Hazel returns to the Sober Chapters Podcast, offering a unique and inspiring perspective after celebrating her first year free from alcohol. We explore her courageous journey through a festive Irish Christmas where sobriety was tested at every corner, from work parties to family gatherings. Hazel shares her deeply personal experiences, including the emotional challenge of remaining sober during her grandmother's passing, and how she found strength and clarity in these moments of vulnerability.
Navigating the vibrant pub culture of Ireland without a pint in hand presents its own set of challenges, and Hazel walks us through her strategy of setting small, achievable goals. By treating sobriety as a series of chapters rather than a lifelong commitment, Hazel crafts a narrative of empowerment and self-discovery. We touch upon the evolving societal attitudes towards wellness in Ireland and how choosing an alcohol-free lifestyle is not only becoming more common but also carries multiple physical and mental benefits. Our conversation underscores the significance of mindful decision-making in social settings, where the pressure to drink is often overwhelming.
As we delve into the broader theme of building meaningful relationships, Hazel reflects on how sobriety has deepened her connections with friends and family. From cozy coffee dates to nature outings, she highlights the joys of experiencing life with full presence and authenticity. Her journey is inspiring for those considering a similar path, underscoring the freedom and personal growth that comes from choosing a life that values wellness and connection over cultural expectations. Join us as we celebrate Hazel's milestones and explore the rewards of living an alcohol-free life with intention and joy.
Thank you for being here and for being a part of The Sober Chapters Community.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
welcome to another episode of the sober chapters
podcast, and I'm back today withmy beautiful friend, hazel.
I think this is the third timeshe's been on and this time she
is back home in ireland, so italways seems like we've got a
different location every timeand lots of updates from her
(00:24):
side.
She has just reached one yearalcohol free, so I thought it'd
be good to get her on, and alsojust experienced her first
Christmas back in Ireland, so Ithought those were two really
great topics to talk about today.
But I'll pass you over to Hazelto say hi again and thanks,
(00:45):
hazel, for joining us.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Thanks, didi.
It's so nice to be back on andjust to be in my own home as
well whilst doing it.
So, yeah, it's so lovely, yeah.
So thanks for thecongratulations on my milestone,
my one year mark, and yeah it's.
It's actually reallyinteresting because I didn't
(01:10):
find it difficult at all upuntil the Christmas.
Um, and yeah, that's like superinteresting because anyone that
kind of said, oh, like you'renot drinking or why don't you
drink, and um, I just wasn't toobothered by it, but this year
it's just actually really hit me.
(01:32):
I think when it kind of startedto hit me was before leaving
Perth, um, when I had aChristmas party for work and
everyone was talking about itand I just kind of thought, oh
my god, I'm, I'm actuallyanxious, because usually at
Christmas parties you can have afew drinks, you loosen up a bit
and then you get to know yourcolleagues and and I think
(01:54):
that's some of my fondestmemories from my previous jobs
as well it's just kind ofletting loose, having the chats
and and, yeah, dancing away,whatever, recklessly, wildly,
whatever, and yeah, just beinganother side of your yourself
around your workers and um, yeah, so that was kind of haunting
(02:16):
me a little bit and I was like,oh, should I just have like one
or two, maybe that will loosenme up a bit, like I was already
having those questions in mymind.
And then I was like, no, youknow what, I'm gonna keep going,
it's not gonna feel worth it.
The following day and Iremember one of the last times I
drank was at, um, the PappinessCo ball like not this year gone
(02:42):
, but the year before and Iremember just talking the head
off someone and just having somuch anxiety the next day like,
oh my god, what did I say tothem?
Or whatever, and I was like Idon't miss that feeling, so
let's just keep going, um, butthen obviously I came home and
it was just a weird time, like,um, my granny, she was really
(03:04):
sick and it was kind of suddenthat she was sick.
Um, so, yeah, it was just alittle bit sudden that she was
unwell and then eventually shepassed, uh, whilst I was home.
So it was, in fact, it wasreally good timing that I did
come home.
Uh, I was able to be there forher and for my aunties, my
(03:27):
uncles and, most importantly, mydad.
But when she passed, you knowit's proper Irish tradition that
you spend, you know, the nightsin the house drinking and you
know, sharing stories,everything else and everyone was
having hot whiskeys or Guinnessand I was like I felt really
(03:50):
like I don't know.
Do I feel left out, because I'mnot kind of having a few drinks
here and then Should I justhave a whiskey or a brandy?
in honour of my granny and thatkind of ended up being from not
only from the house, but then weended up going to a hotel
(04:11):
because my granny got cremated.
And then you know, my dad has15, there's 15 in their family,
so he has 14 brothers andsisters, so kids, I'm one of 39
(04:33):
grandchildren just on my, mydad's side.
So yeah, I have 47 cousins and,um, yeah, 17 grandchildren,
some woman and just in the hotel, like it was great, we all had,
like I know, yeah, no tvs backthen and I think she only
stopped.
I think she only stoppedbecause my, my granddad died,
like um, quite young.
So I feel like which isactually eye-opening to me was
(04:55):
that she was a single mother of15 children for like 37 years or
36 years, almost 37, um, butyeah, so I was just like, oh, I
want to have a few drinks in thehotel.
My cousins, you know, evensmoking, smoking came up to me.
I used to smoke and, um, yeah,I'm, I'm years away from smoking
(05:18):
, but just going out into thesmoking area I'd see all my
cousins go outside and they'rehaving the good chats and
everything.
And it was the cousins thatwere kind of similar to my age
and that I get on with mostly,and I was just like, oh my god,
I went outside anyways and I waschatting to them, I just kind
of braved, but I felt like Idon't know.
(05:40):
I felt like maybe people aregoing to think that I'm judging
them because they're smoking anddrinking and I'm there saying
them that, whereas when I haveno judgment towards it, I just
don't necessarily want to do itmyself and I've been there and
I've done that and yeah, then Iactually found out as well that
(06:01):
the non-alcoholic Heineken'sgive the worst hangovers ever.
Um, I'm not sure if you knewthat, but Heineken Zero give
hangovers, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I've noticed that if I some of the non-alcoholic like
and even some of thenon-alcoholic wines, I think, I
think it's the chemicals heyyeah, I don't know if it's like
malt or well, actually therewouldn't be malt in the wine.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I should have actually looked up why.
But, um, yeah, it's just, itwas just interesting because
some days I'd go out and I'd behaving the zeros or whatever and
I'd feel like I have a hangoverand I was like, why do I have a
hangover?
Someone listening to thisdefinitely has an answer.
Um, but yeah, it was just cool.
It was cool to to kind of keepgoing and to not break, uh,
(06:50):
everything that I've kind ofdone already.
Um, but a lot of feelings didcome up, like I went, went up to
my room for like a few hours.
I was doing stuff on the laptopas well, but yeah, I just kind
of needed like a mental breakand then I went back down and
had the best chats ever, but Iwas so glad I went back down.
It just took a little bit ofcourage for me, um, whereas when
(07:13):
, if I was drinking, I wouldhave stayed, I would have been
fine and would have been grand.
Um, but yeah, it's actually it'sa big movement in Ireland now
as well, like I heard on theradio the last day that it's the
lowest rate of alcoholconsumption for young people in
over 35 years.
(07:34):
So it's dropped.
Like alcohol consumption hasdropped by 15 percent.
I think I shared a story yeah,it's pretty cool, like yeah, and
then the ceo of moe like themoe or moe the champagne was
like people just don't haveanything to celebrate anymore.
I was like they're celebratingtheir health, like they're just
(07:55):
making changes, you know, and um, obviously, I'm pretty sure you
probably mentioned this, butireland's like the first country
to start advertising it ontheir alcohol labels that it
causes illnesses and cancers.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, they were the first to pass the law and I
think that by the end of 2026, Ithink, isn't it that they have
to have labels on everything,and I think something similar
has just happened in the US justrecently.
In the US as well, it'sdefinitely changing.
I changing, I think.
Yeah, I think big alcohol areprobably a little bit concerned,
and I actually think this iswhy some of the mock sales and
(08:33):
the non-alcoholic options aregetting so expensive, because I
think they're probably lookingdown at it all, thinking, well,
we've got to make some moneyfrom somewhere in the future if
this like continues to change,which is clearly going to like
the rate that it's happening.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just think it's incrediblethat you went home to Ireland
and navigated your firstChristmas and in Ireland, of all
(08:57):
places, alcohol free and Iwanted to like just ask you more
around that, I suppose, likehow was it received and how did
you handle that as well?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Um, yeah, I think it was like the thoughts out of my
head was just concerned aboutwhat other people were thinking,
in a way, like I was also a bitanxious about how I had to say
I wasn't drinking, like, oh, doI have to make up a story that
I'm on antibiotics or that youknow like what's my story?
Because that's what I used tohave to do when I was younger.
(09:31):
I think I stopped drinking.
Imagine I had to give upexcuses of why I'm not drinking
at like 16 years old, because Igave it up for like six months,
when I was 16, I think, and itwas just that I was on
antibiotics, that's all I wassaying.
Um, but I think, yeah, I wasjust saying, oh, I don't drink
anymore, it's just personalchoice.
And, um, you know, I just keptbeing questioned like why?
(09:53):
And I was just like I don'tknow.
I just I for me, like honestly,it was because of the um
inflammation that I was gettingin my body and it wasn't helping
with my condition or whatever.
And then, obviously, Icontinued to stop because I
started to see the benefits andhow I was getting to learn more
(10:13):
about myself and bring moreawareness and mindfulness and
spend more time on like selfdevelopment or my business, or
just like kind of being more, um, yeah, just careful about what
it is that I'm doing day by day.
Like I felt like when I drinkit wouldn't just be that one
night, like the next day I'd behanging and then I'd be eating
(10:35):
really crappy food and then I'dfeel really bad from the crappy
food, and it was just like acycle that I was in and then I
would check my bank account andI spent money without even
looking and whatever.
So I still struggle with thatsometimes too, but, um, but yeah
, so I think it was.
It was definitely difficultbecause I had the reckless
(10:56):
moments of, like you know,effort, like I'm gonna throw
everything up in the air,especially around my granny
passing, and I'm just gonna havea whiskey.
That's what I just kept onthinking.
I'm just gonna have a whiskeyand um, yeah, so that was kind
of it.
And Christmas, I guess, waskind of a little bit easier,
just because I was around thetime when she passed.
(11:18):
So we didn't have like amassive Christmas.
We had some games at the houseand we did go to my granny's
meet on my aunties and unclesand cousins and stuff.
But whereas when, like previousyears, I would have gone out
Christmas Eve, I would have donethe 10 or 12 pops, when you go
to like 12 different pops andyou drink different things and I
(11:39):
actually heard like warnings onthe radio about the 12 popss.
They were saying, like you know, just be careful, maybe try and
have like a non-alcoholic drinkin one of the pubs, because the
amount of young people that aregoing in and they're getting
their stomachs pumped was justlike right through the roof
around this time at Christmasand slips and falls and
(12:01):
everything else, and just that.
I'm from a very regional area,so they're short of um 35
doctors, so it's like they justhave to constantly bring
awareness to other people tojust stopping.
You know, just be a bit moremindful, basically.
And so, yeah, it was definitelyinteresting and when I hit the
(12:24):
milestone I was on new year'sEve and I was in my house for
New Year's Eve, so I wouldusually be out.
But yeah, I didn't feel likethis year was a big one around
here to go out.
I don't know if it was just theweather We've been having a lot
of snow the last few days andweeks but I was just in, cosied
(12:44):
up next to my mom for thecountdown, and, yeah, that was
kind of it, I guess, but it'snice to know that I made the
milestone and then I'm going tocontinue with my choice and that
other people are making thechoice as well, because it kind
of helps as well feel a bit lessalone.
What I will say, though, is likeI love, um, a lot of the Irish
(13:07):
culture, like there's a lot ofpub culture, and I mean I love
the fact that you can go into apub and there's traditional
music, there's people dancing,having chat, like really
heart-to-heart chats, and I feellike it's probably much like
the UK, where it's kind ofdifficult for people to kind of
speak up vulnerably and to talkabout what's going on if they're
(13:30):
having any troubles or if theyjust want to talk to someone,
and usually all that stuff comesup when they're drinking
alcohol at the pub, and, yeah,so I do see it as a bit of an
outlet for some people, and, um,obviously there's healthier
ways, or just alternative waysmaybe, even of doing it, and, um
(13:51):
, yeah, it was, it was just nice.
It's nice to be in the pub andto listen to a proper trad and
to just be dancing again, likemy fondest memories is just yeah
, dancing with my dad around theIrish music and just being able
to dance with people you don'tknow and just have the crack and
all that kind of stuff.
So it's trying to find a waylike to still be myself, like
(14:19):
when I'm in that kind ofenvironment.
I find it easier to be wittyand to have the crack.
In smaller environments, likemy work environment, for example
, I feel a bit safer to do so.
Yeah, it's just easier.
But when I'm drinking I can bethat same person that I am in
work, but I just find it hard tobe that same person in work.
When I'm drinking, I can bethat same person that I am in
work, but I just find it hard tobe that same person in work
(14:41):
when I'm not drinking out, so Ican get a little bit more
insecure.
So it's just kind of trying tofind, yeah, how to grow in that
area as well.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I guess is my next step yeah, well, that's amazing
that you managed to get throughall of that and, like, how did
you navigate being in the pubsthen without the booze?
Like were you still dancing andable to do all of that?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, I was still dancing, I struggled with my
wittiness, so like just havingthe crack, I guess.
Yeah, I don't know, maybe I'mthinking too much or too much in
my head around that timebecause of what's going on, and
like I was drinking soda water,I think at the time.
(15:28):
And yeah, just talking topeople that you know, my dad
would know or my cousins wouldknow, and just not being as
quick, I don't know if it'sbecause everything's louder and
yeah, like there's a lot goingon and when you're sober you're
more aware and maybe that's likethe insight that I'm having
from it now, whereas when you'redrinking you're just kind of in
(15:52):
the zone and that's it.
And you're yeah, I don't know,and that's it.
And you're yeah, I don't know,you're more like looser, I guess
.
So, yeah, I think that's.
I definitely can still dance,like when I'm drinking or when
I'm not drinking, and I can havelike awesome chats and I just
enjoy listening to the music.
But yeah, it was good and Iadmire the pubs here.
(16:14):
Like they're they're stunning,like each one is different from
the next.
And, um, there was a new pub inmy town and honestly, it was
like going through a tunnel andyou just didn't know what was
going to come next.
The size of it from the outsideyou would never, you know,
think what's on in the inside.
I'm sure you probably have alot of those kind of nice pubs
in the UK as well.
(16:35):
But yeah, they're just, they'rereally nice, they're warm and
cozy, especially in the coldweather.
And yeah, I think as well like Iwas doing the canvassing for
someone who was running for theelection, because obviously our
(16:55):
friend, it's our friend'spartner's brother and they were
all having like a hot port tocelebrate and I love hot port,
like it's like probably one ofmy favorite drinks and that's
what I would have probablystarted off having when I was
doing the hunts on the horsesand stuff like that.
Someone would give you a hotport on top of the horse to stay
(17:16):
warm.
And I remember them all sayinglike let's go have a hot port on
top of the horse to stay warm.
And I remember them all sayinglike let's go have a hot port.
And I was like, oh my god, likethere's no like non-alcoholic
port or like what can I havealternatively to a hot port?
And I was just like, oh, I'llhave coke, and I don't even like
coke, like coca-cola, that muchlike I was just like I'll have
it in the cinema maybe sometimes, but I didn't know what to have
(17:37):
.
But I actually chose a drinkthat I don't like over one that
I really like, because it wasalcoholic and I was like, oh,
this feels so wrong.
But yeah, I would have, yeah,paid the price then of just,
yeah, going against what I'mgoing towards as well.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
So yeah, yeah, I was gonna say because it sounds like
there's something that's been,you know, keeping you strong in
your decision because, likegoing back to Ireland, going to
pubs, having your firstChristmas, like that's pretty,
that's pretty bold stuff.
I think that you know I've been, I've been saying so I haven't
yet had a Christmas back home inthe UK alcohol-free.
(18:17):
This was my third alcohol-freeChristmas and I definitely would
like embrace all the pubs andeverything and all the
traditions, because I'm socemented in my alcohol-free
lifestyle now that I would justI can't wait, can't wait to go
home next year and to have analcohol-free Christmas back home
.
But like you've done it quiteearly on, with it being like
(18:38):
your first, yeah, but I thinklike what?
What do you think like whenthat drink that hot pot and all
the things that you loved inthose traditions, what do you
think was like really keepingyou saying no and keeping you
staying on that sober path?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I think, knowing that I had a milestone to reach,
like I was like I have to makeit to new year's eve, like I
have to just complete that onemilestone and get past this
stage and I'm not going to ruinthat like.
So I think, well, like what youare like, silver chapter is
(19:15):
like it's like doing it for achapter.
So, rather than the fear oflike oh, I can never drink
alcohol again, it's a full-timelife commitment.
If you commit to at least achapter, like you're, just your
aim is just a bit more clear andit's not so far-fetched.
So you feel like moreachievable.
(19:36):
And yeah, that's kind of whereit was.
I was like I just need to makethis milestone, otherwise, like
what, why have I gotten this far?
Like I went in, I went in towin it, you know.
Like otherwise, I didn't wantto come second place, like in my
own race, um.
So, yeah, it was just kind oflike no, I have to do the
(19:57):
milestone.
And as well, anytime I thoughtabout drinking, I try and
envision how I feel afterwards,like the day afterwards or, um,
even like after the drink now,because, yeah, I just I don't
know.
It just kind of helps me bringback the memories that I don't
actually want to drink um,because of the after effects, I
(20:22):
guess.
Yeah, I wish I felt like I wasscuffling down all the sweets,
though yeah yeah yeah, um, yeah,it's interesting, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (20:34):
because that's yeah, like with the sober chapter
concept, like for me, I mean, mychapter was 22 months and I
remember there was a couple oftimes during that chapter where
I probably felt similar to youwith the Christmas temptation or
whatever it might have been.
And, yeah, I was like no, Ihave a milestone and it was.
(20:56):
You know, every differentapproaches work for different
people.
But I think a lot of people doseem to resonate with that
milestone chapter thing and I doknow for me, I I think I
probably would have drank if Ihadn't had that, you know,
because it was like, and then bythe time I did get to 22 months
, I was like no way, life gottoo good and it's like that's
why you kind of like need toallow yourself to really embody
(21:20):
and embrace an alcohol-free lifelong enough to then not want to
go back anyway.
I think it's a really weirdidentity thing as well, isn't it
?
Because, like for me, Iremember when I was taking the
breaks for years and then I didthe chapter, but every time I
took a break it was kind of like.
I remember being like am I adrinker, am I not drink?
Non-drinker, like for ages.
And then when you fall on theside of like actually being a
(21:41):
non-drinker, like you almostdon't want to go back to then
having a decision to make,because then you've got the
noise of like, oh, shall I,shan't I like, even if you have
one drink, you're kind of adrinker again, aren't you?
And then you've got to go backthrough will, will I have one?
Will I not?
Will I drive?
Will I not?
Will I?
You know, and that's what I'mreally grateful not to have that
(22:04):
mental chatter or any decisionsto make anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I think that's been big for me.
Do you resonate with that?
Yeah, definitely, yeah, 100%.
And I still have the innerchatter sometimes I'm like, oh,
like, is you know if it was likelooking at a food diet and you
know, everything's healthy inmoderation, and I still think
that.
I still think that goes to saylike everything is healthy in
(22:26):
moderation.
Um, so it's actually easier forme to just actually give up
alcohol entirely because, um,moderation, just, yeah, it would
be the indecisiveness aboutwhen, what, how driving, like I
love being able to drive homeafter a night out, or to be able
to get my family home safe aswell, like knowing that I didn't
(22:50):
drink, and um, yeah, it justseems like.
It just feels like a betterchoice, um, for me personally,
anyways, and, um, I really justcare about, you know, the
decisions I'm making about beingon the road.
I know some people they wouldbe kind of a bit mindless when
(23:12):
they're drinking and they'relike, oh, I just had one or two,
I'm gonna go and drive home orwhatever.
And, yeah, I just keep onseeing it as like I'm making
better, I'm trying to make abetter decision, um, and then
again I'll wake up the next dayand I'll be able to do many
things that I might not havedone if I did.
(23:32):
And, yeah, for me that's whatkind of works, I guess.
Um, yeah, it's been nice andI've actually noticed as well, a
lot more people I guess it's aglobal thing are just getting
more into their health andfitness.
Like each day, they're startingto recognize the importance of
it, longevity, and go for walks,to talk, and it's it's
(23:56):
definitely like massive here inIreland as well, like I feel so
lucky I get to go out and go forwalks around the countryside,
the beach and everything with myfamily, dogs, whatever.
And um, yeah, it's just it'snice to see that it's a global
movement rather than just likesingular movements.
(24:18):
At a time, yeah, I rememberlike people telling me they
didn't drink and it could havebeen for religious reasons, and
I was always like, oh, like Idon't know if I could, you know,
be with someone that doesn'tdrink, like that was actually
something that was in my head.
I don't know if I could be withsomeone that doesn't drink,
because then we can't have tocrack together.
Like that's how my mind kind ofwas and like now I'm just kind
(24:42):
of like whoa, like it's, it'sjust interesting what my
perspective was.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Um, yeah, yeah, and how that changes.
Yeah, because, like for me now,like that was one of my
concerns was, you know, withlike dating, and you know I
always liked the party boysbefore and, gosh, I could never
have imagined going out withsomebody that didn't drink,
whereas now it's kind of likeflipped right round and I limit
(25:08):
the pool massively because Idon't think I want anyone that
drinks at all, like I kind of Idon't know.
I think even if if they were, Ithink alcohol would have to be
pretty insignificant in theirlife.
But even from you know how I amwith like the spiritual aspect
and you know all of that I thinkI would want someone that's on
the same wavelength completelyand just gets what I believe in
(25:33):
with all of that.
So I think now I'm like theother way around.
Before I was, like you know,wanted the party boy drinker,
and now I'm like, uh, absolutelynot swerve that completely,
which I think is only a goodthing.
And, yeah, often, just yeah, I,I would love, I would love my,
my ideal thing would be to meetsomeone who doesn't drink for
(25:54):
sure, because I think I don'tknow, I just think it's going
back to the health thing as well.
Like to.
I'm 40 now and to think that Inever have to worry about the
health implications of alcoholfor the rest of my life, because
it is becoming more and moreclear, like how detrimental it
is, even you know, even as alike you know minor drinker.
(26:18):
Whatever they say.
Now there's actually a lot morestatistics coming out around
the health scares and everything, and I just think what a gift
that I don't ever have to beconcerned about that now, and
you know it clearly is again,it's like so much, there's just
so much freedom.
I think around it like massiveamounts of freedom, and I always
(26:41):
say it.
But it is that short-term pain,long-term gain, because I think
you get to the point where it'slike, well, why, why would I
bother bringing it back into mylife.
Now I've like crossed thismassive point where it's no
longer a factor in my life and Ican embrace everything and more
without it.
So it's pretty cool, like whywould I bother?
(27:02):
And I think, yeah, it's good,it's really good to get to that
point.
What are you thinking now then,now that you've got to a year,
have you got any thoughts aroundwhat you're going to do?
Speaker 2 (27:11):
yeah, I'm gonna keep going, sure, yeah, um, I just
feel like, yeah, I it's notnecessarily going backwards,
like I still think, yeah, like Icould maybe be indecisive about
moderation now that I've donethe milestone.
But I'm not going to do it andI want to keep going forward in
(27:35):
a direction I've never beenbefore and I was talking to a
personal trainer recently and,um, yeah, we're just having a
conversation on the phone aboutgoals and everything else, and
when I said I was alcohol free,he just lit up and it was so
nice because he's also Irish,he's like in the next town to me
(27:55):
and, yeah, he just lit up.
He was like I went alcohol freefor I think he said 10 months
and within those 10 months heopened up three businesses and
he smashed them and he wasmanaged to.
He like sold out of two.
And now he's yeah, he's beenreally, really successful in his
fitness business now and,honestly, like his results
(28:19):
really show and yeah, it'sreally cool just to kind of get
that response like just lightingup.
I don't actually get that.
I think, actually, that's likethe first time I've received oh,
no, okay, it's not the firsttime in Ireland, though for sure
that I've received that.
Um, so it was really good,definitely going to keep going
(28:39):
forward.
Um, it can get a bit lonelysometimes.
That's what I've noticed.
I don't know if it's lonelinessbecause of, like,
entrepreneurship or if it's thealcohol, but you know, most of
your weekends don't.
Well, personally, like I guessit depends on your choices my
weekends don't look like megoing out as like as much
(28:59):
anymore, to be honest, and um,yeah, I think sometimes that can
feel a little bit lonely, um,especially seeing all my friends
from school and stuff going outthis time of the year and I
guess it was just a funny timetoo, like with the passing and
everything and it was justpersonal choice to kind of stay
in.
But, um, yeah, just kind offigure out.
(29:23):
Like you know, I want to stillbe able to enjoy myself.
I think I said on the last oneas well, I want to have a dance,
like I always feel like I haveso much love in my heart after
I've had a full night outdancing.
Um, so, yeah, sober events oreven just going out to normal
events and just not drinking.
I guess I need to do a bit moreof that and push myself a bit
(29:46):
more out of that comfort zone.
Um, I'm not as isolated, but,yeah, definitely going forward
and lots of personal development, uh, lots of studying and, yeah
, particularly arounddiversifying income, I guess,
because, uh, inflation is athing and there's a lot of stuff
(30:10):
going on in the world.
But, yeah, it's given me timethat I never had, or it felt
like I had, and I'm seeing moreonline with mentors and, um,
successful business owners andlike who just gave up alcohol
and they just see, as you know,putting toxins in their body,
(30:32):
and I'm just kind of likelearning from them, not
necessarily just around that,but watching what they do and
trying to see like a replicaprocess.
Like you know, why is it thatthey don't do it?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
and yeah, it's just a massive productivity hack,
right like.
It's a bit like what you justmentioned with that guy that set
up three businesses when youwent alcohol free.
I look at me like I'm in a.
I was in a really, you know,hectic recruitment sales role
and managed to set up a coachingbusiness, which I never, ever
ever would have been able toeven dream about doing that at
(31:08):
the same time, and I think that,yeah, more and more people are
speaking out about it being athing because I remember I
always say this to my clients aswell around like getting that
kind of like shift inperspective, um, changing your
mindset by looking at people whoyou admire and how many of them
actually don't drink in thatpersonal growth world, because I
(31:30):
was following people like TonyRobbins, gabby Bernstein, brené
Brown, um even like like HagiDunlop, who I was obsessed with
from Made in Chelsea and youknow all these different people,
and I was just like, oh mygoodness, like none of them
drink and they don't necessarilybang on about it, but when you
look into it, a huge amount ofthese really successful people
(31:52):
out there don't drink and I justthink there's no coincidence in
that is there.
You know, that's, that was.
That's always been a big part ofthe whole sober chapter concept
.
It's like, well, what's alcoholholding you back from really
achieving?
Like, what could you, whatcould you achieve if you removed
it for a chapter and just likewent all in on those consistent
(32:14):
baby steps towards your goalsand dreams, because it has such
a huge compound effect, because,so you know, like, say, a
complete productivity hack, likemore time, more energy, more
clarity, more courage to keepfacing your fears, and then
there's all the healing workthat happens as well, right, in
terms of the insecurities thatyou end up overcoming, and it's
just, it's kind of a bit of ano-brainer, I think yeah, I
(32:37):
think, yeah, yeah, definitely,yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
I think I think I was really proud just lately of how
I'd be able to look deeper andtry and reflect and understand
situations from differentperspectives and just like yeah,
for example, if it was like, um, just not so much an argument
(33:04):
but just a response that Ididn't like or something
happened I didn't like, and justbeing able to, instead of
reacting, like diving deeper andtrying to find a different
emotional response, like, Ithink I've been able to do a lot
of like um, deep healing, Iguess, and um, that was
definitely needed and um, it'salways going to be an
(33:28):
ever-growing journey, but it'sgiven me that opportunity as
well.
So, um, that's been good because, in, rather than using
distractions, um, just beingable to face, face these things
face to face and to actuallydeal with them and to try and
grow from them and heal fromthem or learn from them, it's
(33:49):
been.
It's really good.
Um, but yeah, I like, I do,like I'm just literally looking
out the window now and like I'mlooking at mountain, like
Crowpatrick lakes, fields, snow,and my country is absolutely
beautiful and, yeah, I'm so.
The landscape is insane and Iappreciate our culture, and
(34:11):
alcohol is a huge part to dowith our culture and everything
else.
So so I'm really interested tosee on how this movement kind of
grows um and how we can stillkeep our traditions, like the
pub culture, you know, the tradmusic and everything else, the
banter chats um, with just lessalcohol like I'm really
(34:33):
interested goes yeah stillcommunity, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
you know you can still go there and do it without
the boots, like, yeah, I thinkit takes a bit of time.
It does take a bit of time, butyou know you can.
You can definitely get therefor sure, especially when you're
with like the right people andeverything.
Oh yeah, taking the other likebeautiful things, like the
culture and all of that.
Funny, isn't it?
(34:57):
Because I did Galway races.
Galway was one of my first, wasone of my first things, alcohol
free that was.
That was intense because I gotthree months alcohol free at
that point and I remember beingin these pubs and there was just
like wild amount of likedancing.
But I actually loved it becauseI think when there's that much
character and culture you cankind of like have an amazing
(35:21):
time.
Anyway, if you're sat somewherereally sterile you'd be like,
oh, this is boring.
No, I loved it, I absolutelyloved it and I love that you've
come back on again and I'venoticed we've got quite a few
Irish listeners, so I'm surethey would have been intrigued
to hear how you found it all.
And I guess to anyone that islistening, like what would be a
(35:42):
bit of advice that comes to mindabout how to navigate kind of
the old, traditional kind ofways of doing things.
I guess when alcohol free.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I think it starts by putting yourself out there.
Like I'm going to be goingthrough that journey
continuously myself, like tryingto go out more with my friends,
even if that means, like youknow, just being the non-drinker
there and just embracing it,and, yeah, just embracing it and
(36:13):
just taking the courage to stepout of that comfort zone.
I guess, and yeah, I guessthat's where I would definitely
say to start, but to not beisolating yourself just because
of a decision you've made that'sdifferent to others, and to
continue to find alternativeways to maybe, yeah, hang out
(36:37):
with your friends, whateverthat's going.
Hiking, I see, hiking it's likejust taken off a lot in ireland
, like, um, there's more meetupgroups, just like in perth, and,
yeah, exploring the hobbies orthe things that you've always
wanted to do but you've notwanted to do.
Like, um, yeah, there's lots ofthings like self-discovery I
(37:02):
actually I've read that littleebook that I did.
I have loads of this kind ofstuff in it that I'll probably
start sharing soon um, but, yeah, just about discovering what it
is that you want your life tolook like and putting yourself
out there bit by bit, makingthose first few steps I don't
know.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, Thank you.
And yeah, it's just, it'scontinually, continuously facing
those fears and expanding yourcomfort zone and there's always
going to be that bit ofuncomfortableness and the
resistance, but you do literallyexpand it the more and more you
do it.
And you know, speaking frombeing two and a half years
(37:43):
alcohol free, now there isn'tany situation where I ever think
about drinking at all, and itdoesn't mean that I go to all
the same things anymore.
I'm probably more selective andI want to make sure that it's
things that light me up and Iprobably have in place.
But yeah, I'm able to doeverything and more that I want
to do without it.
So it definitely.
It definitely gets to the pointwhere it's just not even a
(38:07):
thing anymore yeah yeah, I'msuper grateful for that.
But well done my darling.
I was gonna cut you off.
What were you gonna say?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I think it's really nice, um, the friends obviously
my closest friends like we wouldalways go out and enjoy a drink
together or whatever and adance, but, um, lately, like
it's been going for coffee andshopping together for other
loved ones or, uh, going, that'slike been one thing, even
though I'm not doing the fishing, I'm watching them do the
(38:38):
fishing, like I don't know, butlike just finding ways to
explore the same connectionoutside and, to be honest,
you'll actually get to know yourfriends a lot more, like
because quality time with themand yeah, yeah, I think that's
kind of, yeah, the nicest partabout it all, um, is getting to
(39:03):
know each other on a deeperlevel.
So, yeah, thank you for havingme.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Come back home soon, missy, and live with me.
For anyone that hasn't heardhazel before, hazel actually was
living with me before she hadto go back to ireland, so I'm
hoping she comes back to thehouse soon.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Yeah, I should be there.
My course starts on the 3rd offebruary, so let's see how it
all goes.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, congrats on everything lovely.
Speak to you soon.
Thanks for sharing.
Bye.
welcome to another episode of the sober chapters
podcast, and I'm back today withmy beautiful friend, hazel.
I think this is the third timeshe's been on and this time she
is back home in ireland, so italways seems like we've got a
different location every timeand lots of updates from her
(00:24):
side.
She has just reached one yearalcohol free, so I thought it'd
be good to get her on, and alsojust experienced her first
Christmas back in Ireland, so Ithought those were two really
great topics to talk about today.
But I'll pass you over to Hazelto say hi again and thanks,
(00:45):
hazel, for joining us.
Speaker 2 (00:48):
Thanks, didi.
It's so nice to be back on andjust to be in my own home as
well whilst doing it.
So, yeah, it's so lovely, yeah.
So thanks for thecongratulations on my milestone,
my one year mark, and yeah it's.
It's actually reallyinteresting because I didn't
(01:10):
find it difficult at all upuntil the Christmas.
Um, and yeah, that's like superinteresting because anyone that
kind of said, oh, like you'renot drinking or why don't you
drink, and um, I just wasn't toobothered by it, but this year
it's just actually really hit me.
(01:32):
I think when it kind of startedto hit me was before leaving
Perth, um, when I had aChristmas party for work and
everyone was talking about itand I just kind of thought, oh
my god, I'm, I'm actuallyanxious, because usually at
Christmas parties you can have afew drinks, you loosen up a bit
and then you get to know yourcolleagues and and I think
(01:54):
that's some of my fondestmemories from my previous jobs
as well it's just kind ofletting loose, having the chats
and and, yeah, dancing away,whatever, recklessly, wildly,
whatever, and yeah, just beinganother side of your yourself
around your workers and um, yeah, so that was kind of haunting
(02:16):
me a little bit and I was like,oh, should I just have like one
or two, maybe that will loosenme up a bit, like I was already
having those questions in mymind.
And then I was like, no, youknow what, I'm gonna keep going,
it's not gonna feel worth it.
The following day and Iremember one of the last times I
drank was at, um, the PappinessCo ball like not this year gone
(02:42):
, but the year before and Iremember just talking the head
off someone and just having somuch anxiety the next day like,
oh my god, what did I say tothem?
Or whatever, and I was like Idon't miss that feeling, so
let's just keep going, um, butthen obviously I came home and
it was just a weird time, like,um, my granny, she was really
(03:04):
sick and it was kind of suddenthat she was sick.
Um, so, yeah, it was just alittle bit sudden that she was
unwell and then eventually shepassed, uh, whilst I was home.
So it was, in fact, it wasreally good timing that I did
come home.
Uh, I was able to be there forher and for my aunties, my
(03:27):
uncles and, most importantly, mydad.
But when she passed, you knowit's proper Irish tradition that
you spend, you know, the nightsin the house drinking and you
know, sharing stories,everything else and everyone was
having hot whiskeys or Guinnessand I was like I felt really
(03:50):
like I don't know.
Do I feel left out, because I'mnot kind of having a few drinks
here and then Should I justhave a whiskey or a brandy?
in honour of my granny and thatkind of ended up being from not
only from the house, but then weended up going to a hotel
(04:11):
because my granny got cremated.
And then you know, my dad has15, there's 15 in their family,
so he has 14 brothers andsisters, so kids, I'm one of 39
(04:33):
grandchildren just on my, mydad's side.
So yeah, I have 47 cousins and,um, yeah, 17 grandchildren,
some woman and just in the hotel, like it was great, we all had,
like I know, yeah, no tvs backthen and I think she only
stopped.
I think she only stoppedbecause my, my granddad died,
like um, quite young.
So I feel like which isactually eye-opening to me was
(04:55):
that she was a single mother of15 children for like 37 years or
36 years, almost 37, um, butyeah, so I was just like, oh, I
want to have a few drinks in thehotel.
My cousins, you know, evensmoking, smoking came up to me.
I used to smoke and, um, yeah,I'm, I'm years away from smoking
(05:18):
, but just going out into thesmoking area I'd see all my
cousins go outside and they'rehaving the good chats and
everything.
And it was the cousins thatwere kind of similar to my age
and that I get on with mostly,and I was just like, oh my god,
I went outside anyways and I waschatting to them, I just kind
of braved, but I felt like Idon't know.
(05:40):
I felt like maybe people aregoing to think that I'm judging
them because they're smoking anddrinking and I'm there saying
them that, whereas when I haveno judgment towards it, I just
don't necessarily want to do itmyself and I've been there and
I've done that and yeah, then Iactually found out as well that
(06:01):
the non-alcoholic Heineken'sgive the worst hangovers ever.
Um, I'm not sure if you knewthat, but Heineken Zero give
hangovers, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (06:13):
I've noticed that if I some of the non-alcoholic like
and even some of thenon-alcoholic wines, I think, I
think it's the chemicals heyyeah, I don't know if it's like
malt or well, actually therewouldn't be malt in the wine.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I should have actually looked up why.
But, um, yeah, it's just, itwas just interesting because
some days I'd go out and I'd behaving the zeros or whatever and
I'd feel like I have a hangoverand I was like, why do I have a
hangover?
Someone listening to thisdefinitely has an answer.
Um, but yeah, it was just cool.
It was cool to to kind of keepgoing and to not break, uh,
(06:50):
everything that I've kind ofdone already.
Um, but a lot of feelings didcome up, like I went, went up to
my room for like a few hours.
I was doing stuff on the laptopas well, but yeah, I just kind
of needed like a mental breakand then I went back down and
had the best chats ever, but Iwas so glad I went back down.
It just took a little bit ofcourage for me, um, whereas when
(07:13):
, if I was drinking, I wouldhave stayed, I would have been
fine and would have been grand.
Um, but yeah, it's actually it'sa big movement in Ireland now
as well, like I heard on theradio the last day that it's the
lowest rate of alcoholconsumption for young people in
over 35 years.
(07:34):
So it's dropped.
Like alcohol consumption hasdropped by 15 percent.
I think I shared a story yeah,it's pretty cool, like yeah, and
then the ceo of moe like themoe or moe the champagne was
like people just don't haveanything to celebrate anymore.
I was like they're celebratingtheir health, like they're just
(07:55):
making changes, you know, and um, obviously, I'm pretty sure you
probably mentioned this, butireland's like the first country
to start advertising it ontheir alcohol labels that it
causes illnesses and cancers.
Speaker 1 (08:11):
Yeah, they were the first to pass the law and I
think that by the end of 2026, Ithink, isn't it that they have
to have labels on everything,and I think something similar
has just happened in the US justrecently.
In the US as well, it'sdefinitely changing.
I changing, I think.
Yeah, I think big alcohol areprobably a little bit concerned,
and I actually think this iswhy some of the mock sales and
(08:33):
the non-alcoholic options aregetting so expensive, because I
think they're probably lookingdown at it all, thinking, well,
we've got to make some moneyfrom somewhere in the future if
this like continues to change,which is clearly going to like
the rate that it's happening.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just think it's incrediblethat you went home to Ireland
and navigated your firstChristmas and in Ireland, of all
(08:57):
places, alcohol free and Iwanted to like just ask you more
around that, I suppose, likehow was it received and how did
you handle that as well?
Speaker 2 (09:10):
Um, yeah, I think it was like the thoughts out of my
head was just concerned aboutwhat other people were thinking,
in a way, like I was also a bitanxious about how I had to say
I wasn't drinking, like, oh, doI have to make up a story that
I'm on antibiotics or that youknow like what's my story?
Because that's what I used tohave to do when I was younger.
(09:31):
I think I stopped drinking.
Imagine I had to give upexcuses of why I'm not drinking
at like 16 years old, because Igave it up for like six months,
when I was 16, I think, and itwas just that I was on
antibiotics, that's all I wassaying.
Um, but I think, yeah, I wasjust saying, oh, I don't drink
anymore, it's just personalchoice.
And, um, you know, I just keptbeing questioned like why?
(09:53):
And I was just like I don'tknow.
I just I for me, like honestly,it was because of the um
inflammation that I was gettingin my body and it wasn't helping
with my condition or whatever.
And then, obviously, Icontinued to stop because I
started to see the benefits andhow I was getting to learn more
(10:13):
about myself and bring moreawareness and mindfulness and
spend more time on like selfdevelopment or my business, or
just like kind of being more, um, yeah, just careful about what
it is that I'm doing day by day.
Like I felt like when I drinkit wouldn't just be that one
night, like the next day I'd behanging and then I'd be eating
(10:35):
really crappy food and then I'dfeel really bad from the crappy
food, and it was just like acycle that I was in and then I
would check my bank account andI spent money without even
looking and whatever.
So I still struggle with thatsometimes too, but, um, but yeah
, so I think it was.
It was definitely difficultbecause I had the reckless
(10:56):
moments of, like you know,effort, like I'm gonna throw
everything up in the air,especially around my granny
passing, and I'm just gonna havea whiskey.
That's what I just kept onthinking.
I'm just gonna have a whiskeyand um, yeah, so that was kind
of it.
And Christmas, I guess, waskind of a little bit easier,
just because I was around thetime when she passed.
(11:18):
So we didn't have like amassive Christmas.
We had some games at the houseand we did go to my granny's
meet on my aunties and unclesand cousins and stuff.
But whereas when, like previousyears, I would have gone out
Christmas Eve, I would have donethe 10 or 12 pops, when you go
to like 12 different pops andyou drink different things and I
(11:39):
actually heard like warnings onthe radio about the 12 popss.
They were saying, like you know, just be careful, maybe try and
have like a non-alcoholic drinkin one of the pubs, because the
amount of young people that aregoing in and they're getting
their stomachs pumped was justlike right through the roof
around this time at Christmasand slips and falls and
(12:01):
everything else, and just that.
I'm from a very regional area,so they're short of um 35
doctors, so it's like they justhave to constantly bring
awareness to other people tojust stopping.
You know, just be a bit moremindful, basically.
And so, yeah, it was definitelyinteresting and when I hit the
(12:24):
milestone I was on new year'sEve and I was in my house for
New Year's Eve, so I wouldusually be out.
But yeah, I didn't feel likethis year was a big one around
here to go out.
I don't know if it was just theweather We've been having a lot
of snow the last few days andweeks but I was just in, cosied
(12:44):
up next to my mom for thecountdown, and, yeah, that was
kind of it, I guess, but it'snice to know that I made the
milestone and then I'm going tocontinue with my choice and that
other people are making thechoice as well, because it kind
of helps as well feel a bit lessalone.
What I will say, though, is likeI love, um, a lot of the Irish
(13:07):
culture, like there's a lot ofpub culture, and I mean I love
the fact that you can go into apub and there's traditional
music, there's people dancing,having chat, like really
heart-to-heart chats, and I feellike it's probably much like
the UK, where it's kind ofdifficult for people to kind of
speak up vulnerably and to talkabout what's going on if they're
(13:30):
having any troubles or if theyjust want to talk to someone,
and usually all that stuff comesup when they're drinking
alcohol at the pub, and, yeah,so I do see it as a bit of an
outlet for some people, and, um,obviously there's healthier
ways, or just alternative waysmaybe, even of doing it, and, um
(13:51):
, yeah, it was, it was just nice.
It's nice to be in the pub andto listen to a proper trad and
to just be dancing again, likemy fondest memories is just yeah
, dancing with my dad around theIrish music and just being able
to dance with people you don'tknow and just have the crack and
all that kind of stuff.
So it's trying to find a waylike to still be myself, like
(14:19):
when I'm in that kind ofenvironment.
I find it easier to be wittyand to have the crack.
In smaller environments, likemy work environment, for example
, I feel a bit safer to do so.
Yeah, it's just easier.
But when I'm drinking I can bethat same person that I am in
work, but I just find it hard tobe that same person in work.
When I'm drinking, I can bethat same person that I am in
work, but I just find it hard tobe that same person in work
(14:41):
when I'm not drinking out, so Ican get a little bit more
insecure.
So it's just kind of trying tofind, yeah, how to grow in that
area as well.
Speaker 1 (14:50):
I guess is my next step yeah, well, that's amazing
that you managed to get throughall of that and, like, how did
you navigate being in the pubsthen without the booze?
Like were you still dancing andable to do all of that?
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yeah, I was still dancing, I struggled with my
wittiness, so like just havingthe crack, I guess.
Yeah, I don't know, maybe I'mthinking too much or too much in
my head around that timebecause of what's going on, and
like I was drinking soda water,I think at the time.
(15:28):
And yeah, just talking topeople that you know, my dad
would know or my cousins wouldknow, and just not being as
quick, I don't know if it'sbecause everything's louder and
yeah, like there's a lot goingon and when you're sober you're
more aware and maybe that's likethe insight that I'm having
from it now, whereas when you'redrinking you're just kind of in
(15:52):
the zone and that's it.
And you're yeah, I don't know,and that's it.
And you're yeah, I don't know,you're more like looser, I guess
.
So, yeah, I think that's.
I definitely can still dance,like when I'm drinking or when
I'm not drinking, and I can havelike awesome chats and I just
enjoy listening to the music.
But yeah, it was good and Iadmire the pubs here.
(16:14):
Like they're they're stunning,like each one is different from
the next.
And, um, there was a new pub inmy town and honestly, it was
like going through a tunnel andyou just didn't know what was
going to come next.
The size of it from the outsideyou would never, you know,
think what's on in the inside.
I'm sure you probably have alot of those kind of nice pubs
in the UK as well.
(16:35):
But yeah, they're just, they'rereally nice, they're warm and
cozy, especially in the coldweather.
And yeah, I think as well like Iwas doing the canvassing for
someone who was running for theelection, because obviously our
(16:55):
friend, it's our friend'spartner's brother and they were
all having like a hot port tocelebrate and I love hot port,
like it's like probably one ofmy favorite drinks and that's
what I would have probablystarted off having when I was
doing the hunts on the horsesand stuff like that.
Someone would give you a hotport on top of the horse to stay
(17:16):
warm.
And I remember them all sayinglike let's go have a hot port on
top of the horse to stay warm.
And I remember them all sayinglike let's go have a hot port.
And I was like, oh my god, likethere's no like non-alcoholic
port or like what can I havealternatively to a hot port?
And I was just like, oh, I'llhave coke, and I don't even like
coke, like coca-cola, that muchlike I was just like I'll have
it in the cinema maybe sometimes, but I didn't know what to have
(17:37):
.
But I actually chose a drinkthat I don't like over one that
I really like, because it wasalcoholic and I was like, oh,
this feels so wrong.
But yeah, I would have, yeah,paid the price then of just,
yeah, going against what I'mgoing towards as well.
Speaker 1 (17:54):
So yeah, yeah, I was gonna say because it sounds like
there's something that's been,you know, keeping you strong in
your decision because, likegoing back to Ireland, going to
pubs, having your firstChristmas, like that's pretty,
that's pretty bold stuff.
I think that you know I've been, I've been saying so I haven't
yet had a Christmas back home inthe UK alcohol-free.
(18:17):
This was my third alcohol-freeChristmas and I definitely would
like embrace all the pubs andeverything and all the
traditions, because I'm socemented in my alcohol-free
lifestyle now that I would justI can't wait, can't wait to go
home next year and to have analcohol-free Christmas back home
.
But like you've done it quiteearly on, with it being like
(18:38):
your first, yeah, but I thinklike what?
What do you think like whenthat drink that hot pot and all
the things that you loved inthose traditions, what do you
think was like really keepingyou saying no and keeping you
staying on that sober path?
Speaker 2 (18:54):
I think, knowing that I had a milestone to reach,
like I was like I have to makeit to new year's eve, like I
have to just complete that onemilestone and get past this
stage and I'm not going to ruinthat like.
So I think, well, like what youare like, silver chapter is
(19:15):
like it's like doing it for achapter.
So, rather than the fear oflike oh, I can never drink
alcohol again, it's a full-timelife commitment.
If you commit to at least achapter, like you're, just your
aim is just a bit more clear andit's not so far-fetched.
So you feel like moreachievable.
(19:36):
And yeah, that's kind of whereit was.
I was like I just need to makethis milestone, otherwise, like
what, why have I gotten this far?
Like I went in, I went in towin it, you know.
Like otherwise, I didn't wantto come second place, like in my
own race, um.
So, yeah, it was just kind oflike no, I have to do the
(19:57):
milestone.
And as well, anytime I thoughtabout drinking, I try and
envision how I feel afterwards,like the day afterwards or, um,
even like after the drink now,because, yeah, I just I don't
know.
It just kind of helps me bringback the memories that I don't
actually want to drink um,because of the after effects, I
(20:22):
guess.
Yeah, I wish I felt like I wasscuffling down all the sweets,
though yeah yeah yeah, um, yeah,it's interesting, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (20:34):
because that's yeah, like with the sober chapter
concept, like for me, I mean, mychapter was 22 months and I
remember there was a couple oftimes during that chapter where
I probably felt similar to youwith the Christmas temptation or
whatever it might have been.
And, yeah, I was like no, Ihave a milestone and it was.
(20:56):
You know, every differentapproaches work for different
people.
But I think a lot of people doseem to resonate with that
milestone chapter thing and I doknow for me, I I think I
probably would have drank if Ihadn't had that, you know,
because it was like, and then bythe time I did get to 22 months
, I was like no way, life gottoo good and it's like that's
why you kind of like need toallow yourself to really embody
(21:20):
and embrace an alcohol-free lifelong enough to then not want to
go back anyway.
I think it's a really weirdidentity thing as well, isn't it
?
Because, like for me, Iremember when I was taking the
breaks for years and then I didthe chapter, but every time I
took a break it was kind of like.
I remember being like am I adrinker, am I not drink?
Non-drinker, like for ages.
And then when you fall on theside of like actually being a
(21:41):
non-drinker, like you almostdon't want to go back to then
having a decision to make,because then you've got the
noise of like, oh, shall I,shan't I like, even if you have
one drink, you're kind of adrinker again, aren't you?
And then you've got to go backthrough will, will I have one?
Will I not?
Will I drive?
Will I not?
Will I?
You know, and that's what I'mreally grateful not to have that
(22:04):
mental chatter or any decisionsto make anymore.
Speaker 2 (22:06):
I think that's been big for me.
Do you resonate with that?
Yeah, definitely, yeah, 100%.
And I still have the innerchatter sometimes I'm like, oh,
like, is you know if it was likelooking at a food diet and you
know, everything's healthy inmoderation, and I still think
that.
I still think that goes to saylike everything is healthy in
(22:26):
moderation.
Um, so it's actually easier forme to just actually give up
alcohol entirely because, um,moderation, just, yeah, it would
be the indecisiveness aboutwhen, what, how driving, like I
love being able to drive homeafter a night out, or to be able
to get my family home safe aswell, like knowing that I didn't
(22:50):
drink, and um, yeah, it justseems like.
It just feels like a betterchoice, um, for me personally,
anyways, and, um, I really justcare about, you know, the
decisions I'm making about beingon the road.
I know some people they wouldbe kind of a bit mindless when
(23:12):
they're drinking and they'relike, oh, I just had one or two,
I'm gonna go and drive home orwhatever.
And, yeah, I just keep onseeing it as like I'm making
better, I'm trying to make abetter decision, um, and then
again I'll wake up the next dayand I'll be able to do many
things that I might not havedone if I did.
(23:32):
And, yeah, for me that's whatkind of works, I guess.
Um, yeah, it's been nice andI've actually noticed as well, a
lot more people I guess it's aglobal thing are just getting
more into their health andfitness.
Like each day, they're startingto recognize the importance of
it, longevity, and go for walks,to talk, and it's it's
(23:56):
definitely like massive here inIreland as well, like I feel so
lucky I get to go out and go forwalks around the countryside,
the beach and everything with myfamily, dogs, whatever.
And um, yeah, it's just it'snice to see that it's a global
movement rather than just likesingular movements.
(24:18):
At a time, yeah, I rememberlike people telling me they
didn't drink and it could havebeen for religious reasons, and
I was always like, oh, like Idon't know if I could, you know,
be with someone that doesn'tdrink, like that was actually
something that was in my head.
I don't know if I could be withsomeone that doesn't drink,
because then we can't have tocrack together.
Like that's how my mind kind ofwas and like now I'm just kind
(24:42):
of like whoa, like it's, it'sjust interesting what my
perspective was.
Speaker 1 (24:46):
Um, yeah, yeah, and how that changes.
Yeah, because, like for me now,like that was one of my
concerns was, you know, withlike dating, and you know I
always liked the party boysbefore and, gosh, I could never
have imagined going out withsomebody that didn't drink,
whereas now it's kind of likeflipped right round and I limit
(25:08):
the pool massively because Idon't think I want anyone that
drinks at all, like I kind of Idon't know.
I think even if if they were, Ithink alcohol would have to be
pretty insignificant in theirlife.
But even from you know how I amwith like the spiritual aspect
and you know all of that I thinkI would want someone that's on
the same wavelength completelyand just gets what I believe in
(25:33):
with all of that.
So I think now I'm like theother way around.
Before I was, like you know,wanted the party boy drinker,
and now I'm like, uh, absolutelynot swerve that completely,
which I think is only a goodthing.
And, yeah, often, just yeah, I,I would love, I would love my,
my ideal thing would be to meetsomeone who doesn't drink for
(25:54):
sure, because I think I don'tknow, I just think it's going
back to the health thing as well.
Like to.
I'm 40 now and to think that Inever have to worry about the
health implications of alcoholfor the rest of my life, because
it is becoming more and moreclear, like how detrimental it
is, even you know, even as alike you know minor drinker.
(26:18):
Whatever they say.
Now there's actually a lot morestatistics coming out around
the health scares and everything, and I just think what a gift
that I don't ever have to beconcerned about that now, and
you know it clearly is again,it's like so much, there's just
so much freedom.
I think around it like massiveamounts of freedom, and I always
(26:41):
say it.
But it is that short-term pain,long-term gain, because I think
you get to the point where it'slike, well, why, why would I
bother bringing it back into mylife.
Now I've like crossed thismassive point where it's no
longer a factor in my life and Ican embrace everything and more
without it.
So it's pretty cool, like whywould I bother?
(27:02):
And I think, yeah, it's good,it's really good to get to that
point.
What are you thinking now then,now that you've got to a year,
have you got any thoughts aroundwhat you're going to do?
Speaker 2 (27:11):
yeah, I'm gonna keep going, sure, yeah, um, I just
feel like, yeah, I it's notnecessarily going backwards,
like I still think, yeah, like Icould maybe be indecisive about
moderation now that I've donethe milestone.
But I'm not going to do it andI want to keep going forward in
(27:35):
a direction I've never beenbefore and I was talking to a
personal trainer recently and,um, yeah, we're just having a
conversation on the phone aboutgoals and everything else, and
when I said I was alcohol free,he just lit up and it was so
nice because he's also Irish,he's like in the next town to me
(27:55):
and, yeah, he just lit up.
He was like I went alcohol freefor I think he said 10 months
and within those 10 months heopened up three businesses and
he smashed them and he wasmanaged to.
He like sold out of two.
And now he's yeah, he's beenreally, really successful in his
fitness business now and,honestly, like his results
(28:19):
really show and yeah, it'sreally cool just to kind of get
that response like just lightingup.
I don't actually get that.
I think, actually, that's likethe first time I've received oh,
no, okay, it's not the firsttime in Ireland, though for sure
that I've received that.
Um, so it was really good,definitely going to keep going
(28:39):
forward.
Um, it can get a bit lonelysometimes.
That's what I've noticed.
I don't know if it's lonelinessbecause of, like,
entrepreneurship or if it's thealcohol, but you know, most of
your weekends don't.
Well, personally, like I guessit depends on your choices my
weekends don't look like megoing out as like as much
(28:59):
anymore, to be honest, and um,yeah, I think sometimes that can
feel a little bit lonely, um,especially seeing all my friends
from school and stuff going outthis time of the year and I
guess it was just a funny timetoo, like with the passing and
everything and it was justpersonal choice to kind of stay
in.
But, um, yeah, just kind offigure out.
(29:23):
Like you know, I want to stillbe able to enjoy myself.
I think I said on the last oneas well, I want to have a dance,
like I always feel like I haveso much love in my heart after
I've had a full night outdancing.
Um, so, yeah, sober events oreven just going out to normal
events and just not drinking.
I guess I need to do a bit moreof that and push myself a bit
(29:46):
more out of that comfort zone.
Um, I'm not as isolated, but,yeah, definitely going forward
and lots of personal development, uh, lots of studying and, yeah
, particularly arounddiversifying income, I guess,
because, uh, inflation is athing and there's a lot of stuff
(30:10):
going on in the world.
But, yeah, it's given me timethat I never had, or it felt
like I had, and I'm seeing moreonline with mentors and, um,
successful business owners andlike who just gave up alcohol
and they just see, as you know,putting toxins in their body,
(30:32):
and I'm just kind of likelearning from them, not
necessarily just around that,but watching what they do and
trying to see like a replicaprocess.
Like you know, why is it thatthey don't do it?
Speaker 1 (30:46):
and yeah, it's just a massive productivity hack,
right like.
It's a bit like what you justmentioned with that guy that set
up three businesses when youwent alcohol free.
I look at me like I'm in a.
I was in a really, you know,hectic recruitment sales role
and managed to set up a coachingbusiness, which I never, ever
ever would have been able toeven dream about doing that at
(31:08):
the same time, and I think that,yeah, more and more people are
speaking out about it being athing because I remember I
always say this to my clients aswell around like getting that
kind of like shift inperspective, um, changing your
mindset by looking at people whoyou admire and how many of them
actually don't drink in thatpersonal growth world, because I
(31:30):
was following people like TonyRobbins, gabby Bernstein, brené
Brown, um even like like HagiDunlop, who I was obsessed with
from Made in Chelsea and youknow all these different people,
and I was just like, oh mygoodness, like none of them
drink and they don't necessarilybang on about it, but when you
look into it, a huge amount ofthese really successful people
(31:52):
out there don't drink and I justthink there's no coincidence in
that is there.
You know, that's, that was.
That's always been a big part ofthe whole sober chapter concept
.
It's like, well, what's alcoholholding you back from really
achieving?
Like, what could you, whatcould you achieve if you removed
it for a chapter and just likewent all in on those consistent
(32:14):
baby steps towards your goalsand dreams, because it has such
a huge compound effect, because,so you know, like, say, a
complete productivity hack, likemore time, more energy, more
clarity, more courage to keepfacing your fears, and then
there's all the healing workthat happens as well, right, in
terms of the insecurities thatyou end up overcoming, and it's
just, it's kind of a bit of ano-brainer, I think yeah, I
(32:37):
think, yeah, yeah, definitely,yeah.
Speaker 2 (32:42):
I think I think I was really proud just lately of how
I'd be able to look deeper andtry and reflect and understand
situations from differentperspectives and just like yeah,
for example, if it was like, um, just not so much an argument
(33:04):
but just a response that Ididn't like or something
happened I didn't like, and justbeing able to, instead of
reacting, like diving deeper andtrying to find a different
emotional response, like, Ithink I've been able to do a lot
of like um, deep healing, Iguess, and um, that was
definitely needed and um, it'salways going to be an
(33:28):
ever-growing journey, but it'sgiven me that opportunity as
well.
So, um, that's been good because, in, rather than using
distractions, um, just beingable to face, face these things
face to face and to actuallydeal with them and to try and
grow from them and heal fromthem or learn from them, it's
(33:49):
been.
It's really good.
Um, but yeah, I like, I do,like I'm just literally looking
out the window now and like I'mlooking at mountain, like
Crowpatrick lakes, fields, snow,and my country is absolutely
beautiful and, yeah, I'm so.
The landscape is insane and Iappreciate our culture, and
(34:11):
alcohol is a huge part to dowith our culture and everything
else.
So so I'm really interested tosee on how this movement kind of
grows um and how we can stillkeep our traditions, like the
pub culture, you know, the tradmusic and everything else, the
banter chats um, with just lessalcohol like I'm really
(34:33):
interested goes yeah stillcommunity, isn't it?
Speaker 1 (34:36):
you know you can still go there and do it without
the boots, like, yeah, I thinkit takes a bit of time.
It does take a bit of time, butyou know you can.
You can definitely get therefor sure, especially when you're
with like the right people andeverything.
Oh yeah, taking the other likebeautiful things, like the
culture and all of that.
Funny, isn't it?
(34:57):
Because I did Galway races.
Galway was one of my first, wasone of my first things, alcohol
free that was.
That was intense because I gotthree months alcohol free at
that point and I remember beingin these pubs and there was just
like wild amount of likedancing.
But I actually loved it becauseI think when there's that much
character and culture you cankind of like have an amazing
(35:21):
time.
Anyway, if you're sat somewherereally sterile you'd be like,
oh, this is boring.
No, I loved it, I absolutelyloved it and I love that you've
come back on again and I'venoticed we've got quite a few
Irish listeners, so I'm surethey would have been intrigued
to hear how you found it all.
And I guess to anyone that islistening, like what would be a
(35:42):
bit of advice that comes to mindabout how to navigate kind of
the old, traditional kind ofways of doing things.
I guess when alcohol free.
Speaker 2 (35:53):
I think it starts by putting yourself out there.
Like I'm going to be goingthrough that journey
continuously myself, like tryingto go out more with my friends,
even if that means, like youknow, just being the non-drinker
there and just embracing it,and, yeah, just embracing it and
(36:13):
just taking the courage to stepout of that comfort zone.
I guess, and yeah, I guessthat's where I would definitely
say to start, but to not beisolating yourself just because
of a decision you've made that'sdifferent to others, and to
continue to find alternativeways to maybe, yeah, hang out
(36:37):
with your friends, whateverthat's going.
Hiking, I see, hiking it's likejust taken off a lot in ireland
, like, um, there's more meetupgroups, just like in perth, and,
yeah, exploring the hobbies orthe things that you've always
wanted to do but you've notwanted to do.
Like, um, yeah, there's lots ofthings like self-discovery I
(37:02):
actually I've read that littleebook that I did.
I have loads of this kind ofstuff in it that I'll probably
start sharing soon um, but, yeah, just about discovering what it
is that you want your life tolook like and putting yourself
out there bit by bit, makingthose first few steps I don't
know.
Speaker 1 (37:22):
Yeah, Thank you.
And yeah, it's just, it'scontinually, continuously facing
those fears and expanding yourcomfort zone and there's always
going to be that bit ofuncomfortableness and the
resistance, but you do literallyexpand it the more and more you
do it.
And you know, speaking frombeing two and a half years
(37:43):
alcohol free, now there isn'tany situation where I ever think
about drinking at all, and itdoesn't mean that I go to all
the same things anymore.
I'm probably more selective andI want to make sure that it's
things that light me up and Iprobably have in place.
But yeah, I'm able to doeverything and more that I want
to do without it.
So it definitely.
It definitely gets to the pointwhere it's just not even a
(38:07):
thing anymore yeah yeah, I'msuper grateful for that.
But well done my darling.
I was gonna cut you off.
What were you gonna say?
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:16):
I think it's really nice, um, the friends obviously
my closest friends like we wouldalways go out and enjoy a drink
together or whatever and adance, but, um, lately, like
it's been going for coffee andshopping together for other
loved ones or, uh, going, that'slike been one thing, even
though I'm not doing the fishing, I'm watching them do the
(38:38):
fishing, like I don't know, butlike just finding ways to
explore the same connectionoutside and, to be honest,
you'll actually get to know yourfriends a lot more, like
because quality time with themand yeah, yeah, I think that's
kind of, yeah, the nicest partabout it all, um, is getting to
(39:03):
know each other on a deeperlevel.
So, yeah, thank you for havingme.
Speaker 1 (39:09):
Come back home soon, missy, and live with me.
For anyone that hasn't heardhazel before, hazel actually was
living with me before she hadto go back to ireland, so I'm
hoping she comes back to thehouse soon.
Speaker 2 (39:23):
Yeah, I should be there.
My course starts on the 3rd offebruary, so let's see how it
all goes.
Speaker 1 (39:34):
Yeah, congrats on everything lovely.
Speak to you soon.
Thanks for sharing.
Bye.
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