September 6, 2024 • 42 mins
Talk about being thrown into the deep end!!
Today's episode features a surprise recording of what was meant to be the very first episode of The Sober Chapters Podcast over a year ago when I was only 13 months into my Sober Chapter. In this episode my good friend Jo Gibb helped me confront my fears head-on by tricking me into my first ever interview.
We dive into my early encounters with alcohol, the highs and lows of partying, and the realisation that a sober chapter was the key to unlocking immense personal growth and freedom. This raw and emotional conversation captures the essence of my early struggles, shedding light on the origins of the Sober Chapters and this podcast.
Throughout this episode, we take a deep look at the pivotal moments that led to my sober chapter. From initial steps in 2017-2018, influenced by personal development gurus like Tony Robbins and spiritual guides such as Gabby Bernstein, to the cycles of mindful drinking and hangovers, every phase brought new lessons.
We also discuss how symbolic signs and spiritual guidance, including the recurring number 69, played a crucial role in reinforcing my commitment to a sober lifestyle.
We discuss the profound impact of sobriety on various aspects of life and how removing alcohol significantly boosts productivity and motivation at work, leading to increased earnings and opportunities for self-investment in areas like coaching and personal development.
There are so many juicy topics covered in this special episode including my patterns I was stuck in with the opposite sex as well as sober dating.
Thank you for being here and for being a part of The Sober Chapters Community.
LINKS/RESOURCES
Follow Didi @ sober_chapters on Instagram
Website for more information on Didi and her services/coaching programs available at www.soberchapters.com
FREE GUIDE: 69 Tips, Tricks & Resources to assist you during your own sober chapter available via the link on sober_chapters and via the sober chapters website.
If you enjoyed listening please rate, review and subscribe to enable the messages to be spread as far and wide as possible.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober-curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel I'm so grateful that
you're here.
Hey everybody, welcome toanother episode of the Sober
(01:07):
Chapters podcast.
So I'm just going to start offby saying today's episode is a
little bit different.
I actually found on my phone arecording of what was meant to
be my very first episode of thiswhole podcast and it was over a
year ago and I wasprocrastinating and
(01:27):
procrastinating and I reallywanted to release and launch the
Sober Chapters podcast, but Iwas so scared and I kept putting
it off, and I'm really gratefulto a very good friend of mine
called Joe Gibb who actuallykind of tricked me into my first
ever episode and it didn't endup being my first ever episode
(01:49):
because I procrastinated alittle longer but I found this
recording and it was at 13months, alcohol free, so it was
over a year ago, and I justlistened to it on a walk and it
made me a little bit emotionalactually, just to see quite how
far I've come on this journeyand you know how many more fears
(02:09):
I faced and how much SoberChapters has grown in that time.
And I think it would be reallygreat for all of you to hear a
little bit more about my story,because my friend she actually
tricks me into doing the firstever episode by interviewing me
and just putting me on the spotand you'll hear the panic in my
voice at the beginning and I'veleft it completely unedited
(02:31):
because it's actually reallyspecial, like how it turned out
and the fact that I've justlistened to it again now and
it's it's just such a greatmemory of how I have found this
whole path and how I was goingduring my own sober chapter as
well.
So I hope you enjoy it.
I hope you get lots from it.
There's sober dating, there'smore about my own journey and
(02:53):
why I decided to do a chapterand, yeah, lots of other really
great things, so enjoy.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
There you go, I can hear us, and then you just start
off.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Can I speak to?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
you Just speak to me.
But I would.
I'd do an intro first.
Don't worry, you can go back onit as well.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I don't even know what to say, like hi, I'm Dee,
dee, yeah, so hi, I'm Dee um,from Sober Chapters.
I have just come down to myfriend's podcast studio in in
Perth and thought I was going tobe practicing some interview
questions and turns out this isactually going to be my first
(03:39):
podcast episode and I've askedmy good friend Jo to run through
a few questions like for me,because she knows me pretty well
and knows my backstory andwould be in a good position to,
yeah, get the information out ofme that I think everybody needs
to hear about my story and whyI'm doing this.
Sober chapter.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Awesome, nothing like throwing you in the deep end.
She thought she was going tocome in with a few questions.
I always said this that betteroff be your first episode.
So thank you for asking me tointerview you.
It's a pleasure, and, um, notonly that.
I just want to say I'm reallyproud of your journey and I
think that it's really importantthat you're getting this out
there.
(04:18):
And, um, I know that only a fewmonths ago, this wasn't even in
existence, and now you've doneso much, so I'm excited for you,
but I'm excited for thelisteners as well.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Thanks, jo, I really appreciate it.
And you know, look, this isobviously a fear of mine.
I have had a fear of publicspeaking and putting my story
out there, and so this is areally good practice and, yeah,
I really appreciate you doingthis for me.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Right, let's kick off .
So you have removed alcoholfrom your life for the last 12
months plus.
Where did it all begin?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay.
So my relationship with alcoholhas been, yeah, an interesting
one.
I've never had any dependencyas such, but there's definitely
been some interesting times overthe years with it and I guess I
was born into a family that youknow alcohol was very
glamorized.
I think I was given my firstglass of champagne like eight or
(05:14):
nine years old, which is crazy,but it was really fun.
You know, we had some greattimes it.
It brought us all together as afamily like.
I have really good memories ofall the celebrations over the
years and I think that my dadthought he was doing me a favor
by giving me alcohol at such ayoung age because I think he
thought that, you know, Iwouldn't then go off and get
drunk and end up in the bushesand all the rest of it.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
But you ended up doing that anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah, it actually meant that I could just handle
my drink really well and youknow, I had a really good
affiliation with it.
So I drank a lot in my teensand I drank a lot in my in my
twenties.
But luckily for me, like I alsohad like a really good work
ethic, so I always worked reallyhard as well as partying hard,
(05:58):
and I always had a boyfriend aswell.
So I feel like the work elementand then the the part, and then
the boyfriend, boyfriend keptme on straight and narrow and
that was kind of how I rolleduntil my late 20s.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
And then what happened?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
What's next?
So in my late 20s I actuallysettled down with a long-term
partner and my career was takingoff.
I was working in recruitmentfor a global recruitment company
and we're starting to makeinternational moves with that,
and so I'd really settled downand focus from that point of
(06:35):
view and then had met along-term partner that I, you
know, thought would be myforever partner and we basically
I got, I got offered to comeover to Australia when I was 31,
32.
And he was going to come withme and we were coming over to
live the Australian dream.
And I really thought that, youknow, I had everything sorted,
all the boxes ticked that you'resupposed to at that age.
(06:56):
And yeah, I was really, reallyexcited.
And when we got here, thingsjust didn't turn out the way
that we'd planned.
My partner at the time like hecouldn't settle, he didn't turn
out the way that we'd planned.
Um, my partner at the time likehe couldn't settle, he didn't,
he didn't find work here andactually the company that had
brought me over that I'd beenwith for seven years they
actually pulled out of theAsia-Pacific market six months
into me being in in Australiaand so suddenly those two
(07:17):
anchors that I had always had,they were gone, and that was the
start of a really rocky timefor me emotionally and I think
actually this is around the timeI think that we both met.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
So I think, um, yeah, I remember we my husband and I
moved into my mum's housebecause we just rented out our
property to do our HMO strategyon there and we moved in with
her for a bit and I came homeone night and you were stood in
my mum's kitchen with glass ofwine in your hand and your gas
(07:49):
had gone.
Um had broken in the apartment.
You were in the same apartmentbuilding as my mum yeah, so you
came down, knocked on her doorand was like can I use your gas?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
and then you were there all night just chatting,
and that being the first time Imet you oh, your mum was amazing
because I had moved into thatapartment with my ex.
That was my first apartment inPerth and I would go up and have
a glass of wine with your mumand she would look after me and
she always said you'll get on sowell with my daughter.
And then here we are, yeah butit was.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It was always a glass of wine in hand, and I think
it's interesting and we'llprobably jump around a little
bit, but we always knew you asum you know.
You know I'd go for a drinkwith you, or we'd always walk
past the winds of pub and thereyou'd be in it.
So now, looking back at that,or when you said that this is a
journey you were going to go on,we were all a little bit
shocked because we thought isthis something?
(08:37):
This is like diddy's main thing, right?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
this is what she is.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
She's surrounded herself in that.
But, um, yeah, I don't feellike you've changed at all.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I feel, if anything, you've just got brighter, which
is awesome yeah, yeah, that'show I feel and I think the thing
is like I say like I didn'thave this like crazy dependency
on alcohol or anything like that, but my hangovers, well, I
guess, like when I, when I gothere and I that happened in my
early 30s I felt a lot of shame,like a huge amount of shame,
(09:06):
and that's when I started to getlike really in my head and
that's where, like, even just afew wines would really affect me
mentally the next day and youknow, I had all the shame of
being single, like startingagain, like naturally I was
going out and trying to makefriends, so I was drinking a lot
and I just suddenly thoughtlike I don't want to be going
out passing and drinking hard.
In my thirties I worked inrecruitment.
I ended up going to this othercompany after my other company
(09:28):
pulled out and that was likereally bad influence on me of
really vulnerable time.
There was a lot of young guysand you know I was recently
single and I was trying to goout and keep up with them and
then feel all the shame the nextday and it just wasn't good
Like them and then feel all theshame the next day and it just
wasn't good, like I wasn't.
I don't think I realized howmuch of a bad place I was
(09:50):
actually in until now.
I look back at photos of thatyear or those couple of years
and it actually makes me alittle bit emotional to see like
how, you know, I just lookedunhappy behind the eyes, you
know, I just I was so full offear, like fear of aging, fear
of fear of being alone, likejust the whole thing, like I was
so in my head it was, yeah, itwas crazy, and I just felt so
stuck in groundhog day as welland when did you feel like you
(10:12):
recognized that alcohol wasactually um, being a big driver,
as to why you were feeling theway you were when you woke up
the next morning or so I thinkagain, like in my, in my 20s,
I'd be able to go work hard,party hard.
I worked in recruitment, thatwas kind of what we did and I'd
literally be able to go out on aFriday with a partner, with my
boyfriend, and then, you know,party all weekend and feel fine
(10:32):
on like a Monday Tuesday.
But then in my early 30s, liketrying to do that again, like I
just couldn't do it.
So if I had a big night on aFriday or a Saturday, I would
just feel completely soulless onlike a Monday, tuesday in work.
And, yeah, it became, it becamereally obvious that like, cause
I'm quite an outgoing,extroverted, positive person and
(10:54):
I work in sales, if I was satthere feeling like, you know,
I'd had a big weekend, it wouldtake me until like a Wednesday
to recover and I would sit therefeeling stuck, feeling like it
wasn't the job for me, likepanicking about like my KPIs and
my figures and just oh, it wasawful.
But then obviously, like byWednesday I'd be feeling okay
again and then Thursday I'd be,you know, probably having a few
(11:16):
wines and it was, like you know,on repeat every week.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It was just that literally groundhog day but I
feel like so many people aregoing to resonate with this
right, because I know we can'tlike you know I'm in my 30s.
I know that by the time Iturned 30 it was just this
different probably not bang on30, but yeah, from what you
could you were able to do.
You could go out all weekendand still be productive the next
week, when now we I absolutelycan't, and I think a lot of
(11:42):
people it's an age thing, but Ithink for you it was probably
just even more than that right.
It was just about how you wereum viewing yourself internally,
because I think sometimes, likealcohol can, um you know,
heighten things and make thingsmore of an awareness yeah, yeah,
exactly that.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Like I felt.
Like I felt like I'd be, likeit would exacerbate the areas
where I felt behind in life andthat was in my career because
I'd had to start again withanother company, like I'd built
seven years up with, you know,the previous company that had
brought me out here and then Iwas starting again.
And then, like I say, I wasstarting again, but in like a
bit more of a like partyingmindset again and I just felt
(12:21):
all this shame and negativitythere.
And then, yeah, like you know,with the boyfriend thing being
single, like it was just, yeah,it was I felt really behind and,
like I say, a lot of shame andyeah, I guess, like I knew
something had to change.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
What was that point then?
Like when was this?
Was this a year ago, Was it waybefore that?
Have you attempted this before?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Like when was this?
Was this a year ago?
Was it way before that?
Have you attempted this before?
Like when was that kind ofchanging time for you?
Yeah, so I would say I wasactually I've been sober,
curious, for years, like foryears, like I I knew.
So I started doing detoxesaround that time.
Um, and and this is funny aswell, because my insecurities
were the fact that I didn't feelpretty enough.
I had this fear of aging andall of that, and I was really
into the gym Again, probably ananchor of mine, like I think I
was almost.
(13:10):
I put such a lot of value on myappearance that I was never
going to go off the rails withthe booze Like it was.
You know, it was almost anotherthing that managed to keep me
on the straight and narrow.
And they say, like you need tomake friends with your insec
insecurities now, um, becausethat actually is what started me
(13:30):
on this detox kind of like, youknow, I'd have like a month off
, I'd have two months off, I'dhave three months off and this
was, you know, back in maybe2017, 2018, and I would feel
like significantly better inthat time, but then I'd go back
to mindful drinking and then I'dhave a big night and it was
kind of like that.
You know, like pattern.
(13:51):
I suppose that I was in, but Iguess, um, what also happened in
2017, I believe or no, it was2018.
I found the world of personaldevelopment because I think I
just had enough, like I knewthat there had to be more to
life and I think I felt reallyguilty that I felt so unhappy
internally and I don't think alot of people would have known
on the outside because, you know, I had a good job and what
(14:14):
seemed like a good life inAustralia, but I actually felt
pretty dead inside a lot of thetime and I started really
searching for answers and I knewthere had to be more.
And I'm really lucky.
I have an older sister who'svery spiritual and she wanted me
to go to this Tony Robbinsevent with her.
I remember this Back in 2018.
Yeah, and I really think thiswas the start of the change for
(14:35):
me, and we went to this eventand I really remember him
talking about the wheel of lifeand spirituality.
I didn't even know what itmeant and I'm there with my
sister and she's meditating inthe bedroom and I'm just
thinking like I don't know anyof this and fast forward five
years and I've gone so down thatroad and it's brought me so
much peace and happiness andit's amazing to look back at
(14:56):
that journey.
But yeah, I started, I startedwith that, I took a lot from it,
and then I also then foundGabby Bernstein and I was doing
a lot of walking.
We had a walking challenge atwork at the beginning of 2019,
so I would listen to podcasts, Iwould listen to her book the
universe has your back.
I listened to the secret and itwas really opening up my mind
(15:16):
and I spent a lot of the timeactually feeling pretty positive
.
However, then I would have abig night and it would send me
back.
So it was just again this cycleand I just felt so much more
connected to myself as well whenI when I didn't drink and I
started seeing a lot of guidanceas well which I know you know
about this.
So I started seeing the number69 everywhere like crazy, like
(15:39):
on my battery phone, on likenumber plates, but even to the
point where every time I didn'tdrink it would show up so much.
I went to an alcohol-free drinksnight I think this was in like
2020, on one of my another longdetoxes that I was doing and I
just went and I thought I'll goand see if I can make some new
friends or at least throw myselfinto the alcohol-free world a
(16:01):
bit.
And I went to this alcohol-freetasting night and I went in and
I remember they gave me a ticket, like a bingo ticket at the
beginning, and I walked in andwent around and I just felt a
bit lonely, you know, like I wasthere on my own and I just
looked down at the ticket and itwas the number 69 and I
remember just getting goosebumpsall through my body and it was
like the universe is screamingat me to give up alcohol, like I
(16:23):
can just feel this is the rightpath for me.
And yeah, I look back at all ofthat and I find so much stuff
in my journals and everythingand it's like there were all
these signs for a very long time, but it wasn't until last year
that I finally knew that, yeah,I had to remove it long term.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So what was the first day?
Like, what did you do?
Did you sit down before?
It was like, right, tomorrow'sthe day, today's the day.
Like, how did you land on?
Because I know you've just Justgone past your 365 days.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, probably two weeks ago.
Yeah, 13 months now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahyeah.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So what was that day Like?
Can you remember?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, so I think I had gone back to Europe.
Sorry, did you set?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
out to it to be 365 days.
Like what did it look like?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
No, because it's actually the sober chapter is
until I'm 40, right.
So I was 38 last year and I hadjust gone back to England.
I'd been really homesick duringCOVID.
My boss is a legend in my dayjob in the company that I'm with
now and she said that I couldgo back to the UK and work from
the UK.
So I went back and because, likemy dad, I'd be around my dad
(17:23):
and all my family and I'd notbeen drinking in Australia.
But I thought there's no way Ican go back for the first time
after COVID and not drink and beamongst it, right?
So I went back and I did allthis travel and went around
Europe and, you know, saw myfamily and friends and,
naturally, was drinking againand I was trying to do it
mindfully so that I didn't get ahangover.
But I noticed it was startingto stop me being able to get up
early and do my Australian joband it was starting to slow me
(17:44):
down again with progress andthings like this.
And then I also got really inmy head about my appearance
again, because I was.
I was literally socializing thewhole time and you know we don't
bounce back like we did in our20s right, so I was having to go
to all these events and Iworried about the fact that, you
know, I was putting weights onor that my skin started looking
rubbish.
My diet wasn't as good, I wasn'texercising as much, so that
(18:05):
started to get.
I noticed that in my head againand I just thought to myself I
need to do a detox back here.
And it just keeps coming backto the fact that alcohol just
isn't, isn't good for me anymore, like I just it's not.
And so I actually went toAmsterdam with one of my best
friends to pick up her weddingdress and we had an espresso
martini in the morning after avery big weekend and I just said
(18:28):
this is going to be my lastdrink and I, ironically or not
ironically it was July the 4th,which is essentially freedom day
.
Right, and that is honestlythat's how I felt ever since I
removed it long term.
It's, it's, yeah, I feelcompletely free in so many ways
yeah so that was really cool.
So that was July the 4th, but Iat that point, like I said, I'm
(18:51):
38, I'm 40 in 22 months, whichyou know it's a huge milestone,
right.
And I just thought, if nothingchanges here, nothing changes
and I'm going to remove it andgo all in on all the personal
development stuff, all the, allthe fears and insecurities that
I still have, and you know,really, really see what I can
achieve in the next 22 months.
(19:12):
And I feel like I sort of likenegotiated with my ego really
and just went right.
If I remove it for a chapter,then you know it's not like I'm
giving up forever, Because ifsomeone said to me you can never
have another drink again, likeI think that would have scared
me, like forever sounded toomuch, and so that's what I've
done, but 13 months in, and Ireally don't think I'm going to
go back.
Yeah, I actually remember yousaying to me you know, I don't.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I want to get to a point where you know if I make
the right person.
I want to be able to sit andhave a glass of red wine and I
think it's just such a big thingto remove from you of what I
(19:55):
guess kind of culture.
Yeah, um, yeah.
So I remember your nervousnessaround it, but I remember, um,
you doing this and being in theUK and not drinking and I
thought oh, holy shit this isactually massive because that is
being around people that you'vegrown up with the drinking and
you.
you know we have differentcircles and there's some people
that are more supportive ofthese things than others.
(20:16):
You know I remember you sayingto me and you know my husband's
tried to give up alcohol acouple of times.
I had six months off.
The peer pressure around you,yeah, you go out like no one
trusts you if you're not havinga drink, or come on just have
the one, or like the pressurethat surrounds you with that,
especially with people that youyou know from drinking with
right.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
so when I saw that you were going sober in the UK,
I thought, yeah, she's reallyserious here yeah, yeah, for
sure, it was just like this deep, deep knowing, like it all just
suddenly added up.
It had been years and years inthe making, years of my
intuition like telling me, likeyears, all this guidance, and it
was just like.
It was almost like that, yeah,this voice really saying like,
(20:58):
if you remove alcohol, youreally can have it all, and it's
gonna make me a bit emotionaleven, but yeah, I feel like
that's what's happening and Ifeel like this was what I was
always supposed to do.
Yeah, um, yeah, I've, I've,yeah, actually like never felt
so happy.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yeah, and you can see it Like look how bright and
beaming you are, and I feel like.
I mean, you're not even justthriving, you know, physically,
emotionally, but you're thrivingat work Like you're smashing
goals.
I just want to go back toobviously you starting more in
that UK European environmentwhere alcohol is quite a big
thing anyway.
Yeah, um, what challenges didyou come up against?
(21:36):
Did you feel like at any pointin those, like the first few
months, that you know you couldhave been easily knocked off,
and what kind of challenges orresponses did you have to people
who tried to persuade you todrink, if you had?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
that.
Yeah, look, I think I was wellpracticed at the detoxing.
I think I'd done so many ofthem.
So I had actually a lot ofpractice over here in in
Australia, where when I becauseI, because I do work in
recruitment and there's so muchbooze associated with that with
our clients, with our, like youknow, incentive lunches and all
the rest of it, and I'd alwayshad a lot of the guys here and
(22:08):
they used to say, oh, are wegoing to get fun, claudia, or
boring Claudia?
And that was like a thing Iused to have to come up against
and I wasn't as strong in itback then, but I think by the
time I got to England and I knewto remove it, I was so strong
in what I was doing that it'salmost energetically something
that people just don't mess with.
Because, like, it was obviousthat I was doing it, because I
(22:28):
really wanted to do it, and Iwas almost becoming an expert in
not doing it from the all thedetoxes that I had done, and so,
yeah, no, I think, I think itactually wasn't too bad.
But, like, I threw myself intoall the events and I will say
that, you know, food becamereally helpful.
Yeah, sugar, like loads ofsugar, I think, because I was
going to weddings.
(22:49):
I went to, like, my friend thatI went to Amsterdam with.
We went to pick up her weddingdress, so I had her hen do in
Galway of all places.
So I went to Galway races on ahen do, sober, it was like that
was a challenging time.
Yeah, it was.
But I think I yeah, look atthat point I just, I just I did
the whole like heavy mocktailthing and you know, just threw
(23:12):
myself into it and I think I was, I was kind of like I said I
did feel free when I gave up.
It had been causing me a lot oflike inner turmoil.
I think I had this conflict fora long time about whether I was
a drinker or not.
I think I'd done so many breaksthat almost I almost didn't
know if I was a drinker or not,and so just to have made that
decision, I felt so free that Iwas almost on a bit of a high.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Yeah, and actually you took charge yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, and I think abstaining completely is
sometimes easier than you knowsaying you're just going to have
a couple, because you've alwaysgot that noise of like, oh, do
I drink, don't I drink.
What if I have a couple, have acouple, and then you know, I
get the taste for it and I havea few, and then I've got a
hangover the next day.
Or like what if I, you know,drive and then I have a couple
and then I leave the car andthen I'll be annoyed with myself
.
So it was all that innerchatter that I used to get.
(24:00):
And then obviously theappearance stuff, like that was
huge for me, like I was actuallybordering on the, the lines of
some kind of bodilessia in theend with it, like where when I
had drunk I couldn't look in themirror at times, and that was
really scary.
And so I think, like when Ifirst gave up, people used to
comment on the fact that my skinwas looking great and that I
seem really great, and that waskind of like quite, you know,
(24:20):
motivational, quite motivational.
But yeah, but then I learned alot about that, because going
past the three month mark thefirst time, which is what I'd
only ever done, was three months.
That's when all of thoseinsecurities came flooding back.
So it was like I had threemonths of feeling like euphoric,
sober glow like really yeah,really really great.
(24:41):
And then it was, and I alwaysthought alcohol was the answer
for that removing alcohol andthen I'm not going to feel those
insecurities anymore.
But then those insecuritiescame in and that was that was
tough, because it was like,actually these are the real
insecurities that I need toactually now work through and
push through that three-monthmark.
And that was kind of where thework began.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
If I'm honest, yeah, so have you had help along the
way?
Has there been external sourcesthat have helped you on this?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
yeah.
So one of the things I wanted todo was, you know, remove
alcohol and go all in in termsof learning about myself and
learning about my insecuritiesand learning about what's been
holding me back and getting tothe root cause of everything.
And again, that's why I'm amassive advocate for removing it
for a chapter in your life,because I think that when you
remove it, it removes the veiland you can kind of shine a
light on all of these shadowsthat you have and you can really
(25:27):
really get to know what'sactually going on underneath all
of that.
Because, even though I neverhad like a proper dependency, I
was drunk a lot, you know, I wasjust from social drinking, I
was numb and I, you know, Ididn't ever really properly feel
those feelings and you know, sothey, they would crop up, but
like I didn't know, I didn'treally know myself not properly.
And so I think by removing thealcohol, then doing the inner
(25:50):
work, that's where the progresshas just gone to the next level.
Because, yeah, you just get somuch more in touch with your
emotions and you have to feelall of them and they say, like
what is it?
I think I heard Gabby Bernsteinsay something recently.
You can't heal what you don'treveal.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Ah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, and I think if you are drinking without even
knowing it, you're you'remasking those emotions and those
feelings and you're not gettingto the bottom of the root cause
.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So talk a little bit about then those um, the courses
, or or the people who werearound you that helped you
support to identify, I guess,those insecurities, or what did
you go on?
What did you do?
Yeah, I've done.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I've done a lot of stuff right Over the years.
I've done a lot of stuff rightover the years.
I've done a lot of stuff andI've tried to understand my
patterns and my behaviors withvarious different people and
actually you guys have helped mehugely, um, you've been a
massive part of my journey.
So thank you.
But I guess it started.
There's so much to cover.
(26:46):
There's so much to coverbecause obviously there's the
whole pattern thing when itcomes to relationships, like I'm
still single, right.
So I've been single for sixyears, and that was where you
guys introduced me to the Codeevent here in Australia, because
I think it was obvious thatthere was something going on,
like the reason why I was stillsingle.
I mean, I didn't think therewas, like I was convinced there
was nothing because I didn'treally have any major trauma.
(27:08):
That's the thing I didn't.
I didn't have anything that I'dbe like, right, yeah, that
needs to get sorted, but whatI've uncovered is a lot of
little traumas that accumulatedand so, yeah, so the code.
So the code event here in Perthwas amazing, which is, as you
know, like understanding allabout kind of I guess your
childhood and patterns from youknow the masculine and the
(27:29):
feminine and why you'veattracted the people that you've
attracted um so really deepdiving into that.
And then I was really reallylucky that the woman that runs
that, with her husband, marie,she became my coach yeah and so
when I went back to the UK, Iactually had her by my side and
she was the one actually thatnoticed that, you know, I would
be really, really positive, I'dbe making like progress in all
(27:51):
areas, and then I would have ahangover and I would really go
into my head again and that'salmost where I believe like the
ego was able to come in andreally take over.
Um was, like, you know, throughfear and everything when I was
hungover.
So that's another epiphany thatI had, another reason why I
knew it was time to remove itcompletely.
Yeah, so, yeah, so I had, I hadMarie as a coach, but then,
since I removed it, I've justgone all in with loads of
(28:13):
different things.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, that's awesome because I think you know
obviously listeners are going tobe really intrigued into every
little section of your story, soobviously there's probably a
episode for each each area yeah,I do want to touch on the first
time.
You went to the CORD event.
So Brett and Marie have beenmentors of ours for a few years
now.
We've been to quite a few ofthe events, which are awesome,
(28:34):
and I remember the day you wentand first day you were like, oh
Jo, this is awesome, this is sogood.
And then it was like, ohactually, I don't really think
there's much for me to to getout of this, um, and I remember
receiving a phone call saying doyou know what, jo?
I'm just I'm not going to goback in tomorrow.
Like you know, basically I'mClaudia, I've got my shit
together.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
No, one can reveal anything from me, and I was like
no, I really think you shouldgo.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I think because you're saying this, it's really
identifying that you need to goand you always had this bit of a
battle and then you went andyou had breakthroughs.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
But it was awesome to see I had built up this huge
shield, like there's no doubtabout it.
And this is what I'm sayingabout how, like I didn't really
know myself at all, I didn'tthink I had any patterns, I
didn't think I had any problems.
I also felt bad for the factthat I felt bad because I was
like I've had a really lovelychildhood, like my parents were,
I mean, look, I know now thatthere were things, but you know,
without going into too muchdetail, but for me I felt very
(29:31):
grateful, like I did.
I had, you know, I have veryfond memories.
So, yeah, I didn't.
I just didn't think I had likethat much to work on and it's
just yeah, there's been a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I think that's like.
I think that's so important,right?
Because everyone, even myself I, sit here and think now I don't
need to give up booze.
I don't drink that often andI'm fine when I do.
But then realistically I know,equally I have the mum guilt
instantly if I have a drink,because you know I shouldn't be
drinking, because I've got thislittle baby who's relying on me
and I think a lot of things thencome up.
So I think it's all in us alittle bit to be like it's not
(30:06):
for me, not, you know there'snothing, nothing wrong or
there's nothing deep down, but Ithink everyone's got something
they've always got a challengewith.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Well, I know now that that is my pattern.
So my pattern is to run, likewhen things get like difficult
or, you know, too hard to lookat, and yeah, I just I didn't
know, like I didn't know thatbefore and again, this has just
been the beauty of removingalcohol is that I understand
myself so much more and when Ido have those little wobbles or
(30:36):
I do try and run, then I cancatch myself and recognize it
and I'm just so much moreself-aware and that's been the
game changer, definitely, andit's kind of like I, you know,
again, again, the concept ofthis chapter is to, you know,
remove the alcohol, do like allthe work, but also just go all
in on facing these fears andthese insecurities.
(30:58):
And, you know, another areawhere you really helped me was
that, you know, five months agoI was absolutely petrified of
social media and you guys, I waslike I've got this concept of
this business page that I'mgoing to set up, and you were
both looking at me and going,yeah, right, okay, so go on,
show me like you know, get goingwith it and I was like
literally panicked in yourlounge, I remember.
And then I walked out of yourhouse and I drove down the road
(31:21):
and I saw a number plate withnumber 69 on it and I was like,
oh shit.
So, like, whenever I see thatnumber, I know that I'm on the
right path and I know that Ihave to keep going.
So I think it was the nextmorning that I did my first
Instagram video, and you knowthat was the start of it five
months ago, and you know, Icouldn't even look in a mirror
sometimes when I had one ofthese body dysmorphia attacks
(31:41):
that I would have, like Iliterally just couldn't even
look at myself.
And so the fact that I was ableto do a video and post it on
Instagram and what it's done forme and how it's like healed
some of these insecurities thatI have and don't get me wrong,
there's still loads of work todo, but it's like every time I
break through one of these fears, it's like it does heal a
(32:01):
little bit of it.
Yeah, and it's just incredibleand I just feel like I'm, you
know, becoming a better andbetter, like you know, less
scared version of me all thetime.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Well, every time we see you, you're like oh my God,
there's so much to say, there'sso much to tell you.
You're always beaming and it'sgorgeous to see.
I know.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
That's because it's you guys as well.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Probably not with everyone but yeah, do you want
to talk a little bit about thelast 12 months then?
So this 365 days are the 13months, like in a bit of a
snapshot, so you've gotobviously lots of areas you
could delve into.
Yeah, what do you feel?
Is there anything juicy?
What's happened like what'shappened in these last 12 months
?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
yeah.
So, god, honestly, like therehas been so much, I I struggle,
like I I talk a lot, I struggleto condense it.
I'm just going to, you know, gowith the flow.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
All right, I'm going to give you some.
Have you found a man in yourlife?
Speaker 1 (32:54):
No, but no, no, no, I will, I'll get there, I'll get
there.
So, firstly, I guess right.
So one of the major things thatwas amazing when I removed
alcohol is my productivity atwork.
So I actually had felt reallystuck in Groundhog Day for a
long time in recruitment and,you know, have been desperately
(33:14):
thinking that I wanted to moveout of it.
And I do now have this passionon the side, which is obviously
learning and doing the coachingand that, and that's kind of a
goal for me as well.
But because I've just been somuch better, you know I'm more
motivated.
I've ended up doing so well inmy day job, which then um
enabled me to.
You know, because it's acommission-based role, I earn a
(33:35):
lot more money than normal andI've been able to then invest in
myself.
So it's it's worked outamazingly and so I have invested
a lot more in in the coachingand the courses and everything
and just learning as much aboutmyself as possible and um, so
that that's been really good andthere's been a bit of travel.
That's gone as well on as well,um.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
But yes, no travel, but you're never here.
I called you judith chalmersthe other day and it's not.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
It's not for an australian um, but no, it
answers your question.
On the dating front, again,another fear.
So I, you know, I just resistedthe online dating apps
completely and I was also reallynervous about putting that I'd
removed alcohol.
And you know, I think youmentioned earlier that I used to
say to you when I meet a guy,like I'll go back to having a
(34:21):
glass of red wine on the sofaand things like this, because I
assumed that by being alcoholfree, I was like really limiting
, like the pool, no-transcript,get actually decent people
(34:59):
making the effort to ask aboutthis chapter that I'm, that I'm
doing, and you can just tellthat you know they're people
that I'm gonna, you know, get onwith.
Like at the end, I don't want aparty boy anymore anyway, and
who does, and if I'm, if I'm notdrinking, that's not going to
work.
So I think it is so much betterjust to be completely honest
about your situation and youknow why you're not drinking and
you know it's a lifestyle right.
(35:19):
So that's been awesome and I amgoing to do lots of sober
dating tips on my instagram pagebecause I've just I've loved it
and and I've gone all in on itand I've completely changed my
mindset around it and I seedating now as, like you know,
another area of growth and I'vekind of stopped being so selfish
with it as well.
Kind of I think I used to getreally scared not only of being
rejected but also rejecting them, and I used to think that you
(35:43):
know, you know, like you meetsomeone and there's no
connection straight away andit's bit like, oh well, actually
now, like I, I see that as anopportunity to kind of hold
space for them and be a part oftheir journey, even if it's not
me that's going to be with them,and I think there's a reason
that people meet.
I don't believe that there'sany coincidences, and so I think
when you switch it around likethat and you start to think
about you, know how you can helpthem and hold space for them,
(36:05):
and perhaps you know how theycan help you, because you get to
practice right and you get tosort of see yourself in that
situation and practice beinglike the most authentic version
of you, because that's somethingthat I wasn't when I drank,
particularly with men.
Um, I said to someone yesterdayin one of the coaching calls
that I did I I literally goingback to me thinking I didn't
have any patterns.
I actually used to act like aplayer and then wonder why I got
(36:29):
played quite literally and itwas like, again, I just had this
shield up and you know, it wasjust acting a certain type of
way when I drank and again, Ithink alcohol fueled those
patterns, fueled my ego, yeah,um, so, yeah, so sober dating's
been really cool.
I'm still single, but I'veactually had some really good
experiences recently and I'myeah, I'm happy to be patient
(36:50):
with it.
I really am, I'm relaxed about,I'm very excited about turning
40, um, which that in itself isincredible, because I was so
fearful of aging and I look backat this picture of me when I
was like 32, 33, and I was soscared of, yeah, like not being
pretty enough, being alone, allof these things, and then I
compare it to a picture of menow.
I actually probably lookyounger now and you know, it's
(37:12):
just so funny to think that backthen I had all those fears of
aging and I actually lookedolder, and now I don't care and
I probably look younger.
You know, it just goes to show,like when you look after the
inside, like the outside, ohabsolutely.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
You're bloody gorgeous.
You always have been, butyou're definitely more brighter
every day, that's for sure.
Before we go on to what's next,what's been your biggest
challenge over the last 12, 13months?
Speaker 1 (37:34):
biggest challenge.
That's been a good question.
I think things like this, jo, tobe honest with you, like I know
that I've got so muchexperience and so much to share
and so much to help people with,and I get really nervous, like
really nervous, like cripplingnerves which I'm now able to,
you know, identify and workthrough and face, and you know I
(37:57):
don't have the hangovers nowthat are like stopping me from
keep facing.
So I'm taking constant, likebaby steps, constant action to
do like more of this speaking,and you know even this is
helping me now.
So, thank you and, yeah, thinkI think that's it.
I think you know being able toshare my story and you know I'm
so happy that I'm going to dothis podcast and, you know, get
my message out there, because Ithink you know there's a lot of
(38:19):
people out there like me thatprobably wouldn't even consider
giving up forever or theywouldn't have considered that as
an option, and so actually, youknow my thoughts behind the
sober chapter thing is that ifyou remove alcohol for a chapter
in your life, you can reinventyour forever, and I really feel
that that's what's happening tome, to me now, so awesome yeah,
and what's next then?
(38:40):
so, lots going on.
Yeah, lots, lots moreinvestment in my own personal
development, because I thinkthat it's really important that
you know, the more I invest inmyself and my growth and my
understanding of myself, themore I can invest in, you know,
helping other people, and soI've got lots planned in that
space.
Um, obviously, doing thepodcast, I have got an amazing
(39:03):
business coach in America.
Um, I'm just about to becertified in a few different
modalities.
So, yeah, I'm officially goingto be an alcohol-free coach, nlp
practitioner, a mindset coachand a success coach.
And I've just started workingwith another amazing woman in
America on the moretrauma-informed side of things,
which I'm really excited about,because I think that will give
(39:26):
me, you know, much more of adeeper awareness and
understanding of my own andtherefore I can help others more
.
So that's all going on.
And I've got like a bigmastermind over in Palm Springs
that I'm going to be doing withall these other alcohol-free
women that you know have gottheir thing going on the other
side of the world.
So that's going to be anamazing networking opportunity
(39:46):
as well.
And then I've got the Codeevent in the kingdom in Bali
with you.
Oh no, you're not going to bethere.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
No, I'll be with you next year.
Yeah, I've got a seven monthold, but it's a bit harder.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
The like the next year, of course, of course.
So yeah, lots of travel, lotsof working on the coaching side
of things, and then I've justactually had the branding and
the website all kind of signedoff so.
I'll be able to offer thepackages that I have.
I have looked at doing forpeople and it's going to be
quite bespoke around people andtheir own journey with being
(40:18):
sober, because I guess somepeople are at different stages
to others.
Some people haven't even reallyrealized that it's a problem
yet and starting to be a littlebit curious about it.
Other people will have removedit and you know I want to help
take them to the next level withwhat they want to achieve.
And you know now, now, thatalcohol's not holding them back.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
So, yeah, quite a few different plans.
Yeah, it's so exciting and I'mso honestly, I absolutely love
watching the journey and yeah,you've come so far in 13 months
but so far in the last fewmonths, like it's been
absolutely awesome.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
So, um, yeah, I'll be definitely listening out on the
podcast for sure thanks, jo,and thanks for doing this and,
um, yeah, we'll see what comesnext.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode of the Sober
Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
(41:08):
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on, and if
you send me a screenshot ofthat review to
ddsoberchapterscom, I will putyou into the mix of winning a
(41:30):
free one-on-one coaching sessionwith me.
If you would like to learn moreabout sober chapters and to
follow along on instagram it'ssober underscore chapters you'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching,
(41:54):
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
(42:16):
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
Hello and welcome to the Sober Chapters podcast.
I am your host, dee Dee Jordan,and I'm so excited to be
sharing with you all of theincredible ways that removing
alcohol for a chapter willreinvent you forever.
You see, removing alcohol isabout so much more than removing
alcohol.
It's about immense personal andspiritual growth.
(00:22):
It's about discovering who youtruly are and about stepping out
of your patterns and into yourpurpose and your power.
Wherever you are on youralcohol-free or sober-curious
journey, this podcast is for you.
So grab yourself your favoritecuppa and come join me in a safe
(00:43):
space to listen, to share andto feel I'm so grateful that
you're here.
Hey everybody, welcome toanother episode of the Sober
(01:07):
Chapters podcast.
So I'm just going to start offby saying today's episode is a
little bit different.
I actually found on my phone arecording of what was meant to
be my very first episode of thiswhole podcast and it was over a
year ago and I wasprocrastinating and
(01:27):
procrastinating and I reallywanted to release and launch the
Sober Chapters podcast, but Iwas so scared and I kept putting
it off, and I'm really gratefulto a very good friend of mine
called Joe Gibb who actuallykind of tricked me into my first
ever episode and it didn't endup being my first ever episode
(01:49):
because I procrastinated alittle longer but I found this
recording and it was at 13months, alcohol free, so it was
over a year ago, and I justlistened to it on a walk and it
made me a little bit emotionalactually, just to see quite how
far I've come on this journeyand you know how many more fears
(02:09):
I faced and how much SoberChapters has grown in that time.
And I think it would be reallygreat for all of you to hear a
little bit more about my story,because my friend she actually
tricks me into doing the firstever episode by interviewing me
and just putting me on the spotand you'll hear the panic in my
voice at the beginning and I'veleft it completely unedited
(02:31):
because it's actually reallyspecial, like how it turned out
and the fact that I've justlistened to it again now and
it's it's just such a greatmemory of how I have found this
whole path and how I was goingduring my own sober chapter as
well.
So I hope you enjoy it.
I hope you get lots from it.
There's sober dating, there'smore about my own journey and
(02:53):
why I decided to do a chapterand, yeah, lots of other really
great things, so enjoy.
Speaker 2 (03:02):
There you go, I can hear us, and then you just start
off.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Can I speak to?
Speaker 2 (03:07):
you Just speak to me.
But I would.
I'd do an intro first.
Don't worry, you can go back onit as well.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
I don't even know what to say, like hi, I'm Dee,
dee, yeah, so hi, I'm Dee um,from Sober Chapters.
I have just come down to myfriend's podcast studio in in
Perth and thought I was going tobe practicing some interview
questions and turns out this isactually going to be my first
(03:39):
podcast episode and I've askedmy good friend Jo to run through
a few questions like for me,because she knows me pretty well
and knows my backstory andwould be in a good position to,
yeah, get the information out ofme that I think everybody needs
to hear about my story and whyI'm doing this.
Sober chapter.
Speaker 2 (03:58):
Awesome, nothing like throwing you in the deep end.
She thought she was going tocome in with a few questions.
I always said this that betteroff be your first episode.
So thank you for asking me tointerview you.
It's a pleasure, and, um, notonly that.
I just want to say I'm reallyproud of your journey and I
think that it's really importantthat you're getting this out
there.
(04:18):
And, um, I know that only a fewmonths ago, this wasn't even in
existence, and now you've doneso much, so I'm excited for you,
but I'm excited for thelisteners as well.
Speaker 1 (04:28):
Thanks, jo, I really appreciate it.
And you know, look, this isobviously a fear of mine.
I have had a fear of publicspeaking and putting my story
out there, and so this is areally good practice and, yeah,
I really appreciate you doingthis for me.
Speaker 2 (04:43):
Right, let's kick off .
So you have removed alcoholfrom your life for the last 12
months plus.
Where did it all begin?
Speaker 1 (04:52):
Okay.
So my relationship with alcoholhas been, yeah, an interesting
one.
I've never had any dependencyas such, but there's definitely
been some interesting times overthe years with it and I guess I
was born into a family that youknow alcohol was very
glamorized.
I think I was given my firstglass of champagne like eight or
(05:14):
nine years old, which is crazy,but it was really fun.
You know, we had some greattimes it.
It brought us all together as afamily like.
I have really good memories ofall the celebrations over the
years and I think that my dadthought he was doing me a favor
by giving me alcohol at such ayoung age because I think he
thought that, you know, Iwouldn't then go off and get
drunk and end up in the bushesand all the rest of it.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
But you ended up doing that anyway.
Speaker 1 (05:37):
Yeah, it actually meant that I could just handle
my drink really well and youknow, I had a really good
affiliation with it.
So I drank a lot in my teensand I drank a lot in my in my
twenties.
But luckily for me, like I alsohad like a really good work
ethic, so I always worked reallyhard as well as partying hard,
(05:58):
and I always had a boyfriend aswell.
So I feel like the work elementand then the the part, and then
the boyfriend, boyfriend keptme on straight and narrow and
that was kind of how I rolleduntil my late 20s.
Speaker 2 (06:12):
And then what happened?
Speaker 1 (06:14):
What's next?
So in my late 20s I actuallysettled down with a long-term
partner and my career was takingoff.
I was working in recruitmentfor a global recruitment company
and we're starting to makeinternational moves with that,
and so I'd really settled downand focus from that point of
(06:35):
view and then had met along-term partner that I, you
know, thought would be myforever partner and we basically
I got, I got offered to comeover to Australia when I was 31,
32.
And he was going to come withme and we were coming over to
live the Australian dream.
And I really thought that, youknow, I had everything sorted,
all the boxes ticked that you'resupposed to at that age.
(06:56):
And yeah, I was really, reallyexcited.
And when we got here, thingsjust didn't turn out the way
that we'd planned.
My partner at the time like hecouldn't settle, he didn't turn
out the way that we'd planned.
Um, my partner at the time likehe couldn't settle, he didn't,
he didn't find work here andactually the company that had
brought me over that I'd beenwith for seven years they
actually pulled out of theAsia-Pacific market six months
into me being in in Australiaand so suddenly those two
(07:17):
anchors that I had always had,they were gone, and that was the
start of a really rocky timefor me emotionally and I think
actually this is around the timeI think that we both met.
Speaker 2 (07:29):
So I think, um, yeah, I remember we my husband and I
moved into my mum's housebecause we just rented out our
property to do our HMO strategyon there and we moved in with
her for a bit and I came homeone night and you were stood in
my mum's kitchen with glass ofwine in your hand and your gas
(07:49):
had gone.
Um had broken in the apartment.
You were in the same apartmentbuilding as my mum yeah, so you
came down, knocked on her doorand was like can I use your gas?
Speaker 1 (07:58):
and then you were there all night just chatting,
and that being the first time Imet you oh, your mum was amazing
because I had moved into thatapartment with my ex.
That was my first apartment inPerth and I would go up and have
a glass of wine with your mumand she would look after me and
she always said you'll get on sowell with my daughter.
And then here we are, yeah butit was.
Speaker 2 (08:16):
It was always a glass of wine in hand, and I think
it's interesting and we'llprobably jump around a little
bit, but we always knew you asum you know.
You know I'd go for a drinkwith you, or we'd always walk
past the winds of pub and thereyou'd be in it.
So now, looking back at that,or when you said that this is a
journey you were going to go on,we were all a little bit
shocked because we thought isthis something?
(08:37):
This is like diddy's main thing, right?
Speaker 1 (08:41):
this is what she is.
Speaker 2 (08:42):
She's surrounded herself in that.
But, um, yeah, I don't feellike you've changed at all.
Speaker 1 (08:46):
I feel, if anything, you've just got brighter, which
is awesome yeah, yeah, that'show I feel and I think the thing
is like I say like I didn'thave this like crazy dependency
on alcohol or anything like that, but my hangovers, well, I
guess, like when I, when I gothere and I that happened in my
early 30s I felt a lot of shame,like a huge amount of shame,
(09:06):
and that's when I started to getlike really in my head and
that's where, like, even just afew wines would really affect me
mentally the next day and youknow, I had all the shame of
being single, like startingagain, like naturally I was
going out and trying to makefriends, so I was drinking a lot
and I just suddenly thoughtlike I don't want to be going
out passing and drinking hard.
In my thirties I worked inrecruitment.
I ended up going to this othercompany after my other company
(09:28):
pulled out and that was likereally bad influence on me of
really vulnerable time.
There was a lot of young guysand you know I was recently
single and I was trying to goout and keep up with them and
then feel all the shame the nextday and it just wasn't good
Like them and then feel all theshame the next day and it just
wasn't good, like I wasn't.
I don't think I realized howmuch of a bad place I was
(09:50):
actually in until now.
I look back at photos of thatyear or those couple of years
and it actually makes me alittle bit emotional to see like
how, you know, I just lookedunhappy behind the eyes, you
know, I just I was so full offear, like fear of aging, fear
of fear of being alone, likejust the whole thing, like I was
so in my head it was, yeah, itwas crazy, and I just felt so
stuck in groundhog day as welland when did you feel like you
(10:12):
recognized that alcohol wasactually um, being a big driver,
as to why you were feeling theway you were when you woke up
the next morning or so I thinkagain, like in my, in my 20s,
I'd be able to go work hard,party hard.
I worked in recruitment, thatwas kind of what we did and I'd
literally be able to go out on aFriday with a partner, with my
boyfriend, and then, you know,party all weekend and feel fine
(10:32):
on like a Monday Tuesday.
But then in my early 30s, liketrying to do that again, like I
just couldn't do it.
So if I had a big night on aFriday or a Saturday, I would
just feel completely soulless onlike a Monday, tuesday in work.
And, yeah, it became, it becamereally obvious that like, cause
I'm quite an outgoing,extroverted, positive person and
(10:54):
I work in sales, if I was satthere feeling like, you know,
I'd had a big weekend, it wouldtake me until like a Wednesday
to recover and I would sit therefeeling stuck, feeling like it
wasn't the job for me, likepanicking about like my KPIs and
my figures and just oh, it wasawful.
But then obviously, like byWednesday I'd be feeling okay
again and then Thursday I'd be,you know, probably having a few
(11:16):
wines and it was, like you know,on repeat every week.
Speaker 2 (11:19):
It was just that literally groundhog day but I
feel like so many people aregoing to resonate with this
right, because I know we can'tlike you know I'm in my 30s.
I know that by the time Iturned 30 it was just this
different probably not bang on30, but yeah, from what you
could you were able to do.
You could go out all weekendand still be productive the next
week, when now we I absolutelycan't, and I think a lot of
(11:42):
people it's an age thing, but Ithink for you it was probably
just even more than that right.
It was just about how you wereum viewing yourself internally,
because I think sometimes, likealcohol can, um you know,
heighten things and make thingsmore of an awareness yeah, yeah,
exactly that.
Speaker 1 (11:59):
Like I felt.
Like I felt like I'd be, likeit would exacerbate the areas
where I felt behind in life andthat was in my career because
I'd had to start again withanother company, like I'd built
seven years up with, you know,the previous company that had
brought me out here and then Iwas starting again.
And then, like I say, I wasstarting again, but in like a
bit more of a like partyingmindset again and I just felt
(12:21):
all this shame and negativitythere.
And then, yeah, like you know,with the boyfriend thing being
single, like it was just, yeah,it was I felt really behind and,
like I say, a lot of shame andyeah, I guess, like I knew
something had to change.
Speaker 2 (12:38):
What was that point then?
Like when was this?
Was this a year ago, Was it waybefore that?
Have you attempted this before?
Speaker 1 (12:50):
Like when was this?
Was this a year ago?
Was it way before that?
Have you attempted this before?
Like when was that kind ofchanging time for you?
Yeah, so I would say I wasactually I've been sober,
curious, for years, like foryears, like I I knew.
So I started doing detoxesaround that time.
Um, and and this is funny aswell, because my insecurities
were the fact that I didn't feelpretty enough.
I had this fear of aging andall of that, and I was really
into the gym Again, probably ananchor of mine, like I think I
was almost.
(13:10):
I put such a lot of value on myappearance that I was never
going to go off the rails withthe booze Like it was.
You know, it was almost anotherthing that managed to keep me
on the straight and narrow.
And they say, like you need tomake friends with your insec
insecurities now, um, becausethat actually is what started me
(13:30):
on this detox kind of like, youknow, I'd have like a month off
, I'd have two months off, I'dhave three months off and this
was, you know, back in maybe2017, 2018, and I would feel
like significantly better inthat time, but then I'd go back
to mindful drinking and then I'dhave a big night and it was
kind of like that.
You know, like pattern.
(13:51):
I suppose that I was in, but Iguess, um, what also happened in
2017, I believe or no, it was2018.
I found the world of personaldevelopment because I think I
just had enough, like I knewthat there had to be more to
life and I think I felt reallyguilty that I felt so unhappy
internally and I don't think alot of people would have known
on the outside because, you know, I had a good job and what
(14:14):
seemed like a good life inAustralia, but I actually felt
pretty dead inside a lot of thetime and I started really
searching for answers and I knewthere had to be more.
And I'm really lucky.
I have an older sister who'svery spiritual and she wanted me
to go to this Tony Robbinsevent with her.
I remember this Back in 2018.
Yeah, and I really think thiswas the start of the change for
(14:35):
me, and we went to this eventand I really remember him
talking about the wheel of lifeand spirituality.
I didn't even know what itmeant and I'm there with my
sister and she's meditating inthe bedroom and I'm just
thinking like I don't know anyof this and fast forward five
years and I've gone so down thatroad and it's brought me so
much peace and happiness andit's amazing to look back at
(14:56):
that journey.
But yeah, I started, I startedwith that, I took a lot from it,
and then I also then foundGabby Bernstein and I was doing
a lot of walking.
We had a walking challenge atwork at the beginning of 2019,
so I would listen to podcasts, Iwould listen to her book the
universe has your back.
I listened to the secret and itwas really opening up my mind
(15:16):
and I spent a lot of the timeactually feeling pretty positive
.
However, then I would have abig night and it would send me
back.
So it was just again this cycleand I just felt so much more
connected to myself as well whenI when I didn't drink and I
started seeing a lot of guidanceas well which I know you know
about this.
So I started seeing the number69 everywhere like crazy, like
(15:39):
on my battery phone, on likenumber plates, but even to the
point where every time I didn'tdrink it would show up so much.
I went to an alcohol-free drinksnight I think this was in like
2020, on one of my another longdetoxes that I was doing and I
just went and I thought I'll goand see if I can make some new
friends or at least throw myselfinto the alcohol-free world a
(16:01):
bit.
And I went to this alcohol-freetasting night and I went in and
I remember they gave me a ticket, like a bingo ticket at the
beginning, and I walked in andwent around and I just felt a
bit lonely, you know, like I wasthere on my own and I just
looked down at the ticket and itwas the number 69 and I
remember just getting goosebumpsall through my body and it was
like the universe is screamingat me to give up alcohol, like I
(16:23):
can just feel this is the rightpath for me.
And yeah, I look back at all ofthat and I find so much stuff
in my journals and everythingand it's like there were all
these signs for a very long time, but it wasn't until last year
that I finally knew that, yeah,I had to remove it long term.
Speaker 2 (16:38):
So what was the first day?
Like, what did you do?
Did you sit down before?
It was like, right, tomorrow'sthe day, today's the day.
Like, how did you land on?
Because I know you've just Justgone past your 365 days.
Speaker 1 (16:48):
Yeah, probably two weeks ago.
Yeah, 13 months now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahyeah.
Speaker 2 (16:53):
So what was that day Like?
Can you remember?
Speaker 1 (16:56):
Yeah, so I think I had gone back to Europe.
Sorry, did you set?
Speaker 2 (17:00):
out to it to be 365 days.
Like what did it look like?
Speaker 1 (17:02):
No, because it's actually the sober chapter is
until I'm 40, right.
So I was 38 last year and I hadjust gone back to England.
I'd been really homesick duringCOVID.
My boss is a legend in my dayjob in the company that I'm with
now and she said that I couldgo back to the UK and work from
the UK.
So I went back and because, likemy dad, I'd be around my dad
(17:23):
and all my family and I'd notbeen drinking in Australia.
But I thought there's no way Ican go back for the first time
after COVID and not drink and beamongst it, right?
So I went back and I did allthis travel and went around
Europe and, you know, saw myfamily and friends and,
naturally, was drinking againand I was trying to do it
mindfully so that I didn't get ahangover.
But I noticed it was startingto stop me being able to get up
early and do my Australian joband it was starting to slow me
(17:44):
down again with progress andthings like this.
And then I also got really inmy head about my appearance
again, because I was.
I was literally socializing thewhole time and you know we don't
bounce back like we did in our20s right, so I was having to go
to all these events and Iworried about the fact that, you
know, I was putting weights onor that my skin started looking
rubbish.
My diet wasn't as good, I wasn'texercising as much, so that
(18:05):
started to get.
I noticed that in my head againand I just thought to myself I
need to do a detox back here.
And it just keeps coming backto the fact that alcohol just
isn't, isn't good for me anymore, like I just it's not.
And so I actually went toAmsterdam with one of my best
friends to pick up her weddingdress and we had an espresso
martini in the morning after avery big weekend and I just said
(18:28):
this is going to be my lastdrink and I, ironically or not
ironically it was July the 4th,which is essentially freedom day
.
Right, and that is honestlythat's how I felt ever since I
removed it long term.
It's, it's, yeah, I feelcompletely free in so many ways
yeah so that was really cool.
So that was July the 4th, but Iat that point, like I said, I'm
(18:51):
38, I'm 40 in 22 months, whichyou know it's a huge milestone,
right.
And I just thought, if nothingchanges here, nothing changes
and I'm going to remove it andgo all in on all the personal
development stuff, all the, allthe fears and insecurities that
I still have, and you know,really, really see what I can
achieve in the next 22 months.
(19:12):
And I feel like I sort of likenegotiated with my ego really
and just went right.
If I remove it for a chapter,then you know it's not like I'm
giving up forever, Because ifsomeone said to me you can never
have another drink again, likeI think that would have scared
me, like forever sounded toomuch, and so that's what I've
done, but 13 months in, and Ireally don't think I'm going to
go back.
Yeah, I actually remember yousaying to me you know, I don't.
Speaker 2 (19:35):
I want to get to a point where you know if I make
the right person.
I want to be able to sit andhave a glass of red wine and I
think it's just such a big thingto remove from you of what I
(19:55):
guess kind of culture.
Yeah, um, yeah.
So I remember your nervousnessaround it, but I remember, um,
you doing this and being in theUK and not drinking and I
thought oh, holy shit this isactually massive because that is
being around people that you'vegrown up with the drinking and
you.
you know we have differentcircles and there's some people
that are more supportive ofthese things than others.
(20:16):
You know I remember you sayingto me and you know my husband's
tried to give up alcohol acouple of times.
I had six months off.
The peer pressure around you,yeah, you go out like no one
trusts you if you're not havinga drink, or come on just have
the one, or like the pressurethat surrounds you with that,
especially with people that youyou know from drinking with
right.
Speaker 1 (20:36):
so when I saw that you were going sober in the UK,
I thought, yeah, she's reallyserious here yeah, yeah, for
sure, it was just like this deep, deep knowing, like it all just
suddenly added up.
It had been years and years inthe making, years of my
intuition like telling me, likeyears, all this guidance, and it
was just like.
It was almost like that, yeah,this voice really saying like,
(20:58):
if you remove alcohol, youreally can have it all, and it's
gonna make me a bit emotionaleven, but yeah, I feel like
that's what's happening and Ifeel like this was what I was
always supposed to do.
Yeah, um, yeah, I've, I've,yeah, actually like never felt
so happy.
Speaker 2 (21:13):
Yeah, and you can see it Like look how bright and
beaming you are, and I feel like.
I mean, you're not even justthriving, you know, physically,
emotionally, but you're thrivingat work Like you're smashing
goals.
I just want to go back toobviously you starting more in
that UK European environmentwhere alcohol is quite a big
thing anyway.
Yeah, um, what challenges didyou come up against?
(21:36):
Did you feel like at any pointin those, like the first few
months, that you know you couldhave been easily knocked off,
and what kind of challenges orresponses did you have to people
who tried to persuade you todrink, if you had?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
that.
Yeah, look, I think I was wellpracticed at the detoxing.
I think I'd done so many ofthem.
So I had actually a lot ofpractice over here in in
Australia, where when I becauseI, because I do work in
recruitment and there's so muchbooze associated with that with
our clients, with our, like youknow, incentive lunches and all
the rest of it, and I'd alwayshad a lot of the guys here and
(22:08):
they used to say, oh, are wegoing to get fun, claudia, or
boring Claudia?
And that was like a thing Iused to have to come up against
and I wasn't as strong in itback then, but I think by the
time I got to England and I knewto remove it, I was so strong
in what I was doing that it'salmost energetically something
that people just don't mess with.
Because, like, it was obviousthat I was doing it, because I
(22:28):
really wanted to do it, and Iwas almost becoming an expert in
not doing it from the all thedetoxes that I had done, and so,
yeah, no, I think, I think itactually wasn't too bad.
But, like, I threw myself intoall the events and I will say
that, you know, food becamereally helpful.
Yeah, sugar, like loads ofsugar, I think, because I was
going to weddings.
(22:49):
I went to, like, my friend thatI went to Amsterdam with.
We went to pick up her weddingdress, so I had her hen do in
Galway of all places.
So I went to Galway races on ahen do, sober, it was like that
was a challenging time.
Yeah, it was.
But I think I yeah, look atthat point I just, I just I did
the whole like heavy mocktailthing and you know, just threw
(23:12):
myself into it and I think I was, I was kind of like I said I
did feel free when I gave up.
It had been causing me a lot oflike inner turmoil.
I think I had this conflict fora long time about whether I was
a drinker or not.
I think I'd done so many breaksthat almost I almost didn't
know if I was a drinker or not,and so just to have made that
decision, I felt so free that Iwas almost on a bit of a high.
Speaker 2 (23:34):
Yeah, and actually you took charge yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah, and I think abstaining completely is
sometimes easier than you knowsaying you're just going to have
a couple, because you've alwaysgot that noise of like, oh, do
I drink, don't I drink.
What if I have a couple, have acouple, and then you know, I
get the taste for it and I havea few, and then I've got a
hangover the next day.
Or like what if I, you know,drive and then I have a couple
and then I leave the car andthen I'll be annoyed with myself
.
So it was all that innerchatter that I used to get.
(24:00):
And then obviously theappearance stuff, like that was
huge for me, like I was actuallybordering on the, the lines of
some kind of bodilessia in theend with it, like where when I
had drunk I couldn't look in themirror at times, and that was
really scary.
And so I think, like when Ifirst gave up, people used to
comment on the fact that my skinwas looking great and that I
seem really great, and that waskind of like quite, you know,
(24:20):
motivational, quite motivational.
But yeah, but then I learned alot about that, because going
past the three month mark thefirst time, which is what I'd
only ever done, was three months.
That's when all of thoseinsecurities came flooding back.
So it was like I had threemonths of feeling like euphoric,
sober glow like really yeah,really really great.
(24:41):
And then it was, and I alwaysthought alcohol was the answer
for that removing alcohol andthen I'm not going to feel those
insecurities anymore.
But then those insecuritiescame in and that was that was
tough, because it was like,actually these are the real
insecurities that I need toactually now work through and
push through that three-monthmark.
And that was kind of where thework began.
Speaker 2 (25:00):
If I'm honest, yeah, so have you had help along the
way?
Has there been external sourcesthat have helped you on this?
Speaker 1 (25:05):
yeah.
So one of the things I wanted todo was, you know, remove
alcohol and go all in in termsof learning about myself and
learning about my insecuritiesand learning about what's been
holding me back and getting tothe root cause of everything.
And again, that's why I'm amassive advocate for removing it
for a chapter in your life,because I think that when you
remove it, it removes the veiland you can kind of shine a
light on all of these shadowsthat you have and you can really
(25:27):
really get to know what'sactually going on underneath all
of that.
Because, even though I neverhad like a proper dependency, I
was drunk a lot, you know, I wasjust from social drinking, I
was numb and I, you know, Ididn't ever really properly feel
those feelings and you know, sothey, they would crop up, but
like I didn't know, I didn'treally know myself not properly.
And so I think by removing thealcohol, then doing the inner
(25:50):
work, that's where the progresshas just gone to the next level.
Because, yeah, you just get somuch more in touch with your
emotions and you have to feelall of them and they say, like
what is it?
I think I heard Gabby Bernsteinsay something recently.
You can't heal what you don'treveal.
Speaker 2 (26:05):
Ah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, and I think if you are drinking without even
knowing it, you're you'remasking those emotions and those
feelings and you're not gettingto the bottom of the root cause
.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
So talk a little bit about then those um, the courses
, or or the people who werearound you that helped you
support to identify, I guess,those insecurities, or what did
you go on?
What did you do?
Yeah, I've done.
Speaker 1 (26:25):
I've done a lot of stuff right Over the years.
I've done a lot of stuff rightover the years.
I've done a lot of stuff andI've tried to understand my
patterns and my behaviors withvarious different people and
actually you guys have helped mehugely, um, you've been a
massive part of my journey.
So thank you.
But I guess it started.
There's so much to cover.
(26:46):
There's so much to coverbecause obviously there's the
whole pattern thing when itcomes to relationships, like I'm
still single, right.
So I've been single for sixyears, and that was where you
guys introduced me to the Codeevent here in Australia, because
I think it was obvious thatthere was something going on,
like the reason why I was stillsingle.
I mean, I didn't think therewas, like I was convinced there
was nothing because I didn'treally have any major trauma.
(27:08):
That's the thing I didn't.
I didn't have anything that I'dbe like, right, yeah, that
needs to get sorted, but whatI've uncovered is a lot of
little traumas that accumulatedand so, yeah, so the code.
So the code event here in Perthwas amazing, which is, as you
know, like understanding allabout kind of I guess your
childhood and patterns from youknow the masculine and the
(27:29):
feminine and why you'veattracted the people that you've
attracted um so really deepdiving into that.
And then I was really reallylucky that the woman that runs
that, with her husband, marie,she became my coach yeah and so
when I went back to the UK, Iactually had her by my side and
she was the one actually thatnoticed that, you know, I would
be really, really positive, I'dbe making like progress in all
(27:51):
areas, and then I would have ahangover and I would really go
into my head again and that'salmost where I believe like the
ego was able to come in andreally take over.
Um was, like, you know, throughfear and everything when I was
hungover.
So that's another epiphany thatI had, another reason why I
knew it was time to remove itcompletely.
Yeah, so, yeah, so I had, I hadMarie as a coach, but then,
since I removed it, I've justgone all in with loads of
(28:13):
different things.
Speaker 2 (28:13):
Yeah, that's awesome because I think you know
obviously listeners are going tobe really intrigued into every
little section of your story, soobviously there's probably a
episode for each each area yeah,I do want to touch on the first
time.
You went to the CORD event.
So Brett and Marie have beenmentors of ours for a few years
now.
We've been to quite a few ofthe events, which are awesome,
(28:34):
and I remember the day you wentand first day you were like, oh
Jo, this is awesome, this is sogood.
And then it was like, ohactually, I don't really think
there's much for me to to getout of this, um, and I remember
receiving a phone call saying doyou know what, jo?
I'm just I'm not going to goback in tomorrow.
Like you know, basically I'mClaudia, I've got my shit
together.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
No, one can reveal anything from me, and I was like
no, I really think you shouldgo.
Speaker 2 (28:57):
I think because you're saying this, it's really
identifying that you need to goand you always had this bit of a
battle and then you went andyou had breakthroughs.
Speaker 1 (29:11):
But it was awesome to see I had built up this huge
shield, like there's no doubtabout it.
And this is what I'm sayingabout how, like I didn't really
know myself at all, I didn'tthink I had any patterns, I
didn't think I had any problems.
I also felt bad for the factthat I felt bad because I was
like I've had a really lovelychildhood, like my parents were,
I mean, look, I know now thatthere were things, but you know,
without going into too muchdetail, but for me I felt very
(29:31):
grateful, like I did.
I had, you know, I have veryfond memories.
So, yeah, I didn't.
I just didn't think I had likethat much to work on and it's
just yeah, there's been a lot.
Speaker 2 (29:42):
I think that's like.
I think that's so important,right?
Because everyone, even myself I, sit here and think now I don't
need to give up booze.
I don't drink that often andI'm fine when I do.
But then realistically I know,equally I have the mum guilt
instantly if I have a drink,because you know I shouldn't be
drinking, because I've got thislittle baby who's relying on me
and I think a lot of things thencome up.
So I think it's all in us alittle bit to be like it's not
(30:06):
for me, not, you know there'snothing, nothing wrong or
there's nothing deep down, but Ithink everyone's got something
they've always got a challengewith.
Speaker 1 (30:13):
Well, I know now that that is my pattern.
So my pattern is to run, likewhen things get like difficult
or, you know, too hard to lookat, and yeah, I just I didn't
know, like I didn't know thatbefore and again, this has just
been the beauty of removingalcohol is that I understand
myself so much more and when Ido have those little wobbles or
(30:36):
I do try and run, then I cancatch myself and recognize it
and I'm just so much moreself-aware and that's been the
game changer, definitely, andit's kind of like I, you know,
again, again, the concept ofthis chapter is to, you know,
remove the alcohol, do like allthe work, but also just go all
in on facing these fears andthese insecurities.
(30:58):
And, you know, another areawhere you really helped me was
that, you know, five months agoI was absolutely petrified of
social media and you guys, I waslike I've got this concept of
this business page that I'mgoing to set up, and you were
both looking at me and going,yeah, right, okay, so go on,
show me like you know, get goingwith it and I was like
literally panicked in yourlounge, I remember.
And then I walked out of yourhouse and I drove down the road
(31:21):
and I saw a number plate withnumber 69 on it and I was like,
oh shit.
So, like, whenever I see thatnumber, I know that I'm on the
right path and I know that Ihave to keep going.
So I think it was the nextmorning that I did my first
Instagram video, and you knowthat was the start of it five
months ago, and you know, Icouldn't even look in a mirror
sometimes when I had one ofthese body dysmorphia attacks
(31:41):
that I would have, like Iliterally just couldn't even
look at myself.
And so the fact that I was ableto do a video and post it on
Instagram and what it's done forme and how it's like healed
some of these insecurities thatI have and don't get me wrong,
there's still loads of work todo, but it's like every time I
break through one of these fears, it's like it does heal a
(32:01):
little bit of it.
Yeah, and it's just incredibleand I just feel like I'm, you
know, becoming a better andbetter, like you know, less
scared version of me all thetime.
Speaker 2 (32:10):
Well, every time we see you, you're like oh my God,
there's so much to say, there'sso much to tell you.
You're always beaming and it'sgorgeous to see.
I know.
Speaker 1 (32:19):
That's because it's you guys as well.
Speaker 2 (32:22):
Probably not with everyone but yeah, do you want
to talk a little bit about thelast 12 months then?
So this 365 days are the 13months, like in a bit of a
snapshot, so you've gotobviously lots of areas you
could delve into.
Yeah, what do you feel?
Is there anything juicy?
What's happened like what'shappened in these last 12 months
?
Speaker 1 (32:39):
yeah.
So, god, honestly, like therehas been so much, I I struggle,
like I I talk a lot, I struggleto condense it.
I'm just going to, you know, gowith the flow.
Speaker 2 (32:52):
All right, I'm going to give you some.
Have you found a man in yourlife?
Speaker 1 (32:54):
No, but no, no, no, I will, I'll get there, I'll get
there.
So, firstly, I guess right.
So one of the major things thatwas amazing when I removed
alcohol is my productivity atwork.
So I actually had felt reallystuck in Groundhog Day for a
long time in recruitment and,you know, have been desperately
(33:14):
thinking that I wanted to moveout of it.
And I do now have this passionon the side, which is obviously
learning and doing the coachingand that, and that's kind of a
goal for me as well.
But because I've just been somuch better, you know I'm more
motivated.
I've ended up doing so well inmy day job, which then um
enabled me to.
You know, because it's acommission-based role, I earn a
(33:35):
lot more money than normal andI've been able to then invest in
myself.
So it's it's worked outamazingly and so I have invested
a lot more in in the coachingand the courses and everything
and just learning as much aboutmyself as possible and um, so
that that's been really good andthere's been a bit of travel.
That's gone as well on as well,um.
Speaker 2 (33:52):
But yes, no travel, but you're never here.
I called you judith chalmersthe other day and it's not.
Speaker 1 (33:59):
It's not for an australian um, but no, it
answers your question.
On the dating front, again,another fear.
So I, you know, I just resistedthe online dating apps
completely and I was also reallynervous about putting that I'd
removed alcohol.
And you know, I think youmentioned earlier that I used to
say to you when I meet a guy,like I'll go back to having a
(34:21):
glass of red wine on the sofaand things like this, because I
assumed that by being alcoholfree, I was like really limiting
, like the pool, no-transcript,get actually decent people
(34:59):
making the effort to ask aboutthis chapter that I'm, that I'm
doing, and you can just tellthat you know they're people
that I'm gonna, you know, get onwith.
Like at the end, I don't want aparty boy anymore anyway, and
who does, and if I'm, if I'm notdrinking, that's not going to
work.
So I think it is so much betterjust to be completely honest
about your situation and youknow why you're not drinking and
you know it's a lifestyle right.
(35:19):
So that's been awesome and I amgoing to do lots of sober
dating tips on my instagram pagebecause I've just I've loved it
and and I've gone all in on itand I've completely changed my
mindset around it and I seedating now as, like you know,
another area of growth and I'vekind of stopped being so selfish
with it as well.
Kind of I think I used to getreally scared not only of being
rejected but also rejecting them, and I used to think that you
(35:43):
know, you know, like you meetsomeone and there's no
connection straight away andit's bit like, oh well, actually
now, like I, I see that as anopportunity to kind of hold
space for them and be a part oftheir journey, even if it's not
me that's going to be with them,and I think there's a reason
that people meet.
I don't believe that there'sany coincidences, and so I think
when you switch it around likethat and you start to think
about you, know how you can helpthem and hold space for them,
(36:05):
and perhaps you know how theycan help you, because you get to
practice right and you get tosort of see yourself in that
situation and practice beinglike the most authentic version
of you, because that's somethingthat I wasn't when I drank,
particularly with men.
Um, I said to someone yesterdayin one of the coaching calls
that I did I I literally goingback to me thinking I didn't
have any patterns.
I actually used to act like aplayer and then wonder why I got
(36:29):
played quite literally and itwas like, again, I just had this
shield up and you know, it wasjust acting a certain type of
way when I drank and again, Ithink alcohol fueled those
patterns, fueled my ego, yeah,um, so, yeah, so sober dating's
been really cool.
I'm still single, but I'veactually had some really good
experiences recently and I'myeah, I'm happy to be patient
(36:50):
with it.
I really am, I'm relaxed about,I'm very excited about turning
40, um, which that in itself isincredible, because I was so
fearful of aging and I look backat this picture of me when I
was like 32, 33, and I was soscared of, yeah, like not being
pretty enough, being alone, allof these things, and then I
compare it to a picture of menow.
I actually probably lookyounger now and you know, it's
(37:12):
just so funny to think that backthen I had all those fears of
aging and I actually lookedolder, and now I don't care and
I probably look younger.
You know, it just goes to show,like when you look after the
inside, like the outside, ohabsolutely.
Speaker 2 (37:24):
You're bloody gorgeous.
You always have been, butyou're definitely more brighter
every day, that's for sure.
Before we go on to what's next,what's been your biggest
challenge over the last 12, 13months?
Speaker 1 (37:34):
biggest challenge.
That's been a good question.
I think things like this, jo, tobe honest with you, like I know
that I've got so muchexperience and so much to share
and so much to help people with,and I get really nervous, like
really nervous, like cripplingnerves which I'm now able to,
you know, identify and workthrough and face, and you know I
(37:57):
don't have the hangovers nowthat are like stopping me from
keep facing.
So I'm taking constant, likebaby steps, constant action to
do like more of this speaking,and you know even this is
helping me now.
So, thank you and, yeah, thinkI think that's it.
I think you know being able toshare my story and you know I'm
so happy that I'm going to dothis podcast and, you know, get
my message out there, because Ithink you know there's a lot of
(38:19):
people out there like me thatprobably wouldn't even consider
giving up forever or theywouldn't have considered that as
an option, and so actually, youknow my thoughts behind the
sober chapter thing is that ifyou remove alcohol for a chapter
in your life, you can reinventyour forever, and I really feel
that that's what's happening tome, to me now, so awesome yeah,
and what's next then?
(38:40):
so, lots going on.
Yeah, lots, lots moreinvestment in my own personal
development, because I thinkthat it's really important that
you know, the more I invest inmyself and my growth and my
understanding of myself, themore I can invest in, you know,
helping other people, and soI've got lots planned in that
space.
Um, obviously, doing thepodcast, I have got an amazing
(39:03):
business coach in America.
Um, I'm just about to becertified in a few different
modalities.
So, yeah, I'm officially goingto be an alcohol-free coach, nlp
practitioner, a mindset coachand a success coach.
And I've just started workingwith another amazing woman in
America on the moretrauma-informed side of things,
which I'm really excited about,because I think that will give
(39:26):
me, you know, much more of adeeper awareness and
understanding of my own andtherefore I can help others more
.
So that's all going on.
And I've got like a bigmastermind over in Palm Springs
that I'm going to be doing withall these other alcohol-free
women that you know have gottheir thing going on the other
side of the world.
So that's going to be anamazing networking opportunity
(39:46):
as well.
And then I've got the Codeevent in the kingdom in Bali
with you.
Oh no, you're not going to bethere.
Speaker 2 (39:53):
No, I'll be with you next year.
Yeah, I've got a seven monthold, but it's a bit harder.
Speaker 1 (39:58):
The like the next year, of course, of course.
So yeah, lots of travel, lotsof working on the coaching side
of things, and then I've justactually had the branding and
the website all kind of signedoff so.
I'll be able to offer thepackages that I have.
I have looked at doing forpeople and it's going to be
quite bespoke around people andtheir own journey with being
(40:18):
sober, because I guess somepeople are at different stages
to others.
Some people haven't even reallyrealized that it's a problem
yet and starting to be a littlebit curious about it.
Other people will have removedit and you know I want to help
take them to the next level withwhat they want to achieve.
And you know now, now, thatalcohol's not holding them back.
Speaker 2 (40:37):
So, yeah, quite a few different plans.
Yeah, it's so exciting and I'mso honestly, I absolutely love
watching the journey and yeah,you've come so far in 13 months
but so far in the last fewmonths, like it's been
absolutely awesome.
Speaker 1 (40:47):
So, um, yeah, I'll be definitely listening out on the
podcast for sure thanks, jo,and thanks for doing this and,
um, yeah, we'll see what comesnext.
Yeah, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for listening totoday's episode of the Sober
Chapters podcast.
I hope you enjoyed it and gotlots of good information from it
(41:08):
.
I'm really keen to share thesemessages as far and wide as
possible, and I know howimportant it is to receive
reviews to do so.
If you're feeling called, Iwould love you to leave a review
from whatever platform it isthat you're listening on, and if
you send me a screenshot ofthat review to
ddsoberchapterscom, I will putyou into the mix of winning a
(41:30):
free one-on-one coaching sessionwith me.
If you would like to learn moreabout sober chapters and to
follow along on instagram it'ssober underscore chapters you'll
find lots of differentresources on there and a free
guide, 69 tips, tricks andresources for anyone that is
embarking on a sober chapter.
If you'd like to learn moreabout my one-on-one coaching,
(41:54):
group coaching programs andmasterminds, then please go to
wwwsoberchapterscom.
I'd also love to hear from you.
If you have any feedback or youneed any guidance or you have
anything at all you'd like toreach out to me about, then
please do email me at dd atsoberchapterscom.
(42:16):
I would love to hear from youand support you in any way that
I can.
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