What happens when you explore the heart of England—its historic pubs, family homes, and cobblestone streets without a drop of alcohol? In this deeply honest episode, host Didi Jordan is joined by her partner Pete as they travel together through England completely sober.
Together, they share how navigating British pub culture, family reunions, and memories of a difficult past became a powerful journey of connection, clarity, and healing. For Pete, it’s a cultural immersion from Canada into the pub-centric traditions of England; for Didi it’s a return to her roots, facing old wounds and rewriting her story from a grounded, alcohol-free perspective.
The two reflect on what it means to build a romantic relationship without alcohol, how sobriety helps maintain clear emotional boundaries, and how deeply healing it can be to meet your past with presence rather than numbing. With non-alcoholic IPAs on tap and a growing cultural shift toward mindful drinking, they also highlight how sober travel is becoming more accessible than ever.
Whether you’re new to sobriety or already walking your alcohol-free path, this episode offers inspiration for how travel can become a portal for personal growth, spiritual insight, and relationship transformation.
You’ll Hear About:
- How pub culture reflects deep-rooted social structures in the UK
- Introducing a sober partner to a wine-loving parent
- Visiting emotionally charged places from the past, without numbing
- Sobriety’s role in improving relationship communication & polarity
- Building confidence in your alcohol-free identity while traveling
- Tips for starting your sober travel journey gradually and joyfully
Thank you for being here and for being a part of The Sober Chapters Community.
LINKS/RESOURCES
Follow Didi @ sober_chapters on Instagram
Website for more information on Didi and her services/coaching programs available at www.soberchapters.com
FREE GUIDE: 69 Tips, Tricks & Resources to assist you during your own sober chapter available via the link on sober_chapters and via the sober chapters website.
If you enjoyed listening please rate, review and subscribe to enable the messages to be spread as far and wide as possible.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel I'm so grateful that
you're here.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chaps podcast, and
(01:07):
today I'm sitting out on thebalcony in Stratford-upon-Avon.
I'm actually traveling at themoment back home in England and
Pete has come over and joined me.
For anyone who listened to thelast episode, you'll know we
were originally over in theYukon when we did our first
podcast episode and reallyenjoyed doing it and I haven't
(01:30):
had any guests lined up andwe've been traveling and all of
the things and Pete reallykindly said that he would do
another one with me today andit's like there's actually been
so much that's come up for us onthis trip.
So he's come over to meet myparents and meet my family and
friends and it's been a prettybig deal.
And naturally as well it's thefirst time that I've been
(01:52):
alcohol free or sober in arelationship around my parents
in England.
I think it's been quite a newexperience for Pete too.
So we thought we'd do a bit ofa chat today around sober travel
and all of the experiences thatwe've had so far.
So thanks, pete, for comingback on.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Oh, my goodness, thank you.
I was kind of laughing atmyself.
I just jumped out of the showerand I was thinking I feel like
I'm dating a celebrity, I feellike a guest star two in a row
here.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
No, not at all, but thank you because I because I
felt some resistance today Iknew I needed to get a podcast
out on Friday and normally I'mreally organized with having
them ready to go, and so Ireally appreciate you helping me
out and coming on.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah, well, I think it's been pretty amazing the
amount of travel that you'vebeen doing.
You went from the Yukon back toOz for a short period and then
you came up here and then I flewover and we're almost two weeks
that I've been here yeah now.
Yeah, so it's been a lot.
It's been a lot and it's beenreally interesting and real
(02:55):
honor and very special comingover to see and see your whole
childhood, see England.
I've never been to England.
I I had you know I was sharingwith you before.
I had a 18-hour layover inLondon once upon a time, but
getting out to see where yougrew up and the English
countryside.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And the slow pace of it and just the beauty of it,
and go through a lot of journeyswith you while here Meet the
folks, meet so many of yourfriends and family and doing all
of it sober along the way.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
It's been really wild .
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, yeah.
So for context, my family well,you know my dad is a big
drinker.
It's been a big part of,naturally, of English culture,
english english tradition, ourfamily traditions, a lot of my
friends I only have one friendthat doesn't drink, um prue, who
you met, so it's been.
(03:52):
You know, we've been aroundalcohol a lot and just I think
it's been interesting for you ingeneral.
Hasn't it pete like seeing theenglish culture?
Like tell me, tell me aboutthat, because you've, we've been
through a few towns now and afew different areas across the
the midlands, west midlands,warwickshire, we're in
shropshire now.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
So well sorry, stratford now yeah, it's been
really fascinating, likeobviously I kind of nerd out on
the like world war one, worldwar two, history with england
and europe and everything, butit's been really fascinating,
coming from a country where wehave a lot of land and a lot of
(04:31):
natural resources and no people,to a country that has not a lot
of natural resources, not a lotof land and a lot of people.
And you know I kept laughingbecause we went to a few
different places.
Like it's been really supercool seeing like all the
architecture and the recyclingof old timbers and bricks and
(04:54):
you know they a church would get, you know, torn down at some
point or rebuilt and people werelike reusing the stones to
build their homes and everything.
So it's been really fascinating.
But then, like a lot of whatI've really noticed has been the
pub and restaurant and bar kindof culture.
And first off, it's just reallyfunny because like Canada is
(05:19):
like 250 years old and we wentfor a lovely Sunday roast roast
with um, your friendly aunt, andwith your dad the other day to
a place called the elms, which Ithink don't quote me on this,
but I think he said like it wasestablished in like 1641 or
something yeah, it was.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It was in the 1600s.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, in the 1600s yeah like that establishment
alone is like 200 years olderthan my country yeah, wow which
is super fascinating.
But what I've really noticed,though, and even just like kind
of when you were sharing, whenyou showed me, like you know,
your kind of early professionallife in your university years
(06:01):
and everything is like it's just, it's very based on pub culture
, very, very based, and I couldsee it and I think that when we
went out to a place with um,with your friend Anna yeah, um
that was in Somerset it was inSomerset and we drove through a
(06:22):
community and there was a lightbulb moment for me where she
said we drove through thislittle town and she said there's
no pub here, so there's not abig community, like there's not
a lot of community gathering,and I saw it like I can see that
pub culture being so integralto the actual coming together of
(06:44):
the communities in thesedifferent areas and it was
really really fascinating andagain, this is another
mind-blowing thing for me right,like, especially up in the
Yukon, you know you drive sixhours and you don't see another
town, like we drive six hourshere and we've driven through.
I mean geez, we drive 60 minutesand we've driven through six
towns.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right.
Yeah, drive 60 minutes and we'vedriven through six towns.
Yeah, right, yeah, um.
So just seeing, like what'sbeen really resonating for me
out of all of it has been seeingthe, the culture of like
alcohol integration intodifferent places.
And and I'm sharing here fromcoming from the east coast of
canada as well where, where our,our, if you will, was the
(07:28):
kitchen right, like it wasconstant kitchen parties and
like that's where you wouldcongregate with your family and
friends and very, very, very bigalcohol culture back on the
east coast of Canada, and thenI've noticed the shift moving
out to the west coast of Canada,where it isn't as big and
obviously we're going through, Ithink, a bit of an awakening
(07:48):
moment in our society as a whole, where you're seeing alcohol is
becoming less and less of athing, but then coming over here
and seeing how it's been, it'sbeen such a big part of the
culture for such a long time,yeah, it sure has.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, it's huge.
I mean it's huge because it'swhat you can see now, like it's
just such a big, big patternthat I've like broken out of, I
suppose, in terms of it's justeverywhere, like it's everywhere
.
But I love that I I mean thisis for context, this is my I
gave up alcohol July 2022, and Idid that actually back in
(08:30):
England and then I kind of hadthree months here during like my
first wedding, my first, likemy first hens do, like first
bought first summer ball, likeall of those things.
I did that in England and then.
So I had like three months then, and then I came back the
following year and did likeanother, like two, three months
here.
So I think this is like myfourth trip back alcohol free,
(08:54):
um, so I've got used to it.
I still haven't done a Christmashere, which I think will be
interesting, but it's like I'm,you know, around it all the time
.
Like I say, like at the Sundayroast, like my dad will sit
there and well, you've, you'veseen it Like he'll have like a
bottle of champagne, a bottle ofwine, like whilst I'm sitting
there drinking my sparklingwater, and I love it.
I love that I'm able to do thatand for me I feel like it's
(09:14):
yeah, there's not one part of methat regrets that, but it's
been so much that's come upright.
But it has been interestingcoming back and being in a
relationship for the first time,having a boyfriend here for the
first time, alcohol free,because like that's a whole
another association that I wouldhave been used to.
(09:35):
So around my dad and my mumwith a partner we would have all
drank together and I'm reallygrateful that you don't drink.
And it's been amazing havinglike almost like an ally that
doesn't drink.
But it is a different feelingand even having a guy around my
dad who doesn't drink, that's awhole new thing for my dad, like
a whole new thing.
Like it was actually a reallybig challenge, I think, for him
(09:57):
to understand.
He thought I was absolutelybonkers when I gave up alcohol
and I've had to navigate thatover the years and you you know
it's been a bit of work.
There's been some boundariesthat have been put in, but I
think he actually reallyrespects it deep down.
I think his soul respects it.
I think his ego fights itsometimes, but yeah, I think he
does respect it.
And how did it feel for youlike coming into the situation,
(10:17):
knowing that my dad's a bigdrinker, coming into like for
the first time to meet my family, like how was that and how's it
been?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
um, well, to be completely honest, like didn't
really bat an eyelash at it,okay, cool.
Yeah, I really didn't.
Um, I can see how things couldhave been vastly different had
alcohol been involved.
Involved, but you know, I've,I've told you before like I've
got your back first off and thenanybody else after that and
(10:54):
it's just, it's, it's ouridentity, right.
So, like it never even crossedmy mind, I could see how this
trip could have been completelydifferent had alcohol been
involved.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Because, don't get me wrong like there's a piece of
curiosity, as we've been goingaround, like there's all these
incredible like new beers andmicro breweries and every like
pub has their own brew on the go, but I could see how that could
get out of control very quickly.
But to go back to answer yourquestion, like I didn't, um, I
didn't even think about it.
Yeah, I didn't even think aboutit because like it's just, it's
(11:29):
just who you are, it's who I am, it's who we are, and, um, I
wasn't too worried about anyjudgment or hazing or anything
yeah, well, and he's been reallygood, right, like.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So I thought my dad might have played up a little
bit around it, and I didn't knowhow he was gonna take it,
because he would normally, Iguess, for his own probably
unknown social anxiety, he wouldgo straight to offer, like a
new guy in the family, a drink,and that's something that he's
not been able to do this time,but I think that he's been.
Actually, I think it's probablybecause you're so rooted in it
(12:06):
and so, like strong in it, andit goes back to having that
really strong energy around theidentity of being sober and
being proud of it that peopledon't really seem to mess with
that, and I think that he's hadthis like respect for that.
Hasn't he and like made the oddjoke about how, like, the only
thing we've got wrong is beingsober?
yeah, my dad's very cheeky so helike he can't, he can't not do
(12:31):
that, like he wouldn't becapable of it, but yeah, he's,
um, he's definitely respected it.
And I do think because, like Isay, I say to people, because it
takes a while to get really, um, strong in that energy and I
think that the stronger that youget, the less people, the less
people try and twist your arm orchange your mind or, like you
know, veto it or whatever,because they can feel that sense
(12:53):
of strength around thatidentity and and that I think
that comes with being proud ofit and really embodying it,
really embodying being alcoholfree, like people kind of like I
think they can pick up on thatenergy for sure yeah, yeah, yeah
.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I um, I think there was a real, I felt a real strong
respect both ways betweenbetween your father and I.
Yeah, yeah yeah, and just maybe,just while you're chatting
there, I was just of like howimportant it is to get, to have
(13:28):
the support and to be doing ittogether as well.
Like it can be really reallychallenging for somebody trying
to remove alcohol from theirlife and not having a partner
that supports that, so likethose can be very uncomfortable
conversations.
Excuse the sirens in thebackground if that's picking it
up we're out on the balconyright now at our very, very
(13:52):
special little hotel here inStratford.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It's lovely yeah, yeah, um, I think it is.
I think I think we're yeah,we're fortunate that we both
don't drink.
I think it is.
I think we're fortunate that weboth don't drink.
I think it does come up a lot,though, where people do still
have partners that drink, and Ithink you can only really go
(14:14):
down your own path, and often, Ithink, people do follow.
They see how much of a hugeimpact it does have on one
person's life.
But I think you have to likerelease any attachment to that
too, because I do have likequite a few clients who have
given up alcohol and they reallyreally want their partners to,
(14:37):
but it's like they have to kindof like release that expectation
and let people go on their ownjourney.
And often the partner does endup going alcohol-free, like
after a period of time, likeafter they see, but I think that
it's kind of like they have todo it in their own way.
Yeah, don't they?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Well, and I'm just, it's so cool to see the
ripple-out effect, right?
You know, even I woke up to amessage this morning from one of
my clients, after sitting outrunning a call here on this deck
yesterday afternoon before wewent out for our date night, and
the message that he dropped helistened to our, he listened to
your podcast, our episodetogether, our last episode
(15:16):
together.
And I woke up to a message fromhim saying like I'm very sober
curious.
Oh, cool yeah it was super coolLike it was just such a and I
just love seeing that impactoutright.
And I think that I would sayanybody that's struggling in
that realm that they've got apartner who is still drinking if
(15:39):
that's something that you'retrying to remove from your life,
you know, really commend themand congratulate them on any
little progress.
Just remember your own journeythat you've gone through in
removing alcohol or reducingalcohol consumption or
eliminating it altogether and beopen, be vulnerable, be strong
in talking about it with yourpartner and then if you see them
(16:02):
starting to make movement inthat direction, like just tell
them how much that means to youand just recognize like you're
like I'll speak for myself likeI know my journey took, like it
took years to get to that levelof actual elimination and just
being that support andrecognizing like you're having
(16:22):
an impact.
And you know I think we spokeabout this before but in when
you remove that alcohol, quiteoften people might throw a
little sass your way and you canend up taking that personally,
thinking that you're the weirdone or that you're the one with
the problem, but what it is isactually the other person
(16:44):
they're throwing.
they're just projecting theirjudgments of themselves onto you
right in the mirror right yeah,yeah and so, yeah, it's been a
really cool experience comingover and, like I said, I didn't
it didn't really cross my mindand it's been a really
incredible.
I don't know how we would havefit everything in had we been
(17:06):
waking up with hangovers or thathaze or that disconnection from
from ourselves or one another,but I wanted to ask you what's
the experience whole experiencebeen like for you coming over
here?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
yeah.
So I always love coming home,like for me it is home.
Even though I live in Australia, england has, I always say,
like it has my heart and soul,and you know my mum and dad are
here and everything.
Um, and obviously this trip waslike super special because I
have been single for years now,like or not now but was single
for eight years until we met,and so it was, I don't know, I
(17:44):
wasn't nervous about it, I waslike really excited about you
coming over, made it seem extraspecial and like I didn't have
any fear or worries, I did sayto you I think, oh, it'll be
interesting to see what testscome up, because Pete and I seem
to get so many tests that we'reable to work through and
navigate just so well because ofthe fact that we are sober,
like it's been, it's been soamazing for our relationship.
(18:05):
But I kind of said that as likea bit of a joke, not thinking
that it necessarily would happen.
And, oh my goodness, I havebeen tested.
So I often talk about my ego andhow it tries to like pull me
back, like I almost feel likeit's like this darkness that
comes over me or what have you,and I'm just so grateful that I
like have such awareness aroundit.
(18:26):
But it can be really reallysneaky and I'm just going to go
with whatever comes up here,because quite a lot had come up.
But so Pete came in.
He came in pretty hot fromCanada.
I picked him up, he met my mum,he met my dad.
Like it all went like amazing,although I did notice that I was
kind of like I don't, I wasjust like a little bit too
attached to how they felt aboutyou and like kind of felt myself
(18:49):
very much like feeling like, ohGod, I really wanted them to
like you, I really wanted you tolike them, and you know a
little bit in my head about that.
But that was okay.
And then I guess we did a lotof like going down memory lanes.
You know, like I grew up here, Ihad a little bit of a dark time
, to be honest, around myteenage years.
(19:09):
I'm not sure I've even reallyspoken about that, this, that,
that this, that much.
I'm already getting like I'llprobably cry.
So I went to school inWorcester and I guess around
like the age of kind of like 14,15, I kind of feel like I went
from being like a pretty happy,carefree like child or what have
(19:34):
you.
I know teenage years come in,but I definitely changed Like a
lot of things were like changeswere happening at home.
I had big sisters that werequite a lot older than me that
left home, and I really actuallythink that a lot of my missing
connection and seekingconnection outside of the house
came from the fact that mysisters left.
But long story short, I gotinto a fair bit of darkness
(19:58):
really Around the age of 15, Istarted taking drugs.
Fair bit of like darkness,really around the age of 15.
I started taking drugs.
I took my first ecstasy pill at15, which just absolutely blows
my mind now when I think aboutit.
Like it was before my GCSEs,for anyone that's English.
So, like before, like the lastyear of school, and I've sort of
like fallen into like a bit ofa crowd.
I had an older boyfriend thatwas, um, you know, probably a
(20:21):
little bit of a bad influence,and I was at this school as well
and and actually around thattime I also yeah, we're going
down a whole road now, but myone of my best friends died in a
car crash at 16, like myclosest friends, and so it just
escalated, like there was a lotof drug taking, there was a lot
of drug-taking, there was a lotof, yeah, like I say, darkness,
(20:43):
I suppose, and I went into thesixth form college from 16 to 18
at a school and was just sodeeply unhappy and there's so
much more to that story but it'slike really is the darker years
that I can think of and I endedup taking pee on this, like
trip kind of down like memorylane and like drove the roads to
(21:04):
the school where I used to getpicked up and it was wild, like
I had all this darkness comeover me and all this like
horrible energy and, yeah, likea lot of shame, a lot of shame,
a lot of like, um, yeah, like Isay just darkness, and I sort of
like burst into tears and justit was so unexpected and I know
(21:25):
I'm a great believer that ithappened exactly the way that it
was meant to.
It's all part of this healingand of me breaking patterns and
feeling all this discomfort andgoing right through everything.
And poor Pete sat next to meand he was feeling it all.
So we have this wild thingwhere he really feels my energy
and feels anything that I'mgoing through, but I think this
(21:46):
was different, wasn't it?
Like you really felt it thistime and like, how tell, how was
that?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
well it was.
Yeah, there was just something.
There was this we just passedthe horse track and I remember
feeling something like rising upin me and I was like what the
heck, why am I?
Like it almost felt likeanxiety or like an internal pain
.
And then I think we had justrounded that corner and you were
(22:16):
able to point off down the road, like that was the school, and
it took me a few minutes to likerealize, like oh, this isn't
mine.
Like I was like why am Ifeeling anxious or sad, or like
why is there this like internaltension in me right now?
And it was just picking up onon your energy.
And then it was shortly afterthat that you know you, you took
(22:38):
the turn, you parked where yourmom would have parked to pick
you up after school every day,and then you broke down yeah and
then I realized like oh shit,because you weren't like you
went.
You went kind of quiet, like youwere pointing things out.
But yeah um, and then it wasjust the recognition, like oh,
she's going through somethingreally painful right now and
these are things that I thinkthat it was really powerful
(23:02):
because these are things thatyou've shared.
But then to actually be in it,like it triggers all of those
like the sights are there, thesounds are there, the smells are
there, like it's hitting you inall the senses.
It's not you just communicatingit to me like yeah, in another
country or over the phone, butrather being right there and
(23:23):
going through it.
So it was incrediblyuncomfortable.
It was incredibly uncomfortableto and I had huge empathy, for,
you know, I could just reallysee the, the little Didi, like
the little, the young, 15, 16,17, 18 year old Didi.
And then you started to share alot of like what, what it was
(23:45):
like, you know, like yeah, likeyou were really reliving it and
I just had such tremendousempathy for how confused, how
lost, how much pain, how muchpain, how much you know not
really having anyone to guideyou emotionally on what you were
(24:06):
going through Like.
It was a heck of a lot for youto go through during that time
and I'm just incredibly proud ofyou for going through that.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, yeah, and I think that's a really good point
to make, because, as we werethere, like you were like, well,
my default now, whenever I gothrough anything that triggers
me and you're the same anythingemotional, we go for sugar, like
straight for sugar, like ournervous systems are like all
over the place and it's likesugar that we crave, right, and
but thank goodness it's notalcohol, and like you said that
(24:46):
there, and then you're like wewould have easily just gone oh,
let's go get a drink, totally,let's go get a drink and then,
like wouldn't have felt throughit, gone right through it,
talked through it.
Um, yeah, it was reallyuncomfortable, but it's like at
least it was still me.
It was still me that wascommunicating with you.
It was still me aware of who Itruly am and not, yes, my ego
(25:08):
was coming in horribly, but Iwas aware of that and I knew
that it was lies.
Because, again, the context Ihad so many patterns with men
over the years and hence why I'mso grateful that I had eight
years of being single to reallywork on myself and understand
what the hell had been going onand why I was stuck in these
(25:29):
patterns.
Um, and I still feel like I'mlearning about it now in real
time with you, but like thatwould have been a classic case
of like me wanting to runessentially just wanting to run
and I can just see now how I'venot been able to.
Like I found it really easy togive love, like I found it
really easy to chase to givelove, all of those things but I
(25:52):
found it like incredibly hard toreceive and accept it and I
don't think I, like when I waslearning and doing the inner
work, everyone was telling methat was the case.
I was like no, no, I've not hadany issue accepting love.
Like when I was learning anddoing the inner work, everyone
was telling me that was the case.
I was like no, no, I've not hadany issue accepting love.
And now that I'm getting allthis like incredible love from
you, especially in situationslike that, I can see now how
(26:14):
before I would have like shutdown and convinced myself I
didn't want to be with someonelike you, whereas now I'm able
to know that that's just liesand like it's a wobble, and then
there's always just so muchlike growth and coming back
together afterwards.
It's been fascinating, it'sliterally been fascinating, and
you've been incredible throughit, because I think in the past
(26:34):
other guys would have likecompletely wobbled and then and
and there would have beenalcohol involved, right.
So that's where it would havebeen like chaos and something
would have been said or like youknow, I don't know, like we
would have broken up that way orwhatever, or it would have just
got completely brushed underthe carpet and never, never like
talked about, never healed, andit would have risen again at
another time and, you know,broken the connection and you
(26:57):
know all of those things.
But it's, it's, yeah.
I mean, there we go, we'vecovered a lot Classic.
I need to stick to a script, Ithink.
But it's no, it's beenfascinating and breaking
patterns.
Like I always said that Iremoved alcohol firstly to
attract in love, but I guessalso to keep it right, to be
able to keep healthy love,because I can just see so
(27:19):
clearly now how alcohol wouldhave just fueled, fueled my ego,
fueled those patterns and Iwould never.
I always wanted like arelationship to last forever,
like I always had this beautiful, um, fairytale image of getting
married, like I always wantedto get married, but it was like
clear that I was like the onething I wanted.
I was just pushing it away sobadly like I wasn't able to
(27:40):
receive it, and I was justpushing it away so badly like I
wasn't able to receive it and Iwas just sabotaging in so many
ways and I you know we can doother episodes on that because
there's just so many patternsthat'll be interesting but it's
like I really I'm just sograteful.
Grateful for you for cominginto my life and helping me work
through this in real time, butgrateful for the fact that
you're sober, that we're sober,and it's like wow, like it
(28:03):
changes the game completely,like if you can do sobriety and
that inner work which both of usdo which I'm sure anyone
listening is curious about ifyou're not doing it already like
it is a game changer forbreaking patterns and for, yeah,
just being able to really havethe love that you always wanted.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah yeah, yeah and yeah, I was deeply honored again
that I was part of it.
I thought that it wasincredibly courageous of you.
I think that I said you knowyou've done so much work on this
and I thought that it wasincredibly courageous of you.
I think that I said you knowyou've done so much work on this
(28:45):
and I know that your ego wasbeing pretty vicious on you at
the time and you know you wereeven questioning, like you were
like how?
Like is there something wrongwith me?
Like I've done so much work onthis, me, like I've done so much
(29:07):
work on this and I think thatyou've done yes, you've done a
tremendous amount of work on itand I believe that you are going
to go through this the finalpart of healing through it, in
partnership and I think that'sone of the really, really strong
aspects of partnership when youfind somebody that you really
love and believe in and trustand they can hold the space for
you and you for them is like youhad to go through that with
(29:35):
somebody and I feel reallyhonored that it got to be me.
I really do, I really do andI'm again, I'm really proud of
us, because then we were inWorcester and, um, there were
pubs there.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
And our option was to go to I think it was called
Hotel Chocolate Um ChocolateHotel.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Hotel yeah, hotel Chocolate.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
whatever it was, yeah , hotel Chocolate whatever, yeah
, Hotel Chocolate right, and toget a little, get a few little
things of chocolate.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah, I even went really rogue when you go into
Full Force and I stole somesamples that were at the front.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
She stole some samples at the front, which just
like, which is amazing.
I've had a decaf coffee.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, because coffee is also really disconnects me
and numbs me and is another way.
I really believe coffee isanother way that my ego uses to
disconnect me, numb me and, youknow, not not enable me to have
like the sense.
Well, it's like it stops me,stops me from being connected
spiritually for sure.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah, um, yeah, yeah, it does yeah, and, and that was
the option opposed to like.
It was very uncomfortable thatday yeah it was very
uncomfortable for a couple days,yeah, and it would have been
incredibly easy.
I could see very easily wherethis could have gone a
completely different trajectoryyeah had we gone out for one
(31:03):
beer or two beers?
yeah and, exactly like you said,like things would have been
swept under the rug, I mighthave had questions you might not
have you've.
You've done such a tremendousjob communicating.
Yeah, what's going on along theway?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
yeah, and yeah, and I , you know, I'll add that, like,
even though this has been likereally challenging and we've
gone through this like there'sbeen no nervous system
dysregulation between us no likewe've been able to have those
difficult conversations andcommunicate with each other
again because we're not drinkingand in that different state,
(31:39):
because I think when you drink,you just you give your ego so
much power and it's like there'sa trigger and then you, like,
you don't enable yourself tocreate that space between the
trigger and then a reaction,whereas, like when you remove
the booze, like you're able tojust stay so much more centered
and create that space and thenrespond.
You know more from the heart, Iguess, or just being more aware
(32:02):
of you, know how you'recommunicating and just having
more power, I suppose, to standin your power with that.
So, yeah, yeah, that's beenfascinating.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Yeah, it has been.
Yeah, I think the last thingthat I would add there is
because I work with men on thisa lot, but it's, I'm constantly
saying, like separate the threeentities of the relationship.
And there's there's her andwhat's happening for her in her
(32:36):
world, in her internal world,and what she's working through.
There's me of what's going onfor me and what's happening in
my internal world, and thenthere's a third entity being the
connection in between, and Ican see how, whether it's coffee
, whether it's like an obsceneamount of sugar or alcohol or
(32:59):
drugs or whatever it might be,any sort of vice can kind of
come in and muddle those allinto one yeah right and it was
very grounding for me, like Ithink it was the next day that I
was like I got to get up early,I got to go just take like an
hour for myself, do somejournaling, like just to,
because I realized that I wasoff and yeah.
(33:22):
I like okay and I can feel thatwhen you're off exactly, exactly
, and I just I laugh with theguys about this all the time
like the unfortunate thing here,gentlemen, is quite, quite
often like we, we hardly have anidea of what's going on, what
the hell's going on in ourselves.
Like this is the journey thatmost men need to go on like
figuring ourselves out at anemotional level, right, the
(33:42):
unfortunate thing is the womenusually have like a real leg up
advantage.
They know exactly what's goingon for them, they know exactly
what's going on for you, theyknow exactly what's going on in
the connection.
But I think that there's justso much power when, when a man
can step up and say, like to beable to call it out and be like
I'm feeling I'm feeling a littlerattled or I can feel the
(34:05):
connection between us is alittle bit strained right now
Like and being able to ask thequestions of what's going on for
you over there and being ableto separate those three entities
, so being able to be solid inoneself, feel what's going on in
the connection in between.
And I'm sure you got a lot offemale females listening to this
(34:25):
right now that are probablyjust laughing like duh, you're
explaining it well yeah, and butit's just that's like the like
just breaking it down.
So simply for, for for men Iwould say, is so important and,
and I could feel that I was likeand I'm just really proud of
both of us for being able toidentify that right Like you're
(34:47):
owning your stuff, I'm owning mystuff, and being able to just
say, like what's in between us,like, yeah, our connection's a
little bit strained right now,but it's okay.
Like we just need to take thetime to ground in ourselves, be
present with each other and holdthe space for one another, and
this will naturally come backright, whereas, like you said,
(35:07):
had had there been alcoholinvolved, how easy would it be
to sweep a little bit of thatunder the rug?
And we get a little bit of.
I love the analogy of of like apiece of glass being that that
connection piece in between us,right, and it's like you're
driving down a road, you get alittle bit of mud thrown up onto
the glass and if you choose notto deal with that little bit of
(35:32):
mud, the mud continues to stackup over time.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Then, all of a sudden , I've completely lost sight of
you over there and what's goingon in your world and vice versa
and I'm really proud of us forclearing the mud off along the
way yeah, and and like on thatfeeling thing, it's like we do,
like I I never knew before, likewhat it actually was so years
(35:57):
ago when I would have had mywobbles and you, you know, tried
to sabotage, and that probablywould have looked like me going
out getting drunk and God knowswhat back then.
Now it's different now,obviously, but like I wouldn't
have known what was going on,like I didn't know it was a
pattern, I didn't know what washappening and the poor bloke
wouldn't have had a bloody clueeither, and like it's always
kind of confused me around that.
(36:18):
But I think what I'm learningin real time is and since since
obviously doing a huge amount ofwork, particularly with the
relationship code which is allaround, like that masculine
state and feminine state and allof that, and basically like
really feeling it now, likerealizing that I can feel you
when you're in your masculinestate, and that's what I need
from you.
In those moments when I'm likehaving a complete wobble and my
(36:41):
ego is telling me to run and not, not, not allow you to come to
Australia, whatever panic whichis like not the truth, like as
crazy as it sounds and I know,you know this it's like I need
you, stronger than ever, tostand there and to, like you
know, to I don't know show methat.
I don't know like I don't knowhow to explain it, but it's like
(37:02):
kind of like just having youhold that space and give me that
.
I don't know like I don't knowhow to explain it, but it's like
kind of like just having youhold that space and give me that
certainty, unconsciously, orlike yeah, I didn't know I
needed that, but that's what Ineed in that moment and that's
what you've been really good atis being in your masculine state
.
And you say you kind of likealmost don't take my ego too
seriously when I'm having awobble or what have you, but
(37:23):
that's that's actually what Ineed and I never knew I needed
that before.
And now I'm feeling that inreal time and it's like wow,
okay, and I think that like yeah, like I said earlier, like guys
in the past, like, of course,would have like panicked when I
had been that way and thenthat's when shit would have hit
the fan and, you know,connection would have been lost
and I probably would have runaway or whatever.
But I think again, like you,not having alcohol has enabled
(37:48):
you to stand so much strongerright, because otherwise your
ego would come in and be likewhat the hell is going on.
She doesn't want me to move toAustralia.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
And then we would have like done.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
You know, when actually like what's happened is
like even though you know,obviously it's not got as
serious as me saying I don'talways go to Australia but it's
like my ego will come in andpanic, but then it passes and
you've held that strength inthat space for me, and then it's
like we come back togetherstronger than ever.
Yeah, yeah.
Hope that explains things.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
It does Well and I think that, like from being the
bedrock, being the lighthousefor the feminine to come in from
her storm, yeah, like beingthat safe harbor for her to land
, back into guiding her back in.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
That's really powerful.
I think that's a really goodplace to cap off, but I wanted
to just share.
One other thing that I thoughtwas super cool was when we were
away in Bristol.
This was something I've neverseen before and it shows me a
huge cultural change, but therewas non-alcoholic beer on tap
yeah and you got your favoritenon-alcoholic beer to date yeah
(38:58):
which I think was from theBristol brewery.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Yeah, yeah, what was it called?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Clearhead.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Clearhead, so we've got really into the IPAs.
Yes, so there's some incredibleIPAs.
I know there's some great onesin Australia, there's some great
ones over here.
I'd imagine they're pretty muchworldwide now.
But anything IPA like, I think,out of all of the alcohol-free
options that there are, thebeers have always been pretty,
pretty great, and then theseIPAs are even better, and so
(39:27):
that's actually been a way thatwe've been like enjoying that
ritual of still going to the pub.
Um, and yeah, like we did, likea, we basically did a pub call
we did a pub call in Bristol andit was like yeah, there was one
called Job, which is such a.
Bristolian.
I love that Proper Job.
And then there was the clear,the clear head one and yeah,
(39:50):
like because that's what I wasgoing to say actually was
whether you had like tips andstuff for anyone who, like
you're clearly like establishedin your alcohol free world now
and traveling sober.
Traveling sober, um.
But I guess I'd like to cap offwith you just if there's
anything that you would giveadvice or support to people on
(40:10):
who's maybe like newer totraveling alcohol-free.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
I think it's there's.
There's good selections ofnon-alcoholic beers out there
now yeah which is super powerful.
Um, like, there was verylimited even.
I think a lot of it took offduring COVID.
So even like pre-COVID, therewas very little that was
(40:33):
available.
I think there was like theBudweiser Prohibition, which
just tasted like a cigarette can.
Um, but like the breweries arecoming out with really good
stuff and.
I love seeing that because itshows, you know, people vote
with their wallet, right.
So to see all of the breweriesand the micro breweries coming
(40:54):
out with really good stuff, it'slike obviously they're not
doing it out of charity.
It's showing that there's atrend.
I would say you know, I haven't, yeah it's.
I guess it's very easy for menow to just not even really
think about it, but there'snon-alcoholic options and then
if you're a single or a solotraveler, maybe look for types
(41:15):
of events that don't revolvearound alcohol, right, I mean,
look for things like like hhikes, like paddles, um, you
know I'm I'm very biased towardslike just connecting with
nature, obviously.
But yeah just getting out of outof the city, out of the
distracting environment, likebecause everything, everything
(41:38):
in society really does try.
You know all you're fighting abillion billion dollar war,
right, there's so muchadvertisement, and you know I'm
going to speak from themasculine, but the toxic
masculinity of what it means tobe a man and it's, you know, to
have the most expensive scotch,to have the nicest glass of
champagne, to have the trophygirl or multiple trophy girls on
(42:02):
your arm, and like the alcoholdraws them in right and it gives
you that like liquid courage.
So I don't know, like I wouldjust say don't.
You're never going to win thatwar against everything that's
trying to drive you into thosevices.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
so the the other option is just don't even engage
with it yeah, well, I think,early on it's like, it's like
those baby steps.
Isn't it like to push yourselfout your comfort zone enough
that you're able to, withoutlike overwhelming yourself, so
like just maybe avoiding all ofthose situations to start with,
and then just like slowly, likeeasing yourself in, and it is
(42:36):
like you, you literally well,for me personally, like I know
I've healed my nervous systemwith it and healed so many
insecurities and like so muchsocial anxiety as well by just
continuing to like step outsidemy comfort zone a little bit
more with it.
And then, you know, after twoand a half years, I was dancing
in clubs in Ibiza, sober, andlike I wouldn't have been able
to do that at the beginning, I'mpretty confident that would
have been a struggle.
(42:56):
So it's like it.
It's a build-up, isn't itessentially?
Um, but the main thing is likeyou do get to a point where it's
bloody amazing and you don'teven think about it at all and
there's just so many greatthings that you can do without
it.
Like this trip without boozehas been incredible.
And yeah, you just like connecton such a deeper level in so
(43:19):
many ways and just find so manyother things to do instead and
just have so much more time.
So much more time clear headall the things.
So, yeah, thank you, pete, forcoming on again.
I hope that was helpful.
I know we went off on a tangent, but I think yeah, I have great
faith that whatever comes up ismeant to come up for whoever
(43:41):
needs to hear it.
So I hope that landed for youand look forward to having you
on again soon amazing thanks forhaving me proud of you for
doing this today thanks.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode of the sober
chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
(44:01):
.
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(44:24):
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If you would like to learn moreabout sober chapters and to
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(44:52):
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(45:14):
I can.
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel I'm so grateful that
you're here.
Welcome to another episode ofthe Sober Chaps podcast, and
(01:07):
today I'm sitting out on thebalcony in Stratford-upon-Avon.
I'm actually traveling at themoment back home in England and
Pete has come over and joined me.
For anyone who listened to thelast episode, you'll know we
were originally over in theYukon when we did our first
podcast episode and reallyenjoyed doing it and I haven't
(01:30):
had any guests lined up andwe've been traveling and all of
the things and Pete reallykindly said that he would do
another one with me today andit's like there's actually been
so much that's come up for us onthis trip.
So he's come over to meet myparents and meet my family and
friends and it's been a prettybig deal.
And naturally as well it's thefirst time that I've been
(01:52):
alcohol free or sober in arelationship around my parents
in England.
I think it's been quite a newexperience for Pete too.
So we thought we'd do a bit ofa chat today around sober travel
and all of the experiences thatwe've had so far.
So thanks, pete, for comingback on.
Speaker 2 (02:08):
Oh, my goodness, thank you.
I was kind of laughing atmyself.
I just jumped out of the showerand I was thinking I feel like
I'm dating a celebrity, I feellike a guest star two in a row
here.
Speaker 1 (02:18):
No, not at all, but thank you because I because I
felt some resistance today Iknew I needed to get a podcast
out on Friday and normally I'mreally organized with having
them ready to go, and so Ireally appreciate you helping me
out and coming on.
Speaker 2 (02:35):
Yeah, well, I think it's been pretty amazing the
amount of travel that you'vebeen doing.
You went from the Yukon back toOz for a short period and then
you came up here and then I flewover and we're almost two weeks
that I've been here yeah now.
Yeah, so it's been a lot.
It's been a lot and it's beenreally interesting and real
(02:55):
honor and very special comingover to see and see your whole
childhood, see England.
I've never been to England.
I I had you know I was sharingwith you before.
I had a 18-hour layover inLondon once upon a time, but
getting out to see where yougrew up and the English
countryside.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:15):
And the slow pace of it and just the beauty of it,
and go through a lot of journeyswith you while here Meet the
folks, meet so many of yourfriends and family and doing all
of it sober along the way.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:31):
It's been really wild .
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Yeah, yeah.
So for context, my family well,you know my dad is a big
drinker.
It's been a big part of,naturally, of English culture,
english english tradition, ourfamily traditions, a lot of my
friends I only have one friendthat doesn't drink, um prue, who
you met, so it's been.
(03:52):
You know, we've been aroundalcohol a lot and just I think
it's been interesting for you ingeneral.
Hasn't it pete like seeing theenglish culture?
Like tell me, tell me aboutthat, because you've, we've been
through a few towns now and afew different areas across the
the midlands, west midlands,warwickshire, we're in
shropshire now.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
So well sorry, stratford now yeah, it's been
really fascinating, likeobviously I kind of nerd out on
the like world war one, worldwar two, history with england
and europe and everything, butit's been really fascinating,
coming from a country where wehave a lot of land and a lot of
(04:31):
natural resources and no people,to a country that has not a lot
of natural resources, not a lotof land and a lot of people.
And you know I kept laughingbecause we went to a few
different places.
Like it's been really supercool seeing like all the
architecture and the recyclingof old timbers and bricks and
(04:54):
you know they a church would get, you know, torn down at some
point or rebuilt and people werelike reusing the stones to
build their homes and everything.
So it's been really fascinating.
But then, like a lot of whatI've really noticed has been the
pub and restaurant and bar kindof culture.
And first off, it's just reallyfunny because like Canada is
(05:19):
like 250 years old and we wentfor a lovely Sunday roast roast
with um, your friendly aunt, andwith your dad the other day to
a place called the elms, which Ithink don't quote me on this,
but I think he said like it wasestablished in like 1641 or
something yeah, it was.
Speaker 1 (05:36):
It was in the 1600s.
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Yeah, in the 1600s yeah like that establishment
alone is like 200 years olderthan my country yeah, wow which
is super fascinating.
But what I've really noticed,though, and even just like kind
of when you were sharing, whenyou showed me, like you know,
your kind of early professionallife in your university years
(06:01):
and everything is like it's just, it's very based on pub culture
, very, very based, and I couldsee it and I think that when we
went out to a place with um,with your friend Anna yeah, um
that was in Somerset it was inSomerset and we drove through a
(06:22):
community and there was a lightbulb moment for me where she
said we drove through thislittle town and she said there's
no pub here, so there's not abig community, like there's not
a lot of community gathering,and I saw it like I can see that
pub culture being so integralto the actual coming together of
(06:44):
the communities in thesedifferent areas and it was
really really fascinating andagain, this is another
mind-blowing thing for me right,like, especially up in the
Yukon, you know you drive sixhours and you don't see another
town, like we drive six hourshere and we've driven through.
I mean geez, we drive 60 minutesand we've driven through six
towns.
Speaker 1 (07:03):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right.
Yeah, drive 60 minutes and we'vedriven through six towns.
Yeah, right, yeah, um.
So just seeing, like what'sbeen really resonating for me
out of all of it has been seeingthe, the culture of like
alcohol integration intodifferent places.
And and I'm sharing here fromcoming from the east coast of
canada as well where, where our,our, if you will, was the
(07:28):
kitchen right, like it wasconstant kitchen parties and
like that's where you wouldcongregate with your family and
friends and very, very, very bigalcohol culture back on the
east coast of Canada, and thenI've noticed the shift moving
out to the west coast of Canada,where it isn't as big and
obviously we're going through, Ithink, a bit of an awakening
(07:48):
moment in our society as a whole, where you're seeing alcohol is
becoming less and less of athing, but then coming over here
and seeing how it's been, it'sbeen such a big part of the
culture for such a long time,yeah, it sure has.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
Yeah, it's huge.
I mean it's huge because it'swhat you can see now, like it's
just such a big, big patternthat I've like broken out of, I
suppose, in terms of it's justeverywhere, like it's everywhere
.
But I love that I I mean thisis for context, this is my I
gave up alcohol July 2022, and Idid that actually back in
(08:30):
England and then I kind of hadthree months here during like my
first wedding, my first, likemy first hens do, like first
bought first summer ball, likeall of those things.
I did that in England and then.
So I had like three months then, and then I came back the
following year and did likeanother, like two, three months
here.
So I think this is like myfourth trip back alcohol free,
(08:54):
um, so I've got used to it.
I still haven't done a Christmashere, which I think will be
interesting, but it's like I'm,you know, around it all the time
.
Like I say, like at the Sundayroast, like my dad will sit
there and well, you've, you'veseen it Like he'll have like a
bottle of champagne, a bottle ofwine, like whilst I'm sitting
there drinking my sparklingwater, and I love it.
I love that I'm able to do thatand for me I feel like it's
(09:14):
yeah, there's not one part of methat regrets that, but it's
been so much that's come upright.
But it has been interestingcoming back and being in a
relationship for the first time,having a boyfriend here for the
first time, alcohol free,because like that's a whole
another association that I wouldhave been used to.
(09:35):
So around my dad and my mumwith a partner we would have all
drank together and I'm reallygrateful that you don't drink.
And it's been amazing havinglike almost like an ally that
doesn't drink.
But it is a different feelingand even having a guy around my
dad who doesn't drink, that's awhole new thing for my dad, like
a whole new thing.
Like it was actually a reallybig challenge, I think, for him
(09:57):
to understand.
He thought I was absolutelybonkers when I gave up alcohol
and I've had to navigate thatover the years and you you know
it's been a bit of work.
There's been some boundariesthat have been put in, but I
think he actually reallyrespects it deep down.
I think his soul respects it.
I think his ego fights itsometimes, but yeah, I think he
does respect it.
And how did it feel for youlike coming into the situation,
(10:17):
knowing that my dad's a bigdrinker, coming into like for
the first time to meet my family, like how was that and how's it
been?
Speaker 2 (10:33):
um, well, to be completely honest, like didn't
really bat an eyelash at it,okay, cool.
Yeah, I really didn't.
Um, I can see how things couldhave been vastly different had
alcohol been involved.
Involved, but you know, I've,I've told you before like I've
got your back first off and thenanybody else after that and
(10:54):
it's just, it's, it's ouridentity, right.
So, like it never even crossedmy mind, I could see how this
trip could have been completelydifferent had alcohol been
involved.
Speaker 1 (11:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (11:08):
Because, don't get me wrong like there's a piece of
curiosity, as we've been goingaround, like there's all these
incredible like new beers andmicro breweries and every like
pub has their own brew on the go, but I could see how that could
get out of control very quickly.
But to go back to answer yourquestion, like I didn't, um, I
didn't even think about it.
Yeah, I didn't even think aboutit because like it's just, it's
(11:29):
just who you are, it's who I am, it's who we are, and, um, I
wasn't too worried about anyjudgment or hazing or anything
yeah, well, and he's been reallygood, right, like.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
So I thought my dad might have played up a little
bit around it, and I didn't knowhow he was gonna take it,
because he would normally, Iguess, for his own probably
unknown social anxiety, he wouldgo straight to offer, like a
new guy in the family, a drink,and that's something that he's
not been able to do this time,but I think that he's been.
Actually, I think it's probablybecause you're so rooted in it
(12:06):
and so, like strong in it, andit goes back to having that
really strong energy around theidentity of being sober and
being proud of it that peopledon't really seem to mess with
that, and I think that he's hadthis like respect for that.
Hasn't he and like made the oddjoke about how, like, the only
thing we've got wrong is beingsober?
yeah, my dad's very cheeky so helike he can't, he can't not do
(12:31):
that, like he wouldn't becapable of it, but yeah, he's,
um, he's definitely respected it.
And I do think because, like Isay, I say to people, because it
takes a while to get really, um, strong in that energy and I
think that the stronger that youget, the less people, the less
people try and twist your arm orchange your mind or, like you
know, veto it or whatever,because they can feel that sense
(12:53):
of strength around thatidentity and and that I think
that comes with being proud ofit and really embodying it,
really embodying being alcoholfree, like people kind of like I
think they can pick up on thatenergy for sure yeah, yeah, yeah
.
Speaker 2 (13:06):
I um, I think there was a real, I felt a real strong
respect both ways betweenbetween your father and I.
Yeah, yeah yeah, and just maybe,just while you're chatting
there, I was just of like howimportant it is to get, to have
(13:28):
the support and to be doing ittogether as well.
Like it can be really reallychallenging for somebody trying
to remove alcohol from theirlife and not having a partner
that supports that, so likethose can be very uncomfortable
conversations.
Excuse the sirens in thebackground if that's picking it
up we're out on the balconyright now at our very, very
(13:52):
special little hotel here inStratford.
Speaker 1 (13:54):
It's lovely yeah, yeah, um, I think it is.
I think I think we're yeah,we're fortunate that we both
don't drink.
I think it is.
I think we're fortunate that weboth don't drink.
I think it does come up a lot,though, where people do still
have partners that drink, and Ithink you can only really go
(14:14):
down your own path, and often, Ithink, people do follow.
They see how much of a hugeimpact it does have on one
person's life.
But I think you have to likerelease any attachment to that
too, because I do have likequite a few clients who have
given up alcohol and they reallyreally want their partners to,
(14:37):
but it's like they have to kindof like release that expectation
and let people go on their ownjourney.
And often the partner does endup going alcohol-free, like
after a period of time, likeafter they see, but I think that
it's kind of like they have todo it in their own way.
Yeah, don't they?
Speaker 2 (14:54):
Well, and I'm just, it's so cool to see the
ripple-out effect, right?
You know, even I woke up to amessage this morning from one of
my clients, after sitting outrunning a call here on this deck
yesterday afternoon before wewent out for our date night, and
the message that he dropped helistened to our, he listened to
your podcast, our episodetogether, our last episode
(15:16):
together.
And I woke up to a message fromhim saying like I'm very sober
curious.
Oh, cool yeah it was super coolLike it was just such a and I
just love seeing that impactoutright.
And I think that I would sayanybody that's struggling in
that realm that they've got apartner who is still drinking if
(15:39):
that's something that you'retrying to remove from your life,
you know, really commend themand congratulate them on any
little progress.
Just remember your own journeythat you've gone through in
removing alcohol or reducingalcohol consumption or
eliminating it altogether and beopen, be vulnerable, be strong
in talking about it with yourpartner and then if you see them
(16:02):
starting to make movement inthat direction, like just tell
them how much that means to youand just recognize like you're
like I'll speak for myself likeI know my journey took, like it
took years to get to that levelof actual elimination and just
being that support andrecognizing like you're having
(16:22):
an impact.
And you know I think we spokeabout this before but in when
you remove that alcohol, quiteoften people might throw a
little sass your way and you canend up taking that personally,
thinking that you're the weirdone or that you're the one with
the problem, but what it is isactually the other person
(16:44):
they're throwing.
they're just projecting theirjudgments of themselves onto you
right in the mirror right yeah,yeah and so, yeah, it's been a
really cool experience comingover and, like I said, I didn't
it didn't really cross my mindand it's been a really
incredible.
I don't know how we would havefit everything in had we been
(17:06):
waking up with hangovers or thathaze or that disconnection from
from ourselves or one another,but I wanted to ask you what's
the experience whole experiencebeen like for you coming over
here?
Speaker 1 (17:19):
yeah.
So I always love coming home,like for me it is home.
Even though I live in Australia, england has, I always say,
like it has my heart and soul,and you know my mum and dad are
here and everything.
Um, and obviously this trip waslike super special because I
have been single for years now,like or not now but was single
for eight years until we met,and so it was, I don't know, I
(17:44):
wasn't nervous about it, I waslike really excited about you
coming over, made it seem extraspecial and like I didn't have
any fear or worries, I did sayto you I think, oh, it'll be
interesting to see what testscome up, because Pete and I seem
to get so many tests that we'reable to work through and
navigate just so well because ofthe fact that we are sober,
like it's been, it's been soamazing for our relationship.
(18:05):
But I kind of said that as likea bit of a joke, not thinking
that it necessarily would happen.
And, oh my goodness, I havebeen tested.
So I often talk about my ego andhow it tries to like pull me
back, like I almost feel likeit's like this darkness that
comes over me or what have you,and I'm just so grateful that I
like have such awareness aroundit.
(18:26):
But it can be really reallysneaky and I'm just going to go
with whatever comes up here,because quite a lot had come up.
But so Pete came in.
He came in pretty hot fromCanada.
I picked him up, he met my mum,he met my dad.
Like it all went like amazing,although I did notice that I was
kind of like I don't, I wasjust like a little bit too
attached to how they felt aboutyou and like kind of felt myself
(18:49):
very much like feeling like, ohGod, I really wanted them to
like you, I really wanted you tolike them, and you know a
little bit in my head about that.
But that was okay.
And then I guess we did a lotof like going down memory lanes.
You know, like I grew up here, Ihad a little bit of a dark time
, to be honest, around myteenage years.
(19:09):
I'm not sure I've even reallyspoken about that, this, that,
that this, that much.
I'm already getting like I'llprobably cry.
So I went to school inWorcester and I guess around
like the age of kind of like 14,15, I kind of feel like I went
from being like a pretty happy,carefree like child or what have
(19:34):
you.
I know teenage years come in,but I definitely changed Like a
lot of things were like changeswere happening at home.
I had big sisters that werequite a lot older than me that
left home, and I really actuallythink that a lot of my missing
connection and seekingconnection outside of the house
came from the fact that mysisters left.
But long story short, I gotinto a fair bit of darkness
(19:58):
really Around the age of 15, Istarted taking drugs.
Fair bit of like darkness,really around the age of 15.
I started taking drugs.
I took my first ecstasy pill at15, which just absolutely blows
my mind now when I think aboutit.
Like it was before my GCSEs,for anyone that's English.
So, like before, like the lastyear of school, and I've sort of
like fallen into like a bit ofa crowd.
I had an older boyfriend thatwas, um, you know, probably a
(20:21):
little bit of a bad influence,and I was at this school as well
and and actually around thattime I also yeah, we're going
down a whole road now, but myone of my best friends died in a
car crash at 16, like myclosest friends, and so it just
escalated, like there was a lotof drug taking, there was a lot
of drug-taking, there was a lotof, yeah, like I say, darkness,
(20:43):
I suppose, and I went into thesixth form college from 16 to 18
at a school and was just sodeeply unhappy and there's so
much more to that story but it'slike really is the darker years
that I can think of and I endedup taking pee on this, like
trip kind of down like memorylane and like drove the roads to
(21:04):
the school where I used to getpicked up and it was wild, like
I had all this darkness comeover me and all this like
horrible energy and, yeah, likea lot of shame, a lot of shame,
a lot of like, um, yeah, like Isay just darkness, and I sort of
like burst into tears and justit was so unexpected and I know
(21:25):
I'm a great believer that ithappened exactly the way that it
was meant to.
It's all part of this healingand of me breaking patterns and
feeling all this discomfort andgoing right through everything.
And poor Pete sat next to meand he was feeling it all.
So we have this wild thingwhere he really feels my energy
and feels anything that I'mgoing through, but I think this
(21:46):
was different, wasn't it?
Like you really felt it thistime and like, how tell, how was
that?
Speaker 2 (21:54):
well it was.
Yeah, there was just something.
There was this we just passedthe horse track and I remember
feeling something like rising upin me and I was like what the
heck, why am I?
Like it almost felt likeanxiety or like an internal pain
.
And then I think we had justrounded that corner and you were
(22:16):
able to point off down the road, like that was the school, and
it took me a few minutes to likerealize, like oh, this isn't
mine.
Like I was like why am Ifeeling anxious or sad, or like
why is there this like internaltension in me right now?
And it was just picking up onon your energy.
And then it was shortly afterthat that you know you, you took
(22:38):
the turn, you parked where yourmom would have parked to pick
you up after school every day,and then you broke down yeah and
then I realized like oh shit,because you weren't like you
went.
You went kind of quiet, like youwere pointing things out.
But yeah um, and then it wasjust the recognition, like oh,
she's going through somethingreally painful right now and
these are things that I thinkthat it was really powerful
(23:02):
because these are things thatyou've shared.
But then to actually be in it,like it triggers all of those
like the sights are there, thesounds are there, the smells are
there, like it's hitting you inall the senses.
It's not you just communicatingit to me like yeah, in another
country or over the phone, butrather being right there and
(23:23):
going through it.
So it was incrediblyuncomfortable.
It was incredibly uncomfortableto and I had huge empathy, for,
you know, I could just reallysee the, the little Didi, like
the little, the young, 15, 16,17, 18 year old Didi.
And then you started to share alot of like what, what it was
(23:45):
like, you know, like yeah, likeyou were really reliving it and
I just had such tremendousempathy for how confused, how
lost, how much pain, how muchpain, how much you know not
really having anyone to guideyou emotionally on what you were
(24:06):
going through Like.
It was a heck of a lot for youto go through during that time
and I'm just incredibly proud ofyou for going through that.
Speaker 1 (24:23):
Well, yeah, and I think that's a really good point
to make, because, as we werethere, like you were like, well,
my default now, whenever I gothrough anything that triggers
me and you're the same anythingemotional, we go for sugar, like
straight for sugar, like ournervous systems are like all
over the place and it's likesugar that we crave, right, and
but thank goodness it's notalcohol, and like you said that
(24:46):
there, and then you're like wewould have easily just gone oh,
let's go get a drink, totally,let's go get a drink and then,
like wouldn't have felt throughit, gone right through it,
talked through it.
Um, yeah, it was reallyuncomfortable, but it's like at
least it was still me.
It was still me that wascommunicating with you.
It was still me aware of who Itruly am and not, yes, my ego
(25:08):
was coming in horribly, but Iwas aware of that and I knew
that it was lies.
Because, again, the context Ihad so many patterns with men
over the years and hence why I'mso grateful that I had eight
years of being single to reallywork on myself and understand
what the hell had been going onand why I was stuck in these
(25:29):
patterns.
Um, and I still feel like I'mlearning about it now in real
time with you, but like thatwould have been a classic case
of like me wanting to runessentially just wanting to run
and I can just see now how I'venot been able to.
Like I found it really easy togive love, like I found it
really easy to chase to givelove, all of those things but I
(25:52):
found it like incredibly hard toreceive and accept it and I
don't think I, like when I waslearning and doing the inner
work, everyone was telling methat was the case.
I was like no, no, I've not hadany issue accepting love.
Like when I was learning anddoing the inner work, everyone
was telling me that was the case.
I was like no, no, I've not hadany issue accepting love.
And now that I'm getting allthis like incredible love from
you, especially in situationslike that, I can see now how
(26:14):
before I would have like shutdown and convinced myself I
didn't want to be with someonelike you, whereas now I'm able
to know that that's just liesand like it's a wobble, and then
there's always just so muchlike growth and coming back
together afterwards.
It's been fascinating, it'sliterally been fascinating, and
you've been incredible throughit, because I think in the past
(26:34):
other guys would have likecompletely wobbled and then and
and there would have beenalcohol involved, right.
So that's where it would havebeen like chaos and something
would have been said or like youknow, I don't know, like we
would have broken up that way orwhatever, or it would have just
got completely brushed underthe carpet and never, never like
talked about, never healed, andit would have risen again at
another time and, you know,broken the connection and you
(26:57):
know all of those things.
But it's, it's, yeah.
I mean, there we go, we'vecovered a lot Classic.
I need to stick to a script, Ithink.
But it's no, it's beenfascinating and breaking
patterns.
Like I always said that Iremoved alcohol firstly to
attract in love, but I guessalso to keep it right, to be
able to keep healthy love,because I can just see so
(27:19):
clearly now how alcohol wouldhave just fueled, fueled my ego,
fueled those patterns and Iwould never.
I always wanted like arelationship to last forever,
like I always had this beautiful, um, fairytale image of getting
married, like I always wantedto get married, but it was like
clear that I was like the onething I wanted.
I was just pushing it away sobadly like I wasn't able to
(27:40):
receive it, and I was justpushing it away so badly like I
wasn't able to receive it and Iwas just sabotaging in so many
ways and I you know we can doother episodes on that because
there's just so many patternsthat'll be interesting but it's
like I really I'm just sograteful.
Grateful for you for cominginto my life and helping me work
through this in real time, butgrateful for the fact that
you're sober, that we're sober,and it's like wow, like it
(28:03):
changes the game completely,like if you can do sobriety and
that inner work which both of usdo which I'm sure anyone
listening is curious about ifyou're not doing it already like
it is a game changer forbreaking patterns and for, yeah,
just being able to really havethe love that you always wanted.
Speaker 2 (28:23):
Yeah yeah, yeah and yeah, I was deeply honored again
that I was part of it.
I thought that it wasincredibly courageous of you.
I think that I said you knowyou've done so much work on this
and I thought that it wasincredibly courageous of you.
I think that I said you knowyou've done so much work on this
(28:45):
and I know that your ego wasbeing pretty vicious on you at
the time and you know you wereeven questioning, like you were
like how?
Like is there something wrongwith me?
Like I've done so much work onthis, me, like I've done so much
(29:07):
work on this and I think thatyou've done yes, you've done a
tremendous amount of work on itand I believe that you are going
to go through this the finalpart of healing through it, in
partnership and I think that'sone of the really, really strong
aspects of partnership when youfind somebody that you really
love and believe in and trustand they can hold the space for
you and you for them is like youhad to go through that with
(29:35):
somebody and I feel reallyhonored that it got to be me.
I really do, I really do andI'm again, I'm really proud of
us, because then we were inWorcester and, um, there were
pubs there.
Speaker 1 (29:49):
Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2 (29:50):
And our option was to go to I think it was called
Hotel Chocolate Um ChocolateHotel.
Speaker 1 (29:57):
Hotel yeah, hotel Chocolate.
Speaker 2 (29:59):
whatever it was, yeah , hotel Chocolate whatever, yeah
, Hotel Chocolate right, and toget a little, get a few little
things of chocolate.
Speaker 1 (30:07):
Yeah, I even went really rogue when you go into
Full Force and I stole somesamples that were at the front.
Speaker 2 (30:13):
She stole some samples at the front, which just
like, which is amazing.
I've had a decaf coffee.
Speaker 1 (30:21):
Yeah, because coffee is also really disconnects me
and numbs me and is another way.
I really believe coffee isanother way that my ego uses to
disconnect me, numb me and, youknow, not not enable me to have
like the sense.
Well, it's like it stops me,stops me from being connected
spiritually for sure.
Speaker 2 (30:39):
Yeah, um, yeah, yeah, it does yeah, and, and that was
the option opposed to like.
It was very uncomfortable thatday yeah it was very
uncomfortable for a couple days,yeah, and it would have been
incredibly easy.
I could see very easily wherethis could have gone a
completely different trajectoryyeah had we gone out for one
(31:03):
beer or two beers?
yeah and, exactly like you said,like things would have been
swept under the rug, I mighthave had questions you might not
have you've.
You've done such a tremendousjob communicating.
Yeah, what's going on along theway?
Speaker 1 (31:18):
yeah, and yeah, and I , you know, I'll add that, like,
even though this has been likereally challenging and we've
gone through this like there'sbeen no nervous system
dysregulation between us no likewe've been able to have those
difficult conversations andcommunicate with each other
again because we're not drinkingand in that different state,
(31:39):
because I think when you drink,you just you give your ego so
much power and it's like there'sa trigger and then you, like,
you don't enable yourself tocreate that space between the
trigger and then a reaction,whereas, like when you remove
the booze, like you're able tojust stay so much more centered
and create that space and thenrespond.
You know more from the heart, Iguess, or just being more aware
(32:02):
of you, know how you'recommunicating and just having
more power, I suppose, to standin your power with that.
So, yeah, yeah, that's beenfascinating.
Speaker 2 (32:13):
Yeah, it has been.
Yeah, I think the last thingthat I would add there is
because I work with men on thisa lot, but it's, I'm constantly
saying, like separate the threeentities of the relationship.
And there's there's her andwhat's happening for her in her
(32:36):
world, in her internal world,and what she's working through.
There's me of what's going onfor me and what's happening in
my internal world, and thenthere's a third entity being the
connection in between, and Ican see how, whether it's coffee
, whether it's like an obsceneamount of sugar or alcohol or
(32:59):
drugs or whatever it might be,any sort of vice can kind of
come in and muddle those allinto one yeah right and it was
very grounding for me, like Ithink it was the next day that I
was like I got to get up early,I got to go just take like an
hour for myself, do somejournaling, like just to,
because I realized that I wasoff and yeah.
(33:22):
I like okay and I can feel thatwhen you're off exactly, exactly
, and I just I laugh with theguys about this all the time
like the unfortunate thing here,gentlemen, is quite, quite
often like we, we hardly have anidea of what's going on, what
the hell's going on in ourselves.
Like this is the journey thatmost men need to go on like
figuring ourselves out at anemotional level, right, the
(33:42):
unfortunate thing is the womenusually have like a real leg up
advantage.
They know exactly what's goingon for them, they know exactly
what's going on for you, theyknow exactly what's going on in
the connection.
But I think that there's justso much power when, when a man
can step up and say, like to beable to call it out and be like
I'm feeling I'm feeling a littlerattled or I can feel the
(34:05):
connection between us is alittle bit strained right now
Like and being able to ask thequestions of what's going on for
you over there and being ableto separate those three entities
, so being able to be solid inoneself, feel what's going on in
the connection in between.
And I'm sure you got a lot offemale females listening to this
(34:25):
right now that are probablyjust laughing like duh, you're
explaining it well yeah, and butit's just that's like the like
just breaking it down.
So simply for, for for men Iwould say, is so important and,
and I could feel that I was likeand I'm just really proud of
both of us for being able toidentify that right Like you're
(34:47):
owning your stuff, I'm owning mystuff, and being able to just
say, like what's in between us,like, yeah, our connection's a
little bit strained right now,but it's okay.
Like we just need to take thetime to ground in ourselves, be
present with each other and holdthe space for one another, and
this will naturally come backright, whereas, like you said,
(35:07):
had had there been alcoholinvolved, how easy would it be
to sweep a little bit of thatunder the rug?
And we get a little bit of.
I love the analogy of of like apiece of glass being that that
connection piece in between us,right, and it's like you're
driving down a road, you get alittle bit of mud thrown up onto
the glass and if you choose notto deal with that little bit of
(35:32):
mud, the mud continues to stackup over time.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
Then, all of a sudden , I've completely lost sight of
you over there and what's goingon in your world and vice versa
and I'm really proud of us forclearing the mud off along the
way yeah, and and like on thatfeeling thing, it's like we do,
like I I never knew before, likewhat it actually was so years
(35:57):
ago when I would have had mywobbles and you, you know, tried
to sabotage, and that probablywould have looked like me going
out getting drunk and God knowswhat back then.
Now it's different now,obviously, but like I wouldn't
have known what was going on,like I didn't know it was a
pattern, I didn't know what washappening and the poor bloke
wouldn't have had a bloody clueeither, and like it's always
kind of confused me around that.
(36:18):
But I think what I'm learningin real time is and since since
obviously doing a huge amount ofwork, particularly with the
relationship code which is allaround, like that masculine
state and feminine state and allof that, and basically like
really feeling it now, likerealizing that I can feel you
when you're in your masculinestate, and that's what I need
from you.
In those moments when I'm likehaving a complete wobble and my
(36:41):
ego is telling me to run and not, not, not allow you to come to
Australia, whatever panic whichis like not the truth, like as
crazy as it sounds and I know,you know this it's like I need
you, stronger than ever, tostand there and to, like you
know, to I don't know show methat.
I don't know like I don't knowhow to explain it, but it's like
(37:02):
kind of like just having youhold that space and give me that
.
I don't know like I don't knowhow to explain it, but it's like
kind of like just having youhold that space and give me that
certainty, unconsciously, orlike yeah, I didn't know I
needed that, but that's what Ineed in that moment and that's
what you've been really good atis being in your masculine state
.
And you say you kind of likealmost don't take my ego too
seriously when I'm having awobble or what have you, but
(37:23):
that's that's actually what Ineed and I never knew I needed
that before.
And now I'm feeling that inreal time and it's like wow,
okay, and I think that like yeah, like I said earlier, like guys
in the past, like, of course,would have like panicked when I
had been that way and thenthat's when shit would have hit
the fan and, you know,connection would have been lost
and I probably would have runaway or whatever.
But I think again, like you,not having alcohol has enabled
(37:48):
you to stand so much strongerright, because otherwise your
ego would come in and be likewhat the hell is going on.
She doesn't want me to move toAustralia.
Speaker 2 (37:56):
And then we would have like done.
Speaker 1 (37:59):
You know, when actually like what's happened is
like even though you know,obviously it's not got as
serious as me saying I don'talways go to Australia but it's
like my ego will come in andpanic, but then it passes and
you've held that strength inthat space for me, and then it's
like we come back togetherstronger than ever.
Yeah, yeah.
Hope that explains things.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
It does Well and I think that, like from being the
bedrock, being the lighthousefor the feminine to come in from
her storm, yeah, like beingthat safe harbor for her to land
, back into guiding her back in.
Speaker 1 (38:33):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (38:34):
That's really powerful.
I think that's a really goodplace to cap off, but I wanted
to just share.
One other thing that I thoughtwas super cool was when we were
away in Bristol.
This was something I've neverseen before and it shows me a
huge cultural change, but therewas non-alcoholic beer on tap
yeah and you got your favoritenon-alcoholic beer to date yeah
(38:58):
which I think was from theBristol brewery.
Speaker 1 (39:01):
Yeah, yeah, what was it called?
Speaker 2 (39:02):
Clearhead.
Speaker 1 (39:03):
Clearhead, so we've got really into the IPAs.
Yes, so there's some incredibleIPAs.
I know there's some great onesin Australia, there's some great
ones over here.
I'd imagine they're pretty muchworldwide now.
But anything IPA like, I think,out of all of the alcohol-free
options that there are, thebeers have always been pretty,
pretty great, and then theseIPAs are even better, and so
(39:27):
that's actually been a way thatwe've been like enjoying that
ritual of still going to the pub.
Um, and yeah, like we did, likea, we basically did a pub call
we did a pub call in Bristol andit was like yeah, there was one
called Job, which is such a.
Bristolian.
I love that Proper Job.
And then there was the clear,the clear head one and yeah,
(39:50):
like because that's what I wasgoing to say actually was
whether you had like tips andstuff for anyone who, like
you're clearly like establishedin your alcohol free world now
and traveling sober.
Traveling sober, um.
But I guess I'd like to cap offwith you just if there's
anything that you would giveadvice or support to people on
(40:10):
who's maybe like newer totraveling alcohol-free.
Speaker 2 (40:13):
I think it's there's.
There's good selections ofnon-alcoholic beers out there
now yeah which is super powerful.
Um, like, there was verylimited even.
I think a lot of it took offduring COVID.
So even like pre-COVID, therewas very little that was
(40:33):
available.
I think there was like theBudweiser Prohibition, which
just tasted like a cigarette can.
Um, but like the breweries arecoming out with really good
stuff and.
I love seeing that because itshows, you know, people vote
with their wallet, right.
So to see all of the breweriesand the micro breweries coming
(40:54):
out with really good stuff, it'slike obviously they're not
doing it out of charity.
It's showing that there's atrend.
I would say you know, I haven't, yeah it's.
I guess it's very easy for menow to just not even really
think about it, but there'snon-alcoholic options and then
if you're a single or a solotraveler, maybe look for types
(41:15):
of events that don't revolvearound alcohol, right, I mean,
look for things like like hhikes, like paddles, um, you
know I'm I'm very biased towardslike just connecting with
nature, obviously.
But yeah just getting out of outof the city, out of the
distracting environment, likebecause everything, everything
(41:38):
in society really does try.
You know all you're fighting abillion billion dollar war,
right, there's so muchadvertisement, and you know I'm
going to speak from themasculine, but the toxic
masculinity of what it means tobe a man and it's, you know, to
have the most expensive scotch,to have the nicest glass of
champagne, to have the trophygirl or multiple trophy girls on
(42:02):
your arm, and like the alcoholdraws them in right and it gives
you that like liquid courage.
So I don't know, like I wouldjust say don't.
You're never going to win thatwar against everything that's
trying to drive you into thosevices.
Speaker 1 (42:15):
so the the other option is just don't even engage
with it yeah, well, I think,early on it's like, it's like
those baby steps.
Isn't it like to push yourselfout your comfort zone enough
that you're able to, withoutlike overwhelming yourself, so
like just maybe avoiding all ofthose situations to start with,
and then just like slowly, likeeasing yourself in, and it is
(42:36):
like you, you literally well,for me personally, like I know
I've healed my nervous systemwith it and healed so many
insecurities and like so muchsocial anxiety as well by just
continuing to like step outsidemy comfort zone a little bit
more with it.
And then, you know, after twoand a half years, I was dancing
in clubs in Ibiza, sober, andlike I wouldn't have been able
to do that at the beginning, I'mpretty confident that would
have been a struggle.
(42:56):
So it's like it.
It's a build-up, isn't itessentially?
Um, but the main thing is likeyou do get to a point where it's
bloody amazing and you don'teven think about it at all and
there's just so many greatthings that you can do without
it.
Like this trip without boozehas been incredible.
And yeah, you just like connecton such a deeper level in so
(43:19):
many ways and just find so manyother things to do instead and
just have so much more time.
So much more time clear headall the things.
So, yeah, thank you, pete, forcoming on again.
I hope that was helpful.
I know we went off on a tangent, but I think yeah, I have great
faith that whatever comes up ismeant to come up for whoever
(43:41):
needs to hear it.
So I hope that landed for youand look forward to having you
on again soon amazing thanks forhaving me proud of you for
doing this today thanks.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode of the sober
chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
(44:01):
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on, and if
you send me a screenshot ofthat review to dd at
soberchapterscom, I will put youinto the mix of winning a free
(44:24):
one-on-one coaching session withme.
If you would like to learn moreabout sober chapters and to
follow along on instagram it'ssober underscore chapters you'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching,
(44:52):
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
(45:14):
I can.
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