Kelly and thank you for sharingeverything and we will thank
you again okay, thanks, dee,have a wonderful day.
Thank you.
Speaker 2 (48:36):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (48:42):
Thank you for listening to today's episode of
the Sober Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on, and if
(49:04):
you send me a screenshot ofthat review to dd at
soberchapterscom, I will put youinto the mix of winning a free
one-on-one coaching session withme.
If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
follow along on Instagram it'ssober underscore chapters You'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
(49:26):
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching,
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
(49:46):
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
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