June 13, 2020 • 33 mins
In this episode we dive into some great ways to develop a social lifestyle and where to meet new people. We also talk about some great ways to always have something cool to talk about with people, how to always have fresh topics for you socializing.
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Episode Transcript
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Unknown (00:11):
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the social skills lab,
where we dive into the mostimportant skill you'll ever
learn your social skills. Why isthat? Well, because it makes
life more fun. It also makes iteasier and more interesting.
(00:35):
makes your job a lot easier.
opens up all kinds of avenues.
I'm your host, Nathan Ahmet.
I've been learning social skillsfor about 15 years. And yeah,
just I'm just a regular guy thatwent from being pretty shy to
pretty social. And I have a lot.
(01:00):
I've got a long way to gomyself, but I just figured, hey,
I'll just take a Why don't wejust take a little journey with
me, I guess.
Okay, so last week, we talkedabout body language, and
approbation, which also justmeans praise a couple things
(01:21):
about that one dimension. Sobody language. Another aspect of
body language is like your handgestures. Like when you talk
like how emotive you are, howexpressive you are with your
hands, you can actually do quitea bit of expressiveness with
your hands as well. So somethingthat I'd recommend is go on
(01:45):
YouTube and watch some videos ofsome of the big late night hosts
like Jimmy Kimmel, or I'm tryingto blank right now, Steven Cole,
bear anyone. That's kind of likea regular late night host. Oh,
Jimmy Fallon, too. And then, sojust watch some clips of when
(02:06):
they do their monologues, likewhen they were in front of a
live audience. And you can seehow expressive they are with
their hands. And then it's sonatural. It's basically expert
level hand gestures. Just togive you an idea of some hand
gestures you might want toadopt, like, if you see anyone
doing something cool. Just takeit, you know, make it your own.
(02:30):
No one's got a patent on like,Great hand gestures, or great
phrases. So it's a good way tolearn how to make your hands
more expressive, just helps youcommunicate better. Another
thing about having really goodbody languages, it really plays
a big part in your vibe. Sothat's another key thing about
(02:51):
communicating is you always wantto have a really good vibe. Your
body language is basically a bigpart of having an interesting
and positive vibe. On theanother on the other topic of
our probation, we talked about,you know, giving genuine
compliments when you actuallyfelt when you actually
(03:14):
experience something that like,Oh, yeah, that was great. One
thing I don't think I mentionedwas at work, that's like a
really great place, giveapprobation and praise out. When
I was working at this company.
We were doing installations ofcopiers and printers at these
different hospitals. We were ondifferent we were on teams, and
we all were pretty much brandnew. We all started at the same
(03:36):
time. The boss was alwayschecking in to make sure things
how things were going. I alwaysmade it a point to remember
which co workers were doingreally well. And I would mention
to him, oh, yeah, you know, Mikeis doing a really good job. Or,
you know, Phil, he, he, we hadthis issue in the, in the,
(04:05):
in the pharmacy department. Andhe knew how to he was really
good with the software he like,I didn't think we were going to
get it figured out. But he wasable to get it get it going. So
I mentioned these things to theboss, like who was doing a good
job, like a really good job. AndI was very specific. Like I
wouldn't just be generalizinglike, Oh, yeah, he's good. I
(04:25):
always made specific points ofwhy the personnel doing a good
job and so next thing you know,he I found out that he would
regularly ask me how someone wasdoing. And I don't know, just
for some reason, I believe whenyou do that at work, it gives
you credibility, just by givingother people praise and specific
(04:48):
praise. It just actually notonly makes them look better, it
makes you look better. So kindof like a decent tactic to use
to use at work. This one coworker of mine I mean, everyone
already knew he was really good.
But I told the boss, I'm like,Man, this guy's like a genius at
the job. Like, he knowseverything about the product.
And every time, I feel like Ihave an issue, I always call him
(05:08):
and he usually helps me quite abit. And the guy actually ended
up getting promoted to be mysupervisor. I think about a year
later, or six months later, hewas still like, doing a really
good job. So I sent an email tomy boss, about how like, Oh,
yeah, you know, Dustin's beendoing a really good job. Just
(05:28):
wanna let you know that everytime I call him, he's always
available, and bla bla, bla,bla, bla. I don't really
remember specifics, but I wasjust, you know, I just thought
I'd give a shout out to him,send an email to my boss about
it. And then, you know, a couplehours later, I realized, I saw
an email that he had forwardedback to his boss, and then
another manager, and then alsoto Dustin. And then Dustin
(05:50):
replied back, thanking for He'slike, really appreciate it.
Getting positive. He likespositive feedback from
customers. But positive feedbackfrom co workers means even more,
and I don't know, I was justlike, there's something so easy
to do. I mean, I was bored atwork anyway, there wasn't really
much going on. So I just feltlike, oh, let's do this. And it
goes around pretty quick. And,yeah, so stuff like that just, I
(06:15):
think it can be very effectiveat work. Because you know, most
people at work, they very rarelyget positive feedback, at least
genuine positive feedback. So,hey, I recommend doing it, I
ended up getting pushed up tobeing a lead to as well. So, you
know, it also helps your careerfor me in in weird ways that you
(06:38):
don't really expect. Okay, so,this week, we are going to go
into where to meet new people,and also, what to talk about. I
hear that quite a bit. It'slike, Well, what do you what do
you talk about when you'resocializing? And I totally get
that, because when I was firststarting out, like I'm so I was
(07:00):
so in my head. And, you know, Iwould think of things to talk
about, but I just wouldn't sayit, because I don't know just
didn't seem like oh, no, maybethey didn't really want to talk
about that, or whatever. Iactually have difficulty
remembering what it was, like,when I first started because it
was a it was a long time ago.
But be it's like, now it justseems so natural and relatively
(07:24):
easy that it's hard for me toput myself back in that mind
space, I hope that you aregetting something out of it. At
least, you know, I tried to givea lot of like, a lot of tips and
stuff and, you know, smallpractical ideas, as well as like
big overarching ideas, I reallyhope you're getting something at
least out of it. I just say thatif you don't really know where
(07:44):
to start, just start somewhere.
I remember I was studying with afriend of mine. And he was kind
of behind and we had like a testcoming up. And he's like, like,
I had some ideas of what we'regonna go over. And he's like,
man, I don't even know where tostart. And I was like, do you
just start somewhere? Becausethat's what I do. Actually, when
I feel overwhelmed, just startsomewhere. And next, you know,
(08:04):
you'll start figuring out, okay,I need to work on that. And that
in this order, or whatever.
Let's talk about where to meetnew people. So back, let's go
back to when I was kind ofgetting started. I was I
mentioned before that I wasreally into the music scene, I
(08:24):
was really into DJing andelectronic music, like house and
techno and stuff. And I would goout to like events and stuff
like that go to undergroundparties or clubs. I started
going to mark more to clubs andstuff just because of where I
was living. There was moreclubs, there was like weekly
events going on.
And I had just moved back toCalifornia. And most of my
(08:48):
friends had moved away. But Idid have one friend that was
still around. So who was alsointerested in into the same
music. So I started going out tothese different music clubs. And
I found a good weekly event thatwas in Northern California was
in Sacramento. And I startedgoing almost every week, because
(09:09):
I liked the the music. They wereplaying there. And I just kept
running into the same people.
And I'd be by the by the speakeror something. And I noticed
someone else was there bythemselves. And I'm like, Hey,
how's it going? I was like, Whatdo you think of the DJ or
something like that? We juststart start talking about music
or something. Sometimes you'dhit it off. Sometimes you
wouldn't. After so many weeks ofdoing this. I kept running into
(09:30):
the same people.
So you'd be like talking to themand talking for a minute and
you're like, Hey, I'm going togo get a beer you want one?
They're like yeah, sure to getnext, you know, you both go over
to the bar and you're justchopping it up at the bar. And
then maybe their friend wouldcome up and they would say hi
and introduce you to theirfriend and stuff like that,
which is a godsend because it'sa way easier way to meet
(09:54):
people's when they're beingintroduced to someone. So I make
it a very big point to alwaysintroduce people to each other,
it's really important to alwaysintroduce people because some
people aren't very good at that.
They, I don't know, you'll justbe talking and they'll be
talking. And after a while,you're like, hey, oh, yeah, by
the way, I'm so and so. Andthey're like, Oh, yeah, be just
(10:14):
because the third, the secondperson didn't introduce you. So
always make it a point tointroduce people. I do, I do it
a lot. So, back to the I wasjust going to a lot of these
events. And next, you know,you're starting to meet people,
these music things. And ifyou're going regularly, if it's
(10:35):
a relatively small music scene,which just was you just run into
the same people. And the nextthing, you know, they're like,
Oh, so what are you doing afterafter this is over? Like, yeah,
I'm not sure. And they're like,well, there's a, there's an
after party at so and says, Youshould go. So next thing, you
know, you're going to an afterparty, you meet more people
there, you meet their friends.
(10:56):
This would this actually startedto snowball pretty quickly to
where I was, I'd go out, a lotof times, it'd be an after
party, you go to an after party.
And then you find out aboutanother event. Like you don't
always find out about events,like just pop up on your phone
or something like that youactually hear about him from
other people. And especially ifyou I don't know, I always found
(11:17):
the people that I hit it offwith the most, we're into almost
the exact same type of music Iwas into. So when they found out
when they would mention it in amusic event. And make it a point
to go because it's probably thetype of music I was into.
Because there's so manydifferent types of genres of
music, you never really always.
(11:39):
Sometimes you weren't reallyinto the music or whatever. So I
found that basically, this wasone of the best places to
socialize and meet new peopleand practice my social skills.
Because people who go to musicevents were usually very social
themselves. I mean, there wasshy people too, but they wanted
(12:00):
to socialize, you go out, youwant to socialize. So they were
very upbeat. They like to havefun, which is, Hey, who doesn't
like to have fun? That'sbasically the name of the game,
isn't it? So I just found thatif you have Well, let me just
segue into the next section Iwas going to talk about is, I
heard this advice that if youreally want to maximize your
(12:24):
ability to socialize, if youreally want to maximize your
ability to socialize with a lotof people, a lot of new people,
you may want to move to a city.
Like if you live in the boonies,if you live in the middle of
nowhere, if you live in a placewhere you've grown up all your
life, and you keep basicallymeeting the same people and it's
hard to meet new people orwhatever. It's a pretty big
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step, obviously, to move to abig city, or to a bigger city.
Holy cow, it was it reallychanged the game. And I remember
when I heard that I'm like,okay, that's that sounds like
pretty good advice. But I'm, Idon't know if I can move right
away. But it, it might besomething I want to work
(13:07):
towards. So I mean, it took meprobably about a year or two,
but it wasn't long. And nextthing you know, I was in a big
city and holy cow just reallyall sudden, there's so much more
stuff to do. There's so manymore people to mean, I don't
know people live in big cities,or they'd like to do a lot of
stuff because there's so muchstuff going on. And just really
makes things so much easier to,to get out and do stuff. When I
(13:32):
was moving. When I lived inSacramento, there was a weekly
newspaper or magazine that wouldcome out. And there's like these
newsstands all around the city.
It's called Sacramento news andreview.
And I would make sure to go andget one every week. And then I
would just like I had a calendarup on my wall, make sure you
(13:53):
have a calendar up on your wall.
And so I had a calendar up on mywall. And I would get this
weekly newspaper. And what Iwould do is basically I'd open
it up and go through it. Andthere was a calendar. It's just
like a music, arts and culture,weekly magazine, almost every
big city has one. And I wouldjust open it up, look at the
(14:14):
calendar, see what's coming upfor this week or this month,
circle everything that lookinteresting to me, and I would
put it on my calendar if I was,you know, I wasn't ever sure if
I was going to go or not. But atleast I had it on my calendar.
Usually, a couple days before Imight get pretty excited about
going to something I might callup someone and be like, hey,
this thing is going on, you wantto go. And a lot of times I
(14:36):
would just go by myself, if Icouldn't find anyone else that
wanted to go. And I'm a shyperson. That's not something I
really liked to do to go out anddo something by myself,
especially when I first started.
But I said you know what, I'mjust gonna start saying yes to
everything that comes my way.
That's a really good tip. Juststart saying yes to everything
(15:00):
that comes your way. Becauseyou'll find that a lot of stuff
actually does pop up, likesomeone says, oh, they're having
a barbecue, or there's thisevent at work, or there's,
here's something on the radio,that sounds cool. Just start
saying yes to everything and toget in the habit of going out a
lot more. So like I said, I'vecircled these events, put them
(15:24):
up on my calendar. And then Imade it a point to because I
kind of had a made it make adeal with myself, because I
didn't really want to go to someof these things. I said, Look,
I'll go, I'll go for at least 30to 45 minutes. And if it's not
fun, I'll leave as simple asthat, like, I don't have to
stay, if you go to something,you don't have to stay, you can
(15:46):
always leave if you're nothaving a good time. And then I'd
also make it a point to Okay, soI'm going to go, I'm going to
try to talk to at least one ortwo people knew that I don't
know, that's a really great, areally great way to get in the
habit of talking to new people.
(16:07):
So when you go out stuff, youwant to keep in mind that a lot
of places that are veryconducive to socializing, where
people are out walking around,like if you go to a movie, it's
not really a great place tosocialize, obviously, because
everyone's sitting down quietlyand watching a movie, maybe
afterwards, or something likethat, like if it's a retro
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movie, because they wouldsometimes be retro movie nights.
In the city, those are prettyfun. I would say that, just be
aware that some places are veryconducive to socializing like a
like a, like an art galleryopening, or a music event, stuff
like that places, that wouldn'tbe very good, as you know, like,
think about like, if at theemergency room of a hospital, or
(16:49):
at a funeral, those aren't verygood places to start chatting up
new people probably. I mean, youprobably could, but probably not
as good as like a an art fairdowntown or something or block
party. So there's definitely alot of places to meet new people
we'll go into more later as wego along. But just be more, just
be aware that there's a lot ofplaces that you're probably not
(17:10):
checking out that you could ifyou just expand your expand your
repertoire of places you go outto, I mean, other things that I
check out is like newrestaurants that look good, that
I wanted to check out or new newbars or new bars that opened up
something like a, you know, openair, beer garden or something
(17:30):
like that, always want to checkout new places, because the more
places that you know, have inyour plate in your, in your city
that are new, and that you couldtake other people to because you
know people are always no matterwho you are, is a little nervous
about going somewhere new. Butif you go with someone who's
already been there and kind ofknows the scene, it's kind of
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like you're a little you're kindof like acting like a shepherd.
In some ways, I don't know. Butit's always cool to take people
to places that you know of thatare new, and they're, they're
cool, and they're fun. And justbe in the know, you always want
to be in the know. Okay, solet's now talk about what to
talk about. I mean, it'sbasically the heart of a
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conversation, the meat, the meatof the platter. Or if you're a
vegetarian, the kale of theplatter. Something that would be
good to develop is your sense ofcuriosity. I think I've always
been somewhat curious. But nowthat we have the internet, now
(18:34):
that we have YouTube, and nowthat everyone's got a
smartphone, you can always lookup stuff, anything that pops in
your head,like some kind of weird topic
off off the top of your headtopic. Just look it up and just
start diving into it. I knowlike a couple months ago, I
heard that the heavyweightchampion of the world. This guy
(18:57):
named Tyson fury had just becamethe champion of the world. And I
used to be into boxing a lotwhen I was younger. I'd watch it
every Thursday night. It'd beThursday night boxing. But then
I got out of it. But I don'tknow anytime I hear about a new
heavyweight champ. I'm alwayscurious who it is. So I went on
(19:18):
YouTube and I just typed inTyson fury. You know, best fight
highlights or whatever. And Iwas blown away. This guy is an
amazing boxer. He's got like themost brutal body shot right hand
I've ever seen in my life. Helike knocks people out with body
shots, which is which is veryrare to ever see. Somebody get
(19:39):
knocked out with a body shot. SoI mean, just like you know, I
heard about it. I looked it up.
Now I know. And I actually endedup I was with the new coworker
and we were talking and theconversation was kind of dying
down and I asked him if he'sever heard of Tyson fury. He's
like, No, I'm like, Oh, do youwatch fox and he's like, oh
(19:59):
yeah. I like boxing. I'm like inMMA and stuff like that. So
next, you know, we're talkingabout boxing and stuff. And
that's just like, you know, Iwas curious about something, I
looked it up. And next thing youknow, it helped the
conversation, keep going andstuff like that. So be curious.
I heard a good tip A long timeago was to be a renaissance man,
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or a renaissance woman.
Basically, someone who may thinklike Leonardo da Vinci would be
considered the originalrenaissance man, because he was
into engineering and science andart. He was like a brilliant
artist, a brilliant engineer.
And also maybe someone else likeBenjamin Franklin. He was a real
(20:43):
renaissance man. It was like areally good writer, great
politician, and inventor, heinvented a lot of a lot of
things. So be like that, just beinterested in every range of
topic you can think of. Becausenot only is having range in your
conversation, I want to mentionit as well. You should have
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range when you go out, youshould be able to be
comfortable. In a dive bar, or afancy club, like dressed up, or
just dressed way down, youshould be able to have range in
your social life and also inyour topics. So things like
science, history, politics, art,music, pop culture, technology,
(21:29):
like video games, or whatever.
Film sports in line. Now, a lotof people aren't into sports. I
am in the sports Not that Ireally spent a lot of time
watching them. Like I alwayswatch. If a championship game is
on. I'll definitely watch it. Ithink that sports is always it's
always like a very, it's likeone. It's just one thing in your
(21:52):
tool bag of tools. You can likealways talk about sports, like
oh, yeah, you got a favoritefootball team. My favorite team
is the LA Rams. I mean, I couldalways talk about sports to
someone, just because like, Ikind of follow it. But I'll
definitely watch like highlightsof like, Star athletes like, you
know, Kobe Bryant, or MichaelJordan or Mike Tyson. Like
(22:14):
anyone I could remember. LikeRay Lewis was like a defensive
football player. He had like themost brutal hits. So just watch
highlights of sports athletesand stuff. I mean, it doesn't
take a long time. And it's like,you might find that it's
actually super cool to watchthose highlight reels are pretty
cool. I noticed too, that likeif I'm watching, like a TV show,
(22:36):
or a movie, and they mentionedsomething, that's I'm like, Oh,
I'm not sure what they'retalking about. I'll look it up.
Like I was watching goodwillhunting the other day. The
professor was trying to convinceRobin Williams into taking on
the new client that will huntingand he's like he's he mentioned.
(22:57):
He's like, he mentioned thisguy. He's like, you remember
Ramana and john, or somethinglike that. And he's like,
he's just like the next Romanajohn. I'm like, What the Who the
hell's he talking? I never heardof this guy. So I looked him up.
And next thing, I'm watching abiography on Ramana. JOHN, like
I paused that movie. And Ijumped over to another window
(23:18):
and sort of watching thisbiography on this guy named
Ramana. JOHN, I think it waslike the 1940s or 50s. This,
this guy from India had was amath genius, but he had no
formal education. But he hadlike, a couple math books. And
he had just masteredmathematics. And I don't know,
(23:39):
it was a really interestingbiography. But I do that a lot.
Like I'll watch, I'll hear aboutsomething and I'll, I'll type in
the person's biography. Like Iwas watching, I was driving the
other day for work. And I hearda old Tupac song and I used to
like to park a lot. And I waslike, I, you know, I should when
I get home, I want to watch aTupac biography, because I don't
(24:01):
really know that much about him.
But it was pretty interestingwatching. Like, I found out that
his mother was in was actuallyin the Black Panthers and stuff
like that. And, and she hadtalked to him a lot about, you
know, society and, and theirculture and stuff like that. And
I was like, Oh, well, that makesa lot of sense. Because he does
talk about not only I mean, heobviously talks a lot about thug
(24:23):
life, but he had actually had alot of positive messages to in
his music. So I would recommendjust watching as many
biographies as you can aboutpeople. Yeah, so I would
recommend watching just a lot ofbiographies about all kinds of
people that you've heard ofpeople in pop culture, look up.
You know, history. Watch a lotof stuff about history and
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stuff, because that's reallyinteresting topics that people
do like to talk about anythingthat it's good to know more
about politics. Whatever yourpolitical wherever you land on
the political spectrum, like Iwatch a lot of stuff from both
on the left and the right, likeI try to be somewhere in the
center, at least know whatpeople are saying on both sides
(25:13):
of the dome, don't just be in abubble where you only hear stuff
from your side, spending quite abit of time listening to both
sides. I think that's reallyimportant. I watch a lot of
music biographies, too, anythingabout music was really
interesting to me. I'll read alot about science stuff stuff
going on in science. Becausewhat happens is, the more you
(25:35):
know about so many differenttopics in different areas, the
more you can actually makedifferent subtle connections
between them. That way, like ifsomeone mentioned something that
you might not have anything, youknow, don't know anything about.
Like, if someone's talking aboutlike a car they bought, you can
at least like talk about the erathat the car came in, came up,
(25:57):
or maybe the company that it wasmade by, like, you know, that's
another thing I'm reallyinterested in, too, is
businesses, like, you know,different companies and stuff
like I'm into, like, I'll watchstock market and stuff like that
information. So make sure youjust dive as much into every
topic sheet as you can, it justhelps so much more. When, when
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you're in conversation, like ifyou'll hear about a big movie
that comes out, you don't evenhave to watch the movie, at
least just watch the trailer.
Like I watch a lot of filmtrailers, oh, watch a lot of
movie reviews. Like if there's amovie that I really liked. I'll
go back, like even if it was 10years ago, I'll just like if I
(26:42):
remember it, I'll watch a moviereview from that. And I might
even watch several movie reviewsabout it. That helps a lot,
because you'll see a lot ofstuff that you didn't catch.
Like, I watched a lot of Iwatched several Movie Reviews
recently on the matrix. Like Istarted watching the matrix
again. The first one wasamazing. Other two weren't that
(27:03):
good. So I'll actually watchmovie reviews for movies that
are bad, too. And to see whyexactly. They were bad. And now
I know why. The second matrixwas terrible. Basically just
wasn't, I just wasn't writtenvery well, they didn't really
know what to do with thecharacters. And I realized why
it didn't make sense either.
Because the whole time in thesecond matrix, when Neo is
(27:26):
trying to get back to thesource. And all the guys are
trying to everyone's trying tostop them from the matrix. It's
like, well, he's supposed to goback to the source. Why is
everyone in the matrix trying tostop them? Like it just doesn't
make sense. So anyway, I wouldalso recommend, as far as what
to talk about, trying a lot ofnew things like going out and
(27:49):
try a lot of new restaurants andstuff like different foods, like
if you go to the same fiverestaurants. I'm sure they're
great. Butyou should always be trying that
new place like I made it a pointfor like six months to like,
always go eat somewhere new. AndHoly cow, man, you've really
quickly learned a lot ofdifferent places. If you can,
one thing that I do when I getthere, especially if I go
(28:12):
somewhere new, I always ask theperson who's serving me, I'm
like, Well, what do yourecommend, like what's really
good, I've never been here. Andyou'll usually get like
something really good. I'm and Iwould also say try to be very
discerning or develop yourability ability to be
discerning. And I want toquickly say about that. I like
(28:33):
to look up words, because I wantto know that I'm saying the
exact right word for what I meanwhich which hold on. So
discerning find the definition.
It just means discernment is theability, ability to obtain sharp
(28:53):
perceptions or to judge Well, inthe case of judgment,
discernment can bepsychological, moral or
aesthetic in nature. The abilityto judge Well, basically. So
what I what I mean by that is,so, you know, I like hamburgers,
but I always have in the back inmy mind of like, I'm trying to
(29:14):
find the very best burger in thecity. So I do have like, some
favorite places. So like ifsomeone says, I'll ask other
people like who like I'm like,Well, where do you Where do you
think the best burger in thecity is? And then I'll check it
out if it's if I've never beenthere before. I don't know. It's
just something fun to do. Like Ialso do that with like pizza
like what's the best pizza? Andmy brother? he's a he's a he's a
(29:38):
chef. And I asked him the otherday. I was like, Oh, hey, so
what's what's your favoriteburger? We're like, what's your
favorite burger places you'vebeen do? Like your favorite
burger. And you know when hetold me he said, he said well, i
think i think i think Carl's Jr.
has the best burger and I waslike, dude, I If the racers
(29:58):
asked you what the best I didn'task you what the best fast food
burger was. And like you're achef, you should have like more
discernment about this. Like youdon't have like a favorite
burger. I was like blown away.
Like I expected him to saysomething bad as burger spot
like no one no one knew aboutbut no, no, he can't. He gave me
(30:19):
like he gave me like, BurgerKing or Carl's Jr. Or something
like that. I was so disappointedand I let them know how
disappointed I was. I thinkthat's about it for this week.
So yeah, so this week, we talkedabout where didn't meet new
people and things to talk about.
We'll definitely go into more ofthat stuff as we go along. But I
just wanted to give you a bigchunk of it right now because
(30:42):
it's good to know that stuff.
Next week, we're going to betalking about active listening
and being present, becauselistening and being present,
obviously, is very important. SoI appreciate guys tuning in
again. I hope your week as well.
And I will talk to you nextweek. Take care
Hey, everybody, welcome back to the social skills lab,
where we dive into the mostimportant skill you'll ever
learn your social skills. Why isthat? Well, because it makes
life more fun. It also makes iteasier and more interesting.
(00:35):
makes your job a lot easier.
opens up all kinds of avenues.
I'm your host, Nathan Ahmet.
I've been learning social skillsfor about 15 years. And yeah,
just I'm just a regular guy thatwent from being pretty shy to
pretty social. And I have a lot.
(01:00):
I've got a long way to gomyself, but I just figured, hey,
I'll just take a Why don't wejust take a little journey with
me, I guess.
Okay, so last week, we talkedabout body language, and
approbation, which also justmeans praise a couple things
(01:21):
about that one dimension. Sobody language. Another aspect of
body language is like your handgestures. Like when you talk
like how emotive you are, howexpressive you are with your
hands, you can actually do quitea bit of expressiveness with
your hands as well. So somethingthat I'd recommend is go on
(01:45):
YouTube and watch some videos ofsome of the big late night hosts
like Jimmy Kimmel, or I'm tryingto blank right now, Steven Cole,
bear anyone. That's kind of likea regular late night host. Oh,
Jimmy Fallon, too. And then, sojust watch some clips of when
(02:06):
they do their monologues, likewhen they were in front of a
live audience. And you can seehow expressive they are with
their hands. And then it's sonatural. It's basically expert
level hand gestures. Just togive you an idea of some hand
gestures you might want toadopt, like, if you see anyone
doing something cool. Just takeit, you know, make it your own.
(02:30):
No one's got a patent on like,Great hand gestures, or great
phrases. So it's a good way tolearn how to make your hands
more expressive, just helps youcommunicate better. Another
thing about having really goodbody languages, it really plays
a big part in your vibe. Sothat's another key thing about
(02:51):
communicating is you always wantto have a really good vibe. Your
body language is basically a bigpart of having an interesting
and positive vibe. On theanother on the other topic of
our probation, we talked about,you know, giving genuine
compliments when you actuallyfelt when you actually
(03:14):
experience something that like,Oh, yeah, that was great. One
thing I don't think I mentionedwas at work, that's like a
really great place, giveapprobation and praise out. When
I was working at this company.
We were doing installations ofcopiers and printers at these
different hospitals. We were ondifferent we were on teams, and
we all were pretty much brandnew. We all started at the same
(03:36):
time. The boss was alwayschecking in to make sure things
how things were going. I alwaysmade it a point to remember
which co workers were doingreally well. And I would mention
to him, oh, yeah, you know, Mikeis doing a really good job. Or,
you know, Phil, he, he, we hadthis issue in the, in the,
(04:05):
in the pharmacy department. Andhe knew how to he was really
good with the software he like,I didn't think we were going to
get it figured out. But he wasable to get it get it going. So
I mentioned these things to theboss, like who was doing a good
job, like a really good job. AndI was very specific. Like I
wouldn't just be generalizinglike, Oh, yeah, he's good. I
(04:25):
always made specific points ofwhy the personnel doing a good
job and so next thing you know,he I found out that he would
regularly ask me how someone wasdoing. And I don't know, just
for some reason, I believe whenyou do that at work, it gives
you credibility, just by givingother people praise and specific
(04:48):
praise. It just actually notonly makes them look better, it
makes you look better. So kindof like a decent tactic to use
to use at work. This one coworker of mine I mean, everyone
already knew he was really good.
But I told the boss, I'm like,Man, this guy's like a genius at
the job. Like, he knowseverything about the product.
And every time, I feel like Ihave an issue, I always call him
(05:08):
and he usually helps me quite abit. And the guy actually ended
up getting promoted to be mysupervisor. I think about a year
later, or six months later, hewas still like, doing a really
good job. So I sent an email tomy boss, about how like, Oh,
yeah, you know, Dustin's beendoing a really good job. Just
(05:28):
wanna let you know that everytime I call him, he's always
available, and bla bla, bla,bla, bla. I don't really
remember specifics, but I wasjust, you know, I just thought
I'd give a shout out to him,send an email to my boss about
it. And then, you know, a couplehours later, I realized, I saw
an email that he had forwardedback to his boss, and then
another manager, and then alsoto Dustin. And then Dustin
(05:50):
replied back, thanking for He'slike, really appreciate it.
Getting positive. He likespositive feedback from
customers. But positive feedbackfrom co workers means even more,
and I don't know, I was justlike, there's something so easy
to do. I mean, I was bored atwork anyway, there wasn't really
much going on. So I just feltlike, oh, let's do this. And it
goes around pretty quick. And,yeah, so stuff like that just, I
(06:15):
think it can be very effectiveat work. Because you know, most
people at work, they very rarelyget positive feedback, at least
genuine positive feedback. So,hey, I recommend doing it, I
ended up getting pushed up tobeing a lead to as well. So, you
know, it also helps your careerfor me in in weird ways that you
(06:38):
don't really expect. Okay, so,this week, we are going to go
into where to meet new people,and also, what to talk about. I
hear that quite a bit. It'slike, Well, what do you what do
you talk about when you'resocializing? And I totally get
that, because when I was firststarting out, like I'm so I was
(07:00):
so in my head. And, you know, Iwould think of things to talk
about, but I just wouldn't sayit, because I don't know just
didn't seem like oh, no, maybethey didn't really want to talk
about that, or whatever. Iactually have difficulty
remembering what it was, like,when I first started because it
was a it was a long time ago.
But be it's like, now it justseems so natural and relatively
(07:24):
easy that it's hard for me toput myself back in that mind
space, I hope that you aregetting something out of it. At
least, you know, I tried to givea lot of like, a lot of tips and
stuff and, you know, smallpractical ideas, as well as like
big overarching ideas, I reallyhope you're getting something at
least out of it. I just say thatif you don't really know where
(07:44):
to start, just start somewhere.
I remember I was studying with afriend of mine. And he was kind
of behind and we had like a testcoming up. And he's like, like,
I had some ideas of what we'regonna go over. And he's like,
man, I don't even know where tostart. And I was like, do you
just start somewhere? Becausethat's what I do. Actually, when
I feel overwhelmed, just startsomewhere. And next, you know,
(08:04):
you'll start figuring out, okay,I need to work on that. And that
in this order, or whatever.
Let's talk about where to meetnew people. So back, let's go
back to when I was kind ofgetting started. I was I
mentioned before that I wasreally into the music scene, I
(08:24):
was really into DJing andelectronic music, like house and
techno and stuff. And I would goout to like events and stuff
like that go to undergroundparties or clubs. I started
going to mark more to clubs andstuff just because of where I
was living. There was moreclubs, there was like weekly
events going on.
And I had just moved back toCalifornia. And most of my
(08:48):
friends had moved away. But Idid have one friend that was
still around. So who was alsointerested in into the same
music. So I started going out tothese different music clubs. And
I found a good weekly event thatwas in Northern California was
in Sacramento. And I startedgoing almost every week, because
(09:09):
I liked the the music. They wereplaying there. And I just kept
running into the same people.
And I'd be by the by the speakeror something. And I noticed
someone else was there bythemselves. And I'm like, Hey,
how's it going? I was like, Whatdo you think of the DJ or
something like that? We juststart start talking about music
or something. Sometimes you'dhit it off. Sometimes you
wouldn't. After so many weeks ofdoing this. I kept running into
(09:30):
the same people.
So you'd be like talking to themand talking for a minute and
you're like, Hey, I'm going togo get a beer you want one?
They're like yeah, sure to getnext, you know, you both go over
to the bar and you're justchopping it up at the bar. And
then maybe their friend wouldcome up and they would say hi
and introduce you to theirfriend and stuff like that,
which is a godsend because it'sa way easier way to meet
(09:54):
people's when they're beingintroduced to someone. So I make
it a very big point to alwaysintroduce people to each other,
it's really important to alwaysintroduce people because some
people aren't very good at that.
They, I don't know, you'll justbe talking and they'll be
talking. And after a while,you're like, hey, oh, yeah, by
the way, I'm so and so. Andthey're like, Oh, yeah, be just
(10:14):
because the third, the secondperson didn't introduce you. So
always make it a point tointroduce people. I do, I do it
a lot. So, back to the I wasjust going to a lot of these
events. And next, you know,you're starting to meet people,
these music things. And ifyou're going regularly, if it's
(10:35):
a relatively small music scene,which just was you just run into
the same people. And the nextthing, you know, they're like,
Oh, so what are you doing afterafter this is over? Like, yeah,
I'm not sure. And they're like,well, there's a, there's an
after party at so and says, Youshould go. So next thing, you
know, you're going to an afterparty, you meet more people
there, you meet their friends.
(10:56):
This would this actually startedto snowball pretty quickly to
where I was, I'd go out, a lotof times, it'd be an after
party, you go to an after party.
And then you find out aboutanother event. Like you don't
always find out about events,like just pop up on your phone
or something like that youactually hear about him from
other people. And especially ifyou I don't know, I always found
(11:17):
the people that I hit it offwith the most, we're into almost
the exact same type of music Iwas into. So when they found out
when they would mention it in amusic event. And make it a point
to go because it's probably thetype of music I was into.
Because there's so manydifferent types of genres of
music, you never really always.
(11:39):
Sometimes you weren't reallyinto the music or whatever. So I
found that basically, this wasone of the best places to
socialize and meet new peopleand practice my social skills.
Because people who go to musicevents were usually very social
themselves. I mean, there wasshy people too, but they wanted
(12:00):
to socialize, you go out, youwant to socialize. So they were
very upbeat. They like to havefun, which is, Hey, who doesn't
like to have fun? That'sbasically the name of the game,
isn't it? So I just found thatif you have Well, let me just
segue into the next section Iwas going to talk about is, I
heard this advice that if youreally want to maximize your
(12:24):
ability to socialize, if youreally want to maximize your
ability to socialize with a lotof people, a lot of new people,
you may want to move to a city.
Like if you live in the boonies,if you live in the middle of
nowhere, if you live in a placewhere you've grown up all your
life, and you keep basicallymeeting the same people and it's
hard to meet new people orwhatever. It's a pretty big
(12:46):
step, obviously, to move to abig city, or to a bigger city.
Holy cow, it was it reallychanged the game. And I remember
when I heard that I'm like,okay, that's that sounds like
pretty good advice. But I'm, Idon't know if I can move right
away. But it, it might besomething I want to work
(13:07):
towards. So I mean, it took meprobably about a year or two,
but it wasn't long. And nextthing you know, I was in a big
city and holy cow just reallyall sudden, there's so much more
stuff to do. There's so manymore people to mean, I don't
know people live in big cities,or they'd like to do a lot of
stuff because there's so muchstuff going on. And just really
makes things so much easier to,to get out and do stuff. When I
(13:32):
was moving. When I lived inSacramento, there was a weekly
newspaper or magazine that wouldcome out. And there's like these
newsstands all around the city.
It's called Sacramento news andreview.
And I would make sure to go andget one every week. And then I
would just like I had a calendarup on my wall, make sure you
(13:53):
have a calendar up on your wall.
And so I had a calendar up on mywall. And I would get this
weekly newspaper. And what Iwould do is basically I'd open
it up and go through it. Andthere was a calendar. It's just
like a music, arts and culture,weekly magazine, almost every
big city has one. And I wouldjust open it up, look at the
(14:14):
calendar, see what's coming upfor this week or this month,
circle everything that lookinteresting to me, and I would
put it on my calendar if I was,you know, I wasn't ever sure if
I was going to go or not. But atleast I had it on my calendar.
Usually, a couple days before Imight get pretty excited about
going to something I might callup someone and be like, hey,
this thing is going on, you wantto go. And a lot of times I
(14:36):
would just go by myself, if Icouldn't find anyone else that
wanted to go. And I'm a shyperson. That's not something I
really liked to do to go out anddo something by myself,
especially when I first started.
But I said you know what, I'mjust gonna start saying yes to
everything that comes my way.
That's a really good tip. Juststart saying yes to everything
(15:00):
that comes your way. Becauseyou'll find that a lot of stuff
actually does pop up, likesomeone says, oh, they're having
a barbecue, or there's thisevent at work, or there's,
here's something on the radio,that sounds cool. Just start
saying yes to everything and toget in the habit of going out a
lot more. So like I said, I'vecircled these events, put them
(15:24):
up on my calendar. And then Imade it a point to because I
kind of had a made it make adeal with myself, because I
didn't really want to go to someof these things. I said, Look,
I'll go, I'll go for at least 30to 45 minutes. And if it's not
fun, I'll leave as simple asthat, like, I don't have to
stay, if you go to something,you don't have to stay, you can
(15:46):
always leave if you're nothaving a good time. And then I'd
also make it a point to Okay, soI'm going to go, I'm going to
try to talk to at least one ortwo people knew that I don't
know, that's a really great, areally great way to get in the
habit of talking to new people.
(16:07):
So when you go out stuff, youwant to keep in mind that a lot
of places that are veryconducive to socializing, where
people are out walking around,like if you go to a movie, it's
not really a great place tosocialize, obviously, because
everyone's sitting down quietlyand watching a movie, maybe
afterwards, or something likethat, like if it's a retro
(16:28):
movie, because they wouldsometimes be retro movie nights.
In the city, those are prettyfun. I would say that, just be
aware that some places are veryconducive to socializing like a
like a, like an art galleryopening, or a music event, stuff
like that places, that wouldn'tbe very good, as you know, like,
think about like, if at theemergency room of a hospital, or
(16:49):
at a funeral, those aren't verygood places to start chatting up
new people probably. I mean, youprobably could, but probably not
as good as like a an art fairdowntown or something or block
party. So there's definitely alot of places to meet new people
we'll go into more later as wego along. But just be more, just
be aware that there's a lot ofplaces that you're probably not
(17:10):
checking out that you could ifyou just expand your expand your
repertoire of places you go outto, I mean, other things that I
check out is like newrestaurants that look good, that
I wanted to check out or new newbars or new bars that opened up
something like a, you know, openair, beer garden or something
(17:30):
like that, always want to checkout new places, because the more
places that you know, have inyour plate in your, in your city
that are new, and that you couldtake other people to because you
know people are always no matterwho you are, is a little nervous
about going somewhere new. Butif you go with someone who's
already been there and kind ofknows the scene, it's kind of
(17:51):
like you're a little you're kindof like acting like a shepherd.
In some ways, I don't know. Butit's always cool to take people
to places that you know of thatare new, and they're, they're
cool, and they're fun. And justbe in the know, you always want
to be in the know. Okay, solet's now talk about what to
talk about. I mean, it'sbasically the heart of a
(18:13):
conversation, the meat, the meatof the platter. Or if you're a
vegetarian, the kale of theplatter. Something that would be
good to develop is your sense ofcuriosity. I think I've always
been somewhat curious. But nowthat we have the internet, now
(18:34):
that we have YouTube, and nowthat everyone's got a
smartphone, you can always lookup stuff, anything that pops in
your head,like some kind of weird topic
off off the top of your headtopic. Just look it up and just
start diving into it. I knowlike a couple months ago, I
heard that the heavyweightchampion of the world. This guy
(18:57):
named Tyson fury had just becamethe champion of the world. And I
used to be into boxing a lotwhen I was younger. I'd watch it
every Thursday night. It'd beThursday night boxing. But then
I got out of it. But I don'tknow anytime I hear about a new
heavyweight champ. I'm alwayscurious who it is. So I went on
(19:18):
YouTube and I just typed inTyson fury. You know, best fight
highlights or whatever. And Iwas blown away. This guy is an
amazing boxer. He's got like themost brutal body shot right hand
I've ever seen in my life. Helike knocks people out with body
shots, which is which is veryrare to ever see. Somebody get
(19:39):
knocked out with a body shot. SoI mean, just like you know, I
heard about it. I looked it up.
Now I know. And I actually endedup I was with the new coworker
and we were talking and theconversation was kind of dying
down and I asked him if he'sever heard of Tyson fury. He's
like, No, I'm like, Oh, do youwatch fox and he's like, oh
(19:59):
yeah. I like boxing. I'm like inMMA and stuff like that. So
next, you know, we're talkingabout boxing and stuff. And
that's just like, you know, Iwas curious about something, I
looked it up. And next thing youknow, it helped the
conversation, keep going andstuff like that. So be curious.
I heard a good tip A long timeago was to be a renaissance man,
(20:23):
or a renaissance woman.
Basically, someone who may thinklike Leonardo da Vinci would be
considered the originalrenaissance man, because he was
into engineering and science andart. He was like a brilliant
artist, a brilliant engineer.
And also maybe someone else likeBenjamin Franklin. He was a real
(20:43):
renaissance man. It was like areally good writer, great
politician, and inventor, heinvented a lot of a lot of
things. So be like that, just beinterested in every range of
topic you can think of. Becausenot only is having range in your
conversation, I want to mentionit as well. You should have
(21:04):
range when you go out, youshould be able to be
comfortable. In a dive bar, or afancy club, like dressed up, or
just dressed way down, youshould be able to have range in
your social life and also inyour topics. So things like
science, history, politics, art,music, pop culture, technology,
(21:29):
like video games, or whatever.
Film sports in line. Now, a lotof people aren't into sports. I
am in the sports Not that Ireally spent a lot of time
watching them. Like I alwayswatch. If a championship game is
on. I'll definitely watch it. Ithink that sports is always it's
always like a very, it's likeone. It's just one thing in your
(21:52):
tool bag of tools. You can likealways talk about sports, like
oh, yeah, you got a favoritefootball team. My favorite team
is the LA Rams. I mean, I couldalways talk about sports to
someone, just because like, Ikind of follow it. But I'll
definitely watch like highlightsof like, Star athletes like, you
know, Kobe Bryant, or MichaelJordan or Mike Tyson. Like
(22:14):
anyone I could remember. LikeRay Lewis was like a defensive
football player. He had like themost brutal hits. So just watch
highlights of sports athletesand stuff. I mean, it doesn't
take a long time. And it's like,you might find that it's
actually super cool to watchthose highlight reels are pretty
cool. I noticed too, that likeif I'm watching, like a TV show,
(22:36):
or a movie, and they mentionedsomething, that's I'm like, Oh,
I'm not sure what they'retalking about. I'll look it up.
Like I was watching goodwillhunting the other day. The
professor was trying to convinceRobin Williams into taking on
the new client that will huntingand he's like he's he mentioned.
(22:57):
He's like, he mentioned thisguy. He's like, you remember
Ramana and john, or somethinglike that. And he's like,
he's just like the next Romanajohn. I'm like, What the Who the
hell's he talking? I never heardof this guy. So I looked him up.
And next thing, I'm watching abiography on Ramana. JOHN, like
I paused that movie. And Ijumped over to another window
(23:18):
and sort of watching thisbiography on this guy named
Ramana. JOHN, I think it waslike the 1940s or 50s. This,
this guy from India had was amath genius, but he had no
formal education. But he hadlike, a couple math books. And
he had just masteredmathematics. And I don't know,
(23:39):
it was a really interestingbiography. But I do that a lot.
Like I'll watch, I'll hear aboutsomething and I'll, I'll type in
the person's biography. Like Iwas watching, I was driving the
other day for work. And I hearda old Tupac song and I used to
like to park a lot. And I waslike, I, you know, I should when
I get home, I want to watch aTupac biography, because I don't
(24:01):
really know that much about him.
But it was pretty interestingwatching. Like, I found out that
his mother was in was actuallyin the Black Panthers and stuff
like that. And, and she hadtalked to him a lot about, you
know, society and, and theirculture and stuff like that. And
I was like, Oh, well, that makesa lot of sense. Because he does
talk about not only I mean, heobviously talks a lot about thug
(24:23):
life, but he had actually had alot of positive messages to in
his music. So I would recommendjust watching as many
biographies as you can aboutpeople. Yeah, so I would
recommend watching just a lot ofbiographies about all kinds of
people that you've heard ofpeople in pop culture, look up.
You know, history. Watch a lotof stuff about history and
(24:50):
stuff, because that's reallyinteresting topics that people
do like to talk about anythingthat it's good to know more
about politics. Whatever yourpolitical wherever you land on
the political spectrum, like Iwatch a lot of stuff from both
on the left and the right, likeI try to be somewhere in the
center, at least know whatpeople are saying on both sides
(25:13):
of the dome, don't just be in abubble where you only hear stuff
from your side, spending quite abit of time listening to both
sides. I think that's reallyimportant. I watch a lot of
music biographies, too, anythingabout music was really
interesting to me. I'll read alot about science stuff stuff
going on in science. Becausewhat happens is, the more you
(25:35):
know about so many differenttopics in different areas, the
more you can actually makedifferent subtle connections
between them. That way, like ifsomeone mentioned something that
you might not have anything, youknow, don't know anything about.
Like, if someone's talking aboutlike a car they bought, you can
at least like talk about the erathat the car came in, came up,
(25:57):
or maybe the company that it wasmade by, like, you know, that's
another thing I'm reallyinterested in, too, is
businesses, like, you know,different companies and stuff
like I'm into, like, I'll watchstock market and stuff like that
information. So make sure youjust dive as much into every
topic sheet as you can, it justhelps so much more. When, when
(26:21):
you're in conversation, like ifyou'll hear about a big movie
that comes out, you don't evenhave to watch the movie, at
least just watch the trailer.
Like I watch a lot of filmtrailers, oh, watch a lot of
movie reviews. Like if there's amovie that I really liked. I'll
go back, like even if it was 10years ago, I'll just like if I
(26:42):
remember it, I'll watch a moviereview from that. And I might
even watch several movie reviewsabout it. That helps a lot,
because you'll see a lot ofstuff that you didn't catch.
Like, I watched a lot of Iwatched several Movie Reviews
recently on the matrix. Like Istarted watching the matrix
again. The first one wasamazing. Other two weren't that
(27:03):
good. So I'll actually watchmovie reviews for movies that
are bad, too. And to see whyexactly. They were bad. And now
I know why. The second matrixwas terrible. Basically just
wasn't, I just wasn't writtenvery well, they didn't really
know what to do with thecharacters. And I realized why
it didn't make sense either.
Because the whole time in thesecond matrix, when Neo is
(27:26):
trying to get back to thesource. And all the guys are
trying to everyone's trying tostop them from the matrix. It's
like, well, he's supposed to goback to the source. Why is
everyone in the matrix trying tostop them? Like it just doesn't
make sense. So anyway, I wouldalso recommend, as far as what
to talk about, trying a lot ofnew things like going out and
(27:49):
try a lot of new restaurants andstuff like different foods, like
if you go to the same fiverestaurants. I'm sure they're
great. Butyou should always be trying that
new place like I made it a pointfor like six months to like,
always go eat somewhere new. AndHoly cow, man, you've really
quickly learned a lot ofdifferent places. If you can,
one thing that I do when I getthere, especially if I go
(28:12):
somewhere new, I always ask theperson who's serving me, I'm
like, Well, what do yourecommend, like what's really
good, I've never been here. Andyou'll usually get like
something really good. I'm and Iwould also say try to be very
discerning or develop yourability ability to be
discerning. And I want toquickly say about that. I like
(28:33):
to look up words, because I wantto know that I'm saying the
exact right word for what I meanwhich which hold on. So
discerning find the definition.
It just means discernment is theability, ability to obtain sharp
(28:53):
perceptions or to judge Well, inthe case of judgment,
discernment can bepsychological, moral or
aesthetic in nature. The abilityto judge Well, basically. So
what I what I mean by that is,so, you know, I like hamburgers,
but I always have in the back inmy mind of like, I'm trying to
(29:14):
find the very best burger in thecity. So I do have like, some
favorite places. So like ifsomeone says, I'll ask other
people like who like I'm like,Well, where do you Where do you
think the best burger in thecity is? And then I'll check it
out if it's if I've never beenthere before. I don't know. It's
just something fun to do. Like Ialso do that with like pizza
like what's the best pizza? Andmy brother? he's a he's a he's a
(29:38):
chef. And I asked him the otherday. I was like, Oh, hey, so
what's what's your favoriteburger? We're like, what's your
favorite burger places you'vebeen do? Like your favorite
burger. And you know when hetold me he said, he said well, i
think i think i think Carl's Jr.
has the best burger and I waslike, dude, I If the racers
(29:58):
asked you what the best I didn'task you what the best fast food
burger was. And like you're achef, you should have like more
discernment about this. Like youdon't have like a favorite
burger. I was like blown away.
Like I expected him to saysomething bad as burger spot
like no one no one knew aboutbut no, no, he can't. He gave me
(30:19):
like he gave me like, BurgerKing or Carl's Jr. Or something
like that. I was so disappointedand I let them know how
disappointed I was. I thinkthat's about it for this week.
So yeah, so this week, we talkedabout where didn't meet new
people and things to talk about.
We'll definitely go into more ofthat stuff as we go along. But I
just wanted to give you a bigchunk of it right now because
(30:42):
it's good to know that stuff.
Next week, we're going to betalking about active listening
and being present, becauselistening and being present,
obviously, is very important. SoI appreciate guys tuning in
again. I hope your week as well.
And I will talk to you nextweek. Take care
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