February 21, 2025 • 48 mins
Bianca Smothers, an Embodiment Coach and talented musician, joins us for an eye-opening discussion on the Sober Chapters podcast. Her transformative journey from growing up in an alcoholic household to making the empowering decision to embrace sobriety is nothing short of inspiring. We explore the deep-seated impact alcohol had on her life and family dynamics and how she found clarity and spiritual connection through sobriety. Bianca's insights offer a powerful reminder of the personal growth and healing that come from facing life's challenges without the crutch of alcohol, leading to a more authentic and liberated self.
We navigate through the complexities of societal pressures, childhood intuitions, and the false confidence that alcohol often provides. Bianca shares personal stories of facing her insecurities head-on, emphasizing the profound growth that arises when confronting one's shadows without the numbing effects of alcohol. The conversation reveals the incredible freedom and clarity gained through sobriety, as well as the challenges and triumphs of maintaining a sober lifestyle, especially after experiencing personal loss. Through Bianca's journey, we highlight the significant shifts in energy and self-assurance that come with committing to sobriety as an act of self-love.
You can follow Bianca at bianxa.xii on instagram. She also hosts the "That Bitch Energy" podcast.
Thank you for being here and for being a part of The Sober Chapters Community.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober, curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
(01:03):
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of the Sober Chapters
podcast, and today I'm joined bythe gorgeous Bianca Smothers,
who is a coach, a musician, apodcast host and just an
absolute beautiful soul that I'mjust so grateful for and so so
happy that we connected when wedid during our embodiment
(01:25):
coaching certification last year, and I've since been on her
podcast.
We're both on a beautiful soberjourney and I just thought it
would be amazing to get her onand to share all of her
experiences and her wisdom withyou guys.
So I will hand you over toBianca to introduce herself and
to perhaps share about herjourney with sobriety and all
(01:45):
the things.
Hey, bianca.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Hey, didi, I'm so, so , so excited to be here with you
.
I will, I guess, introducemyself as no, I'm going to, for
sure, introduce myself as amusician, a leader, a embodiment
coach, a podcast host, aspiritual girly, a lover, a
(02:15):
daughter there's so many titlesthat I love to hold and friend,
and I just cat mom, mom, andthank you for having me.
So you hear some dogs and catsthat you're welcome, you're
welcome, my babies are here.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
But, um, thank you for having me, Didi, I'm so
excited my pleasure, lovely andum, yeah, I think it's just
gorgeous how we met and we'veconnected and we have so many
similar kind of views onsobriety.
We're both a lover of thatspiritual connection and how
it's enhanced.
That and I guess that's kind ofwhat I was hoping, would you
(02:57):
know, come through today, whichI know it will do absolutely.
But I guess if you just startwith, perhaps you know why you
chose to go down the road ofsobriety and how that unfolded
for you.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Absolutely.
So I'm going to let it land ofwhere I want to start this
journey.
The story goes back, you know.
Yeah, goes back.
I know.
You know it's a lifetime ofexplaining in a couple of
minutes, so let's try.
(03:31):
Yeah, so from the beginning, Iwas born into an alcoholic home.
My dad is.
It was an alcoholic.
Rest in peace.
He just recently passed.
It was an alcoholic.
Rest in peace.
He just recently passed.
(03:53):
I'm just going to ground inbecause I haven't talked about
it on a podcast yet.
I'm going to give that spacefor a second.
I had a beautiful conversationwith my therapist today, so it's
still on my mind, still on myheart and soul.
So it started from birth.
(04:15):
Alcohol was around from the getand it's funny because my mom
has told me stories of when Iwas young, how I was like I
never want to drink, and I thinkto myself when I hear that
story is my higher self, truestself, the, that bitch inside of
me, energy was like girl, wewant to be our best selves.
(04:38):
And that might not be your pathto get there, but now that I'm,
I think through it.
The alcohol was the path and Iknow that sounds a little like
oh, you need to drink to gethere.
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm saying because I did end uppicking up the drinks and did
(05:00):
over drink and did blackout anddid overdo it.
I realized what I don't want.
And seeing how it affected myfamily growing up, seeing how it
affected my mom, seeing how itaffects my family, my cousins,
my siblings, and it reminds mewhat I don't want.
(05:21):
And I think for everyonealcohol is going to affect us
differently.
For instance, my boyfriend, hecan drink and it's one drink and
he's normal, he's like totallyhimself, he never like loses
himself, he never gets to thepoint where it's like outrageous
(05:41):
and toxic and at least to me,and he feels the same way with
himself.
So it's kind of crazy to methat sobriety I mean alcohol is
so different for everyone.
But for me I cannot handle it.
For me I don't have the, Ididn't have the ability to stop.
(06:06):
It was like as soon as I startedthe day, the night would be
continuing, continuing to drinkto the point where I forgot and
I was sick the next day andunhealthy and my mental health
was so just dark the next day.
And I know I'm going down allthese pathways.
(06:27):
Now I'm like birth and now I'min my thirties, so I'm kind of
jumping around because it's sucha journey and I will say I've
been two years sober now and Ifeel more clear and more
grounded and more on the path ofjust feeling in tune with the
(06:55):
highest me, with the purest self, without going through seeing
my parents struggle and seeingthe toxic energy where you know
physical violence and mentalviolence and and then in turn,
me following their in theirfootsteps and me becoming the
physical, mental violencetowards myself and others.
(07:17):
Um, I wouldn't be on thisjourney to searching for what I
call the highest self, the, thatbitch energy, um, the purest,
truest form of self.
So in a way, I'm thankful foralcohol and and I honor that and
(07:37):
I let, I let, I let that go, asI know it's not for me.
So I hope that answered thatquestion of how I got here.
Um, and I know I kind of wentin a little bit of a spiral
there, but um, I'm just so happyto be sober yeah.
I love it so good.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I love that.
You know you just went with theflow, with whatever came up for
you, right, which is actuallysuch a great point to make,
because that's I believe that'swhat happens when you remove
alcohol.
Is you like you start to beable to go with the flow?
So much for so much more likeit?
You know it really helps us todrop into like our heart space,
(08:21):
to really drop into and trustour intuition, trust the
guidance, connect with ourhigher self and just, I guess,
let go of that control.
You know, like let go of thatcontrol and just completely
trust and surrender.
And I know that's what you'reall about and you know you can.
So see that how that you knowsobriety has helped you with
that and there was so manythings that you said in there.
(08:43):
Firstly, when you said about how, when you were young and you
said you didn't want to drinkalcohol, like something that
came up for me intuitively wassomething that I remember.
So I have a load of big sistersand they would go clubbing.
They were older than me and mymum used to take me in the car
with her and drop them off atthe nightclubs and I was just
(09:06):
such a happy, cute little girland I would say to my mum I
never want to go nightclubbing.
Mummy, like I never want to doany of that.
Like to me it looked dark and Ididn't want it and yet I went
on to become like the ultimateparty girl and clubber.
I went into the deep, darkdepths of all of that,
particularly more in my teensand my twenties.
(09:27):
Like by the time I got to mythirties, like I staggered off
the booze I think you know thisabout me anyway like for a for a
long time.
But when you said that, itbrought that up in me and it was
like wow, like that was who Itruly was.
That's what.
Like I didn't want alcohol.
But like what you just said,I'm also very grateful for the
journey that I've been on andyou know a lot of the darkness
(09:48):
and a lot of the chaos and allof that because it's just led me
on this like really gorgeouspath of depth since giving up as
well, of like understanding allof that and like seeing, like
how the ego played out, seeinghow all the fear-based patterns
played out, like how alcoholfueled all of that, and then you
know unraveling all of thatthrough sobriety and coming back
(10:09):
to who we truly are andconnecting with our higher self
again on such a deep level.
So, yeah, it was gorgeous, itwas perfect.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
So thank you, pianga oh, I love that that brought.
I love that you, yeah, um,connected that to a moment from
your, from your childhood, causeI feel like we, we have so much
wisdom as children and we getmolded and taught and, um, yeah,
(10:38):
really molded to believe thesethings are, that are norm, or
we're molded to think things arenormal.
But our wisdom, from even achild, you have that innate
wisdom.
You have that ability to kindof read the room and read the
(10:58):
energy so much differently thanwhen you go through life.
Not even it's subconscious,right, like we get molded.
Our thoughts get molded and Iguess what's the word I'm
looking for here, but I can'tfind it but we just get almost
like into a different path andwe're like, well, that is what
society deems as normal and goodand better and successful and
(11:22):
beautiful, and you can put somany words here.
And alcohol is how we connect,alcohol is how we relate to
others and how we have fun andhow we go to dinner and how we
socialize.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
And you know, we know , as kids you can literally just
run up to someone and be likeyou're my friend now and there
was no, no alcohol needed, andso I feel like sometimes we
forget yeah, again, as you'retalking, there's just so much
coming up for me around that,because I've been thinking a lot
(11:58):
lately about, you know, all themasks that I put on through
alcohol, you know, and andfueling that ego self, like I
say, and you know, I it'sbecoming clearer and clearer and
clearer to me about that andlike the insecurities that I was
masking and like this falseconfidence that alcohol gave me.
(12:19):
And I often talk about how,like when I was a little girl,
like I was really carefree, Iwas really confident, I was
really into kind of likeperforming and things like this.
But then I think somewherealong the lines, you know,
probably bullying hormones, afew other things, and then
grasping onto alcohol at areally, really young age because
, like you, it was prevalent inmy family and I think I started
(12:42):
having it around like 12, 13.
And I reckon it gave me thatsoothing of those insecurities I
was starting to have and then Ilatched onto it and then you
know that that then created alot of bravado, a lot of like um
, you know, false, yeah, falseconfidence, false layers, and
it's, it's.
I feel like I'm constantly goingthrough healing that at the
(13:04):
moment and things are cominginto my life and you know it's,
it's I feel like I'm constantlygoing through healing that at
the moment and things are cominginto my life and you know it's,
I still have like stuff to lookat, but like it's like when
you're alcohol free, like it'slike you have like a light like
shining on that, don't you likeit takes.
It's like you shine a light onall of your shadows, all of your
insecurities, and you are kindof forced to look at it all and
(13:27):
to heal it all and it's it's souncomfortable but it's also just
so freeing when you workthrough it and like coming back
and just yeah, I've just been onthis hold.
It's coming up for me becauseI've just I've been through a
lot of stuff recently and it'sjust made me realize like how
much alcohol was used.
I didn't realize I did it, butI was using it to mask
insecurities unknowingly.
(13:49):
So so much, so much and.
I'm just so grateful, you know,like what you said, that I kind
of did have the relationship Idid have with it, where it made
me feel so shifty the next dayand everything that I chose to
go to full sobriety, because Ithink if I hadn't had that
relationship and it hadn't beenthat bad, I probably would have
(14:09):
just carried on, you know, doingthe same old, same old.
And I often say it's like youkind of feel like you're asleep
in a bit of a trance with it all, don't you?
Just in that sort of you knowblinkers on, not really taking a
step back and looking, um, yeah, yeah, that's been my
experience.
I can see you nodding with it.
I can.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I feel like when you speak, it's like a mirror, like
I'm seeing me and you, and I'msure you can feel the same with
we, we, yeah, this human gig itfeels like, isn't it to find
that peace and that comfort?
And that's what we wereultimately searching for in the
(14:51):
clubs, in alcohol, in that cup,in that enter whatever it is for
you here.
It could be sex, it could bedrugs, it could be porn, sex, it
could be drugs, it could beporn.
We're all looking for thatpeace, that how to relieve this
(15:11):
pain and this insecurity, how toforget.
It's almost like that's what wewere searching for and it was
only a band-aid for a moment andthen it almost made it worse
the next day and the next day.
And actually I've recentlylearned I mean, I've heard this
before in the past, but itreally landed with me recently
that it takes like nine days orsomething like that for the
(15:34):
alcohol to fully get out of yoursystem.
Or was it six days, six?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
or nine, yeah, I think seven I heard, but yeah,
absolutely.
So you're basically justconstantly.
Even if you're just drinking atthe weekend, you're constantly
under the influence the wholeweek.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Particularly on like a cellular type level.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, so even if you're drinking one drink one
day a week, you're drinking.
It's taking your body so longto rejuvenate, recover, heal,
cleanse, let go of that alcohol,that toxic literal toxic
substance in your body.
And I feel like you know Iwasn't how could we, how could
(16:16):
we fully operate at our highestcapacity if we're not even
health, like our health istrying to come back to normal
and we're not allowing it torejuvenate all the way?
So I love that we're talkingabout sobriety, because I don't
know that many people around methat are sober, that are talking
(16:38):
to each other about it.
It's like, oh, you're sober,cool, cool, whatever, like,
whatever, Besides you, I feellike me and you, we go deep into
it, and so I appreciate that wecan really dive deep into what
it means for us.
And and, yeah, I just feel it'sso important to really be able
(17:00):
to see all the insecurities youhere, how can we get there if
we're not fully cleansed and andpure?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
and to me, being sober, is that so, um, wow yeah,
yeah, gorgeous Bianca, andthank you for bringing that up
again.
You know, no coincidence isright.
It's been coming up for me alot like I'm running a program
at the moment with somebeautiful souls and they're, all
you know, pretty spiritual andwe've been talking about all of
(17:46):
this stuff and, yeah, I thinkthat connection to source, like
for me, that connection to God,has just deepened.
Well, I actually found it sincesobriety, to be honest, um,
like I was spiritual before, butthat was a big part of my
journey.
Was that, like I knew I wasbeing guided to remove it for a
higher reason?
And you know I've gone on thiswhole journey and you know I
(18:07):
share that.
I'm not religious, but I havefound this connection to God and
it's a feeling more thananything else, and it's a
feeling of being in my heart,being in that love-based energy,
being in my flow, being likeliterally feeling connected to
that spirit.
Right, and that's just that'sthe bit that even even coffee
now disconnects me from thatlike I'm just so, so aware, and
(18:31):
particularly as a coach now aswell, I I noticed it when I
first started coaching a coupleof years ago, where if I drank
coffee before I spoke with myclients because I didn't quite
realize how intuitive coachingwas going to be and how much we
channel when we're doing that.
And so if I drank coffee, likeI would feel disconnected and
you know it would throw me offfrom that flow state, and so I
(18:54):
started removing it.
And it's like even that sozeand coffee and even even some
like foods and what have youthat we put in, you know,
particularly process, it's all adisconnection, isn't it?
From that, from that beautifulsource and and just numbs us.
And I think, like I, now thatI've experienced it in the way
that I have, like I want to stayin that state as much as I
(19:16):
possibly can and get you know,closer and closer to that all
the time and that ability to,because I do, you know, we all
get in our heads and we all getdisconnected and we all get, you
know, the ego comes in savagely, you know, all the time right
and it's sneaky.
But again, you know, being somuch more grounded by not having
(19:36):
all those extra substances anddistractions just makes it so
much easier to not fall into theego and not believe it and to
observe it and to laugh at it orcall it out or whatever that
might look like, and just bringourselves back to our highest
truth, essentially, and back toour hearts.
And you know, this is whatsobriety is about.
(19:57):
For me, it's not about giving upalcohol.
It's about so, so much morethat.
And I love having people likeyou on the podcast who I can
talk to about this stuff,because it's the biggest gift of
sobriety in my opinion.
And it goes so much deeperbecause it doesn't matter if
you're just a social drinker andyou, you know, don't feel that
you need to give up, like it'salcohol still having an impact
(20:19):
spiritually.
I absolutely know that to betrue.
Yeah, yeah.
So thank you for bringing allthat up?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Oh yeah, no, absolutely.
It's such a.
It's a strong form of self-love, isn't it?
It's so choosing yourself it'sto me that's the highest love is
choosing self.
And how can you, how can youshow up fully with, in
(20:47):
relationship for yourfriendships in the world,
spreading love, if you're noteven doing it for you?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
yeah, that would be tough for me.
Yeah, no, totally.
And I always say, like alcoholsort of brings in like the
darkness, like it's a gatewayfor darkness, like you know it's
.
You know, when you look at thefact that you know we're either
living through the lens of loveor the lens of fear, like, no
matter what emotion you, youchunk it down, it always comes
(21:17):
down to either love or fear.
Right, and for me, alcohol andhangovers fueled the fear and
life is hard enough.
Right, life is hard enough.
So why would we add that extralayer in?
And I think it's.
It goes back to that wholeshort-term pain, long-term gain
thing, doesn't it?
Because I think people don'trealize a lot of people don't
(21:39):
give up alcohol.
I think because they don'trealize, like, the beauty and
the magic of how good itactually gets in the end.
Because actually, let's behonest, like it's not like you
go straight into this, like we.
You've done two years, I'vedone two and a half years.
You know there is, there isdefinitely harder times.
Um, I'd love to hear about thatfrom you actually.
And like how you found it from,like you know the different
(22:03):
stages, like whether there was atime where you found it a
little bit more difficult, but Ifeel like we've both gone
through into this place nowwhere it's just we can only see
like the magnificence of it.
Was there any points on yourjourney where it was more
challenging, when you gave up,like how did that look?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
thank you, um, for asking.
So I think there are a fewtimes I can think of that were
tough.
Um, mainly most of them were inthe beginning.
Like the start, it was awkward.
I wanted to go out with friendsExcuse me, sorry, I'm having a
(22:43):
sparkling water and it is, it isbubbling in there, um, um, see,
and that's like the see.
That was a divine talking,because my sparkling water has
been the saving grace of anyouting.
Yeah, so in the beginning Iwanted to go out with friends
(23:04):
and it felt really awkward tonot order a drink.
And I noticed when my energywasn't fully, because when I
first went sober I wasn't like Iwas all in, but subconsciously
there was still like a questionmark, there's still like a is
this really going to last?
Can I really do this?
Is this really like?
(23:25):
Is this real?
That was me being a skeptic,truly of my highest self, and
myself like myself.
I can't even think of the wordcommitment, like committing to
myself.
I almost didn't believe I coulddo it.
(23:45):
So the energy, the people feltthat.
So they'd be like come on, justhave a drink.
Like, why, why are you even youknow you want to, and I just
like no, no, like kindly, butafter maybe a month or two and I
know that sounds quick, butthat felt like a long time to me
(24:05):
I was like, no, like this isthe end.
I'm not, this isn't even aquestion Like I'm sober for the
long haul.
And, um, because this is, thisis what I want, this is my
spiritual path, this is who I amnow and that's where I want to
go.
It's important to me.
And people approached medifferent.
(24:28):
No one started, no one wasasking me oh, you want one, come
on, just take it.
No one was even offering andquestioning my sobriety.
People just left me alone andwere like, oh, she wants a water
, she'll take a swatting waterIf they order for me, if usually
I'm ordering for me.
But you know, some of myfriends love to order.
They're like, well, she's goingto have this, she's going to
(24:49):
have that and um, so the energyshift completely transformed
when I was sure, and I feel likethat's magical and that's
energy speaks loud.
And another hard moment I canthink of is after my dad passed.
(25:10):
I was like thinking to myself,as he was an alcoholic, oh, my
dad would.
How I want to connect to my dadis to drink what he would, and
he loved Bud Light and he workedfor Budweiser.
Little back story on my dad he,you know, he always had stacks
(25:33):
I mean anyway, I don't need toget into details Stacks of like
packs of beer, like 24 packs,and so he had them at his house.
So after we left the hospital,um, I got home and I'm staring
at it like, well, that's what hedrank.
So I want to feel connected tohim.
(25:54):
So maybe I should just have asip and it'll be fine.
Like, not a big, no, big deal.
I'm very proud of myself.
I did not have a sip because Ireally took a moment, took a
breath, thought about it,allowed myself my true self to
speak to me and I said no, and Ithink I even opened it and then
(26:17):
I just handed it over tosomebody else and I was like, no
, I'm good.
Um, so to me it sounds simpleto hand it over, but it was hard
.
It was a hard moment, it was adark moment, it was it's.
I'm still in dark night of thesoul and I deal with it
differently.
It comes in waves, yeah, andthere are moments I do think
(26:39):
about drinking in this grief,yeah, and how I stay sober, I
think, is always being presentwith myself, letting me be there
for me, rather than thoughtscontrolling me.
And the thoughts are what comeup that even think about the
(27:03):
alcohol.
It's not even like my trueessence.
It's.
It's a thought, it's a pasttrauma, it's a how can I connect
?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
How can I connect?
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah, oh, my gosh Ego .
The ego loves to come to medaily.
Yeah, and we love the egobecause we get to tell the ego
no, and that's power, that's ourpower.
Yeah, so I would love to hearyour hard moments and how you
(27:34):
get out of those thoughts andthe ego trying to tell you like
it's time to drink, girl.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Just get a drink in, oh, my goodness, the ego, the
ego, the thoughts, and the egotrying to tell you like it's
time to drink.
Girl, just get a drink in theego, the ego, the ego, the ego.
Well, again, thank you forsharing all of that.
And, um, you know, and, andobviously huge love and you know
, so sorry for your loss andyou've just I've just watched
you use all of your beautifultools to go through everything
and you know, yeah, yeah, justmust have been so hard and must
(28:04):
be so hard, but super proud ofeverything that you're doing and
thank you for sharing, bianca.
Yeah, and it's so strangebecause when you just spoke,
then and I'm just going to sayit because it came to me and I
trust what comes to me and youwhen we're having these
conversations, and even thoughmy father is very much alive,
(28:24):
but I have like that same kindof like, we connected over
alcohol.
He's very like strong with hisdrink, is champagne, right, and
I have already had thesethoughts come to me about his
funeral, right, which mightsound bizarre and what have you,
but it's true, because that'show deeply ingrained it is right
, like you know, he, weconnected over that.
We massively have alwaysconnected over alcohol, like my
(28:46):
ego is actually my dad's, likethat's essentially what I've
learned, you know, like I tookon the role of like the youngest
daughter, almost like a son,and we connected over booze and
I had all this bravado and henever really.
And we connected over booze andI had all this bravado and he
never really.
I don't think he's ever reallyknown who I truly am right,
because that's kind of like therelationship that we've had.
Um, so it's been a wholejourney, with me now being sober
(29:08):
and him not reallyunderstanding it and finding new
ways to connect and having tohave difficult conversations
with him from the heart aroundthat.
But getting to my point, whenyou shared that about wanting to
pick up the drink, it's kind oflike I've already thought to
myself would I have a toast ofchampagne at his funeral?
Because that's that is my dad,that is literally my dad and I
know my sisters will be doingthat.
(29:28):
But I feel so I felt so into howyou just explained, how you
felt, and I think I will staycompletely true to me.
You know, I can feel that and Ithink it would be a hard moment
, but is it's coming back towhat you truly want and what you
truly align with and thesechoices that you're making and
the path that you're on.
And, yeah, the truth, the truthand not the ego, because that
(29:49):
that was a lot of ego, right.
And so, yes, I get the ego allthe time it comes in strong, the
false self, the fear, thedarkness, like all of the things
.
And I will say, actually it'snot so much around alcohol for
me now, I would say for me, it'sso, it will, it will kind of
(30:14):
like I call it new level, newdevil.
So whenever I'm doing somethingbigger with sober chapters, like
taking on a new project, or youknow, on the journey of sober
chapters, like alcohol was kindof like.
You know, I knew that I didn'twant alcohol, I was starting to
do everything that I'm doingwith sober chapters, but when I
was expanding my comfort zone,you know, doing all the things
(30:34):
that the ego doesn't like, youknow, staying getting out of my
patterns, all of that, it wouldtry and pull me back and like
that voice of fear and you know,and it would.
When I'm in my head, I call itrather than my heart, when I'm
in my ego more like it will comein and it will try and sabotage
and tell me that you know, Idon't really want to be growing
sober chapters in the way that Iam and, like you know, using
(30:54):
all these like sneaky ways toget to me, which is just not the
truth, because sober chaptersis absolutely my purpose in this
lifetime and I know that morethan anything.
Right, but it's that's how itwill come in and the ego is
actually coming in.
So I'm just going to say it.
Like I have this like amazingum guy that's come into my life
and we're just very much friends.
(31:15):
At the moment I can't believeI'm even saying this because
everyone knows I've been singlefor like years but we just have
like a beautiful friendship and,um, you know who knows where
that is going at this stage.
But I will say that like wehave both done a lot of work and
we both understand the ego andwhat's coming up for me, because
I haven't had like this closeof a connection with a guy in so
long.
(31:35):
Like a lot of insecurities arecoming up for me.
So those old insecurities thatI talked about, that I used to
hide when I was drinking,they're surfacing now.
You know, for example, I hadone about like the fact that I
use fake tan, like literallyyesterday, and like telling him
that I use fake tan because he'scoming to visit in Australia,
and I'm like this is likeridiculous, right, but it just
(31:57):
brought up for me like how muchI used to feel like that then
drink on a night out and notworry about it, and so like all
this stuff is coming up and it'sjust for me.
I just now see it as like sointeresting and such growth and
I'm so aware of it because it'slike we've we're you know I'm
not drinking so I can see what'shappening and it's using all
(32:17):
these other different ways.
Um, but yeah, I'm just workingthrough all's happening and it's
using all these other differentways.
Um, but yeah, I'm just workingthrough all of it and it's all
growth and expansion and youknow, just peeling back all
those layers and gettingconfident, just coming back to
me and who I am, and owning,owning all those insecurities as
well, like that takes the poweraway from the ego, just owning
(32:37):
it and, you know, beingauthentic, and I've never been
able to do that before,particularly with men.
So, yeah, that was a wholetangent that I didn't expect to
come out, but I don't know.
I hope that kind of lands foranyone listening that can relate
, and for you too yes, oh, itdid land.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I want to go back to some of the stuff you said
before and then come to therelationship things, the ego and
the dad.
I think a lot of people noteveryone, I will never speak for
everyone but I think it's verycommon when you said your ego
comes from your dad, Iimmediately was like yes, yes,
yes, yes.
I can relate, and I've heardother people talk about wanting
(33:20):
dad's approval, not just women,but men especially, and women.
We all want approval of ourparents, no matter male, female,
dad, mom.
That approval ends up kind ofshaping our ego Like oh well, if
we do this, we know dad willlike it.
If we do this, we know mom willthink we're successful or
(33:41):
beautiful or good enough orbrave enough or or badass enough
and enter whatever.
It is here that your parentskind of maybe have sat around
you they could have even nothave said it directly to you,
but they said it to their friend.
They're like, oh, that girl,she looked like this and she's
annoying and like you.
That stuck with you forever.
Or your dad said, oh, I hatewhen someone does this and so
(34:05):
you never did that thing.
So I love that you connectedthe ego to dad, because my ego a
hundred percent comes from bothparents and mainly from my dad.
Um, thank you for naming thatbecause it landed for me and,
like now, I can really dive intothat a little bit more in my
(34:29):
own time or even on here.
And I also want to connect howthe ego to dad can get into your
future relationships, romanticrelationships, friendships, how
you even look at men in general,so the fact that you are
breaking down the barriers andit's hard for you.
Oh, I also want to talk aboutthe funeral and you said it's
(34:52):
going to be really hard and howthat is your dad.
The alcohol, the drink is your.
You said champagne or wine.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yes, Is what your dad drinks.
Champagne.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
That champagne is your dad and and I, I want to
name that because I went throughthis and what I noticed is I'm
my dad in a sense, and I'mchoosing to break that pattern.
Yes, and I'm choosing to breakthat pattern, yes, and I'm
choosing to say no, and thatwhen you said that is my dad, I
thought the same, I know I, Icould cry that one, that one
(35:28):
landed for me and because yousaid it, it brought me clarity
of.
For me, this is what my futureis, the success of my future,
and anyone, if I happen to havekids or not, I don't think I
will, but just ending thepattern there and choosing light
(35:51):
, choosing love, self-love inthat moment, and then back to
the relationships it connects tohow we look at men and how we
receive men in our lives andallow them in or put walls up,
or so.
I just want to say I'm so happyfor you that you're able to
welcome in the love and I hope Ican go off on another tangent
(36:14):
with my own love journey is I,my man, eric, my boyfriend is
who showed me the mirror of myalcohol being an issue of
alcohol being very, very toxicto everyone around me and myself
(36:35):
when I'm drinking and the daysafter, and myself when I'm
drinking and the days after.
And if I didn't allow the loveand the, the self, or not the
self-criticism, but the, thecriticism for growth, not like
the constructive criticism,that's the word.
If I didn't allow that in, youknow, we would have broke up and
(36:58):
I would have just moved on andkept drinking and found someone
who accepted the drinking andand.
But my highest self was likegirl, you know he's, he's
showing you, he's mirroring toyou what you don't want, or else
, why is it being brought up andI don't put the full?
I don't give him the full likeit's not because of him, I'm
(37:21):
sober.
It was many things leading upto that moment that I was like I
want to stop drinking.
Other friends stopping todrinking.
One of his friends was soberfor 10 years or something like
that, and I asked him.
I said why don't you drink?
Like I was like I didn'tbelieve anyone didn't drink when
I asked his friend thisquestion Um, so it was many
(37:45):
things leading up to that.
That was just the icing on thecake.
That was like this is it?
You want to be your best self?
This is not her.
She will not be showing up hungover the next day, she will not
be drinking at every outing.
She will not because that isnot the best version of me.
(38:10):
And so, just accepting thatlove and that mirroring in our
lives, I'm just so proud of youfor allowing someone who also is
just showing you that love andshowing you that sober
relationships are out there.
They are accessible and they areso nourishing.
And I mean, my boyfriend drinks, but once in a year or once in
(38:36):
six or seven months, and I justwant to say, like that it's,
it's magic in between thosetimes and, um, I just so happy
for you at the same time tobring that relationship into
your life.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Well, I mean I'm it's .
That's the thing, Like I didn'texpect to talk about it,
because at the moment it's likevery much this beautiful
friendship, right, you knowwhatever it is, it's a gift,
like it's a gift, like it'sdefinitely a gift, and you know
he lives overseas.
So we've been kind of goingthrough.
I can't believe it's so funnywe're going out and talking
(39:11):
about this, but it's.
It's been incredible because,like the mirror thing is real,
like the mirror thing is realand you know we're both on this
like huge growth journey andlike he doesn't drink either,
like the way we've met has beenlike crazy.
Like everyone knows that I havelike been on this huge
spiritual journey that followsme and like I've had all this
guidance to be ever since mysober chapter.
(39:33):
I'd had all this guidance to goto LA and like I never really
knew why, like what that was,and you know I have.
I did meet him in LA and hedoesn't drink either.
And yeah, we've been, like youknow, just learning so much from
each other and you know I havelike obviously, like thoughts
about where it could go, butlike at the moment, it's just so
fascinating like the way thatit is bringing up all of this
(39:56):
stuff from my past and it linksin with the dad stuff, because
so my father, like you know,there was a lot of conditioning,
not just around alcohol butaround appearance and about
women's appearances and so likethat's where, that's that's how
I was shaped and when you weretalking, it's like it was down
to I was taught.
I guess I feel like a lot of us,when we're young, are taught
(40:18):
that love's conditional.
You know that's what it comesdown to, isn't it?
We all have fear around lovebeing conditional and actually
true love, pure love, love,energy, it's unconditional and
it's you know.
That's the process that I'mgoing through at the moment.
I believe to be, you know, whenyou're coming back home to who
you truly are and, like you know, removing all those barriers to
(40:40):
like unconditional love because, like you just didn't know it,
like when you were, when youwere young, and I think, um,
it's just this whole journey andit sounds like you know, with
what you, with your partner,that's come into your life.
You know, you obviously had thisintention that alcohol.
You're obviously becoming awarethat alcohol wasn't serving you
and then you know it's thisbeautiful gift from God really
(41:00):
that's come into your life toshow you and help you get to the
highest version of you, andthat's what a truly divine
relationship is all about, isn'tit?
And that's what I've wanted,that's why I've been single for
eight years and that's what I'vebeen waiting for.
And you know, I have mythoughts around what I'm going
through right now and I'm sure Ican elaborate more at some
point, but I do believe thatit's a bit of a gift from God
(41:26):
literally yeah, yeah, to reallyhelp me.
You know I've already done a lotof the groundwork, put the
intentions in, been on thisjourney for a long time and I
feel like this is the next levelof my evolution, with all of
that you know, and to justreally own my authenticity, own
these insecurities and, you know, stand in my truth, you know,
(41:48):
potentially for the first timeever with a male.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
So it's, yeah, fascinating, wow, thanks to our
dads for the lessons, and we getto take and leave what we want.
And they got to show us Even ifyou know I have so many stories
I could say, but even if someare bad and some are good, we
still get to decide from here asadults what we want, and they
(42:23):
helped us figure that out in,and I think that's just so
beautiful that you get to, um,see that right now and go
through that now and, um, Ithink you know all relationships
are teachers, aren't they?
They're such spiritualpractices.
I mean friendships, reallyromantic relationships, child
(42:45):
and father and in mother,relationships and sibling
relationships.
I don't know if you have anysiblings, I don't think.
Did you have a brother?
Yes, it's no.
Sisters, yeah, yeah sisters.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
You said that that's right and you're yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
I'm the youngest as well, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think there's somethingabout it.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Like the youngest and the black sheep end up going on
these journeys.
I see it all the time, yeah,and you know, I mean, depending
it's probably a big rabbit holefor another time that we could
go down.
But you know, there's the wholesoul contract thing right where
, like, we come in to learnlessons.
Essentially, life is, life isall about lessons.
And you know, we even chooseour parents, like you know,
(43:27):
whatever your beliefs are.
But you know I'm, I'm believingit all the more and more and
more that things are evolvinglike absolutely, um, you know
it's, it's, it's all a massivelesson.
Our soul just wants growth.
You know, our soul just wantsgrowth.
And I think, again, that linksin really nicely with what I say
about how, like you know,people are guided to remove
(43:48):
alcohol for a higher reason,because, like, our soul is
craving that growth andevolution.
And, you know, alcohol doeskeep us much more stuck in those
blinkers, in that comfort zone,in that day-to-day fueled by
the ego, trapped by the ego,like all of those things.
So it's all linked, which isbeautiful.
I love that we've just gone onall these like little tangents.
(44:09):
I think we need to do moreepisodes, definitely um.
I would love, just conscious,because, putting it out there
and with my time organization,I've got my training, haven't I?
In like nine minutes.
So we're gonna have to wrap itup and do a part two.
I reckon Bianca at some point,um, that sounds gorgeous.
I'd love it biggest thing ever,like.
(44:30):
I've loved your openness, I'veloved your wisdom, I've loved
the way that you just followyour intuition when you're
talking, because that allows meto and I just it's such a
gorgeous way to run these things, um, but the real thing that
hit home then was like yousaying how you know, you know,
really, you are your dad andyou're ending the cycle now and
you chose to end the cycle nowand break that, you know, break
(44:50):
that pattern, and that reallyreally landed for me and so
thank you thank you for that.
Is there anything?
On your heart that you want toshare for the end of the episode
as well.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I just want to say how grateful I am for you and
for this moment.
It was divine a divineconnection, a divine
conversation.
The timing was perfect and Ijust I'm so glad to get to
(45:26):
connect with you and I'm so.
The fact that we connected inour embodiment course to now is
just so magical, and it's like Iwas meant to join for so many
reasons and you are one of thosereasons.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Thank you, beautiful.
I'm so grateful for you and youknow, to all of you gorgeous
listeners like I really justcan't stress enough how, how
enlightening sobriety is.
And if it is a little bit, youknow, messy in the middle for
you, or clunky, or you're in theearly stages, the middle stages
, whatever that looks like, justknow that your higher self
(45:57):
brought you to this and to staytrue to that version of you and
just to keep going.
And you know the, the messiness, the darkness, it's all
temporary, um, but you will justget so much growth and strength
from going through thatdarkness and there's always
light on the other side, alwayslight on the other side.
So thank you, bianca.
(46:18):
And where can people find youas well?
Speaker 2 (46:22):
yes, you can find me on instagram, tiktok, youtube,
and my instagram is speltb-i-a-n-x-a dot x-i-i, and on
that instagram you can also findmy podcast instagram, which is
at that bitch energy, just speltlike that that bitch energy.
(46:44):
And then TikTok is this you canfind all my social media from
my Instagram, so I'll just kindof throw that there.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Because it's linked.
Definitely give her a follow.
She's amazing.
She is just, yeah, the epitomeof embodiment of everything
divine feminine.
I love you and we will chatagain soon, gorgeous thanks for
letting me kiki with you.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Didi, I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Thank you darling, thank you for listening to
today's episode of the SoberChapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so, if you'refeeling called, I would love you
(47:38):
to leave a review from whateverplatform it is that you're
listening on, and if you send mea screenshot of that review to
dd at SoberChapterscom, I willput you into the mix of winning
a free one-on-one coachingsession with me.
If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
follow along on Instagram it'sSober underscore Chapters.
(48:02):
To follow along on Instagram,it's sober underscore chapters.
You'll find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching,
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
(48:23):
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober, curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
(01:03):
Hello and welcome to anotherepisode of the Sober Chapters
podcast, and today I'm joined bythe gorgeous Bianca Smothers,
who is a coach, a musician, apodcast host and just an
absolute beautiful soul that I'mjust so grateful for and so so
happy that we connected when wedid during our embodiment
(01:25):
coaching certification last year, and I've since been on her
podcast.
We're both on a beautiful soberjourney and I just thought it
would be amazing to get her onand to share all of her
experiences and her wisdom withyou guys.
So I will hand you over toBianca to introduce herself and
to perhaps share about herjourney with sobriety and all
(01:45):
the things.
Hey, bianca.
Speaker 2 (01:48):
Hey, didi, I'm so, so , so excited to be here with you
.
I will, I guess, introducemyself as no, I'm going to, for
sure, introduce myself as amusician, a leader, a embodiment
coach, a podcast host, aspiritual girly, a lover, a
(02:15):
daughter there's so many titlesthat I love to hold and friend,
and I just cat mom, mom, andthank you for having me.
So you hear some dogs and catsthat you're welcome, you're
welcome, my babies are here.
Speaker 1 (02:35):
But, um, thank you for having me, Didi, I'm so
excited my pleasure, lovely andum, yeah, I think it's just
gorgeous how we met and we'veconnected and we have so many
similar kind of views onsobriety.
We're both a lover of thatspiritual connection and how
it's enhanced.
That and I guess that's kind ofwhat I was hoping, would you
(02:57):
know, come through today, whichI know it will do absolutely.
But I guess if you just startwith, perhaps you know why you
chose to go down the road ofsobriety and how that unfolded
for you.
Speaker 2 (03:10):
Absolutely.
So I'm going to let it land ofwhere I want to start this
journey.
The story goes back, you know.
Yeah, goes back.
I know.
You know it's a lifetime ofexplaining in a couple of
minutes, so let's try.
(03:31):
Yeah, so from the beginning, Iwas born into an alcoholic home.
My dad is.
It was an alcoholic.
Rest in peace.
He just recently passed.
It was an alcoholic.
Rest in peace.
He just recently passed.
(03:53):
I'm just going to ground inbecause I haven't talked about
it on a podcast yet.
I'm going to give that spacefor a second.
I had a beautiful conversationwith my therapist today, so it's
still on my mind, still on myheart and soul.
So it started from birth.
(04:15):
Alcohol was around from the getand it's funny because my mom
has told me stories of when Iwas young, how I was like I
never want to drink, and I thinkto myself when I hear that
story is my higher self, truestself, the, that bitch inside of
me, energy was like girl, wewant to be our best selves.
(04:38):
And that might not be your pathto get there, but now that I'm,
I think through it.
The alcohol was the path and Iknow that sounds a little like
oh, you need to drink to gethere.
No, I'm not saying that.
I'm saying because I did end uppicking up the drinks and did
(05:00):
over drink and did blackout anddid overdo it.
I realized what I don't want.
And seeing how it affected myfamily growing up, seeing how it
affected my mom, seeing how itaffects my family, my cousins,
my siblings, and it reminds mewhat I don't want.
(05:21):
And I think for everyonealcohol is going to affect us
differently.
For instance, my boyfriend, hecan drink and it's one drink and
he's normal, he's like totallyhimself, he never like loses
himself, he never gets to thepoint where it's like outrageous
(05:41):
and toxic and at least to me,and he feels the same way with
himself.
So it's kind of crazy to methat sobriety I mean alcohol is
so different for everyone.
But for me I cannot handle it.
For me I don't have the, Ididn't have the ability to stop.
(06:06):
It was like as soon as I startedthe day, the night would be
continuing, continuing to drinkto the point where I forgot and
I was sick the next day andunhealthy and my mental health
was so just dark the next day.
And I know I'm going down allthese pathways.
(06:27):
Now I'm like birth and now I'min my thirties, so I'm kind of
jumping around because it's sucha journey and I will say I've
been two years sober now and Ifeel more clear and more
grounded and more on the path ofjust feeling in tune with the
(06:55):
highest me, with the purest self, without going through seeing
my parents struggle and seeingthe toxic energy where you know
physical violence and mentalviolence and and then in turn,
me following their in theirfootsteps and me becoming the
physical, mental violencetowards myself and others.
(07:17):
Um, I wouldn't be on thisjourney to searching for what I
call the highest self, the, thatbitch energy, um, the purest,
truest form of self.
So in a way, I'm thankful foralcohol and and I honor that and
(07:37):
I let, I let, I let that go, asI know it's not for me.
So I hope that answered thatquestion of how I got here.
Um, and I know I kind of wentin a little bit of a spiral
there, but um, I'm just so happyto be sober yeah.
I love it so good.
Speaker 1 (07:59):
I love that.
You know you just went with theflow, with whatever came up for
you, right, which is actuallysuch a great point to make,
because that's I believe that'swhat happens when you remove
alcohol.
Is you like you start to beable to go with the flow?
So much for so much more likeit?
You know it really helps us todrop into like our heart space,
(08:21):
to really drop into and trustour intuition, trust the
guidance, connect with ourhigher self and just, I guess,
let go of that control.
You know, like let go of thatcontrol and just completely
trust and surrender.
And I know that's what you'reall about and you know you can.
So see that how that you knowsobriety has helped you with
that and there was so manythings that you said in there.
(08:43):
Firstly, when you said about how, when you were young and you
said you didn't want to drinkalcohol, like something that
came up for me intuitively wassomething that I remember.
So I have a load of big sistersand they would go clubbing.
They were older than me and mymum used to take me in the car
with her and drop them off atthe nightclubs and I was just
(09:06):
such a happy, cute little girland I would say to my mum I
never want to go nightclubbing.
Mummy, like I never want to doany of that.
Like to me it looked dark and Ididn't want it and yet I went
on to become like the ultimateparty girl and clubber.
I went into the deep, darkdepths of all of that,
particularly more in my teensand my twenties.
(09:27):
Like by the time I got to mythirties, like I staggered off
the booze I think you know thisabout me anyway like for a for a
long time.
But when you said that, itbrought that up in me and it was
like wow, like that was who Itruly was.
That's what.
Like I didn't want alcohol.
But like what you just said,I'm also very grateful for the
journey that I've been on andyou know a lot of the darkness
(09:48):
and a lot of the chaos and allof that because it's just led me
on this like really gorgeouspath of depth since giving up as
well, of like understanding allof that and like seeing, like
how the ego played out, seeinghow all the fear-based patterns
played out, like how alcoholfueled all of that, and then you
know unraveling all of thatthrough sobriety and coming back
(10:09):
to who we truly are andconnecting with our higher self
again on such a deep level.
So, yeah, it was gorgeous, itwas perfect.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
So thank you, pianga oh, I love that that brought.
I love that you, yeah, um,connected that to a moment from
your, from your childhood, causeI feel like we, we have so much
wisdom as children and we getmolded and taught and, um, yeah,
(10:38):
really molded to believe thesethings are, that are norm, or
we're molded to think things arenormal.
But our wisdom, from even achild, you have that innate
wisdom.
You have that ability to kindof read the room and read the
(10:58):
energy so much differently thanwhen you go through life.
Not even it's subconscious,right, like we get molded.
Our thoughts get molded and Iguess what's the word I'm
looking for here, but I can'tfind it but we just get almost
like into a different path andwe're like, well, that is what
society deems as normal and goodand better and successful and
(11:22):
beautiful, and you can put somany words here.
And alcohol is how we connect,alcohol is how we relate to
others and how we have fun andhow we go to dinner and how we
socialize.
Speaker 1 (11:38):
And you know, we know , as kids you can literally just
run up to someone and be likeyou're my friend now and there
was no, no alcohol needed, andso I feel like sometimes we
forget yeah, again, as you'retalking, there's just so much
coming up for me around that,because I've been thinking a lot
(11:58):
lately about, you know, all themasks that I put on through
alcohol, you know, and andfueling that ego self, like I
say, and you know, I it'sbecoming clearer and clearer and
clearer to me about that andlike the insecurities that I was
masking and like this falseconfidence that alcohol gave me.
(12:19):
And I often talk about how,like when I was a little girl,
like I was really carefree, Iwas really confident, I was
really into kind of likeperforming and things like this.
But then I think somewherealong the lines, you know,
probably bullying hormones, afew other things, and then
grasping onto alcohol at areally, really young age because
, like you, it was prevalent inmy family and I think I started
(12:42):
having it around like 12, 13.
And I reckon it gave me thatsoothing of those insecurities I
was starting to have and then Ilatched onto it and then you
know that that then created alot of bravado, a lot of like um
, you know, false, yeah, falseconfidence, false layers, and
it's, it's.
I feel like I'm constantly goingthrough healing that at the
(13:04):
moment and things are cominginto my life and you know it's,
it's I feel like I'm constantlygoing through healing that at
the moment and things are cominginto my life and you know it's,
I still have like stuff to lookat, but like it's like when
you're alcohol free, like it'slike you have like a light like
shining on that, don't you likeit takes.
It's like you shine a light onall of your shadows, all of your
insecurities, and you are kindof forced to look at it all and
(13:27):
to heal it all and it's it's souncomfortable but it's also just
so freeing when you workthrough it and like coming back
and just yeah, I've just been onthis hold.
It's coming up for me becauseI've just I've been through a
lot of stuff recently and it'sjust made me realize like how
much alcohol was used.
I didn't realize I did it, butI was using it to mask
insecurities unknowingly.
(13:49):
So so much, so much and.
I'm just so grateful, you know,like what you said, that I kind
of did have the relationship Idid have with it, where it made
me feel so shifty the next dayand everything that I chose to
go to full sobriety, because Ithink if I hadn't had that
relationship and it hadn't beenthat bad, I probably would have
(14:09):
just carried on, you know, doingthe same old, same old.
And I often say it's like youkind of feel like you're asleep
in a bit of a trance with it all, don't you?
Just in that sort of you knowblinkers on, not really taking a
step back and looking, um, yeah, yeah, that's been my
experience.
I can see you nodding with it.
I can.
Speaker 2 (14:30):
I feel like when you speak, it's like a mirror, like
I'm seeing me and you, and I'msure you can feel the same with
we, we, yeah, this human gig itfeels like, isn't it to find
that peace and that comfort?
And that's what we wereultimately searching for in the
(14:51):
clubs, in alcohol, in that cup,in that enter whatever it is for
you here.
It could be sex, it could bedrugs, it could be porn, sex, it
could be drugs, it could beporn.
We're all looking for thatpeace, that how to relieve this
(15:11):
pain and this insecurity, how toforget.
It's almost like that's what wewere searching for and it was
only a band-aid for a moment andthen it almost made it worse
the next day and the next day.
And actually I've recentlylearned I mean, I've heard this
before in the past, but itreally landed with me recently
that it takes like nine days orsomething like that for the
(15:34):
alcohol to fully get out of yoursystem.
Or was it six days, six?
Speaker 1 (15:37):
or nine, yeah, I think seven I heard, but yeah,
absolutely.
So you're basically justconstantly.
Even if you're just drinking atthe weekend, you're constantly
under the influence the wholeweek.
Speaker 2 (15:49):
Particularly on like a cellular type level.
Speaker 1 (15:51):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:53):
Yeah, so even if you're drinking one drink one
day a week, you're drinking.
It's taking your body so longto rejuvenate, recover, heal,
cleanse, let go of that alcohol,that toxic literal toxic
substance in your body.
And I feel like you know Iwasn't how could we, how could
(16:16):
we fully operate at our highestcapacity if we're not even
health, like our health istrying to come back to normal
and we're not allowing it torejuvenate all the way?
So I love that we're talkingabout sobriety, because I don't
know that many people around methat are sober, that are talking
(16:38):
to each other about it.
It's like, oh, you're sober,cool, cool, whatever, like,
whatever, Besides you, I feellike me and you, we go deep into
it, and so I appreciate that wecan really dive deep into what
it means for us.
And and, yeah, I just feel it'sso important to really be able
(17:00):
to see all the insecurities youhere, how can we get there if
we're not fully cleansed and andpure?
Speaker 1 (17:25):
and to me, being sober, is that so, um, wow yeah,
yeah, gorgeous Bianca, andthank you for bringing that up
again.
You know, no coincidence isright.
It's been coming up for me alot like I'm running a program
at the moment with somebeautiful souls and they're, all
you know, pretty spiritual andwe've been talking about all of
(17:46):
this stuff and, yeah, I thinkthat connection to source, like
for me, that connection to God,has just deepened.
Well, I actually found it sincesobriety, to be honest, um,
like I was spiritual before, butthat was a big part of my
journey.
Was that, like I knew I wasbeing guided to remove it for a
higher reason?
And you know I've gone on thiswhole journey and you know I
(18:07):
share that.
I'm not religious, but I havefound this connection to God and
it's a feeling more thananything else, and it's a
feeling of being in my heart,being in that love-based energy,
being in my flow, being likeliterally feeling connected to
that spirit.
Right, and that's just that'sthe bit that even even coffee
now disconnects me from thatlike I'm just so, so aware, and
(18:31):
particularly as a coach now aswell, I I noticed it when I
first started coaching a coupleof years ago, where if I drank
coffee before I spoke with myclients because I didn't quite
realize how intuitive coachingwas going to be and how much we
channel when we're doing that.
And so if I drank coffee, likeI would feel disconnected and
you know it would throw me offfrom that flow state, and so I
(18:54):
started removing it.
And it's like even that sozeand coffee and even even some
like foods and what have youthat we put in, you know,
particularly process, it's all adisconnection, isn't it?
From that, from that beautifulsource and and just numbs us.
And I think, like I, now thatI've experienced it in the way
that I have, like I want to stayin that state as much as I
(19:16):
possibly can and get you know,closer and closer to that all
the time and that ability to,because I do, you know, we all
get in our heads and we all getdisconnected and we all get, you
know, the ego comes in savagely, you know, all the time right
and it's sneaky.
But again, you know, being somuch more grounded by not having
(19:36):
all those extra substances anddistractions just makes it so
much easier to not fall into theego and not believe it and to
observe it and to laugh at it orcall it out or whatever that
might look like, and just bringourselves back to our highest
truth, essentially, and back toour hearts.
And you know, this is whatsobriety is about.
(19:57):
For me, it's not about giving upalcohol.
It's about so, so much morethat.
And I love having people likeyou on the podcast who I can
talk to about this stuff,because it's the biggest gift of
sobriety in my opinion.
And it goes so much deeperbecause it doesn't matter if
you're just a social drinker andyou, you know, don't feel that
you need to give up, like it'salcohol still having an impact
(20:19):
spiritually.
I absolutely know that to betrue.
Yeah, yeah.
So thank you for bringing allthat up?
Speaker 2 (20:27):
Oh yeah, no, absolutely.
It's such a.
It's a strong form of self-love, isn't it?
It's so choosing yourself it'sto me that's the highest love is
choosing self.
And how can you, how can youshow up fully with, in
(20:47):
relationship for yourfriendships in the world,
spreading love, if you're noteven doing it for you?
Speaker 1 (20:56):
yeah, that would be tough for me.
Yeah, no, totally.
And I always say, like alcoholsort of brings in like the
darkness, like it's a gatewayfor darkness, like you know it's
.
You know, when you look at thefact that you know we're either
living through the lens of loveor the lens of fear, like, no
matter what emotion you, youchunk it down, it always comes
(21:17):
down to either love or fear.
Right, and for me, alcohol andhangovers fueled the fear and
life is hard enough.
Right, life is hard enough.
So why would we add that extralayer in?
And I think it's.
It goes back to that wholeshort-term pain, long-term gain
thing, doesn't it?
Because I think people don'trealize a lot of people don't
(21:39):
give up alcohol.
I think because they don'trealize, like, the beauty and
the magic of how good itactually gets in the end.
Because actually, let's behonest, like it's not like you
go straight into this, like we.
You've done two years, I'vedone two and a half years.
You know there is, there isdefinitely harder times.
Um, I'd love to hear about thatfrom you actually.
And like how you found it from,like you know the different
(22:03):
stages, like whether there was atime where you found it a
little bit more difficult, but Ifeel like we've both gone
through into this place nowwhere it's just we can only see
like the magnificence of it.
Was there any points on yourjourney where it was more
challenging, when you gave up,like how did that look?
Speaker 2 (22:22):
thank you, um, for asking.
So I think there are a fewtimes I can think of that were
tough.
Um, mainly most of them were inthe beginning.
Like the start, it was awkward.
I wanted to go out with friendsExcuse me, sorry, I'm having a
(22:43):
sparkling water and it is, it isbubbling in there, um, um, see,
and that's like the see.
That was a divine talking,because my sparkling water has
been the saving grace of anyouting.
Yeah, so in the beginning Iwanted to go out with friends
(23:04):
and it felt really awkward tonot order a drink.
And I noticed when my energywasn't fully, because when I
first went sober I wasn't like Iwas all in, but subconsciously
there was still like a questionmark, there's still like a is
this really going to last?
Can I really do this?
Is this really like?
(23:25):
Is this real?
That was me being a skeptic,truly of my highest self, and
myself like myself.
I can't even think of the wordcommitment, like committing to
myself.
I almost didn't believe I coulddo it.
(23:45):
So the energy, the people feltthat.
So they'd be like come on, justhave a drink.
Like, why, why are you even youknow you want to, and I just
like no, no, like kindly, butafter maybe a month or two and I
know that sounds quick, butthat felt like a long time to me
(24:05):
I was like, no, like this isthe end.
I'm not, this isn't even aquestion Like I'm sober for the
long haul.
And, um, because this is, thisis what I want, this is my
spiritual path, this is who I amnow and that's where I want to
go.
It's important to me.
And people approached medifferent.
(24:28):
No one started, no one wasasking me oh, you want one, come
on, just take it.
No one was even offering andquestioning my sobriety.
People just left me alone andwere like, oh, she wants a water
, she'll take a swatting waterIf they order for me, if usually
I'm ordering for me.
But you know, some of myfriends love to order.
They're like, well, she's goingto have this, she's going to
(24:49):
have that and um, so the energyshift completely transformed
when I was sure, and I feel likethat's magical and that's
energy speaks loud.
And another hard moment I canthink of is after my dad passed.
(25:10):
I was like thinking to myself,as he was an alcoholic, oh, my
dad would.
How I want to connect to my dadis to drink what he would, and
he loved Bud Light and he workedfor Budweiser.
Little back story on my dad he,you know, he always had stacks
(25:33):
I mean anyway, I don't need toget into details Stacks of like
packs of beer, like 24 packs,and so he had them at his house.
So after we left the hospital,um, I got home and I'm staring
at it like, well, that's what hedrank.
So I want to feel connected tohim.
(25:54):
So maybe I should just have asip and it'll be fine.
Like, not a big, no, big deal.
I'm very proud of myself.
I did not have a sip because Ireally took a moment, took a
breath, thought about it,allowed myself my true self to
speak to me and I said no, and Ithink I even opened it and then
(26:17):
I just handed it over tosomebody else and I was like, no
, I'm good.
Um, so to me it sounds simpleto hand it over, but it was hard
.
It was a hard moment, it was adark moment, it was it's.
I'm still in dark night of thesoul and I deal with it
differently.
It comes in waves, yeah, andthere are moments I do think
(26:39):
about drinking in this grief,yeah, and how I stay sober, I
think, is always being presentwith myself, letting me be there
for me, rather than thoughtscontrolling me.
And the thoughts are what comeup that even think about the
(27:03):
alcohol.
It's not even like my trueessence.
It's.
It's a thought, it's a pasttrauma, it's a how can I connect
?
Speaker 1 (27:09):
How can I connect?
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah, oh, my gosh Ego .
The ego loves to come to medaily.
Yeah, and we love the egobecause we get to tell the ego
no, and that's power, that's ourpower.
Yeah, so I would love to hearyour hard moments and how you
(27:34):
get out of those thoughts andthe ego trying to tell you like
it's time to drink, girl.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Just get a drink in, oh, my goodness, the ego, the
ego, the thoughts, and the egotrying to tell you like it's
time to drink.
Girl, just get a drink in theego, the ego, the ego, the ego.
Well, again, thank you forsharing all of that.
And, um, you know, and, andobviously huge love and you know
, so sorry for your loss andyou've just I've just watched
you use all of your beautifultools to go through everything
and you know, yeah, yeah, justmust have been so hard and must
(28:04):
be so hard, but super proud ofeverything that you're doing and
thank you for sharing, bianca.
Yeah, and it's so strangebecause when you just spoke,
then and I'm just going to sayit because it came to me and I
trust what comes to me and youwhen we're having these
conversations, and even thoughmy father is very much alive,
(28:24):
but I have like that same kindof like, we connected over
alcohol.
He's very like strong with hisdrink, is champagne, right, and
I have already had thesethoughts come to me about his
funeral, right, which mightsound bizarre and what have you,
but it's true, because that'show deeply ingrained it is right
, like you know, he, weconnected over that.
We massively have alwaysconnected over alcohol, like my
(28:46):
ego is actually my dad's, likethat's essentially what I've
learned, you know, like I tookon the role of like the youngest
daughter, almost like a son,and we connected over booze and
I had all this bravado and henever really.
And we connected over booze andI had all this bravado and he
never really.
I don't think he's ever reallyknown who I truly am right,
because that's kind of like therelationship that we've had.
Um, so it's been a wholejourney, with me now being sober
(29:08):
and him not reallyunderstanding it and finding new
ways to connect and having tohave difficult conversations
with him from the heart aroundthat.
But getting to my point, whenyou shared that about wanting to
pick up the drink, it's kind oflike I've already thought to
myself would I have a toast ofchampagne at his funeral?
Because that's that is my dad,that is literally my dad and I
know my sisters will be doingthat.
(29:28):
But I feel so I felt so into howyou just explained, how you
felt, and I think I will staycompletely true to me.
You know, I can feel that and Ithink it would be a hard moment
, but is it's coming back towhat you truly want and what you
truly align with and thesechoices that you're making and
the path that you're on.
And, yeah, the truth, the truthand not the ego, because that
(29:49):
that was a lot of ego, right.
And so, yes, I get the ego allthe time it comes in strong, the
false self, the fear, thedarkness, like all of the things
.
And I will say, actually it'snot so much around alcohol for
me now, I would say for me, it'sso, it will, it will kind of
(30:14):
like I call it new level, newdevil.
So whenever I'm doing somethingbigger with sober chapters, like
taking on a new project, or youknow, on the journey of sober
chapters, like alcohol was kindof like.
You know, I knew that I didn'twant alcohol, I was starting to
do everything that I'm doingwith sober chapters, but when I
was expanding my comfort zone,you know, doing all the things
(30:34):
that the ego doesn't like, youknow, staying getting out of my
patterns, all of that, it wouldtry and pull me back and like
that voice of fear and you know,and it would.
When I'm in my head, I call itrather than my heart, when I'm
in my ego more like it will comein and it will try and sabotage
and tell me that you know, Idon't really want to be growing
sober chapters in the way that Iam and, like you know, using
(30:54):
all these like sneaky ways toget to me, which is just not the
truth, because sober chaptersis absolutely my purpose in this
lifetime and I know that morethan anything.
Right, but it's that's how itwill come in and the ego is
actually coming in.
So I'm just going to say it.
Like I have this like amazingum guy that's come into my life
and we're just very much friends.
(31:15):
At the moment I can't believeI'm even saying this because
everyone knows I've been singlefor like years but we just have
like a beautiful friendship and,um, you know who knows where
that is going at this stage.
But I will say that like wehave both done a lot of work and
we both understand the ego andwhat's coming up for me, because
I haven't had like this closeof a connection with a guy in so
long.
(31:35):
Like a lot of insecurities arecoming up for me.
So those old insecurities thatI talked about, that I used to
hide when I was drinking,they're surfacing now.
You know, for example, I hadone about like the fact that I
use fake tan, like literallyyesterday, and like telling him
that I use fake tan because he'scoming to visit in Australia,
and I'm like this is likeridiculous, right, but it just
(31:57):
brought up for me like how muchI used to feel like that then
drink on a night out and notworry about it, and so like all
this stuff is coming up and it'sjust for me.
I just now see it as like sointeresting and such growth and
I'm so aware of it because it'slike we've we're you know I'm
not drinking so I can see what'shappening and it's using all
(32:17):
these other different ways.
Um, but yeah, I'm just workingthrough all's happening and it's
using all these other differentways.
Um, but yeah, I'm just workingthrough all of it and it's all
growth and expansion and youknow, just peeling back all
those layers and gettingconfident, just coming back to
me and who I am, and owning,owning all those insecurities as
well, like that takes the poweraway from the ego, just owning
(32:37):
it and, you know, beingauthentic, and I've never been
able to do that before,particularly with men.
So, yeah, that was a wholetangent that I didn't expect to
come out, but I don't know.
I hope that kind of lands foranyone listening that can relate
, and for you too yes, oh, itdid land.
Speaker 2 (32:55):
I want to go back to some of the stuff you said
before and then come to therelationship things, the ego and
the dad.
I think a lot of people noteveryone, I will never speak for
everyone but I think it's verycommon when you said your ego
comes from your dad, Iimmediately was like yes, yes,
yes, yes.
I can relate, and I've heardother people talk about wanting
(33:20):
dad's approval, not just women,but men especially, and women.
We all want approval of ourparents, no matter male, female,
dad, mom.
That approval ends up kind ofshaping our ego Like oh well, if
we do this, we know dad willlike it.
If we do this, we know mom willthink we're successful or
(33:41):
beautiful or good enough orbrave enough or or badass enough
and enter whatever.
It is here that your parentskind of maybe have sat around
you they could have even nothave said it directly to you,
but they said it to their friend.
They're like, oh, that girl,she looked like this and she's
annoying and like you.
That stuck with you forever.
Or your dad said, oh, I hatewhen someone does this and so
(34:05):
you never did that thing.
So I love that you connectedthe ego to dad, because my ego a
hundred percent comes from bothparents and mainly from my dad.
Um, thank you for naming thatbecause it landed for me and,
like now, I can really dive intothat a little bit more in my
(34:29):
own time or even on here.
And I also want to connect howthe ego to dad can get into your
future relationships, romanticrelationships, friendships, how
you even look at men in general,so the fact that you are
breaking down the barriers andit's hard for you.
Oh, I also want to talk aboutthe funeral and you said it's
(34:52):
going to be really hard and howthat is your dad.
The alcohol, the drink is your.
You said champagne or wine.
Speaker 1 (35:00):
Yes, Is what your dad drinks.
Champagne.
Speaker 2 (35:04):
That champagne is your dad and and I, I want to
name that because I went throughthis and what I noticed is I'm
my dad in a sense, and I'mchoosing to break that pattern.
Yes, and I'm choosing to breakthat pattern, yes, and I'm
choosing to say no, and thatwhen you said that is my dad, I
thought the same, I know I, Icould cry that one, that one
(35:28):
landed for me and because yousaid it, it brought me clarity
of.
For me, this is what my futureis, the success of my future,
and anyone, if I happen to havekids or not, I don't think I
will, but just ending thepattern there and choosing light
(35:51):
, choosing love, self-love inthat moment, and then back to
the relationships it connects tohow we look at men and how we
receive men in our lives andallow them in or put walls up,
or so.
I just want to say I'm so happyfor you that you're able to
welcome in the love and I hope Ican go off on another tangent
(36:14):
with my own love journey is I,my man, eric, my boyfriend is
who showed me the mirror of myalcohol being an issue of
alcohol being very, very toxicto everyone around me and myself
(36:35):
when I'm drinking and the daysafter, and myself when I'm
drinking and the days after.
And if I didn't allow the loveand the, the self, or not the
self-criticism, but the, thecriticism for growth, not like
the constructive criticism,that's the word.
If I didn't allow that in, youknow, we would have broke up and
(36:58):
I would have just moved on andkept drinking and found someone
who accepted the drinking andand.
But my highest self was likegirl, you know he's, he's
showing you, he's mirroring toyou what you don't want, or else
, why is it being brought up andI don't put the full?
I don't give him the full likeit's not because of him, I'm
(37:21):
sober.
It was many things leading upto that moment that I was like I
want to stop drinking.
Other friends stopping todrinking.
One of his friends was soberfor 10 years or something like
that, and I asked him.
I said why don't you drink?
Like I was like I didn'tbelieve anyone didn't drink when
I asked his friend thisquestion Um, so it was many
(37:45):
things leading up to that.
That was just the icing on thecake.
That was like this is it?
You want to be your best self?
This is not her.
She will not be showing up hungover the next day, she will not
be drinking at every outing.
She will not because that isnot the best version of me.
(38:10):
And so, just accepting thatlove and that mirroring in our
lives, I'm just so proud of youfor allowing someone who also is
just showing you that love andshowing you that sober
relationships are out there.
They are accessible and they areso nourishing.
And I mean, my boyfriend drinks, but once in a year or once in
(38:36):
six or seven months, and I justwant to say, like that it's,
it's magic in between thosetimes and, um, I just so happy
for you at the same time tobring that relationship into
your life.
Speaker 1 (38:50):
Well, I mean I'm it's .
That's the thing, Like I didn'texpect to talk about it,
because at the moment it's likevery much this beautiful
friendship, right, you knowwhatever it is, it's a gift,
like it's a gift, like it'sdefinitely a gift, and you know
he lives overseas.
So we've been kind of goingthrough.
I can't believe it's so funnywe're going out and talking
(39:11):
about this, but it's.
It's been incredible because,like the mirror thing is real,
like the mirror thing is realand you know we're both on this
like huge growth journey andlike he doesn't drink either,
like the way we've met has beenlike crazy.
Like everyone knows that I havelike been on this huge
spiritual journey that followsme and like I've had all this
guidance to be ever since mysober chapter.
(39:33):
I'd had all this guidance to goto LA and like I never really
knew why, like what that was,and you know I have.
I did meet him in LA and hedoesn't drink either.
And yeah, we've been, like youknow, just learning so much from
each other and you know I havelike obviously, like thoughts
about where it could go, butlike at the moment, it's just so
fascinating like the way thatit is bringing up all of this
(39:56):
stuff from my past and it linksin with the dad stuff, because
so my father, like you know,there was a lot of conditioning,
not just around alcohol butaround appearance and about
women's appearances and so likethat's where, that's that's how
I was shaped and when you weretalking, it's like it was down
to I was taught.
I guess I feel like a lot of us,when we're young, are taught
(40:18):
that love's conditional.
You know that's what it comesdown to, isn't it?
We all have fear around lovebeing conditional and actually
true love, pure love, love,energy, it's unconditional and
it's you know.
That's the process that I'mgoing through at the moment.
I believe to be, you know, whenyou're coming back home to who
you truly are and, like you know, removing all those barriers to
(40:40):
like unconditional love because, like you just didn't know it,
like when you were, when youwere young, and I think, um,
it's just this whole journey andit sounds like you know, with
what you, with your partner,that's come into your life.
You know, you obviously had thisintention that alcohol.
You're obviously becoming awarethat alcohol wasn't serving you
and then you know it's thisbeautiful gift from God really
(41:00):
that's come into your life toshow you and help you get to the
highest version of you, andthat's what a truly divine
relationship is all about, isn'tit?
And that's what I've wanted,that's why I've been single for
eight years and that's what I'vebeen waiting for.
And you know, I have mythoughts around what I'm going
through right now and I'm sure Ican elaborate more at some
point, but I do believe thatit's a bit of a gift from God
(41:26):
literally yeah, yeah, to reallyhelp me.
You know I've already done a lotof the groundwork, put the
intentions in, been on thisjourney for a long time and I
feel like this is the next levelof my evolution, with all of
that you know, and to justreally own my authenticity, own
these insecurities and, you know, stand in my truth, you know,
(41:48):
potentially for the first timeever with a male.
Speaker 2 (41:53):
So it's, yeah, fascinating, wow, thanks to our
dads for the lessons, and we getto take and leave what we want.
And they got to show us Even ifyou know I have so many stories
I could say, but even if someare bad and some are good, we
still get to decide from here asadults what we want, and they
(42:23):
helped us figure that out in,and I think that's just so
beautiful that you get to, um,see that right now and go
through that now and, um, Ithink you know all relationships
are teachers, aren't they?
They're such spiritualpractices.
I mean friendships, reallyromantic relationships, child
(42:45):
and father and in mother,relationships and sibling
relationships.
I don't know if you have anysiblings, I don't think.
Did you have a brother?
Yes, it's no.
Sisters, yeah, yeah sisters.
Speaker 1 (42:56):
You said that that's right and you're yeah.
Speaker 2 (43:00):
I'm the youngest as well, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think there's somethingabout it.
Speaker 1 (43:06):
Like the youngest and the black sheep end up going on
these journeys.
I see it all the time, yeah,and you know, I mean, depending
it's probably a big rabbit holefor another time that we could
go down.
But you know, there's the wholesoul contract thing right where
, like, we come in to learnlessons.
Essentially, life is, life isall about lessons.
And you know, we even chooseour parents, like you know,
(43:27):
whatever your beliefs are.
But you know I'm, I'm believingit all the more and more and
more that things are evolvinglike absolutely, um, you know
it's, it's, it's all a massivelesson.
Our soul just wants growth.
You know, our soul just wantsgrowth.
And I think, again, that linksin really nicely with what I say
about how, like you know,people are guided to remove
(43:48):
alcohol for a higher reason,because, like, our soul is
craving that growth andevolution.
And, you know, alcohol doeskeep us much more stuck in those
blinkers, in that comfort zone,in that day-to-day fueled by
the ego, trapped by the ego,like all of those things.
So it's all linked, which isbeautiful.
I love that we've just gone onall these like little tangents.
(44:09):
I think we need to do moreepisodes, definitely um.
I would love, just conscious,because, putting it out there
and with my time organization,I've got my training, haven't I?
In like nine minutes.
So we're gonna have to wrap itup and do a part two.
I reckon Bianca at some point,um, that sounds gorgeous.
I'd love it biggest thing ever,like.
(44:30):
I've loved your openness, I'veloved your wisdom, I've loved
the way that you just followyour intuition when you're
talking, because that allows meto and I just it's such a
gorgeous way to run these things, um, but the real thing that
hit home then was like yousaying how you know, you know,
really, you are your dad andyou're ending the cycle now and
you chose to end the cycle nowand break that, you know, break
(44:50):
that pattern, and that reallyreally landed for me and so
thank you thank you for that.
Is there anything?
On your heart that you want toshare for the end of the episode
as well.
Speaker 2 (45:01):
I just want to say how grateful I am for you and
for this moment.
It was divine a divineconnection, a divine
conversation.
The timing was perfect and Ijust I'm so glad to get to
(45:26):
connect with you and I'm so.
The fact that we connected inour embodiment course to now is
just so magical, and it's like Iwas meant to join for so many
reasons and you are one of thosereasons.
So thank you.
Speaker 1 (45:37):
Thank you, beautiful.
I'm so grateful for you and youknow, to all of you gorgeous
listeners like I really justcan't stress enough how, how
enlightening sobriety is.
And if it is a little bit, youknow, messy in the middle for
you, or clunky, or you're in theearly stages, the middle stages
, whatever that looks like, justknow that your higher self
(45:57):
brought you to this and to staytrue to that version of you and
just to keep going.
And you know the, the messiness, the darkness, it's all
temporary, um, but you will justget so much growth and strength
from going through thatdarkness and there's always
light on the other side, alwayslight on the other side.
So thank you, bianca.
(46:18):
And where can people find youas well?
Speaker 2 (46:22):
yes, you can find me on instagram, tiktok, youtube,
and my instagram is speltb-i-a-n-x-a dot x-i-i, and on
that instagram you can also findmy podcast instagram, which is
at that bitch energy, just speltlike that that bitch energy.
(46:44):
And then TikTok is this you canfind all my social media from
my Instagram, so I'll just kindof throw that there.
Speaker 1 (46:56):
Because it's linked.
Definitely give her a follow.
She's amazing.
She is just, yeah, the epitomeof embodiment of everything
divine feminine.
I love you and we will chatagain soon, gorgeous thanks for
letting me kiki with you.
Speaker 2 (47:13):
Didi, I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day.
Speaker 1 (47:16):
Thank you darling, thank you for listening to
today's episode of the SoberChapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so, if you'refeeling called, I would love you
(47:38):
to leave a review from whateverplatform it is that you're
listening on, and if you send mea screenshot of that review to
dd at SoberChapterscom, I willput you into the mix of winning
a free one-on-one coachingsession with me.
If you would like to learn moreabout Sober Chapters and to
follow along on Instagram it'sSober underscore Chapters.
(48:02):
To follow along on Instagram,it's sober underscore chapters.
You'll find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching,
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
(48:23):
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
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