September 6, 2020 • 26 mins
This week we talk about attitude. Your attitude can be your greatest asset or your greatest hinderance depending on what you choose to bring. We also talk about applying what you learn because you can read books all day on dancing, but unless you apply what you know you will never get better until you do it, same goes with social skills, there is a ton to learn but none of it is going to stick unless you actually talk to people and try out the things you are learning.
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Thank you!! - Nathan. : D
Recommended book - The Power of Now for learning how to Zen out and shrink your ego
Music by Wax Mustang
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Unknown (00:27):
Running away from the body I'm thinking much in the
back seat for the Powerball wecould do it
with the winning you know asgame top of sheets sing along,
man, and just when it couldn'tget better, she talked in my ear
saying you got the chin. Ah, yougot the juice, you have the
bison, you talking and walkingthe right way sundown on a
(00:49):
highway.
Talking and murder. Welcome backback to another episode of the
social skills lab.
I'm your host, Nathan almondsays episode number 11.
Again, the back of the building.
(01:12):
He sent you a friend that songwas Powerball by
wax Mustang added that lastweek.
It's good song, I like it.
Last week, we talked aboutbullying and having fun.
Couple things about bullying Iwanted to mention again, it's
(01:34):
almost impossible for someonewith lots of confidence and self
esteem tobe mean to another person. So
just remember that if someone'sactually like a bully, they
probably have low self esteem.
That's why if you havecompletely shrunk your ego, it's
very difficult for them to putyou down or verbally attack you
(01:56):
in any way because you don'treally care. And they're just
they don't have any self esteem.
So they're not going to be asthey're not going to be able to
spar with you verbally. Andthat's a difficult thing to
fake. So you really have to workon shrinking your ego. A couple
ways I did it. Like I mentionedI started meditating a lot,
(02:19):
started reading about Easternphilosophy and Zen really got
into Zen and like the doubt aChing and stuff like that. One
of the books that I read thatwas really, really good was the
Power of Now by Eckhart Tolly. Ifound the book right around the
same time I was getting anEastern philosophy. It's almost
like a Western version of Zen.
(02:43):
It was really good. It was areally good book to come across.
But he was basically a guy thatwas was like, at the end of his
wits, he had like almost amental breakdown. And in that
moment, and he discovered hebecame enlightened. Like he, he
became enlightened. And I'veread that before there's a
couple, that's one of the waysyou could become enlightened is
(03:05):
like becoming is like getting tothe edge of a mental breakdown.
It's kind of weird. I've never,I'm remember one time I had a
panic attack, but neverexperienced anything that was
extremely severe or anythinglike that. So that was I don't
know if if you have issues likethat. probably want to talk to a
(03:26):
professional. But I'd alsorecommend checking out some Zen
stuff, it's, it's really good toget a completely different
perspective on the art ofliving. One thing too about Zen
is there was this expressionthat I got from there, it was
thethe opposite of a profound truth
is another profound truth. Andthe kind of like, kind of mess
(03:50):
with me, I was like holy cow,like so anything that I think is
like, Oh, yeah, this this is thetruth. The exact opposite can
also be true.
Which means basically thatnothing is ultimately true.
Because if the opposite is alsotrue. There's really nothing to
like, Hang Hang my ego on. Like,if I think if I think that
(04:13):
something is happening, I'm liketrying to like figure out a
situation. I'm not going to belike completely convinced
because I'll know that no matterwhat I come up with the opposite
is probably also true becausethere's different levels, that
something can be true on. Like,let's say, I feel like right now
I'm sitting in my my desk, butyou know, I'm also flying
(04:34):
through space at like 100,000miles an hour. So which one is
it? You know, stuff like that.
Just keep that in mind.
Something that goes along withZen is very being completely
present in the moment. It's hardto do that sometimes. Like let's
say I have to take out the trashor I have to do my laundry. It's
gonna feel like a chore most ofthe time. One time I was in my
(04:58):
bathroom andI was washing my hands and I
just did like an extra big pumpof the soap. And it got on the
sink. So I was like, Okay, wellthis like washes off. So I
started like, wiping the sinkwith the soap. And then all
these said started forming. Andthen I was like, Well, I guess
I'll just wash the sink nowsince I got all this so. So I
started just like slowly likewashing the sink. And all these
(05:21):
said, started forming. And nextthing I knew I was completely
immersed in the, in the momentof watching the sink. And I just
like, so I was just gonna washthe sink. But next hand, no, I
totally cleaned the whole likecabinets and everything in the
mirror. I just became completelyimmersed into cleaning the sink,
and countertop and I'd scuttlethe suds and soap. And next
(05:46):
thing I knew, I felt a moment ofjoy doing it. And I'm like, holy
cow, this is this is what it isto be completely present. I can
enjoy doing something that'stechnically a chore.
I don't know, it's just a momentthat I thought was kind of
interesting. I'm like, this isthis is cool. This is what being
completely present means. Andeven thinking that kind of takes
(06:10):
you out of it. So anytime youactually like think about this,
like anytime you actually thinkabout the Dow, it actually takes
you out of it. It's kind ofweird to be completely present,
you can't even think about it,you just have to be.
But in that moment, I just kindof started feeling good. I felt
gratitude for being alive andstuff like that. That's pretty
interesting.
(06:31):
I'll put a link up on thedescription for the power of now
for you guys. It's pretty easyto find, but I'll just throw a
link up for you.
Also, last week, we talked abouthaving fun. Last week after the
after I recorded the episode. Iwent rafting with my brother and
my sister. And I gotta behonest, at first I was like, and
(06:53):
I really want to go because Ihad been rafting before.
And I really didn't like it. Itwas up in Alaska, because I had
worked up in Alaska for a couplesummers.
And we got comped a rafting tripfrom the hotel. So me and my
friends went rafting. And it waspretty cold, it was probably
about 50 degrees out, maybe 60degrees out and you're on a raft
(07:19):
on a river. And like within 20minutes, we hit a rapid in a
hole, just like mountain ofwater came into the raft and I
was soaked because I was rightup front. And I was just
freezing cold for the next threehours.
It was like started snowing,like that's how cold it was. It
started snowing. It was reallypretty. But I was just freezing
(07:42):
and I was miserable. So I don'tknow, I just had a bad taste in
my mouth for rafting. And soI kind of just didn't want to
go. But I hadn't seen my brotherin a while. And so I was like,
Okay, I'll go. And I don't know,I just it was a really great
time. There's a bunch of graphsout there, people are just
drinking and floating. And I wasalso a little nervous about the
(08:06):
social distancing thing withCOVID. But you know, the rafts
are pretty far apart. And you'rein the open air and stuff like
that. It's about as safe as safea time as you're going to have
an a pandemic. But yeah, it wasit was I had a great time. It
was a lot of fun. So we talkedabout, you know, doing something
adventurous trying somethingnew. Even though it wasn't new
(08:26):
for me. I was like, You knowwhat, I'm gonna I'll just try it
again. I'm not gonna be aI'm not gonna be a
I'm not gonna be a negativeNancy. You know, my brother
wanted me to go, my sisterwanted me to go. So I went for
them. But I had a good time. Sojust one thing that you can do
to have fun, just try somethingnew, going on little adventure,
(08:49):
stuff like that. This week, Iwant to talk, I want to talk
about attitude. I was watchingon Amazon, there was Hell's
Kitchen. It's a show of I'veliked but I haven't. I only saw
like one season. So I've beenwatching it. And I was watching
there was this. This one chef, Idon't even remember who it was
anymore. But he was like verytalented, doing really well. But
(09:11):
he had like such a shitattitude. He was complaining a
lot. He was talking shit aboutother player, other contestants
on the show. And he was likerude to people. And I was just
thinking, I'm like, Man, thisguy could like probably win if
he didn't have such a shittyattitude. And sure enough, they
cut him in like to like two moreepisodes.
(09:33):
But I really thought he wasgoing to go the whole way until
I started seeing how, what acrappy attitude he has. And I've
noticed this a lot thenyour attitude, really.
Your attitude is going to affecteverything in your life. And
it's hard to describe how tohave a good attitude. I guess
just having a lot of moregratitude, gratitude and
(09:54):
attitude. I guess that's whythey run I don't know. But you
if you have a shit attitude,you're
Life is gonna suck. It's there'sjust no getting around it, life
is just way too long to have ashitty attitude and have good
things happen to you. Like, ifyou notice people that have like
a really good attitude, goodthings just tend to happen to
(10:15):
them is because people aresocial creatures, they want to
help people that are friendlyand nice and have a good
attitude, anyone that has ashitty attitude, they're just
going to put up roadblock afterroadblock after roadblock right
in front of them without evenrealizing it. And they're gonna
blame other people why they havenothing good happened to them.
And it's basically because theyare having a crap attitude,
(10:36):
they're not takingresponsibility for bringing
bringing a positive energy tosituations. Something that seems
to go along with having a shittyattitude is people complaining
lot, I really, I got a bump atwork, I got a raise at work. And
one of the things my boss said,one of the first things he said
was, he's like, mate, you'redoing a good job, you don't
(10:58):
complain.
That's something that I'llmention along the road to my
employers, like I'll eithermention it in an interview, or
just some really early on andmake a point to mention to them
like, yeah, you know, I just domy best to not complain about
petty stuff, anything that'ssmall, I really don't like
(11:18):
people that complain. Because Iknow that bosses hate people
that complain, because that'swhat they deal with most of the
time, there's peoplecomplaining, so I'll make it a
point to mention that I don't, Ialso don't like people who
complain. And I do my best tonot complain about stuff. And it
really shows because it's veryrare that I will complain. If I
(11:40):
complain about something, it'susually like just a joke, or
it's like something that's kindof major that needs to be
changed or something like that.
So I was I thought it was funnythat you mentioned it, and I got
to rate it. So that was great.
One thing too, that I noticedabout attitude is people that
are like talk shit about otherpeople, like gossip, talking
(12:01):
shit, all that stuff. Do yourbest to not say anything bad
about anyone ever, ever. Do yourbest to not say anything bad
about anyone ever. Okay, we alldo it, I do it, I still do it, I
don't do it nearly as much as Iused to. I don't know. Now when
I do it, it's kind of morejoking, or just like, you know,
(12:22):
just all in good fun. ButI know that that is a really
good way to avoid bullying,because sometimes you'll start
getting bullied, because youtalk shit about this person, and
it got back to them, just assumeit's always going to get back to
them. So it's much better tonever, ever, ever talk shit
about anyone. Okay, that's justsome advice I heard a long time
(12:44):
ago. You know, it's good advice.
So just stop doing it, there'sso much more. So many more
topics you can talk about otherthan trying to try to knock
someone else down. If youactually have legitimate
complaint about somebody, thebest way to handle it is to go
directly to that person andbring it up to them in private.
(13:07):
If you're not going to do that,then you don't have the balls to
if you don't have the balls todo it, then it's either not big
of a deal, or it's not worthyour time. And you should not do
it. So either bring it up withhim privately, or don't do
anything at all. And let's sayI've actually heard this before.
So the first thing you want todo is bring it up with him
(13:29):
privately. If that does notresolve it, maybe bring one
other person the next time andbring it up again to them. So
there's like one other personthere. And if that doesn't work,
then you could bring it uppublicly. But in that order, do
not go out of order. alwaystried to bring it up with him
privately first.
And if you're not going to dothat, like I said, Don't mention
(13:50):
it. Just don't do it.
It will not be worth it.
Another thing about having agood attitude, I've noticed is
people that have a goodattitude, are also the same
people that take responsibilityfor things.
It's really annoying whensomeone does not take
responsibility for a mistakethey made. One time I was
(14:11):
working with this guy. We weredoing installs at a at a
hospital. And me and him wereworking in this department. And
we had installed a coupleprinters in there at this
nurse's station. And when wewere wrapping it up, I told him
I'm going to go ahead and bringthe cart down. Do you want to
stay here and finish trainingwith a customer? And he's like,
(14:33):
yeah, I'll take care of that. Sohe did that. I I took all the
all theequipment down to the to the
basement where stagingeverything. And the next day, we
went up to the same departmentor in the same area and the
nurse stopped me She's like,hey, she's like, you know, guys
never trained us on that stuffup there. I was like, oh, okay,
(14:53):
I'm sorry. Well, we'll come byand do some training right now
and she's like all pissed offbecause like they're having
issues Just printing stuff.
So I talked to my coworker I'mlike, hey, the nurses came and
said, no one trained us on thatstuff. He's like, Oh, I was
like, did you train them? He'slike, Oh, yeah. Now we'll have
to take care of it. I was like,dude, I was like, I thought you
(15:15):
were gonna train them. And hejust like, was like, vague. I'm
like, dude, it pissed me off somuch. Because all he had to say
was, yeah, I got sidetracked. Iwas supposed to train them. I
didn't. That was my bad, I'lltake care of it. It's all he had
to say. But now he's just likebeing like, vague. And like
deflective it was so soannoying. I just hate when
people don't takeresponsibility. Because it is so
(15:39):
easy to to say, Yeah, I messedup. I'll take care of it. Sorry
about that. That's it. That'sall it's all anybody wants to
hear. You know why? Because theywant to make sure that it's not
going to happen again. That'sit, they just want to make sure
it's not gonna happen again. Sotake responsibility for stuff.
The more you do it, the morepeople will respect you. which
(15:59):
is I think counterintuitive,because I think the reason
people don't do it is becauselike, oh, if I, if I take the
blame, they'll think less thanme. No, well, actually, people
make mistakes all the time.
People make very stupidmistakes. People, you know, they
just lazy and they don't do it.
Yeah, that's fine people, that'sjust a human thing to do. But if
you actually have the character,to own up to it, and take
(16:21):
responsibility and communicatethat you messed up, and that you
will not, it will not happenagain. That's huge. People
really respect it. It's verymature thing to do. Along these
lines, I've, there's a quotefrom
what's the name, Sigmund Freud.
It is, this is the the quote, hesaid, he said, character is
(16:42):
destiny.
It's just one of those things,man, having a good attitude,
taking responsibility. It's allabout character. So
the better your character, thebetter your future is going to
be. If you have very lowcharacter, your future is going
to be shit. I want you toremember that. So that's kind of
(17:06):
that's been one of my focusesfor the last 10 years is to
develop my character, because Iknow, my future is gonna be a
lot brighter, the more characterI have.
One thing I noticed too, islike, ever seen people just
throw trash on the ground,usually, like you'll see around
like a homeless camp, a lot oftrash on the ground. And I and I
(17:27):
just equate the two, I'm like,well, there's a reason why
you're in such a terribleposition right now, because you
don't even care enough to throwthe trash in the trash can. And
I know a lot of it has to dowith mental health and drug
addiction and stuff. But there'sdefinitely a slice of not just
giving a crap about anything. Iremember when I was in high
(17:48):
school, sometimes, if I went toa drive in, or a drive thru, got
some food, I'd pull up in thealley, and I would just throw
the trash out in the ground.
Dude, I would just I just didn'tgive a shit. And my life was
really unraveling at that pointin high school and stuff. But
then, like I mentioned earlier,I went up to Alaska. And I
(18:08):
noticed that it was so beautifulup there.
Everybody that I hung out withwas very, very determined not to
let any trash hit the ground.
Any little piece would always goin the trash. And
I really respected that. And Ilearned that that's very
important to take care of thatlaw. And so like when I was we
(18:31):
were rafting down the river.
Last week, anytime we saw a beercan or soda can floating in the
in the river, we'd always likewe'd always steer towards it,
we'd read we'd row, pick it up,throw it with our trash, because
it was so beautiful out there.
Like I just hated it to see anygarbage floating in the river.
Like anytime I go camping, or gohiking, I see some trash, I'll
(18:53):
throw it in my bag, I'll alwaystake some with me and stuff like
that. Something else I want totalk about is usually on the
show I mentioned, keep talkingto people.
Let's talk about that realquick. I mentioned that very
frequently. Because that isthat is the lab portion of of
the subject. You know, this isthe social skills lab. But what
(19:18):
you're doing right now listeningto it, this is actually like if
you take a class at college,there's the theory section where
you go through the lecture. Andthen there's the lab, where you
go into a lab and you look atmicroscopes, you mess with your
test tubes and your auger platesand stuff like that. And that's
(19:39):
the lab portion where you applywhat you learn what you learned
in theory, so when I say keeptalking to people, what I mean
is go out there and do the lastpart. You know, it's good to
read books, it's good to watchvideos. It's good to listen to
podcasts. But that's all theory.
You're notactually going to get very far
(20:00):
without doing applet applyingwhat you're learning. So when I
say keep talking to people, whatyou're doing is working out your
social muscles, they talk aboutthe brain muscle, what it is
really is a bunch of neurons asmuch as cells. So when you keep
talking to people, what you'redoing is you're building
connections in your, in your,between different neurons, the
(20:20):
more you do it, the better yourconnections are, the more easier
the conversations will flow,because you're practicing what
you're learning, really try whatyou're learning and stuff,
you'll start building thoseneurons. And it's like, if you
were to like, let's say, whenyou were 10, you started playing
the piano. And you let's say youdid it for like two years, you
built up those neurons, youactually built somewhere in the
(20:44):
brain where all your music, andyour motor skills, they start,
they start to make connectionsbetween the music part of your
brain and the motor skill partof your brain. And the visual
part where you start readingmusic. And then let's say you
stop playing what happens aftertwo years, you probably can't
even play one song. So that'swhy social skills are really
(21:05):
cool, because you can alwayspractice them. Because you're
surrounded by people, you'regoing out all the time. Even in
a pandemic, the pandemic hasmade it extremely challenging to
practice social skills, butthere are still opportunities.
Always Be on the lookout foropportunities to practice your
social skills. Just make surewhen you talk to people that
(21:26):
you're giving them properdistance, make sure you have a
mask on, make sure you speakclearly maybe a little louder,
because I'm asking muffle itquite a bit. There's always
opportunities to practice yoursocial skills. And then you
know, let's say, say when thingsstart settling down, people
start getting social. Again,it's safe to go out and save to
(21:47):
go to parties have to go to barsand clubs, safe to go to music
events, then you're kind ofready to go, you've been
practicing, you've been reading,you know, like let's say,
Saturday morning, you're goingto go to a concert later with
some with a buddy maybe, oryou're going to go downtown, go
to it like an art show. Youdon't want to just sit there all
(22:09):
day waiting to go to the artshow, you know, all day, you
know, start like you go to thestore and maybe chat up the
cashier. Maybe it'll chat upsomeone in line, or something
like that. Start practicingtalking to people all day long.
Watch some stand up comedy getin the zone. And then when you
go out, you'll start chattingpeople up there, maybe the guy
at the door. I've talked tobouncers at the door made
(22:33):
friends with bouncers and stufflike that you just talk to
everybody. And then you'll starttalking to people and you're
already in the zone, you'realready ready to talk, it's much
easier than to just sit at homeall day and not talk to anyone
and then go out and then try toget into a zone of a chatty, you
know, friendly person, you kindof have to build up to it. You
know, you've been chatting uppeople all week, you've been
(22:55):
talking to people all week andjoking around with people all
week. And then when you go out,meet people, you're already in
the zone. That's why you want tokeep talking to people push the
conversations further. And justbe ready for opportunities that
present themselves. So just ingeneral stick with it, it's
gonna take some time, say it'staken me many years to really
get into it, but I just dove in,you know, headfirst and I really
(23:20):
can see some results right awayso I was motivated to stick with
it. And then after a while, Irealized, okay, this can this
this rabbit hole goes downfurther than I ever thought and
I'm gonna stick with it for therest of my life. Because it is
such a it's such a great skillto have, it just makes life
(23:41):
so much more interesting and somuch more fun. So stick with it,
you'll get it eventually. Oreven if you have gotten it
you'll get better just just youknow stick on a path stay on the
path.
I guess that's really all Iwanted to say for this week. But
once again, not sure what I'lltalk about next week but
maybe I'll look up some moretopics on this the subreddit
(24:03):
social skills I've been readinga lot on there and some good
stuff check it out. So I guessthat'll be about it this week. I
hope you guys have a really goodweek. And just you know have
fun. Don't take yourself tooseriously. And I'll talk to you
next week.
Feeling effects of a past lifehave to haul from a past life
(24:26):
took the right path from thewrong night to Japan taking this
right what a bizarre like a pullup a car ride it's a Mustang
with the beats Where have youseen him what it look like? Oh,
women and take for granteda lot and again an issue for the
moon in the stars numerous brasbeautiful being the
(24:48):
beetle people with the luckyyoung linen and the nice show
see to press down so now I'mthinking that life is better
with buddy you bet on thebrother You win in the tank tops
with the eightIf it wasn't for you
(25:10):
if it wasn't for you
Running away from the body I'm thinking much in the
back seat for the Powerball wecould do it
with the winning you know asgame top of sheets sing along,
man, and just when it couldn'tget better, she talked in my ear
saying you got the chin. Ah, yougot the juice, you have the
bison, you talking and walkingthe right way sundown on a
(00:49):
highway.
Talking and murder. Welcome backback to another episode of the
social skills lab.
I'm your host, Nathan almondsays episode number 11.
Again, the back of the building.
(01:12):
He sent you a friend that songwas Powerball by
wax Mustang added that lastweek.
It's good song, I like it.
Last week, we talked aboutbullying and having fun.
Couple things about bullying Iwanted to mention again, it's
(01:34):
almost impossible for someonewith lots of confidence and self
esteem tobe mean to another person. So
just remember that if someone'sactually like a bully, they
probably have low self esteem.
That's why if you havecompletely shrunk your ego, it's
very difficult for them to putyou down or verbally attack you
(01:56):
in any way because you don'treally care. And they're just
they don't have any self esteem.
So they're not going to be asthey're not going to be able to
spar with you verbally. Andthat's a difficult thing to
fake. So you really have to workon shrinking your ego. A couple
ways I did it. Like I mentionedI started meditating a lot,
(02:19):
started reading about Easternphilosophy and Zen really got
into Zen and like the doubt aChing and stuff like that. One
of the books that I read thatwas really, really good was the
Power of Now by Eckhart Tolly. Ifound the book right around the
same time I was getting anEastern philosophy. It's almost
like a Western version of Zen.
(02:43):
It was really good. It was areally good book to come across.
But he was basically a guy thatwas was like, at the end of his
wits, he had like almost amental breakdown. And in that
moment, and he discovered hebecame enlightened. Like he, he
became enlightened. And I'veread that before there's a
couple, that's one of the waysyou could become enlightened is
(03:05):
like becoming is like getting tothe edge of a mental breakdown.
It's kind of weird. I've never,I'm remember one time I had a
panic attack, but neverexperienced anything that was
extremely severe or anythinglike that. So that was I don't
know if if you have issues likethat. probably want to talk to a
(03:26):
professional. But I'd alsorecommend checking out some Zen
stuff, it's, it's really good toget a completely different
perspective on the art ofliving. One thing too about Zen
is there was this expressionthat I got from there, it was
thethe opposite of a profound truth
is another profound truth. Andthe kind of like, kind of mess
(03:50):
with me, I was like holy cow,like so anything that I think is
like, Oh, yeah, this this is thetruth. The exact opposite can
also be true.
Which means basically thatnothing is ultimately true.
Because if the opposite is alsotrue. There's really nothing to
like, Hang Hang my ego on. Like,if I think if I think that
(04:13):
something is happening, I'm liketrying to like figure out a
situation. I'm not going to belike completely convinced
because I'll know that no matterwhat I come up with the opposite
is probably also true becausethere's different levels, that
something can be true on. Like,let's say, I feel like right now
I'm sitting in my my desk, butyou know, I'm also flying
(04:34):
through space at like 100,000miles an hour. So which one is
it? You know, stuff like that.
Just keep that in mind.
Something that goes along withZen is very being completely
present in the moment. It's hardto do that sometimes. Like let's
say I have to take out the trashor I have to do my laundry. It's
gonna feel like a chore most ofthe time. One time I was in my
(04:58):
bathroom andI was washing my hands and I
just did like an extra big pumpof the soap. And it got on the
sink. So I was like, Okay, wellthis like washes off. So I
started like, wiping the sinkwith the soap. And then all
these said started forming. Andthen I was like, Well, I guess
I'll just wash the sink nowsince I got all this so. So I
started just like slowly likewashing the sink. And all these
(05:21):
said, started forming. And nextthing I knew I was completely
immersed in the, in the momentof watching the sink. And I just
like, so I was just gonna washthe sink. But next hand, no, I
totally cleaned the whole likecabinets and everything in the
mirror. I just became completelyimmersed into cleaning the sink,
and countertop and I'd scuttlethe suds and soap. And next
(05:46):
thing I knew, I felt a moment ofjoy doing it. And I'm like, holy
cow, this is this is what it isto be completely present. I can
enjoy doing something that'stechnically a chore.
I don't know, it's just a momentthat I thought was kind of
interesting. I'm like, this isthis is cool. This is what being
completely present means. Andeven thinking that kind of takes
(06:10):
you out of it. So anytime youactually like think about this,
like anytime you actually thinkabout the Dow, it actually takes
you out of it. It's kind ofweird to be completely present,
you can't even think about it,you just have to be.
But in that moment, I just kindof started feeling good. I felt
gratitude for being alive andstuff like that. That's pretty
interesting.
(06:31):
I'll put a link up on thedescription for the power of now
for you guys. It's pretty easyto find, but I'll just throw a
link up for you.
Also, last week, we talked abouthaving fun. Last week after the
after I recorded the episode. Iwent rafting with my brother and
my sister. And I gotta behonest, at first I was like, and
(06:53):
I really want to go because Ihad been rafting before.
And I really didn't like it. Itwas up in Alaska, because I had
worked up in Alaska for a couplesummers.
And we got comped a rafting tripfrom the hotel. So me and my
friends went rafting. And it waspretty cold, it was probably
about 50 degrees out, maybe 60degrees out and you're on a raft
(07:19):
on a river. And like within 20minutes, we hit a rapid in a
hole, just like mountain ofwater came into the raft and I
was soaked because I was rightup front. And I was just
freezing cold for the next threehours.
It was like started snowing,like that's how cold it was. It
started snowing. It was reallypretty. But I was just freezing
(07:42):
and I was miserable. So I don'tknow, I just had a bad taste in
my mouth for rafting. And soI kind of just didn't want to
go. But I hadn't seen my brotherin a while. And so I was like,
Okay, I'll go. And I don't know,I just it was a really great
time. There's a bunch of graphsout there, people are just
drinking and floating. And I wasalso a little nervous about the
(08:06):
social distancing thing withCOVID. But you know, the rafts
are pretty far apart. And you'rein the open air and stuff like
that. It's about as safe as safea time as you're going to have
an a pandemic. But yeah, it wasit was I had a great time. It
was a lot of fun. So we talkedabout, you know, doing something
adventurous trying somethingnew. Even though it wasn't new
(08:26):
for me. I was like, You knowwhat, I'm gonna I'll just try it
again. I'm not gonna be aI'm not gonna be a
I'm not gonna be a negativeNancy. You know, my brother
wanted me to go, my sisterwanted me to go. So I went for
them. But I had a good time. Sojust one thing that you can do
to have fun, just try somethingnew, going on little adventure,
(08:49):
stuff like that. This week, Iwant to talk, I want to talk
about attitude. I was watchingon Amazon, there was Hell's
Kitchen. It's a show of I'veliked but I haven't. I only saw
like one season. So I've beenwatching it. And I was watching
there was this. This one chef, Idon't even remember who it was
anymore. But he was like verytalented, doing really well. But
(09:11):
he had like such a shitattitude. He was complaining a
lot. He was talking shit aboutother player, other contestants
on the show. And he was likerude to people. And I was just
thinking, I'm like, Man, thisguy could like probably win if
he didn't have such a shittyattitude. And sure enough, they
cut him in like to like two moreepisodes.
(09:33):
But I really thought he wasgoing to go the whole way until
I started seeing how, what acrappy attitude he has. And I've
noticed this a lot thenyour attitude, really.
Your attitude is going to affecteverything in your life. And
it's hard to describe how tohave a good attitude. I guess
just having a lot of moregratitude, gratitude and
(09:54):
attitude. I guess that's whythey run I don't know. But you
if you have a shit attitude,you're
Life is gonna suck. It's there'sjust no getting around it, life
is just way too long to have ashitty attitude and have good
things happen to you. Like, ifyou notice people that have like
a really good attitude, goodthings just tend to happen to
(10:15):
them is because people aresocial creatures, they want to
help people that are friendlyand nice and have a good
attitude, anyone that has ashitty attitude, they're just
going to put up roadblock afterroadblock after roadblock right
in front of them without evenrealizing it. And they're gonna
blame other people why they havenothing good happened to them.
And it's basically because theyare having a crap attitude,
(10:36):
they're not takingresponsibility for bringing
bringing a positive energy tosituations. Something that seems
to go along with having a shittyattitude is people complaining
lot, I really, I got a bump atwork, I got a raise at work. And
one of the things my boss said,one of the first things he said
was, he's like, mate, you'redoing a good job, you don't
(10:58):
complain.
That's something that I'llmention along the road to my
employers, like I'll eithermention it in an interview, or
just some really early on andmake a point to mention to them
like, yeah, you know, I just domy best to not complain about
petty stuff, anything that'ssmall, I really don't like
(11:18):
people that complain. Because Iknow that bosses hate people
that complain, because that'swhat they deal with most of the
time, there's peoplecomplaining, so I'll make it a
point to mention that I don't, Ialso don't like people who
complain. And I do my best tonot complain about stuff. And it
really shows because it's veryrare that I will complain. If I
(11:40):
complain about something, it'susually like just a joke, or
it's like something that's kindof major that needs to be
changed or something like that.
So I was I thought it was funnythat you mentioned it, and I got
to rate it. So that was great.
One thing too, that I noticedabout attitude is people that
are like talk shit about otherpeople, like gossip, talking
(12:01):
shit, all that stuff. Do yourbest to not say anything bad
about anyone ever, ever. Do yourbest to not say anything bad
about anyone ever. Okay, we alldo it, I do it, I still do it, I
don't do it nearly as much as Iused to. I don't know. Now when
I do it, it's kind of morejoking, or just like, you know,
(12:22):
just all in good fun. ButI know that that is a really
good way to avoid bullying,because sometimes you'll start
getting bullied, because youtalk shit about this person, and
it got back to them, just assumeit's always going to get back to
them. So it's much better tonever, ever, ever talk shit
about anyone. Okay, that's justsome advice I heard a long time
(12:44):
ago. You know, it's good advice.
So just stop doing it, there'sso much more. So many more
topics you can talk about otherthan trying to try to knock
someone else down. If youactually have legitimate
complaint about somebody, thebest way to handle it is to go
directly to that person andbring it up to them in private.
(13:07):
If you're not going to do that,then you don't have the balls to
if you don't have the balls todo it, then it's either not big
of a deal, or it's not worthyour time. And you should not do
it. So either bring it up withhim privately, or don't do
anything at all. And let's sayI've actually heard this before.
So the first thing you want todo is bring it up with him
(13:29):
privately. If that does notresolve it, maybe bring one
other person the next time andbring it up again to them. So
there's like one other personthere. And if that doesn't work,
then you could bring it uppublicly. But in that order, do
not go out of order. alwaystried to bring it up with him
privately first.
And if you're not going to dothat, like I said, Don't mention
(13:50):
it. Just don't do it.
It will not be worth it.
Another thing about having agood attitude, I've noticed is
people that have a goodattitude, are also the same
people that take responsibilityfor things.
It's really annoying whensomeone does not take
responsibility for a mistakethey made. One time I was
(14:11):
working with this guy. We weredoing installs at a at a
hospital. And me and him wereworking in this department. And
we had installed a coupleprinters in there at this
nurse's station. And when wewere wrapping it up, I told him
I'm going to go ahead and bringthe cart down. Do you want to
stay here and finish trainingwith a customer? And he's like,
(14:33):
yeah, I'll take care of that. Sohe did that. I I took all the
all theequipment down to the to the
basement where stagingeverything. And the next day, we
went up to the same departmentor in the same area and the
nurse stopped me She's like,hey, she's like, you know, guys
never trained us on that stuffup there. I was like, oh, okay,
(14:53):
I'm sorry. Well, we'll come byand do some training right now
and she's like all pissed offbecause like they're having
issues Just printing stuff.
So I talked to my coworker I'mlike, hey, the nurses came and
said, no one trained us on thatstuff. He's like, Oh, I was
like, did you train them? He'slike, Oh, yeah. Now we'll have
to take care of it. I was like,dude, I was like, I thought you
(15:15):
were gonna train them. And hejust like, was like, vague. I'm
like, dude, it pissed me off somuch. Because all he had to say
was, yeah, I got sidetracked. Iwas supposed to train them. I
didn't. That was my bad, I'lltake care of it. It's all he had
to say. But now he's just likebeing like, vague. And like
deflective it was so soannoying. I just hate when
people don't takeresponsibility. Because it is so
(15:39):
easy to to say, Yeah, I messedup. I'll take care of it. Sorry
about that. That's it. That'sall it's all anybody wants to
hear. You know why? Because theywant to make sure that it's not
going to happen again. That'sit, they just want to make sure
it's not gonna happen again. Sotake responsibility for stuff.
The more you do it, the morepeople will respect you. which
(15:59):
is I think counterintuitive,because I think the reason
people don't do it is becauselike, oh, if I, if I take the
blame, they'll think less thanme. No, well, actually, people
make mistakes all the time.
People make very stupidmistakes. People, you know, they
just lazy and they don't do it.
Yeah, that's fine people, that'sjust a human thing to do. But if
you actually have the character,to own up to it, and take
(16:21):
responsibility and communicatethat you messed up, and that you
will not, it will not happenagain. That's huge. People
really respect it. It's verymature thing to do. Along these
lines, I've, there's a quotefrom
what's the name, Sigmund Freud.
It is, this is the the quote, hesaid, he said, character is
(16:42):
destiny.
It's just one of those things,man, having a good attitude,
taking responsibility. It's allabout character. So
the better your character, thebetter your future is going to
be. If you have very lowcharacter, your future is going
to be shit. I want you toremember that. So that's kind of
(17:06):
that's been one of my focusesfor the last 10 years is to
develop my character, because Iknow, my future is gonna be a
lot brighter, the more characterI have.
One thing I noticed too, islike, ever seen people just
throw trash on the ground,usually, like you'll see around
like a homeless camp, a lot oftrash on the ground. And I and I
(17:27):
just equate the two, I'm like,well, there's a reason why
you're in such a terribleposition right now, because you
don't even care enough to throwthe trash in the trash can. And
I know a lot of it has to dowith mental health and drug
addiction and stuff. But there'sdefinitely a slice of not just
giving a crap about anything. Iremember when I was in high
(17:48):
school, sometimes, if I went toa drive in, or a drive thru, got
some food, I'd pull up in thealley, and I would just throw
the trash out in the ground.
Dude, I would just I just didn'tgive a shit. And my life was
really unraveling at that pointin high school and stuff. But
then, like I mentioned earlier,I went up to Alaska. And I
(18:08):
noticed that it was so beautifulup there.
Everybody that I hung out withwas very, very determined not to
let any trash hit the ground.
Any little piece would always goin the trash. And
I really respected that. And Ilearned that that's very
important to take care of thatlaw. And so like when I was we
(18:31):
were rafting down the river.
Last week, anytime we saw a beercan or soda can floating in the
in the river, we'd always likewe'd always steer towards it,
we'd read we'd row, pick it up,throw it with our trash, because
it was so beautiful out there.
Like I just hated it to see anygarbage floating in the river.
Like anytime I go camping, or gohiking, I see some trash, I'll
(18:53):
throw it in my bag, I'll alwaystake some with me and stuff like
that. Something else I want totalk about is usually on the
show I mentioned, keep talkingto people.
Let's talk about that realquick. I mentioned that very
frequently. Because that isthat is the lab portion of of
the subject. You know, this isthe social skills lab. But what
(19:18):
you're doing right now listeningto it, this is actually like if
you take a class at college,there's the theory section where
you go through the lecture. Andthen there's the lab, where you
go into a lab and you look atmicroscopes, you mess with your
test tubes and your auger platesand stuff like that. And that's
(19:39):
the lab portion where you applywhat you learn what you learned
in theory, so when I say keeptalking to people, what I mean
is go out there and do the lastpart. You know, it's good to
read books, it's good to watchvideos. It's good to listen to
podcasts. But that's all theory.
You're notactually going to get very far
(20:00):
without doing applet applyingwhat you're learning. So when I
say keep talking to people, whatyou're doing is working out your
social muscles, they talk aboutthe brain muscle, what it is
really is a bunch of neurons asmuch as cells. So when you keep
talking to people, what you'redoing is you're building
connections in your, in your,between different neurons, the
(20:20):
more you do it, the better yourconnections are, the more easier
the conversations will flow,because you're practicing what
you're learning, really try whatyou're learning and stuff,
you'll start building thoseneurons. And it's like, if you
were to like, let's say, whenyou were 10, you started playing
the piano. And you let's say youdid it for like two years, you
built up those neurons, youactually built somewhere in the
(20:44):
brain where all your music, andyour motor skills, they start,
they start to make connectionsbetween the music part of your
brain and the motor skill partof your brain. And the visual
part where you start readingmusic. And then let's say you
stop playing what happens aftertwo years, you probably can't
even play one song. So that'swhy social skills are really
(21:05):
cool, because you can alwayspractice them. Because you're
surrounded by people, you'regoing out all the time. Even in
a pandemic, the pandemic hasmade it extremely challenging to
practice social skills, butthere are still opportunities.
Always Be on the lookout foropportunities to practice your
social skills. Just make surewhen you talk to people that
(21:26):
you're giving them properdistance, make sure you have a
mask on, make sure you speakclearly maybe a little louder,
because I'm asking muffle itquite a bit. There's always
opportunities to practice yoursocial skills. And then you
know, let's say, say when thingsstart settling down, people
start getting social. Again,it's safe to go out and save to
(21:47):
go to parties have to go to barsand clubs, safe to go to music
events, then you're kind ofready to go, you've been
practicing, you've been reading,you know, like let's say,
Saturday morning, you're goingto go to a concert later with
some with a buddy maybe, oryou're going to go downtown, go
to it like an art show. Youdon't want to just sit there all
(22:09):
day waiting to go to the artshow, you know, all day, you
know, start like you go to thestore and maybe chat up the
cashier. Maybe it'll chat upsomeone in line, or something
like that. Start practicingtalking to people all day long.
Watch some stand up comedy getin the zone. And then when you
go out, you'll start chattingpeople up there, maybe the guy
at the door. I've talked tobouncers at the door made
(22:33):
friends with bouncers and stufflike that you just talk to
everybody. And then you'll starttalking to people and you're
already in the zone, you'realready ready to talk, it's much
easier than to just sit at homeall day and not talk to anyone
and then go out and then try toget into a zone of a chatty, you
know, friendly person, you kindof have to build up to it. You
know, you've been chatting uppeople all week, you've been
(22:55):
talking to people all week andjoking around with people all
week. And then when you go out,meet people, you're already in
the zone. That's why you want tokeep talking to people push the
conversations further. And justbe ready for opportunities that
present themselves. So just ingeneral stick with it, it's
gonna take some time, say it'staken me many years to really
get into it, but I just dove in,you know, headfirst and I really
(23:20):
can see some results right awayso I was motivated to stick with
it. And then after a while, Irealized, okay, this can this
this rabbit hole goes downfurther than I ever thought and
I'm gonna stick with it for therest of my life. Because it is
such a it's such a great skillto have, it just makes life
(23:41):
so much more interesting and somuch more fun. So stick with it,
you'll get it eventually. Oreven if you have gotten it
you'll get better just just youknow stick on a path stay on the
path.
I guess that's really all Iwanted to say for this week. But
once again, not sure what I'lltalk about next week but
maybe I'll look up some moretopics on this the subreddit
(24:03):
social skills I've been readinga lot on there and some good
stuff check it out. So I guessthat'll be about it this week. I
hope you guys have a really goodweek. And just you know have
fun. Don't take yourself tooseriously. And I'll talk to you
next week.
Feeling effects of a past lifehave to haul from a past life
(24:26):
took the right path from thewrong night to Japan taking this
right what a bizarre like a pullup a car ride it's a Mustang
with the beats Where have youseen him what it look like? Oh,
women and take for granteda lot and again an issue for the
moon in the stars numerous brasbeautiful being the
(24:48):
beetle people with the luckyyoung linen and the nice show
see to press down so now I'mthinking that life is better
with buddy you bet on thebrother You win in the tank tops
with the eightIf it wasn't for you
(25:10):
if it wasn't for you
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