December 24, 2024 • 21 mins
Have you ever struggled with any aspect of the holiday season?
If so, you’ll want to tune into today’s podcast.
If you could do holidays differently, what might that look like? And why?
What would it mean to you to get you in touch with your own inner presence and your gifts?
Mass consumerism, big business, advertising and social media have co-opted our holidays. AND, we’ve internalized the pressure to do ‘all the stuff’, be everything to everyone and to have all parts looking ‘just right’. All of this is at our own expense. We are the casualties.
👉🏻 Most importantly, we are also the solution.
In this week’s podcast, Stephanie and Maren talk about holidays from a different perspective - from the internal. They:
- Share how they empower themselves at the holidays
- Delve into the word holiday (holy day, hole-y day, filled with holes)
“There is a crack in everything, that’s how the light gets in.” - Leonard Cohen
- Make space for both presence and presents
- Offer an ancient forgotten practice ‘the 12 Days of Presence’
If you’ve ever struggled with any aspect of the holiday season, you will appreciate this podcast. Please share it with a friend that might benefit from hearing it as well.
LINKS
12:21 Hole-y Podcast: Ep 39 Matt Damon, Kintsugi & A Set of Dishes
12 Days of Presence & Co-Creation Circle
Please share your insights and questions in one of our Soulful Leaders groups:
Get all the latest episodes, news and updates directly to your inbox. Subscribe here. TheSoulfulLeaderPodcast.com
Watch the podcasts on our YouTube Channel: @Soulful Leaders
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Stephanie Allen (00:04):
In a world where we have everything and
it's still not enough, we'reoften left wondering, is this
really it?
Maren Oslac (00:10):
Deep inside you know, there's more to life
you're ready to leave behind theold push your way through and
claim the deeper, moremeaningful life that's calling
you.
Stephanie Allen (00:19):
That's what we invite you to explore with us.
Maren Oslac (00:22):
We're your hosts,
Stephanie Allen (00:23):
Stephanie Allen and
Maren Oslac (00:25):
Maren Oslac, and this is The Soulful Leader
Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (00:28):
Yay! Twas the night before Christmas, and this
was the podcast. (laughter) Hi,welcome. This is Stephanie and
Maren Oslac (00:34):
And especially because it starts in like June.
I'm here with Maren, and we areThe Soulful Leader Podcast. And
today, of course, we are just onthe edge of that Christmas
Now, it really feels like that.
season. And I knoweverybody's... well, I don't
Stephanie Allen (00:44):
And I don't want to be a Ba-humbug about it,
know if I know if everybody is,but I know myself personally,
around me there's this buzz ofenergy of trying to make sure
they get everything done beforeChristmas. And that saying is...
oh, are you ready for Christmasyet? Or are you ready for the
(01:04):
holidays yet? Just about makesme crazy sometimes.
as you can see from my glassesif you're watching the video,
but it's like, I think it's sucha beautiful time. And in
(01:27):
sometimes it gets clouded and wemiss the reason for the season,
that kind of saying, that kindof littles saying, but I just
keep reflecting on presence. Andyou know, something I Ioften did
with my niece and nephew. I onlyhave one niece and one nephew. I
love them absolutely dearly. Andgrowing up, I remember looking
(01:49):
back on the presents that I'vebeen given, whether they're
birthday presents or, you know,Christmas presents. And I don't
really remember the presents, tobe honest with you, but I
remember the memories of whattouched my heart and I as a
person myself, I want to be ableto bestow that on my loved ones.
I want to build memories, goodmemories, and so something I
(02:13):
often would always try to dowith my niece and nephew, would
give them experiences. Littlethings that we got to do
together. So we had presence,not so much the -ents type, but
that they would have memories,and they would grow as human
beings. And I'm really touchedby that. And I also struggle
(02:34):
personally, because I still comeup with, oh my gosh, I don't
have a present for so and so, orI don't have... and sometimes I
feel the pressure of theconsumerism to get more and to
give more in the way ofmaterialism. And I have to
completely turn inward all thetime and say, wait a minute,
what is most important? So I'mreally curious. Like, you know
(02:57):
how are you all are doing outthere in the way of like, how
are you unfolding the reason andthe season and all those
different things? And it can bea really hard time for so many,
especially if there isn't anyonein your life, or people have
passed on. You know, it canbring up both a lot of mixed
emotions, can't it?
Maren Oslac (03:19):
Well, you've opened a lot of cans in a short amount
of time. So let's talk abouteach of those, kind of
individually. The first one Iwas thinking about when you were
introducing it... are you readyfor the holidays? And it's not
just Christmas, it's any of theholidays throughout the year.
(03:40):
Really, we make it about theoutward. And not everybody, and
in general, society has made itabout the outward. Are you
decorated? Do you have thepresents? Is everything
wrapped? Is everything perfect?
And I think that does a lot ofharm. And you, one of the things
(04:01):
that you mentioned is, how iseveryone doing out there? There
can be some... a lot of innerangst around all of that. You
said you felt it yourself,right? And we're all about
awareness, you and I, and westill feel it, even at that
point of like, okay, I'm moreaware, I do think about the
(04:24):
presence like -ence versus-ents, and what is that? So if
we are more aware, if we canstop for a moment and and become
aware of the fact that most ofthe external is consumerism.
It's because somebody wants tosell us something, because
(04:48):
there's an expectation that'sbeen built. And what might it
look different, how might itlook different, if I look at, am
I prepared internally for theholiday? And I know most of you
are probably listening to this,and it's like it's in the 11th
hour, either your holiday hasalready passed or it's about to
(05:10):
pass. And we do have the newyear coming up. So it's not just
this holiday. It's any holidayof like, what does it mean to be
prepared on an internal level?
Stephanie Allen (05:26):
I think you're bringing up something, and when
I think of the internal level. Ithink what it really touches
within me is like, am I enough?
Am I enough? Am I giving enough?
Am I being present enough? Am Iloving enough? Am I too much,
too little? Just right? Like itreally brings that up. And even
(05:49):
though I can talk to myselfinternally and say, Yes, I know
I'm enough, there's this wavefrom the external that says, no,
you're not right. No, you'renot. And it's like, you're
swimming against the stream. AndI'm interested in how do we
learn how to surf that stream,you know, instead of being
(06:09):
tossed underneath it and tumbledand thrown onto shore, like, how
do we surf that in a way that wecan stay above it and still in
it?
Maren Oslac (06:20):
We're not feeling drowned in it. Or what I find
for myself is that I put on theouter and I make it through, and
then I get to the other side andit's like, oh, my god, can I
breathe? Right? There's areaction in my body that
happens. And so being able to bein it, have the head above the
(06:44):
surface, surfing it, and so Idon't have to go through that
after the fact of like, youknow, I think about vacations.
You know, a lot of people comehome from vacation, they're
like, I need a vacation for myvacation. And it's the same
thing. It's like, I need aholiday for my holiday. So how
do we, you know... that's agreat question, and I know you
(07:07):
all are listening, going great,they're gonna have an answer for
me. (laughter)
Stephanie Allen (07:11):
Yeah. And I think that's part of what we
even are about, is like, can weask questions and live in the
question without having tofigure it out or force an
answer... that is an alsounfamiliar place. It's just
holding the question. I'm gonnahold it and I'm gonna ask that
question to those I love to say,you know, what does it mean to
(07:32):
be present over the holidays?
Like, what would be the mostamazing gift? If we could change
anything about this holidayseason, what would you want?
What would you... how would youchange it? And just ask quick
questions. I'm not looking foranswers. I'm just when we start
to ask questions, there's adifferent part of ourselves that
shows up to it. It almost makesus stop that perpetual momentum
(07:55):
to say, huh, it's a goodquestion, I haven't really
thought of that. I mean, I cangive you another example,
because my mom, of course, youknow, she's older, and she's
like, for God's sake, I'm tryingto get rid of stuff. Please
don't give me anything, right? I
Maren Oslac (08:12):
I know that feeling right?
don't need anything.
Stephanie Allen (08:14):
It's like, you know, please don't, don't,
please. And so I was, I wasthinking about my niece and
nephew, and it's oddly enough,he had, my nephew had put
something on Facebook about whatChristmas meant to him, and it
just touched my heart so much.
It was about showing up andbeing present to even the
imperfections, and totally beingable to love and laugh no matter
(08:35):
what. And I just thought it wasso beautiful. So beautiful. So I
said to my mom, I said, look,what if we got together on the
22nd? and for years...she is anamazing chef, and she's an
amazing baker, and she's, Iswear, she's going to die with
those recipes in her if I don'ttake the time to go over there
and do it with her. And so I amconsciously making the time this
(08:59):
year to go in and be with her.
So I said that. I said, Well,you know what if on the 22nd you
know, come over and we'll makesome of those our favorite, you
know, favorite things that Ilove, that she makes for me,
that I have no idea how shemakes. And I'm like, okay, it's
about time I show up. And Isaid, why don't you invite my
(09:23):
brother and you know, hergrandchildren over? And the
elation in her voice, she goes,that would be the best...
present... ever. And she wasalmost in tears, and how touched
she was by that. That we wouldtake time out of our busy lives,
quote, unquote, to come over andmake her of value and our time
together. And I think, really, Ithink more and more that's what
(09:46):
we are seeking as a human being,is more healthy, happy,
functional times together.
Maren Oslac (09:53):
You know, you mentioned the word value, and I
really feel like our world hastrained us that our value is in
what we do, in what weaccomplish, in what we provide,
in how much money... you know,it's like all the external
values, and we've lost theinternal values. We've forgotten
(10:16):
or no one's reminded us thatthere is value in just being
present with the people aroundus. Like, that's the most sacred
of the values, yeah.
Stephanie Allen (10:27):
Like, like, caring does not mean that you
have to, like, just send acheck. Caring is actually being
with somebody going through arough time and just being there
with them.
Maren Oslac (10:38):
And not fixing or figuring it, or, like... nope,
just being there with them.
Stephanie Allen (10:43):
Just being present in the uncomfortability.
How much that has made an impactin my life, when I've gone
through some pretty rough times,and friends that have come over
and just literally sat with mewhile I cried or complained or
went on and that has touched myheart so much more. It's lasted
so much longer than any monetarypresent that I've ever been
(11:05):
given. And I mean, I value thosetoo. Those are great too. But I
just think that had such rootsto me. Somebody would take time
out of their busy life again andjust go and be present to me
like, Wow. What a gift. What agift.
Maren Oslac (11:21):
And, you know, we we tend to like to play with
words on this podcast or pullthem apart and look at them. So
a holiday is a holy-day. Whenwe're looking at questions we
can ask is, what is holy aboutour time together, or that I can
(11:41):
bring to the table. I do lovethe external holy meaning, like
what we celebrate in the world,whether you're Christian or
Jewish or, you know, likewhatever outer God that you
worship. I also am looking atwhat's holy inside of me.
Stephanie Allen (12:02):
Yeah, what is sacred?
Maren Oslac (12:03):
What's sacred? And the reason I want to go back to
the word holy is that when welook at the the bigger picture
of the word holy, the morelayers of it, it's literally
like, think about the holesright? And we've done a podcast
about that before, and I think acouple of them, we often think
(12:27):
of holiness, like the sacred, asthis perfect, like ideal, and
really it's the places, it's ourimperfections, it's the holes in
our sweaters, it's the holes inour soul. It's the holes, it's
the places that we're open andvulnerable. And when we talk
(12:49):
about presence, a lot of peopleare like, what does it mean to
be present? We don't know that,we're not trained to understand
that, we're not, we haven't beentaught the skill of presence.
And so I think of presence inthis holy time of being present
to like I am imperfect. What aremy imperfections? And maybe
bringing my imperfections to thetable and being like, you know
(13:12):
what, It's okay, and you aretoo, and I love you for your
imperfections, right?
Stephanie Allen (13:16):
You know it reminds me of that, Leonard
Cohen saying that you know...
holes, that you know the cracks,sacred are the cracks, because
that's where the light gets in.
But I also think it's where thelight gets out too. I think we
put ourselves in a box. There'syour present, you know, we put
ourselves in a box and we'remeant to be unwrapped. And we
(13:36):
can either be unwrapped throughpain and suffering and, you
know, or we can be unwrappedwith it, with joy and humor. Of
saying, wow this is exciting.
Okay, where the imperfectionsare, or where the, you know, the
I'm not so perfect. Thatactually might be an
extraordinary opportunity toexplore, joy and possibility.
Maren Oslac (13:58):
It brings us to humility and, you know,
humbleness and a lot of...
Stephanie Allen (14:02):
...surrender, vulnerability...
Maren Oslac (14:03):
Right! The inner this goes to the inner values
that we just started to talkabout, of like, those are the
inner values, and those are thethings that people will
remember, that we will remember,that make things sacred and
special. And, you know, we tendto overlook and say, oh, that's
not important... you know,that's the most important!
Stephanie Allen (14:25):
Well when we try to hide our 'holiness' or
our imperfections, right? That'swhen you just want to, like,
shake somebody and say, Oh forgod's sake will you just lighten
up a little bit, right? Insteadof when somebody, like, makes a
royal faux pas or something likethat. Then they go, oh my gosh,
did I just say that? Or did Ijust...? I'm so sorry. Actually
(14:46):
there's a sense of humor, thelightness that happens. It's
like, if we can laugh at ourholiness, our imperfections,
like, how much that actuallyunites and brings us so much
closer to each other. Sure,because we're like, oh, it's so
much more vulnerable, so muchmore real, and it gives us
permission to not be perfect,because there's no light in
(15:09):
being perfect. No,there's nolightness either. There's no
light in, no light getting out,but there's no light heartedness
either. And if we can laugh atourselves and make light of
someone else's holiness or ourown, that is really beautiful
And what'sreally kind of cool is that this
presence.
Maren Oslac (15:25):
So I, we are headed into a new year, and there's a
lot of pressure going into a newyear to set new year's
is being released just beforeChristmas Eve, and in our 12
resolutions and to do all of thestuff of set, set your goals.
days of Presence, you know, inChristmas Eve, we get to tell
And what I would encourageeveryone to think about as you
the universe what we want, andthen we create that 'hole', that
go into this new year is whatwould it mean to go into the
(15:48):
year with your holiness, withall of your imperfections, and
holiness, that vacuum for theuniverse, spirit, the divine,
be okay with it and literallylook at it as that's my
sacredness. It's a different wayof looking at it.
whatever you might put a word toit to actually fill it for us,
so that we can have thisconversation. And if you happen
(16:12):
to be listening this in thefirst week of January, it's
okay. You can still go back anddo the 12 days of Presence. It's
okay. There are no mistakes. AndI think it's absolutely perfect.
(16:33):
Whenever you are unfolding this,it's exactly when you need to
hear it, exactly how and whatneeds to happen for you.
And it's a, The 12Days of presence that we do is a
free series. So if you'relistening to this at any point
(16:55):
in time, you can go to ourwebsite
www.thesoulfulleaderpodcast.comand, you know, click on the link
that says The 12 days ofPresence and get that whole
email series. So feel free to dothat. You can also find out
about our co-creation circle,which then takes information...
we do things differently.
Imagine that. We look at ouryear very differently than most
(17:20):
people, and we look at goalsvery differently than most
people, in that we are literallyco-creating our lives with life,
and we hope, it's a differentconcept for most people. It's
funny, because I have a walkingpartner in the mornings, and
this morning we were walking,and I said to her...Stephanie
(17:41):
and I did something over thesolstice, where we took a group
of people through a visionboard, doing it very
differently. We went throughmagazines, or we drew whatever
what we wanted for the year, andthen we went through and we
looked at... what does life wantfor us for the year? And when I
(18:01):
said that to my walking partner,I said, you know, what would
life want for you for the year?
She went...' my brain justglitched', I don't even know
what that means. I don't... Ihave no clue. And I was
like...THAT's GREAT! She'slike...WHAT? I said... yes,
(18:21):
because you won't have any clue.
It's not your rational mind thatwill ever figure that out.
That's the, building the skillof presence. Oh, look what we
were just talking about!(laughter)
Stephanie Allen (18:34):
Creating that space for the future that wants
to come and fill that space foryou.
Maren Oslac (18:40):
Then putting that together, those two pieces
together into here's what Iwant, here's what life wants for
me. How do those fit together?
And that's how we work withstuff. So if you're interested
in the co-creation circle, youcan again, click on the link and
get more information about thator contact us directly. We do
things differently, and it'svery much connecting to your
(19:01):
incoming future. And we wouldlove to work with you and help
you to do that. If that's ofinterest to you, if your brain
goes, Huh? I don't know whatthey just said, and I would like
more information, because I'vekind of leaned in and gone, hmm,
that's different. It isdifferent.
Stephanie Allen (19:20):
So even posing that question right now during
the holiday season, how wouldyou like to unfold this holiday
season differently? And why?
Why would that be important, ifit was different? Why? I think
that's what will get you intouch with your inner presence
and your gifts and and you'rerealizing, hey, there's more to
(19:40):
it than just the materialconsumerism.
Maren Oslac (19:44):
There is. And because the the holiday season,
at least Christmas anyway, is soclose to the New Year, taking
that and applying it to nextweek and what, what is it that
you would like to unfold forthis coming year? and what would
life like to unfold for you forthis year? Ooh, so stay present
(20:07):
to that conversation, and wewish you all a very, very joyous
holiday season. If it's alreadydone for you, that's wonderful.
I hope it was beautiful. Youhave lots of questions that you
can think about for the rest ofthe holidays in this coming
2025, thanks for joining us. Wewill see you all in two weeks on
(20:31):
The Soulful Leader Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (20:42):
And that wraps up another episode of The
Soulful Leader Podcast with yourhosts, Stephanie Allen
Maren Oslac (20:48):
and Maren Oslac.
Thank you for listening. Ifyou'd like to dive deeper, head
over to our website, atwww.thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com
Stephanie Allen (20:59):
Until next time...
In a world where we have everything and
it's still not enough, we'reoften left wondering, is this
really it?
Maren Oslac (00:10):
Deep inside you know, there's more to life
you're ready to leave behind theold push your way through and
claim the deeper, moremeaningful life that's calling
you.
Stephanie Allen (00:19):
That's what we invite you to explore with us.
Maren Oslac (00:22):
We're your hosts,
Stephanie Allen (00:23):
Stephanie Allen and
Maren Oslac (00:25):
Maren Oslac, and this is The Soulful Leader
Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (00:28):
Yay! Twas the night before Christmas, and this
was the podcast. (laughter) Hi,welcome. This is Stephanie and
Maren Oslac (00:34):
And especially because it starts in like June.
I'm here with Maren, and we areThe Soulful Leader Podcast. And
today, of course, we are just onthe edge of that Christmas
Now, it really feels like that.
season. And I knoweverybody's... well, I don't
Stephanie Allen (00:44):
And I don't want to be a Ba-humbug about it,
know if I know if everybody is,but I know myself personally,
around me there's this buzz ofenergy of trying to make sure
they get everything done beforeChristmas. And that saying is...
oh, are you ready for Christmasyet? Or are you ready for the
(01:04):
holidays yet? Just about makesme crazy sometimes.
as you can see from my glassesif you're watching the video,
but it's like, I think it's sucha beautiful time. And in
(01:27):
sometimes it gets clouded and wemiss the reason for the season,
that kind of saying, that kindof littles saying, but I just
keep reflecting on presence. Andyou know, something I Ioften did
with my niece and nephew. I onlyhave one niece and one nephew. I
love them absolutely dearly. Andgrowing up, I remember looking
(01:49):
back on the presents that I'vebeen given, whether they're
birthday presents or, you know,Christmas presents. And I don't
really remember the presents, tobe honest with you, but I
remember the memories of whattouched my heart and I as a
person myself, I want to be ableto bestow that on my loved ones.
I want to build memories, goodmemories, and so something I
(02:13):
often would always try to dowith my niece and nephew, would
give them experiences. Littlethings that we got to do
together. So we had presence,not so much the -ents type, but
that they would have memories,and they would grow as human
beings. And I'm really touchedby that. And I also struggle
(02:34):
personally, because I still comeup with, oh my gosh, I don't
have a present for so and so, orI don't have... and sometimes I
feel the pressure of theconsumerism to get more and to
give more in the way ofmaterialism. And I have to
completely turn inward all thetime and say, wait a minute,
what is most important? So I'mreally curious. Like, you know
(02:57):
how are you all are doing outthere in the way of like, how
are you unfolding the reason andthe season and all those
different things? And it can bea really hard time for so many,
especially if there isn't anyonein your life, or people have
passed on. You know, it canbring up both a lot of mixed
emotions, can't it?
Maren Oslac (03:19):
Well, you've opened a lot of cans in a short amount
of time. So let's talk abouteach of those, kind of
individually. The first one Iwas thinking about when you were
introducing it... are you readyfor the holidays? And it's not
just Christmas, it's any of theholidays throughout the year.
(03:40):
Really, we make it about theoutward. And not everybody, and
in general, society has made itabout the outward. Are you
decorated? Do you have thepresents? Is everything
wrapped? Is everything perfect?
And I think that does a lot ofharm. And you, one of the things
(04:01):
that you mentioned is, how iseveryone doing out there? There
can be some... a lot of innerangst around all of that. You
said you felt it yourself,right? And we're all about
awareness, you and I, and westill feel it, even at that
point of like, okay, I'm moreaware, I do think about the
(04:24):
presence like -ence versus-ents, and what is that? So if
we are more aware, if we canstop for a moment and and become
aware of the fact that most ofthe external is consumerism.
It's because somebody wants tosell us something, because
(04:48):
there's an expectation that'sbeen built. And what might it
look different, how might itlook different, if I look at, am
I prepared internally for theholiday? And I know most of you
are probably listening to this,and it's like it's in the 11th
hour, either your holiday hasalready passed or it's about to
(05:10):
pass. And we do have the newyear coming up. So it's not just
this holiday. It's any holidayof like, what does it mean to be
prepared on an internal level?
Stephanie Allen (05:26):
I think you're bringing up something, and when
I think of the internal level. Ithink what it really touches
within me is like, am I enough?
Am I enough? Am I giving enough?
Am I being present enough? Am Iloving enough? Am I too much,
too little? Just right? Like itreally brings that up. And even
(05:49):
though I can talk to myselfinternally and say, Yes, I know
I'm enough, there's this wavefrom the external that says, no,
you're not right. No, you'renot. And it's like, you're
swimming against the stream. AndI'm interested in how do we
learn how to surf that stream,you know, instead of being
(06:09):
tossed underneath it and tumbledand thrown onto shore, like, how
do we surf that in a way that wecan stay above it and still in
it?
Maren Oslac (06:20):
We're not feeling drowned in it. Or what I find
for myself is that I put on theouter and I make it through, and
then I get to the other side andit's like, oh, my god, can I
breathe? Right? There's areaction in my body that
happens. And so being able to bein it, have the head above the
(06:44):
surface, surfing it, and so Idon't have to go through that
after the fact of like, youknow, I think about vacations.
You know, a lot of people comehome from vacation, they're
like, I need a vacation for myvacation. And it's the same
thing. It's like, I need aholiday for my holiday. So how
do we, you know... that's agreat question, and I know you
(07:07):
all are listening, going great,they're gonna have an answer for
me. (laughter)
Stephanie Allen (07:11):
Yeah. And I think that's part of what we
even are about, is like, can weask questions and live in the
question without having tofigure it out or force an
answer... that is an alsounfamiliar place. It's just
holding the question. I'm gonnahold it and I'm gonna ask that
question to those I love to say,you know, what does it mean to
(07:32):
be present over the holidays?
Like, what would be the mostamazing gift? If we could change
anything about this holidayseason, what would you want?
What would you... how would youchange it? And just ask quick
questions. I'm not looking foranswers. I'm just when we start
to ask questions, there's adifferent part of ourselves that
shows up to it. It almost makesus stop that perpetual momentum
(07:55):
to say, huh, it's a goodquestion, I haven't really
thought of that. I mean, I cangive you another example,
because my mom, of course, youknow, she's older, and she's
like, for God's sake, I'm tryingto get rid of stuff. Please
don't give me anything, right? I
Maren Oslac (08:12):
I know that feeling right?
don't need anything.
Stephanie Allen (08:14):
It's like, you know, please don't, don't,
please. And so I was, I wasthinking about my niece and
nephew, and it's oddly enough,he had, my nephew had put
something on Facebook about whatChristmas meant to him, and it
just touched my heart so much.
It was about showing up andbeing present to even the
imperfections, and totally beingable to love and laugh no matter
(08:35):
what. And I just thought it wasso beautiful. So beautiful. So I
said to my mom, I said, look,what if we got together on the
22nd? and for years...she is anamazing chef, and she's an
amazing baker, and she's, Iswear, she's going to die with
those recipes in her if I don'ttake the time to go over there
and do it with her. And so I amconsciously making the time this
(08:59):
year to go in and be with her.
So I said that. I said, Well,you know what if on the 22nd you
know, come over and we'll makesome of those our favorite, you
know, favorite things that Ilove, that she makes for me,
that I have no idea how shemakes. And I'm like, okay, it's
about time I show up. And Isaid, why don't you invite my
(09:23):
brother and you know, hergrandchildren over? And the
elation in her voice, she goes,that would be the best...
present... ever. And she wasalmost in tears, and how touched
she was by that. That we wouldtake time out of our busy lives,
quote, unquote, to come over andmake her of value and our time
together. And I think, really, Ithink more and more that's what
(09:46):
we are seeking as a human being,is more healthy, happy,
functional times together.
Maren Oslac (09:53):
You know, you mentioned the word value, and I
really feel like our world hastrained us that our value is in
what we do, in what weaccomplish, in what we provide,
in how much money... you know,it's like all the external
values, and we've lost theinternal values. We've forgotten
(10:16):
or no one's reminded us thatthere is value in just being
present with the people aroundus. Like, that's the most sacred
of the values, yeah.
Stephanie Allen (10:27):
Like, like, caring does not mean that you
have to, like, just send acheck. Caring is actually being
with somebody going through arough time and just being there
with them.
Maren Oslac (10:38):
And not fixing or figuring it, or, like... nope,
just being there with them.
Stephanie Allen (10:43):
Just being present in the uncomfortability.
How much that has made an impactin my life, when I've gone
through some pretty rough times,and friends that have come over
and just literally sat with mewhile I cried or complained or
went on and that has touched myheart so much more. It's lasted
so much longer than any monetarypresent that I've ever been
(11:05):
given. And I mean, I value thosetoo. Those are great too. But I
just think that had such rootsto me. Somebody would take time
out of their busy life again andjust go and be present to me
like, Wow. What a gift. What agift.
Maren Oslac (11:21):
And, you know, we we tend to like to play with
words on this podcast or pullthem apart and look at them. So
a holiday is a holy-day. Whenwe're looking at questions we
can ask is, what is holy aboutour time together, or that I can
(11:41):
bring to the table. I do lovethe external holy meaning, like
what we celebrate in the world,whether you're Christian or
Jewish or, you know, likewhatever outer God that you
worship. I also am looking atwhat's holy inside of me.
Stephanie Allen (12:02):
Yeah, what is sacred?
Maren Oslac (12:03):
What's sacred? And the reason I want to go back to
the word holy is that when welook at the the bigger picture
of the word holy, the morelayers of it, it's literally
like, think about the holesright? And we've done a podcast
about that before, and I think acouple of them, we often think
(12:27):
of holiness, like the sacred, asthis perfect, like ideal, and
really it's the places, it's ourimperfections, it's the holes in
our sweaters, it's the holes inour soul. It's the holes, it's
the places that we're open andvulnerable. And when we talk
(12:49):
about presence, a lot of peopleare like, what does it mean to
be present? We don't know that,we're not trained to understand
that, we're not, we haven't beentaught the skill of presence.
And so I think of presence inthis holy time of being present
to like I am imperfect. What aremy imperfections? And maybe
bringing my imperfections to thetable and being like, you know
(13:12):
what, It's okay, and you aretoo, and I love you for your
imperfections, right?
Stephanie Allen (13:16):
You know it reminds me of that, Leonard
Cohen saying that you know...
holes, that you know the cracks,sacred are the cracks, because
that's where the light gets in.
But I also think it's where thelight gets out too. I think we
put ourselves in a box. There'syour present, you know, we put
ourselves in a box and we'remeant to be unwrapped. And we
(13:36):
can either be unwrapped throughpain and suffering and, you
know, or we can be unwrappedwith it, with joy and humor. Of
saying, wow this is exciting.
Okay, where the imperfectionsare, or where the, you know, the
I'm not so perfect. Thatactually might be an
extraordinary opportunity toexplore, joy and possibility.
Maren Oslac (13:58):
It brings us to humility and, you know,
humbleness and a lot of...
Stephanie Allen (14:02):
...surrender, vulnerability...
Maren Oslac (14:03):
Right! The inner this goes to the inner values
that we just started to talkabout, of like, those are the
inner values, and those are thethings that people will
remember, that we will remember,that make things sacred and
special. And, you know, we tendto overlook and say, oh, that's
not important... you know,that's the most important!
Stephanie Allen (14:25):
Well when we try to hide our 'holiness' or
our imperfections, right? That'swhen you just want to, like,
shake somebody and say, Oh forgod's sake will you just lighten
up a little bit, right? Insteadof when somebody, like, makes a
royal faux pas or something likethat. Then they go, oh my gosh,
did I just say that? Or did Ijust...? I'm so sorry. Actually
(14:46):
there's a sense of humor, thelightness that happens. It's
like, if we can laugh at ourholiness, our imperfections,
like, how much that actuallyunites and brings us so much
closer to each other. Sure,because we're like, oh, it's so
much more vulnerable, so muchmore real, and it gives us
permission to not be perfect,because there's no light in
(15:09):
being perfect. No,there's nolightness either. There's no
light in, no light getting out,but there's no light heartedness
either. And if we can laugh atourselves and make light of
someone else's holiness or ourown, that is really beautiful
And what'sreally kind of cool is that this
presence.
Maren Oslac (15:25):
So I, we are headed into a new year, and there's a
lot of pressure going into a newyear to set new year's
is being released just beforeChristmas Eve, and in our 12
resolutions and to do all of thestuff of set, set your goals.
days of Presence, you know, inChristmas Eve, we get to tell
And what I would encourageeveryone to think about as you
the universe what we want, andthen we create that 'hole', that
go into this new year is whatwould it mean to go into the
(15:48):
year with your holiness, withall of your imperfections, and
holiness, that vacuum for theuniverse, spirit, the divine,
be okay with it and literallylook at it as that's my
sacredness. It's a different wayof looking at it.
whatever you might put a word toit to actually fill it for us,
so that we can have thisconversation. And if you happen
(16:12):
to be listening this in thefirst week of January, it's
okay. You can still go back anddo the 12 days of Presence. It's
okay. There are no mistakes. AndI think it's absolutely perfect.
(16:33):
Whenever you are unfolding this,it's exactly when you need to
hear it, exactly how and whatneeds to happen for you.
And it's a, The 12Days of presence that we do is a
free series. So if you'relistening to this at any point
(16:55):
in time, you can go to ourwebsite
www.thesoulfulleaderpodcast.comand, you know, click on the link
that says The 12 days ofPresence and get that whole
email series. So feel free to dothat. You can also find out
about our co-creation circle,which then takes information...
we do things differently.
Imagine that. We look at ouryear very differently than most
(17:20):
people, and we look at goalsvery differently than most
people, in that we are literallyco-creating our lives with life,
and we hope, it's a differentconcept for most people. It's
funny, because I have a walkingpartner in the mornings, and
this morning we were walking,and I said to her...Stephanie
(17:41):
and I did something over thesolstice, where we took a group
of people through a visionboard, doing it very
differently. We went throughmagazines, or we drew whatever
what we wanted for the year, andthen we went through and we
looked at... what does life wantfor us for the year? And when I
(18:01):
said that to my walking partner,I said, you know, what would
life want for you for the year?
She went...' my brain justglitched', I don't even know
what that means. I don't... Ihave no clue. And I was
like...THAT's GREAT! She'slike...WHAT? I said... yes,
(18:21):
because you won't have any clue.
It's not your rational mind thatwill ever figure that out.
That's the, building the skillof presence. Oh, look what we
were just talking about!(laughter)
Stephanie Allen (18:34):
Creating that space for the future that wants
to come and fill that space foryou.
Maren Oslac (18:40):
Then putting that together, those two pieces
together into here's what Iwant, here's what life wants for
me. How do those fit together?
And that's how we work withstuff. So if you're interested
in the co-creation circle, youcan again, click on the link and
get more information about thator contact us directly. We do
things differently, and it'svery much connecting to your
(19:01):
incoming future. And we wouldlove to work with you and help
you to do that. If that's ofinterest to you, if your brain
goes, Huh? I don't know whatthey just said, and I would like
more information, because I'vekind of leaned in and gone, hmm,
that's different. It isdifferent.
Stephanie Allen (19:20):
So even posing that question right now during
the holiday season, how wouldyou like to unfold this holiday
season differently? And why?
Why would that be important, ifit was different? Why? I think
that's what will get you intouch with your inner presence
and your gifts and and you'rerealizing, hey, there's more to
(19:40):
it than just the materialconsumerism.
Maren Oslac (19:44):
There is. And because the the holiday season,
at least Christmas anyway, is soclose to the New Year, taking
that and applying it to nextweek and what, what is it that
you would like to unfold forthis coming year? and what would
life like to unfold for you forthis year? Ooh, so stay present
(20:07):
to that conversation, and wewish you all a very, very joyous
holiday season. If it's alreadydone for you, that's wonderful.
I hope it was beautiful. Youhave lots of questions that you
can think about for the rest ofthe holidays in this coming
2025, thanks for joining us. Wewill see you all in two weeks on
(20:31):
The Soulful Leader Podcast.
Stephanie Allen (20:42):
And that wraps up another episode of The
Soulful Leader Podcast with yourhosts, Stephanie Allen
Maren Oslac (20:48):
and Maren Oslac.
Thank you for listening. Ifyou'd like to dive deeper, head
over to our website, atwww.thesoulfulleaderpodcast.com
Stephanie Allen (20:59):
Until next time...
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