October 1, 2024 • 19 mins
“If I just — (fill in the blank) — had enough money, got the promotion, had the right team, was in a relationship, had a better job, lived in a different town… THEN I would be happy!” Right?
- What if that ‘one thing’ that is eluding you is your greatest gift?
- And in getting it, you’d be cheated out of all the meaning, and unfolding beauty, of your life?
The tantalizing shortcut, the quick fix - what if that is actually just rushing our life away? They say that we get to the end of life and wish for more time - because we missed the journey.
This week, Stephanie and Maren offer a quick, fun and powerful exploration of that ‘one thing’ that eludes each of us.
Spoiler alert: You were intentionally designed to have the ‘thing’ you can’t solve - we all were. It’s your passport on a journey of joy and delight - if you choose to take it.
- 00:31 The one thing that eludes you
- 03:35 How it’s designed
- 07:25 But, please, just fix this one thing!
- 09:52 Ungrateful buggers, it’s heart work
- 13:29 Beyond the striving, getting there
- 15:32 Meeting the conflict
- 16:16 There must be a shortcut
“There's a reason that that one piece is meant to elude us” - Maren
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Allen (00:04):
In a world where we have everything and
it's still not enough, we'reoften left wondering, is this
really it?
Maren Oslac (00:10):
Deep inside you know, there's more to life. You
are ready to leave behind theold push your way through and
claim the deeper, moremeaningful life that's calling
you.
Stephanie Allen (00:19):
That's what we invite you to explore with us.
We're your hosts, StephanieAllen and
Maren Oslac (00:25):
Maren Oslac, and this is The Soulful Leader
Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (00:30):
Yay!
Maren Oslac (00:31):
Welcome back to The Soulful Leader Podcast. I'm
Maren, and I'm here withStephanie, and we were talking
before we got on about the factthat we all have kind of that
one thing that eludes us, right?
So for somebody, it might be,they just can't make enough
money, right? They can't getpast that always striving to
(00:54):
just barely make ends meet. Andfor another person who's, oh, I
got the money thing covered, butI can't ever quite get healthy
enough, right? Or there'ssomebody who can't ever either
gain enough weight or loseenough weight, right? Like, so
there's, there seems to be thisone thing that each of us has in
(01:15):
our lives that we can't figureout. We've tried all the
stuff...
Stephanie Allen (01:24):
We can't master it. For some reason we don't
feel like we have mastery overit,
Maren Oslac (01:28):
Yeah, it still runs our lives, and we may have all
of the other stuff The reasonthis came up for me was I was
working with a client, andthat's one of the things
is...she's like, I have my wholelife, it is amazing and
wonderful. I've been doingpersonal development work for
(01:49):
last 6 to 10 years and I'm sogood at manifesting things. I've
got this, I've got that. I'vegot the other and I can't do it
in this one area of my life, andit's making me nuts. I can't
figure it out. And I thoughtisn't that true for all of us?
And I know people hide it well.
Stephanie Allen (02:11):
Or sometimes you get one area of your life
you've been focusing on for along time, and it finally gets
like...Ahhhhhh! It finallyharmonizes, right? And then the
other shoe falls off over here.
And then you know, its thisbalancing. You're trying to have
all those plates spinning in thecircus, you know, where the
plate spinner comes along. Andjust as one starts to get going,
(02:32):
another one over there starts toslow down, you got to spin that
one. And then you're runningaround like your head cut off
kind of thing.
Maren Oslac (02:41):
I played that game at my studio. We would get one
element of the studio, becausewe served adults. We had a
children's program because itwas ballroom dance. We had a
kids program, we had an adultprogram. We'd have fitness
program, and we'd get thefitness program like, whoa,
that's like, rockin and theadult program had fallen off,
and they would go and work onthe adult program. So, yeah, the
(03:04):
spinning plates thing. So, Imean that's one of the things as
leaders, you know, like, whatdoes this have to do with
leadership? There does seem tobe even in our businesses, where
we can get certain things goingand then something, there's some
little piece that keeps eludingus. And the thought for me was
(03:31):
that's intentional. There's areason that that one piece is
meant to elude us. So I'm goingto share a story. Last week I
was looking for something. I hadbeen looking for something
literally for months. So someonehad told me a story, and I
(03:53):
didn't know how to spell the thename of the story, so I had been
looking online and I had gottenthis and they said... Oh, I
think it's in the back of thisbook, or maybe this other book.
So I had bought three books, andI had started to read this book
and started to listen to thatperson, and I was on this whole
journey trying to find this onedarn thing, and I happened to
(04:13):
mention it Stephanie. AndStephanie looked it up and it's
right there. Like, literally, ittook her about two minutes
online to find something that Ihad been looking for about four
months.
Stephanie Allen (04:25):
Yeah, and in some of our worlds, we go like,
Oh, isn't that wonderful, isn'tthat great? But I realized that
I had, I had taken away anopportunity of your journey of
discovery.
Maren Oslac (04:37):
And the good news for me was that I had actually
found it, and I had ordered thebook. The book that it's in is
no longer available online, so Ihad to order it. It was on its
way to me, and the journey thatI had taken, and that's what I
realized, was that the journeythat I had taken was the real
(05:02):
reason that I wanted that thing,that I had this longing for the
story that I had heard.
Stephanie Allen (05:09):
Well it's like that saying, you know, it's not
the destination, it's thejourney. We're trying to rush
all our life away only to get tothe end of it for what? Then
we're at the end of it, andwe're like, oh my God, I wish I
had more time, because we missedthe journey, even all those
(05:29):
things like, you know, stop andsmell the roses, all those kind
of sayings, of like, can you bepresent and not try to figure it
out, but to be present to whatmight be calling you? Or what
might be alluding that you mightmiss otherwise?
Maren Oslac (05:46):
I think that's so key. And you know, I mean, I
know for myself, a lot of timeswhen I hear those things, I
think of them almost asplatitude. Stop and smell the
roses... yep! Because it's justYeah, yeah, yeah... I know that.
I know my thinking mind knowsthat, and having had that
(06:09):
experience with you, I know howmuch the book that I read, the
lectures that I listened to inin the attempt to find this one
story, all of the stuff that Idid and that I read, and how
(06:30):
much it changed me, and howexcited I was about everything
that I was learning. And it tookme to the next thing into the
next thing to the next thing tothe point where I kind of almost
forgot about the story.
Stephanie Allen (06:40):
The story may have been that elusive thing to
get you on the journey. It maynot have anything to do with the
Maren Oslac (06:48):
And so it got me thinking about the one thing in
story.
our lives that drives us,because it just eludes us. We
can't quite figure it out, andthe person right next to us, is
like, it's right there. What areyou looking? Like you did,
right? It's right there. Whatdo you mean you can't find it?
(07:09):
It's right here. And so it's notabout the person next to us or
the judgment that they could doit and I can't. It's about my
journey. So every single one ofus is going to have the thing
that eludes us.
Stephanie Allen (07:25):
I often say that to my clients with who are
struggling with pain or illness,who will come and say, can you
just fix this? Can you just makeit go away? And I go, you might
miss it when it's gone,
Maren Oslac (07:38):
Right. I'm taking your gift.
Stephanie Allen (07:40):
Yeah, because there's buried treasure in there
and yeah, I mean, I could helpand support, but I don't
necessarily look at myself as afixer, healer, that kind of
thing. I look at myself assomeone who's a fellow traveler
who's standing next to you witha flashlight and someone to kind
(08:00):
of bounce things off. So I canhelp guide, more than anything,
and question, because, you know,people come in and they... I
recently had that client who hada very short time to live, and,
you know, I said, there's lotsof gifts in this moment,
especially when you know perhapsthat you only have a short time
(08:22):
to live. You're able toreally... and you feel good
because she did. She goes, youhave a, you have an opportunity
to say your goodbyes, to makeamends, to be at peace, to
really savor all the things youlove and find a value in beauty.
And we don't know what theoverall or the overarching plan
(08:44):
of our life is, and whether ornot you believe in God or spirit
or a friendly universe or not,doesn't matter. There's
something that makes ourheartbeat, there's something
that puts air into our lungs.
Where do we go when we sleep atnight? There's all these
questions that we have. I callit the ghost in the machine,
(09:05):
that perhaps these seeminglydifficult conflicts, challenges,
irritations, are not meant to befixed and solved, but they're
meant to send you... they'reyour passport on a journey.
Maren Oslac (09:21):
I love that.
Stephanie Allen (09:22):
You will discover lands that you've never
would have even known werepossible or imaginable. You're
going to meet people that youdidn't even know existed. It's
going to put you in a way thatis going to develop your
character and let go of beliefsand doubts and fears, like
(09:43):
there's such treasure in thejourney. And like what I did
with you, too. You remind your,I think we're so created in this
world to come up with answersand fixes and solutions, and
that when someone disregardsyour fix or solution, you think,
well, that wasn't very gratefulof them. They didn't really
(10:05):
value or appreciate me, didn'tthey? And obviously they don't
want to change, but you mighthave just taken away a key to
their treasure to unlock it.
Maren Oslac (10:17):
And it's not about wel then I just won't help
anybody, right? It's not that.
It's finding that that sweetspot of there are times and
places where it's it'sappropriate for somebody to just
give us something, and it's notours to work through, right? And
then there are the other timesand places where it is ours to
work through. And there'ssomething when I when I think of
(10:38):
this type of work, there's suchjudgment around it. Of, well,
you can't figure that out,what's wrong with you? As if I'm
some sort of a failure, insteadof looking at it as heart work.
This is something that's goingto improve me as a human being,
(10:58):
as a person that's going tochange me from the inside out
and help me to to soar inmyself. And when I look at it
like that, then it's no longerlike, I have to figure this out
and it doesn't feel so crunchy.
Stephanie Allen (11:20):
Oh my gosh, yeah. And I mean, I think if you
look at anything in your lifethat may have been or is a
challenge to you right now, andyou look back maybe even last
month, last year, 10 years, evenwhen you're a child, you're not
the same person, right? I canguarantee you you're not the
(11:43):
same person that you are nowthat you were back then. You
might be parts that are similar.
But I say the same thing, too,when I look at when there is
something that you're seeking,that you're longing for, you're
going to need to evolve in orderto get there, and it's not about
getting there, it's about theevolving.
Maren Oslac (12:06):
It is. And I'm so glad you brought up longing,
because I think for myselfanyway, that's a clue for me
that it's really important forthe piece of me, the part of me
that needs to evolve and notjust get it. So the places where
(12:26):
I have the most longing are thethings that will make me, that
will... I don't even want to usethe word make... that will allow
me to become a different person,the person who can have that,
the person who can be that, theperson that can do that,
whatever that longing is. On asmall level, the story, like I
(12:53):
now have, I now own that story,and I'm so excited I read it
last night. Whoo! (laughter) AndI also have all of the pieces
that went into learning, all thelearning. I'm not the same
person that started looking forthat, you know, four or five,
(13:16):
six months ago. I am definitelya more evolved being, and I
can't tell you how excited I amthat that A, that I have it and
B, that I recognize that.
There's that piece where we getpast the constant striving,
which exhausts... it's justexhausting. We're so exhausted
(13:40):
by that thing we long for, thatwe're striving for, and we have
to try this, we have to do that,we have to buy this solution we
have to do this, we need to takethat pill, and we need to...
Stephanie Allen (13:50):
It's a lot of energy! Oh, my God! I think
sometimes by the time we getthere, wherever.... wherever
there is, you know, it's likeyou finally arrive at your
destination, and you look backand you're like, Wow, is that
it? Like, I'm here, and this isit? I did all of that for this?
(14:13):
You know, we can say, well, nowwhat? Instead, instead of
going...wait a minute, I'm notthe same person. So in the
beginning, the person that wasthat I was looking for this
longing to manifest or to createor fulfill, this longing I had
to change and become and let goof and learn and ask for help
(14:34):
and be vulnerable and cry alittle, and all these things.
Now I'm there, and I'm like...
oh, that's it. I'm here. To beable to turn around and look
back and go... Oh, wait aminute...I have really grown.
I've really changed.
Maren Oslac (14:52):
It's not the thing.
Stephanie Allen (14:54):
Yeah, it's me.
I've changed. And maybe that'sbeen my carrot all along. So
that I would evolve and that Iwould change. And I see this in
relationships, because I hearagain and again people saying,
Oh, I just want to be happy. Ijust want to be happy. And if I
had fill in the blank, you know,enough money or a relationship
or the right job, or I lived ina different town, whatever, then
(15:16):
I would be happy, right?
Maren Oslac (15:20):
If I just got the promotion, if I just had the
right team...
Stephanie Allen (15:24):
And so, but it's this evolution of going for
the dream, because that's a goodthing. Go for what you want,
because it's going to changeyou.
Maren Oslac (15:32):
And that makes me think of the fact that there are
multiple roads to Rome, right?
And I'm not saying the only waythat you get there is by
recognizing that you're on thejourney and enjoying the
journey. That's one way to getthere, and it's so much easier
when you do that.
Stephanie Allen (15:51):
Oh, yeah. How you meet conflict differently,
like Okay, this is pruning me.
This is this is helping meevolve, right? And instead of
running away or fighting it, yougo... okay, what is being asked
of me? What do I need to let goof? What do I need to become?
You're gonna you're gonna focuson the difficulties totally
(16:11):
different, which is gonna giveyou inner resilience,
Maren Oslac (16:16):
Yeah, and I'm going to use the story as an example
Stephanie Allen (16:16):
yeah, you want the shortcut.
of I allowed myself to take thewandering road to find this one
story, and I got completelyinvolved, and I enjoyed it, and
I read all these other stories,and I learned this stuff, and I
(16:36):
went on this fun journey, andthen I also got this bonus of,
ah! now I have the story, right?
And how often in our lives do we
Maren Oslac (16:45):
Give me the shortcut. I want the one thing.
just want to move all that outof the way. That's not
important. That's not important.
I don't care about that guy, whotold you... I just thought...
And so we don't enjoy theprocess, and we'll probably get
(17:10):
there eventually, doing thatshortcut hardcore.
Stephanie Allen (17:15):
But you miss out of the pruning, you miss out
of all the succulents that lifeis trying to give you.
Maren Oslac (17:22):
If you didn't evolve, then something
else...that's the spinningplates thing... something else
is going to fall because there'sstill that need in you that
needs to...there's that part ofyou that needs to evolve and
change and become a differentperson. So some other plate is
(17:42):
going to fall and give youanother opportunity.
Stephanie Allen (17:46):
That's right! This has been great, and I think
anyone out there listening who'sfeeling like they're making up a
story, that they're not goodenough, or that they can't do
it, or they've given up hope, orthey're still fighting, you
know, just stop and notice whatthe journey has given you.
Notice how it's it's actuallyfeeding your soul in ways that
(18:07):
you didn't even know possible,and to claim those gifts,
because there is a purpose,there is a reason that you have
a longing in your heart and adesire, because it's not just
about getting it. It's aboutwhat's going to happen between
point A and point B that isactually the real, real fruit of
your labor.
Maren Oslac (18:26):
I love that. So remember, you can find us every
other week right here at TheSoulful Leader Podcast and you
can find us on our professionalwebsite www.tslp.life. We'll see
you in two weeks on The SoulfulLeader Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (18:54):
And that wraps up another episode of The
Soulful Leader Podcast with yourhost, Stephanie Allen
Maren Oslac (19:00):
and Maren Oslac, thank you for listening. If
you'd like to dive deeper, headover to our website
www.thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com.
Stephanie Allen (19:11):
Until next time...
In a world where we have everything and
it's still not enough, we'reoften left wondering, is this
really it?
Maren Oslac (00:10):
Deep inside you know, there's more to life. You
are ready to leave behind theold push your way through and
claim the deeper, moremeaningful life that's calling
you.
Stephanie Allen (00:19):
That's what we invite you to explore with us.
We're your hosts, StephanieAllen and
Maren Oslac (00:25):
Maren Oslac, and this is The Soulful Leader
Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (00:30):
Yay!
Maren Oslac (00:31):
Welcome back to The Soulful Leader Podcast. I'm
Maren, and I'm here withStephanie, and we were talking
before we got on about the factthat we all have kind of that
one thing that eludes us, right?
So for somebody, it might be,they just can't make enough
money, right? They can't getpast that always striving to
(00:54):
just barely make ends meet. Andfor another person who's, oh, I
got the money thing covered, butI can't ever quite get healthy
enough, right? Or there'ssomebody who can't ever either
gain enough weight or loseenough weight, right? Like, so
there's, there seems to be thisone thing that each of us has in
(01:15):
our lives that we can't figureout. We've tried all the
stuff...
Stephanie Allen (01:24):
We can't master it. For some reason we don't
feel like we have mastery overit,
Maren Oslac (01:28):
Yeah, it still runs our lives, and we may have all
of the other stuff The reasonthis came up for me was I was
working with a client, andthat's one of the things
is...she's like, I have my wholelife, it is amazing and
wonderful. I've been doingpersonal development work for
(01:49):
last 6 to 10 years and I'm sogood at manifesting things. I've
got this, I've got that. I'vegot the other and I can't do it
in this one area of my life, andit's making me nuts. I can't
figure it out. And I thoughtisn't that true for all of us?
And I know people hide it well.
Stephanie Allen (02:11):
Or sometimes you get one area of your life
you've been focusing on for along time, and it finally gets
like...Ahhhhhh! It finallyharmonizes, right? And then the
other shoe falls off over here.
And then you know, its thisbalancing. You're trying to have
all those plates spinning in thecircus, you know, where the
plate spinner comes along. Andjust as one starts to get going,
(02:32):
another one over there starts toslow down, you got to spin that
one. And then you're runningaround like your head cut off
kind of thing.
Maren Oslac (02:41):
I played that game at my studio. We would get one
element of the studio, becausewe served adults. We had a
children's program because itwas ballroom dance. We had a
kids program, we had an adultprogram. We'd have fitness
program, and we'd get thefitness program like, whoa,
that's like, rockin and theadult program had fallen off,
and they would go and work onthe adult program. So, yeah, the
(03:04):
spinning plates thing. So, Imean that's one of the things as
leaders, you know, like, whatdoes this have to do with
leadership? There does seem tobe even in our businesses, where
we can get certain things goingand then something, there's some
little piece that keeps eludingus. And the thought for me was
(03:31):
that's intentional. There's areason that that one piece is
meant to elude us. So I'm goingto share a story. Last week I
was looking for something. I hadbeen looking for something
literally for months. So someonehad told me a story, and I
(03:53):
didn't know how to spell the thename of the story, so I had been
looking online and I had gottenthis and they said... Oh, I
think it's in the back of thisbook, or maybe this other book.
So I had bought three books, andI had started to read this book
and started to listen to thatperson, and I was on this whole
journey trying to find this onedarn thing, and I happened to
(04:13):
mention it Stephanie. AndStephanie looked it up and it's
right there. Like, literally, ittook her about two minutes
online to find something that Ihad been looking for about four
months.
Stephanie Allen (04:25):
Yeah, and in some of our worlds, we go like,
Oh, isn't that wonderful, isn'tthat great? But I realized that
I had, I had taken away anopportunity of your journey of
discovery.
Maren Oslac (04:37):
And the good news for me was that I had actually
found it, and I had ordered thebook. The book that it's in is
no longer available online, so Ihad to order it. It was on its
way to me, and the journey thatI had taken, and that's what I
realized, was that the journeythat I had taken was the real
(05:02):
reason that I wanted that thing,that I had this longing for the
story that I had heard.
Stephanie Allen (05:09):
Well it's like that saying, you know, it's not
the destination, it's thejourney. We're trying to rush
all our life away only to get tothe end of it for what? Then
we're at the end of it, andwe're like, oh my God, I wish I
had more time, because we missedthe journey, even all those
(05:29):
things like, you know, stop andsmell the roses, all those kind
of sayings, of like, can you bepresent and not try to figure it
out, but to be present to whatmight be calling you? Or what
might be alluding that you mightmiss otherwise?
Maren Oslac (05:46):
I think that's so key. And you know, I mean, I
know for myself, a lot of timeswhen I hear those things, I
think of them almost asplatitude. Stop and smell the
roses... yep! Because it's justYeah, yeah, yeah... I know that.
I know my thinking mind knowsthat, and having had that
(06:09):
experience with you, I know howmuch the book that I read, the
lectures that I listened to inin the attempt to find this one
story, all of the stuff that Idid and that I read, and how
(06:30):
much it changed me, and howexcited I was about everything
that I was learning. And it tookme to the next thing into the
next thing to the next thing tothe point where I kind of almost
forgot about the story.
Stephanie Allen (06:40):
The story may have been that elusive thing to
get you on the journey. It maynot have anything to do with the
Maren Oslac (06:48):
And so it got me thinking about the one thing in
story.
our lives that drives us,because it just eludes us. We
can't quite figure it out, andthe person right next to us, is
like, it's right there. What areyou looking? Like you did,
right? It's right there. Whatdo you mean you can't find it?
(07:09):
It's right here. And so it's notabout the person next to us or
the judgment that they could doit and I can't. It's about my
journey. So every single one ofus is going to have the thing
that eludes us.
Stephanie Allen (07:25):
I often say that to my clients with who are
struggling with pain or illness,who will come and say, can you
just fix this? Can you just makeit go away? And I go, you might
miss it when it's gone,
Maren Oslac (07:38):
Right. I'm taking your gift.
Stephanie Allen (07:40):
Yeah, because there's buried treasure in there
and yeah, I mean, I could helpand support, but I don't
necessarily look at myself as afixer, healer, that kind of
thing. I look at myself assomeone who's a fellow traveler
who's standing next to you witha flashlight and someone to kind
(08:00):
of bounce things off. So I canhelp guide, more than anything,
and question, because, you know,people come in and they... I
recently had that client who hada very short time to live, and,
you know, I said, there's lotsof gifts in this moment,
especially when you know perhapsthat you only have a short time
(08:22):
to live. You're able toreally... and you feel good
because she did. She goes, youhave a, you have an opportunity
to say your goodbyes, to makeamends, to be at peace, to
really savor all the things youlove and find a value in beauty.
And we don't know what theoverall or the overarching plan
(08:44):
of our life is, and whether ornot you believe in God or spirit
or a friendly universe or not,doesn't matter. There's
something that makes ourheartbeat, there's something
that puts air into our lungs.
Where do we go when we sleep atnight? There's all these
questions that we have. I callit the ghost in the machine,
(09:05):
that perhaps these seeminglydifficult conflicts, challenges,
irritations, are not meant to befixed and solved, but they're
meant to send you... they'reyour passport on a journey.
Maren Oslac (09:21):
I love that.
Stephanie Allen (09:22):
You will discover lands that you've never
would have even known werepossible or imaginable. You're
going to meet people that youdidn't even know existed. It's
going to put you in a way thatis going to develop your
character and let go of beliefsand doubts and fears, like
(09:43):
there's such treasure in thejourney. And like what I did
with you, too. You remind your,I think we're so created in this
world to come up with answersand fixes and solutions, and
that when someone disregardsyour fix or solution, you think,
well, that wasn't very gratefulof them. They didn't really
(10:05):
value or appreciate me, didn'tthey? And obviously they don't
want to change, but you mighthave just taken away a key to
their treasure to unlock it.
Maren Oslac (10:17):
And it's not about wel then I just won't help
anybody, right? It's not that.
It's finding that that sweetspot of there are times and
places where it's it'sappropriate for somebody to just
give us something, and it's notours to work through, right? And
then there are the other timesand places where it is ours to
work through. And there'ssomething when I when I think of
(10:38):
this type of work, there's suchjudgment around it. Of, well,
you can't figure that out,what's wrong with you? As if I'm
some sort of a failure, insteadof looking at it as heart work.
This is something that's goingto improve me as a human being,
(10:58):
as a person that's going tochange me from the inside out
and help me to to soar inmyself. And when I look at it
like that, then it's no longerlike, I have to figure this out
and it doesn't feel so crunchy.
Stephanie Allen (11:20):
Oh my gosh, yeah. And I mean, I think if you
look at anything in your lifethat may have been or is a
challenge to you right now, andyou look back maybe even last
month, last year, 10 years, evenwhen you're a child, you're not
the same person, right? I canguarantee you you're not the
(11:43):
same person that you are nowthat you were back then. You
might be parts that are similar.
But I say the same thing, too,when I look at when there is
something that you're seeking,that you're longing for, you're
going to need to evolve in orderto get there, and it's not about
getting there, it's about theevolving.
Maren Oslac (12:06):
It is. And I'm so glad you brought up longing,
because I think for myselfanyway, that's a clue for me
that it's really important forthe piece of me, the part of me
that needs to evolve and notjust get it. So the places where
(12:26):
I have the most longing are thethings that will make me, that
will... I don't even want to usethe word make... that will allow
me to become a different person,the person who can have that,
the person who can be that, theperson that can do that,
whatever that longing is. On asmall level, the story, like I
(12:53):
now have, I now own that story,and I'm so excited I read it
last night. Whoo! (laughter) AndI also have all of the pieces
that went into learning, all thelearning. I'm not the same
person that started looking forthat, you know, four or five,
(13:16):
six months ago. I am definitelya more evolved being, and I
can't tell you how excited I amthat that A, that I have it and
B, that I recognize that.
There's that piece where we getpast the constant striving,
which exhausts... it's justexhausting. We're so exhausted
(13:40):
by that thing we long for, thatwe're striving for, and we have
to try this, we have to do that,we have to buy this solution we
have to do this, we need to takethat pill, and we need to...
Stephanie Allen (13:50):
It's a lot of energy! Oh, my God! I think
sometimes by the time we getthere, wherever.... wherever
there is, you know, it's likeyou finally arrive at your
destination, and you look backand you're like, Wow, is that
it? Like, I'm here, and this isit? I did all of that for this?
(14:13):
You know, we can say, well, nowwhat? Instead, instead of
going...wait a minute, I'm notthe same person. So in the
beginning, the person that wasthat I was looking for this
longing to manifest or to createor fulfill, this longing I had
to change and become and let goof and learn and ask for help
(14:34):
and be vulnerable and cry alittle, and all these things.
Now I'm there, and I'm like...
oh, that's it. I'm here. To beable to turn around and look
back and go... Oh, wait aminute...I have really grown.
I've really changed.
Maren Oslac (14:52):
It's not the thing.
Stephanie Allen (14:54):
Yeah, it's me.
I've changed. And maybe that'sbeen my carrot all along. So
that I would evolve and that Iwould change. And I see this in
relationships, because I hearagain and again people saying,
Oh, I just want to be happy. Ijust want to be happy. And if I
had fill in the blank, you know,enough money or a relationship
or the right job, or I lived ina different town, whatever, then
(15:16):
I would be happy, right?
Maren Oslac (15:20):
If I just got the promotion, if I just had the
right team...
Stephanie Allen (15:24):
And so, but it's this evolution of going for
the dream, because that's a goodthing. Go for what you want,
because it's going to changeyou.
Maren Oslac (15:32):
And that makes me think of the fact that there are
multiple roads to Rome, right?
And I'm not saying the only waythat you get there is by
recognizing that you're on thejourney and enjoying the
journey. That's one way to getthere, and it's so much easier
when you do that.
Stephanie Allen (15:51):
Oh, yeah. How you meet conflict differently,
like Okay, this is pruning me.
This is this is helping meevolve, right? And instead of
running away or fighting it, yougo... okay, what is being asked
of me? What do I need to let goof? What do I need to become?
You're gonna you're gonna focuson the difficulties totally
(16:11):
different, which is gonna giveyou inner resilience,
Maren Oslac (16:16):
Yeah, and I'm going to use the story as an example
Stephanie Allen (16:16):
yeah, you want the shortcut.
of I allowed myself to take thewandering road to find this one
story, and I got completelyinvolved, and I enjoyed it, and
I read all these other stories,and I learned this stuff, and I
(16:36):
went on this fun journey, andthen I also got this bonus of,
ah! now I have the story, right?
And how often in our lives do we
Maren Oslac (16:45):
Give me the shortcut. I want the one thing.
just want to move all that outof the way. That's not
important. That's not important.
I don't care about that guy, whotold you... I just thought...
And so we don't enjoy theprocess, and we'll probably get
(17:10):
there eventually, doing thatshortcut hardcore.
Stephanie Allen (17:15):
But you miss out of the pruning, you miss out
of all the succulents that lifeis trying to give you.
Maren Oslac (17:22):
If you didn't evolve, then something
else...that's the spinningplates thing... something else
is going to fall because there'sstill that need in you that
needs to...there's that part ofyou that needs to evolve and
change and become a differentperson. So some other plate is
(17:42):
going to fall and give youanother opportunity.
Stephanie Allen (17:46):
That's right! This has been great, and I think
anyone out there listening who'sfeeling like they're making up a
story, that they're not goodenough, or that they can't do
it, or they've given up hope, orthey're still fighting, you
know, just stop and notice whatthe journey has given you.
Notice how it's it's actuallyfeeding your soul in ways that
(18:07):
you didn't even know possible,and to claim those gifts,
because there is a purpose,there is a reason that you have
a longing in your heart and adesire, because it's not just
about getting it. It's aboutwhat's going to happen between
point A and point B that isactually the real, real fruit of
your labor.
Maren Oslac (18:26):
I love that. So remember, you can find us every
other week right here at TheSoulful Leader Podcast and you
can find us on our professionalwebsite www.tslp.life. We'll see
you in two weeks on The SoulfulLeader Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (18:54):
And that wraps up another episode of The
Soulful Leader Podcast with yourhost, Stephanie Allen
Maren Oslac (19:00):
and Maren Oslac, thank you for listening. If
you'd like to dive deeper, headover to our website
www.thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com.
Stephanie Allen (19:11):
Until next time...
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