In this episode of the Sober Chapters Podcast, Didi Jordan reconnects with Ashlee Roberts, who originally began her alcohol-free journey as one of Didi’s 1:1 coaching clients. What started as a personal decision to embark on a sober chapter has sparked a profound transformation in Ashlee’s life, unlocking new levels of confidence, personal and spiritual growth, and deeper connections in her relationships.
As they reflect on Ashlee’s journey, the conversation highlights the ripple effect of sobriety, how making one change can lead to unexpected shifts in every aspect of life. Ashlee shares how stepping away from alcohol was both scary and empowering, allowing her to embrace her true self and navigate relationships with newfound clarity. She and Didi discuss the importance of community, the power of self-compassion, and the ongoing process of healing and self-discovery. Sobriety isn’t about giving something up, it’s about gaining a fuller, richer life, and Ashlee’s story is a testament to that.
Ashlee is now a Sober Coach, supporting individuals through their own journeys of transformation and sobriety within the Heart of Wellness community. Her personal experience and the growth she’s achieved make her an inspiring guide for others looking to make lasting change in their lives.
Beyond Ashlee’s inspiring transformation, Didi also takes a moment to share some exciting personal news—her relationship with Pete. She opens up about this new chapter in her own life, emphasising how love, alignment, and personal growth continue to shape her journey in unexpected and beautiful ways.
Whether you're just beginning to explore an alcohol-free life or are deep into your own transformation, Ashlee’s story and Didi’s reflections will leave you feeling inspired, supported, and reminded of the beauty that comes with choosing yourself.
You can connect with Ashlee directly at ashlee@heartofwellness.com or find her on Instagram at @sol_beginnings.
Thank you for being here and for being a part of The Sober Chapters Community.
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Website for more information on Didi and her services/coaching programs available at www.soberchapters.com
FREE GUIDE: 69 Tips, Tricks & Resources to assist you during your own sober chapter available via the link on sober_chapters and via the sober chapters website.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
(01:10):
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast, and
today I've got the very specialAshley Roberts back on.
She was with me in the veryearly days of starting this.
She was initially a one-on-oneclient and she is now very much
a soul sister of mine.
She lives over in Utah.
I've been able to go over andvisit her and we have the most
special connection.
It's been beautiful and she'sgone on to do some incredible
(01:30):
things since she started her ownSober chapter, which I'll let
her tell you all about, and sheis also now in the Sober
coaching space, which is justamazing.
So we thought it was about timewe had a little catch-up.
So welcome Ashley, so good tosee you again yeah, thank you
for having me back.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
This is so, so fun and I feel like I'm going to be
a lot more relaxed than I wasduring that first podcast.
I actually went back andre-listened to that today and I
was just like thinking, wow, howmuch I've just changed in this
last year.
Um, just so much more confidentand you know, sharing my story.
(02:12):
So, yeah, thank you for havingme back.
I've got my sparkling water andmy wine glass as a celebration
me too.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I've literally got my San Pellegrini and my wine
glass just for you because we'vebonded over many of these.
So for anyone listening, ourgo-to drink that's really helped
us in sobriety is sparklingwater in a wine glass with ice
and lemon, and it has literallygot me through so many of those
initial events and it's now mygo-to drink, and I think you're
(02:43):
pretty similar with that Ash onyou as well yeah, I am.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I feel like it's kind of become your trademark, but
yeah, I kind of stole it fromyou.
So it's, it's just a a fun wayto still be fancy and you know,
I I loved it's like keeping yourwine glass and, you know,
having your own rules with it.
So, so, so, yeah, yeah, I'mjust excited to be here with you
and, um, you know your triphere to Utah.
(03:08):
I felt like it just felt socomfortable.
I mean, I know that we'dalready been coaching together,
but something that I have found,you know, during my
alcohol-free journey is thatmeeting people who are also on
an alcohol-free journey justfeel this instant connection
with people.
And you know the friendshipsthat I have made on this journey
(03:29):
.
I just they mean so much to meand you know, when you came here
, it was just so magical and,you know, special.
So I hope we can connect soon,you know, in the near future,
and see each other again.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, I know, I feel exactly the same, ash, like it
was absolutely beautiful.
I think I even did a couple ofpodcasts from where you are now
as well.
When I was there and just somuch happened, I felt like we
were just both so like in flowand just seeing all the signs
and just all that gorgeous stuffthat we've connected on you
know over, I guess what is itnow?
(04:07):
It's like how long have youbeen alcohol free?
It was December 2023 for youright?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
yeah, so December it was on my birthday.
December 22nd was my 39thbirthday, because I decided to
go alcohol free um for the lastyear of my 30s and looked at it
as a, you know, sober chapter,which I was really drawn to when
I started following yourInstagram.
I really liked that you usedthe term sober chapter, because
(04:40):
when I thought about removingalcohol, the thought of removing
it forever felt really scaryand impossible and so, um, so,
yeah, that's that's the way thatI did it.
So today I'm I'm 438 days um ofbeing on my alcohol free
journey.
Um, I will say that, you know,during that time, there have
(05:00):
been a couple of times that Idid take a little sip out of my
husband's drink, and I sharethat because you know I did it
as sort of like a curiosity tosee.
Is this going to make me want myown glass, you know, of wine,
is going to make me want my owncocktail, and you know, it sort
(05:21):
of felt like, you know, runninginto a familiar friend that you
used to hang out with and youknow it's like they're familiar
to you, but you kind of go, oh,I remember why we stopped
hanging out, like there'snothing that we have in common
anymore is kind of what it feltlike.
But, yeah, I share that too,because I feel like, you know,
(05:42):
in doing that, I still, you know, kept I didn't go back and
reset my days when I did thattoo, because I feel like, um,
you know, in doing that, I still, you know, kept I didn't go
back and reset my days when Idid that, um, and I looked at it
as kind of like research to seeyou know what would happen.
And I feel like a lot of peoplethat are on alcohol-free
journeys, um, they'll have dayswhere they they want to, you
(06:02):
know, have a drink and see whathappens, or they have a they
call it a slip up and um, andthen they really beat themselves
up and just feel like they haveto, you know, start all over
and start it.
You know, day zero again, and Ijust don't think that that's
the case.
I feel like, you know, whenyou're on this journey, you get
to make up the rules and you getto say what your recovery looks
(06:26):
like and and so, yeah, so Ican't say that I totally didn't
have any alcohol during the lastfour hundred thirty eight days,
but definitely never been drunkand didn't have any hangovers.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So yeah, yeah, you've done.
You've done amazing.
It's been so incredible to towatch it all unfold and, yeah, I
think you know, going back towhat you just said, like there,
you know that I think there canbe sometimes a lot of pressure
and a lot of stigma and a lot ofdifferent like ways of doing
things, and I think really, weall do have to just tune into
(07:01):
ourselves and our own kind ofunique path to sobriety whatever
that looks like so I loveourselves and our own kind of
unique path to surprise eat,whatever that looks like.
So I love that.
You have that kind of approachand mindset around it and I'd
love to know as well, becauseyou're doing so much now with
that kind of sober coaching inthe community that you're in.
I'd love to hear and for you toshare more about what you've
been doing and what you've beenlearning and like where you're
at with all of that as well, andwhat you've experienced.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, yeah, I'd love to share.
So I completed the Euphoric AFprogram like you did.
That was back in last September.
And then I actually connectedwith a woman here in Utah.
Her name is Cheyenne and sheowns a company that's called
Heart of Wellness and she has apartner whose name is also
(07:44):
Ashley.
So I partnered with the two ofthem and they already had a
sober support group up andrunning.
It's an online group coaching,and so we've been growing that
together.
So, let's see, I started upwith them in December of last
year and so I've been workingwith them for the last couple of
(08:08):
months and helping them runtheir silver support group.
We do two online calls a weekMondays and Thursday nights and
we've got about 50 members inthat program right now and it's
been amazing we're seeing somany people hitting huge
milestones.
It's been amazing we're seeingso many people hitting huge
milestones.
We had a woman this week sharethat she just hit 50 days of
(08:30):
being alcohol free, and so it'sbeen a lot of fun.
We have a private Facebookgroup where everybody can go and
just motivate each other,support each other.
When they're having hard,challenging days.
We try to keep interestingtopics for them every week when
we jump on our zoom calls, werun them like sort of like an
(08:50):
open table where we just ask ageneral question and then we go
around to the whole group sothat they each get to share if
they feel comfortable sharing.
But yeah, it's been reallygreat.
And and then, apart from that,I have a couple people that I'm
also coaching, just you know,one on one, um, which I also
really really enjoy doing, so,yeah, yeah, it's awesome, it's.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I just yeah, I love how much you've done in such a
short space of time and you thatyou mentioned at the beginning
of this, like how much yourconfidence has grown, which is
something that I think about allthe time when I see, like
building that you know, genuine,true, authentic confidence,
because you know we don't havethe comfort blanket or the false
(09:34):
comfort blanket of the alcoholanymore.
And I guess, like what, what'sbeen your experience with that?
Like how, how do you feel thatthat has helped you?
Like what have you seen happenwhen it's come to your
confidence, like the biggestchanges, would you say, like
over the last 400 and howevermany days it's been?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I mean, I would say I was thinking about this today
actually because I saw a post onInstagram and it just it got me
really thinking.
But I was carrying this versionof myself that was, there was a
part of me that was still this15 year old girl that started
drinking and was drinking to fitin, drinking to feel like she
(10:18):
belonged.
I was carrying part of her withme still and since removing
alcohol, I feel like gainingthat inner confidence and this
sense of like I belong here, Ibelong in the room, feeling more
comfortable in my skin.
You know, going through all ofthose things in the last year
(10:40):
vacations, birthdays, you know,special events and things like
that gave me this.
It's, it's just this empoweringfeeling that if I can do this,
you know what else can I do?
And I didn't feel like I hadthat before.
And you know, your stuff onInstagram really resonated with
(11:01):
me when I started my journey,because there was this part of
me that felt stuck and it feltlike alcohol was that missing.
That was that piece that Ineeded to remove or change about
my life.
That was going to help me to,you know, catapult me in this
direction that I wanted to go inand I'm not going to lie, it's
(11:21):
been scary.
It's been scary as hell attimes, like changes and putting
yourself out there and puttingyourself online and your story,
and you know there's there'slike a marketing of it too when
you get into the coaching world.
That's, you know the piece ofit that you don't really realize
, and so I've had to really likework through a lot of my own
(11:46):
limiting beliefs in that and so,yeah, I feel like alcohol was
the magic key.
I don't know, it's hard toexplain.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Well, I think, yeah, thank you.
I think the biggest thing thatI mean I talk about it all the
time about it being so much morethan just removing alcohol, but
I think anyone that's into kindof any form of like personal or
spiritual growth, right, it'staking the alcohol away like
just every day, like everydaythings, that you don't even
(12:19):
realize that you were maskingstuff with alcohol, with like
taking that out of the equation.
It just it's like growth, likean acceleration of growth every
single day with everything thatyou do, isn't it?
And I think that's you know,probably, why we came into each
other's worlds, because you were, you know, on that path as well
.
And it's just, it is such anaccelerator and you don't even
(12:39):
realize it.
Even like the social drinkingelement I get so many people say
to me oh, I'm just a socialdrinker.
It's like, yeah, but imaginelike the amount of situations
where you're having alcoholnaturally, like when you take it
away, you feel all thesetriggers that you get to then
work through that you wouldnever have known about if you
were just still having the drink.
So you're literally taking yourcomfort blanket away and you're
(12:59):
being like you say it's not.
It can be really uncomfortableto start with, but it does.
You end up facing so many fears, like all the time, and it has
just such a knock-on effect andit compounds so much over time.
And to think that you've done400 or something days now
without a drop of alcohol.
I know you mentioned the taste,but to me it doesn't really.
(13:20):
You know it's not a thing right,because it's not actually like
impacted an event or anythinglike that, but you've done all
of that, had that compound, likeeffective building and knowing
where you're.
You know, knowing where you're,perhaps like struggling with
things that you didn't knowabout before and being able to
really shine a light on that and, you know, do the work to move
forwards with it.
And it's, it's.
(13:40):
There's so many elements to itas well, isn't it?
From, like you know, healingour nervous system point of view
, like continuing to take thosebaby steps in the direction of
your fears, and, yeah, so it's,it's huge.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, it is.
And you know you talk a lotabout ego and how the ego comes
into play with a lot of thiswork, and you're right, it is.
It's like hold on tight becauseyour growth is going to
accelerate in ways that younever thought possible.
(14:13):
But one thing that I did startnoticing was and it was
interesting because it was likea week before my silver chapter
was supposed to be over, so itwas a week before my birthday
and I think I reached out to youand I said, oh, my gosh, it's
happening, because my egostarted saying stuff like, oh,
(14:35):
you've, you've already provenyour point, like you've
basically made it a year, youknow, just, you're fine, you
should just go back to drinking.
You didn't really have aproblem anyway.
Year you know just, you're fine, you should just go back to
drinking.
You didn't really have aproblem anyway.
And you know, and it plays thesemind tricks on you and, and so
I think you get better atrecognizing your ego and
recognizing, become more awareof your thoughts and learning to
(15:01):
sit with them and, just, youknow, learning to like, love and
accept yourself more.
And you know having days I meanthere's there's there's hard
days in in this type of ajourney and, um, you know,
learning to sit with it and askfor help too, ask for help from
(15:26):
a higher power, and that wasreally something that I was
drawn to was getting more intouch with my spirituality, and
I just felt like when I wasdrinking, it wasn't possible.
I had a hard time tapping into,you know, my own intuition.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, you can bring all of that up like a matter
very close to both of our hearts.
Right, the spiritual side.
I think it's just a huge, ahuge, huge, huge reason.
I think I think probably thereason why I removed alcohol.
To be honest, like the guidance, like all the breaks that I had
(16:05):
taken for years and howconnected I felt in that time
and then every time I went backto drinking like it just blocked
it.
And I think, yeah, I love thatyou bring up the awareness,
because the ego is really,really sneaky and you know, when
you are drinking it's reallyhard to differentiate between
that you critical, false selfimposter syndrome, the ego,
(16:25):
whatever you want to call it,and it's it can pull you into
believing it's lies if youaren't aware of the difference.
Right, and I think the longerthat you stay alcohol free, the
more connected and in tune withyour higher self you become and
the easier it is not to fallinto the lies of the ego.
And so, yeah, you say like, sitand recognize, you know, sit
(16:48):
with those emotions as well andnot fall into the emotions that
those thoughts bring.
Because that's huge and it'sjust being able to create a
separation between those two andjust connect so much deeper
with that highest version of us.
And I think you know I've seensome beautiful posts of yours
lately around being able to dropin more to, or connect more to,
(17:09):
your feminine energy, and Ithink that that's a huge, huge
gift.
One of the biggest gifts thatbeing alcohol free has given me
is I didn't actually realizequite how in my head and in my
masculine energy I was before,because I've always been a bit
girly and everything like that,so I didn't really, you know,
think about it.
But I look back now and evenlooking at old photos, and it's
(17:30):
like, wow, I was so much more inmy head so much more in fear so
much more, trying to control,like I didn't really know how to
like trust and surrender anddrop into my heart in the same
way, and that that's beenbeautiful, and I've witnessed
all of that in you too, and Iknow it was something that was
really important to you, wasn'tit?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
I felt like, you know, and thatwas also something that I would
use alcohol for, you know, tomake me feel a little bit more
sexy, or I just wasn'tcomfortable that way, and so
it's been really fun to toinvite, play in and to, you know
(18:09):
, go out in my backyard anddance Like I.
I literally just want to be,you know, out in nature all the
time now and, um, yeah,connecting with that feminine
side of me more.
It's something I'm stillworking on, you know, and, um,
it's cool because I'm, there'sthings popping up all over the
place and I've gone to a fewevents where, um, you know, it's
(18:33):
just a lot of women gettingtogether and doing, you know,
dancing together, and there's noalcohol involved, and it's
beautiful.
I love, I love, um, that partof it for sure.
I think that it's, it'simportant and I think a lot more
people are becoming more awareof what this masculine and
(18:53):
feminine energy means as acollective.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
You know, I think people are are just definitely
waking up to, um, you know, theenergies of that yeah, it's all
just so intrinsically linkedwhen you think about it, because
, you know, when we're in ourhearts rather than our heads,
we're in our true nature, whichis our, you know our feminine,
(19:18):
and you know that's just so mucheasier to do without alcohol in
the mix, because it's againlike we're connected deeply to
our bodies and to our hearts andI was like completely
disconnected, I didn't, I didn'tknow that, like I didn't know
anything about it.
But it makes sense, becausewhen we're actually drinking,
we're disconnected to our bodiesbecause we're numb, essentially
(19:41):
, and then you know, the nextday we're naturally in our heads
because of all the anxiety andeverything and all the you know.
So it's like a constant shutoff from being in our hearts and
our bodies, and so I just thinkit's such a huge gift of
sobriety and it even comes backto, you know, the whole piece
around authenticity being.
(20:02):
You know, the highest vibration, for example.
And again, it's like alcoholtakes us away from who we truly
are and by removing it we comeback to our hearts, to our true
nature, which is us being asauthentic, you know, as we, as
we possibly can be.
To be honest, like it's it's sointeresting and like obviously,
(20:22):
recently, things have likechanged for me in terms of I
might as well say it now,because I think this is a great
way to say it with you, ash aswell, because I was going to do
a solo episode about it, but inmy last podcast episode I talked
about how there was a guy thatwas coming over and we were just
good friends and I didn't knowhow it was going to go.
And all of this and that triphas happened and he's been over
(20:46):
and for the first time in eightyears, I have a boyfriend and
he's actually moving to Perthand he's amazing.
His name's Pete, he's fromCanada and he's also sober and I
just know there is absolutelyno way.
And this was a big, big part ofwhy I remember alcohol, because
I was stuck in patterns withthe opposite sex, but it's
(21:08):
because I was stuck in mymasculine, in that fear-based
state like attracting I wasbasically acting like a player
out of fear and attracting theplayers and then just like
fulfilling this whole, likeprophecy of not being enough and
all the things.
And a big part of removingalcohol has been coming back to
my heart, to my true nature andlearning those patterns,
(21:28):
stepping out of them coming backto my feminine being, like my
authentic self, and I knowthere's no way that I would have
attracted in this beautiful,healthy, masculine man if I
hadn't done all of this work anddone this.
So there we go.
I didn't know whether it wasgoing to come up today or not,
but it kind of seemed on pointwith what we were chatting about
(21:48):
.
So that's the news, that's theupdate.
I'm very, very happy.
I feel like I should cheersagain, and I love it because
when I went over to stay withAshley in Utah, I had just come
from LA, from the Lewis Howesevent, and I had been seeing all
this guidance, all these signs,more than I ever usually do,
(22:10):
actually, and Ashley knows allabout that.
And that was where I actuallymet.
Pete was at the Lewis Howesevent, but we were just friends
initially.
But, yeah, I kind of like feltlike something was hugely
changing in my life.
I think you probably rememberall of that, don't you Ash?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, I was watching all of it and seeing
all of seeing all the signs thatyou were seeing and it was, it
was magical and I'm notsurprised.
Yes, cats out of the bag.
Everyone that follows you, thatknows your story, um is going
to be just so thrilled for you,just like I am.
(22:47):
I'm so happy for you.
You deserve it, and you saidsomething, um, you know, in all
of that is just and it's it's abig part of um.
This journey is, you know, notfeeling like you're enough, not
being enough, and I think somany people struggle with that
um, that piece and um, and sothe work you get to do after you
(23:11):
remove alcohol is getting to aplace where you do feel like
you're enough, getting more intouch with what your values are,
um, getting more in touch withwho you truly are, um as a whole
, as a person, um, and it'sbeautiful and our relationships
are important in our lives.
And you know um, my husband,jeremy, still drinks and we've
(23:35):
had to work through that.
Um, there's been times thatwere really hard, um, and
uncomfortable and weird, and youknow, we just I've had to
really open my heart and justfind ways that we can connect
that don't include alcohol.
We've had to get reallycreative with it, but I honor
(23:57):
and respect that.
His journey is his journey andmine is my journey and I truly,
I, I truly feel and believe thatwe can, you know, walk side by
side in this and still supporteach other, even though our
journeys look different.
Um, you know, we can always hopethat we can influence, you know
, our partner, but, um, you know, it's it's also beautiful to
(24:20):
just love the person you're withfor who they are.
You know, and I listened toyour podcast that you did with
Danny and she talked a littlebit about that and I just, I
love what she said about, youknow, keeping her heart open and
you know, you know keeping herheart open and, um, you know,
(24:45):
just loving her husband anywayand changing her mindset with it
.
You know, instead of, you know,wanting him to do, to remove
alcohol with her, you know, shejust completely changed her
mindset to um, you know, I'mjust going to love, love him,
and I'm just going to do, do mything over here, and that's kind
of what I've done do my thingover here and that's kind of
what I've done.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
So, yeah, I love that and I think you know everyone
yeah, everyone's on their ownunique path in this lifetime,
right, you know, and I think youknow a big thing that comes up
in a practice that I use formyself and I speak to clients
about it and my coaches remindme of it and it's like what part
part of, like what part ofsomebody do?
you want to have a relationshipwith.
Do you want to have a part, arelationship with, like their
ego and their head and theirpatterns, or do you want to have
(25:29):
a relationship with their heartand their divine?
And it's kind of like focusingon your heart, to their heart
and that divine part of themthat you adore and it's
unconditional love, isn't it?
And that's like the beautifulchoice that you get to make, and
I think that, at the end of theday, you're alcohol free, so
you're able to constantly bringyourself back to that place and
remind yourself that it's yourheart and his heart and that's
(25:51):
all that.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
All that math is yeah , yeah, and in doing that, I
mean I feel like he definitelydrinks a lot less than he used
to, um, and it and it doesn't.
You know, he has a verydifferent relationship with with
alcohol than I did.
He doesn't get that same guiltor shame um, you know that I was
the guilt of, you know, tryingto be a mother to my daughter
(26:15):
the next day.
You know, it doesn't seem toaffect um, him and probably most
men, you know as much as as Ithink it does women, um, and our
bodies are just different thantheirs too.
You know, I just think weprocess alcohol differently than
they do.
But, yeah, I feel like it'sreally forced us to find deeper
(26:37):
ways that we can connect witheach other.
And you know, we've done alittle bit of the, the
relationship warrior code stuffthat you, um, you know that you
do in Australia and we did likeone of their week uh long
challenges while we were on atrip in Mexico and it was really
fun to just wake up togetherand, um, he didn't really drink
much while we were on that trip.
So we were, you know, kind ofgoing to bed early and waking up
(26:59):
in the morning and, um, youknow, doing a little assignment
and, um, we it just it's.
It's felt like, um, this yearof our marriage has, um, I don't
know how to even explain it.
It's just as as challenging andas hard as it was for me to
(27:20):
change, you know, myrelationship with alcohol.
I felt like it was needed.
I feel like it kind of shined alight on some areas of our
relationship that we need towork on and some loops that
would keep coming up, and it'sjust going to make our marriage
that much stronger.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, definitely, of course, it will, absolutely, and
that's what it's all about,isn't it?
You know, it's that continuousgrowth that comes from being a
relationship which I'm now ableto actually, you know, do in
real time, because, you know,it's kind of cool, because it's
been a long time for me, youknow, eight years, it's been a
long time but I can already likesee, even though I've done a
(28:01):
lot of this work as a single me,you know, eight years, it's
been a long time but I canalready like see, even though
I've done a lot of this work asa single and, you know, I speak
to my clients, things like thatlike it's been really great just
to like actually experience itin real time.
And, yeah, I've really, I'veactually really enjoyed that and
I'm gonna continue to enjoythat, and who knows what's gonna
happen with it as well like,especially with me being being
(28:22):
sober too, like I think there'sa big part of, perhaps, why
we've been brought to togetherto like do work in this space,
which is which is gorgeous.
Um, yeah, so I'm very excitedto see what comes of all of it
in the future.
Um, but, yeah, and I know aswell I just wanted to touch on
(28:42):
with you, ash.
Like when you decided to stayalcohol free at the end of the
chapter.
What did that look like for you?
Like what made you make thatdecision Because it was going to
be up, wasn't it in December,when you turned 40?
Like what actually made youcontinue, do you think?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I mean honestly.
I mean I shared with you theweek before, you know, my
birthday how I was having, youknow, thoughts of you know
drinking again, but, um, there'sjust been so many good things
that have come into my life as aresult of removing alcohol and
um, you know the coaching and um, you know stuff like that, but
(29:21):
it's, it really feels like it'sbecome more of who I am now and
it's, it's, it's just wild, butyou know, changing your
relationship with alcohol is itjust takes time and I feel like
I had enough time to do that andI really just can't imagine
(29:51):
going back to, like, the thoughtof whenever I think about
drinking again, I fast forwardthe tape and I think about
waking up with a hangover and,um, it just doesn't seem worth
it to me anymore.
I have way too many things thathave come into my life and I'm
working on um that are just toogood to you.
You know, risk, risk that withso, and I still don't say, you
(30:12):
know, that I'm removing itforever.
I, you know there may be a timedown the road where I decide to
um, but I just feel like rightnow is it just makes sense for
me and my daughter is eightyears old and, um, there was a,
there was a thing I saw, um, itwas Anne Hathaway and she, she
said, you know, I'm not going todrink anymore and I probably
(30:35):
won't drink for 18 years.
And when I saw that it just youknow, this was a couple of years
ago I just was like, oh my gosh, that just makes so much sense.
Um, because, you know, I reallywant to, I want to show her a
different way of life and lether decide on her own um,
instead of, you know, beingsuper conditioned to, just like,
(30:58):
once you're 21, you drink Um.
So that's also a big part ofwhy I decided to keep going Um,
but yeah, also because I'm juststill doing a lot of work.
I'm still, you know, decided tokeep going um, but yeah, also
because I'm just still doing alot of work, I'm still, you know
, getting in touch with um, my,you know, spirituality and, um,
I still feel like I have somework to do.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
So, yeah, I love you're, just, you know you're.
I think that whole expression,isn't it?
That, um, our soul just cravesgrowth.
That's essentially what I said.
A soul came here to do and Ithink that it is continuous
evolution, without alcohol, infavor of that, and I, for me,
(31:44):
it's.
I think it's that I value myintuition and that connection
like far, far, far too much now.
And I think as well, like Idon't know about you, but I do
believe that I've completelyrewired those pathways now, like
to the point, because it wasn'talways that way, like it took a
(32:05):
while, like I remember beingout sometimes and, like you know
, thinking about drinking andstuff like that, whereas like
genuinely now, like it itdoesn't even, it's not a thing
for me, like I can't actuallyimagine drinking wine at a bar
anymore and certainly neverneeding it, and obviously doing
all the things I have without it.
It's like I feel so free,having got to that point that
(32:28):
just kind of doesn't really makeany sense because, yeah, I'm
just able to enjoy everythingand be so much more present and
so much more connected and yeah,I'm like why, why would I go
back now?
And it.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I feel like it does get to that point for everyone,
but obviously it can be a littlebit difficult in the middle
yeah, and that was, you know,when I was like I'm gonna do the
year and I watched you and thenyou did yours and then you kept
going.
I I knew deep down that that'sprobably what I would end up
doing.
And it's like, yeah, I look atmy life now I'm I'm a freaking
(33:03):
morning person now like I neverthought I would be.
I remember when it was like ourone of our first sessions
together and you were like, whatis your morning routine?
And I'm like, are you kiddingme?
I, I get up and wake mydaughter up and we're it's chaos
until we get out the door.
And now I wake up two hoursbefore her.
You know I come in here, I dolike a meditation and I journal
(33:25):
and I do some work and I havethose hours to myself.
So it's like I completely it'schanged so many other areas of
my life, like my fitness.
Now I'm focusing on buildingmuscle and changing my body and
just so many other things.
The friendships, theconnections, you know, the
(33:47):
coaching.
I think me and you had aconversation where we were like
it was back in December and I'mlike there's no going back now
that we're coaches.
That's one way to ensure youknow, but no, I really truly
just love the work that I'mdoing and I get emotional over
(34:08):
it and, um, you know the peoplethat have you know that I'm
meeting and connecting with.
It's just it's been like tootoo beautiful of a thing to you
know.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Go back now yeah, that's beautiful, ash.
I remember one of our veryfirst sessions and we were
talking and you and you weresharing about how much you know
you wanted to be like a light inthe community and how important
community is for you and likehow much you love bringing women
together and you just had sucha passion for like you know,
(34:40):
just I could just see it so much.
And now to see what you'redoing, it's like this is amazing
.
In such a short space of timeyou're sharing your gifts in
that community and likesupporting everyone in the way
that you are, and it's like itwas what you're always meant to
do.
And it just aligned so wellwith what I say about removing
alcohol.
We're all guided to do it for ahigher reason.
(35:00):
I truly, truly believe that andyou know you listen to that
guidance.
You listen to those nudgesyou've.
You've kept taking action, evenwhen it's been like super,
super scary, but you've keptmoving forward and I just see
you like glowing and just lovingthe work you're doing and it's
beautiful.
I'm so proud of you.
I adore you.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Thank you so much.
I adore you.
That was so sweet.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
And it brought us together too right.
And, yeah, fun, fun facts aswell.
I think it was.
Actually we were seeing thesame numbers and stuff.
I think, weren't we at onepoint, like you, were seeing 22
and I started to see it, andthere was just all these
synchronicities that wereunfolding as we were working
together.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
It was wild.
Oh yeah, it was crazy.
I was.
I remember it was like thefirst month and I went to Vegas
with my girlfriends and the twoswere everywhere Checking into
the hotel.
The bill was 222.
My room number was 222.
And I had always been drawn totwos because my birthday is the
22nd.
And then, after you know, Ilearned about angel numbers and
(36:03):
what all of that meant andstarted seeing them.
And I started seeing thenumbers again this year in
January and it just all feltlike it was all happening again.
But yeah, and I to go back tothe morning thing, because I I
forgot I wanted to mention this,but you know, I remember you
(36:23):
were like, well, just lay inyour bed and put your hand on
your heart and just say thankyou for another day, and that's
how we started.
And it was just, you know, thesmallest little step.
And then from there it was likeme getting up like 10 minutes
early and then doing that.
So it's like I mean, it's alljust been these tiny little
micro, you know, changes inhabits that I've gotten to.
(36:46):
Now, me, you know, having thislike completely different day
than I used to have a year ago.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah, that's so great that you pointed that out,
because it really is that and Ithink you know it allows us to
be so much more consistent,doesn't it, with those things,
when we haven't got a battlewith hangovers and the
interruption of alcohol and justthe compound effect that it has
, like your yeah your testamentto all of that.
So thank you, ash, and is thereanything on your heart that you
(37:18):
want to share with the sobercommunity, or anyone that's
sober, curious?
Thinking about going down thispath or anything that comes to
mind before we finish today?
Thinking about going down thispath or anything that?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
comes to mind before we finished this um, I think
what I, what I would really liketo share, because when you're
on an alcohol-free journey, itcan feel so lonely, it can feel
so isolating and it can bereally hard to make it stick and
make it work unless you have acommunity of people who are
like-minded and on the samejourney as you.
(37:49):
So I highly recommend, you know, seeking out a community of.
You know there's there's lotsof different ways to do that Um,
and there's no one right way.
It's whatever way that youchoose.
Um, you know your recoveryjourney is whatever that means
to you.
(38:09):
It's your definition of it.
But I do feel like the communitypiece of it is so important and
it's what makes the lastingchange.
And so if you are, you know,seeking that community out,
reach out to me.
You know you can.
You can email me.
It's just Ashley, with two E'sat heartofwellnesscom um, and I
(38:30):
can help you.
You know, find a community.
Or you know we have ourcommunity um, it's, it's very
easy to join.
It's online, um, but yeah, Ithink that's probably, you know,
the main thing, um, and justalso, um, you know, have
compassion for yourself ifyou're on this journey.
It's not easy.
It's one of the hardest thingsto do is remove alcohol in.
(38:55):
You know the world that we livein, so, yeah, I think that's it
.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Thanks, ash.
Yeah, it is, and it's you know.
Know it's never linear.
It can be really challenging,but there's always, always
growth and magic on the otherside, and me and ash can
absolutely guarantee you of that.
So keep going or start trying.
Whichever way it is for you,listen to that nudge.
(39:23):
It will definitely lead you tobeautiful things in every area
of life.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Um yeah, yeah, we actually make bracelets.
We make bracelets that say keepgoing, so if you want one, you
can also reach out to me.
Um, my partner ashley, herlittle girl, makes them for
people in our community.
Yeah, it's very cute well.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Thank you, gorgeous.
It's been so good to catch upand, yeah, we'll have to chat
more soon.
And where can everyone find youas well?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
um, so they can follow me on my instagram.
It's uh, actually soul s-o-l.
Underscore beginnings, um.
So I don't know if you want toadd that to your notes, um, so
they can find me there, um, andthen also just through our
website.
It's just wwwheartofwellnesscom.
Um, we have lots of differentprograms on there.
(40:20):
We have a health and nutrition,um, coaching.
We have food planning.
So you know, even if you're onan alcohol-free journey and
you're wanting to, you know,look at your, you know fitness,
you know we have challenges thatwe do, and we also do retreats
as well.
So there's there's lots ofdifferent fun options of things
(40:43):
that we offer.
So you can find me there andthen, you know, just email me
anytime if you want to.
Ashley at heartofwellnesscomamazing.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Well, thank you for coming on and I'll speak to you
soon.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
It's a pleasure, as always, aditi thank you for
listening to today's episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
(41:18):
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on, and if
you send me a screenshot ofthat review to dd at
soberchapterscom, I will put youinto the mix of winning a free
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If you would like to learn moreabout sober chapters and to
(41:39):
follow along on instagram it'ssober underscore chapters you'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one on one coaching
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
(42:01):
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
(42:23):
I can.
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel.
I'm so grateful that you'rehere.
(01:10):
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast, and
today I've got the very specialAshley Roberts back on.
She was with me in the veryearly days of starting this.
She was initially a one-on-oneclient and she is now very much
a soul sister of mine.
She lives over in Utah.
I've been able to go over andvisit her and we have the most
special connection.
It's been beautiful and she'sgone on to do some incredible
(01:30):
things since she started her ownSober chapter, which I'll let
her tell you all about, and sheis also now in the Sober
coaching space, which is justamazing.
So we thought it was about timewe had a little catch-up.
So welcome Ashley, so good tosee you again yeah, thank you
for having me back.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
This is so, so fun and I feel like I'm going to be
a lot more relaxed than I wasduring that first podcast.
I actually went back andre-listened to that today and I
was just like thinking, wow, howmuch I've just changed in this
last year.
Um, just so much more confidentand you know, sharing my story.
(02:12):
So, yeah, thank you for havingme back.
I've got my sparkling water andmy wine glass as a celebration
me too.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
I've literally got my San Pellegrini and my wine
glass just for you because we'vebonded over many of these.
So for anyone listening, ourgo-to drink that's really helped
us in sobriety is sparklingwater in a wine glass with ice
and lemon, and it has literallygot me through so many of those
initial events and it's now mygo-to drink, and I think you're
(02:43):
pretty similar with that Ash onyou as well yeah, I am.
Speaker 2 (02:46):
I feel like it's kind of become your trademark, but
yeah, I kind of stole it fromyou.
So it's, it's just a a fun wayto still be fancy and you know,
I I loved it's like keeping yourwine glass and, you know,
having your own rules with it.
So, so, so, yeah, yeah, I'mjust excited to be here with you
and, um, you know your triphere to Utah.
(03:08):
I felt like it just felt socomfortable.
I mean, I know that we'dalready been coaching together,
but something that I have found,you know, during my
alcohol-free journey is thatmeeting people who are also on
an alcohol-free journey justfeel this instant connection
with people.
And you know the friendshipsthat I have made on this journey
(03:29):
.
I just they mean so much to meand you know, when you came here
, it was just so magical and,you know, special.
So I hope we can connect soon,you know, in the near future,
and see each other again.
Speaker 1 (03:46):
Yeah, I know, I feel exactly the same, ash, like it
was absolutely beautiful.
I think I even did a couple ofpodcasts from where you are now
as well.
When I was there and just somuch happened, I felt like we
were just both so like in flowand just seeing all the signs
and just all that gorgeous stuffthat we've connected on you
know over, I guess what is itnow?
(04:07):
It's like how long have youbeen alcohol free?
It was December 2023 for youright?
Speaker 2 (04:15):
yeah, so December it was on my birthday.
December 22nd was my 39thbirthday, because I decided to
go alcohol free um for the lastyear of my 30s and looked at it
as a, you know, sober chapter,which I was really drawn to when
I started following yourInstagram.
I really liked that you usedthe term sober chapter, because
(04:40):
when I thought about removingalcohol, the thought of removing
it forever felt really scaryand impossible and so, um, so,
yeah, that's that's the way thatI did it.
So today I'm I'm 438 days um ofbeing on my alcohol free
journey.
Um, I will say that, you know,during that time, there have
(05:00):
been a couple of times that Idid take a little sip out of my
husband's drink, and I sharethat because you know I did it
as sort of like a curiosity tosee.
Is this going to make me want myown glass, you know, of wine,
is going to make me want my owncocktail, and you know, it sort
(05:21):
of felt like, you know, runninginto a familiar friend that you
used to hang out with and youknow it's like they're familiar
to you, but you kind of go, oh,I remember why we stopped
hanging out, like there'snothing that we have in common
anymore is kind of what it feltlike.
But, yeah, I share that too,because I feel like, you know,
(05:42):
in doing that, I still, you know, kept I didn't go back and
reset my days when I did thattoo, because I feel like, um,
you know, in doing that, I still, you know, kept I didn't go
back and reset my days when Idid that, um, and I looked at it
as kind of like research to seeyou know what would happen.
And I feel like a lot of peoplethat are on alcohol-free
journeys, um, they'll have dayswhere they they want to, you
(06:02):
know, have a drink and see whathappens, or they have a they
call it a slip up and um, andthen they really beat themselves
up and just feel like they haveto, you know, start all over
and start it.
You know, day zero again, and Ijust don't think that that's
the case.
I feel like, you know, whenyou're on this journey, you get
to make up the rules and you getto say what your recovery looks
(06:26):
like and and so, yeah, so Ican't say that I totally didn't
have any alcohol during the lastfour hundred thirty eight days,
but definitely never been drunkand didn't have any hangovers.
Speaker 1 (06:39):
So yeah, yeah, you've done.
You've done amazing.
It's been so incredible to towatch it all unfold and, yeah, I
think you know, going back towhat you just said, like there,
you know that I think there canbe sometimes a lot of pressure
and a lot of stigma and a lot ofdifferent like ways of doing
things, and I think really, weall do have to just tune into
(07:01):
ourselves and our own kind ofunique path to sobriety whatever
that looks like so I loveourselves and our own kind of
unique path to surprise eat,whatever that looks like.
So I love that.
You have that kind of approachand mindset around it and I'd
love to know as well, becauseyou're doing so much now with
that kind of sober coaching inthe community that you're in.
I'd love to hear and for you toshare more about what you've
been doing and what you've beenlearning and like where you're
at with all of that as well, andwhat you've experienced.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yeah, yeah, I'd love to share.
So I completed the Euphoric AFprogram like you did.
That was back in last September.
And then I actually connectedwith a woman here in Utah.
Her name is Cheyenne and sheowns a company that's called
Heart of Wellness and she has apartner whose name is also
(07:44):
Ashley.
So I partnered with the two ofthem and they already had a
sober support group up andrunning.
It's an online group coaching,and so we've been growing that
together.
So, let's see, I started upwith them in December of last
year and so I've been workingwith them for the last couple of
(08:08):
months and helping them runtheir silver support group.
We do two online calls a weekMondays and Thursday nights and
we've got about 50 members inthat program right now and it's
been amazing we're seeing somany people hitting huge
milestones.
It's been amazing we're seeingso many people hitting huge
milestones.
We had a woman this week sharethat she just hit 50 days of
(08:30):
being alcohol free, and so it'sbeen a lot of fun.
We have a private Facebookgroup where everybody can go and
just motivate each other,support each other.
When they're having hard,challenging days.
We try to keep interestingtopics for them every week when
we jump on our zoom calls, werun them like sort of like an
(08:50):
open table where we just ask ageneral question and then we go
around to the whole group sothat they each get to share if
they feel comfortable sharing.
But yeah, it's been reallygreat.
And and then, apart from that,I have a couple people that I'm
also coaching, just you know,one on one, um, which I also
really really enjoy doing, so,yeah, yeah, it's awesome, it's.
Speaker 1 (09:14):
I just yeah, I love how much you've done in such a
short space of time and you thatyou mentioned at the beginning
of this, like how much yourconfidence has grown, which is
something that I think about allthe time when I see, like
building that you know, genuine,true, authentic confidence,
because you know we don't havethe comfort blanket or the false
(09:34):
comfort blanket of the alcoholanymore.
And I guess, like what, what'sbeen your experience with that?
Like how, how do you feel thatthat has helped you?
Like what have you seen happenwhen it's come to your
confidence, like the biggestchanges, would you say, like
over the last 400 and howevermany days it's been?
Speaker 2 (09:55):
I mean, I would say I was thinking about this today
actually because I saw a post onInstagram and it just it got me
really thinking.
But I was carrying this versionof myself that was, there was a
part of me that was still this15 year old girl that started
drinking and was drinking to fitin, drinking to feel like she
(10:18):
belonged.
I was carrying part of her withme still and since removing
alcohol, I feel like gainingthat inner confidence and this
sense of like I belong here, Ibelong in the room, feeling more
comfortable in my skin.
You know, going through all ofthose things in the last year
(10:40):
vacations, birthdays, you know,special events and things like
that gave me this.
It's, it's just this empoweringfeeling that if I can do this,
you know what else can I do?
And I didn't feel like I hadthat before.
And you know, your stuff onInstagram really resonated with
(11:01):
me when I started my journey,because there was this part of
me that felt stuck and it feltlike alcohol was that missing.
That was that piece that Ineeded to remove or change about
my life.
That was going to help me to,you know, catapult me in this
direction that I wanted to go inand I'm not going to lie, it's
(11:21):
been scary.
It's been scary as hell attimes, like changes and putting
yourself out there and puttingyourself online and your story,
and you know there's there'slike a marketing of it too when
you get into the coaching world.
That's, you know the piece ofit that you don't really realize
, and so I've had to really likework through a lot of my own
(11:46):
limiting beliefs in that and so,yeah, I feel like alcohol was
the magic key.
I don't know, it's hard toexplain.
Speaker 1 (11:58):
Well, I think, yeah, thank you.
I think the biggest thing thatI mean I talk about it all the
time about it being so much morethan just removing alcohol, but
I think anyone that's into kindof any form of like personal or
spiritual growth, right, it'staking the alcohol away like
just every day, like everydaythings, that you don't even
(12:19):
realize that you were maskingstuff with alcohol, with like
taking that out of the equation.
It just it's like growth, likean acceleration of growth every
single day with everything thatyou do, isn't it?
And I think that's you know,probably, why we came into each
other's worlds, because you were, you know, on that path as well
.
And it's just, it is such anaccelerator and you don't even
(12:39):
realize it.
Even like the social drinkingelement I get so many people say
to me oh, I'm just a socialdrinker.
It's like, yeah, but imaginelike the amount of situations
where you're having alcoholnaturally, like when you take it
away, you feel all thesetriggers that you get to then
work through that you wouldnever have known about if you
were just still having the drink.
So you're literally taking yourcomfort blanket away and you're
(12:59):
being like you say it's not.
It can be really uncomfortableto start with, but it does.
You end up facing so many fears, like all the time, and it has
just such a knock-on effect andit compounds so much over time.
And to think that you've done400 or something days now
without a drop of alcohol.
I know you mentioned the taste,but to me it doesn't really.
(13:20):
You know it's not a thing right,because it's not actually like
impacted an event or anythinglike that, but you've done all
of that, had that compound, likeeffective building and knowing
where you're.
You know, knowing where you're,perhaps like struggling with
things that you didn't knowabout before and being able to
really shine a light on that and, you know, do the work to move
forwards with it.
And it's, it's.
(13:40):
There's so many elements to itas well, isn't it?
From, like you know, healingour nervous system point of view
, like continuing to take thosebaby steps in the direction of
your fears, and, yeah, so it's,it's huge.
Speaker 2 (13:53):
Yeah, it is.
And you know you talk a lotabout ego and how the ego comes
into play with a lot of thiswork, and you're right, it is.
It's like hold on tight becauseyour growth is going to
accelerate in ways that younever thought possible.
(14:13):
But one thing that I did startnoticing was and it was
interesting because it was likea week before my silver chapter
was supposed to be over, so itwas a week before my birthday
and I think I reached out to youand I said, oh, my gosh, it's
happening, because my egostarted saying stuff like, oh,
(14:35):
you've, you've already provenyour point, like you've
basically made it a year, youknow, just, you're fine, you
should just go back to drinking.
You didn't really have aproblem anyway.
Year you know just, you're fine, you should just go back to
drinking.
You didn't really have aproblem anyway.
And you know, and it plays thesemind tricks on you and, and so
I think you get better atrecognizing your ego and
recognizing, become more awareof your thoughts and learning to
(15:01):
sit with them and, just, youknow, learning to like, love and
accept yourself more.
And you know having days I meanthere's there's there's hard
days in in this type of ajourney and, um, you know,
learning to sit with it and askfor help too, ask for help from
(15:26):
a higher power, and that wasreally something that I was
drawn to was getting more intouch with my spirituality, and
I just felt like when I wasdrinking, it wasn't possible.
I had a hard time tapping into,you know, my own intuition.
Speaker 1 (15:44):
Yeah, you can bring all of that up like a matter
very close to both of our hearts.
Right, the spiritual side.
I think it's just a huge, ahuge, huge, huge reason.
I think I think probably thereason why I removed alcohol.
To be honest, like the guidance, like all the breaks that I had
(16:05):
taken for years and howconnected I felt in that time
and then every time I went backto drinking like it just blocked
it.
And I think, yeah, I love thatyou bring up the awareness,
because the ego is really,really sneaky and you know, when
you are drinking it's reallyhard to differentiate between
that you critical, false selfimposter syndrome, the ego,
(16:25):
whatever you want to call it,and it's it can pull you into
believing it's lies if youaren't aware of the difference.
Right, and I think the longerthat you stay alcohol free, the
more connected and in tune withyour higher self you become and
the easier it is not to fallinto the lies of the ego.
And so, yeah, you say like, sitand recognize, you know, sit
(16:48):
with those emotions as well andnot fall into the emotions that
those thoughts bring.
Because that's huge and it'sjust being able to create a
separation between those two andjust connect so much deeper
with that highest version of us.
And I think you know I've seensome beautiful posts of yours
lately around being able to dropin more to, or connect more to,
(17:09):
your feminine energy, and Ithink that that's a huge, huge
gift.
One of the biggest gifts thatbeing alcohol free has given me
is I didn't actually realizequite how in my head and in my
masculine energy I was before,because I've always been a bit
girly and everything like that,so I didn't really, you know,
think about it.
But I look back now and evenlooking at old photos, and it's
(17:30):
like, wow, I was so much more inmy head so much more in fear so
much more, trying to control,like I didn't really know how to
like trust and surrender anddrop into my heart in the same
way, and that that's beenbeautiful, and I've witnessed
all of that in you too, and Iknow it was something that was
really important to you, wasn'tit?
Speaker 2 (17:48):
Yeah, yeah, 100%.
I felt like, you know, and thatwas also something that I would
use alcohol for, you know, tomake me feel a little bit more
sexy, or I just wasn'tcomfortable that way, and so
it's been really fun to toinvite, play in and to, you know
(18:09):
, go out in my backyard anddance Like I.
I literally just want to be,you know, out in nature all the
time now and, um, yeah,connecting with that feminine
side of me more.
It's something I'm stillworking on, you know, and, um,
it's cool because I'm, there'sthings popping up all over the
place and I've gone to a fewevents where, um, you know, it's
(18:33):
just a lot of women gettingtogether and doing, you know,
dancing together, and there's noalcohol involved, and it's
beautiful.
I love, I love, um, that partof it for sure.
I think that it's, it'simportant and I think a lot more
people are becoming more awareof what this masculine and
(18:53):
feminine energy means as acollective.
Speaker 1 (18:57):
You know, I think people are are just definitely
waking up to, um, you know, theenergies of that yeah, it's all
just so intrinsically linkedwhen you think about it, because
, you know, when we're in ourhearts rather than our heads,
we're in our true nature, whichis our, you know our feminine,
(19:18):
and you know that's just so mucheasier to do without alcohol in
the mix, because it's againlike we're connected deeply to
our bodies and to our hearts andI was like completely
disconnected, I didn't, I didn'tknow that, like I didn't know
anything about it.
But it makes sense, becausewhen we're actually drinking,
we're disconnected to our bodiesbecause we're numb, essentially
(19:41):
, and then you know, the nextday we're naturally in our heads
because of all the anxiety andeverything and all the you know.
So it's like a constant shutoff from being in our hearts and
our bodies, and so I just thinkit's such a huge gift of
sobriety and it even comes backto, you know, the whole piece
around authenticity being.
(20:02):
You know, the highest vibration, for example.
And again, it's like alcoholtakes us away from who we truly
are and by removing it we comeback to our hearts, to our true
nature, which is us being asauthentic, you know, as we, as
we possibly can be.
To be honest, like it's it's sointeresting and like obviously,
(20:22):
recently, things have likechanged for me in terms of I
might as well say it now,because I think this is a great
way to say it with you, ash aswell, because I was going to do
a solo episode about it, but inmy last podcast episode I talked
about how there was a guy thatwas coming over and we were just
good friends and I didn't knowhow it was going to go.
And all of this and that triphas happened and he's been over
(20:46):
and for the first time in eightyears, I have a boyfriend and
he's actually moving to Perthand he's amazing.
His name's Pete, he's fromCanada and he's also sober and I
just know there is absolutelyno way.
And this was a big, big part ofwhy I remember alcohol, because
I was stuck in patterns withthe opposite sex, but it's
(21:08):
because I was stuck in mymasculine, in that fear-based
state like attracting I wasbasically acting like a player
out of fear and attracting theplayers and then just like
fulfilling this whole, likeprophecy of not being enough and
all the things.
And a big part of removingalcohol has been coming back to
my heart, to my true nature andlearning those patterns,
(21:28):
stepping out of them coming backto my feminine being, like my
authentic self, and I knowthere's no way that I would have
attracted in this beautiful,healthy, masculine man if I
hadn't done all of this work anddone this.
So there we go.
I didn't know whether it wasgoing to come up today or not,
but it kind of seemed on pointwith what we were chatting about
(21:48):
.
So that's the news, that's theupdate.
I'm very, very happy.
I feel like I should cheersagain, and I love it because
when I went over to stay withAshley in Utah, I had just come
from LA, from the Lewis Howesevent, and I had been seeing all
this guidance, all these signs,more than I ever usually do,
(22:10):
actually, and Ashley knows allabout that.
And that was where I actuallymet.
Pete was at the Lewis Howesevent, but we were just friends
initially.
But, yeah, I kind of like feltlike something was hugely
changing in my life.
I think you probably rememberall of that, don't you Ash?
Speaker 2 (22:26):
Oh yeah, yeah, I was watching all of it and seeing
all of seeing all the signs thatyou were seeing and it was, it
was magical and I'm notsurprised.
Yes, cats out of the bag.
Everyone that follows you, thatknows your story, um is going
to be just so thrilled for you,just like I am.
(22:47):
I'm so happy for you.
You deserve it, and you saidsomething, um, you know, in all
of that is just and it's it's abig part of um.
This journey is, you know, notfeeling like you're enough, not
being enough, and I think somany people struggle with that
um, that piece and um, and sothe work you get to do after you
(23:11):
remove alcohol is getting to aplace where you do feel like
you're enough, getting more intouch with what your values are,
um, getting more in touch withwho you truly are, um as a whole
, as a person, um, and it'sbeautiful and our relationships
are important in our lives.
And you know um, my husband,jeremy, still drinks and we've
(23:35):
had to work through that.
Um, there's been times thatwere really hard, um, and
uncomfortable and weird, and youknow, we just I've had to
really open my heart and justfind ways that we can connect
that don't include alcohol.
We've had to get reallycreative with it, but I honor
(23:57):
and respect that.
His journey is his journey andmine is my journey and I truly,
I, I truly feel and believe thatwe can, you know, walk side by
side in this and still supporteach other, even though our
journeys look different.
Um, you know, we can always hopethat we can influence, you know
, our partner, but, um, you know, it's it's also beautiful to
(24:20):
just love the person you're withfor who they are.
You know, and I listened toyour podcast that you did with
Danny and she talked a littlebit about that and I just, I
love what she said about, youknow, keeping her heart open and
you know, you know keeping herheart open and, um, you know,
(24:45):
just loving her husband anywayand changing her mindset with it
.
You know, instead of, you know,wanting him to do, to remove
alcohol with her, you know, shejust completely changed her
mindset to um, you know, I'mjust going to love, love him,
and I'm just going to do, do mything over here, and that's kind
of what I've done do my thingover here and that's kind of
what I've done.
Speaker 1 (25:08):
So, yeah, I love that and I think you know everyone
yeah, everyone's on their ownunique path in this lifetime,
right, you know, and I think youknow a big thing that comes up
in a practice that I use formyself and I speak to clients
about it and my coaches remindme of it and it's like what part
part of, like what part ofsomebody do?
you want to have a relationshipwith.
Do you want to have a part, arelationship with, like their
ego and their head and theirpatterns, or do you want to have
(25:29):
a relationship with their heartand their divine?
And it's kind of like focusingon your heart, to their heart
and that divine part of themthat you adore and it's
unconditional love, isn't it?
And that's like the beautifulchoice that you get to make, and
I think that, at the end of theday, you're alcohol free, so
you're able to constantly bringyourself back to that place and
remind yourself that it's yourheart and his heart and that's
(25:51):
all that.
Speaker 2 (25:52):
All that math is yeah , yeah, and in doing that, I
mean I feel like he definitelydrinks a lot less than he used
to, um, and it and it doesn't.
You know, he has a verydifferent relationship with with
alcohol than I did.
He doesn't get that same guiltor shame um, you know that I was
the guilt of, you know, tryingto be a mother to my daughter
(26:15):
the next day.
You know, it doesn't seem toaffect um, him and probably most
men, you know as much as as Ithink it does women, um, and our
bodies are just different thantheirs too.
You know, I just think weprocess alcohol differently than
they do.
But, yeah, I feel like it'sreally forced us to find deeper
(26:37):
ways that we can connect witheach other.
And you know, we've done alittle bit of the, the
relationship warrior code stuffthat you, um, you know that you
do in Australia and we did likeone of their week uh long
challenges while we were on atrip in Mexico and it was really
fun to just wake up togetherand, um, he didn't really drink
much while we were on that trip.
So we were, you know, kind ofgoing to bed early and waking up
(26:59):
in the morning and, um, youknow, doing a little assignment
and, um, we it just it's.
It's felt like, um, this yearof our marriage has, um, I don't
know how to even explain it.
It's just as as challenging andas hard as it was for me to
(27:20):
change, you know, myrelationship with alcohol.
I felt like it was needed.
I feel like it kind of shined alight on some areas of our
relationship that we need towork on and some loops that
would keep coming up, and it'sjust going to make our marriage
that much stronger.
Speaker 1 (27:40):
Yeah, definitely, of course, it will, absolutely, and
that's what it's all about,isn't it?
You know, it's that continuousgrowth that comes from being a
relationship which I'm now ableto actually, you know, do in
real time, because, you know,it's kind of cool, because it's
been a long time for me, youknow, eight years, it's been a
long time but I can already likesee, even though I've done a
(28:01):
lot of this work as a single me,you know, eight years, it's
been a long time but I canalready like see, even though
I've done a lot of this work asa single and, you know, I speak
to my clients, things like thatlike it's been really great just
to like actually experience itin real time.
And, yeah, I've really, I'veactually really enjoyed that and
I'm gonna continue to enjoythat, and who knows what's gonna
happen with it as well like,especially with me being being
(28:22):
sober too, like I think there'sa big part of, perhaps, why
we've been brought to togetherto like do work in this space,
which is which is gorgeous.
Um, yeah, so I'm very excitedto see what comes of all of it
in the future.
Um, but, yeah, and I know aswell I just wanted to touch on
(28:42):
with you, ash.
Like when you decided to stayalcohol free at the end of the
chapter.
What did that look like for you?
Like what made you make thatdecision Because it was going to
be up, wasn't it in December,when you turned 40?
Like what actually made youcontinue, do you think?
Speaker 2 (28:59):
I mean honestly.
I mean I shared with you theweek before, you know, my
birthday how I was having, youknow, thoughts of you know
drinking again, but, um, there'sjust been so many good things
that have come into my life as aresult of removing alcohol and
um, you know the coaching and um, you know stuff like that, but
(29:21):
it's, it really feels like it'sbecome more of who I am now and
it's, it's, it's just wild, butyou know, changing your
relationship with alcohol is itjust takes time and I feel like
I had enough time to do that andI really just can't imagine
(29:51):
going back to, like, the thoughtof whenever I think about
drinking again, I fast forwardthe tape and I think about
waking up with a hangover and,um, it just doesn't seem worth
it to me anymore.
I have way too many things thathave come into my life and I'm
working on um that are just toogood to you.
You know, risk, risk that withso, and I still don't say, you
(30:12):
know, that I'm removing itforever.
I, you know there may be a timedown the road where I decide to
um, but I just feel like rightnow is it just makes sense for
me and my daughter is eightyears old and, um, there was a,
there was a thing I saw, um, itwas Anne Hathaway and she, she
said, you know, I'm not going todrink anymore and I probably
(30:35):
won't drink for 18 years.
And when I saw that it just youknow, this was a couple of years
ago I just was like, oh my gosh, that just makes so much sense.
Um, because, you know, I reallywant to, I want to show her a
different way of life and lether decide on her own um,
instead of, you know, beingsuper conditioned to, just like,
(30:58):
once you're 21, you drink Um.
So that's also a big part ofwhy I decided to keep going Um,
but yeah, also because I'm juststill doing a lot of work.
I'm still, you know, decided tokeep going um, but yeah, also
because I'm just still doing alot of work, I'm still, you know
, getting in touch with um, my,you know, spirituality and, um,
I still feel like I have somework to do.
Speaker 1 (31:19):
So, yeah, I love you're, just, you know you're.
I think that whole expression,isn't it?
That, um, our soul just cravesgrowth.
That's essentially what I said.
A soul came here to do and Ithink that it is continuous
evolution, without alcohol, infavor of that, and I, for me,
(31:44):
it's.
I think it's that I value myintuition and that connection
like far, far, far too much now.
And I think as well, like Idon't know about you, but I do
believe that I've completelyrewired those pathways now, like
to the point, because it wasn'talways that way, like it took a
(32:05):
while, like I remember beingout sometimes and, like you know
, thinking about drinking andstuff like that, whereas like
genuinely now, like it itdoesn't even, it's not a thing
for me, like I can't actuallyimagine drinking wine at a bar
anymore and certainly neverneeding it, and obviously doing
all the things I have without it.
It's like I feel so free,having got to that point that
(32:28):
just kind of doesn't really makeany sense because, yeah, I'm
just able to enjoy everythingand be so much more present and
so much more connected and yeah,I'm like why, why would I go
back now?
And it.
Speaker 2 (32:41):
I feel like it does get to that point for everyone,
but obviously it can be a littlebit difficult in the middle
yeah, and that was, you know,when I was like I'm gonna do the
year and I watched you and thenyou did yours and then you kept
going.
I I knew deep down that that'sprobably what I would end up
doing.
And it's like, yeah, I look atmy life now I'm I'm a freaking
(33:03):
morning person now like I neverthought I would be.
I remember when it was like ourone of our first sessions
together and you were like, whatis your morning routine?
And I'm like, are you kiddingme?
I, I get up and wake mydaughter up and we're it's chaos
until we get out the door.
And now I wake up two hoursbefore her.
You know I come in here, I dolike a meditation and I journal
(33:25):
and I do some work and I havethose hours to myself.
So it's like I completely it'schanged so many other areas of
my life, like my fitness.
Now I'm focusing on buildingmuscle and changing my body and
just so many other things.
The friendships, theconnections, you know, the
(33:47):
coaching.
I think me and you had aconversation where we were like
it was back in December and I'mlike there's no going back now
that we're coaches.
That's one way to ensure youknow, but no, I really truly
just love the work that I'mdoing and I get emotional over
(34:08):
it and, um, you know the peoplethat have you know that I'm
meeting and connecting with.
It's just it's been like tootoo beautiful of a thing to you
know.
Speaker 1 (34:19):
Go back now yeah, that's beautiful, ash.
I remember one of our veryfirst sessions and we were
talking and you and you weresharing about how much you know
you wanted to be like a light inthe community and how important
community is for you and likehow much you love bringing women
together and you just had sucha passion for like you know,
(34:40):
just I could just see it so much.
And now to see what you'redoing, it's like this is amazing
.
In such a short space of timeyou're sharing your gifts in
that community and likesupporting everyone in the way
that you are, and it's like itwas what you're always meant to
do.
And it just aligned so wellwith what I say about removing
alcohol.
We're all guided to do it for ahigher reason.
(35:00):
I truly, truly believe that andyou know you listen to that
guidance.
You listen to those nudgesyou've.
You've kept taking action, evenwhen it's been like super,
super scary, but you've keptmoving forward and I just see
you like glowing and just lovingthe work you're doing and it's
beautiful.
I'm so proud of you.
I adore you.
Speaker 2 (35:19):
Thank you so much.
I adore you.
That was so sweet.
Speaker 1 (35:23):
And it brought us together too right.
And, yeah, fun, fun facts aswell.
I think it was.
Actually we were seeing thesame numbers and stuff.
I think, weren't we at onepoint, like you, were seeing 22
and I started to see it, andthere was just all these
synchronicities that wereunfolding as we were working
together.
Speaker 2 (35:39):
It was wild.
Oh yeah, it was crazy.
I was.
I remember it was like thefirst month and I went to Vegas
with my girlfriends and the twoswere everywhere Checking into
the hotel.
The bill was 222.
My room number was 222.
And I had always been drawn totwos because my birthday is the
22nd.
And then, after you know, Ilearned about angel numbers and
(36:03):
what all of that meant andstarted seeing them.
And I started seeing thenumbers again this year in
January and it just all feltlike it was all happening again.
But yeah, and I to go back tothe morning thing, because I I
forgot I wanted to mention this,but you know, I remember you
(36:23):
were like, well, just lay inyour bed and put your hand on
your heart and just say thankyou for another day, and that's
how we started.
And it was just, you know, thesmallest little step.
And then from there it was likeme getting up like 10 minutes
early and then doing that.
So it's like I mean, it's alljust been these tiny little
micro, you know, changes inhabits that I've gotten to.
(36:46):
Now, me, you know, having thislike completely different day
than I used to have a year ago.
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Yeah, that's so great that you pointed that out,
because it really is that and Ithink you know it allows us to
be so much more consistent,doesn't it, with those things,
when we haven't got a battlewith hangovers and the
interruption of alcohol and justthe compound effect that it has
, like your yeah your testamentto all of that.
So thank you, ash, and is thereanything on your heart that you
(37:18):
want to share with the sobercommunity, or anyone that's
sober, curious?
Thinking about going down thispath or anything that comes to
mind before we finish today?
Thinking about going down thispath or anything that?
Speaker 2 (37:28):
comes to mind before we finished this um, I think
what I, what I would really liketo share, because when you're
on an alcohol-free journey, itcan feel so lonely, it can feel
so isolating and it can bereally hard to make it stick and
make it work unless you have acommunity of people who are
like-minded and on the samejourney as you.
(37:49):
So I highly recommend, you know, seeking out a community of.
You know there's there's lotsof different ways to do that Um,
and there's no one right way.
It's whatever way that youchoose.
Um, you know your recoveryjourney is whatever that means
to you.
(38:09):
It's your definition of it.
But I do feel like the communitypiece of it is so important and
it's what makes the lastingchange.
And so if you are, you know,seeking that community out,
reach out to me.
You know you can.
You can email me.
It's just Ashley, with two E'sat heartofwellnesscom um, and I
(38:30):
can help you.
You know, find a community.
Or you know we have ourcommunity um, it's, it's very
easy to join.
It's online, um, but yeah, Ithink that's probably, you know,
the main thing, um, and justalso, um, you know, have
compassion for yourself ifyou're on this journey.
It's not easy.
It's one of the hardest thingsto do is remove alcohol in.
(38:55):
You know the world that we livein, so, yeah, I think that's it
.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Thanks, ash.
Yeah, it is, and it's you know.
Know it's never linear.
It can be really challenging,but there's always, always
growth and magic on the otherside, and me and ash can
absolutely guarantee you of that.
So keep going or start trying.
Whichever way it is for you,listen to that nudge.
(39:23):
It will definitely lead you tobeautiful things in every area
of life.
Speaker 2 (39:30):
Um yeah, yeah, we actually make bracelets.
We make bracelets that say keepgoing, so if you want one, you
can also reach out to me.
Um, my partner ashley, herlittle girl, makes them for
people in our community.
Yeah, it's very cute well.
Speaker 1 (39:47):
Thank you, gorgeous.
It's been so good to catch upand, yeah, we'll have to chat
more soon.
And where can everyone find youas well?
Speaker 2 (39:58):
um, so they can follow me on my instagram.
It's uh, actually soul s-o-l.
Underscore beginnings, um.
So I don't know if you want toadd that to your notes, um, so
they can find me there, um, andthen also just through our
website.
It's just wwwheartofwellnesscom.
Um, we have lots of differentprograms on there.
(40:20):
We have a health and nutrition,um, coaching.
We have food planning.
So you know, even if you're onan alcohol-free journey and
you're wanting to, you know,look at your, you know fitness,
you know we have challenges thatwe do, and we also do retreats
as well.
So there's there's lots ofdifferent fun options of things
(40:43):
that we offer.
So you can find me there andthen, you know, just email me
anytime if you want to.
Ashley at heartofwellnesscomamazing.
Speaker 1 (40:54):
Well, thank you for coming on and I'll speak to you
soon.
Speaker 2 (40:57):
Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 1 (40:58):
It's a pleasure, as always, aditi thank you for
listening to today's episode ofthe Sober Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
.
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possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
(41:18):
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If you would like to learn moreabout sober chapters and to
(41:39):
follow along on instagram it'ssober underscore chapters you'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one on one coaching
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
(42:01):
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
(42:23):
I can.
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